Dating Games: When ‘playing it cool’ is sure to backfire - Susan Winter

[@k4ir0s]

I'm reminded of a poem: “She had blue skin, And so did he. He kept it hid And so did she. They searched for blue Their whole life through, Then passed right by- And never knew.”

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

This is beyond description

[@lostmyoldversion7538]

Savage

[@zizi9028]

:(

[@tamarahaskins2774]

I get so mad when your videos end! I want more and more lol...

[@SusanWinter]

Tamara, you doll. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@luulips]

Tamara Haskins Me too! She's great isn't she?!?!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you luulips!

[@darrencorgan]

you horny girl you!!

[@missriss_xoxo]

I know I wish she would do videos on dating and social media. Or how to handle your partner liking other girls pictures on social media.

[@luciadozier1267]

Ahhh the good ole "LET'S SEE WHO CAN CARE THE LEAST" game😒

[@eatermckinnon4644]

if a guy shows he cares. You gona tell your girl friends from GNO that OMG.... I can't believe he showed that he cared. How DARE HE?????!!!!! What a huge turn off..... lol

[@joec1212]

@@eatermckinnon4644 they are all different. Oftentimes sadly you do have to play that game, and part of it is all the players, predators, and stalkers out there. Women want to know that you wont flake on, or smother them etc.

[@joec1212]

I do think its solid advice for women though.

[@namastewellness]

High school much?

[@deb310red]

Exactly.

[@mlantieri]

Im in my 60’s and I’m finding single ladies my age still playing games......WHY?....how much more time do we have on this planet?

[@Ak-gr3pu]

😂✌

[@mavetyan]

Why date ladies of your age, better try ladies in their 50s or even 40s.

[@qweej9890]

😂

[@factsondeck1552]

Woman take their egos to the grave with them. Let them go and don’t go with them.

[@claranencu6969]

Thank you for putting this advice out there, Susan. There are so much nonsensical dating tips that make relationships so hard to navigate. We need more honesty and openness.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Clara. I agree. I appreciate your comment.

[@grandeurglory7777]

it's really so logicall and true but sometimes life take advantage of our openness and honesty, especially when female approahes a man first.

[@fareenahanes3546]

Susan...l can't find the correct words to express,,,to say that you are just Amazing...l have learnt so much from you....Thankyou so much...

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Fareena! Thank you.

[@fareenahanes3546]

You are welcome..love you..Susan..

[@lioydwilliams1850]

@@fareenahanes3546 your lovely smile can make the news

[@elenabelacastre7789]

DESPERATE, WEAK IS WHAT THEY CALL IT, BUT IT'S VUNERABILITY, BEING GUTSY ENOUGH TO SHOW THE REAL U IN IT'S STRONGEST FORM!

[@chasingcats4]

Needed to hear this. A close friend just advised me to play it cool essentially when I’m about to confess my feelings for someone. I’m glad to be reminded of doing the right thing. Thank you again

[@AzumaRikimaru]

what happend

[@zapphireqvq8954]

??

[@evilisevilgoodisgood1421]

Don’t be to heavy!

[@flowerdiva18]

You call it being direct, and I call it being honest to myself - if I want to respond, I respond... natural :) thank you for another great video!

[@SusanWinter]

Spoken with true confidence! Thank you for your lovely note, flowerdiva18.

[@launchparty2k9]

True words of wisdom! I have seen this backfire many times! I personally believe in lettings things naturally flow, if its meant to be, it will be, if its not, it won't. My experiences when dating women, is that i go into it as getting to know a friend without any expectations, I find that your more comfortable around each other that way and some of those dates has led to it being more than friends and others has ended up being just friends BUT when playing games are involved, I lose interest very easily which has usually led to the woman being upset about it because I see it as a waste of time when there are plenty of other women who don't feel the need to do that, better to just let it flow naturally and see what happens.

[@SusanWinter]

Brilliant, Seven!! I love your attitude. Thanks for your comment.

