Dating Rules Every Man Needs To Know - Blaine Anderson

[@ChrisWillx]

Hello you savages. Get 30% off Create Creatine Gummies at trycreate.co/wisdom Get Magic Spoon's brand-new Protein-packed Treats in your nearest grocery store. Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first box at drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get a 20% discount & free shipping on your Lawnmower 5.0 at manscaped.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Can Women Give Men Dating Advice? 01:42 Do Women Want to Make the First Move? 07:37 How Common is Male Approach Anxiety? 14:05 Opening Lines That Actually Work 21:19 How Can Men Stand Out? 24:19 Best Online Dating Platforms 27:10 Designing the Perfect Profile 39:16 How to Text More Effectively 44:10 Best Practices for First Dates 53:07 Biggest Red Flags on Dates 1:01:00 Good Places to Approach Women At 1:13:21 Is Fear of Creepiness Holding Men Back? 1:20:08 Tips for Being More Charismatic 1:25:40 Are Men Struggling With Loneliness? 1:31:51 How Can Hopeless Guys Turn it Around? 1:42:12 Do Smart Guys Struggle With Dating? 1:49:29 Traits That Women Prioritise 1:55:47 Where to Find Blaine

[@bluSPECTRE]

thank you!

[@evegeniyatsingova4123]

Yes, yes, yes, yes… nodding 😉

[@anomalyraven]

27:10 Designing the Perfect Profile, is something I haven't been able to do for years, so I kind of just opted out of dating apps. The struggle I need to address first is making friends, because how am I supposed to get photos of myself if all I have is myself? I was aware of the "no selfies-rule" before this but since it got brought up it just confirmed my beliefs. I guess I could buy a tripod and make some solo photo-shoots, but it's going to be revealed one way or the other that I have no social life. I used to have a social life when I was drinking, but it wasn't the kind of friends I wanted to surround myself with and I developed a bad habit with the drinking. Now that I'm sober I took away those opportunities. I still go out on adventures and stuff, but I'm always alone and I think that desperation of wanting a connection is haunting me everywhere I go, since all my attempts at making friends gets ignored, thwarted and forgotten. It's a defeating feeling I've been unable to shake for soon 20 years.

[@Arcidi225]

Just started listening, and holy shit your voice in this one is deep.

[@JohnnyBoy021]

Can we get Richard Branson on the pod?

[@TRWS3]

If she can’t appreciate my level 61 Nightingale Half-Elf Shadow Mage, I question her knowledge of Evergloam

[@BourgeoisBazer]

I liked that joke

[@bazinguy7779]

😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼

[@justinbrockway7044]

Currently rocking level 39 orc werewolf/vampire lord rocking full snow elf armor and the jagged crown. No big deal. She wouldn’t appreciate it 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@notloki3377]

swag

[@cocoruse]

What women say they want and what they actually want (through their actions) can be two very different things.

[@AndyStitzer]

In many cases, their actions are the exact opposite of what they say

[@isaiahmacadam]

Only a 1:17 but they’re totally missing the mark on the criticism about women giving advance on dating women. Has nothing to do with misogyny.

[@TheHunterDD33]

@@edgar9651 Some don’t but believe me some do. I’m talking to one now and she says that I should drive because men are better at driving. Small example but valid. Another one admits that women find men that get multiple women more attractive than someone who doesn’t

[@TheHunterDD33]

@@edgar9651 I agree with you on that

[@HighlifeLuna]

What women say they want: Everything. What they actually want: Their Father. Prove me wrong

[@FrenchDog69]

Her: “this is how men can attract women” Chris: “IN OTHER NEWS” “CREATINE!” 😂💀

[@tpl2023]

🤣

[@PerspectiveLove]

so damn sick of these ads, ruins the flow of the conversation

[@Ozmogul]

Agree completely, I hate these ads. I've got a paid subscription because I don't want to see ads - I get that Chris (and other content creators) probably don't see any of these money - but I don't care. I paid to get rid of ads - ALL ads. The result of in-talk ads, is that I immediately skip forward, and I often miss some of the following conversation. And in the worst cases, (and Chris you're getting close, dude), I stop subscribing

[@AnonymousAnonymous-ht4cm]

@@Ozmogul If you are watching in a browser, you could try sponsorblock. Someone has contributed 4 skips for this video which automatically skip forward the right amount for those parts. (On mobile that might only work if you are viewing the video on firefox + android.) On desktop, it should work for any browser.

[@staracer9414]

@@Ozmoguli figured out that muting the video helps me maintain a train of thought

[@alihaydar728]

I am 22 minutes in and this episode triggered my fight or flight 15 times already

[@DaVinciwithaphaser]

12 min for me.

[@bazinguy7779]

36 minutes in and very much feeling the same.

[@3dakainsane]

Same I wasn't even 15 minutes in and I heard her say in so many words " Yea its unfortunate, guys have to do all the heavy lifting, risk rejection etc but that's just the way it is" get over it (based on our biology 😂) but I wouldn't say one person has it easier. It's just "different"

[@FrankBrennosTheGreatest]

As soon as I heard "dating coach for men" I was done. You don't ask the fish for fishing advice.

[@yashtapase3821]

😂😂😂😂 Same

[@jgtl1000s]

As a first responder working OT and swing shifts who has time to do all this. All this advice is for professional men that are established in their careers and now want to start a family. Also creepiness level will always be directly correlated with attractiveness level and can't convince me otherwise

[@jorgetinoco3574]

In reality there is no time or money for it, that's why most people settled

[@KCass-fe9kv]

Maybe just try adding in one thing at a time… you don’t have to do all the things all at once. Small changes can have big impacts in your life. Make a small interaction everyday with someone… get out of your comfort zone…

[@classactracing]

Women used to play hard to get but now they are hard to want.

[@itscarmine]

This deserves minimum 8.9K likes

[@alextheTrex8231]

That is tough and true. The social media feminist movements and Me Too movements really messed up so much of our normal interactions. On top of that, COVID threw in a huge gap for many on the socializing front. As a female who was against the whole feminist thing and who is okay with a more evolutionarily average guy (if I'm allowed to say that) I really noticed the huge kickback from men not wanting to interact with women anymore out of fear and something simulating discomfort or constant comparisons. My favorite mottos are "Everything Matters" and 'We are equal but not the same". Both genders are important and are of equal value to each other and thus there is no point in holding comparative competitions all the time. The best we can do is strive to be kind humans who do enough to give back what the world invested in us and help organize our houses and then our communities and be open enough to allow interactions with men and women and cautious enough to choose which we allow in our lives. On the side, someone in the comments above-mentioned women don't know how to flirt anymore. I feel like this is at least 50% true. Does anyone know where to find the reverse video? Lol.

[@dmitryshevchenko349]

Weak

[@toutounr8120]

Huh??

[@daniellilly7564]

Honestly, I suspect that the amount of attention women have been receiving has plummeted in recent years. Your statement could not be truer. As men, we are told so many conflicting things around women; In pursuit of the truth I have lost my mind. My conclusion is that it's all smoke and mirrors, it's just a game to them. All that empathy goes right out the window. I think we all assume that all women are kind and good because our mothers were this way, but this is not true. I have come to find that women can be extremely shallow and, not only lack sympathy, but harbor disdain for men over the pettiest of things. Honestly, it's kind of broken me. This world isn't kind. Keep close to the people who love you.

[@theguy1633]

Im 20 minutes in, I do intend on watching the whole thing but as a guy it basically feels like she’s saying “Women have it just as hard as guys do. But also, in the initial stages it’s the guys job to do all of the work, women don’t need to do anything, and if a guy gets emotionally hurt from trying he just needs to suck it up.” I understand women have their legitimate issues in the dating world but this feels pretty dismissive. Maybe I’m just sensitive idk

[@angeltrustlove]

don't doubt yourself, your observation is spot on

[@pondracek]

At the end of the day, the takeaway is that women *want* to be approached. Either you accept it, or you bitch about it and join the foreveralone club alongside me.

[@bigz5262]

It’s probably a bit of both. You’re right about your assessment but also you’re too sensitive. Being a man all throughout human history has always been harder than being a woman. Life’s not fair

[@FelipeDeLeo]

​@@pondracekThe same women that curse and beat you when you do so

[@khrisdavis1944]

Dude you’re right on 👍🏾 I was thinking the same thing and being very fair about the plight of women in my analysis. But at the end it seems like the message is men need to stfu and make shit happen. As if women have no part in the currently environment that we all live in today. Good on you. I think you’re being very fair.

[@Pikawarps]

“95% of women want to be approached” what they don’t say is they want CHAD to approach them

[@ReverendDr.Thomas]

BINGO!

[@MichelMichelMann]

That's not true. You don't need to be a muscular superman to be good enough for approaching. Be well-groomed and charming and that's already most of it.

[@rafresendenrafresenden.1644]

I dont understand the gay obssesion with this chad

[@ShieldEntertainment]

Then become chad? what's the problem

[@colinschmitt6571]

Aka you shower, are funny, and respect them as a person

[@JimSelfisHere]

If you're at the point where you want men to take comedy classes, do improv, and watch movies to improve their game, you gotta admit you're putting the burden on the man. The effort and challenge is not symmetrical at all.

