Dating in France Doesn't Actually Exist... I Dating Unfiltered

[@DatingBeyondBorders]

Which dating style do you prefer: do you prefer to date the French way or the American way? I want to hear your personal thoughts and tell me WHY?

[@dominicdannies7482]

the whole "exclusivity frome the beginning" thing is deeply strange and wrong to me.

[@amiquigonzales7917]

The French way of course, if you don't like the person that much you just don't kiss him (her): the moment you become physical is that you mean something special.

[@fernathebest414]

The French way. Specially at the beginning. You are to date one person at a time. If it doesn’t work you move on. But to date multiple people at once prior to being “exclusive” I find ridiculous. I would feel cheated. Also the kiss thing seems better in France. If you are dated and kissed is because you are someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend. One should not be wondering if you are kissing if you are boyfriend and girlfriend or not. Then again I’m Mexican so no playing games makes sense to me.

[@amiquigonzales7917]

@@fernathebest414 Absolutely, I agree. Peru here.

[@marah3298]

@@fernathebest414 Very well-said. I am American and I can appreciate all that you have said here. I never thought much about my opinion on this topic, but I agree with you.

[@jonathanbarrett3619]

As a Brit who’s into both romance and monogamy, this sounds so nice. I feel like Britain has absorbed a lot of America’s dating culture meaning we have a very prolific hook-up and casual sex scene and while it’s great that people have the freedom to do that, it can feel a bit hopeless to be looking for something serious in that environment. As much as communication is important, just the simple act of knowing you’re now ‘official’ with someone through kissing them sounds really sweet and I love France’s approach to dating and romance, this was really lovely to watch.

[@madalinaanton3253]

It is bad when people are expected to only do that hook-up and dating mingle , for someone who suffered from sexual abuse it can be even harder to even exist in that type of culture, because sometimes people act like they need to try you sexually before they can say they want to be with you, they also act like they are entitled to try other people as the same time as you, which is disgusting. Where I am from you are in a relationship from the moment you kiss, that is why when western men looking to hook-up in Eastern Europe come here , they feel like they find only the gold-diggers and cam-girls ,because they are the only women who fall for the aseptic approach of a foreigner , that and the fact that it is very obviously disrespectful to want to hook-up with eastern european women because you think they are easy and submissive, we are actually used to more effort than a guy in a club asking for a fuck and STDs.

[@ryyreads]

I agree. I have always been drawn to French peoples approach to dating, love and romance. It feels most me and most efficient to my core values.

[@liliamartinezl8327]

I agree with you.. I am colombian and I hate the idea of Going out with someone and see how it turns out, I dont want to be used as an object and just sleep around with anybody. We are so special just to let a lot of people to have intimacy with us

[@shalimar29]

Unless you start dating women in the UK but from other cultures like India, Poland, etc., and even then try to look for the traditional types. I encountered the same problems as you. Maybe it is just in the big cities in UK? How do you usually meet those women?

[@auntsally5683]

Agreed I think the American thing is weird and gross but I think there is also more pressure in the us regarding intermarry it is a misconception that dating always involved sex in the US.

[@iralia333]

The superb Gad Elameh said it best: Q : what do you call "friends with benefits" in France? A:Friends 🥰

[@cernunnos5727]

Actually ... that's true

[@augth]

@@cernunnos5727no it’s not we don’t bang our friends?

[@bartrotters68]

After hearing so many different dating styles, this one seems refreshing. Less headache and confusion.

[@CineMairon]

Actually, as a European I first heard of this "seeing others until you decide" and "excluciveness" in this channel years ago, and I was like wtf XD It felt so absurd and I never before imagined people have this mentality. And it's strange that you don't really see that clearly at least portrayed in cinema. I guess different cultures see things from another perspective but I sympathize more to the French in the video and their point of view than the N.American one. Even the two hours date seems insane to me. Here in Greece we are casual. You hang out with someone, spend time together, if you like eachother the time doesn't matter, it passes without noticing, you can spend all night just hanging out and if things lead to romance it gets there smoothly (in healthy relationships of course).

