Naming Your Child | David Mitchell's Soapbox

David Mitchell discusses naming your child.
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David discusses the folly of giving your child a unique name. But as soon as you get used to a name do you stop noticing it's strangeness altogether? Just think of 'Peep Show'..
ABOUT DAVID MITCHELL'S SOAPBOX:
David Mitchell, star of UK TV favourites Peep Show and That Mitchell and Webb Look, brings us his unique perspective on the issues facing men of the world today.

[@markgearing]

Thirty years ago I didn’t want my daughter to have a name that came with baggage, so I named her “Karen”.

[@evegreenification]

Exactly

[@af21857]

Oof

[@johaquila]

In Germany that's actually still a really nice name, to my knowledge without any negative connotations.

[@icecoldnut5152]

funny enough the only karen I actually know is one of the sweetest people ever

[@odala8245]

@@icecoldnut5152 that's actually so true!

[@rogermckay4710]

I am convinced. My daughter is going to be named "Normal Bloke".

[@aapjew18]

That'll be sure to avoid any weird looks and raised eyebrows.

[@Richard_is_cool]

A solid solution.

[@isobelbrady7660]

Honestly I love David Mitchell but Ur comment was funnier than the entire video

[@lucyromero9011]

That’s hilarious, thanks 🤟😜🤣🤣🤣

[@jamestaylor5417]

Roger McKay “Lee’s one is quite difficult to cross-examine. Essentially what he’s saying is: ‘This is Tony, and he’s a random bloke!’”

[@katharineharrison9091]

I heard of a couple who tried out baby names at Starbucks. They would say their favourite baby names when asked their name. Wait for it to be called out and see how they felt about it. Ingenious

[@soapibubblesthestrange9972]

This is also a common way for trans people to try out name options, apparently its a really effective way of getting to know what you like!

[@soupisfornoobs4081]

@@soapibubblesthestrange9972 can confirm, it's a useful test, but you gotta wear it for a bit to see if it works,

[@elleeme9451]

Wow that is smart! I'm going to try out dog names that way...

[@oak1739]

That's an expensive test. Is it so hard to say the name out loud by yourself and come to a conclusion?

[@soupisfornoobs4081]

@@oak1739 it doesn't really work that way, mate. At all. And it's not expensive either because most people who'd choose to try this out already get Starbucks on a regular basis

[@unclecreepy4185]

I have twins i named Jamal and Juan. When people ask to see pictures of my twins, I show them a picture of Juan. Of course, they always ask to see pictures of the other one, so I tell them “if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Jamal”.

[@evelynsaunders1285]

terrible joke I love it

[@robertjohnson1647]

Next time you tell this joke remember to call them identical twins as it makes it work better. My sister's are twins, but only one of them is identical.

[@targard.quantumfrack6854]

@@robertjohnson1647 "My sister's are twins, but only one of them is identical." Lol

[@goodpie2772]

Did you name them that just for the joke?

[@globalwarmhugs7741]

No. 😂

[@redlady935]

What's even worse is when the uniqueness is in the pronunciation, not the spelling, so the poor child spends their entire life having to correct people and constantly get called the wrong thing.

[@martham4176]

I once had to deal with a mother who named her son Irene. When I referred to her child as "I-reen", she said, "Oh, no his name is I-ren-ay! I forgot to add the apostrophe after the I." This was Friday afternoon after a long week of dealing with difficult people. I just said flatly, "You named him Irene."

[@Scoutlily]

Martha M, I knew a female Cypriot called Irene at University, she pronounced her name I-ren-ay. I think she got used to being called I-reen whilst in the UK.

[@prunehead]

I hate how Lara's get pissed off being called Laura. Blame your parents, not me.

[@FrenkTheJoy]

Yeah, you're stuck always having your name pronounced how it's spelled, or if you say your name first then people spell it wrong.

[@Alexandra-ke4il]

Ms. Chanandler Bong Lara’s a common name, you’re just a prick lmao.

[@Flynn94]

I really wish the Beatles had been called Jongo, Pongo, Jingo, and Ringo. 😂

[@JungleEddie]

Either way it should be ...and Richard.

[@etiletsatsi5130]

Don't worry, there's a collie tribute band outside Las Vegas with these very same names.

[@Widmerpool99]

You mean they weren't?

[@WelderBarbie100]

😂

[@zapkvr]

Ringo changed his name by Deed poll. His real name is Richard

[@The_Butler_Did_It]

I once heard a mother calling after her daughter at a local market "come here Calista May..Calista May! are you listening to me?.... CALISTA MAAAAYYY..." I thought her daughter was called colostomy

[@almostfm]

But if you name a girl "Colostomy", it's going to be tough when she grows up and wants to accessorize her outfits. It's tough to find shoes to match the bag.

[@itsyeboimakkapakka1836]

The Butler Did It this is probably the funniest comment I’ve ever read.

[@carlosantuckwell]

@@itsyeboimakkapakka1836 I thought the two Replies were funnier.

[@janesmith699]

She's scarred for life by now 😂

[@janesmith699]

@Keir Campbell and step in a pile of dog poop.

[@pisse3000]

I am of the firm belief that every parent should be forced to introduce themselves with the name they're planning on naming their child for at least a month. If Moonshadow is good enough for your child, it should be good enough for you.

[@derycktrahair8108]

You are spot on. "Moonshadow" doesn't impress a bank manager (unless you're a hippie cult leader & worth millions). If you are "Hue Jarss" there will be no difficulty in joining Weight Watchers. Names ARE important. Thanks for your good advice. Signed, Mr Tryingto Befunny. (pronounced Feff uny).

[@subg8858]

Impressing bank managers is one of life's great concerns.

[@derycktrahair8108]

@@subg8858 you're right. