INFJ & DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL: How I Survived Mine & turned Pain into Purpose

[@Wenzes]

Have you ever experienced a dark night of the soul? What was it like for you, and what did you learn from it? Share your story or questions below-I’d love to hear how you’re navigating your journey. Let’s support each other through this transformative process! 🙏✨

[@nourfattouh6547]

Happy holidays💙

[@jessmason2112]

Merry Christmas 🎄🎁. Yes, writing reading, learning (about psychology)and creative writing is extremely therapeutic.

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

Hi Wenzes - Yes I have. Mine has been on a continuum since July 2023 when I abruptly left a 15 year toxic relationship - This past year has caused me to face myself in ways that have brought me to my knees - Purging emotion and shame and guilt that I had not allowed myself to feel or had suppressed since childhood - I am not the same woman who walked out of my family home a year and half ago - I've had some the darkest days and best days during this time - But I do not regret my decision one bit - I thought it was only about leaving a toxic person/dynamic but it as about much more than that.

[@bymysense3861]

I am not sure if it was exactly the dark night of the soul but it felt like that, it was definitely a one time life experience and I am sure for one thing - I am never going back to that place 😅 and I also think I cant, it feels like you reach that point only once in life and could not go back. Fortunately! 😄 It was a few years ago when I turned 30 and in the same time I lost a love and a job. After that I went to a vacacion to Ecuador to visit my friend there for the first time and the moment I was at that country I knew I was going back there. That country touched every part of my personality so deeply and intensely that it could not lead to any other place that a complete lost of what I was at that moment. Long story short - I spent in Ecuador 7 monthd and it hitted me in my core.. the experience there was so different and deep that it touched me in my very center. And after 7 monthd there I went back to Europe to my old life 😂 And there was no life, because I have changed inside in places that could not be undone. In that moment I lost every connection with life I have at that time.. it was a very wierd place of the soul, I had never been there before. It was other kind of a rock bottom thing, it was not a usual place when you are down, I knew it was something else. I lost all the connections with life I had and I couldnt go back because the change in me was permament. And I knew that the only way how to get out of this dark place was change there. Right there where I was, I had to change, because there really was not ANY other way out. And it was not a depression, that is another thing, that place of a soul where I was was defined by nothingness.. there was NOTHING and the only way out was change there. So I let that change happen, I had to, there was no anyy other choice. And I always thought when you have only one way how to decide it is easy.. but that thing was not easy at all 😅 and I had to connect with life again from point zero after that throught my passions and what I really loved. So that was my dark night of the soul I guess 🙂And it had nothing to do with any bad thoughts and stupid decisions like you said 🙂

[@naturalPaths]

I am in one right now, but think it is getting lighter. Today I admitted to myself that my own ego was a big stumbling block with respect to a specific person who ill treated me. I let him! I don't like losing either. Today I realized that I am growing stronger because of him. I'm just loosening myself from trauma bonding - grief, pain, sadness, all of it. I am more, he is - not. Anyway, thanks for this video. It is most timely.

[@jamaiklongdee2525]

My awakening happened around July 2024. I slammed the door on my mother. She was unhealthy ISFP and throwing trantrum on others. This behavior of her caused my childhood trauma. My two older sisters left home because of my mother. On the door slam day, I thought, If I don't do something about this issue, I have to leave home as well. My fighting spirit bursted out. My cold and unyielding side of me emerged. I'm not her emotional garbage bag anymore. I threatened her if this issue didn't resolved today, I would leave the home. She broke down into tears during family gathering during this issue. I was cold and rational during that time. Her nature dimmed down significantly after that. After that day, I realize one thing. Fear is one of out aspects that holds us back from doing anything. I have unshackled most of myself from fear. I will stand for my own wellbeing both physically and mentally. I won't be anyone's emotional garbage anymore. I will protect my boundary from everyone including my family

[@jonnybright9220]

I dont talk much, but just want to say, what an inspiration you have been for me these last few years, I started an art therapy company and have my first big convention in January. You have been an incredible guide and mentor, I was pinned in a very bad spot and have learned to turn my curses into blessings. Now I have combined the two things Im passionate about and wanted to say thank you. Youre amazing and incredible, INFJ Power !!!

[@tommoss43]

So glad you’re back, you’ve always been genuine to me, always a generous teacher because you’re not afraid to learn as you go, such is life.

[@LindaChapman-u2c]

TY for addressing the importance of the Dark Night of the Soul experience. One of the things I'm passionate about in retirement after working most of 3 decades in nursing in Psych is how important those times are. It simply drives me batty that the AMA now allows front line Drs to overprescribe antidepressants to children, teens & anyone with stress who complains to their Dr. It's abuse of our souls to treat us as if a pill is the solution for every challenge, imo. They're stealing our access to soul growth to go so far medicating the population like this. TY for helping me have more compassion for my INFJ brain & personality quirks others may find too difficult.🙏❤️‍🔥🤷‍♀️❤️‍🔥👼

[@Claus1234]

It's a brutal world out there, especially for INJF's... "the dark night of the souls" was a hard but important learning for me. keep up the good videos they are important. Regards from Denmark. 😊

[@calledbythefire666]

Thanks for being your authentic self and sharing your life experiences with us. I totally preesh listening to your thought patterns... It's always nice to not feel so alone.

[@aniokay]

You will never loose your ego. A healthy ego is healthy. You just need to be aware of your ego and how it turns up and also, how it affects others.

[@sigmainfjbulgaria4478]

I think it all starts from your family environment. Your home have to be your safe fortress in order for you to grow healthy and place to teach you that you have to be good, but you never have to dry up yourself for that. You have to be surrounded by people who had understood you as a child and still understand you now. If you find yourself in a place of emptying yourself to help others it probably means that this is a culmination of a years or decades long problem.

[@lindateuling7862]

Sometimes there's more than one crisis experience in a lifetime. I have. But I also think that each one of them has helped me grow even though it hasn't been easy when it happened. I like the way you make good use out of your difficult times and help other people by sharing the insights you've gotten.

[@aniokay]

My awakening was really just healing from all the trauma from a childhood with a malignant narcissist. 6 years people....6 years in therapy, twice a month

[@marthat2975]

I’m an INFJ who has walked this exact path. I’ve never heard someone describe it so perfectly before! You might enjoy Britt Hartley’s videos on tools for walking through nihilism. Different… but adjacent.

[@patricioeb]

During my "dark" times I went to The Hague (NL), I was seeting in a beautiful park in the nearbies really f** up, swallowing my tears. A "random" elder approached and asked if I needed something, I wasn't even in the mood to speak. As he was going away he raised his hand showing a wall with a graffitti quoting, in plain english: "They took everything, even my darkest fears...". I was like 😧

[@nickolaszissimos1189]

This sounds allot like the end of my depression, which I felt like it was going to be forever. I was at a point I felt I had no purpose in life, and I hated, loathed, and despised myself and this was when I finally wanted to fight for myself. I wanted to learn human psychology and accidentally learned about MBTI in the process and started to learn them both side by side. I got myself to a point to learn that I had to make my own purpose and then realized that my purpose is to help those whom went through what I myself went through and pull them out of the same darkness that I had to pull myself out of. I too felt like I was in a hole that when I was lost in that darkness, and no one knew I was going through anything and never ever had a feeling, except possibly my mother. So your experience was similar, it sucks when you want to get out of that darkness, doesn't it? We were strong enough to pull ourselves out, not allot of others believe themselves to be that strong and thus aren't since they feel that way.

[@lenaserfaty8781]

I have never identified myself so precisely in archetypal terms as in what you describe; it brings immense relief. Thank you.

[@MrRuandewet]

You can me a professional INFJ. But without God and Jesus on your side, you will never reach your full INFJ potential without the holy spirit inside of you. This is my personal experience. We as INFJ have battles, but we can't achieve it alone. Love your videos! Keep it up!

[@jumbolumps666]

Yes, having imaginary friends is a great source of comfort!

[@howardtitman]

Get real! Imaginary friends, an endless list of deities, is not living in the moment and understanding the natural world. For example, Evangelical Christianity is simply narcissism on steroids.

[@BarelyHangingOnx369x]

Strangely, I was distant from God during this time. But it was also the time I was confronted with choosing to believe in him or not. I chose to believe!

[@BarelyHangingOnx369x]

@@jumbolumps666Who are you to dismiss someone’s spiritual beliefs? No one here is forcing you to believe or dismissing your non belief. Why do you feel you have the authority to dismiss other people’s spiritually?

[@MHpCopa]

The teachings of the Catholic Church embody the true essence of self-development, a path that blends faith with personal growth. Yet, many fail to recognize this, despite their talk of empathy, kindness, and compassion. These individuals, focused only on themselves, cannot appreciate the profound example set by the greatest INFJ-the Lord Jesus Christ and His Blessed Mother, Mary, who have already triumphed in the battle of life. Every good thing, from the laws of nations to the culture of European societies, finds its roots in the teachings of the Catholic Church. The Church's emphasis on empathy, kindness, and love for one another revolutionized the world, as these virtues were unknown in the same way before Christ. What the world now values was first revealed through the Church's doctrine, shaping both individual lives and entire civilizations.

[@ФотимахонАбдумаликова]

All of your videos that you are releasing is resonating with my situation ❤ Thanks you a lot for giving the vision of myself from outside and explain it broadly. 🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤

[@karinallard9601]

I always tried to be with "friends" that wern't even deserving to be in my life !!!!

[@professorBoulevard]

This is such a great video!

[@ahmedmohanned9994]

There's a song by Lana Del Ray called " Change " .... I found it from a list of (MBTI as LDR songs) and it was the INFJ song , really shows how this concept of the dark night of the soul feels and goes & why it is so important for us INFJs . ❤

[@Steve-of-Ukeshire]

For my dark night, it was like I jumped off a cliff into a neverending void. I knew if I faltered, I wouldn't make it back. I jumped, and I was lost to even myself for a time. Eventually, I learned that I was in my correct place ALL of the time, and I found myself not in the void but within my light. Darkness is what we see when we are not focusing on the light.

[@Scaredycat55]

Thank you for sharing this with everyone you are very original and your perspective on this is over the top Thank you for helping me I really appreciate everything you do. God Bless you and your Family

[@crystalcoby]

Thank you, this video has turned my life around

[@adatybor]

Badabooooom!!! I love your thoughts and words today! Unfortunately, the podcast listeners can't see how great your charisma is. Speaking from my own experience, I wouldn't want to do without those difficult times. I don't think the skywalks would be the way they are today without them. I realized a lot of truth for myself in the process. And also the idea that the energy you bring into the world as a human being can be relevant. This energy is unique. I'm looking forward to next year and wish you a really good one. Thank you, YOU are an enrichment for me. Red for red, so ❤️☀️

[@INFJ-Empath07]

In the INFJ world, you are a legend Wenzes, so happy you are back. Your content is the air we need to breathe.

[@Wenzes]

❤️❤️❤️

[@may-ne3bc]

Oh my, this video I’ve just watched has been in the right timing, surely God sent, Wenzes thank you for speaking for this truth in your experience. I can say that I have very much been through these intense experiences in my life. So difficult to share it out, these abstract experiences, however I think from sharing your experience, you’ve allowed so many INFJs to realise that we are not alone in going through this very real INFJ experiences for far too often in our life. Thank you again Wenzes for speaking and sharing with authenticity. God bless you and all INFJs. Love, INFJ

[@judypayne4251]

You matter! Thank you for this heartfelt truth. I can relate. When I began to be a fighter about other people’s projections dragging me down or putting me down, it was a crisis. Now I do avoid going too far for other people and hurting myself doing it. Solid pro. 😊 I realize the darkness is what will be foisted upon you without limit. We must limit it ourselves.

[@lalune323]

Dear Wenzes, so happy to see you are back and doing well. I notice that you show more of your vulnerable side in your last video’s, thank you for sharing that. It is something I really struggle with myself as I fear people will crush me or leave if I am being my introverted self. Your story of how you helped yourself and decided to help others is so inspiring ❤

[@Ergtt7491]

Im soooooo HAPPY YOU ARE TALKING about it. Bc it HELPS A LOT!

[@Name_Lessness]

A video on super empaths would be really good for this channel. I noticed when you said everyone can benefit from the dark knight of the soul, you looked down and to the left. This indicates an emotional response to the topic, meaning theirs still refinement to be done. Super Empath helped me with discernment, energy blocking and energy preservation.

[@jonahhimmel3660]

Thank for this video.

[@johnmcfetridge3974]

You would appreciate garbage in garbage out. A dark night. Inlights you. From a very depressed person. Life... its always different to you and others. When its bad I'm grateful for people like you.

[@Phoenixplaysrpgs]

So very much of what youve said n your videos resonates with me n such huge ways, I was never taught to value myself I always chose everyone else's betterment over my own n I've only learned recently and through your stuff how badly I was hurting myself and my ability to help others. Thankyou for your insights and what you do

[@BeholdIamaNewCreation]

Beautiful!

[@kathieramos4905]

Is it possible to have more than one dark night of the soul? I know for a fact 2016 was like the rug was ripped right out from underneath of me. I was trying so hard to deny the reality of what it was because the ripple effect on my children would be more than I could deal with at that time. It’s like reality split and I had to decide what to do! Crazy, I wasn’t depressed I was devastated and the betrayal was unfathomable!

[@jennacuracoa]

You make perfect sense ❤

[@crystalcoby]

Thanks

[@TonyTomahawk76]

Good to see ya making vids again, welcome back.

[@suguntoliido1461]

Happy holidays God bless us all.

[@WillfullyWondering]

It's a repetitive process, but if you're successful I guess it wouldn't happen as often. Idk, I'm always finding myself finding a new dimension of scalable awareness that eventually becomes integrated, but it's never been a singular occurrence. Tends to repeat across my timeline, but I guess it's different for everyone else 🤷. Avoidant of it now? Choosing to contain the emotional essence of the experiences and use a form of exposure therapy by repeating logical processing before allowing my emotional side find grounding helped significantly. Before? I was able to walk through a less than ideal existence, but I was young so choice wasn't really an option. With the previous relationship and the constraints introduced through the interactions that took place it significantly eroded my internal existence. I'm coming back to center and the integration of lessons learned has already begun shaping this new perception I'm currently nurturing. Your videos and concepts have been a great help as stepping stones to a more beneficial outlook. Thank you for taking the time to confront and transmute the experiences into a visceral tool to help others. Understanding how an INFJ operates has greatly improved my quality of life through introspection and reflection being reintroduced to my life. I had adapted too far from my original self that I was basically free-floating as a persona in my own psyche... Wasn't a simple task to come back, but it's definitely made easier through understanding myself better. Although, I still find myself flipping between INFJ and INFP in difficult times. Work in progress.

[@SylvesterAshcroft88]

Yep happened a couple of weeks ago, not heard it called this until now. I also did suffer ego death, otherwise it would have been more permanent, glad you're able to talk about it now.

[@NotAvailable-gl4nx]

Wow, I was just going to ask you to address this topic, and here is this video! Crazy awesome!! ❤

[@Lehiblack]

You are such a unique and beautiful wise soul #queen

[@shyamalganguly3598]

Merry Christmas to you Wenzes and everyone attached to you and your channel in some way or other! Let's enjoy the dyinnjg hours of the year 2024! Let's talk approving and enterprising to enjlighten the souls beings who needs them the most!😂🤣🙌🙌We're £ing for you

[@annebonny5104]

Thank you. Your videos and advices are very important to me. 🙏❤

[@luciana1930]

I was just thinking about this topic the other day... I enjoyed hearing your point of view.

[@derekmorcom9431]

After leaving my 8 year relationship that sounds a lot like it mirrors your experience, I dove a lot into dark night of the soul education and gave it 300% of everything I had night and day. It’s been 2 years and I’m still largely just stuck in isolation, dealing with a lot of mental issues and have lost momentum and direction in general. I’m not even sure if I’m still in my dark night of the soul anymore, or if I like…failed it if that’s possible lol. I keep trying my best, but it’s been a rough go.

[@MattTheVegan]

Much love 💚 Happy Holidays

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

@Wenzes When you started fighting back in that relationship you mentioned in the video - Did you feel he/she would retaliate given the drastic change in behavior and energy?

[@Wenzes]

@@DearYoungerSelf111 no I didn’t. Me fighting back just meant be stating my truth and cutting them out of my inner world. They did try to ridicule me at first but I didn‘t let that get me of course. It just felt ignorant on their part.

[@Natalie-lf7hb]

Victory! Great Victory! Who won? On what level and is it real? I love Victory

[@Wenzes]

@@Natalie-lf7hb the victory over one‘s own battles

[@LyraMeldy]

ugh,I did at 28. It lasted a couple od years. Many outward events happened in that time that challenged my previous lifestyle and mindset. It hit hard, I was very much lost and I had to do a lot of soul searching. I dived deep in the bottomless well of self-discovery. I emerged a whole new person, and now a lot of those events really make sense. I simply accepted myself and the fact that I must and owe myself to go it alone,without much support. Dear INFJs, never give up, we really can handle it.

[@David-i5q4g]

Hi I have been in solitude for 15years no social media or internet just studying and platos cave or the modern equivalent the matrix sounds like this that's how it felt to me

[@stevenjohns-savage7024]

Thanks wenz😊

[@momione11]

Being in it for years.Crazy.Dito.