[@jasonu3741]

Imagine aliens evaluated human mating in the west and compared it to any other culture or species. I cant imagine they wouldnt think "why does 1 of the sexes want the world and in return will provide a biological function"

[@r4lfxd]

It is a kingmaker system. You either do this and put effort, or have those who do take your lunch and leave you with the crumbs. And the joke is, the guys who do all this do it for themselves not women, they get them as a byproduct. It just takes changing your perspective.

[@JimSelfisHere]

@@r4lfxd Agreed! But I don't like it represented as anything else. It's better to tell men that they will get the women at whatever level they put themselves.

[@lonzo61]

I agree that some of this advice is ridiculous, but on the other hand and addressing your point, hasn't it for the most part been the man who is trying to attract the attention of the woman? In nature, it absolutely is this way. Look how the male of many species of birds (Bower birds, as one such salient example) or mammals is to strut around and do some kind of display or other to get the attention of would-be mates. Certainly, with Homo sapiens, it's more varied and perhaps often more subtle than in the animal world. But men still generally have to gain the attention of the female...generally. That might be expressed by feats of athleticism, intelligence, humor, courage, or demonstrating some skill or other. Or, the dude just has to make it readily apparent to the lady that he has a helluva package! Knowuddamean?

[@repdale]

As an ugly man, watching two beautiful people talk about relationships is disheartening

[@kakarotwolf]

🎯

[@graigmuhlhahn3103]

So date somebody that's in your league

[@admiraleveleigh8573]

@@repdale real

[@JayKayKay7]

I alway think of Danny Devito. Charisma trumps pretty any time.

[@admiraleveleigh8573]

@@JayKayKay7 it’s not charisma, it’s money. If Danny Devito was a cab driver he’d be the angriest incel on the internet 😂😂😂

[@iCantSay]

Give her a 7/10 dude's tinder account, and if she can get him dates I'll be convinced.

[@bazinguy7779]

Seconded

[@AnonymousOne1111]

Highly underrated comment. Zero chance of success if it was livestreamed.

[@dsds3968]

Then give her a 5/10 and see how that goes.

[@BS_Profile]

Exactly. I would be more impressed with a 5/10. Or go the full blown Norah Vincent route. Dress as a man and approach women using her own advice. If she can consistently get one date per week (meaning the woman actually shows up) then I would be extremely impressed.

[@benlechter]

7 psl would be easy

[@M0cambo]

This chick is married to a multi-millionaire tech bro in Austin, take that as you will.

[@charliefox9573]

Yeah I'm getting a vibe that she was never marrying a mechanic on $50k.

[@kc270352]

and what if she is, why is it a problem?, is it really that hard for you guys to understand that women like men who are successful and financially stable, stop complaining about other people's riches and level yourself up

[@M0cambo]

@@kc270352 As I said, take that as you will. 🤷‍♂

[@dimkachum]

@@kc270352no one implied it was a problem until you did. Instructions were to take it as you will. And you took it as a problem. It’s possible to think about something you observe past the initial judgment that enters your mind.

[@markd4768]

$$$$$$$$❤

[@oatenroberts]

So she starts off by saying men don’t have it harder in the dating game … 2 minutes later she contradicts herself by saying it’s the man that has to pluck up the courage, risk rejection and do all the work. And this is an expert? Don’t waste your money. You can’t make this stuff up.

[@SocietyIsCollapsing]

This video doesn't even make it onto my "will only watch this if there's literally nothing else to watch" list. Chris should have her and Better Bachelor on at the same time. Interesting like:dislike ratio (get the Return KZbin Dislikes" extension, folks)

[@Ayaymeer]

@@SocietyIsCollapsingcan you tell me what the dislikes are at? I don’t have that extension

[@jessicadeluca4591]

Typically woman are not only gauging if the man will find them attractive but also if they’re a safe man to be around. I’d say based on that alone men have a lesser risk. The humiliation is awful for both but women have an in built “but what if he stalks me/hurts me physically” instinct that is hard to shake and we still get it wrong. As they say in the interview, the more you do it the less awkward it will be and the more comfortable you will be able to make her so she trusts you’re not psycho. Men aren’t usually physically threatened by women.. just a thought.

[@andyvirus2300]

@@Ayaymeer33% dislike

[@sammy489]

Shit is hilarious

[@curtisdecoste9345]

Step one: Be attractive to her. Congratulations, you’ve graduated my one step program. 🤣

[@aaronsmithjr.5505]

Where is the book to this program?🥸

[@DatingByBlaine]

Some women will never like you. Period. FORGET those women. If you have a great vibe, are fun, take care of yourself, and invest in yourself (things in YOUR control) you have everything you need for a solid dating life and can attract plenty of women if you're doing the right things. Your job is to do the right things and find those women. Or not. And continue to be alone and complain about it on the internet. The choice is yours.

[@curtisdecoste9345]

@@DatingByBlaine thanks for your “advice” but I’ve been happily married for nearly 13 years now. 🤣

[@vklnew9824]

​@@DatingByBlaine Crock of bs

[@nappybiscuit]

​@DatingByBlaine It truly is that simple. As a father, it breaks your heart that no one asks her to the dance.

[@shivamkatale5909]

No BS This is how you can attract girls 1) be rich 2) be handsome 3) have good sence of humor and communication skill 4) be in top 10-20% males ( 80% women show their interest only in top 20% males)

[@KookinHaole]

just making $100k a year can do most of the heavy lifting.

[@cmhardin37]

​I'm about to but don't see things changin. I'm also told almost daily I look like ben affleck. Guess I can't communicate but really I just want a 9 or 10 or nothingg​@@KookinHaole

[@HenrySomeone]

For genuine attraction looks are BY FAR number one.

[@LouSilver-g9r]

I may be your exeception that proves your rule .... seven years rich divorced own a home, no second dates....

[@LouSilver-g9r]

also in great shape, good looking, successful, bmw, etc, etc,

[@mattc2032]

I found this to be one of the most exhausting episodes you’ve had, but I couldn’t stop listening.

[@3dakainsane]

Literally infuriating. Had to watch it segments.

[@KJ-pu8dw]

The hard line truth is that the difference between the confident charismatic guy that approaches the girl and the creepy loser is if she finds you physically attractive.

[@blackjackjester]

You do realize one of the major parts of dating is understanding where you actually are, and how you personally interact up front If you look like Jon Hamm you can literally not say anything. If you look like Steve Buscemi you need to take a less up front approach. You gotta play your game, and that isn't the same for everyone.

[@wowomah6194]

Honestly, true SOMETIMES but the harder reality is that a lot of guys just don't know how to talk to women. They think too hard about it and also it's just a matter of fact that some guys either suck at conversations, suck at flirting, or have no charisma.

[@maritahartmann591]

Before dating you need to improve yourself, and you will attract an equal. If there's nothing interesting about you, you will attract a boring brainless woman. Take time to work on your own life.

[@d.e.b.b5788]

As per Iliza Schlesinger herself in one of her videos. If you're not attractive to her, than any attention you show her, will make you seem like a creep. Basically, men have NO way to know until we try. And then it's too late.

[@vincentlandry1973]

​@@UserRobot215 I'm 5,7 and I start losing my hair at 23 to the point where I need to shave it completely, you know what I told myself instead of crying ? It surely ain't gonna do me bad to have a sixpack. And now I feel great, because I'm doing something difficult, I need to go to the gym, watch what I eat, etc. All the girls around me start to tell me that I seem different, in a really positive way and yeah I look better now and buy myself son clothes that fits me better, but at the end, it's the fact that I work hard, care for myself and do the best with what've got, that make the big difference in what I project. Girls are about feels. I honestly hope that on day you find the force that I found, to love yourself before the other 🙏❤️.

[@Dacrada]

"Be authentically you," but also curate yourself - digitally and IRL - in a VERY specific way...O.o Hard to square that circle.

[@truthdetector4036]

just say that you're an accountant that helps dogs find homes in your dating profile. you'll be all set

[@adamjackson4681]

Is sales and marketing just a foreign concept? The material matters, keep the material authentic. How you present it also matters, probably as much, if not more than the material itself. Present it in a way that people will be receptive to. It's not rocket science.

[@f.schmid468]

You only can be authentic and attractive if your authentic self is attractive, duh?!😂 It's so simple yet equally hard for both sexes😂

[@bg5215]

She is right about the eye contact thing. The problem is, she seems to not realize that probably over half of males NEVER receive eye contact from women.

[@Samuel-vw2wy]

That’s only true if you never leave your house. That isn’t over half of men, it’s a small minority.

[@kst2154]

​@@Samuel-vw2wyeven if you go out a Lot it's very complicated ,only if you are atractive

[@Robomatix]

Timestamp?

[@BS_Profile]

Even then, how is the guy supposed to know that she likes the fact that he's looking or if she thinks he's "creepy" for looking? Just a rhetorical question to illustrate the point that it's all a big stupid game that's rigged against you and the goal posts are always moving.

[@HenrySomeone]

Yeah, I'm objectively above average (6'4'', athletic build, decent (but not great) face, most of my hair) and only get it here and there. Only the most attractive guys get it regularly.

[@phillconklin382]

This chick doesn't get it. Being rejected is enough of a reason not to do it. You don't need to be socially exposed, ridiculed, or any other crazy scenario for being rejected to not feel good. The fact that men have to take beating after beating after beating is precisely why we don't approach. Because every rejection leaves a mental and emotional scar, rather open wound and walking around with all these open wounds is not sustainable for one's mental health, peace, and happiness. I remember every single time I was rejected. Over the course of 38 years the toll is beyond taken, the toll is burying you alive and you feel like shit. Does it ever not occur to someone why men find it so easy to kill themselves? Because by the time they have reached that point all they have heard all their life is no. Playing a numbers game doesn't really lend itself to having hopes and dreams because those hopes and dreams are destroyed in the process.

[@reptilesgamers00]

Interestingly. Leanered helplessness - is a process of failing so much, you feel it doesn't matter what you do, things always end in failure. This definitely exists... But than again... how do sells man working door to door make any money? They get doors slammed in their face all the time dealing with extreme rejection. I wonder what's the difference on why rejection exposure helps toughen one man but create trauma in another man.

[@phillconklin382]

@@reptilesgamers00 I worked in door to door sales. It's what made me so sensitive to failure in part. Not being able to pay your bills for 3 months straight due to the rejection you faced will do that. The dating market is no different except it's a much more personal rejection. In door to door sales even if you had a success it didn't financially make up for the 30+ days of failures you had wracked up. Meaning there was no victories. Nothing to gain courage or encouragement from. Just breaking spirit after breaking spirit.

[@theperfectbeing]

@@reptilesgamers00 Have you ever seen the stats on those type of salesmen or any type of direct sales oriented job? Hell I worked as a personal trainer for years where 90% of your clientele comes from cold approaching people and striking up conversations with them and then trying to swing it in your direction. Has similar odds to that of dating where 90% of the time you're not even going to get a hint of interest and of the 10% who show interest the majority of them will flake out or change their mind. Some people simply aren't cut out for that salesman style approach, whether its business or romance.

[@AnthonyManzio]

I'm 56 introverted, never married, no kids, average looking, 5.10', 175lbs, got my condo, my car, got my stuff together and well off financially. I've decided to remain single ever since, all due to stupid smartphones and social media which has destroyed women and dating. Dating is dead. It's only about hookups. No thank you. It's not about relationships anymore. Before smartphones women would be approaching. Women today have zero values and are really not even happy and it seems women don't look or smile anymore and are all frustrated. They're all down on their stupid cell phones 24/7 and slacking on the job too on their cell phones. They even dress badly too, have fake eye laces, fake breasts, have botox, with cats and dogs, are not feminine, smoke, do drugs, drink and have tattoos and some with body piercings except on their earrings. They can't cook or clean. No woman seems to talk face to face anymore. Only texting and which is a big turn off. Today 80% of the women are not worth it. That's why I've given up on women.

[@venusian9695]

Bro, dont be such a weakling. I got rejected today 2 times but I had a good laugh afterwards because I can laugh at my mistakes. For example I was stuttering at the first which made her dry like the sahara. I was embarassed at first but you just have to talk to yourself like a good friend and can now laugh at it. The second one was immediately like: go away I dont want to talk to you. I was a bit hurt but man maybe shes a lesbian or thinks im a weirdo and I couldnt care less. You have to see it as practice and not so emotional. I know its hard dude but please dont give up theres a sexy girl with great humor waiting for you out there just have to plow through some rejections.

[@DavidWebsterAD]

The hard part about dating and eventually marriage is real life is work, work, work, work, kids, kids, kids, tired, tired, tired, weekend clean, weekend loose ends, Sunday rest but she wants to do something. So a man is looking for someone that can hang in there and understand staying together is hard.

[@phant0m92]

My grandparents have been together for 70 years. I'm not convinced 99.9% of couples pairing up today will have a chance of attaining half that. Social media has fucked with our expectations too much.

[@Greentippedweenie]

Wrong, put them in order the press repeat , you can’t turn it off

[@anthonypolito9784]

Once you’re married and have kids you can almost forget going to the gym or ever seeing your friends, I’m not sure I’m ok with that.

[@porvi8112]

@@anthonypolito9784 some like me have to make it happens one way or another by doing early morning gym sessions. It's how I'm available for the family in the evenings.

[@anthonypolito9784]

@@porvi8112 that’s good to hear

[@ThuDude1]

Despite how curious and intelligent Chris is, he has a few too many midwit guests on. I'm sure shes successful though. There's not a more reliable and easy cash source than lonely men. Salud.

[@the19Zabaniyah]

@@ThuDude1 i'll say this again, when you say "midwit guests" you are exclusively talking about when he has women or people you disagree with on the pod, news flash Chris isn't obligated to only bring on people who you ideologically aligne with, Just be honest that's the distinction.

[@orange4755]

@@the19Zabaniyah you can ideologically disagree with someone and still value their intelligence. What you said is objectively incorrect

[@blackjackjester]

There just aren't that many interesting people to talk to, to fill a full time podcast.

[@ThuDude1]

@@the19Zabaniyah or maybe those comment section clairvoyants that presume to know the thoughts and motivations of others with little to no evidence? Big midwit energy there for sure.

[@ThuDude1]

@@blackjackjester Especially at the rate he puts out content. It's not necessarily a criticism of Chris, just an observation. Some of these folks have big audiences too, so I understand wanting to capture those eyeballs.

[@anthonypolito9784]

I stopped putting women on the front of my mind. Some days are easier than others. I’m on an anti lust journey right now.

[@sdmcelroy]

I'm proud of you, brother

[@anthonypolito9784]

@@sdmcelroy wasn’t looking for praise but thank you brother ✊🏻

[@JocobsComments]

God mode.

[@dradamov]

Some successful dude once said "You can lose a lot of money chasing women, you will never lose women chasing money" - Im not saying money is everything but building foundation for thriving in this world and finding some satisfaction in it can bring some good.

[@EmileMac-fy5mh]

@@JocobsComments yes we are, and when we leave our bodies we will go alone.

[@MrSplcrazy]

Haha it's funny how in the first couple mins it's exposed how easy women have it. She opens bumble. Has 100 likes, of which 25 result in matches and from that she gets a date. If only she realised how easy she has it. There are men who I've seen who have right swiped on over a million recorded profiles, resulting in only a handful of matches, of which only about three actually message and from that they have got zero dates after years of effort. Men and women's struggles are on a different spectrum, men have it much much harder. She just has absolutely no idea.

[@scottkenyon3194]

She literally speaks to that in this episode. She also says to get off the apps and learn how to walk up to women in real life. I have straight up taken her advice and yea, Ive been rejected a bunch of times so far and its scary to walk up to a hot chick at the gym. But I think her advice is valid.

[@theperfectbeing]

@@scottkenyon3194 Her advice is valid but you have to craft a different type of persona and have an actual game plan for that type of thing. I did that style for years and it worked really well but that's only because I'm 6ft and was in fantastic shape. You have to know your strengths and lean into them and do so in an unapologetic manner. Most of the pushback you get isn't even genuine, it's simply a test to see how you respond. The problem with women like her is she will never be truly honest about the types of characteristic men possess that are actually attractive to the majority of women.

[@bicboi1930]

​@scottkenyon3194 like this girl I'm fwb with now keeps thinking I'm gonna seriously date her even though I told her from day 1 I just want to be friends. She's incredibly delusional like most women today but i dont feel bad because ive been honest from the start. I'm at least 3-4 points higher than her and she seriously thinks she has a chance to date me. I'd say it's funny but if this delusion didn't exist I would be much happier being fwb with girls 1-2 points lower than me.

[@bicboi1930]

​@@scottkenyon3194seriously bro just forget about approaching any girl who's less than 2 points beneath you because their delusional will disqualify you immediately

[@MrGamman3yt]

Quit chasing. Omg. This is basic. Build yourself. Do hobbies, be interestied in real things. Study, work, interests. They will approach you/let it be obv to approach them. They want to ride on your canoe. Be prepared, ready and able.

[@CasterMedicus]

Her evolution approach is something my psychology professor warned me in university about. She assumes something because it sounds for her logical and then it is stated as a fact.

[@Mattheus217]

@@CasterMedicus that is well said. Then the person can add ‘facts’ on top of the incorrect foundation. That’s called “pyramiding inferences” and you can build a whole false “case” that sort of sounds logical until you really attack the foundation The person is smug and has maybe distracted or hoodwinked you, but they are still wrong. They are afraid you will find out, or maybe they are delusional.

[@tracertongsdong2267]

"Teheheee... buy my confidence course fellas".

[@dant3175]

LMAO so true

[@kakarotwolf]

😂😂

[@WTHPOPL]

@@tracertongsdong2267 I wonder what percentage Chris will get from this?

[@bafa000]

haahah

[@CodyLarson121]

Clicked on this with a very open mind & I listen to a lot of Chris’s podcast, but I was over it in 30 seconds after she first described what she does with this booming confidence that she’s got us all figured out.

[@alshermond]

What year did Valley Girl become the default female dialect in the US?

[@natejuda6855]

IDK....I'm from the Valley.

[@Jay_Hendrix]

I like it

[@otherbarry2216]

The term is Vocal Fry and it was when Paris Hilton became famous

[@alshermond]

@@otherbarry2216 Love the term. Fits like a glove.

[@jasonlund6023]

Yaaasqueen hmmmmm it’s cringy

[@edmccullough7636]

2 hour conversation. The word market was used 22 times. The word love was never used. I didn’t realize I was a commodity. I’m changing my name to widget and I’m getting out of my heart and into my head once and for all. Thank you! You guys rock! 🙏😊🙏

[@NoMercy.62]

1:17 omg this has nothing to do with women. women HAVE it easier when it comes to dating thats not even debatable at this point.

[@SpecterVonBaren]

She even talks about how men need to do a lot of work over and over again yet doesn't seem to think this is hard.

[@vici7284_]

Sure, dating might be easier but getting what they actually want, long term commitment, is hard. I think everyone is struggling as the majority of men and women think they can always get better and only want short term

[@ThatGuy-tx4vm]

​@@vici7284_no it isn't. They want long term commitment from the wrong people. They ACTIVELY pursue the wrong people. They have it easier but choose to make it harder. The equivalent to men would be choosing hot women who have three children from 3 different men and expecting them to be loyal.

[@steakyb8938]

after she said that i paused the video and went to the comment section to see if anyone else picked up on that im glad i wasn't the only one her advice for men is work harder do more be better and i bet her advice for women has absolutely nothing to do with improving at all in any way shape or form and yet she would be the first to say 'women dont have it easier'. lmao

[@oremfrien]

@@ThatGuy-tx4vmThis is incorrect. The parallel for men is when they only wish to date the hottest smokeshow and ignore the less physically attractive woman who has fewer options. The reason that Chad doesn’t settle is because he doesn’t have to: women throw themselves at him. The reason the hottest woman doesn’t have to settle is because men throw themselves at her. In order to have success, a person needs to find someone who has fewer options.

[@babybird2095]

Can’t stand the upspeak? Please stop it? Thank you?

[@Mazzphysics]

Is that what its called, it's really annoying lmao.

[@Ayaymeer]

Wait I’m confused, what’s up speak?

[@azamatbagatov7161]

It would at least be somewhat bearable if she didn't combine it with that constant ridiculously exaggerated vooocal fryyyy

[@OutdoorShellback]

It. Never. Stops. It. Hurts. Terribly.

[@babybird2095]

@@Ayaymeer, where declarative sentences can end with a rising pitch similar to that typically found in yes-or-no questions.

[@dosboot1]

Wished for more, with nuance. I like Blaine Anderson's general messages, I've seen her on many channels at this point. But there is still something that doesn't sit right with me: I don't feel she can relate to most men who need dating advice. There is a type of guy she would prefer to work with, and that's who she relates to. I would like to see Blaine and other female dating coaches try a couple things: 1) approach guys as a woman for a week, just to get some new perspectives. and 2) -- the much more difficult task -- befriend the loneliest/least socially successful guys in your family, friend groups, and local circles. The biggest bell I want to keep ringing is that I don't feel people who talk about men's problems are ever taking the opportunity to learn what many men's lives are like. People underestimate the effect of social filters like another person's age, education, profession, verbal communication, and even looks will pre-select who we even consider making friends & acquaintances with. Most experts, like most people, aren't going out of their way to know the lives of different types of people, especially not ones they wouldn't naturally find in their life.

[@dy4710]

She doesn’t care to listen to the male perspective She glosses over, eye rolls, and stops listening at any pushback.. She sounds tone deaf and idealistic.. very out of touch

[@charliefox9573]

Well said. Also for the reserved or introverted guys, the cold approaches discussed ("I saw you from across the room, thought you were cute and just wanted to say hi") are almost never going to work. Those guys could try that a thousand times and it's always going to feel awkward and unnatural. And because it feels unnatural, they're going to come across as inauthentic and possibly creepy. For many guys finding surrounding which are conducive to starting a conversation with someone you're attracted to are a very rare occurrence. It's a tiny percentage of guys who are comfortable interrupting someone in a supermarket, at an event, at a park etc to start a conversation, unless there's a genuine reason to say hello. Yes you can tell yourself you're just interacting with another human and aren't thinking about getting her number, but if you're starting a conversation with someone you're attracted to, that's exactly what you're thinking of. Unless you're a Zen master at mental framing, you're just a guy hoping that somehow the universe provides you with enough charm and courage such that a genuine connection is formed against all odds.

[@minitntman1236]

Tĥe Failure of Cross-sex Mind reading. Where there is a fundimental failure to understand eachother.

[@oremfrien]

@@charliefox9573 While I generally agree that her advice is not well-matached to the needs of interoverted people, I would disagree with the issues you raise about uncomfortability. As someone who has high-functioning autism, many "normal" interactions (like eye-contact, small talk, expressive empathy) were things that I had to work on. They were awkward for many months before becoming more and more natural. It's not "always" going to feel awkward and unnatural; it changes after repetition. The same is true about dating/pickup behaviors; repetition creates comfort. The second point that I would make is that if you learn how to have conversations with women where the goal is not picking her up but just to connect with her as a friend, you learn "how to talk to women" in the sense of understanding which topics work as points of commonality ro begin discussion. The irony is that many women are more interested in the guy that cares about her but is not jumping down her throat to get her number.. So, if you've modeled that baseline conversation, it will feel more natural when you actually have to implement it.

[@charliefox9573]

​@@oremfriengood points. And good on you for working at your social skills. It does get easier for some with practice, it's the mental framing and not pressuring yourself which can take a long time to master. It definitely did with me. Nowadays I have a different problem. In my 50's and dating pool as shallow as a bird bath lol

[@THERESISTANCE762]

I talked to two women this morning, my doctor and her nurse 😅

[@tpl2023]

Strike up any fun conversations? Gotta get that practice in

[@edwardmorris3453]

Go for the nurse. Women marry up. Your chances are better with her.

[@Neoteny374]

So they know about your gonnorhea?

[@DB90909]

Well done bruh 😂😂

[@ThatMexicanGuyLouis]

Doesn’t mean your not successful, I actually do take that in as I did succeed cause it actually goes somewhere

[@dy4710]

She doesn’t care to listen to the male perspective She glosses over, eye rolls, and stops listening at any pushback.. She sounds tone deaf and idealistic.. very out of touch

[@SpecterVonBaren]

Her. "I hate the sort of guys that complain about how its so much harder for men, and women have it so easy." Also her. "Guys are so lazy with dating apps today, they need to go out in person and try again and again to approach women until they hopefully get an offer. Because women really do want men to initiate the courtship and pursue them." Make it stop. It hurts. Edit: Additional pain. "Men just need to talk to women of all shapes, sizes and ages so they can get comfortable talking to them, then the rizz will come more naturally" Ok... I was already doing that for all my life and the "rizz" didn't magically manifest itself. What else you got?

[@the19Zabaniyah]

@@SpecterVonBaren brother I don't know what your yapping about, just go watch fresh and fit if you want to hate post about women.

[@SpecterVonBaren]

@@the19Zabaniyah Point to me where I criticized her for being a woman.

[@kinbalxel6322]

​@@the19Zabaniyah You are just going around the comment section and throwing fallacies around. You blame people for disagreeing, and telling them that they hate women. You low level provocations are quite pathetic.

[@blackjackjester]

Uhh, she literally said that men and women's issues are different, and not really comparable, which is why she doesn't like the "women have it easy men have it hard" discussion.

[@the19Zabaniyah]

@Specter for a murder to be proven the murderer doesn't have to confess you just have to be able to put together the evidence, I'm observing the broad behavior, you've left multiple negative comments on this video particularly making fun of and disavowing her view, granted maybe you're separate somehow from the mob that only leaves hate comments whenever the podcast has a female guest that they disagree with (coincidence I'm sure) but sorry if I Doubt that, I'm just recognizing patterns, What I'm getting at is a bigger picture of what you and the entire comment section does without fail when there's a woman on the pod, you left another comment for example where you said something along the lines of: "I only had to watch 5 minutes to realize she's one of those people" newsflash she didn't say anything crazy within the first 5 minutes, but your acting like she claimed the moon is made out of cheese, And the same goes for all the other times there's been women on the pod and the comments are full of hate What's the unifying Factor here?... all women

[@donaldsodav290]

This is probably one of the worst guests ever on the show. Approach anxiety is the ripple effect. The initial cause was the rising rates of social scorn men received by even daring to muster interest and attraction in the female species. We have swung from the early days of cat calling to now clam shelling. A healthy middle simply isn't plausible in today's grass is greener; if you aren't physically attractive, don't approach me; please don't talk to me creep world. She can't argue from a point of biology or evolutionary psychology because women overwhelmingly, subconsciously, or consciously prefer men who are more alpha in all characteristics. I am 6'3 and won the genetic lottery, much like our host Chris here. I consistently get way more female attention than the vast majority of my friends whenever we go out. It is effortless for me to flirt with, pick up, and decide if I want to date women. I often give my buddies tips and tricks that they execute flawlessly but get shot down. I've asked some of these women very bluntly and honestly about why they rejected my friends. They almost all unanimously tell me they just aren't their type. Needless to say, I fell into their type 3/4 of the time. I'm not at all pleased with the way the dating market is now for men who don't meet the alpha archetype. It is a minefield out there. I consistently listen to my female orbiters talk about how creepy guys seem, how there wasn't a chance in hell that this guy or that guy had a shot. They talk about how effortless it is to converse with me, have fun with me, etc. when I push the issue of comparison. But let's be real, they just want to get with the Chad physical archetype who also happens to be a "good guy" that is husband material. Have your cake and eat it too. It comes to mind here, and you can thank social media for that. Evolution is just playing its ugly hand, which is that women pre-select for the highest status and best potential father they can get. These traits to raise healthy kids and have a fulfilling life generally include: 1. Resources to provide for said family. 2. Physical alpha like stature to protect said family 3. Physical appearance as a signal of good health and genes to pass on to children 4. High relative intellectual capacity as it pertains to point 3. If you want an idea of what women look for in men, have a look at sperm bank statistics and what women pre-qualify and select for. Go have a look at the subreddits. Evolutionary bias plays out in full daylight. There was a time when 5's would date 5's and 8's would date 8's. Unfortunately, there is only one gender that has decided that they can't accept their objective rating and decide that they deserve a man several points higher on the scale. Hypergamy is a thing, and women don't talk about it for fear of being scorned. Howevere some women just outright state what they want and desire, more respect to them even though it's delusional most of the time. Men are trying and being rejected a lot. Blaine even jokes about this and laughs earlier in the conversation after saying men should approach more. This isn't a number game because you could be hundreds of women deep in your journal and still not foster a conversation that leads to a woman selecting you as a long-term mating option. Overcoming approach anxiety and mastering communication doesn't mean you can compute for the unsolvable portion of the equation: Socially engineered women who always want better and don't want to "settle". If presented with two options of the exact same man in all relative characterological terms but one is physically better looking, taller and overall physically more attractive; that is the man she pre-selects for and subconsciously compares all other men to. We aren't living in the pre-interner Era where selective choice was relative to the size of peer groups that you would interact with. Comparison is the thief of all joy, and the advent of social media has allowed women to have almost unlimited sexual options. It is exactly for this reason that 63% of men under the age of 30 are single, while strangely, only 34% of women in that same age range are single. Folks, that is basically double the number of single men. This should be a statistical improbability but then you have to conclude that women are selecting older men who check the boxes in their pre-qualifying criteria. Women should be single at the exact same rate as men under 30 if you account for dating in the same age demographic. Either that or multiple women are dating the same guys. Both options seem nihilistic. Blaine's cancer is both demeaning and derogatory towards the realities facing men today. It is an ultra competitive market, and the only thing you can do to increase your chances of mate selection is to level up in all aspects and fake it until you make it. You can still preserve a lot of your core characteristics and hobbies, but you have to try to level up in order to compete. It's just the harsh reality that most men don't want to hear because black pill is ultimately right in many facets in that everyone can't win, nature is brutal and it is wishful thinking to make out that humans and evolutionary biology/psychology don't strongly indicate who gets to procreate with women.

[@neilt6480]

Great insights, and thanks for sharing (and empathising) with us normies. On the 'maybe women are sharing', I saw a study where examination of mitochondrial DNA and Y-chromosome DNA show that 8,000 years ago, women were 17 times more likely to reproduce than men. I read that as the lottery winning guys were getting lots more women than the normies. I fear that we're on a trajectory to repeat that.

[@BardelystheMagnificent]

Thank you for your TED talk. I'm being funny, but also dead serious.

[@edgardelibojr.4450]

That was a really good comment with your perspectives as well. Thanks for that👍

[@bro918]

so blackpill basically

[@AnonymousOne1111]

Very well phrased response 100% agreed. The reality is that we can’t put the genie back in the bottle. So called experts in dating aren’t saying the one most important thing here and that is, you’re being compared to the possibility of every man they’ve seen on instagram that day. Every millionaire with a six pack and yacht that they crave and subconsciously compare you to. The best path is to treat dating like dessert, focus on eating healthy while working out hard and getting your professional life in order (the meat and potatoes ), then you can pursue dating with confidence (a decadent cake), rather than settling for the “stale cookies” you get by listening to advice rooted in ignorance.

[@billusher2265]

7:05 Chris says men making the first move is the natural order, and she says men approaching happened for all of human history, I see similar comments all the time But what is the actual proof of this? How do we know this was the default for all of human history? I’m skeptical because from what I understand for most of human history we lived in small tribes so I don’t think coldapproach would be a thing as everyone knows each other, and most of civilizational history had some sort of arranged marriage dynamic. If we were naturally designed for men to approach women they don’t know, I don’t think so many women would feel so uncomfortable / hostile to it and so many men would feel so much anxiety / awkwardness around it, if anything it seems like we are ingrained to be biased against doing it.

[@marciolucena7895]

This is a valid point, never thought of it from that perspective.

[@KyleConnell-if3zn]

Arranged/forced marriages have actually been the norm for the majority of civilization. The man-approaching-woman scenario is very recent (in terms of human history) within the last century or so.

[@hectordsd]

And also women have approached some men

[@Zen56103]

When she said that men approached women for all of history, I couldn't help but think that she's doing a logical fallacy where guys are supposed to just accept it and don't recognize it as female privilege. There were also lots of things that have existed throughout history: murder, genocide, rape, bullying, slavery. Are we supposed to just accept it because "that's the way it always was"? Ironically, I'm sure she supports feminism but feminism didn't exist throughout history. Maybe we should just tell her that "women being treated as second class citizens and as property of men is the way it has always been, so you should just accept it".

[@nobodysperfect06]

​@@KyleConnell-if3zndo you think the world was a much better place when arranged marriages were the norm worldwide

[@t0astz]

she literally just took all the PUA stuff and take desperate rich dudes money. All her advice is essentially work out, get better social skills and spray and pray.

[@tpl2023]

But is it wrong….? Generally speaking it’s very straight forward. Which is good right?

[@ryananthony407]

RSD

[@Follzzt]

What were you expecting? Some magical solution? The world is not that complex

[@alexkamchugov2880]

Indeed... she's stating the obvious redundant facts, while trying to look as if she's just discovered a cancer cure... beyond played out...

[@youtubelisk]

​@Follzzt he is just projecting to all of us that all his money was already taken by someone else.

[@MathewBall]

A problem is males are nervous about being labelled a creep or accused of street harassment. Those are some reasons why males don't approach females nowadays.

[@rockyblacksmith]

I always want to ask: Why do you need to flirt with strangers? Why not make friends, and then look for who might be open to it among those? That is the history of literally 95% of the married couples I know

[@MathewBall]

@@rockyblacksmith "Why do you need to flirt with strangers?" What a bizarre question. No one needs to, they take a fancy to that person who happens to be a stranger! To put yourself in a person's friend zone and then try to date them is considered a massive red flag! Obviously, if you're dating someone you can feel like close friends.

[@rockyblacksmith]

@@MathewBall I wasn't talking about making friends with alteriour motives. Making friends is a benefit all on its own and should be done for its own sake. Finding someone to date is at most a side benefit. My point was that the fancy you take to a stranger is massively overvalued in modern society. A persons looks tell you NOTHING about who they are. And yet, if you let a looks-based crush be the primary basis for your dating, you'll ignore dozens of red flags because your hormones tell you to. Meanwhile, people who find their partners in friends groups already have several factors pre-selected: Similar values, similar interests, and they know the other person outside of the dating context. Looks will always be a factor, but the question is whether they are the primary reason you develop an attraction. And I can say from experience that it doesn't have to be, and people would be better off by putting it lower on their priority list.

[@MathewBall]

@@rockyblacksmith You can meet a stranger start talking have things in common and so on and go from there. The other thing is not everyone most don't find their partners from their friend groups. nonetheless, I can see where you are coming from.

[@rockyblacksmith]

@@MathewBall Last statistic I heard from where I live (Germany) was that meeting one's partner through mutual friends still accounted for most relationships. I don't know the numbers for the US, but I'll take your word for it. It wouldn't surprise me if this was a cultural thing. I didn't mean to say you can't or shouldn't approach strangers. I'm just baffled about how much dating advice and discourse is focussed on that scenario. Of course it CAN work, but it is a far greater gamble. She could be receptive and it turns out you have much in common. But she could also be completely repulsed or even frightened by your advances and you have nothing in common. Those extremes and everything inbetween have pretty much an equal chance of happening, with very little means of predicting which will happen. Compared to other approaches to finding a partner, this seems like a very undesireable way of looking. If there are means to preestablish certain relevant factors beforehand, shouldn't those be advocated for more?

