DARE Frequently Asked Questions

Barry McDonagh, Michelle Cavanaugh and Aida Beco sat down and answered the most popular FAQ's that come in for DARE and recovering from anxiety.
These are the kind of insights that just might be the very thing you need to hear to give you the breakthrough you are seeking.
Check our DARE resources:
Download the DARE app: bit.ly/3kpnNXk
Get the DARE book: bit.ly/3eF8xUU
Get the DARE Audiobook: bit.ly/3kC2rWQ
Get the DARE Toolkit: bit.ly/2TkjVfm
Get the DARE Workbook: bit.ly/2UCLYal
Join the Dare Advanced Community: bit.ly/3knASBr

[@yabadabad00000]

This should be a weekly podcast, excellent.

[@Moonlight-lo4me]

"Anxiety lives in the fight of how you feel." Well said, michelle - that describes my curent state :)

[@iRoxanneLady]

You accept and allow yourself to feel emotion towards the unpleasant feeling you have. Eg you accept and allow the fact that you are scared, and that is ok, regardless of what makes you scared ❤

[@eceaydin3984]

Question: when you are in an anxiety cycle why are mornings so bad and full of panic and negative/dark feelings but it gets better later in the day

[@anthon_no_y]

Keep these videos coming really enjoying them :)

[@joxclever]

I've just started to utilise the DARE response. I must admit, I'm struggling with "accept and allow", because I hate the feeling of panic so much. In fact, my biggest fear is not death, or danger, it's panic. If you ever do another FAQ, I'd love to know what you think about SSRIs, and Valium, and all the other little tricks the GPs like to use. Are they valid?

[@leonaco88]

This book saved me❤️ it’s so perfect in it’s simplicity. Thankyou Barry.🥰

[@lyoutube6520]

Aida is a great addition to the team. Love her personality

[@aidabeco]

Thank you so much Liam!

[@trustdoesntrust]

Words cannot express my gratitude for this video as well as DARE itself. Thank you Barry, Michelle and Aida ❤ Michelle, your drawing was so helpful. Being able to actually see on paper how anxiety lives in the resistance of the physical sensations, what if's, etc, really opened my eyes.

[@aidabeco]

Thank you Amanda ♥️ Michelle's Drawing is famous ;-) It really sums up what the core of Anxiety.

[@ldt-fd7vs]

Just these videos alone help me more than you guys know so thank you . Keep making these kinds of videos please!❤️

[@shareekhaldi]

Thanks for uploading this! Super helpful, as always.

[@Rayowag]

I know the book explains it pretty well, but what I find is lacking in many therapies is the simple act of explaining to a person how the nervous system can create physical sensations. Most therapists can't even do something as simple as explaining dpdr and that's honestly saying a lot about the psychotherapy system nowadays. It's so much easier for me to diffuse dpdr as "oh, I'm stressed and that makes my brain kind of have a delay to keep me functioning right now." than the previous "what the hell is this and where does it come from." It's obviously still terrifying if it surges, but having that explanation can make all the difference.

[@squirefields]

Very new to this whole program. Found the DARE app while looking for resources. Love the app and its already helping so much just to get me in a new mindset to finally making a change. These videos are a great companion to the program. I look forward to watching more. Thank you so much for being a life line and helping me realize im not alone or unique in this journey.

[@aubreyk.9780]

Please keep these videos coming, they’re so helpful! Thank you. With so much negativity in humanity, You guys are doing something so positive in this world & helping those who are becoming so hopeless, like me. This Especially helps when you meet the wrong therapist & psychiatrist.

[@soccerproaz12]

I needed this. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@marylang6867]

App, book and these chats are the first thing of my life that feels like freedom! Thank you so much.

[@user-fb3wy5rd1r]

I love Michelle. Makes the process easy to understand just as Dr Claire Weekes did.

[@garyhampton2378]

This video has really opened up and explained lots of what is in the book and on the app. Really clear exploration of the idea of separating fear of physical sensations and real danger has really helped me . “Running towards “ is still hard to do and any discussion/ help there would be great. Thank you for excellent videos

[@Buzzstar25]

Really love these video’s I can completely relate to them and know that Dare will work for me but really struggle with the running towards and accept and allow. I find this especially hard when it’s just feelings.

[@gromstoso]

You are the best. Aida really opened my mind from 41:00 and beyond

[@jackjo81]

Hi guys! Today as it was Sunday I had a great breakfast outing with my wife and kids And my GF! We had an amazing time! She's called "Ms Anxiety" we had such a great time together that we followed the breakfast with a drive around the city! Loved it! God 🙏 bless you Barry, Aida and Michelle! You are godsent!