[@silveryfeather208]

Could be just me in the cities I've been but in notice in Vancouver, Toronto and even Montreal and Edmonton for example, the reason is, unfortunately shit is expensive and time is money. And people are more focused on money. (For better or for worse)

[@yasashii89]

It's nothing unique to Europe, it's just Americans making excuses for being promiscuous.

[@toomuchinformation]

You don't see it portrayed in films because (1) It pushes the cost of filming up; there are more people to feature and pay. (2) Filmakers and writers will also have to use a bit more imagination, it could complicate plots unnecessarily and; (3) The audience may look askance at the concept of rotation dating.

[@sofitocyn100]

When you are young, you ask "do you want to go out with me?" As you become an adult you don't even ask that. You just seal the deal and tell people you "are seeing each other" and pray for them to not get too intrusive and ask questions you haven't discussed together, such as "what are we?" "Where is this going to?". It just comes naturally. But it takes a while to call the other your boyfriend or girlfriend and even more so to say you are a couple. Then it's really official.

[@mimistar1427]

So you're telling I need to date a French man...this is my kind of dating.

[@cernunnos5727]

You need to date a french man

[@AlexRamirez-vz1vj]

Yes... Date a French guy like the one on the left.... Her right.

[@aeolia80]

The intro quote about first kiss meaning you're in a relationship, lol, my first time learning about this was from personal experience. When me and my now husband, who's French, first started hanging out and getting romantic, like the first week of it, we had been friends/friendly acquaintances previously, I had absolutely no idea he considered me his girlfriend till he told an acquaintance over the phone, with me standing right there, that he couldn't meet up with them because he was with his girlfriend, I turned and looked at him like what!!??, lol, we never had that conversation, 😂😂, and when I asked him after he got off the phone he told me about this cultural thing in France, like even if you're only with the person for a week and realize it's not working out it's still your "significant other" with all the stuff that goes with that even introducing to parents and/or friends, 😂😂, I was slightly flabbergasted to say the least, lol, I mean I was totally ok with it, but I was like you meed to inform me of those things because, you know, consent, 😅, and at first he didn't understand what I meant, and I was like, "you've watched Friends and How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory", (the shows he really learned English from, lol), and I was like, you know, "the talk", and he was like "what talk" and I was like "THE talk" 😂😂😂, he was still confused, so I told him, and he said that he was aware of it but never thought it was a real thing, and I said, yes, yes it is, and while it's the most awkward experience ever and usually someone gets hurt having that talk, you learned and make boundaries and deal with consent stuff, because for most Anglophone people it's a huge step that we don't take lightly. He more than understands it now after 8 years being together, lol, but he still considered me his girlfriend from the moment we kissed which was the first time we ever hung out alone 😂😂😂😂

[@egolubitskiy]

Thank you for being more inclusive in your videos. I really appreciate it!

[@egolubitskiy]

@J Boss A lot of us care.

[@egolubitskiy]

@J Boss There are people of all ethnicites/backgrounds living in France, many of whom were born and raised there. They are just as much a part of French society as someone who is ethnically French. France without them would be a different country than the one we see today, There same goes for LGBT people. Each group's perspective and experience is part of the whole and is equally worthy of inclusion.

[@egolubitskiy]

​@J Boss I agree with you that it is a shame that France does not celebrate the diversity of different regions and minority languages. And that it has, in fact, purposefully suppressed them throughout history. This is a big loss to France, and a loss for the world. At the same time, immigrants are also part of French society, and have shaped its culture. And not just France. They are a part of the fabric of most societies around the world. Migration is not a new phenomenon. It has been the reality of our world for millennia. It is not an "either/or" situation. There is room to both celebrate regional differences/minority languages native to France, and to recognize that ultimately, very few things are actually "native" to anywhere, as our world has seen people and ideas moving around and mixing for thousands of years. So yes to regional differences and minority languages. And yes to societies changing over time and including people and perspectives that were once considered "outsiders." It is the reality of the world.

[@Kysleen]

@J Boss the difference is, China didn’t try to colonize the majority of the world while disturbing other countries culture, language and tradition and advocating for their customs as being the best. Tribalism is real and to an extent normal. Xenophobia shouldn’t be. Migration is not a new phenomenon…

[@Kysleen]

@J Boss how do they make it to the government buildings and make government people’s life hell, like you just suggested? How do they GET THERE? To the 1%?

[@spruceguitar]

I cracked up when one of the girls said “If you date someone and they are dating someone else they are sh*tting on you.” I was like I Totally Agree! I believe she meant they are cheating.

[@janahcoaching]

I grew up in Spain, it's similar in many aspects. We don't have that strange dating culture, where a woman can be dating like 5 guys at the same time and doesn't consider them their boyfriend, I mean, any of them. In Spain, you are together or you are not, dating a woman just to go on dates, isn't normal there. And it's not a prude culture, so if you're into each other it's nothing "too much" to just show the other person you are interested.

[@oreoconsushi1848]

que españa sera esa ajajajaja

[@talitabotana6992]

Not the same spain i lived in 😂

[@cmlkhf]

Woah, I never knew anything about french dating culture and was definitely surprised! For some reason, I assumed french people would be very into hookups but, apparently, they're moreso the relationship type, huh? They do sound a bit too intense for me haha But nonetheless, this was a very interesting video :)

[@Julien-yc3zy]

Let's just say, sometimes in France, people meet other people just for hookups or to be sexfriends, but they make it clear from the beginning. However when you date someone, it's really for a serious relationship.

[@amiquigonzales7917]

@@Julien-yc3zy I think French people go for the serious things, they are respectful and polite. And if they are just for sex, as they are serious and respectful you will be informed first after that it's up to you.

[@edithputhy4948]

obviously French people do hookups just as much as the next European, if not more bc they have less hangups about casual sex.

[@brunoromualdo]

For me (as a brazilian) it was weird to find out i was dating but i wasn't even asked hahahahaha like in Canada we ask the other person if he wants to have a relationship

[@TatianaBalashova]

As much as Brazilian dating video was cute, French seems more manageable to me 😅, love the aesthetic touch of the guests!

[@chrystianaw8256]

This was fun to watch!

[@johngonzalez4298]

Happy Thursday!

[@rapunzel129]

I'm dating a french guy🥰he's so sweet🥰

[@shalimar29]

Yes, a kiss means a relationship but then the French have no problem cheating with other women. This is part of the acceptance in this culture. Isn't it ironic?

[@justanotherpersonxo]

I need to move to France

[@notmanymore1521]

So far Canadian dating looks awful compared to most of these other cultures you've done. Can you do an official Canada dating one?

[@crazyleaf257]

I've heard the debating disagreeing thing twice now. I like that. Few Americans like that, were SENSITIVE 🤦🏼🤣

[@earth2ellie]

Jane is so gorgeous and she’s really cute. 😊

[@benjaminmontalbano4724]

Isn’t she 😍

[@ritzkashyap8288]

Loved the video but why is the audio so bad??

[@pedersthemetalhead]

Nothing wrong with it. I didn't have any problems with the audio.

[@clariceism]

Agreed. It isn't very clear on my phone

[@silveryfeather208]

Oof, I hate the chase. Tell me straight to the point if you like this or that or whatever.

[@changwilliamwang]

Based on this video, I love the French way of dating!!

[@lila133]

im in the uk, i think its similar to america for better or worse. you go on some dates, by the third date you might need to decide if youre planning on getting together or not. however in the 18-30 demographic, its very common for people to fear committment, and want all the benefits of a relationship without the label, because theres a feeling that they want to explore all their options. especially with men, in my experience. Getting into a relationship is quite serious here so its not taken lightly, maybe in france the meaning of girlfriend/boyfriend is slightly different? i think i prefer the french way, its more romantic.however i still value the way here - where you can go on dates with a few people and not have to immediately rush into things. personally I like taking it slow, but value monogamy and romance, so i think an ideal way would be go on some dates with one person for a little while, then making the progress naturally because labels are a big step here

[@Meyouletsgo]

I was comparing Italians and French date clips and they are very different :))

[@mimmiblu6138]

All the Italian men in the video were from the South, as a woman from the North I'd say men here are a bit middle way between the French and the South Italians (not as possessive and jealous but rather flirtatious)

[@taisdacosttal.3443]

So funny how everybody thinks North Americans are more superficial.

[@taisdacosttal.3443]

I think the same, and I am from Brazil.

[@TheLibraryOfEmotions]

This is really good series! Did you video it in Toronto?

[@deepblue1909]

Theo is so handsome

[@enelrahcreivaj]

Well, we kissed and hmm boom! My Frenchie so sweet.

[@mydogisbailey]

but if dating doesnt exist in france, then how do dating apps work in france? do you just pretend like you're two friends hanging out for a few times and then suddenly kiss and become a couple?

[@naomieb6096]

Yes

[@margaux_cha]

The way dating usually works in France with dating apps is that you go on a few dates to get to know each other and see if there is any chemistry when you meet irl. You go grab drinks or go out for dinner and then if there is some sort of chemistry then yes you might kiss but the kissing part doesn't really define the relationship as a "couple" it's more a "let's agree i really like you and i'm not seeing anyone else". In France there's no such thing as "the talk" it's implicit because we don't date the same, we don't see different people at the same time. So like after being exclusive with the other person for a little while there's a mutual unspoken agreement that yes we are in a relationship. Hope this makes sense? :)

[@Miriam-qx8qf]

If it exists in France, it is called "rendez-vous" and is equivalent to "rendez-vous" in English.

[@stigmatamartyr4223]

I wish more Americans had this mindset

[@6666SUPERDEVIL]

It’s confusing. No ofensse, but, lesbians, gays and Canadians and etc, have so much different codes and modus vivendi/operandi as a native French would have. This video should be segmented by nations and lgbt community.

[@sukma-uc2mz]

seems north america/usa hippie lifestyle no exclusivity.

[@dominicdannies7482]

I have to say that i am deeply surprised about the dating situation in france. I thought it would be like everywhere else where you would have the talk at some point.

[@CineMairon]

It depends on how you define the "everywhere else". This N.American dating culture is foreign and seem odd "everywhere else" in Europe. And we differ on dating culture in an insane amount from one another. Even if we eventually have the talk of where this relationship is going, it's nothing like the "going exclusive" as in N.America. It's as the French lady said. If you kiss you are together, if you see others it's cheating. Unless there is a special agreement of "open relationship" but that's hella rare and usually doensn't last. But this "dating=testing", no. It's not "like everywhere else".

[@dominicdannies7482]

@@CineMairon No. I am from Germany and we definitely have "the talk". You are free to see more than one people here.

[@CineMairon]

@@dominicdannies7482 My German friends don't seem to agree on that, but if you say so... Still though. I don't say it doesn't haven anywhere but it definitely is not happening "everywhere". That was my objection. In my country (Greece) something like that is not tolerated. And from what I have been heard by friends, in most places if you see other people while you are intimate and going on dates with someone, you are considered a cheater and a "not good" person to be in a relationship with. Even in more free relationships it's still not like N.America "try and choose" mentality. And not just in Europe, same goes to Mexico, as my girlfriend persistently claims. Even if you have a short of "talk" it's to define your relationship, but even if you are not sure of your feelings you are supposed to not to see others in meanwhile if someone interests you. Always talking about dating of course, not random "intimate actions".

[@dominicdannies7482]

@@CineMairon maybe they are from the south of Germany. There is quite a cultural divide between south and north Germany

[@CineMairon]

@@dominicdannies7482 Yes, you are right, it's quite possible. I asked another too and basically what she told me is that it depends on the individual.

[@wolffpaul8867]

Lyon north of France ?!!! Come one

[@amiquigonzales7917]

He said "LILLE", north of France

[@benjaminmontalbano4724]

I’m from Lille ! Northern France

[@wolffpaul8867]

@@amiquigonzales7917 my bad 😅

[@sarahwaggoner2069]

Their accents 🥰

[@DrJoyti]

I Always wanted to date a French guy …. When the romance word comes in front of me French guys comes into my mind may be I have heard a lot about them I have been there

[@lexiqui4195]

Wait what? I’ve been living in France for 2 years. I never seen french being like « we kissed then we went into the relationship » what what? Am I not living in France ????

[@ChiefJeyEf]

Could you elaborate? Do you mean they kiss a lot of people even if they're not considering that they're "together"?

[@marette2845]

A kiss is considered a pretty serious move, yes. You can't kiss several people at the same time in France, once you kiss, your partner expects you to be really interested in them, not "trying" them.

[@marette2845]

​@@ChiefJeyEfNo, people in France considers a kiss is a serious move and often seals the deal to pursue a relationship. We don't "try" several people at the same time, it would be considered like some kind of cheating.

[@larissabarbaruli]

so true

[@TrulyMademoizelle]

French guys are honestly just like Pepe Le Pew.

[@Kysleen]

Thanks for this great video. FYI, I’m here trolling a commenter in this comment section and he keeps taking the bait. Look at the comment with the most replies if you need some entertainment

[@alvegutt42]

i need french man

[@bonnie_gail]

non

[@mahmoudhannan]

I want ask you about dating Malaysian woman please

[@garethwest9069]

The MAJORITY of ppl care NOT for degeneracy. Man + woman = more men and women.

[@cogitoergosum9129]

Why you tell about there sexuality? That doesnt matter to me :D

[@billylav5254]

Maybe the guests didn’t mind/wanted to show diversity and inclusiveness to help normalize other sexual orientations other than just straight.

[@cmlkhf]

Because the straight and gay dating scenes are kind of different from each other in every country, so it's actually relevant to disclose that in a video that is specifically about dating culture. Another reason is the different relationship struggles. Women and men think and feel very differently from each other, which means straight relationships usually have a more complicated dynamic than gay relationships because it's harder for opposite sex partners to really understand each other. Basically, I'm sure they didn't have any bad intentions :)

[@An-kw3ec]

Yes, I read somewhere online that gay men tend to have better sexual compatibility and lesbians are so much more empathic with each other, straights are usually molded by gender roles so they rarely divide equally.

[@cmlkhf]

@@An-kw3ec Yeah, it's kinda sad :/ We'd probably have an easier time understanding each other if we got rid of gender roles. There would still be some challenges but it would be easier.

[@am.ahmedd]

Umm Ahmed from Palestine, Gaza Strip, good people, I live in a rented house, my orphaned children need you to communicate, attached with a personal photo 🌺🇵🇸🇵🇸

[@am.ahmedd]

🌙رمضان🇵🇸🇵🇸 كريم🌙 أم أحمد من فلسطين قطاع غزة يا اهل الخير أعيش في بيت أيجار أطفالي الايتام بحاجه إليكم لتواصل مرفق بصوره الشخصية

[@emZee1994]

I remember when this channel wasn't woke *sigh*

[@robbyten100]

People like you that complain about "woke" people are more annoying than the people you complain about.

[@garethwest9069]

Correct. Go woke, go broke ...

[@cjo4210]

Okay-so by this logic white South Africans are Africans? Black people werent only born/from African countries. Its 2022

[@lila133]

lmao what?