Dale Jr. Download: I Was So Drunk Once That I...

The Dale Jr. Download gang asked fans to finish the sentence "I was so drunk once that I..."
The responses did not disappoint and the group shared stories of their own.
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[@derekv8534]

I was so drunk one time I passed out on a train in Frankfurt, Germany...a 20 min train ride from the bar district to where I was staying. Ended up waking up 5 hours later in Switzerland.

[@Diesel257]

Same but London to middle of nowhere Scotland.

[@FloridaManRacer]

I once got so drunk that I went to a mcdonalds (pre open 24hrs), fell asleep on the toilet, management locked up the store for the night, left and I woke up at 4:30am to a closed mcdonalds... I laid down in a booth and waited for the AM shift to arrive... Didn't get arrested thankfully lol.

[@kainhall]

they probably didnt want you to sue them LOL

[@WaRLoKWYATT]

I would have made some food for sure.

[@califcamper]

omg I would have ate like 100 big macs...well maybe 2 lol

[@Andrew.Griffin]

That closet story gets better once you realize it was Rick Hendrick's house and Jimmie Johnson was there.

[@jackielowe2895]

And that Jr had to.get stitches in his head earlier in the evening.

[@jackielowe2895]

And Jr hit his head on pool and had stitches done by Dr under contract to Hendrick Motorsports.

[@theheadofthetable4246]

Not Rick, it was ricky Hendricks house. Just a little nit pick.

[@ChuckD351]

“That sounds like a Human Resource issue” Great Call Jr.

[@joeyoung4871]

Hahaha

[@joshlee1799]

Sound's a little bit rapesque

[@Somanykyles]

i was so drunk once that I dont remember 5 years of my life.

[@mwwilli8803]

Dale Jr , PLEASE get Schrader on. Kenny Schrader has some stories to tell. We all know Schrader took you everywhere with him, and you two had a lot of fun when you were younger.

[@grumpydave5377]

Schrader is one of those guys that is just naturally funny. He doesn't even have to try.

[@ChrisSmith-1983]

Kenny Wallace would be awesome too.

[@jaystephenson7360]

Schrader for two hours!

[@tylermccune7092]

Kenny Wallace and Ken Schrader both need to get on there

[@fishhuntadventure]

ARE YOU FEELING LUCKY PUNK Schrader would do it for Jr. They’d both no what to do.

[@kenmadden6294]

I know a guy who got so drunk in a bar that he strolled over and peed in the ice machine in front of everyone. The owner was so pissed he says, "You are not only banned from here for life, but if I ever sell this place it will be in the contract that you are still banned!"

[@Vampirebear13]

Nice to see Dale Jr. wearing an Ernie Irvin shirt. I'd really like to hear some stories about Ernie Irvin and Alan Kulwicki and PLEASE get Mark Martin on the show PLEASE.

[@ChuyitoRegio]

Lmao! I love how he just eases by it "And one time I peed in a closet and that was it..." hahahahahahaha

[@chris1994ification]

I was so drunk one time i threw up twice mid conversation and kept on with my convo each time like nothing ever happened

[@unarammer2003]

i stayed the night at a buddies house and was on the couch asleep. i woke up and his dad had opened his grandfather clock and was soaking it..lmao..his mom was screaming at him to stop..it was a big floor model with a nice door..wont ever forget that...lol..

[@grab-a-skillet3585]

I love how he tried hiding peeing in the closet with a golf cart story🤣🤣

[@robertsalido1232]

I was at a party once where I saw a woman take a dump in cat litter. After she was done, she used the kitchen towel to wipe and then rehung the kitchen towel on the handle of the stove, where she removed it from.

[@billdarling4010]

I was so drunk once that I threw up in the back of a police car. At the station the bald chief of police walked past and I rubbed the top of his head while saying " Hey baldy". Lucky for me he and the arresting officers had a sense of humor. I was 15 at the time, that probably worked in my favor.