[@grandeurglory7777]

indeed, until i met a fake hypocrite who played mind games. i shrink from being frank and outspoken of my feeling as a female

[@latosharice4262]

Where you at Steven, u taken yet

[@JuicyFruityify]

Don't they get pissed when you walk the other way when they try to play games. They won't take responsibility for the failure of the relationship even thought it's their fault. Ego. Whatever....on to the next cutie.

[@DivineProphetessCoral]

@@JuicyFruityify Men think hurting a woman by using "reverse psychology" works, but actually kindness is the biggest turn on!

[@zoeyalsaffar3381]

Susan your video did not only change my perspective to relationships yet it has changed my life. thank you so much... you are a star!

[@SusanWinter]

THANK YOU Zoey Oz!!!! I'm so happy to read your note. Thrilled!!

[@Hope2Hopetoo]

Hi Susan! I recently discovered your channel. You are so elegant and articulate. At 6:14 minutes, I laughed so much at the change in your voice, when you were mimicking texting. Too funny dearest!

[@EllieFarago]

This is an old video, but I just had to say this is so good! Have been there, done that, and what was the outcome from it? None... Well..just heartbreak. I have just recently promised myself that next time I find someone interesting (and that doesn't happen very often!) I'm gonna be more open and direct. And then this video shows up in my flow..like a confirmation of what I'm thinking is the right path to take! So, thank you Susan! I really think your channel is the best of it's kind here on KZbin, because you actually know what you are talking about❤

[@godstomper]

I noticed playing it cool works depending on the person.

[@smartanajones4u]

I love how your videos are short but very succinct, powerful and to the point!

[@mayfairmoore4518]

Susan winters channel is for mature adults ..you spot on . I just met a guy who gives me every attention i need .,and I'm opening up to him because I feel the same way..it is so amazing when you love someone who loves you..

[@jmest3571]

The more I watch your videos the more I am convinced that it is only the people whom watch your videos that have a better chance of finding true love. And that gives me hope! Thank you, Susan. You’re God’s sent

[@tatathebutterfly]

Playing it cool is what my ex did and it lead to the end of the relationship. It’s a really dumb tactic especially if you’re pass the getting to know you phase.

[@d-diversity3760]

Gosh I love how you can explain things! I never had vocabulary to express or explain myself. Through your videos I am learning those words that help me orally express what’s going on within me and not just feel it or even worse get frustrated that people don’t see or understand me. THANK YOU SUSAN! I am looking forward our conversation on Wednesday.

[@Devotchka161]

You are so right about everything in this video, thanks for putting it out there. When someone mixes 'playing it cool' with cycles of valuation/devaluation it's a sure way to push someone that doesn't play foolish games away. At some point one just stops believing anything they say. I've reached that point.

[@patricemarie3412]

Great video! The universe is using your logic to confirm what I intuitively want to do. Thank you.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Jersey Girl,your lovely smile can make the news

[@MizzSweetTe]

I am so GUILTY of this!!!! 😩 I will definitely 🛑 stop. Thank you sharing

[@user-ft2zz3um6l]

Susan, thank You so much for explaining this! I now know for certain where i messed up 10 years ago. Im not even sure why we start to believe that we need to be super uninterested about the people we really like. Why we think that its being desperate. You put it perfectly in words, it is not desperation or vulnerability, its being honest and upfront. Thank You! Wish i had the knowledge of today 15 years ago :)

[@bozzekaka]

This is such awesome advice. So much unnecessary energy spending when you have to remember who ever answered last and how much time has went by and should go by until you answer - - omg so exhausting! That is not the life I want to live, so why live it even for a short amount of time ?? : D

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Tankgirl 85. Not more wasted energy! You'll never need to do that again. All the best!!

[@laris7829]

Thank you. I never play it cool and have always been a straight shooter and I thought that was what I was doing wrong. Good to get affirmation that, that wasn’t it.

