Why you can’t feel bad for the narcissist

[@carparthero]

anyone who has been abused by a narcissist, and still feels bad for the narcissist, definitely has stockholm syndrome. 💯

[@veebliss1266]

This is how they lock us in with them! Weaponizing our empathy against us!

[@tularashi1586]

I feel bad but I left ND I can't go BAC but I be worried like wtf I'm worried bout him for now I'm so about me not fucc him🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@pearpo]

The problem in my experience is you have a choice to feel angry or feel compassion for them. Being angry is tiring. All I want is them to Cease and Desist and be free of this toxic situation. I am not on a team. I am not playing a game. I am trying to live my life. And these heinous competitive nimwit hos have destroyed the justice system.

[@kathleenknapp8953]

I absolutely do have Stockholm syndrome and I want to Live again, The narcissist mask slipped, he kicked me between my legs and he's locked up but when he's out he's coming for his stuff and thinking everything is fine, Noo it's not fine, It's Over and he's had 15 years to show me love AND I GOT EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTED, IGNORED AND ISOLATED, IT'S OVER, THANK YOU FOR THESE VIDEOS 💖

[@carparthero]

@@pearpo having compassion for any toxic person, once you know who they truly are, is like giving extra bullets to a gunshooter so they can finish you off. 🤷

[@lynsey2079]

Everything this woman says here is absolutely spot on.. Thank you so much for this, seriously needed to hear this at this moment

[@Lyrielonwind]

These people are no joke; they have push others to commit suicide and they won't ever feel bad about it. Instead, they would feel powerful committing the perfect crimen.

[@veebliss1266]

And getting away with it!!! 🎉

[@jimmymatt6228]

You can hear it in their voice when they are basically doing a celebration when they THINK they have succeeded in sabotaging you, you can hear it in the touchdown celebration tone of voice. (Under the transparent guise of justified anger tone). Only the hear them get really angry the time, tone of voice wise (EXCEPT FOR ITS ONLY REAL FRUSTRATION THIS TIME) basically all but asking, "HOW COME I HAVE NOT DESTROYED YOU QUITE YET ALREADY?!?!" (Or its counter voice version of such where they do the convoys trying to set you off with a baiting text, with pretend concern in the temperament of their speech...text wise, if you know what I mean. I just block and go NO-CONTACT right after that sort of text)

[@maried7776]

Never feel sorry for them. Liars, cheaters, thieves & mooches 🤦🏼‍♀️🥴

[@veebliss1266]

Parasites

[@richyrich4672]

Keep feeling sorry for the Narc in your life. When you have nothing left to give and your drained of all feeling and hope that Narc will just look at you and laugh as they walk out the door into the arms of another and act like they never knew you.

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

Rich, TRUE ACCURATE WORDS SPOKEN HERE. THAT My EX TOXIC NARC.

[@bradmcewen]

Insatiable lust for fresh narcissistic supply. The object constancy of a slot machine. More tokens please...

[@user-zj4yt1pl9p]

Amen Rich well said

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

Truth!

[@jimmymatt6228]

They actually have THE NERVE to ask themselves WHY "You're not like you used to be" after they destroyed you rather enthusiastically at times. At worst, take the so-called L and run away from those monsters. That moment WILL HAPPEN when you will see the mask off one too many times and you just can't take it anymore!

[@Imnotyourdoormat]

Lack of empathy traded for sympathy.....

[@suedoenim216]

40 years ago my narc dad would literally say, "You should feel bad for me," or "Don't you feel bad for me," and I neve understood what he was talking about. Man, if these videos had been around back then.

[@johnmoran7996]

I feel nothing for the narcissist.

[@naiomiwillie]

And they still don't go anywhere.🙄

[@d.b.g9216]

I did this for a long time tbh, I forgave them, I gave them chance after chance, then after one particular incident I suddenly realised the truth of them, they just weren’t a nice person, they were a liar, vindictive, spiteful and loved to know they’d upset me. From then on I changed and now I just don’t care about them or their opinion any more. Such a relief!!! I think it takes an empath a long time to realise they are dealing with a narcissist, because we can’t actually believe that they are doing these things deliberately tbh.

[@jerrygraslie2023]

I have no pity for these people. They choose to harm people, even children. The worst

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

And they are mean to animals too but only when they think no one is looking.

[@racebannon96]

They are cruel to their own children to get back at their ex. Evil creatures

[@harmonee_76]

They believe everyone OWES them worship and adoration!!