[@nickh9632]

Jimmy Johnson tells the pee closet story was so much funnier lol

[@josephvalentjr7677]

Hey. Guys. I had spinal surgery and the doc. Made mistakes and disrupted my bladder nerves and He instructed my wife to keep putting my hand in warm water to get me to pee. No. Lie. Guys. I’m. Wheelchair bound. Now and still can’t pee correctly . Y’all are the. Best. Keeping. It. Real. Like. We all are. y’all keep me. Smiling and my spirits Uplifted when I’m bedridden. Excellent. Job to the entire crew Thanks. Big Joe

[@ProCoach2373]

I was so drunk once.....that I fell OUT of a bar in Lake Havasu! Literally over the railing, onto the beach, with the bushes shaking. My buddies were debating with the bouncer about kicking me out. "Ah, he's not that drunk" "Your buddy just fell out of the bar." "We'll see you later. LOL

[@johnharding91]

I loved when Dale said, "Now That's Drunk!" If Dale says "Now That's Drunk" you get a T-Shirt!

[@chico5489]

Unfortunately got one better. Got drunk on the farm one night. Walked behind the barn to take a piss. Pissed on the electric fence. Everybody had a good laugh but me... Love the podcast sir.

[@SS-zy9rp]

Best thing ever, drawing on somebody when they are drunk 😂😂😂

[@SIX6SIXer]

I was in St.Louis for a wedding. I got blackout drunk and the details of the mischief me and my cousin got up to is still a mystery to this day. When the haze lifted, me and my cousin are in an office behind the cages at Harrah's Casino, and he's sitting at a desk going through the drawers. Neither of us know why we were there or how we got back there. We didn't even know we were in a casino until we came out onto the floor. Nobody tried to stop us on our way out and we didn't ask any questions. We still scratch our heads in wonder, slightly chuckle, and shrug when we talk about it lol.

[@meanmrmustang]

By far the best question asked

[@jeffcanyafixiy]

I once woke up in the back of my pickup with our local Farmers market going on around me. 😁

[@aarontodd72]

I was in a tri axle dealership one time, and pulled into some random house

[@aarontodd72]

@ARE YOU FEELING LUCKY PUNK no it just means I had no business driving after that much alcohol

[@Stormynormy42]

I disagree on the part where it doesn't happen at your own house. The only time it ever happened to me was about 6 months ago. My wife said she woke up to me standing in the middle of the bedroom, taking a leak like there was a toilet there. She tried to wake me up vocally but I didn't hear her, then I walked back to the bed, laid down, and went straight back to sleep. I don't even normally wake up and use the bathroom in the middle of the night, so it was quite odd. And yes, I did the carpet cleaning lol

[@nemechek8746]

"I was so drunk once that"tales don't end ✌️

[@charlestinsman620]

One time I thought I was pissing in the toilet but it was the clothes hamper 😂

[@480biker]

I was once so drunk that I was with a friend who was driving me home and running low on gas in his VW bus. I had the not so bright idea that I could just jog the 1.5 miles to my apartment. I remember getting sick, and then waking up on a couch with a cops gun in my face. I apparently had the idea I would climb thru the dog door of my buddy's house I use to rent a room from and crash on the sofa. Problem was my buddy had moved. Long story short it took some time, even with my buddy's help, to get the charges reduced from a 3rd degree felony to a misdemeanor trespassing charge. BTW, this all occurred when I had only been dating my future wife of now 25 years, for a month. Oh and I pissed in our luggage while on vacation, lol

[@samuelreams7670]

You actually fit through the dog door? No way I could

[@matthewscott135]

I was so drunk one night and decided to light off some fire works. I woke up in the ditch access the road from my parents house with grass in my underwear.

[@kh40yr]

Thumbs up. I missed this 2 years ago,,somehow. Good stuff.

[@JaimeBobby1776]

I love the Islip Speedway sticker on your control booth wall! Throwback to Long Island!

[@user-cs3zs6jn1d]

I had a dream that I was going to use the bathroom. It was so real that after flushing the toilet and the water made it to the bottom, I woke up and realized I pee'd on my girlfriend in the bed. I was completely sober. She was so pissed. (pun intended)

[@JP_Stoeffler]

Oh my god that’s rich

[@seanwagner3605]

“Yeah it’s crazy...: try it” lmao 😂

[@patwatson7115]

I had a good friend I grew up with that helped me with my dirt track car,so every weekend after the races we all went out drinking and I'd let him crash at my house, but he would always piss in the closet and then go outside and finish sleeping in the yard but only after he went in the fridge and took the mustard to cuddle with,the man has some issues 🤣🤣

[@7viewerlogic670]

LoL

[@Sauron969]

Man I love this clip! I unfortunately peed in a drawer myself one time... he's right it is easier than you think lol.

[@super22ll]

When a drunk passes out, you shave one of their eyebrows. That way they either have to live with it or they have to shave the other one themselves.

[@KK-ex5zu]

I'm the pissing in the city parking garage at 2AM drunk guy, from now on I will salute Truex Jr as I do it! I'm very lucky, I've never been caught by security, parking attendants, or the cops yet! Anybody who has a history of serious partying or drinking most likely has at least one pissing in/on a weird place story.

[@bigglilwayne7050]

I have a buddy that's a "sleep pisser", it's basically sleep walking with the purpose of pissing in random places😂😂😂😂

[@knighttwhitet5535]

Oh man I have so many!! Back in 2007 I was with some friends in Daytona for spring break staying at the Mayan hotel. We hit all the hot spots downtown that night.. Somehow I lost my friends and woke up the next morning in a suburban neighborhood in someone's bushes in their front yard 😅 luckily I was able to get out of there before someone found me!!

[@theresayoung6374]

I freakin love 😂 y’all!!!!!😂😂😂😂😂

[@jonbenoit333]

I was so drunk one time, that I pissed (a good long one) in the heating & air conditioning vent in my friends living room.

[@ScamLikely9327]

When I was young and still drinking I had a house where we use to party multiple nights a week for about a year and I genuinely don’t remember any of those parties. I was so drunk I can’t remember a whole year.

[@BowensBlvd]

Back in the 80's at deer camp while sleeping in my dad's pick up camper My uncle was so drunk got up in the middle of the night and started peeing into the camper furnace vent that was located on the wall by the door, my dad said he was woken up to the foulest smell he's ever endured described it as if he tasted the vapors from the piss. My dad yelled at my uncle "Jim, Jim! Wake the f××k up you're pissing into the heater. Lol every year after that when the furnace was first turned on, the smell of urine filled the camper briefly....

[@popsicle33]

OMG this is the best show I never knew was on.

[@blakelygober4241]

There has to be more stories from the BAR/CLUB you use to have at your house.

[@trintygamesandrobloxandmor128]

The 16 people that disliked this, they have never been drunk in their lifetime.

[@snaproll94e]

Love the Ernie Irvan shirt, hope you have him on.....please have him on!

[@DavidScercy]

Love the Ernie Irvan D.K. throwback!!!

[@scottsatterlee9965]

New favorite pod cast!!! Thanks Diety mo

[@chrisphillips9388]

There was a guy in Morgantown, WV that was so drunk he took an Uber back to his house New Jersey. $1600

[@brentcurry9698]

Chris Phillips LET’S GO....

[@chrisphillips9388]

@@brentcurry9698 MOUNTAINEERS!!!!

[@elvisfan6475]

Dale JR Rocks

[@savedin87ify]

Drove from St. Louis Missouri on a Friday night. Woke up in Indianapolis on Monday morning.

[@rodneyduckett7619]

An interview with chocolate Myers would be interesting

[@jamesboardman8859]

I've never peed in a closet, but I've puked into someone's console stereo cabinet. Thank God they forgave me!

[@88fanforlife]

The peeing in the closet story was the same night Jr dove head first in the pool at Ricky Hendrick’s house 😂😂😂

[@WilliamWallaceRoss]

Well, this is from my Army National Guard days on 2-week assignment to Germany with the US Army. I was so drunk once that I lost my camera with many pictures of German History, then, once back at the Barracks to get some sleep before boarding the plane to come back to America, during the night, I puke into my duffle bag with everything in it. That is what happens when you mix German Beer, Whiskey and Schnapps on your only day off. I should have learned from an earlier experience where I drank some Ancestoral Beer....Guinness, but, I didn't.

[@101proofplease6]

Ok...4 day weekend. Labor day I think...Germany....Barracks parties...not party...parties...Grunts... Tuesday morning PT formation....Top telling me and 10 others to fall back behind the formation. Oh and statement of charges with 30/30 Art 15er....you can probably fill in the blanks. Lolol

[@mrmartin28]

I had a buddy get so drunk one night he flipped the cushion up on the couch like it was a toilet seat and emptied he’s bladder on the sleeper sofa underneath.

[@lgsocom]

Woke at sunrise propped up outside the municipal utilities office brick sign wearing a t-shirt that wasn’t mine, a pair of running shorts that weren’t mine with a defused frag grenade tucked inside those running shorts that wasn’t mine. 20 years later I still have no idea what happened that night. Tequila is the devil.

[@prairiefarmer5994]

Little did everyone know during this conversation that the friend that woke Jr up while peeing was Jimmie Johnson lol

[@darrenkastl8160]

I was so drunk......I partied, I woke up.......in another country, Canada....and.......when I got up off the couch I just happened to be a guest of three strippers! Lol! They each worked at different clubs spent three days and they all took me home! The look on my mother's face was priceless! Lol! They all got out of the car and my sister eyeballs popped out of her head! Lol!

[@tccollett9926]

Awesome Ernie Irvin shirt, Dale!!

[@patmurphy2472]

Never been THAT drunk.

[@Diesel257]

Woke up in my car with a layer of dew covering me because the windows were down in the middle of a field I didn't recognize. I was so mad at myself for driving in that condition and now being lost for about 30 min before I looked behind me and saw the house I had partied at the night before.

[@81ghale]

I got so drunk one time, the last thing I remember was the very beginning of the night when I picked up my buddy. Then cut to waking up in the center of an empty room on the floor, in a completely empty apartment all alone. That was over 10 years ago and to this day I have zero memories or know how I got in an empty apartment.

[@zacharystranahan9087]

In Idaho got so drunk that I woke up in an Alley in Las Vegas wearing nothing but somebody else's thong and thought to myself...''Again? That's the 6th time this week."

[@Rusram]

"Muscle Memory" 😂

[@danballard5249]

It's great that you find out later down the road that they're at Ricky's house, and that Jimmie is the guy who saw it happening and woke him up. :D

[@Justin-rv9nc]

True story. I had build a big Koi pond next to my porch it had a waterfall and fountain big rock and all. It had some big Koi in it as well. So I was sitting on my step right next to the pond watching KZbin for hours drinking vodka straight out of the bottle not mixing it with anything not proud of it but I could drink ALOT more than anyone I know and at the time I was only about 140 pounds and 25 years old. Anyways I had been outside for probably 4 hours and my wife came outside and asked if I wanted to come in and go to bed. I said sure hunny, and started to stand up. Halfway up I proceeded to fall backwards into my Koi pond and I mean all the way in. Then I started climbing out pissed off. When I got both feet back on my sidewalk I swear I fell backwards right back in pissed off again. My wife had to hold me to get me back inside. That's a true story and not a proud moment!

[@RexKramerDangerSeeker]

I was so drunk that I sleep walked to the refrigerator, pissed on the door and went back to bed. Roommates were awake and saw the whole thing.

[@ChuckD351]

My friend got so drunk that he drove to the police department to report his car stolen. Luckily, the door was locked. The reason he thought that his car was stolen, was the radio was on AM and he couldn’t find his favorite station.

[@georgiabelle3389]

My best friend and I drank a whole bottle of crown. We got so drunk that I puked in the bushes on the front porch while she was puking in the bathroom. She got on her hands and knees and crawled to the car while her now soon to be husband had to drive her home. Well as she was crawling to her car, I remember thinking, “oh my bestie needs me..,” so I tried to walk to her, and I got down on my knees and started to crawl with her. The next day was my real birthday, so we did a birthday brunch, and I had to stop on the side of the road to puke from my hangover. It was a fun night, but that’s also the night that I discovered that I can’t drink like I used to. Now I’m almost 30, and hangovers are rough. To this day, the smell of crown Apple will turn my stomach.

[@derekbentley4231]

I know your laughing and smiling

[@reginaldhall6871]

My worst drunk moment was at the Talladega camping grounds, so nothing out of the ordinary by Dega standards

[@brfam1977]

I went to one of his famous parties at his house. Old friend of mine worked in their garage and invited. It was insane and we got very drunk. All I remember a big van taking us home.

[@punktalley]

I was so drunk once I walked home from my own house party. Yep...I threw a party back when I was in high school at my house when my parents left for the weekend. We were experienced drinkers and knew our limits but this was the first party of the season so things went heavy and fast. By 12 or 1 A.m. everyone was lit and some were already passed out. The party was on the down slope and there were maybe 3 of us still up. We got together and I said this party sucks. Told my buddies hell with this I know where some weed is at and we can go smoke and party. We left my house to go to my house.

[@blakebrewer1308]

BREWSTER04 HERE! In the words of the late great cornel sanders, I'm too drunk to taste this chicken! Lol

[@tommccarron324]

If you remember, then you weren't drunk enough

[@lockedin60]

I never had a problem with just consuming alcohol but add wacky weed to the mix and some unusual things happen. But that was my thirtysomehing self. Since my late 30s I've learned to rein it in.

[@paulrivers7248]

Why and how have jr and mike aged so damn much in 3 yrs wow

[@jim6827]

Jr got so drunk thought he was a race car driver

[@WhatAboutTheBee]

Back at University, in a frat, going on road trips. Those in back had the keg going. Nature takes its course and the need to pee did not align with the need to stop. Pee into a cup, pour it carefully out the van door, at speed. The procedure was inadequately explained to one who tossed the urine out the door only to have it blow back into the van, annihilating all in its wind blown path!

[@jeffreybohne4827]

My mom woke up one early morning after a night of heavy drinking and my dad was pissing on the TV!

[@butterflies3276]

Lol when my first wife moved into my house at the time she moved the bed in my room.. well it made it so the doors switched so I was peeing in the hallway onto the wall. She woke me up yelling wtf are you doing... in my defense it is where the toilet was when the bed was the other way.

[@rockandrollrob61]

... One time I got so drunk ( at home ) I passed out, maybe an hour or 2 later one of my neighbors ( which also happened to be a friend)came to my house for some reason, long story short, he flipped over the chair I was sitting telling me to relax and be still, reason was he was trying to convince me I had been in a accident.... LOL, friends like that.

[@romaholcomb7768]

I passed out in the back of the wrong truck. Wound up two counties over in Mobile AL.

[@giraffesareselfish9563]

I'm actually staying in Mobile tonight as I read your post...

[@budfire1]

I had a few Road sodas with a friend one time I left my dad's house in my buddies 88 Oldsmobile for a Joyride stop to Woody's bar outside of Pocono he really wanted to see the track wound up the tunnel turn was open so we drove through wound up on the racetrack and I did a few laps

[@bigfatno]

Woody's is great! So is doing laps at Pocono in a vehicle not suited for racing on a track. I've been to Woody's and have gone around Pocono multiple times. Have you ever been to Murphy's Loft or The Tutor Inn up there?

[@j.d.cunegan302]

I was once so drunk that, after crashing at my friend's apartment that night, I got up at some ungodly hour to pee... I walked out his front door, down the short hallway outside, and peed in the bush next to the door leading into his building -- not remembering that said door automatically locked, leaving me out with no way to get back in without banging on the door and hoping someone heard.

[@gotdirt410sp]

Got so drunk I got it in the dog bowl that's called sleep drunk

[@basspro87]

Love you man!!

[@sammylacks4937]

Some things are just better left unsaid. While staying at Myrtle Beach with my Sister and Brother in law we went to Poo s and had a very large time. Came back and I went to sleep, do not remember getting up but I heard my teen daughter yelling " Daddy what are you doing" ? I was standing beside her bed watering her down. She didn't get over that for a while.