[@expat1250090]

Susan you are amazing and I really appreciate you making these videos! Your advice is stellar and you're bang on the money. Going on another date tomorrow with someone I've been dating for 3 months. We spend a lot of time together but both of us keep pulling away as soon as we feel we're getting too close. Will muster up the courage tomorrow finally to let him know how I feel about him. Will keep it classy, natural and honest! No matter what the outcome will be, I know that I will have done the right thing. Thank you so much for your wisdom and for giving me the courage which I didn't believe I had.

[@distantstorm3808]

I wish I could agree that playing it cool isn't a good idea. I've never experienced a positive result from making my feelings known. Once I did, the conquest and mystery was over for them, which left them bored and not concerned about trying to "win" me over anymore. It's infuriating because it has always robbed me of the joy of expressing myself and my feelings.

[@jannieschluter9670]

Your message is consistent and clear throughout all your videos: "Be honest, be direct, be clear!"

[@eatermckinnon4644]

girls don't like that. Once a guy opens up, then the girls play hot and cold games.

[@jannieschluter9670]

@@eatermckinnon4644 Those 'girls' are not the target, they don't have the skillset for love or meaningful relationship.

[@tiffanybrown1001]

I appreciate this...and at the same time, I know that being too eager can make some people feel overwhelmed. There's this guy who said he liked me. And yes, that gave me permission to like him. And then I wanted to text him all the time after that. But I noticed that he did not want to be in that much contact. So I exercised a lot of restraint. It was rough.

[@asdax8311]

This is the dating video I should've seen more than 10 years, ago. Playing it cool pushed away the one & only girl who ever showed me the love & attention that could've turned into a relationship. Now she found a boyfriend & here I am, struggling to find somebody online; No matter how many messages I send, no matter how much time I take to look over a profile & start a conversation, my existence just goes to "read" & I become the one in a thousand guys pursuing her. Such a blow to my confidence that makes me question, "am I even worthy to be a boyfriend/husband someday?".

[@DivineProphetessCoral]

Write her a long gushy message. Tell her how much she means to you. Tell her how much you regret how you treated her and that you are sorry.

[@gerr2035]

So how do you do damage control when you have played it cool and things backfired and now no one is communicating?

[@kristenmoonrise]

Apologize, learn from your mistakes, move on, and do things differently next time.

[@hersheykisseys]

Yesss so me

[@DivineProphetessCoral]

Do people struggle with basic etiquette like apologising and honesty?

[@VVeeezer]

So true!!! I played it cool today when I should have been direct, my warm friendly self. I totally over compensated in the wrong direction (and it was probably so obvious!). Words to live by Susan Winters! Thank you for sharing your gifts with the World 💞

[@SusanWinter]

Louise N Thank you 🙏🏻 for the kind words Louise.

[@gogofriday]

You're the best, Susan! So eloquent and clear, and always so right. I wish I had found your channel years ago.

[@sebsebseb1905]

Honest to God, I showed this girl I trully cared after 1.5 moths of dating, she showed me earlier, she knew, but let's say I made it clear and she ran.. just like that. I think an ex came back, but I felt so shitty and I miss her so badly.

[@girlcalledmango]

Im so crazy happy that i found your fabulous videos. Im a subscriber now! And your brilliant words have reaffirmed to me that i have to make a move on a guy ive had chemistry with (but we've not spoken to each other) for the past two years. im changing that pronto!

[@RH-ul2bc]

Susan, i just found your channel the other day. I love your advice. Its feels so sound. I met a man a few months ago online who wanted different things but we met anyway because we were both curious about each other. Afterwards he pummeled me with compliments and adoration. Even after our first meet, all these feelings were swirling around. Took me by surpirse. I never considered he was a player but i did ask him about his expressiveness and he said he likes to express what he feels. Our differences were that he wanted a family and i am in perimenopause so i cant give him that. I quickly called an end to it even though he really swept me away. All i could see was major heartbreak down the road for me. It was too bad because I really liked talking to him. I felt his over expressiveness was a red flag. He didnt even know me yet and i felt it was irresponsible of him too considering he knew we weren't a match long term.