[@FlamingMasamune]

This is so impactful. Thank you Barry and team

[@user-ll3es7xi4y]

Incredibly helpful!! Thank you so much for posting!

[@twillsJKZ]

This is really interesting and very difficult to implement! I’ve noticed that this is what I do when I’m in meditation, just sit with everything, complete acceptance of what is. It’s hard to stay in that meditative state all day, more practice needed I think

[@AB-le6md]

Brilliant! Not just the ideas - but the way everyone can actually explain them. Amazed that this is not mainstream medical knowledge.

[@yvainerasmus3777]

love this, am struggling with the accept and allow part. but will continue to try.

[@joeg9710]

This video really helped me understand what I need to focus on to be in control of my anxiety. I just wanted to say thank you 😊

[@Kevin-hy8ok]

Solid stuff. The ideas make a lot of sense. Love it.

[@jason0joon]

Your book saved my life dude

[@EricG7713]

Same here brother!! Stay strong!

[@freedomfighter8883]

Same, so glad I found it.

[@jpckmt]

This video is absolutely brilliant! Thank you soooo much 😊

[@robertarosado4856]

Love dare its changing my life!! I tell everyone about the dare program!!

[@1983youngbuck]

Great video from a great team

[@Sirie7206]

I’m going to get the book. My friend introduced me to the app yesterday and I’ve watched the webinars, and the conversations alone have totally changed my perspective of my Anxiety. I had a great time watching the webinars. I laughed quite a bit because of all the questions other anxiety sufferers have asked. I’ve asked the same questions.❤️😂😂😂

[@tanyabook6846]

I would like more detail on the 3rd step "Run toward". I'm struggling with that one.

[@hermantrivilino1689]

I found this very helpful. When I first read the DARE book I was skeptical because it's touted as a method that's guaranteed to work. If it's guaranteed to work, right, then why isn't every therapist using it? The therapists I've talked to never heard of it. Well, the answer is that to get it to work you have to be willing to put in a lot of hard work and have a lot of patience. It takes time. A lot of people don't want to do that. They just want to take a pill or have a therapist make the anxiety go away. Those things didn't work for me. So after awhile I read the book a second time, participated in the DARE Challenge and the DARE Toolkit. I listen to the Daily Dare every day, and I read Michelle's commentaries on the Daily Dare in the DARE App Subscribers Facebook Group every day. I'm making progress. Thanks Barry, Michelle, and Aida for making this video.

[@aidabeco]

Great to hear you are making progress. Our wish and goal is that DARE will be part of many therapists toolkit. And you are right, it takes time and patience, but it is so worth it. All the best.

[@gromstoso]

Yes! Exactly, most people are now willing to fight it, to drop the resistance or to improve their lifestyle practices(as mentioned at the end of the book on the Supercharge your Recovery part)

[@penelopewelch7581]

I think few are touted as methods as such. The trouble is that therapists, counsellors, CBT all have different ways of working and they stick with that as they are trained to do that. There are some who are familiar with DARE but before that it was 'panic away' and such therapists/gps don't spend time reading about alternative ways of dealing with anxiety. They also are rarely the ones who suffer from anxiety until it happens to them so that is not there first port of call. Both DARE and Claire Weeks have been interviewed and on utube and Claire travelled widely and several of her interviews were done in the 50's so yes, you would think 'why don't they already know this'. Partly because anxiety has many labels and suggests we are bad, mad or ill!

[@Filmatic5]

I really loved this video and the last hour long one on depersonalization and intrusive thoughts. I’ve been put on to DARE (previously Panic Away) since 2017. And even still I learned sooo much in these two videos. Even though DARE essentially works the same across the board I would video discussions in the future about the different types of anxiety. Like a step by step application of the steps during a day of facing your particular challenge. For example, mine is ergophobia (job and performance anxiety), something I don’t hear being spoken about nearly enough. Even though I’ve dared through freelance jobs before I’ve never dared through staying at a long term open ended job before. Would love to hear about your guys’ opinion on applying the DARE steps through the interview, getting the job, the anticipatory anxiety leading up to the first day, the anxiety of the day before you start, the insomnia that sets in, the beginning of the first day before you leave, taking the subway or car to the job, and then going in and getting through the first day, then the overwhelming amount of anxiety that comes back when you leave and have to face up to showing up again the next day. Etc. Etc. Thanks guys!