[@amandaserle3343]

They know exactly what they are doing make no mistake about it, else why do they go to such great lengths to hide the abuse of their unfortunate victim behind closed doors with no witnesses? Perfectly behaved in public and the workplace strange that isn't it? There's one thing I can't stand is a cheater and pathological liars. So glad he never actually got me and I got rid of him before he did me. Exposed him too. I'm nobody's option or object thanks very much.

[@DEADIKATED]

Feeling sorry for them has always caused me to inadvertently ruin my life and cut them breaks and when it was time to return the favor all they had for me was contempt.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Omg! Dont feel sorry for those demons

[@suskelleykelley7241]

Oh shame me for staying so long being married to a mean monster! I admit I fought back. He was happiest when I was sad and miserable and that ain't love folks! I'm so happy I got a divorce years ago. At first the peace and quiet was something foreign to me. But I love it now. I don't have a clown breathing down my neck yelling screaming and controlling me and it's pure HEAVEN

[@johnlovesbridge]

There's more to narcissism than male romantic partners in their 20s. They come in both sexes and all ages. Wait until you have to deal with 40+ narcs with decades of experience. They are harder to identify and have a PhD in plausible deniability.

[@ellylovely205]

True. The older they get, the worse they become. It's the sad truth. Prayers! 🤲👏💯🥰

[@JaeChanel116]

This video is nothing but the TRUTH! The WHOLE truth!

[@WaterNymphie]

Something that helps me, personally is to journal the objective, neutral hard facts/events/actions. Reading the list of their actions helps clear things up fast. Ignore your empathy with them, cause it is weaponized against you. Especially with the covert ones. They can speak politely, act sweet, do you favors, buy you gifts, but if you are told mean things, told lies, or they rage when you make independent choices...well that's real them...

[@doesitmatter9022]

Yes, review screenshots, videos and other facts. This combined with journaling will keep you in reality and get you out of the emotional and mental fog/torture of their scheme. Then watch for the signs in others and the moment you see them in someone, literally stay away from that person. Not worth it.

[@WaterNymphie]

@@doesitmatter9022 Thanks, good advice.

[@WaterNymphie]

@@doesitmatter9022 For Real.

[@anneyoung2310]

I'm s'over the phrase "hurt people hurt people." Everyone has been hurt, some of us pummeled to a pulp, our lives unrecognizable, utterly destroyed by narcissistic abuse, coercive control, smear, legal abuse, financial abuse and syndicated ruination. Hurt people can heal. Toxic people hurt people.

[@Kat-we5pp]

need to watch this over and over again. i always fall for it each time he comes back

[@KleeKaiBreeders]

Never fall for the devil. The devil is not in a red jumpsuit w horns and a pitchfork. Evil resides in humans. Be safe and take good care of you❤

[@DreamChuckie]

Stay Strong! 🩵

[@lovewhitey4462]

Omggggg facts ✍🏻Im 56 and when you are younger everyone is healthy ,looking good no bad event yet!! So u waste decades not knowing how horrible & demonic 👹they are and in 20-30 ‘s the drinking ,fudging documents( at jobs etc) will progress into big addictions ,bigger crimes on & on . If your blessed to have big health scare, fired , anything that will make you less Valuable to these predators it is a blessing I promise..Be strong 💪🏻 heal your childhood issues and live your life for You… Someone is either adding or Subtracting…Continue healing the masses Danielle 🗣✍🏻👏🏻👏🏻Great job ❤️

[@goldola1935]

I don't think that all narcissists went through trauma. People like me went through childhood trauma and still have self-control and composure.

[@reigndancer8560]

Thank you for this video.

[@rubybonsparkletits2323]

Feeling sorry for him and pity for him is what made me break free mentally. I am sorry that for his entire existence, he will be like that. And its definitely something to pity. And it makes me glad to be me, that i am able to heal and be happy again, and he will always have his pitiful, shallow and empty life. Not exactly sure how it works but when i feel sorry for someone being themselves, i guess it kills my attraction 😅

[@Twinkie989]

You do not have to be a caretaker of an abuser. This is exactly the energy I have brought into every dealing with Nex during my divorce, so far. I have been met with a lot of hostility from people who want to put the burden of this guy off onto me- but I won't be guilted into doing their job for them.

[@Lynn-wf3ys]

Wow. Blown away by these videos. They are so right on! Isn’t it amazing how she hits the nail on the head every time? These people are utterly predictable. It is definitely hard to come to terms with reality but come to terms with it we must.

