Dark Triad and Sexual Fantasies | Narcissism, Psychopathy, Machiavellianism

[@entityrocknrolla]

It amazes me that this kind of video, one which has the most definitive, well delivered and educationally concise has lesser view than some of the other channels dish out with very little insight but basically peddling on shallow information (not all of them but the majority). Thank you very much Dr and appreciate your effort to make your videos one of the best on the subject.

[@mommyput]

It took me until today to finally watch this because I wasn't ready to go there in my mind because I thought it would be too triggering. Some topics are too disturbing or maybe hit too close to home so that may be why this one has fewer views. EMDR has helped me be able to see my experience from a more detached perspective so watching this now was fine and didn't trigger me.

[@hyperplasmicsurprises6013]

@@mommyput I am glad that you have found relief 😃! As for me,not so much,but I lit up on inside to finally see someone got assistance in healing! Yay! God bless you and your new life! Huge hugs!

[@titustitus8365]

I will explain to you in one word: brainlets.

[@hannahkoeczko9782]

Indeed 👏

[@candicebarnard1039]

Agreed. Dr Todd and Dr Phil are by far more descriptive, informative, thorough and knowledgeable about narcissism and it's forms than any other I've come across on the internet.

[@madmanmikey]

Him: Why do you go out with that sadist? Her: Beats me.

[@auntiemsplace]

oooh, OUCH!

[@fin183]

brilliant.

[@semperfi818]

Reminds me of another, similar classic: "Whip me," said the masochist; "No," said the sadist.

[@fin183]

@@semperfi818 haha brilliant.

[@gino9094]

HAAAAAAA, buh-dum-tss!

[@FivesEyes]

Content A+. Level of professionalism A+. Dr. Todd Grande....unmeasurably informative and entertaining!

[@DrGrande]

Thank you so much!

[@numbersletters2920]

@@DrGrande i think your reliable phycholgist.am i right full of vocabulary.

[@enigmag9538]

@@anjou6497 hahaha! I hear you, it's hard to resist.

[@lydiam9323]

My narcissist ex could not stand the thought of another man touching me but he would always fantasize about a bunch of men gang banging me. How bizzare

[@schr4nz]

Are you saying you didn't think about it? ... sorry, bad joke... but seriously...

[@lydiam9323]

schr4nz no that’s not for me and I loved him like an idiot

[@Laid2Sleep]

Salomé Baptist Smith he sounds like a lot of women.

[@natalieboult4726]

James D Robertson only to the narcissistic, immature and malicious

[@mc2332]

Mines wanted me to fully participate in gangbangs, bukkake parties, dogging, sex cinemas, sex with animals the disgusting list continues but God forbid I speak to another man when he wasn't there whilst he was out doing the most disgusting despicable things a person can think of and one of them included drugging and raping me repeatedly. I never did any of the others and the drug/rape I wasn't aware of until I was. I actually think this is why he ended up doing that because I wouldn't participate and act how he wanted. Nice huh you set boundaries and get raped for it. He always thought he was some sex God too. I have no idea why people say sex with a narc type person is the best, it's the worst I've ever had. I haven't been with another person since him because of his behavior.

[@Portia620]

Mine was cheating and when I mentioned open relationship or swinging ( I started watching a TV show on swinging) he became super nervous!!! he didn’t even like my yoga pants and it was OK for him to do things behind my back and deny them but it was not OK it’s even I looked at someone else! I didn’t want anyone else but him, and now I don’t even understand why, because he was a fake I had to mourn the death of someone that didn’t exist! These people are cons, and they will rob you of your time, money, mental health, physical health, spiritual health, and anything that you only I’ll try to get along with family and friends and turn them against you. My advice is to run and run fast. This can be a man or a woman!!! Don’t be confused with the guy is a good guy and such an amazing hard worker and such the guy that you’ve always want to but he wasn’t really that great looking so you give them a chance and you fall in love with him and then find out they were lying and pretending the whole time to use you. Well, they’ll help you out every once in a while in the house the majority of everything eventually falls on your hands and they’re off screw and other women and having a great time while you’re taking care of the house and everything else. The excuses they’re working maybe they’re flying to other places, but guess what they’re not really they have a girlfriend in town far away from you.!!! 🤢🤢. Stay away from vultures! Run!!!

[@BrittanySteiner]

Big facts right there

[@LuvGodLuvPpl]

Keep these types of videos coming the dark triad is very interesting !

[@jaxongillespie6618]

I have it I think

[@meeemeee8577]

@Ange Lom you're right! It sounds super scary, but it's so interesting to get to know these things. Usually we go through live thinking that people are fundamentally good, and I think they really are, but to look at people that really deviate from that a lot is interesting.

[@numbersletters2920]

@Ange Lom even when hell is mathematics so hell is Scientific and heaven is Scientific and heaven is mathematics Scientific and mathematics is Earthly sure is so .think about it just Because you call it hell it is still Scientific and deeply influence by mathematics.

[@ENFPerspectives]

@@numbersletters2920 what you said makes no sense. Anything good can be twisted to be evil... if someone is evil minded.

[@timg6176]

@@jaxongillespie6618 you don't. The DarkTriad individual is high functioning. They don't think, they know.

[@alphacentauri8083]

I knew this individual with overlapping Machiavellian, Narcissistic, and Psychopath traits who was really big into sharing his wives (past and current) while he watched. Once in a while is understandable, but this clown was obsessed about it and managed to cajole his partners into fulfilling his fantasies with manipulative tactics. He was extremely charming and articulate, although his eyes and expression reminded me a bit of a lifeless doll. He could see right through you while projecting a fearless, dark energy.

[@hyperplasmicsurprises6013]

Yeah, definitely a psychopath! I'm so sorry that you had to even know that! Sending you a big warm hug

[@janicesummers0417]

That is called “evil”!

[@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837]

The revenge against authorities issue is something other than psychopathy in my personal view because a deeply caring person can feel outraged against authority figures because of how the authority figures abused their authoritarian leverage positions. Dr. Lawrence Kohlberg talked about this when he established the 6 levels of moral reasoning. The highest level the 6th or even 7th level implies a person doing Anything to rescue a living being in need of rescuing regardless of authorities and laws that might stand against that action. Those types of scenarios are discussed by Dr. Peter Singer and Steven M. Wise. The subject ethics also touches on what Dr. David Benatar talks about. I highly recommend to people to read those people's books.

[@jackwilson1818]

I think you're forgetting who writes the DSM book. Of course "the powers that be" (the ruling class) seeks to demonize anyone who challenges their authority. Even when their authority is gained by ruse/fraud and media deception (fake news), the authorities don't want to be challenged. Thus anyone who challenges them is labeled/smeared. This discourages resistance and encourages compliance with government, regardless of how it stays in power and how it abuses the populace. Also, by the "don't take revenge on authority" standard, all the USA founding fathers who signed the Declaration of Independence would be (unfairly) labeled "Psychopaths" because they rebelled against England which was the AUTHORITY of that era.

[@jr8573]

Jack Wilson You’re wrong. Human nature is constant. You need to understand that dark traids aren’t inherently bad. Remember that. I’ll say it again. Dark traids ARENT inherently bad in nature. Only with actions that society deem anti social.

[@jr8573]

Jack Wilson with that in mind. Rebelling against authority is a type of dark traid but depending on context can clearly be seen as a good thing as time progresses. Always see both sides. Being a narcissist, psychopath or Machiavellian doesnt mean you’re a “bad” person. We’re all complex human beings. Don’t forget that. We’re all human beings.

[@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837]

@@jackwilson1818 Yes I agree.

[@nickidaisyreddwoodd5837]

@@jr8573 I'm always looking at things from the sky perspective. I know that people have their childhood trauma.

[@cosmiqshy8941]

Dr. Grande, I hope at the end of each day you get to have a nice, relaxing decompression break from the madness of humanity. This stuff is deep. 🙏🏻🌷

[@gabrielag9538]

Can you talk about the "vulnerable narcissism " types?

[@TheCuriousBunny]

Convert narcissists

[@maidenmarian1]

Yes this is another masterpiece Dr. Grande, as someone mentioned below. Thank you so much!

[@mikemike8623]

5:00 gets to the point

[@wbooker5723]

Interesting. Thank you Dr. Todd. I had an experience with a person who had many of these traits. I became frightened very quickly.

[@kungfujoe2136]

when you dont have empathy you tend to get bored and you try to puch the envelop or play games to entertain yourself

[@FivesEyes]

Yes, especially when you combine lack of empathy with thrill-seeking and increased need for stimulation. This, theoretically, leads to antisocial stimulative behaviors.

[@kungfujoe2136]

@@FivesEyes practicly as well

[@mandyporras07]

Jesse self.

[@sarawrnr]

@N Silva While a LD could lead to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, it can also lead to greater empathy with others who have disabilities or suffering.

[@XXXXXX-we4hg]

Yes,my ex is narcissist and he plays games all the time when he's bored!!!

[@sylwiaprzezw7581]

It is interesting to hear that sex for a narcissist is to connect but only for fulfilling their ego needs not a romantic purpose....It would good to use a more descriptive comparison for that purpose, how does it show to be different for the two in an intimate situation...

[@symkoko1776]

this is literally the best channel on youtube!

[@mingo2024]

The things my ex wanted me to do finally crossed the line and I had to leave. I told him if he likes being degraded, that's on him. I don't like it. Good luck to whoever he ended up with.

[@FrogEnjoyer17]

I always feel so called out when you talk about machivellianism, it’s almost frightening

[@anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788]

Starts minute 4:56 if you already know the definitions for the dark triad.

[@Mlpgirl168]

very interesting. I have scored very high on machiavellianism but low on narcissism and psychopathy. I have often wondered what this means. I am also the personality type INTJ and was raised by a parent who was (and still is) a grandiose narcissist. so, I conclude I am just a strategic, rational thinker.

[@mysteryjunkie9808]

I'm a ENTJ and I think they check alot of boxes for being a Machiavellian wonder if it'd the NTJ combination that does it.

[@Mlpgirl168]

yes, u guys r on to something!!

[@wendybeach1036]

@@mysteryjunkie9808 Me too

[@timg6176]

I'm also a INTJ, I'm diagnosed as a high functioning psychopath. I have the DarkTriad as well. Scored highest in Machiavellianism, mid range for psychopathy. Narcissism was very low but still present. Btw Pro Tip, don't take those online tests and assume they are accurate. They are in fact trash. For starters the questions are obvious. Anyone with a IQ over 80 would know how to answer to get the desired results. Further more those that are Poser's, claiming to be the DarkTriad and are not. Just know there's nobody I would rather kill than you. Cheers!!

[@StackAtaack]

Same

[@iamthetwowolvesinsideyou9357]

I agree with your input about Machiavellianism being outdated and superfluous in modern psych. I do have some counterpoint: - In the study cited, 70% of the participants were female identified yet the male participants seemed to report more sexually deviant desires. I think it's important to note here that women (especially young women) are conditioned from an early age to suppress their sexual expression whereas the opposite can be said for young men in our culture.

[@margaretjohnson6259]

Dorian Cassidy. thank you. women do have their sexuality repressed from a young age all the way through their lives. a man can have 20 sex partners and no one bats an eye, but if a woman has more than two or three she's considered a slut. i don't care what people think; i had a good time.

[@anarki777]

I disagree. The study was about sexual fantasies. What women might do and what they might fantasise about are two different things.

[@wendyleeconnelly2939]

@@anarki777 but the social conditioning might influence what they admit to thinking about. or even what they allow themselves to think about

[@anarki777]

@@wendyleeconnelly2939 - What a load of horseshit.

[@pantsenfuego9986]

Young males may have any and all fantasies but young females have much more real sex. Some teenage males have dirty thoughts. Some teenage females have illegitimate babies. choose the deviant.

[@koreenalaw8644]

Your videos are incredibly interesting.. love them !!

[@n.h.3769]

Could you possibly do a video discussing touch starvation and touch aversion and if one leads to the other. And thank you for your videos.

[@miminewmoon8187]

I too would love to hear about them too....its happening here for years- touch aversions and starvation in the other😥

[@joesoap8125]

Touch starvation. Giving out crumbs. Time to move on

[@HYPMaeLsTRom]

I would be interested in you doing a video over sexual fantasies in relation to BPD. I've read a couple studies before so if I can find them I will link them in a bit :)

[@lanasa265]

HYP1142 MaeLsTRom44 great idea. I’m interested too

[@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091]

My guess (or projection) as a borderline (and who knows at least one other, a female) is much of it involves cuckolding, exhibitionism, voyeurism, ie fantasies that involve some distance or level of ambivalence in terms of actually 'possessing' the object of affection. On a Freudian level, scenarios that reflect a broken bond with Mom or Dad....or both.. but a bond nonetheless.

[@anonymerbenutzer5574]

The Queen in that Understanding the Borderline Mother is the Dark Triad subtype of BPD.

[@miminewmoon8187]

@@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091 where can I learn more about fantasies of apd or npd....

[@timg6176]

Bpd woman have rape fantasies.. The end.

[@willotoole5900]

Dr. Grande, I greatly appreciate all the work you put into your videos. I always find them to be informative and really enjoy the data driven component of your presentation. What search engines do you typically employ in your literature research?

[@peggygenoway]

Interesting. I think the study group may have been not the most ideal though.

[@SK_TorON]

Just like you said, Machiavellianism does not seem to be a distinct trait. I wonder why it was even introduced, given that narcissism and psychopathy already provided enough variety to explain what basically is a crafty political, or workplace, schemer?

[@DrGrande]

Maybe Dark Dyad did not have the same ring to it :)

[@anonymerbenutzer5574]

N Silva Marjorie Diehl Armstrong had a variant of this with the boost of psychotic bipolar disorder to compliment her evil

[@mysteryjunkie9808]

A Machevillian would want you to think that they don't exist just remember that before you say they aren't distinct.

[@djanitatiana]

Perhaps obtaining willing female partners becomes easier with Machiavellianism given the gender imbalance towards males.

[@natalieboult4726]

bad mojo please explain how gender is biased towards male.. it’s mostly men that are sexually deviant and agressive

[@mrpopsful]

Little confused why Machiavellianism is part of the trio, and after I read The Prince in high school, I was confused why Machiavellian 'goals' would be automatically considered negative. Maybe I need to read it again, but people make it sound like it was written by a dictator.

[@thriftyfreebies]

It was written _about_ Cesare Borgia, wasn’t it?

[@Emanuel10348]

Bc machiavellian people lack cousciones to regret taking advantage and manipulating others into their benefits, this trait alone can cause colateral damage bc of their ambitions. But imo its a good trait to have if u want to be sucesfull but for the people arround u would be hell

[@graceditchfield123]

Those people do that because they know they can get away .!!!!! What can be done to put some laws in place ??

[@davidsonmg]

All I got out of this is that I'm normal!

[@ValleyMyStar]

😂♥️

[@shereses.3298]

My last relationship, I was with a Machiavellian....I've often attracted men with high narcissistic traits due to trauma bonding (my birth mom is a narc). Well, since my exposer to so many personalities that fall on the dark triad, with probably the least exposer to psychopathy (because that's the most severe). I can honestly say that dealing with a Machiavellian was actually much more difficult than dealing with a Narc. They are probably the most callous people in the world next to psychopathy, yet they still have a charm and a drive that is very appealing. The sexual experience with him was astronomical, but he was community P**** and often tried to push my boundaries sexually past my point of comfortability (often shut him down because I have Boundaries). I tried to make it work, but realized I could not after doing more research based on the fact that they have low EI and have a disdain for intimacy. One of the scariest, toughest experience I've endured. But as a recovering fearful-avoidant, I was often 10 steps ahead of him so I caught him completely off guard when I left 😁

[@AgustinaNaldiSenk]

This type of videos are helping me realize that my "pseudo-boyfriend" is Narcissistic. His fantasies include intimate, exploratory and sadomasochism.

[@20somethingcimena]

Actually the worst part of these videos is that people use them to be armchair psychologists and diagnose people. If he's toxic cut him off. But stop diagnosing people.

[@alicesmith7913]

I know they some sick ass folks out here in the World. Some ppl think having a partner/spouse, means they then have someone to use as a breathing blow-up doll. They try to force their idenity onto you and make you a reflection of them.

[@haylswaters5713]

So true x

[@honeydrip1962]

That is true

[@srmillard]

Why are we using the term "narcissism" (even at a non-pathological level) as something associated with desire for social approval? Isn't approval from others natural?

[@DrGrande]

Seeking approval from others is normal,. Narcissism, however, refers to more than just a need for admiration. There is also arrogance, envy, a sense of entitlement, etc. Even still, subclinical narcissism is becoming normal as well (it is on the rise).

[@mamabear-9.18.18]

@@DrGrande.... Hello Dr. Grande! I Love, love, love your videos! Thank you so much, you've helped me get a much better understanding on the "cube - like - matrix" I was raised in (mother being a covert narcissist and my father being an extremely overt narcissist, to the extent of sexualizing his own daughter, me, and never treating me as a daughter. Even at times using the repeative phrase "You're a much better wife than your own mother ever was"..... sick, sick, sick!) My question is, since you said that subclinical narcissism is on the rise, do you think that this is due to the increased usage in social media, the competitive pressures placed on people who have an addiction to social media and the societal pressures placed on the usage of social media??? (ex. most TV shows always say you can follow us on blah, blah, blah to get more information on blah, blah, blah) I've noticed that when I stopped using social media, I felt a lift of something come off me and more time to dedicate to what I feel the most important thing in life is, my family & more importantly, my daughter and spending present awake & aware time with them.

[@banhammer3904]

No, desiring admiration is not typical. We generally desire and accept praise from people that we respect. I don't think narcissism is "on the rise" as much as it is being discussed more. I was accused of being of narcissist as if it's now an insult. It's been weaponized whether it's a real thing or not. I doubt that it's real like most psychological labels.

[@fuadkhan2571]

@@DrGrande Maybe it persists because society in general, and Western society in particular, prepares and programs individuals, especially males, to be narcissistic and psychopathic and actively rewards it? The people in the highest echelons of the government and elsewhere belong to this type and have incredible success with women and thus in propagating the gene. This cut-throat, self-loving philosophy starts with basic school education and only gets rewarded and reinforced even more strongly as the individual struggles to climb the ladder of corporate success and status in the yes of people.

[@rashadpreston7389]

@@fuadkhan2571 I partially agreed. But I'm telling you the amount of female narcs is bizarre and they are very discreet about how they are.

[@dorenetobatto4527]

I'd hope to hear back about the conclusion on the best choice in a relationship regarding a good friendship before it can fully develops into a sexual one and of course being so comfortable with each other that the nesting place where just cuddling is like a private language that no-one else speaks,even when words aren't necessary. But so many men say that they cannot be just friends with a woman that I wonder, is this just a way of sparing a woman's feelings because he isn't attracted to her and knows that this is a siren fire way to run her off, or to test her boundaries and watch how fast she ends up running away or jumping the gun. Depending on trust issues on both halves no matter how we hope to be forth coming, ,games often come into play even on a subconscious level. I have to say that there are many women who prefer gentle men who are brave and intelligent enough to choose a sweet heart of a man over the tough guy, but men are so pressured into being the protector , society upbringing and cruel brain washing, I understand the origins, but more and more women love to protect their male loved ones

[@ginagray8040]

Fascinating video Dr. Grande. I often wonder if we are all on a spectrum of different personality traits.

[@PrivateAckbar]

I recently worked with a malignant narcissist who also had some kind of mood disorder. It was horrendous on everyone. On the second day some provocatively dressed young teen girls came into the store and asked to see him, and it was clear that he was grooming them. It made me think back to a radio show I used to listen to where one of the hosts "Opie" was severely narcissistic. He was always insecure, shy & hurtful towards women in the studio, but I remember in a rare moment of openness he once mentioned a pathetic fantasy about one day having his kid invite teen girlfriends to run round his home naked. It gave me the impression that a constellation of factors probably make narcissists & psychopaths more prone to paedophilia: the emotional lack of development, lack of empathy, impulsivity, criminality, entitlement, the destroyed social life etc

[@beautybaby4660]

Oh I agree 100% about narcissists/psychopaths being more prone to paedophilia

[@peterbennett2655]

Except in this instance, this would clearly not be Paedophilia - since that is by very definition an attraction to pre-pubescents. How many pre-pubescent teenagers have you ever come across??! (Mmmm, perhaps I should rephrase that...😂😂😂)

[@sarahalderman3126]

You’re literally just describing men at large…

[@funicon3689]

@@sarahalderman3126yes a lot of modern psychology is just pathologizing normal male behavior and views

[@sarahalderman3126]

@@peterbennett2655 no pedophilia is the attraction to one outside your specific age range. So this being an older male with a teenage child, it is most definitely pedophilia.

[@SuddenExistentialDismissal]

Machiavellianism can be best understood in politics. McConnell is a Machiavellian. Text book case.

[@jamessimon3433]

Dr Grande, I often read that when a person starts to associate sexual pleasure with extreme acts of violence and cruelty against their partner, is this something that's relevant in practice or is it a convenient way for society to shift blame off the offender . I often here this, particularly when describing serial killers or the like. If so is it understood what pushes someone from conventional behaviors to violent ones.

[@mr.t658]

There isn't much difference between fucking a woman and killing a woman

[@rhondabaileyyy]

It makes sense that individuals with narcissism would fall into the intimate sexual fantasy to meet their need to connect.

[@veronicabetz9452]

This video is very informative and possibly explains the behavior of one of my acquaintances.

[@jeffreyhawthornegoines8727]

The doctor, of course, knows better, but I always surprised that there is a difference in numbers for men and women. The most dangerous and callous person I ever encountered was a woman, who fulfilled the dark triad with power. Having learned from my experience, I have met other persons' whose behavior was nefarious, and both genders, in my own experience, were represented equally. The Lucrezia Borgia of this world certainly hold the candle as much as the men

[@CarolH2O]

Ok I know why I'm bpd...it's bc I got two opposing messages from two men of central authority in my life as a 12-13yr old...this confused me to the point where I'm now so confused about sex and what is ok and what is not, that I have for yrs not had sex due to touch aversion sexual in nature. However affection I would welcome, and that is what is needed so badly in my life.

[@thenarcissistsscapegoat5091]

I'm bpd too. I got zero messages about sex as I recently found out because my father was a closet gay pedophile and mother was a closet lesbian so what could they have taught my brother and I? I don't know if it was the cause but my opposing messages were as follows: (a) my father the psychopath would tell me not to care about what people think, do whatever Ii feel i need to do irregardless of consequences, look after #1 vs (b) my mother the narcissist who's message was to dress properly, keep my posture perfect, don't use rude language, nobody will approve of me unless I present well, etc. Father taught me not to care, be a psychopathic asshole if thats what it takes, Mother taught me to care too much because my success depends on what others think of me. My problem with sex has always been I can't and won't unless I feel or confabulate (ie lie to myself!!) an emotion connection... once passed that I get instantly addicted (ie attachment disorder!) and turn into a sex maniac who needs it 3-5 times per day from her (ie abandonment issues!)... so I take 3-5 years between sexual relationships because they drive me and especially her completely crazy. Remember Fatal Attraction? I'm exactly like that chick!

[@CarolH2O]

Oh my god, I don't remember this post AT ALL!!! Did I really post this?? Because I'm feeling very panicky right now, it's hard to process this

[@christineplaton3048]

According to one of my wild neighbors, drugs are involved with these negative behaviors. She's self medicating with vodka from her misery and distress, and is shocking to speak with. She's gone through alot of counsellors... it's impossible to help her.

[@IlaryG]

Mine was another of them, I recognize him in psichopatic macchiavellic narcissistic behaviour. He had promiscuos love swapping behaviours. I felt so disturbed with him, he tried to push me to this, I resisted to his requests and he has done everithing to destroy me

[@anonymerbenutzer5574]

I'm a bisexual bipolar guy and psychopaths have been some of the best friends with benefits.

[@miminewmoon8187]

Hi. Do you mind telling me more about the friendships?☺

[@oxxy6678]

Idk if I'm a psycho but messing around with gay dudes is always a good ego boost, usually just lead them on though

[@onelife7247]

Some of this ties in with what we understand about the fetishisation of black /asian women by SOME (not all obviously), caucasian men who fall into the traits you’ve covered.

[@rekietabeatslc9980]

Covert Narc = Dark Triad then, as Ross Rosenberg described the former as NPD w ASPD traits (to a tee I might add.)

[@lashend]

Oh, the Dark Triad! That must be the unifying character trait among Psychiatrists. You’ve captured it perfectly.

[@andreareid8484]

Dr a pleasure to listen to your interesting tops as an advocate for the sick I come across many people today suffering from many of the subjects you highlight it is a pleasure to listen to your intelegent presentation of many of underlying sickness that plague society today3 thank you for your inpout

[@qwertzuiop1978]

I've had sadistic fantasies since before I even knew what sex is. I remember fantasizing that my fingers are humans attached to my hand (meaning there is no escaping for them) and that I am doing all kinds of painful stuff to them. This was when I was in kindergarten. Later in middle school we were learning about inquisition. There were some pictures of torture machines in our school books. I remember fantasizing about applying those to some pretty girls in my class (I am a dude btw). Now, even though I do have some psychopathic traits they are not of the extreme kind. I still can feel emotions. So I'm not actually full blown psychopath, although I'm high on that scale.

[@Slayer3264]

Ayy, bro. Similar story here, though I'm into guys. My sexuality basically consists of aggression and violence, "normal" stuff doesn't even get me hard. I basically can't find someone sexually attractive if he's not capable of abuse, cause I know he won't be able to satisfy me otherwise. I've suspected that I may be highly psychopathic as well, not that it makes any difference. Glad to see a sadist out here though, love the attitude ;)

[@qwertzuiop1978]

@paisleyyama Not at all. I actually had better childhood than most kids. Loving parents (maybe slightly overprotective), middle class; lot of friends from the early age etc. I was trying to find the cause for this trait in some events from my childhood, but i really can't point my finger to anything. I guess it is inborn

[@qwertzuiop1978]

@paisleyyama Well, i have no idea whether my siblings, or anyone related to me have these types of fantasies since I don't talk to them about these stuff. Secondly, I don't remember seeing sadistic material at young age. But it's possible that i did

[@nios7700]

@@qwertzuiop1978hey i find this interesting and ihave some questions are you charming? have you lost faith in humanity? do you really trust anyone? do you really care about anyone?

[@ABar83376]

I think we all get thoughts that are absolutely outrageous at points in our lives. Doesn't mean you are crazy or have mental issues. With cluster b personalities they are just more likely to act on those impulses. They have very little self control.

[@SandraMuller-vs8ck]

Education is vital in every aspect of well-being. Thank you very much for this explanation. God bless, ❤

[@TRA]

Please make a video on exhibitionism

[@mikecole1664]

Jeeze...right before bedtime. Sweet dreams 🙄

[@th3b0yg]

Do licensed medical health professionals have better than average outcomes in their personal relationships? E.g. lower divorce rates? Other metrics relating to relationship health, happiness, durability?

[@buyerbware25]

NO. Better than average outcomes as well as overall happiness , according to Western research, are linked to religion, community involvement, and traditional family values.

[@dorenetobatto4527]

Thank you Dr.Grande,many doctors skirt around theses discussions and never get to the point. Between this and the "bad boy" video,it brought up many memories.They all seem to be so tightly braided together that only depending on the man I was involved with and the degree of how honest we could be was the one clear way to simplify a sexual experience

[@ennvee1970]

This one ,to me was more difficult to understand but I believe you said that psychopathy may be considered to play a large role in recognizing and identifying certain disorders (common denominator)?🤔

[@silviacaptan1300]

Very interesting video. The human behaviour is so difficult to understand.

[@jamesheady7216]

Thanks for this video, it was really interesting! I wonder where Ian Watkins would fall on this scale?

[@johnpomeroy8602]

My ex is someone that needs to be studied. She has all the forms of narcissism is that even possible? She was dark when sex was involved and I would probably get in trouble for writing it on here but she uses her sex appeal and money when she has it and every time she has a bad day she calls me in front of dude and does the same thing she did to me and it's ridiculous

[@rando42069]

I forget if Dr. Grande has commented on this, but this video reminds me. Could you do a video examining a possible link between some BDSM practitioners and mental illness? I feel like there might be some kind of connection at least in some cases of practitioners. Plus obviously it has been becoming more common to explore BDSM in recent years, so there are more inexperienced practitioners believing they know what they're doing. And causing injury

[@sarahalderman3126]

Good. I’d imagine that would be self limiting mental illness, thank God.

[@tinaehrob148]

At the time I was with a malignant narc. I was a 100 pound beauty. During the this I was called fat ugly smelly and a cup dumpster. I kicked him off assaulted him and went no contact.

[@peterbennett2655]

This reads like a classic example of the pot calling the kettle black....though being blissfully unself-aware and self-righteously indignant whilst doing so, of course....

[@andrewmere9]

​@@peterbennett2655my . No . Mm . MMB mm mm man mm mm mm MMB m lm mm l LMK kkl l l mm l l ppl mm l LMK k l l l a 😅

[@eliort404]

Very ineresting, thank you🌹

[@DrGrande]

You are quite welcome :)

[@beaulieuc8910]

This reminds me of so many male predatory killers - Wayne Couzens, Russell Williams, etc. Just obsessed with sex fantasies. I think misogyny or similar should be added. Many men would kill for sex... which is kind of insane really

[@annchurchill2638]

My Dark Triad, oversexed and promiscuous ex- husband finally left me when I refused to have BDSM sex and other things that are painful. At one point he said that he though he had a hormone problem and ought to see a doctor, but he never did.

[@yourenough3]

Thanks Dr. G

[@wbooker5723]

At what point do we know we are going into dark places with them.

[@mondoenterprises6710]

When they violate boundaries or limits.

[@ginagray8040]

If it doesn’t feel right or healthy. Learn about what a healthy relationship looks and feels like. Accept nothing less.

[@ncsynthex2478]

Once you’ve already acted them out and then feel guilty for the rest of your lofe

[@wbooker5723]

NC Synthex; Who are you referring to?

[@uzaiyaro]

Personal stuff here, structured in the form of a question (or, that's the idea). Feel free to not read, but it'd really help to know if I really am crazy or not. I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I also have felt quite lost for a long time. I feel like coming forward vaguely anonymously is a bit easier, because I've kind of been afraid of the idea of seeing a therapist for a while. Why? Because I have a couple of rather out there fetishes, that I'd bet serious money that you've never even heard of, or have thought "wait, people can be into that?". These kinks aren't even on the same planet as harmful, either to myself or others. I've been victim of child sex abuse more than once perpetrated by more than one person, and my family's dog was rescued from a social worker who was completely batshit insane - he was terrified of everything and everyone, and he's got missing teeth from being beaten. I have no concept of how people can get any form of enjoyment out of abusing animals or children - or anyone, really. It's not my thing. Both of my kinks have a huge caretaker aspect to them. I want to look after the objects of my desire (or, at least, this only applies to one of them), and it's not a power or control thing for me. What interests me is the love and affection aspect. It's not as though I didn't get enough of this or anything, but my childhood was rather traumatic for way too many reasons. Why it's these two particular things, I can only guess and say how it feels to me, but both things I've been interested in since I was a little kid. Basically, I want to share my love with things that might not have had much of that, because in our world, they're disposable. I know that in reality, it doesn't matter, but it feels nice to me. I'm under absolutely no illusion whatsoever that my love or affection will really help in the grand scheme of things, but I still like to think about them. I'm kind of going on about nothing here, but it's really hard for me to condense my feelings about such a large, such a private part of myself, down into a handful of paragraphs, while also tip-toeing around what the subject matter actually is. I'm sure if I just came right out and said it, it might make more sense, but shame and guilt is something I've always felt with this. I've got friends who *are* mental health professionals, but I'd rather they stay friends than me become their client. They say it's actually, genuinely quite sweet, and they think that I *should* adopt the object of my desire, because it'd make me much happier than I am. But there's always that part of me that wonders if they're trying to be nice. I'm fairly sure they're not just trying to be nice, but they genuinely mean it. I don't know what else to say. I've always been terrified that I meet some of the traits in this video. I've had relationships go south in a big way before, particularly my last one, but I know that I really messed that one up, and that if I could go back and do things differently, I would have. I've done some of these things even without realizing it, even if it seems bloody obvious now. I'm always scared of being a narcissist, even a vulnerable one, and that's why I'm working so damn hard to not be that guy. I don't want to hurt people, I don't find enjoyment in it, and knowing that I've hurt someone, upsets me massively, and my life is full of regret for it. I'm so lucky that I have the partner I do now, even if he is on the complete other side of the world to myself. He shares one of my kinks and encourages the other. I'm the luckiest guy alive to have him in my life (yes, I'm gay), but I still worry about doing something to fuck it all up. I'm sure I've come across as some crazy person, and I won't blame you if that's what you think, because I want to hear what you think - that's the whole point of this entire diatribe. I just want to answer at least a couple of these questions that have been floating around in my head for years. Thanks for listening.

[@Loriann7777]

My dx Narc ex-husband (always identified as straight) became obsessed with a trans-woman half our age- who still maintained very masculine traits and a penis. It was an absolute insane amount of obsession. He spent 50K on this person in a matter of months. The devalue and discard were brutal. When reality hit he was done. Is this something that is unusual then????

[@CarolH2O]

Can you please provide a description of Machiavellinism?

[@suterfire]

Carol Hartung Machiavellian is the philosophy of doing anything to get to the top. Trickery and felonies are some of the tools of a Machiavellian. Check out the book “The Prince.”

[@guyfromthe80s92]

Read The Prince. Highly recommended :)

[@juliegarceau5414]

Very interesting video, great study!

[@meadowrae1491]

"Men scored much higher in these traits, which really is not surprising." I cannot tell if this is humor or not.

[@faith_9677]

Very interesting. Thank you for providing this content.

[@rhondamathis1323]

William lied on US Express application with his psych evaluation.

[@user-gu6vf3je1d]

Excellent video. Great replies as well.

[@killerhentai586]

These results kinda explain how Machiavellianism is differing from the other traits. So, the Machiavellianism is diffrent because of the contiousness it caries with it. While the the other questions for the dark triad test are ''i like \i feel'' the Machiavellianism ones are more statements, such as ''the people are easy to manipulate''. Which even if manipulation is common trate, answering a statement requiers contiusness and tought behind it. Example in that is when you are makind an essay, you are making statement and after that you are prooving it. If i am supposed to image present the triad it would be like this: differing from each N --non-agreement--P \ ( impulsive ) / w a i c l t l i \ o \ n M ( has impulse control as characeristic) Since the s*x drive is natural/ impulsive drive, the Machiavellists won't find the need for it, therefore the fantasies for it.

[@seriouscat2231]

What is contiusness? Not in my dictionary.

[@kathyjenkins4067]

The ex narc psychopath strangulated me near death then had sex with me!

[@ensulalachance8353]

😢 im so sorry

[@virginiamurrey9139]

This was a new topic for me, and it has been an interesting video!

[@angelinastanton7996]

I agree! I learned a lot of interesting information on this topic and from the study.

[@barrysmith1202]

OK, I'm really wondering if I should be concerned about my BF of 7mo; he has mentioned several times now, that he'd like for us to try some WAM (wet and messy sex, ''sploshing''? in the UK), and sex in a little mud, or shaving cream, filled inflatable pool. He showed me thousands of online examples of people all over the world, who are into this, even general-audience-TV shows, movies. Please: WTF is this; it seems harmless. Are all those people narcissists. My BF seems to rate really low on the narc scale.

[@birkit1133]

Please amp up your production volume. It's so low compared to the commercials, which are killing my ears.

[@livfreeali4958]

If you're thinking you might be one you can't because these types don't question themselves ever. That's why they are trouble ahead

[@doedicurus]

I thought a unique feature or emphasis of Machiavellianism was duplicity. Do you not agree?

[@janicedixon2051]

Thanks for the information!

[@Sunny-q5b7x]

Trauma bounded, they are screwed

[@25Soupy]

So what you're saying is, people know why they're doing what they're doing, they know it's wrong but they do it anyways.

[@f.j282]

This could be a good discretion of MEGHAN MARKLE and AMBER HEARD characters.

[@johnharrisjr2808]

Very informative video! Never heard of Sadomasochistic fantasies.

[@tonightweyiffinhell6257]

"Strongly agree" on "Most people can be manipulated" as an indicator of machiavellianism? it's not an opinion, it's just a simple fact. You don't have to think it's a good thing, but you do have to think. And if you think, you have to face the fact it's true. In fact, if I wanted to make people easier to manipulate, I would probably try and pathologize people who claim that people can be manipulated. I would tell everyone that no, it's okay, you're too smart to be manipulated, by the way give me your phone number and bank info.

[@74castaway]

Dr. Grande you eerily described my sisters personality in here. SHE is strongly and empathetically claims to be a Borderline Personality- what do you say about this form of mental disorder regarding to the dark triad?

[@MikeVinKC]

Is there a triad with BPD instead of Machiavellianism?

[@dianaboughner7977]

Yes. Interesting study.

[@jdr9419]

Seems to me that describes a lot of things about the 1960s.

[@ediesongbird3163]

Jessie Diane Ryan how so?

[@Alphacentauri819]

Jessie Diane Ryan did you personally experience the ‘60’s? Or is through your lens of assumption about what you believe the ‘60’s to have been like? You’re in your 70’s?!??

[@jlmadd]

I kind of like this darkness

[@lindanorris2455]

I WOULD GUESS THAT A MOTHER WHO FEELS THAT SHE CANNOT PUNISH HER (4) YR. OLD, STRONGY ENOUGH IN ORDER TO COMPENSATE / SEEK RESTITUTION FOR THE CHILD's MISBEHAVOUR, COULD BE CONSIDERED PSYCOPATHY?

[@datther]

Disorder. Lacking “order.” What is order? Something I do not want

[@karentonks7581]

The whole universe is disorder vs order..chaos vs order ..I believe we're all partly disordered and conflicted

[@dddamaged7501]

May be a few variations of dark triad. ASPD with high narcissism or NPD with aspd traits (malignant narcissist). Machiavellian is learned later in life. Can also see vulnerable narcissism in there cause aspd would see that as a weakness. Unqualified opinion 🙃

[@venrakkhita9564]

Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude

[@allieganoe7753]

ven rakkhita total gratitude!!!! Completely away and grateful!! Thank God he always likes a variety. Keeps him entertained.

[@marlinshanklin-ww7em]

How do I develop these traits ?

[@studiokazuyo]

The artist, Francis Bacon had a boy friend George Dyer who was very violent in sex. Also he was not accepted his father. He painted all of his pain and fear and such world we can see them. Bacon however, triumphed by painting such evil (pin them up)and stay some how very kind and intelligent.

[@Portia620]

A high sex drive doesn’t mean you can’t control yourself and that should be differentiated. I’m sure it’s rare in today’s society has no ability to control one’s self.