[@Chase.77]

Look, I’m no ladies man😅,but with the little that I do know, the game/charm this woman is spitting. Let’s be honest, if she was a man, he’d be lonesome 😂

[@Tom-qp6oh]

It's a real knife out there!

[@Chase.77]

@@Tom-qp6oh it is a real knife fight out here!

[@DieOrBlink]

I think this podcast wins most out of touch conversation of 2024 so far for me.

[@alanwright3172]

The problem is not approaching women, unfortunately it's the unrealistic expectations of those women. Most average women these days think they are way more attractive than they actually are.😐

[@TheHunterDD33]

This is the biggest problem. Delusion

[@anthonypillarella]

From experience, that's not a real problem.

[@zma8080]

Maybe you need to be more reflective in this situation .. the fact that you have that mindset even before an approach of the judgement of “beauty” like it’s a substantial metric for quality of person/relationship means you are simply not yet ready to date .. a real man is self aware and 100% accountable .. read up on Jordan Peterson he has really great insights and guides on this topic

[@scottkenyon3194]

Is this what you tell yourself so that you don't bother approaching them?

[@TheHunterDD33]

@@scottkenyon3194 After meeting hundreds of girls 10 years ago vs now you can tell a huge difference. Therefore it’s a fact

[@phrag5944]

came for the comment section, was not disappointed. this girl is so pretty, married to a tech millionaire... articulate and pretty are great, but she's never going to translate anyone's money and time into a successful relationship for them - no matter how many coaches you go through, you have to love yourself then find someone who loves you for you. that's it. this woman is a grifter. you're better than this, Chris. platform better people, not just pretty women who you want to believe are right about something because they're pretty.

[@menionleah101]

Lol I follow her page on insta and she literally posts thirst traps and responds to simp comments. She's basically an IG model that occasionally gives dating advice.

[@b2rad]

Women do have it FAR easier than men in the dating atmosphere. I get why she has the alternative perspective since.. well, she's a woman. You can't know what you don't know, but men have it far more difficult on average than women.

[@Samuel-vw2wy]

You are generalizing men. Masculine, confident men are doing great, just because you aren’t doesn’t mean everyone else is in the same boat.

[@GoldenMechaTiger]

@@Samuel-vw2wy Ye no shit. Of course when we say men and women we're talking about men in general and women in general.

[@TheDominanceAcademy]

Women don’t have it easier. Sure they have more options but they want the opportunity. “Opportunity” guys are few and far between. And no the opportunity guy has nothing to do with looks, money and status. If that were the case celebs would never have relationship or dating problems, which we all know is false.

[@MrOdaddy2011]

😂 how are people so dumb. It blows my mind ​@@TheDominanceAcademy

[@jazzyjake99]

@@Samuel-vw2wyHe wasn’t generalizing anyone, he said “on average”, not “all men”.

[@CommandoMaster]

Everything a girl says about "dating advice" is only if she finds you physically attractive.

[@ivan06pr]

Well then become physically attractive to your best ability? What’s the problem? Man up.

[@TheTsugnawmi2010]

Great… so get physically attractive then? Hit the gym, diet healthily, brush and floss, shower daily, dress properly etc etc

[@KookinHaole]

$$$

[@miguelharo209]

@@KookinHaoleplanet fitness $10 a month calisthenics is free. Buying ground beef in bulk is not expensive as u think. Only thing is clothes but u can always find deals.

[@KookinHaole]

@@miguelharo209 you right

[@bradleymaravalli2851]

Nothing like telling guys to "get over it" when it comes to approaching women over and over again and hope for the best, even though the statistical odds of getting a match is extremely low.

[@dsds3968]

I've read comments from men who've had 100 rejections in a row. At what point do you decide that it's time to stop?

[@VernatronIRL]

Unpopular opinion might be here, I am a confident guy, don't have a problem with women, but love Chris's podcast. It's interesting that in the first 10 minutes, she mentioned that women want to be approached more. Could it be that women want to be approached more by men who are "out of the woman's league," so to say? Because if 95% say they want to be approached more, it's because they are likely looking for someone of higher value than them. The sad reality is that women date up, and men don't. Don't get me wrong-confidence is king, but sometimes you need to look at the reality of things. A woman, or 99.99% of women, will never date someone who has nothing going for them when they are mega successful, yet men think of a McDonald's cashier all day long if they think she's cute.

[@Villiers_]

I walk past a hundred women everyday in the city who all magically happen to get a stiff neck and need to look up off into the sky right as they're passing by. They definitely do not want to be approached. Or its my fault Im not a perfect 10/10

[@blackjackjester]

Brother nobody thinks about you that much. Step 1) realize you are not the center of the world, these women likely don't even notice you.

[@AKracecars]

Whatever the issue is, it’s definitely your fault

[@boones999]

No offense, but I find it hard to believe that they're looking up. Sure, they look down into their phone 99% of the time, but not up! And honestly, it's not you specifically - they just don't want to get approached by anyone (you included) unless it's Chad. It's just a standard defense that hot girls learn early on, otherwise they would be overwhelmed on a daily basis. The other commenters are right - they don't do it consciously. They probably never even notice you, just as you might not notice old and/or very unattractive people. Average guys are not on the same wavelength as cute girls, you simply don't matter to them. It's just biology, nature isn't fair.

[@LateField]

Feel like you're projecting hella hard with that one bud.

[@vklnew9824]

​@@blackjackjester boomer

[@MagicLink43]

The advice she gives is okay but VERY idealistic and definitely not acknowledging the perspective of men in dating. This was especially apparent when she said a good opening line is “hey I saw you from over there and would kick myself if I didn’t say hi.” That’s such a needy, low value thing to say. Yes it shows interest and can work in very specific cases, but it also tells the girl that she doesn’t have to do anything to win you over. She knows this as a woman.

[@sad_wrangler8515]

You could just summarize her blabbering to: 'Just increase your status in any way, because women's affection is transactional and your personality means nothing.'

[@samwise222]

Anytime you approach a girl in public because she looks hot and you want her number you are already communicating this subconsciously and she knows what you want. I read the book the Game back in the day and read a lot of stuff from early pickup artists because I was a socially awkward introvert. I had a decent amount of success following their techniques but it wasn't until I genuinely stopped giving a crap what people thought of me and just started being direct that I really saw serious results, including women approaching and hitting on me at random times. Granted, this was like 12 years ago before I was married so maybe I'm just super out of touch now and things have completely changed.

[@evalebedinsky3830]

As a women, I would love this comment!! As long as he says it with confidence and not some awkward way, it’s totally fine. I’m fact, it’s very flattering. Just be confident. You’re just missing the point. Example, a guy I worked with that I was not attracted to complimented my eyes out of nowhere. Although he isn’t my type, he did it in a nice confident way that didn’t make me feel pressure to give him anything. Just expressing your feelings confidently is hot

[@tango12341234]

The hard truth is this type of women even in the interview would usually just go for Chad in the US but is super common looks wise outside in places like Latin America. There is no reason to deal with American women anymore if you don’t’t need to. It’s just basic social economics at this point

[@alexkamchugov2880]

She states nothing of substance ... sitting there with a "smart face", unloading banalities, as if she had just found a cancer cure ...

[@zacharybrown9741]

I will never retire my Under Armour shirt. I will never bend the knee to France. I pledge allegiance to the flag.

[@carindreams5066]

Holy fuck I died of laughter reading this

[@NoMercy.62]

2:60 so if its the man who has to approach and the woman to be approached, the man has it harder than the female. you are contradicting yourself here when you stated men dont have it harder...

[@dy4710]

Logic isn’t a woman’s strong suit

[@desilorajr2713]

She also failed to mention that women only want to be approached by an attractive male. If your not attractive forget about it .

[@rob-79]

The conversation she avoids is the difference between what women (and men) say and what is the actual truth behind it. Women say “they want more men to approach” or “nobody ever asks me out” - what they don’t want to admit is “the guys I’m attracted to don’t ask me out” - trust me, we are constantly getting shot down, but when you don’t have the top 10% looks and job is pretty much impossible. The other side is when we men do say “everyone says no when I ask them out” it is the women we find attractive. I’ve have plenty of unattractive and overweight women interested over the years but it’s probably not that socially acceptable to say “only the uglies and fatties are interested”. The reality is if you find someone you’re interested in who is also interested in you - you are very fortunate especially in todays world where 90% of the women think they deserve the top 10% of men. Women used to give in sooner to what they realized they could get since motherhood was more important to them. Unfortunately, when they are mid-40s they don’t have much to offer. Especially when they are bitter and angry about how things turned out. Most of us guys just want someone who doesn’t look bad and has a nice personality. We aren’t that picky but women seem to be over the top picky. Back on the approachability thing - I even got yelled at once by some girl in a grocery store cause she thought I was staring or looking at her. I brushed her off but I hate to think what the younger guys around me felt about approaching women when they see stuff like that going on. Also, is easy for two good looking wealthy and successful people to throw normal people under the bus. Not really the most helpful conversation. She basically admits to helping underperforming Chads to get their act together and be more successful. She doesn’t help any of the lonely men just calls them losers. Most of these Modern Wisdom episodes are a bit better and more understanding towards those of us who are struggling.