[@candice004]

I LOVE this advice! Exactly what I needed to hear right now. Please do more on this topic! Thank you, Susan! ❤️

[@tatjanag.l.2919]

Wow! Just find out your videos by chance! I'm impressed! Thank you for your work and efforts! Regards from Switzerland

[@SusanWinter]

Tatjana G.L. Hello Switzerland!! Welcome to my KZbin family!!

[@nadinest5617]

Your advice is so amazing. Thank you Susan. Every video I watch hits just what I needed to know and I can apply and navigate. This one reminded me to be authentic and truly show up! Happy Holidays to you and yours.

[@Esztella6]

I am so glad you said that because it just confirms my believe that being authentic is the way to go forward no matter how guys respond to it.

[@naturalnubieuk2436]

You are absolutely right. This is what I'm about. I needed to be reminded of this. Thank you

[@luulips]

Great advice!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

[@luulips]

Susan Winter I believe this is what happened in my relationship with my younger man. Felt like he was playing it cool so much to the point where he was playing games and I had to call him out on it. Things really shook up after that. I got angry he seemed nervous though he said he wasn't playing. We became distant and faded away a few months ago. I'm still sad about it.

[@SusanWinter]

I'm sorry to hear that. It's a defense mechanism that some people employ in order to hide how much they care. It can create real problems, as you discovered. You know-if this is really bothering you you could just call him and tell them how you feel: that you miss him I need like to start over. Think about it. And if it's fine the way it is now, that's good too. I appreciate your note.

[@luulips]

Susan Winter Thanks so much for replying. I will give it some thought.

[@SusanWinter]

luulips whatever feels right to you, is the right choice. Wishing you well!

[@kevinn6996]

Finally, a real person with real advice. Thank you Susan!

[@jesilynne]

Your advice is so wonderful and refreshing. I'm so glad I found your videos. Thank you!! I recently went out on three dates with a guy and I really like him. It has fizzled out, as he hasn't asked me out again, and seems pretty clearly not interested. However, I feel like maybe the reason is because I "played it cool." Because I liked him so much, I tried so hard to hide it, and wasn't my real self (after the 1st date.) Do you think this can be salvaged? I kind of want to tell him how much I like him, but am stopping myself, as he seems to have made his lack of interest pretty clear. I would love your advice!!

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Jesilynne. Thank you for your kind words. And here's the best part of my message: you're right on target. Yes, the thing you fear the most is the thing you need to do. You have nothing to lose. He's gone. So why not give it a shot and let him know you'd like to see him again. That you felt you didn't show him your best self, and that you were playing it 'cool' because your feelings were actually the opposite. You'd need to be very direct, and admit that you liked him. That you're sorry you defaulted to trying to hide it. I think it's worth the effort. Either way, you'll feel an immense boost of confidence is speaking up and being so empowered. Let me know what happens!

[@reynagomez6936]

awwwwww . .. I just did what u just said and it works!! I was just being honest and told him how I feel about the game he's playing He apologize it won't happen again , and he'll respect me more Thank YOU I don't watch no other videos but yours !!

[@SusanWinter]

Reyna!! This is wonderful. I'm so happy you've shared this with me. I wish you love and happiness.

[@kristenmoonrise]

Once I came across Susan's videos literally no other relationship "guru" could compare. Everyone sounds boring!

[@lisairions8835]

hello Susan again a fantastic video you're right we all have a tendency to do that because we're afraid to show too much thinking the other person will think that we are not worth pursuing. Thank you

[@SusanWinter]

I know. It's a bit of a mess. No one wants to be rejected. No one wants to appear needy. I simply tell a person I like them. Then, I walk away. Or, change the subject. It's a breadcrumb. I think many of us have become polarized in either being too cautions and self-editing, or not discerning enough to pick up the cues of non-interest. Thanks for your comment Lisa, and for watching.

[@lisairions8835]

I look forward to your information and I'm taking your book with me on my vacation tomorrow pretty excited about reading that in Cabo

[@SusanWinter]

Wonderful to hear. Thanks Lisa Irions

[@takde]

Thank you! I have been seeing someone casually, and yes at first we never texted back and forth, but then I started to see that when I text him, he is very responsive. It works.... and no games.

[@kristyy2488]

And how is it now?

[@takde]

@@kristyy2488 pretty good. We're official now. :)

[@kristyy2488]

@@takde happy for you, and it's a positive sign I am getting..

[@kristyy2488]

@@takde I never trust casually dating or say I don't dare to go casual myself,fear of being hurt eventually. But I guess nowadays, this seems to be the only way to step out

[@takde]

@@kristyy2488 I felt the same way for 3 years of being single. I had to really reflect on myself and my needs. I also stopped putting a lot of expectations on others. Meditate and be patient. To ask everything from someone is asking too much. Understand yourself first before you start dating. Enjoy it and let things happen. ❤

[@kermitTheFrog466]

this is such incredible advice! thanks Susan

[@Martha-LaMexa]

Wow I think you are absolutely right! I’m learning so much from your channel!!!!Thank you!💕☺️🏆

[@jezabel279]

I just found this video and it's amazing!!! I've been thinking about this concept and I got to the same conclusion Susan!! Playing cool creates more playing games meanwhile if you are honest to this person it's more likely that them open up too. Thanks for your vid!

[@garyprendergast1174]

Thank you so much..i know its been a lot of years since this vid.was made & had a comment replied (so i dont expact you to notice this comment)but your vid.just helped me bigtime..hope all is well with ya..thank you again..

[@brookesanders1621]

Brilliant as usual - I'm so glad I've found you. I love your videos 😊🌹♥️

[@kimanndoherty6951]

You should call this, Susan's Evolved Dating advice! So sick of all that other stuff..on youtube..it is all about the energy you are putting out!

[@SusanWinter]

You're correct, Kim Ann. THANK YOU!!!! Happy to have you in my KZbin family!

[@wakeforest2871]

@@SusanWinter so when someone ends the relationship ,the other person should forget no contact and pour out they're feelings? Hmm, what what that even do to the other whom left you..make them.change their mind suddenly..dont think so.

[@wakeforest2871]

So pour your heart and feeling out to someone who dumped you?..not sure that works..and goes against everything ALL the other coaches are saying..confused

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Kim Ann Doherty,your lovely smile can make the news

[@Kdog123123]

Yeah, I did this game playing shit recently and lost out; ghosting, only give 20% … now she's with another dude. Shouldn't of started watching these utube videos. This one makes perfect sense. Thank You Susan, your speaking right to me.

[@zapphireqvq8954]

Other youtube videos also destroyed by relationship

[@julied915]

Great video! I will be direct😀

[@lioydwilliams1850]

jules,hope you are not with a narcissist!

[@Melissa-jl2zb]

So good. Not “vulnerability” but “direct”

[@neilliu7866]

Susan ,this helps me so much ,thank you .

[@gerganakukleva8462]

Susan, your videos are great!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you!

[@whisperingwind7730]

Another AWESOME video and so true!!! 👍🏻😆 Thank U Susan for being so direct and telling us like it REALLY is out there in the dating world. U have helped me so much and I am truly thankful for U!!🙏🏻☺️ Much love~ 🌬💗

[@littlemisseyface]

This is brilliant! Absolutely spot on

[@cancermoonoracles]

Love your content Susan. Direct yes i love that it speaks straight to me

[@kristinasparakowski2497]

So true and powerful! Love u, Susan !!!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Kristina!

[@deboraheden6418]

That was the best advice I’ve heard on this topic thank you so much 💜

[@lke4907]

Your wisdom shines!!!

[@chynanhua5562]

Thank you for setting this one straight.

[@Iguanchik]

I've noticed something about myself...please help me clarify this!!! I act 'normal', friendly, and fun, outgoing with a man UNTIL I figure out that I'm attracted to him! At which point I lose my mind, freeze up, stop or minimize interaction, and/or walk away when I run into him someplace. WHY DO I ACT LIKE THIS??? please help!

[@smiletown5201]

Another fabulous video! Since my break up I joined a dating site, once we'd exchanged phone numbers, I very quickly got savvy to the 'playing it cool' texts I received, I couldn't believe it when I looked to see if you'd posted a video on this, and there it was lol...so I applied my own technique...which incorporates your video on 'playing games' so this guy had already spoken to me on the phone and told me he likes to 'treat em mean to keep em keen' and English phrase, not sure if you've heard of this before, but you most probably have..anyway long story short, he decided not to bother to reply to my texts, so then when I didn't reply...I got the ' hey your'e very quiet' to which I replied btw I don't respond to 'treat em mean to keep em keen' and added a smiley emoji at the end to keep it fun and light..he then said "not even a little bit mean?" to which I replied " Nope, play that game with me...and it's game over...your move!" Oh and I also added a quote from your video and said "just so you know, I don't play on anyone's game board" and guess what....it worked!! How utterly fabulous is that?? Thank you Susan!!

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Kate. I'm sorry to return this later rather than sooner. Not all the comments show up in notifications. You did a great job!! I don't know where he's getting his dating advice but it clearly doesn't work with a grounded, self-aware women. We teach men how to interact with us. If they can be an adult, we respond. If they can't, we don't. You're right. Let him play games with other's who like games. You don't have time for nonsense, nor for men who fancy nonsense. He has a choice: show up clean and you'll get kindness and warmth. Play games, and you'll walk away. it's simple, It's up to him. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! EXCELLENT. I'm proud of you.

[@yorikocherry1558]

Kat was

[@AxelSituation]

The "Anti-Rules"....I love it!

[@lstgerard12]

Omg!!!! Thank you so much for this! I'm so tired of hearing people giving stupid advices on "playing it cool!!!"" And so tired of stupid games! Just be real, it always pays off!

[@ngocnhophamthi24]

Thank you!

[@PoweredbyJESUS7]

The issue is if you don’t play it a little cool then you come across as to available to the other person. It’s bad to purposely wait and play that game of not texting then back right away when you can but it’s also not good to be to available as for some reason that makes people lose interest. People like to be kept on there toes.

[@shivrajnimbalkar7239]

Advice for life**God bless you 🙂

[@BarbaraSzorad]

Love this advice! Thank you!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks Barb!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Barbara Szorad,hope you are with a good man

[@dizzylizzie9091]

Susan, I did everything you said and it worked perfectly. It created an instant phone call and sharing the we 'like' each. BUT he didn't ask me out during that call. What gives?

[@Terapie_Lesem]

This makes sense, however, what if being honest is contradicting the male approach that they have to chase you? If they know that you like them, they do not have to put any effort and they will lose their interest quickly...

[@SusanWinter]

Interesting question. The real 'chase' was always to secure sex. Knowng that you were interested was the bait to lure the chase. It's a question of pace and timing..

[@Terapie_Lesem]

Thank you for your comment :) So I guess it probably means that either I appear to be too intense or they are not that interested in first place..

[@SusanWinter]

Go with your gut. YOu're the only one who's there to read the situation.

[@crawfish069]

Most men don't like to chase so don't assume what an individual wants. Ask him if he likes women that are more direct and who don't play games.

[@factsondeck1552]

Chasing is for animals. You can’t be that dumb that you believe men like or should chase you. Thats kinds sociopathic and doubt any man wants that long term.

[@ellen5004]

Real talk..i really love it!

[@roumaisastasaid2516]

I just love you. Your logic is perfect 💜💜💜

[@yacovmitchenko1490]

As for the enjoyment derived from "being liked", I agree with you. But the question to ask is: Who is liking whom? Perhaps initially, I may have my vanity stroked if so and so likes me, but it may easily become repellent, if the person expresses it too frequently or is a fat slob or has no sense of mission. A fine man who expresses like once in a while is that much more valuable because (a) he possesses fine qualities and (b) because expresses it fairly sparingly. So it depends on context.