[@afterthestorm9355]

This is so so true! Empathy and draining your emotions is their fuel. (Thus why we are supply). Make the list as Dani suggested. You will be shocked by what they have influenced for the negative.

[@AlanBoldt]

I counted 1200 days in my relationship with my now X gf covert Narcissist passive aggressive. I had ( 2 columns) one for Her abusive / Lying days and 2 nd Column for a Healthy loving day. ( 120 days were healthy n loving ) and 1080 days were of being abused..used n lied to , treated with not even minimal respect...🙏now im 400 + days Since i Told her off n Left her ...✌️😊👌

[@casperinsight3524]

They act like they are doing you favours.... When they offer, solicit or make nice gestures to your face...meanwhile they are making you wait for what they promised you, for example they invite you to move in with them as a family, then tell you they will add you to their work benefits for health & dental as common law , after months they bring home the paperwork, but the paperwork sits on the counter for weeks unfilled, then months...while they make excuses, delays, put off. Who's interests do they really have in mind ? Do they value you, your health ? Your wellbeing ? Are they saying one thing and doing the opposite ? They are deliberately making you wait for what they promised ...Why? Are they using it as leverage to get something from you in return ? Are they punishing you for whatever reason ? Do they want you dependant on them so they control the situation which leaves you in a compliant, dependant, submissive powerless position. Aren't they really just stalling ...making promises...keeping you in wait.... Meanwhile your prescriptions are on hold, your health is on hold, your dental appointments are on hold....YOU'RE on Hold. They placed you on PAUSE so you are STUCK, frozen, can't get ahead. Sooooo How does that Benefit you ???? Put a reasonable time limit on every promise and every interaction owed to you or you will be taken advantage of, mishandled, used or abused. Take your power back by getting a job with benefits, stand on your own two feet and never let others dictate or lord over you. You are in control of your life, you decide what's best for you. You need stability to stay strong, healthy and on track. Don't let others steer you wrong or derail you. Stay focused on what's in your Best Interests and Prioritize yourself first & foremost. Life is short, don't let others steal it, tarnish it, disrespect it or you. Keep your tolerance for disrespect low and stick to your boundaries like glue, when you Respect yourself that's what truly matters. If they disrespect you then they don't have a place in your life.

[@amandaserle3343]

I don't know who the hell they think they are? So glad I asked him that in my final text 6 months ago. Here's one he never got thank you God. 🙏

[@videoslibrary]

Right on ! Self-defense requires no apologies these are tricky sneaky slippery devils and we all should deal with them accordingly. Great Vid 👍

[@millyardopeacecraft9778]

Nope screw all of em

[@R.S-1986]

Dani, youre awesome. Saying thank you is an understatment. Made me smile when i wanted to cry.

[@user-zj4yt1pl9p]

I'm laughing right now because this is absolutely real and truth. I've been dooped, I wish I knew about what NARCS where. This needs to be taught in schools

[@beingpallavi3272]

Yes! I will start feeling sorry only for Self-aware Narcissistic from now!

[@wheelernathan34]

You're absolutely right on Danielle

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

Danielle, 1000% Correct. Word for Word Pound for Pound GREAT VIDEO. My Ex was always the Poor Poor Victim. Abandonment Issues from her Childhood Girlfriend who must have Dropped her like a Hot Potato. Right up until I told her I was done with her BS. After 15 Years of dating her. And I loved this Girl I think. She said your Abandoning me, your taking the Lawn mower. HELLO I'm taking a lot more then that. The last 2 years was the worst. They don't like being told the Word NO. Especially when she asked me if I was going to leave her my PENSION. SAY WHAT we were not even married Thank GOD. I was her Do Boy my Fault did everything for her it makes me SICK just saying it. I also did not know what Toxic Covert Narcissist was either. I do now. You can't save someone from them Selves and its not our job to do so. Sorry I gave all the Energy and Time to that Relationship Situation. She came along for the RIDE. Sure I got a Chicken Dinners and Taco Tuesdays and some movie nights. 15 years which direction are we headed. I'll tell you Future Faked by a PRO. By a Selfish, Insecure, Jealous, No Empathy. They take you for Granted Use you until they realize that you are catching onto there BS and that Mask Slips and you finally up out of this Nightmare because you were Hoodwinked. I Walked Away from her No Contact and Silence I SHUT IT DOWN. Before she had the chance to do it to me, She isn't going to Change knowing her she already has her next Victim Fool all lined up. She can go be someone eles PROBLEM. Oh Yeah I'll keep my Hard PENSION plus the Peace and Quiet No Rage Fits and her yelling. SCARY SHIT. Thanks Danielle. DAVID.

[@ellylovely205]

David, I understand what you are saying. But, being with someone for 15 years, and not getting married to them. Seriously?! Don't you think she was taken for granted?! Doesn't matter how Covert of a Narcissist she was/wasn't.... Still... Oh well. Wishing you all the best! No worries! Prayers! 🤲🥰

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

@@ellylovely205 relationship

[@ellylovely205]

@@davidcoppotelli3957 Eitherway, then, she is entitled for half of your pension. 🤞✌️🤲🥰

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

@@ellylovely205 Elly Lovely, she will get her own Pension when she is Eligible to get hers. Thanks for the Legal Advise. Ill keep mine and my Assets. I live a Good Life I worked hard for it. Hey Seriously. why don't you give her Call. Toxic Covert Narcissist. And a very Selfish one. Take Care.

[@ellylovely205]

@@davidcoppotelli3957 I'm just sorry for what everyone/everybody go through. Hopefully whoever comes next to your life, is someone who you must deserve and worthy of yourself. All the best! You too! Thanks! 🤞✌️🥰♥️

[@izawaniek2568]

Absolutely true! Every single word you said! Thank you ❤

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

That seems so on point Danielle. You truly are a professional on this subject.

[@persiamotorman]

I saw an author describing Noah and the flood and using it as a metaphor. He said that if we as humans don't control our minds, we will end up in a sea of ignorance. And if you look at the sins of anger, lust or whatever....in their proper place and amount, they were meant for survival, but if you totally lack any kind of self control you take them to their fullest most toxic extent. Another guy suggested renaming the Ten Commandments as the Ten Most Toxic Challenges. A Narcissist has his foot to the pedal when it comes to anything bad, and they'll take their car, and run over you and never look back because they don't care.

[@kathryngracey7993]

The narcissist will also take the targets car and run over the target...and only look back to make sure the target is suffering greatly and likely reverse the car over the target again.

[@andrewmass1414]

Years of service and they abuse as a thankful for it

[@fightswithspirits915]

Damn, Sam. Fired up in this video! 100% agree.

[@amandaob9238]

thank you your videos are so helpful!

[@matilda4406]

that's right. Something morally wrong. If not cheating then stealing, lying, etc

[@ethelbarton6668]

I dont care why its radioactive. How to detect and avoid.

[@CarolineHerchenroder-tv7qz]

Great advice

[@sheilaharris1049]

Only way get rid them haul camper away for junk can't help them is definitely correct 💯💯

[@lobsterbisque7567]

That is my ex! She wanted attention & pity. I have no sympathy for her. Her life is a dumpster fire all b/c of the choices SHE MADE: 30yrs & counting of weed & cigarettes, 25yrs of coke, 14yrs of meth, 2 bouts of homelessness(drugs both times). She's in her 3rd yr of fighting an aggressive form of lung cancer b/c she refuses to quit. Now she has 8mos. to live. Tops. I walked away after learning about narcissism, and realizing she was one as well! When all my sources told me Narcs don't change, they don't self reflect, or learn from their mistakes, I knew she was a dead end. I just walked. no warning, no explanation. My only regret is not knowing about narcissism sooner! But I got away unscathed, and that's what mattered

[@johnmaurer2035]

Professional victims.

[@nocomments5029]

I need to set this as my alarm clock

[@gracebe235]

I forgot about the 2 lists thing! Thank you! However, I think that some of the things that they screw you over on, are pretty weighty! Meaning, I think it would be more accurate to give each item a point value…good or bad…rather than just the number of items. Some things are just deal breakers all by themselves.

[@ruth.rochelle]

Damn, I appreciate you 🙏

[@AlanBoldt]

Yes.... Nothing more needs to be said. ....

[@matikramer9648]

I do trying to do so Doing for the forth time First war my mom, though I do rebelled and later on walked in her carmic shoes Then was my ex, till much late I have asked my son not to pass any information about me to my ex at all (knew about narcissism absolute 0) There was another place that I had to leave, and I walked out without ever looking back and even wanting to remember their faces and names.... But I didn't learned my lesson... And now repeating the lesson with the new information about (finally) narcissistic people, information - yes, tools 0, but a bit of my life experience.... And only starting to learn what it is "radical acceptance", "grey rocking", D. E. E. P. technic.... What is stonewaling.. At age 64 finding myself still highly vigilant, very sensitive, still highly reactive, and, what worse emotionally immature... I'm 64, have 6 kinds, 2 grandchildren , and trying to learn express my feelings and emotions, trying to parent myself - for the first time in my life... My only achievement is that I and my children did survived.... Aah, I forgot... My ex was diagnosed about 15 years ago as NPD dark tetrad.....

[@SherryONeill]

Thank you Needed This ReMinder

[@alien-iw1zj]

This is so true for workplace relationships too. I believe my boss was a narc and always guilt tripped me with the idea of abandonment/“don’t leave me!” So glad I left that job-best decision I made last year.

[@Melissa-lovinlife]

Thank you. We'll said.

[@BabyAndBee]

Thank you so much for this video, u have no idea❤

[@meanimeconingles]

I remember, me and my boyfriend (now my ex, thanks God) were walking towards my home when he saw my dad washing the car and went to have a quick chat. I saw a classmate from school around the block and went say hi and helped her go to a certain address in the block. I turned around and saw a really scary face, my boyfriend's. He literally told me: you, b1tch, you left me for her. (My dad has already left and headed inside home, otherwise he would have kicked the h3ll outta that one.

[@lenaleong4894]

Thank you

[@heatherwhitehead3743]

You are so pretty.

[@andrewmass1414]

So good. They don't repent. I was the serf.

[@zlatkajupe]

My older sister is a narcissist. That's why it's so hard. If it was a guy I would have no problem walking away. But it being my sister, it's harder because everyone keeps saying you have to work it out with family. Blood is thicker than water etc etc. But every time I give her a chance, she just proves exactly why I should cut her off. I do feel sorry for her because she's alone. However, that is her own fault. And I don't think keeping her in my life benefits me or even is good for me.

[@khagindratri6781]

only safe way I have learned to address the person with narcissistic behavior disorder is to ignore and walk away. When they are ignored, they fade away like ether in the air. Furthermore, you as an abused have saved yourself from the next, even deeper hurt in future. Find a graceful exit and walk away. Period.

[@Den-pf5wz]

Perhaps better late than never learning about Satan’s spawn aka narcissists but really had I known I may have prevent a heart attack, stressful life, failed marriage and yet another relapse crazy relationship and ran like Forest but just fell willingly into that codependent doormat please use me role. The narcissist vampire gladly sucked the financial, emotional,psychological life right out, discarded and moved on to next poor unsuspecting smuck. I now know better.

[@crownroyal2155]

Fact!

[@jacalyntaylor6721]

I'm watching my son go through this. He took back his girlfriend after she became successful because he took care of her when her boyfriend went to prison. She left for 2 years for new suppliers and moved back in with us again. My son is blind lol she abuses me if I say anything she freaks out then gets my son involved 😂 🤣 😅 🤧 I live here and try to stay away from both

[@BeckyJade]

I love Danielle so much ❤

[@jazzsoul1695]

Exactly!

[@BJBlaskovichGaming]

My narc ex gf is a liar and a cheater and used that line on me “everybody leaves me”. Well she left me, not to mention she is still legally married but dating her first bf right now who lives in Chicago.

[@dodibenabba525]

Yep!

[@tammyhantis2509]

TY

[@user-us3cb2oq9c]

I figured out it’s due feeling pity. It’s false empathy

[@wordsarealive]

my two older sisters don't feel sorry for me my father abusing me it's crazy

[@casperinsight3524]

Truthbomb 💥💣💥

[@kkey4700]

Exactly!!!

[@devinp6617]

She stole from me. I did not know until after I moved

[@allsouls5997]

The narcissist is rewarded

[@sheilaharris1049]

I let a narcissist bum live in a camper I owned he refuses to work reg

[@jodiburnett6211]

Amen❤️👍🏼

[@Amada_porDios]

☝️ I agree 💯👏🎯🎯

[@johnmaurer2035]

You can take a lion out of the jungle, but it’s still a lion.

[@heatherbowman9450]

983 likes!🌸🌺🌹🌷🌻🌴💐

[@nicholecornes1915]

Oh yeah

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

🙏🏻

[@sheilaharris1049]

He refuses work only working to do alcohol drugs lying everyday then moved his 2childrens mom in with him dog living in camper with was 2cats 1cat died I'm going have it hauled off soon weather breaks junking it not fit for pig to live in it

[@collie8]

👍👍🦁🦁

[@nicholecornes1915]

Omg why

[@nicholecornes1915]

I fucking dont