[@justinhudson1547]

I have done some pretty crazy stuff while drunk years ago like - the first time I drank I passed out on the kitchen floor. I woke up and all my buddies had piled the kitchen chairs on me. I felt like I had to puke and somebody just went in the bathroom, so I took off on all fours getting to my feet just as o got to the front door. One of my buddies beat me to the door just b4 me and slung it open...I had completely forgotten that the front door was about 6ft off the ground. So, I Superman dove from inside the house past the steps and the sidewalk and face planted in the yard and immediately started puking for a good 30 minutes. All I remember after that was I kept saying “quit spinning the light around“ it was the corner light on the house, lol. Another time I passed out floating in Lake Norman (not on a float) Once I got into the moonshine and I hate to say it, but I got emotional randomly about nothing. Then my wife made me walk around our lake house (it was 20 degrees) in nothing but my boxers until stuff wasn’t spinning. She, then thought it would be hilarious to start the shower for me (I was to drunk to check the temperature first), she just had the cold on. Needless to say, a whole bunch of words immediately poured out of my mouth, lol. I wasn’t drunk anymore. I asked her why she did that the next morning, she said,”I didn’t want you to puke in the bed”... I’m sure I’ll think of more if y’all want to message me

[@christopher5723]

Had a friend who more than had sleep walked and pissed on stuff, including into an oven once.

[@godlesslife8382]

I put a plastic pizza cutter with a slice of cheese on it in the microwave.

[@Stormynormy42]

How was it?

[@danielcooper3868]

Turns out he was out drinking with Jimmie Johnson and his buddies. Makes it even better

[@prokeds8371]

Jj is pretty lame tho. I think I'd rather hang with his tire changer.

[@bobbypaluga4346]

Try this, I had just landed after a 12 hour flight from London to Phoenix, grab.my bags and get on the elevator to recover my car from the parking garage. The doors shut then immediately opened and 5 very friendly Mexican men join me. I couldn’t understand a word they said nor did they understand English. The ringleader kept missing the floor buttons but he managed to hit the alarm. I held up fingers thinking they would tell me which floor they wanted, didn’t work. Part of the communication issue was that they were stumbling drunk. I hit 6 my floor, again, and we started moving up. One guy turns into one of the corners and starting peeing, prompting 3 others to find their own corner and I’m standing in the middle holding up my Hoffman.fabric bags so they wouldn’t get wet. It was crazy, the guy who didn’t have a corner jumped into the first one vacated as if this was a urinal line. STOP STOP didn’t work although one guy kept saying “is OK mon”. The bell rings doors open and we’re on the 6th level, BUT you know how it is when people rush into elevators when they are in a hurry before letting people get off? Two nicely dressed business ladies walk right in, I can’t get out fast enough. The smell with the doors closed had to be awful and before the ladies could react, the doors closed and the elevator started going down. I was too tired to do anything but take off my shoes and throw them as far off the parking tower as I could, find my car and get out of there.

[@peytonsayers475]

Went into a gas station to puke in the bathroom got up staggered around walked into the storage room tripped and fell through a set of steel shelves two words Four Loko lol

[@billville111]

A guy in my neighborhood went out to his truck in the morning and in the bed of his pickup was the dead guy that he had hit the night before while drunk. It's been years and he still in jail

[@eaglerider4099]

I was once so drunk... I thought ALL 4-Cylinder motors were Toyotas.

[@Bramon83]

Damnit Dale you are hilarious my guy

[@naterchips8816]

I pissed into a torpedo heater one time when I was drunk, it was cold outside and I was looking for a warm place to take a leak for some reason. Singed the carpet off right of me lol

[@williamrouse3033]

Did it vaporize or what? Now I'm curious 🤔

[@jeffreygattis850]

came back from afghanistan (USMC) infantry 8 month deployment. 2004. Auburn and Tenn were going to play each other for the SEC title. My Buddy was from knoxville and i was an Auburn fan, so we got tickets and instead of going home right after the flight from afghaistan, we drove straight to his house in Knoxville and partied. went to CottonEye Joes and got wasted. woke up the next morning at the Georgia Dome (GAMETIME) WAR EAGLE