[@talesfromoldjapan]

Wasn't arranged marriage the norm for most of human history?

[@crazyphoenickss]

Yes, up until 100 years ago arranged marriages were the norm for every single society. Picking your own lover or spouse was a very recent thing compared to how long people have been around.

[@alexwhite3830]

It was a norm for noble people. Ordinary people could marry whoever they want

[@FlibDokky]

no not remotely lmao

[@bigz5262]

Only in a few cultures

[@cobratrooper7940]

It was the rich and the powerful had things arranged. The rest was a lot of oops babies with the fathers and brothers making sure the guy stayed around. That's where things got weird was when people could have constant sex without getting tied up with a kid during it.

[@YautjaTNT]

Man, she actually said women don't have it easier. Not saying women don't have crazy problems, but you're out of your mind if you don't know women generally have an easier time in the dating market. Just be honest. There's a reason women are stunned when they try tinder on the profile of a guy they know.

[@SpecterVonBaren]

Me: Oh! This should be an interesting perspective to hear. Me 5 minutes later: Oh... she's that sort of person...

[@DDDarwin27]

What sort of person?

[@big_chungus73]

​@@DDDarwin27pretty, airhead, valley girl

[@DDDarwin27]

​@@big_chungus73 I didn't yet watch the video so maybe what she says is stupid but I would not ignore what she has to say just because of her look.

[@Sub0Kate]

I agree that her voice is grating, but coming from a woman, everything she said was spot on.

[@the19Zabaniyah]

@@Sub0KateI replied to you earlier, surely if you've seen the comment section you realize you being a woman actually means they don't care about your opinion unfortunately

[@ihop4no14]

I once told a woman she was cute. She responded with, "Ducks and puppy dogs are cute! I want to be called beautiful!" GEEZ!

[@commandershepard4452]

Also, women dont know how to flirt anymore, they just glance your way and tells their friend's "I gave him loads of signals" Women need to start loving themselves so men have something to love, not their fault entirely, as social media played a part.

[@jasonu3741]

Women need to start loving themselves? you think Self love for women is at an all time low.... in THESE times?

[@SpunkeyMonkeyJess]

She Nailed it when she said "you're more likely to text yourself out of a date, than text yourself into a date". Just set the details for the date and shut up.

[@msmith0043]

Add "by guys i find attractive" to every sentence

[@sterlingmillhollon2520]

A girl saying “why is your phone out in the gym” …. That one got me for a sec lol. (The pot calling the kettle black perhaps)

[@charliefox9573]

Almost everyone has their bloody phone out at the gym. It's truly a sickness that people can't go an hour without it in their hand.

[@CherryDiMilo]

​@@charliefox9573well I use it to listen to music or watch a video during workout... 🤷

[@EllinaTolmacheva]

Why do you even promote kissing on the first date? This simplifies the meaning of this intimate moment so much, and it seems that it’s so normal to kiss a person you have known for a couple of hours 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@missfromsunshinestate]

Agree 💯

[@moonknight4053]

Men who say women can’t give dating advice to men are right though, that is empathy! Because we know what guys want, we know how you guys work. It’s not hatred nor is it malice! It’s the TRUTH!!! And no lol I am not redpill. Just another man on the highway who only believes in the truth!!

[@theredking3070]

Giving up on dating and women as a whole was the greatest decision I ever made. Mental health, financially, spiritually, physically, career etc. I recommend everyone do it.

[@BruceKarrde]

What bothers me and actually stiffles me is all these requirements! - Just talk to a lot of women. Well, that's fine and shouldn't be hard. Also: - Have a hobby - go on vacation - don't take mirror photos - don't take gym photos - have photos that show a lot of people want to be around you - be fit and well presentable - don't have female friends - earn over 100k - impress her - on and on and on It's like ... okay, in 5 years I can go on a date. What is even worse is that us men have all these to-do steps ... and she ends up being the most boring person ever. Maybe she's attractive or a well paying job. But she doesn't want to go on vacation, go for a walk ... and it's not like not many women are like this ... most of them want YOU to pay for their vacation. Might as well just get a dog. I get it that she has to choose and gatekeep ... but most of this stuff I'm like ... fuck it, if she doesn't want me, it's her loss.

[@theperfectbeing]

Most of those rules don't apply if they find you attractive. I was in physique competitor level shape and would post training vids from both lifting and MMA type training and had a lot of women slide into my DMs any time I did it. Turns out being 6ft tall, having fantastic abs and rugged look completely counters any need for nuance or social awareness. Half the women that slid into my DMs were friends of my female friends who saw me and said "who is that?" . The more women you have around you the better Her list is a pile of bullshit, I had the most women when I had a terrible job and no car but I had the right look and toxic mentality. I actually started to associate getting called an asshole with the likelihood of getting a date or sleeping with that woman.

[@BruceKarrde]

@@theperfectbeing Thanks for sharing! I've had similar experience. When I lost a lot of weight and looked fit and young, I would get a lot of female followers and some of them would get into my DM's. No, those weren't the bots ;) Some of those messages were really inappropriate. Most of those inappropriate ones were on the level that shocked me. Men are being shamed and called creeps for talking like that.

[@nbarretto]

@@theperfectbeing the rules apply to everybody with only marginal practical wiggle room. otherwise its either moral corruption or intentional lies.

[@throwawayableact]

The first thing I want to hear out of the mouth of a 'dating coach' is how successful, happy and long-term their current relationship is. Without that, why should I listen to the individual?

[@IRAsiaVideo]

good places to meet women- = outside US or UK 😛

[@Rapscallion3003]

Philippines

[@f__kyoudegenerates]

Yeah, if you are a guy and interested in vanilla this is what i recommend. I am not vanilla but they keep messaging me over and over without reading my profile

[@Alistair_Spence]

The upspeak, the vocal fry, this girl has it all.

[@deankay800]

😂Underrated comment.

[@jonah2047]

does the stuttery blinking have a name?

[@matthewgriffy]

Hello there Chris! Will we ever see Whatifalthist (Rudyard Lynch) on Modern Wisdom? I recall you retweeting some of his stuff a few months ago. His videos are absolutely fascinating. He predicted that Trump would be assassinated and he predicts that there’ll be more political violence this coming fall. He’s done countless virtual podcast appearances, but I don’t believe he’s ever done an in-person podcast. There’s a first time for everything! He’s based in Texas too ! :)

[@mowerds33]

Seconded.

[@pbrown0829]

Thrice

[@JohnDorian-j7x]

He's in Texas now?

[@TheLorinOo]

Do it (emperor voice)

[@johnflemming3222]

I gave it a shot. I could even get past her Jersey girl slang but as soon as she mentioned a brag about Dan Brazilian, it had to go off.

[@iAmCymba]

Women want to be approached by the guys they like. Just because they want to be approached doesn’t mean they want to be approached by anyone. 🙃

[@OriginalPhil]

I think ChatGPT would give equally good advice… just with less vocal fry.

[@bernardobila4336]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@fails_on_the_regular]

Difference is they are doing it 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@levimosby9967]

This is the first time im hearing about this "lonely chapter" but that's exactly where I am right today

[@jackmehoff2503]

Is it just me or was none of this information intended or useful for the general public?

[@ericr5481]

Thank goodness a miracle happened: I got married to a woman I love and that loves me. Watching this video highlights the fact that I wouldn’t have a hope if I wasn’t in a relationship. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about it.

[@thegoremachine4258]

A woman can know how to get women and teach it to men. The problem is that there is not experience of acting on it the knowledge so their is a limit to how good of a teacher they could be.

[@PassifloraCerulea]

Exactly. If you haven't actually tested out your own theories (because it's physically impossible), it's hard for me to take you 100% seriously. It's unwarranted to be so dismissive of men who mostly want to hear from other men on how to approach women. And on top of that, as a nerd I'm probably going to get poorer advice from Chris than I would from a fellow nerd. People can be very different both between and within the sexes.

[@Women_Respecter]

The hardest part of adjusting to the fact that this is a numbers game are two things. 1. We don't learn to deal with rejection in childhood anymore. It's just a foreign concept to 80% of people. From participation trophies to "your feelings are valid" we are not used to or comfortable far more than previous men. 2. We are far to exposed to beautiful people and people that WANT to be wanted. To say the amount of horny/sex baiting instagram and tiktok profiles isn't messing with people psyche is dumb

[@ThomasAndersonPhD]

57:00 "I'm okay with your crocs and socks" lol of course Chris could be wearing a burlap sack. He's handsome, ultra-fit, and quite successful. This is podutainment. This episode is "How to not fail at dating for very handsome men that are already successful but lack confidence in their high value (but who's value is readily translatable to photos for others)". I'm not complaining, just calling it what it is. It is more of a conversational performance put on by two pretty people than it is a valuable, informative, practical podcast for normal people. That's okay if that's what you want, of course.