[@flynneart1111]

Thank you

[@IbrahimShihab-v1z]

I awakend first at age 16. Then it happens many times and some of it was hell

[@RosarioTwn]

These are terms used from John of the cross awesome suffering in home prison

[@Nafshadow]

الحمد لله دائما و أبدا 😊🤲🏽 Al-Hamde li-Allah Forever

[@Machiavelli.R.Us.]

After my dark night after years of depression from numerous (all) relationships, I started getting downloads that I had no control of Like you, the dark night seemed to take me out of sheer hell and darkness to at least some light started showing up

[@mp3pio]

What's the suicide rate for INFJs?

[@Brody.W]

Thanks! JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH 😅🤣😂

[@roslyncerro1263]

I don't feel stuck. I am discerning.❣️

[@cinderling5472]

Wenzes👀👀😱 do you live here in NL?? Girl let's meet up! ❤

[@zenmama365]

❤

[@MHpCopa]

The teachings of the Catholic Church embody the true essence of self-development, a path that blends faith with personal growth. Yet, many fail to recognize this, despite their talk of empathy, kindness, and compassion. These individuals, focused only on themselves, cannot appreciate the profound example set by the greatest INFJ-the Lord Jesus Christ and His Blessed Mother, Mary, who have already triumphed in the battle of life. Every good thing, from the laws of nations to the culture of European societies, finds its roots in the teachings of the Catholic Church. The Church's emphasis on empathy, kindness, and love for one another revolutionized the world, as these virtues were unknown in the same way before Christ. What the world now values was first revealed through the Church's doctrine, shaping both individual lives and entire civilizations. The proof of this is the fact that you can't find a single error in what the church teaches .

[@fanaticist]

nice fantasy. Europe is pagan Rome.

[@espressocoffeeshine4346]

Have you ever read "Dark Night of the Soul" by St. John of the Cross? I was door slammed and ghosted by God the Father Son and Holy Ghost as well as all the saints except St. Jude!

[@Dragonmann23]

Black obsidian necklace?

[@fanaticist]

black pearls

[@Dragonmann23]

@ sweet still looks like black Obsidian to me. But still sweet!

[@syedanargis616]

I missed u❤

[@ElwoodOddfogs]

Do you incorporate the wisdom of the Enneagram to any degree, dear lady?

[@ElwoodOddfogs]

I hear you describing the Type 2 ego archetype quite lucidly.

[@flynneart1111]

Purpose jworg

[@daniellee8565]

I've been in the dark night of the soul for over 30 years and have no idea when it will come to an end.

[@dog_is_vip]

everything you believe might crumble if you read the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki

[@savioartwork]

Please tell us about it

[@piyushmer8818]

they don’t want you to read the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki because it sets you free

[@miriyoussefxx]

More and more people are talking about it. I am starting to think it's a global thing. Many people are awakening.

[@Kelbelle-gt3dl]

✨🕯️🌀💫✨

[@akshay5432]

the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki is what everyone avoids because it’s too real

[@havencallaway6688]

I had 2 I think the last one I was more aware of what was happening and chose to go through so it was easier for a lack of better words after that life just started unfolding for me and got easier it's even about 4 years and I couldn't have imagined being where I am grateful and growing more every day the dark on the light are one that helped me get through rembering there is light 8n the dark and vice versa

[@R.S-1986]

"Mid-life ‘crisis’ is based on your outlook on life and how you approach changes in your life. It is not necessarily a ‘crisis’ unless you are judging it as bad. About 2/3 - 1/3 of folks actually are moved to make a change in their life somewhere close to what may be considered ‘mid’. Sometimes it is made more apparent by a close one’s death or an illness, or just finally deciding that life is short and you are not willing to put up with the same old BS." You're a phenix after being "reborn" and shedding off old beliefs. A cool new name is a marketing strategy 😅 😎.

[@miriyoussefxx]

My dark night started in 2014 as well 😅. The coincidence !!!

[@Brody.W]

Jesus Christ of Nazareth 😅🤣😂

[@MayankSisodiya-xy4vt]

the truth feels dangerous, and that’s why the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki is ignored

[@shahinnadaf2370]

society would change overnight if more people read the book Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki

[@dhamon-pi6os]

Didn't expect this topic from you. Interesting 😊 if ur life is so meaningless, why are Romany people interested in it is a question to ask