[@stupid60230]

Susan you are just so very amazing 🥺

[@ritamargherita]

Not so much about playing it cool, but in my experience, if a guy is very good at flirting, then he is just that, a good flirt. If a guy on the other hand is developing true feelings, he will be slightly nervous and awkward around you, and not quite as polished as he might like to be :)

[@erosv7054]

Susan you just described the phrase “love bombing” when players shower love and affection early on to hook someone emotionally

[@jaimemaniglia2594]

Great point Susan and in my point of view you also see how's past mature regarding relationships. Just to clarify it's my own point of view

[@cherylcuttineau7916]

Wished I had heard this last summer!

[@user-yv1fh3fc8y]

When she played hard to get, I realized that she set the precedence for our relationship and I felt alone in my passion 😦

[@malgkur]

If the other person is not willing to show up you are there alone and frustrated anyway.

[@B3RLIN030]

Susan u r amazing.. I love ur advice and it’s so true, when I would get a text from my SP I would wait like 20-30 min b4 I reply just so I wouldn’t come across as needy.. so childish n stupid 🤦‍♀️I’m in my 40’s n thx to ur teachings I realized I don’t hv time for bullshit games. I’m done w all that..

[@ro11up]

Thankyou for this message Susan :-)

[@Oktaviii]

I’m open to people but when they starting to distance themselves I do too. So I like the advice not to do it right away.

[@marivimoya7487]

I get it! However if you ask a question or state a concern. The person text you back the next day with “really”? There’s no need to respond.. to just “ really”!

[@georgekenya7867]

I love you Susan coz you are my mentor,,am single not yet married neither am not in any relationship am 25yrs but l love your videos their have educated me alot,,,, I have the Idea and experience of the true relationship supposed to be dear,,, Hopefully this year I will get the right partner God bless you Susan

[@eveheart2876]

You right about players and narcissistic person 2

[@SonyCamry]

I want to do this bt don't want to be seen as needy?

[@call2tawheed870]

This has got to be the best advice ever!!

[@saradyer9124]

Brilliant. Thank you again. 😘

[@crisj7704]

OMG where have you been all my life? I need this advice years ago!!

[@namastewellness]

When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.

[@cosmopolitanbay9508]

There's this line from a movie that pops up in my mind "Now go, but not too fast coz you'll work up a sweat"

[@Taryn101]

Hi Susan - How do you know if someone is playing it cool or if it's hot and cold? I was seeing someone and he does exactly what you said...waits to respond to my text (usually an hour or two). It drives me crazy, so I play it back. It's exhausting! We started to become closer & have amazing chemistry. But it is definitely a game of cat and mouse. I don't want to play that game anymore. He sent me a text on Monday. I just sent him a text this morning and probably won't hear back for awhile. I'm thinking it's too late to rekindle.

[@SusanWinter]

hI Taryn. Here's my suggestion to know what type of guy you have here: Text back as soon as you get his message. No delay. When you stop playing the cat and mouse, he'll have one of two choices: continue to play or stop the game. It may take a few days or a week for him to realize you're not playing anymore. But only then will you know the kind of man your dealing with. So give him the opportunity to show up 'real' by your being 'real.' Best wishes!!

[@Taryn101]

Susan Winter it worked! He text me back and said he wants to see me. :). Great advice, I will definitely stop the game and be responsive.

[@SusanWinter]

I'm happy about this!!!!

[@myrahouse2368]

😔this is exactly what I do. That’s sooo true about the players I’ve been pursued so many times and believed it as it felt good.

[@curguzivana9119]

Bravo! Thank you!!!👏👏👏

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Curguz Ivana, you got a lovely smile

[@MrMoodyKSA]

I have this girl that I know for 2-3 years. I had shown her interest but she seems very guarded. In a way that turned me off so I stopped showing her interests and continued dating someone else.

[@sunflowers2469]

10 1001 1010 I’m so sorry, ma’am