Dating Coach Explains Why Nice Guys Actually Finish Last

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Adam here - kzbin.info/www/bejne/rYDZhImjrcR5Y8Usi=SKqBIkAMROMMidUe

[@wileyann9449]

Will do

[@WoziduranJahemter]

There are kind nice guys and there are covert wicked "nice" lil goblinoids simps. Important to know the difference!

[@stroodlepup]

you are disposable no matter which choice

[@WoziduranJahemter]

@@stroodlepup 🤨😁

[@ChickFenwick]

@@WoziduranJahemterA lot of covert narcissists are exactly like that. Goblinoids. lol

[@shiggzay]

It’s not being nice that turn women off. It’s being needy, over pleasing, and not having direction or confidence. Their are tons of nice guys with girlfriends.

[@SelenaSea]

🎯 Succinctly said!

[@davida.taylor8444]

"You prioritize your own safety over actually taking a stand for your morals." Man, that hit home, well said.

[@Antonocon]

About 80% of the population during Covid totalitarianism.

[@alf3071]

there's no reason to remain nice if a girl is treating you like shit, if she's nice you're nice, if not, you don't need to be nice either.

[@VesperAegis]

But, rather than reciprocate any meanness, just leave the relationship if that's the problem or avoid girls who aren't nice. I don't see a reason for this antagonism between men and women, even if we assumed that there's a problem with women not liking nice guys. Other people being uncaring isn't a valid reason to become an angry incel, to take the extreme (and common) example.

[@Khan-rz8qi]

Nice guys don’t just come from abandonment issues, they come from a standard model of dating that’s traditionally taught to boys and men since birth. We don’t raise boys to be smooth talkers are good at the game, we raise them to be good long term providers when they grow up to be men. They keep getting contradicting results as a result, while the guys who got it figured out are scoring nicely. Let’s start being more honest with men, starting from the way we raise them since childhood.💯

[@carbon1479]

This is exactly what I was going to say - most of it comes from men, especially men with no sisters to learn otherwise, getting lied to about women.

[@Dan.50]

Perfectly stated. Think of every hollywood movie or fairytale that you've ever seen, heard or read. The "nice guy" ALWAYS gets the girl in the end. And the fact is, that in real life, that is a LIE.

[@tgheretford]

Plenty of men in their thirties who followed that advice in their twenties, failed, realised they've been duped but have now missed the boat on dating, relationships and in particular, finding someone who will have children with them. The best they can hope for is a woman with kids who doesn't find them attractive and they have a dead bedroom relationship. Chances are, they reach their forties alone. Nice guys don't finish last. They don't finish.

[@PowuhToSeven]

@@tgheretford I would say because they don't know their own worth

[@mgbm8335]

This is actually true but it's not very Charismatic to say, not very appealing.

[@tgheretford]

Nice guys don't finish last. They don't finish. Plenty of examples in video and comment form on this site where men were given good faith advice to be nice to women by family and peers, did so in their twenties, failed, realised it was bad advice and now face their 30's and beyond alone, no chance of finding someone regardless of self-improvement and physical fitness. Because they missed the boat and now face climbing a mountain to find a stable partner and a cliff if they want their own children.

[@johnhauge5921]

​@SezHollywood I've read some of your comments, thanks for sharing. I'm hoping for some advice here. I can't relate to many people sharing their struggling experience here, as I'm an easy flirter and genetically gifted. At 23, I've held myself to a high standard with how far I go with an easy woman, or most relationships in general. I do this because I have told myself to attract a woman of high standard, I must then also meet that standard. Hearing how many partners even a moderately promiscuous woman has had is a huge turn off for me, that I can truly never be a special thing to her in a sexual way. A woman similar to me must then also be attracted to how much I've reserved just for her. But I'm hugely conflicted on this, especially after this last year I've had my shit together and now dating more. Even the more normal girls seem to not care to settle down so quick as you said, so maybe I'm just wasting my precious time and youth. My peers of similar stature treat most of these girls as a meaningless object for pleasure. I can understand the draw, but I don't want to live my life as a similar object for these women to indulge me at the expense of my own standards. My closest long tie friend is a true blackpill incel, my buddies are all athlete hookup type, and almost everyone around my general age are fucking re***ds addicted to dopamine hits through social media or hookup culture. Regardless of any response.. thanks for your earlier comments

[@johnhauge5921]

​@SezHollywood I appreciate your reply. This has been a good exercise for me, and may begin to journal routinely. Or even talk to some sort of therapist. I'll take your advice with me as I go forward. Anecdotally here's what I'm going through.. Just recently, it hit me hard when the totally sexually unadventurous plain jane type (strictly friendly basis).. wanted to go completely out of character and hook up before I moved away a few weeks back. I've never been with someone so completely reserved yet so.. inspired. We were partially physical, but I've never done one time hookups. Maybe it wouldve been a special thing even just once, for a time I regretted passing it up. But I've never been a playboy to any 5 that gets the hots for me. And come to find out more that she's more lib than I realized and also vaxxed to hell and back. Things I avoid for anything remotely serious, personally. One of the few redpill ideologies I always liked was saving your best sexual self for your future spouse. Trying to not give myself any excuse to start being a fuck boy, but perhaps its different for guys. Maybe in a handful of years, the younger unvaxxed more trad type may be generally accepting of a high value & physical specimen with some sexual history.. and the special value of that woman will naturally allow me to love her more than anyone before. Again, maybe goes back to not living up to my own standards. But ultimately I want to be with someone who challenges me to be better, and is better than me at least in some ways. I already understand the issues with picking an attractive woman with a laundry list of past lovers, and I know myself to be jealous despite my position and look down on a woman's lack of sexual discretion. Anyways, the crux of the matter is that in addition to my radiant health and living in a new area, I have been off porn for about a year and do no self pleasure. So, I'm T'd up and more sexually motivated than ever before. I will see what situations I get myself into, and maybe not seek the whore-ish types outrightly, but I may not shy away from the experiences so much as I have previously

[@cac8793]

Yes and no, the guys who missed out earlier in life will have to be more focused on improving themselves, not blame others. That's a good starting point.

[@PowuhToSeven]

Most girls think "if he's timid in the streets, he's gonna be timid in the sheets." And guys need to be confident enough to talk to a woman. Douches have no problem batting 1-100 in getting rejected

[@mizum3458]

Yea... That seems to be true actually. They don't care and have unwaivering persistence in being pushy and disrespectful

[@CONEHEADDK]

You need to be able to hsndle the NOs - we have probably all felt the "were is my cool gone?" when we reeeaaally like a girl/woman.. All the others - no problemo - but the one you "can't live without" turns you into a trembling willow.. You become self consious, start to think over "what will she think about...." aso.. Like scoring 100 goals in a row, but not even hitting the ball correctly, when it's an important game....

[@Not-Ap]

Baby Mamma Mentality and people wonder why our societies are so far gone now. People are in the drivers seat and there driving right off the cliff. Traditional religions ruthlessly clamped down on human sexuality for exactly this reason. Human sexuality is beast that needs to be tamed not something that should be allowed to run free with no consequences. Why? Because people both men and women think in the short term. The offspring are the ones who end up paying price for this 9/10 and that's who I feel the most sorry for.

[@abdihakimereg]

In my opinion calling "Needy" guy a "nice guy" is bad idea. We cannot associate the word "Nice" a negative connotation.

[@stigcc]

"Nice guy" does not mean a nice guy.

[@Inseptembertowers]

Agreed

[@Mart-Bro]

I think the key to calling people nice guys is that you try to think of some complimentary things to say about the person but realise they're so devoid of personality and substance that all you can think to say about them is "they're nice" It's not that being nice is bad. It's that being nice should be a bare minimum and taken for granted, and so if the only way people can describe you is "nice" then you're in trouble

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

It's meant to be ironic sarcasm. Born of how women describe those type of men and their resentment at only being described as nice.

[@rayaqin]

well said

[@artshoey]

This conversation seems too simplified with multiple ideas being conflated to "niceness". When my husband began to pursue me, loads of kind acts and gifts from him, and while it may have been a bit overwhelming initially, what I appreciated about it was the lack of ambiguity. So we got down to business and discussed exactly what we wanted and got married 4 months later. He is no pushover, by the way, and definitely wears the pants in the relationship and is a good businessman. We've passed 3 years of marriage, had a child, and are doing very well. I have to mention, we are in a different (non-Western) cultural context tho.

[@migy5031]

They should define “nice guys” in this context. The term is too vague.

[@billytheripper4]

They probably should specify that they are talking about simps, because what about just gentlemanly conduct, isn't that nice guy territory. Nowadays if a man were to say something like "I would never cheat on my girlfriend" is that gentlemanly conduct or is this guy a simp 🤔

[@xeropunt5749]

‘A generous person may not have wisdom: but, unlike others, he has the means to gain it.’ Different reasons of being nice. I’m nice, as a duty, and also as a touchstone to see OTHER’s level of kindness, in any situation, and as a nice “no-fault party” - when driving on the roads for ex. Accidents DO NOT happen around me. Then I know who my worthy friends are…If I’m an ass or playing games, I’ll never truly know who/what soured the relationship. Plus I’ve developed myself, my self-work, in the process, so there’s never real loss. As you use kindness, you start becoming wiser as to who, when, where & how much to be kind. “Too nice” is an option, but not the rule. It’s unsustainable. Find the right level of kindness. As it has limits: 'Pick up a bee from kindness, and learn the limitations of kindness.' In regards to danger; JP says it best: “You should be a monster, an absolute monster, and then you should learn how to control it." Be strong, be kind, get wiser.

[@elimgarak1127]

Pro tip men. If you like her more than she likes you, pack your shit now it'll never work. Relationships always work best when the woman is more interested in the man. And for Christ sake stop going to bars. Look in places with hobbies and like minded interests, you'll skip much of the akward "what do we do" dates. Next step is getting to know your partner instead of looking to bang. Save that for marriage. A. You'll live. B. Your relationship will be statistically better than those who don't wait, by leaps and bounds. And for the love of god stop moving in with your girl/boyfriend after a few months/year. Wait until you're getting married and then get a house in order.

[@Vayanovic]

One of the only few sensible comments here.

[@lewynld]

People and sometimes women mistake generosity for weakness. There is a big difference between a guy trying to propitiate and a guy who just likes to help. Any sort of begging or bribery is doomed to failure, especially if you want an actual partner imo. There is a confusion here between being a nice guy and a decent guy. Trust is earned long term.

[@jackwilson3297]

Does that imply women arent people ? x)

[@lewynld]

@@jackwilson3297 Lol women are a subset of people although it can be a bit confusing

[@jackwilson3297]

Yeah women are a subset of people so you dont need to add "and sometimes women" as they are already included in people =) Didnt mean to be a grammar nazi , its more jus friendly advice !

[@spindriftdrinker]

This discussion is interesting and intelligent, but it is sure a romance killer. Speaking for myself, I am an average guy - and when I got married many years ago I was totally happy with my wife's attractiveness and sexiness and still am all these years later. I had spent quite a long time on the dating scene, too. Men, just keep leading your best life and have faith that things will work out OK eventually.

[@aeggeska1]

"have faith" says the man who is successful with women. It doesn't work like that bro.

[@MikoDnst]

Women themselves killed romance and chivalry, we're just revealing that their words and actions don't match at all

[@spindriftdrinker]

@@aeggeska1 Why should it not? You only have to find one good woman. You have to know what you want and tell her on day one - and make sure she tells you too. Make sure you meet her family early on and verify that they have good middle class values.

[@citizensnips3850]

@@spindriftdrinker Because "having faith" isn't advice or a solution. It's just as silly as praying.

[@spindriftdrinker]

@@citizensnips3850 It's all about keeping calm and soldiering on and not letting your frustration get the best of you. I've been there and I know it can be very hard.

[@SeanCosgrove1]

Men: I want a woman who is pretty and agreeable. So I'll be agreeable too Women: I want a man who is high status financially. So I'll spend my 20's accumulating resources and look for a husband in my mid 30's People get into trouble assuming that men and women are attracted to similar attributes. They are genuinely surprised and think they "did everything right".

[@Charlotte_Martel]

It wouldn't be so bad for the woman in her mid 30s if she were looking for a husband in his 50s. But most want men their own ages, while if a guy is still single in his mid 30s, he's looking for a woman who's quite a bit younger.

[@Elementalism]

We spend too much time building the perfect person in our heads only to realize they either dont exist or if we find them it isnt so perfect. I thought fellow widows would be a nice match because we had something in common and would better understand the paradigm of losing a wife\husband. The dates turned into trauma dumping which is about as romantic as a wet fart to the face. Similarities dont always mean compatibility.

[@abigailzavala3556]

I’m really interested to find the correlation between declining testosterone levels and how that is affecting men’s attractiveness. I keep reading comment after comment on how men keep getting rejected and I really believe there are other factors besides social media and the apps.

[@Michael-xm4ux]

High carb diets kill testosterone

[@KanyeT1306]

It's the Pill. Hormal birth control has two effects. It gets into the water supply, which men then ingest and lowers their testosterone levels. It also skews a woman's sexual preferences by lowering their estrogen.

[@apocolypse11]

Bingo! Ford n Rockefeller foundation got this in the bag.

[@NarcSurvivor]

Nice guys always finish last. They get manipulated, used and abused by narcissists.

[@Notsram77]

That's not "nice" it's just pathetic.

[@mizum3458]

True. Even if they mostly gotten used as an Fboy ain't no serious guy want to be treated like a piece of meat! That nonsense is a huge turn off when you bring personality and all the other good things about a relationship to the table and all these 304s wanna do all day everyday all the time is just get smashed and you can't catch a damn break to just relax. 😤

[@mizum3458]

What I wish I could find the answer to is why do most women act more like the the chics I want in my life with other men they dated before me when I heard about some guys say the same chic is very conservative and traditional or she doesn't give it up easy I tried to get at her for years and I'm thinking WTF!!!!????? That same chic tried to give me top on the first date within a few hrs!???? I've been cursed or something 😓

[@xylexuss]

I dont think this dude knows what agreeable means in the psychometric sense 😂. He literally called every man in a public facing job a weak simp

[@g.r.2985]

Wow!! I thought I was a “nice guy” all this time for noble reasons! 🤯 Now a dad and long out of my dating years, I get it and won’t bring up my son the same. 😊

[@ThisIsQuarty]

Hi if this is a legit revelation for you then 1) I'm very happy for you :) and 2) I suggest you checkout the book No More Mr Nice Guy (its free online, or paid physical copy) this gentleman has referenced the author multiple times in podcast interviews etc (even to Chris, I think).

[@antonio83]

If Nice Guy is Chad, he is spoiled for choice

[@NarcSurvivor]

Actually, I’ve seen Chads get rejected and overlooked on several occasions, because they were too shy and timid. It really depends on the girl. If the girl is shy too, you’re ok.

[@PowuhToSeven]

​@@NarcSurvivorbeing a Chad means you don't care that you got rejected. They hate it somehow when they leave you and you find someone else. It's very strange.

[@ankansenapati3600]

​@@PowuhToSeventhen he would not be considered simp or nice guy

[@antonio83]

@@NarcSurvivor A Chad always finds something. Character means nothing.

[@MeatVessel]

I spent 30 years being a nice guy and the past year being a simp. I feel like I was lied to and wasted my life trying to make other people happy. I am ready to end it, so I’ve had no problem blowing through my savings to have an attractive woman pretend to care about me while I am still relatively young.

[@matthewbuick373]

There's still time to recover and find a good person on your terms, not society's, especially if you now understand you were lied to. Don't end it!

[@inadad8878]

yo wtf

[@darkmater4tm]

If you think you can't find a worthy woman, you're still being lied to. Invest in yourself first, and women will sincerely see value in you. It only takes a couple of years. Sadly, it sounds like you're going in the opposite direction, and using the resulting failure as proof that success is impossible. (I know we are supposed to comfort people when they say they'll end it, but I don't believe telling you more lies will be anything more than a temporary help)

[@inadad8878]

Just stay away from single mothers and don't try to date online.

[@hawleygriffin1800]

@@matthewbuick373 He can quit being a simp. But that doesn't mean a woman is going to want him back.

[@boringbill88]

LOL, he basically said the rule "treat others the way you want to be treated" is hogwash. And that's a big...duh. Basically his belief is "nice guys" simp to women so they can get laid and it never works out for them. And they will act negatively later. He basically alluded that all nice guys are simps. I don't agree at all with this at all. Nice guys are nice, simps are simps. In my experience, simps are covert assholes. They aren't actually kind at all, usually assholes to men and kind to women (which is probably at least 50% of young men). Nice guys can sometimes be doormats for both genders because of their timidness, but the majority of them aren't actually expecting something back. But you should absolutely live your life on a reciprocal basis. If you're kind to someone and they are mean to you, stop being kind to them, it doesn't mean to be vengeful it could mean walking away from them and never interacting. You're under no obligation to treat others, specifically women kindly just because they exist. Keep your guard up until something is earned.

[@aelfredrex8354]

They jump the line in the Lust, Like, Love progression. She's not even at Lust and they're off into Like and Love territory in their heads. There has to be mutual Lust to get the ball rolling.

[@aelfredrex8354]

@@Krelian4400 Nah, just got to communicate effectively.

[@joe42m13]

If you want a successful relationship, you need to earn her Admiration, not her Approval. Things between you should be reciprocal, not transactional.

[@PermanentExile]

This is a gross oversimplification. He is lumping many things into one pot, calling it bad, and saying it’s absolute. The “advice” men are getting these days seems extreme on both ends.

[@ShredCo]

It's such a tricky balance to find as a young man, being a good man and nice to women but not being a nice guy or a 'pick-me' type.

[@Jacco0]

I'm an extremely nice guy, but I'm not a "nice guy". I think we all know the difference, but just to clarify to some that it exists and that they're very different. I give a lot kindness and affection to anyone freely and am very generous, not expecting or needing anything in return. I'm very empathic and connect with people with great ease and most people trust me easily and feel (emotionaly) safe around me. People relax easily in my presence and I don't have problem attracting women. It pays to be actually nice, unconditionally and authentically.

[@kyliepechler]

Well said! Sadly, the word "nice" has been given so many different meanings today that it never had in the past.

[@nanomia]

you get it!

[@KanyeT1306]

These conversations are never really productive because everyone always gets confused about what a nice guy is. Everyone has different definitions about guys who are nice, generous, needy, clingy, respectful, etc. The crux of the issue is that men are taught/raised to be kind and caring long term partners, but that doesn't translate well into success in dating and finding women. It also doesn't help that women have zero clue what they want. They will tell you the quality they admire in a man, but not what qualities they actually respond to with behaviour. I am unbelievably nice. Mum always raised me to be kind to others. I don't do it because I expect sex, I just like taking care of people I care for. Unfortunately, it comes across as incredibly intense when I first meet a girl. It isn't helped by the fact that after having so little success for so long, when I finally find an opportunity, I am overwhelmed with trying to do things right that I cause my own failure.

[@RiseUpToYourAbility]

What worked for me is being a nice to a girl and then asking her out. If she says no, I just move on.

[@Vnzkb]

1:19 2:23 2:49 3:01 3:58 4:01 4:45 5:26

[@antonio83]

In 2023 if you are an average man, you can only find women for a fee. Education, respect and determination count for nothing. Chris makes it easy with his millions and his physique.

[@leandroflaherty]

The miilions will take more than effort, but his physical attributes are 100% within the reach of everyone willing to put in the work and say no to the unhealthy lifestyle.

[@devinglass9967]

@@leandroflaherty Bullshit. No one can make themselves taller and for plenty of people, a six-pack like Chris's is genetically almost impossible.

[@henrytep8884]

@@leandroflahertyI don’t think you can just grow to the optimal height…. But this isn’t to say you can’t work out our eat healthy or be fit. Just making an argument for our uniqueness and also that there’s an average standard for almost everything physiologically.

[@antonio83]

@@leandroflaherty believe it

[@LeonidasMZee]

Lmao cry about it, give yourself an excuse to not get in shape

[@TruthPapi]

You guys are discussing two completely different topics here… “Simp culture” and the need for a man to offer “protection” to his woman and family are not related… But yea, OF and IG are disastrous for both dating and relationships and probably society as a whole.

[@SeanCosgrove1]

Men who act as if their comparable advantage over other men is how nice they are usually don't have much going on. Most guys who women are attracted to are probably a 7/10 nice in Western countries. Advertising that you're a 9/10, while not showing that you are fit in any other way (intelligence, strength, accumulated wealth, useful skills, being funny etc) is a pretty weak strategy.

[@maewest68]

I find the whole concept dumb. Everyone does things on the expectation that they'll receive something in return, it's why people stop sending you birthday cards if you don't send them one. I mean for fuck sake, the word "scrounger" wouldn't exist if it weren't so. The only thing that makes a "nice guy" a nice guy, is he can't seem to seal the deal. If he did, they'd get married and 50 years later she'd be saying "oh my god, he was just the nicest, most caring guy...". Fine line between success and failure.

[@JamalW239]

‘I like him but he was just too nice’ - many women around the globe. Nothing to do with ‘sealing the deal’.

[@maewest68]

@@JamalW239 You have completely misunderstood my point and said a bunch of nonsense. Try to put a whole, complete argument together and then it might be worth responding properly. If they said "I like, he's too nice" and he still got with her, then he'd be sealing the deal. So I repeat, failing to seal the deal is the difference.

[@ZoKitchen]

Gents,Keep that beautiful emotional side of you. But bring the practical side that your head holds too. 💝 message from your angel!

[@steen275]

Why be a good honest man if you’re punished for it. Men are rewarded for being bad and punished for being good. So Why be a good man if you lose In life? Dont worry i will start treating women like shit since thats how you win.

[@at1the1beginning]

At this point I've watched dozens of videos about the dating crisis that's going on between men and women. As a gay man, I feel like I'm watching a dramatic play unfold from the sideline. It's entertaining yet frightening and depressing at the same time.

[@TruthUnboundOfficial]

Great points, however I believe you have to look at this entire discussion holistically. There are so many elemental and causal factors at play that have led to this. The balance of masculinity and the noble archetypal ideas and characteristics once associated with it have been supplanted for decades with the lower, inverted forms. Weakness, fear, and the deep-seated need for approval have proliferated among men. That along with post modernist, moral relativism infused by what became 3rd wave feminism have essentially destroyed both genders by rendering their new worldviews and subsequent behavioral patterns antithetical to one another.

[@nicolastaisne7910]

Eye opening

[@bobbuilder-ri6df]

This helped my L rizz friend - Ethan Ma a lot! Thanks 🥭

[@bobbuilder-ri6df]

Edit: He turned gay

[@payamism]

Imagine you are 6' 5", and you look like Brad Pit! Let's see if women care if you are a nice guy or not! Intellectuals tend to overcomplicate matters and then come up with elegant explanations! The rules are all for the average Joe. Women are very good at trapping the Average Joe and making him sim up to them because he can be resourceful. The Average Joe doesn't want to be a nice guy but doesn't want to be a jerk, either. He counts on some level of courtesy on the side of women, but he will be disappointed when he doesn't get that courtesy. The bottom line is to be upfront with what you want in return and if that is not met, be strong enough to walk away. It takes practice and discipline.

[@pokehunt3r224]

Fat ginger men giving dating advice, this is where we are in the cycle people.

[@SelenaSea]

I've watched the full interview, and I see Adam slightly differently. I see a successful, happily married man with a supportive wife, four kids and another one on the way, following his chosen purpose in life to use his experience (and not insubstantial work with hundreds of couples) to help others through difficult challenges with their relationships... all while providing for his family. Though I do have a soft spot for red heads, admittedly. 😊 But Adam seems very grounded to me, as well as humorous, compassionate, and pragmatic. And he's pretty much living the dream that many men want for themselves. I think he can probably teach us a thing or two. 💭 I'm a married mother of very active Gen Z boys, so my (handsome brown-haired 😄) husband and I are interested in helping them find the best guidance from other men, as well as good male role models irl, so they can discover more ways to enjoy their own lives to the full. ❤️‍🔥 Chris and Adam have established a great brotherly rapport, and I think their conversations are some of the most intelligent and balanced on the topic of modern dating and relationships right now.

[@pokehunt3r224]

@@SelenaSea that doesn't change the fact that he's fat and ginger

[@citizengkar7824]

So, what is being defined as nice, here? Like many other Human attributes, like IQ for example, words are contextualized to accomodate a particular discusssion. Especially, in the academic arena. Is a nice person someone who thinks of others more, than they think of themselves? Is it being considerate towards themselves only? Is it being genuine; or just a facade, portrayed outwardly? Or, is it just another redefintion, usurping a words real meaning, to encompass the overall current environment, of wokism? I would suggest that the reason genuinely good people finish last is due to the overall parameters, governing Animal Nature, on this planet (at the top of that list, would be, 'only the strong survive.' Yeah, a Human concept, I know, but within Mankind, it definitely applies. And, the opposite sex is attracted to that trait). We like to think we are civilized, when, in reality, we are just animals who are at the top, of the animal kingdom, due to conscious sentience, as we understand it: not necessarily intelligence, under any parameters. Ask any other species, if any Human would be considered nice, under their criteria. The facade of nicety is just that. Look at the aforementioned environment, of wokism. Many believe those in power are nice people, because they look after their ideals, at the expense of others: I beg to differ. Conmen are also considered, by many, to be nice: until they aren't! We ARE an evolutionary work in progress, both genders have their shortcomings, in BOTH directions. Because we are myopic, we never see those shortcomings, until after the fact. Something we can all work on.

[@TysonG11]

you mean a passive aggressive guy?

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

A guy who can't stand-up _to_ a woman certainly can't be counted on to stand-up _for_ a woman. How could a woman trust a man to protect her and the kids from the threats of the outside world when he's afraid of her? I'm not talking about physically dominating or bullying her, just simply saying no and meaning it when it's appropriate.

[@alf3071]

even if you're not nice and u ask for sex then she thinks you view her as a sex object

[@petergarrison]

Actually Nice Guys do Finish Last is True. I Will give you my "Elevator Theory" Nice Guys go after "low value" women who are on the 3rd -4th Floor. Here come Down a "High Value Women" on the 10th-12 Floor .Nice Guy waves as she is going down to the 3rd-4th Floor. Mean While "Nice Guy" Keeps on goin up the Elevator.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

I always thought the difference between a nice guy and a kind guy is principles. A kind man is a principled man who gives because he chooses to do irrespective of whether the receiver will respond in kind or not. A nice guy gives with the understanding that he will get something in return for his efforts. If the receiver does not complete the transaction, the nice guy is suddenly not so nice. He may get passive-aggressive, he may abandon you or he may get downright angry. Who can respect a man like-who says one thing but believes another? He's a man who lacks integrity and not to be trusted.

[@alandbs329]

Really doctor, that’s what “you” thought, is it? Sure, jan 🤦🙋‍♂️😂

[@ChickFenwick]

@SezHollywoodAccountability is kryptonite to men. Nobody forced you to do anything. And no, we don’t always know, especially when we’re young and naive, and you insist that you’re “just being nice”. Besides, you get mad at us for saying that men always have an agenda, even though you’re saying the exact same thing right now. You’ll get mad at women for rejecting your approaches, insisting that you just wanted to say “hello” because you “just wanted to be nice”. If we don’t believe your “nice” narrative, then you call is misandrists. But if we humor you then we were “taking advantage” or “leading you on”.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@SezHollywoodI think two things can be true at the same time. I do think you have a point that there are some women who are manipulative and use a man's attraction to them for their own personal benefit. I also believe that same man has the opportunity to stand firm on his self-respect and principles and say no to that woman. He chooses not to do so and then gets mad at the woman when really he should be mad with himself for falling for her tricks. At the end of the day, we can only be accountable for our own actions, not for the actions of others.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@SezHollywood oh absolutely not! If I gave that impression in my initial comment then I apologize. That is not at all what I mean. If a woman promises something to you that she does not follow through on then you have every right to be upset and I would urge you to leave her alone. She is not a woman of integrity and you want nothing to do with her. I just don't think that a person should be offering kindness with the intention of getting something in return. Do it because that's the kind of man that you are and you're doing it out of the kindness of your heart. If you're always expecting to get something in return for being nice to someone then expect to be disappointed. The world will inevitably disappoint you.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@SezHollywood That's awesome. I'm glad you're teaching them to pay attention to people's actions and use critical thinking skills when engaging in communication with women. It's always good to keep your wits about you. I think women have a super power called influence. Some discovered it early and never learned how to wield it for good and not evil. This is why positive older male involvement is important for young girls. They can practice influence and learn how to use it with care and wisdom on men. A good father figure will curb bad habits and praise the good.

[@dondadaoffical]

This is why I'm mean

[@lairawn3428]

hey Chris, I just want to pass along my admiration and I really appreciate what you do and what you bring to the world. these short form are really good for my linch breaks and free time when I don’t have time for full episodes. One more thing, can you include episodes # in the future so that we know where it is in your podcast. Kudos to you and your team! I’m pulling for y’all!🫶🏻

[@NorisSpecter]

People mistake being nice and kindness. For example, a nice person will tell the obese one they look great. A kind person will say it's not healthy, and being in good shape is what's the most attractive. Being nice is evil in the long run. As for the second point, for me, my life is the most important thing I have. Saying that I'd put it on the line with reckless abandon for the woman who gave her life to me. But if she only uses me for my resources or as a transition point until she finds a better man, then the most I can offer is entertainment.

[@Charlotte_Martel]

We need to stop calling manipulative guys "nice." There are genuinely nice guys out there, and once women are out of their "bad boy" phase aka teens, they appreciate them.

[@Charlotte_Martel]

@SezHollywood I hate to say this, but if a woman hasn't found a serious relationship by that age, chances are that she'll be resigned to life long singlehood.

[@jarrett9]

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover

[@NeroCloud1]

I watch porn but would never pay for only fans. The internet has free sites for porn. Why pay for it?

[@dagobertovallecillo2181]

Sometimes I'm wondering in what sense Nice Guys finish last, I mean, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, and many more were guys that at some age you'd have say they were some "Nice guys", I don't know if they finished last in life, perhaps they did not obtain at some point in life what other guys were achieving:, girls, dates, drinks and so on, but I ask the question again: Did they finish last?

[@wileyann9449]

Sooo.. what is a woman to do when her religious beliefs are that she’s supposed to wait until marriage before sex?

[@PowuhToSeven]

It's only about sex?

[@danielyounker5371]

She should. It’a a mortal sin not to do so.

[@wileyann9449]

I mean that’s what they were talking about right?

[@PowuhToSeven]

​@@wileyann9449what they were explaining is that in history there has been an exchange sex for gifts. If it's protection or piece of mind. It's an exchange that gets weird when you haven't done anything and he's willing to kill himself for you.

[@wileyann9449]

@@PowuhToSevenI think I should watch the whole episode and after a tad more coffee😂

[@vishjay2092]

To see how Nice guys finish last do read the novel Wolf winter by Claire Francis. There is nice romance going on between the handsome hero Hal and Ragna. Along comes the playboy villain who sweeps Ragna of her feet. The heroine Ragna junks the love of the hero Hal and gets into a physical relationship with the villain Rolf a known womaniser who is responsible for the death of her husband Jan. The hero is such a loser that all he can do is be a nanny to Ragna s son while she is busy with her kinky stuff and having fun with with the villain Rolf at the same time stringing Hal along. The hero is pining for Ragna throughout. He gets her only at the end

[@wampaswomps3975]

Nice guys finish in divorce court but bad boys finish on her face. 💦

[@DaDonZanni-pd1tp]

Facts 😂❤😍

[@carsonsmith2680]

Kindness > Nice

[@grandcanyon-d4d]

It's the same thing

[@mikedriver6560]

Chuck boy

[@ardentenquirer8573]

Chris, I thought you were more reasonable than this getting sucked into this game and delusion.

[@Gedit]

Love these hilarious convos about outdated and increasingly ridiculous gender roles. Thanks God that's all changing. The more successful humans are at tossing this nonsense the louder the screaming will get about it from those who can't wrap their heads around it changing.

[@moonstrukk126]

Because NICE GUYS are not NICE. Nobody is ever too "nice" I hear women say this alllll the TIME. "I'm just too nice"..lol No one I have ever met that said thst was ever actually nice. What they are is either terribly insecure, people. Pleasers, or covert narcissists. Nothing makes me run the other way faster than when I hear somebody proclaim "I'm just too nice or I'm such an honest person." Yikes! Lol run don't walk.

[@bcaching1442]

That last sentence; Thats why they need to respect a man to really sleep with a man. Okay mr theoretical, be a saturday night barman for 5 years. See how much 'respect' a woman has to have for you to do with you what she will always deny later to the man she 'respects'.

[@Grady00683]

Maybe men arent paying, it could be the banks

[@living_water-]

Yes, nice guys don't do nice things because they like to. They do it with expectations of "payment" later. As women we learnt early in life to stay away from "nice" gestures if you are not interested because the minute you say no, he will remind you of the time he paid for a 10 dollar meal....LOL.

[@philaman1972]

I am 52m never married and no kids. I think I'll continue to remain on the sidelines of this modern dating sh!t-show.

[@prycelessly]

Then they are really not nice guys. Nice men do not ultimately behave like jerks. Nice men are genuinely caring, & kind, & strong, & tough, & protect, & provide, just like nice women. Simps are not nice. I guess the real issue is that your definition of "nice" & mine differ.

[@themydnighthour]

I ain't trying to be toxic, but he looks like the dude who's gf I stole.

[@darkmater4tm]

But then you meet a woman who loses interest because it's the third date and you still haven't begged for sex... and this podcast's model falls apart.

[@emptysoul5057]

I think real nice guys don't really finish last. Often it's the ones who come across as over gifting trying to guilt you into letting them in your pants before you've gotten to know them well enough...I think those are the types who finish last. Being genuinely kind when it's appropriate isn't a problem everyone should do it but being quote nice as a manipulative tactic really isn't nice at all ....

[@Anthony_in_Bloomington_Indiana]

. I agree, and nice is the wrong word to use here. Women like - confident men. Everyone likes confident people. Bad boys come across as confident, and that confidence is what attracts women. A man can have excellent manners and be confident. What turns a woman off is a man who comes across as needy, clingy or desperate. Calling these qualities - nice - is using the wrong word. 😕 .

[@CaptZenPetabyte]

Not even remotely understands the principles of evolutionary psychology / pressures and the changes in the 'dating game' since social media ... he may explain some small type of the social landscape but is missing a *huge* part of the story.

[@mgbm8335]

Ngl if guys were more respectful/honest with each other this can be prevented. But people can even turn Love/Relationships into a Competition.

[@AfricanJingleStudios2380]

A.I GIRLFRIENDS LIKE NICE GUYS

[@SelenaSea]

_"You look like a good Joe."_

[@xeropunt5749]

Elephant in the room: intellectual chubster who doesn’t have enough balls to love. Tell me about love. 🦗🦗🦗

[@israeliniceguy8100]

Being nice is not a virtue. Don't confused nice with good and kind. Good luck being just nice in your life.

[@fritzmiller9792]

PSA....If these two guys had half the answers that they think they do than this would be great stuff.....I would not advise anyone anything these two are passing off as wisdom and fact. 👎

[@fireironthesecond2909]

Who cares? I’d rather be a nice person than a person in a relationship 🤷‍♂️

[@encouragingword1172]

This is all wrong. It comes down to how much testosterone a man produces and his ability to exude virility, vitality and manliness, not misogynistic attitudes sometimes misconstrued as manliness, but true confidence and of standing by his convictions. A man doesn’t whine, or resort to various attempts at control. Ive known men who were interested in me but weren’t willing to even risk being told no. Too afraid to ask for a date. If l had asked them they would have been happy but if not even able to bear rejection on that level or persevere, what would make me think he’s capable of dealing with any of life’s serious adversities?! Women like men who are confident and kind, but not ingratiating and if they aren’t accepted for some reason then he sees it as a healthy challenge. As has been said, Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady!” “She’s what l want so l will pursue her, within reason.” Not stalk her. Not shower her with gifts. Not try to control or manipulate her but also not just accept rejection. A man must also have enough self confidence that if he is rejected and he knows its final that in the end he will walk away with dignity. Not being petulant, vengeful or arrogant. Just accept it with quite strength and confidence. Women have to do the same when they send out signals or make efforts which are rejected. My first husband played like he was nice but he was actually a lying manipulative weasel. I wasn’t even attracted to him, just married him out of youthful stupidity, boredom, and a desire to settle down with someone, anyone. I was so shallow and foolish. He could act very nice, but it was all an act and quite frankly, l deserved exactly what l got. But second time around l married a man completely opposite. He was a big jerk sometimes but he was honest, never lied or tried to impress anyone. He didn’t pay me a lot of compliments. He didn’t make that much money although he worked long hrs, his faithfulness, intelligence and protectiveness of me and the kids were his strong points. I never desired to ever look at anyone else for 34 yrs and still haven’t since he passed away.

[@killgriffinnow]

It’s not about “being afraid of rejection”, it’s about being afraid of making the other person upset or uncomfortable. There is literally no help or advice given to people like this, nothing except blame and mockery.

[@citizensnips3850]

Lmao lady most men are afraid of being called a creep or a stalker and having their entire lives destroyed by the woman, it has absolutely nothing to do with being rejected. Lmao. The dating scene has changes completely since you've been involved in it.

[@enjinman]

Chris you talk too much bro .

[@mizum3458]

I dont believe this crap. Only reason being is that i am known to be nice to everyone. And I'm not a simp mangina but i treated all my ex gfs very well. I'm usually more passive than most males for a number of years because I'm tired of getting into legal problems as i did in the past. But if anybody harass and put hands on me or my girls i will put the beating down quick and hard when i have to. And almost all beaches i ever dated tried to give it up on the first date ever since my 1st beach and even during the years i was still a virgin because i actually wanted to stay a virgin until i was married. He's just be talking about beta male simp manginas snd fake egocentric hyper masculine alphas that always act hard all the time and cant really back it up and when they try they cant even hold their own in anything physically violent without weapons and have to try dragging everyone else into beefs for support because they lack balls to handle the chit they start themselves or they're straight weak nerds or something. Because a nice person or a good person that doesnt lie to women doesnt make you a beta simp at all imo. If that were simping then I'd wish everyone in this world all around me to be a simp. But yea... Disloyal pos backstabbing cowards and TOXIC bastards 304s and guys that can't ever have honest sportsmanship and have to try to cheat play dirty at everything to try to score and bash or bully others and simp whiteknighting and bashing other males around them to falsely try big themselves up and lead with $$$$$ just to get P being fakes and sellouts of their own etc are some manginas that i define to be the real simps... Not the honest good men that maybe get mistaken at times just for being friendly and a lot of people assume we all soft or won't ever call anybody out or cant back anything up its just the biggest mistakes a lot of fools make in life both men and women. Men that get destroyed and fefails that wish they didnt screw things up have to often learn to hard ways. 😒Damn.... It really doesn't pay to be a kind person anymore it seems when it comes to most men dealing with Westernised fefails. Islam and all cultures where the fafhers choose the daughters husband had it right 🤔

[@Paradoxisthefingerprintofgod]

Be nice men.

[@Simon-vi1jl]

Haven’t listened to the video just here to say - How can he be a dating coach and in such bad shape. If he knew anything about dating he’d lose weight and make an effort with his appearance.

[@thecoker1026]

Sex is not transactional and I loathe this is the social norm.

[@kyliepechler]

Just hearing people talking about it being transactional can be a huge turn-off for many people too.