[@emiliocostaguta1000]

I’ve got a very simple question: If women have it as hard as men when it comes to dating, how come her business model is “helping” men in the dating world? I’ve never seen a course advertised to women struggling to get a date.

[@raisingfalcon]

Your making to much sense

[@BasedGymChad]

14:02 "And you're going to hear NO a lot." I’ve been lucky to avoid much rejection, and probably even more lucky that women have approached me on numerous occasions, something I used to think was normal for most guys. However, the few rejections I’ve faced still stung. While resilience is important, it’s unreasonable to expect men to keep taking rejection without being affected. Absolutely zero empathy from this person.

[@dsds3968]

I've hardly ever been rejected. Because I've rarely approached anyone, I just wait until something happens. Because women make the decision and I'm too sensitive and/or lazy to take the risk.

[@BasedGymChad]

@@dsds3968 I just thought it's absurd to just expect men to continuously take rejections as if rejections don't take a mental toll on people.

[@thegreengatsby9803]

People, read Robert Greene’s book - Art of Seduction - history’s best seducers weren’t necessarily the best looking. Also, seduction and attraction is all psychological after the baseline criteria has been met, which is looking put together

[@cooperbheller]

Legitimate question gentlemen: Since women have way more options than men (I’ve seen this firsthand, my younger sister gets hit on by a ridiculous amount of guys including D1 football players) IF we as men are using dating apps aren’t we just circling through the same women that aren’t in the market to get asked out normally? Think of it similar to the restaurant business. The “less desirable” employees jumping from job to job.🤔🤔 ALSO isn’t going on dating apps the same as going to the grocery store while you’re hungry? Coming from the intention of filling a void (loneliness AKA hunger) and so we end up getting a lot of unnecessary things we didn’t need (red flags AKA sugary garbage). Would love to hear others thoughts on this.

[@alexfehr7650]

The Concept of Dating Apps are exactly the same, as for all other social Media Apps out there: "To keep you on the screen and maximize screentime and as a side Effect to pay Money for Boosts etc. with no Garantee to get something. This System you can see also in Games which has a "Pay to Win" Methodic. You're comparison with the grocery Store, is on Point. 1000% right.

[@tedwunderlich2741]

This just made this topic even more depressing. Not only are guys en masse getting rejected and deemed invisible by women, it’s happening from the second and third tier of women I think your grocery store analogy is spot on. The problem for most men is that there isn’t really any legitimate alternative at the moment

[@jasonu3741]

If your a man in the West you have more options than women your options skyrocket the second you get on a plane and leave the west, that is something Western women CANNOT do.

[@BS_Profile]

I agree with the other guy. Dating apps are horrible for guys but at the same time, that's the only place women will show interest in me and MAYBE even talk. I never meet women in my day to day life. I mean I'm stuck at work for 8+ hours per day just sitting at a desk and isolated from the world (yay). So the only way for me to meet women in real life would be cold approach. I'm not a male model and shorter than 6ft so I would be rejected more often than not. And occasionally I'm sure I would be accused of being "creepy, weird, inappropriate, etc. etc." just for trying. Hard pass on all of that nonsense. So dating apps remain the only option.

[@colefournier4474]

Only watched 3 of your videos so far and I already feel like a better human

[@MLK1456]

Why does it feel like she is still saying it’s on the man to do all the hard work? I’m getting pretty tired of women wanting to pass off all the hard things about life to men because it’s too much work or uncomfortable.

[@darthcholo]

I'm only 5 min in. Generally speaking she's already given 2 examples of why men should not take dating advice from women. It doesn't mean somebody like her can't give genuine honest, fact based advice, but most women will not.

[@erikt1713]

She keeps coming back to my go-to strategy that I've always used when single: I just get a lot more social and take up interests which are shared by women, last time it was about language learning events ("learn French and meet friends"), a hiking group and a badminton club. You get to know more people and get to go to other meetings or parties where again you can talk more easily and have connections. While I did that, too, I made the catch directly at one of the language events. This is really sound advice, though she generally makes too many words about all of it.

[@harraldschmitt9113]

"you will have put your best foot forward" yes, and its never enough

[@bazinguy7779]

Seconded

[@Wyattdcarter22]

25 minutes in and this is stressing me out. I think I’ll get off and listen to something that makes me feel better.

[@taddeushelm]

I hat the truth in the first two words: 0:05 "learn how to authentically _market_ themselves". Dating market sucks 😅

[@tonywhite8131]

So basically if you are a chilled out guy just doing your crappy job and watch Netflix and play on your PS on your days off you have to fundamentally change your entire life around to impress a chick so that she... just sticks around? Yeah, sounds fair and balanced 🤣 I think Chris nailed it a while ago when he said it's really important how you choose what you want. Modern women come with a lot of costs and risks and very little return on investment, so modern men would be wise to want something more worthwhile. I recommend Warhammer, sports, politics, guns (regional restrictions apply), hema, coding or just general gaming. Peace

[@reptilesgamers00]

Historical European martial arts would be dope. Applebee's first date hits hard when I flex my Messer skills.

[@LouSilver-g9r]

I wish I could time stamp right here as this is GOLD. Is this intelligent guy intellectual thing v flirting touching creating my friend zone problems?! Wow! This is ENLIGHTENING!

[@viiiRA_]

Sadly, I *could not* agree more. Not even on a date, I'll just start a conversation, sometimes with the intention of maintaining my social skills, and I swear women don't have hobbies or do much. What do you mean, "I don't know"?! Do you just go home after work and sit there? During your off days? Even if you have other duties, you should still have time to do _something_ and I know the reality is, when I don't get a succinct or I get a vague answer, it means they just social media and Netflix. Additionally, despite the harping on about how important communication is, they, albeit truthfully most people, suck at proper communication! Hair flipping/preening is not. Nor are flirty glances. Even worse, people are equally or more bad at the other half of communication. *Listening* . I am a straight-shooter and an absorbed listener. I'm going to say what I do and do what I say, at least 90% of the time. If you want to speak, you almost will always have my full attention. I won't use absolutes because that wouldn't be truthful.

[@RobJaeger]

Flirting with the world is the best advice. Practice interacting with everyone. It helps you learn how to be carefree with anyone.

[@jesse3105]

Thank god I'm not single anymore

[@georgiavramov9824]

Just curious why men have to be the focal point who has to change and to be the first mover?

[@Bertinator-nm9ld]

Because that's the long-standing societal expectation, and very few people seem interested in actively changing it. A lot of women don't even seem to understand how much energy guys are expected to put into getting everything up and running at the start. There's no interest in changing the dynamic. Unless something drastic happens to convince everyone that it shouldn't be just men making all the first moves, the dynamic will never change. And I don't see any evidence that we're moving in that direction. Sucks, but that's how it is. It's not gonna change.

[@cobratrooper7940]

crudest answer: Because the weaker sex physically is women across the board and as such they want a person that will be willing to fight for them. If the guy is unwilling to approach then they doubt their courage and what they would do for them if they or their would be kids need their protection. Women that want to be a fighter and are up front are very rare and even those rare ones still want a man that is going to be just as aggressive as them or more.

[@bigz5262]

It’s not “men” it’s you. You have to be the change to better your life

[@dant3175]

It's a matter of scarcity. In evolutionary terms, women can only get pregnant from puberty to menopause, only once a month, and if they do get pregnant, that takes them out of the game for nine months. Plus then they have to spend energy raising the kid. This makes women a scarce resource. A man can theoretically impregnate a virtually unlimited number of women. This makes men an abundant resource. This is also why we send men to war and not women, by the way. It has nothing much to do with culture. It's a consequence of biology.

[@f__kyoudegenerates]

@@cobratrooper7940 One has nothing to do with the other though. This is the dumbest comment yet.

[@albertlevins9191]

Chris. This is the podcast I needed when I was 20. Now I'm 40 and have a hard time figuring out what to do with some of this information. Still, thanks, and keep doing what you do!

[@chainer2322]

Me at @12:00: trying to better myself so I'm more attractive to women, so I'm listening to podcasts at work... wearing sound canceling headphones, walking up to the Papa Johns counter to show the girl I'm picking up a DoorDash order. I knew I recognized this girl talking.

[@ForgedinStruggle]

This is a tough one to sit through Chris. Although i do not identify with the type of guys she described, she opened by saying oh i just don't/won't work with these type of people because they're bad. You stated that guys think its easier for women to find a 'date'. She heard 'boyfriend' and stated that all men that think like that are bad people and she would not work with them. It is statistically accurate that it is easier for a women to find a date. Perhaps not a relationship, but that still starts with a date. I would argue that her accusatory reaction rather indicates her own lack of empathy. Looks like she's just projecting a bit. My thoughts, at least.

[@WTHPOPL]

Chris says, Recently single. 😂 Get it bro

[@antigone.at.fleursducoeur]

LOL

[@Biceptanlines]

😂. I thought Chris was looking more jacked lately.

[@WD00777]

Noticed that too lololol

[@thesingingfiddler]

Every female guest lately

[@WTHPOPL]

@thetaxgawd good observation!

[@spencersivco8503]

I want someone to look at me the way Chris looks at Sourdough