[@cpolizzi3]

This video should have 1,000,000 👍's

[@randynavarro6101]

Thank you guys for so much help! How about when your job is overwhelming?

[@Filmatic5]

P.S. - As someone who deleted their Facebook account I’m loving the KZbin an app content! Keep it up!

[@juliespoering3197]

DARE is Amazing! I have been working through EXTREME anxiety like so many others and this has already started to help me see anxiety for what it is! I have overall body tension and I'm now starting to see it's from years of fighting the feelings. THANK YOU!!

[@johnbaker9508]

Just after i saw this video My anxiety went Down like 85% for 4 days

[@fredrikborgvall3102]

I love the sense of humor 😊

[@aidabeco]

Anxiety is serious enough - we don't have to be, right? ;-)

[@fredrikborgvall3102]

@@aidabeco I absolutely agree Aida! You guys helps me so much with not taking anxiety so seroius and giving it a humurous approach. That means alot to me and helps me in my recovery. I’m very grateful for that! 😊👍

[@neilleverett9305]

Have lived with anxiety for over a decade and managed to to accept it and heal, but recently the pandemic has woken up my ocd and have relapsed badly with health anxiety over the last year. In past have learned to let worrying thoughts come and go in acceptance, but am seeking reasurance on a regular basis now and am stuck in limbo with fighting the extreme fatigue I feel and stomach tension. The video was educational and I will check the book/website out 👍

[@liamwilliams9338]

I know the method will always remain the same, but I would love a new version of the audio book realised and how to deal with current life situations (Pandemic) etc great work, great team.

[@aidabeco]

Liam, I dont know if you are a member of a DARE coaching program, like DARE Advanced or if you are subscribed as a premium member to the app. In the group coachings and in the app you get much more valuable information on various topics, including the current pandemic.

[@ammarali1914]

Thanks 🙏 thanks thanks thanks thank you very much

[@willianc8655]

I loved the points Aida makes at @42:00

[@Welsh35]

My anxiety/panic rises and peaks then subsides and then rises again. It can do this over and over again for hours.

[@stevenroberts3568]

I have been struggling with anxiety and in particular the physical symptoms that comes with this. The worst is the tinnitus which I never knew could also come from anxiety and stress and was looking at this as 2 separate things...anxiety and then tinnitus. I’ve been cleared by my GP so will put it under the anxiety umbrella. Aida, have your clients tinnitus gone as they’ve reduced their anxiety? Great video as well.

[@jessicawilbert6889]

Has DARE done any work with anxiety and IBS? For me, these two are inextricably linked. When I am anxious, abdominal pain and urgency occurs, making acceptance and being passive very difficult. Do you have any suggestions? I am under the care of doctors and a counselor.

[@elizabethnaborslcswiadc9805]

Wow great video clarified a lot I am a Therapist in NC originally from NY so I truly appreciate Michelle’s energy and shoot from the hip approach.... a true NYer I would like to know why there is only one representative from the USA and one representative from. EUR I have engaged some of my patients with DARE. None of them have really mastered it yet I wonder if there will ever be more representation of such a fabulous program and will there be any training for clinicians Thanks for all you do and have done Liz

[@michellecavanaughdare8657]

Hi Elizabeth! Believe it or not, as wide as our program reaches, there are only a few of us that work for DARE! I am actually the only person in the US. :) It's my goal to have a "train the trainer" program where therapists becomes certified in DARE with the possibility of on-going group supervision and collaboration not only implementing DARE, but combining this approach with others techniques such as CBT, exposure therapy, etc. Will hopefully have something created along these lines this year. :)

[@jessedwards7291]

@@michellecavanaughdare8657 Hi Michelle, DARE saved my life and I'd like to go on to help others here in New Zealand with the DARE response. I promote the the book and app wherever possible. I'm now looking at studying a bachelors degree further study to gain the appropriate qualifications to boot. I'd really like to find out more info about the training in DARE when this is established. Thanks so much for all your hard work.

[@24bytesandpieces]

I really start to understand that allowing the rush of adrenaline is more helpfull than fighting it. But one of my fears is the damage of stress to my body. I am afraid that because of the stress I wil get ill. The thing I also find quite difficult to accept is being exhausted.

[@aidabeco]

Think about it this way. If you keep resisting it, your nervous systems STAYS sensitized. If you allow the energy to be expressed, the fire burns itself off in time. And furthermore: If adrenaline rushes would harm us, humanity would have had a very short history. I want to quote Dr. Harry Barry here: "The job of your stress system is to keep you safe and alive - not to kill you. The symptoms of anxiety are uncomfortable, but not dangerous. You have my word as a doctor - this adrenaline rush will not kill you."

[@24bytesandpieces]

@@aidabeco Thank you Aida. You are a bright light!

[@puffymuffin9064]

Thank you

[@renaa3332]

I have a question about emotions? I'm doing pretty well with the derealization that I'm going through.. it's still there but I'm starting to get breaks. It's getting better day by day. But I find myself becoming very emotional and wanting to cry often... Do I just let it out and cry and accept that I'm sad right now and accept that I want to cry and do so? Fighting those emotions would be counterproductive wouldn't they? The situation itself makes me very very sad.

[@minimkreativnaradionica1870]

When you will and will you translate Dare book on ExYu languages... Serbian, Croatian...

[@UnacceptableTee]

Wow this is amazing! However; with the wine 🍷 helping some people ; it doesn’t help me if I have more than two. Then I panic something will happen when tipsy. It’s like I have to be totally alert. That’s why I don’t partake often. There’s no way I can touch drugs which is a good thing; I just can’t not be alert. This is an issue when needing to have a general anesthetic. Any tips on that ? Would imagining being there and going through a scenerio be helpful? Like practice being wheeled into operating room and just go through the feelings and feel what it will probably be like? I know of a councilor who said she wouldn’t like having to have surgery; but accept it and try not to focus on it. That hasn’t worked for me. Michelle is so right. It’s about vulnerable and not being in control and uncertainty. The fear of the fear. Oh my this is it. I guess at some point you have to give trust to someone else at times. We really aren’t totally in control of our lives anyways. Interesting the perception. If it was an acute issue; maybe it would be easier to accept 🤷🏼‍♀️. I still want to know what to do and I’ll do it lol. 😅

[@Noname-vv7ii]

When the feelings are so intense how do we accept it while still carrying on with what we are doing and trying to act normal? I think if I totally allow I will crumble and can’t do both.

[@tonima4784]

Is tinnitus a symptom of anxiety ? And does tinnitus create anexity?

[@mrc.p8423]

Two very pretty ladies

[@pattievergreen597]

I have the book - very helpful as well as the video was too.

[@muhammadraheeljaved8557]

I read the topic Depersonalization, I started to feel it. Things gone worse. I lost my mother, who remained worried about me. This word spoiled my life. Will anyone tell way out?

[@puppylover1234ish]

Be comfortable being uncomfortable.Hardest thing for me to do.

[@maebhhealy3450]

This is the best approach out there FULL STOP

[@darkuser9992]

I have a question: what is the difference between allowing and ignoring?

[@24bytesandpieces]

Barry has such a sweet face on 27: 15 :) Thank you three so much for sharing! I know there are a lot of people, like myself, who really need to be reminded how to accept how we feel and think. I also love the passion of the ladies :D

[@aidabeco]

Thank you Daniel. We are so passionate because we know that DARE works and seeing people making progress and being part of their journey is very rewarding.

[@shondrahoffman3507]

Love the videos! Wish there were more!

[@ayokunkeisreal3586]

How do I join this call ?

[@mariostampar3764]

I dont have panic attacks but i still have hard time breathing. Its that from my anxiety?

[@jeminamudgway9962]

Thanks guys 😁 great video. Going to go check put more videos now.

[@anthonyg2240]

God bless you guys for this video and all that you are doing to help us all that are suffering! I truly believe this is the right path for me. I discovered Dare about two weeks ago. I’ve been implementing it to the best of my ability and have noticed how great it works against panic attacks and making them go away quickly and not ruining my whole day. The problem I’m having the most with is the true acceptance of the sensations of not feeling like I have enough oxygen and many other sensations and overall bad thoughts. I find myself constantly going back and checking do I feel like that do I feel like that Still. It is absolutely not a conscious thought it just happens over and over again. I really appreciate this video because I think you answered a lot of questions on how to correct that. I am definitely the type of person that Michele talked about in the end of the video, who is a fighter and will do anything to get rid of this and I think that is my biggest fault. I have to stop fighting and truly accept all these bad feelings no matter how bad they feel, I know it’s the only way out. I also am a very in control person of my life, I have to be in control of my safety, I have to drive the car so on and so forth. I think that is truly part of the problem also. I have to really except and allow for this to pass. I appreciate so much what you all are doing. Please continue helping us! Thank you! The videos help so much to get me back on track and give me a new breath of hope when I am feeling defeated.

[@santafenewmexico1537]

My anxiety/panic is fine throughout the month but then my cycle comes around and somehow it triggers my ptsd and I’m sucked into the cycle again, but then it lifts and completely disappears after my woman cycle. Can anyone explain why this happens.

[@jadesecker9285]

This video was so helpful. I've followed dare for a while but this was so helpful guys thank you

[@guldolf5520]

I got a question regarding intrusive thoughts: So when the first “What if” thought pops up I defuse it with “What ever its just anxiety” or something like that. But what about the thoughts that follow right after the first thought? Do I also defuse theme? Because sometimes I feel like a bouncer who has to wait for the thoughts and then defuse them all.

[@aidabeco]

We don't defuse to stop thoughts. That is impossible. We defuse them to distance ourselves from them. Try to treat these thoughts as background noise. You could also replace "defuse" with the word "disentangle." So as soon as you realize that you're getting caught up in the thoughts, defuse them by saying, for example, "Oh, whatever anxiety, you can think whatever you want, but I'm not going to go along with you, it's boring."

[@michellecavanaughdare8657]

When you defuse, you are "defusing the fight of", not "diminishing the feeling of". Our next few videos will show each step in detail, they should be posted this week :)

[@puffymuffin9064]

I have the dare app and I hope it helps me.. It stops you from sleeping too

[@mattchew4161]

I really like Michelle she's cute as hell and blunt as hell

[@mulliahpratimah1701]

Ive started fearing of losing control in front of other people specially at work..i fear of behaving like a crazy one...shouting etc...can you help me how to tackle that...has anyone gone crazy with high anxiety and whenever they are fearing of behaving like a crazy person? Does it rilly happen...plz help me😭

[@Julie-iw3mh]

I have crippling anxiety and it was triggered by a very upsetting family matter 2 years ago and I am highly sensitized 24/7 ever since. Will DARE help me as it was brought on by a very devastating upset in my life and still unresolved so I wonder if it's possible to get better from anxiety whilst still having this upsetting situation and would a DARE coach be able to help me because they can't resolve my original upset? Any feedback or suggestions please from DARE team.

[@aidabeco]

Hi Julie, keep in mind that battling with anxiety is challenging on its own. Of course, stressful situations can exacerbate it. DARE never aims to deal with past events, as the trigger to the anxiety might be interesting to know, but is not important in order to overcome it. Anxiety is mostly a maladaptive thought and behavior pattern, and the cause of it is secondary. What is important is that your work on the maladaptive response to anxiety in the here and now.

[@Julie-iw3mh]

@@aidabeco Thank you so much for your response it's helped me understand that I can get better from anxiety even though I have an upsetting situation. I hope I can anyway it's very challenging for sure.

[@healwithsunshine]

@@Julie-iw3mh I completely understand. I wondered the same thing ☀️💛

[@healwithsunshine]

@@aidabeco I read your response several times, and I understand exactly what you’re saying, but in the video you mentioned practicing DARE and taking care of ourselves in order to avoid further sensitizing our nerves. How can/does healing take place if the stressful situation that is causing our bodies to be flooded with stress hormones is constantly present?

[@aidabeco]

​@@healwithsunshine This is not easy to answer, as it depends on a variety of factors, such as the situation itself and the resources the person has available, but there is almost always a way to improve the situation or reshape the person's view and evaluations of the situation.

[@DLM440]

Fancy vlogs by Gabi (over 3 million subscribers, over 9 million on her joint channel with her twin) has posted a video today saying your app changed her life. She said she would love to speak to the person who created the app! Check out her video she posted today.

[@chamiracampos3427]

Can we be friends? been thru panic attacks, health anxiety n GOd'smercy...GOD bless😇😇😇😇🙏

[@penelopewelch7581]

I think simplicity may be of use rather than clarification as anxiety makes it difficult to absorb what is said and trying to listen suddenly all rolls into one with no comprehension, so almost need a translation and I imagine for those unfamiliar with DARE it must be a problem.

[@aidabeco]

You are right. Simplicity is very important and a key component of DARE. The first step for people is to always read the book first. There people get all the information on the 4 DARE steps. These videos go a little bit more into depth and are centered around the most frequently asked questions people have after reading the book.

[@michellecavanaughdare8657]

We have a 4-part series that walks you through each step of DARE, it should be posted this week, hope it clarifies things for you :)

[@LencoTB]

Aida are you maybe from Bosnia? 😊

[@Danielle1988.]

Man Michelle is brutal🤣

[@carolwright9336]

I enjoy this video and listen to it very good and i know that i can recover anxiety and panick attact i feel so good for this video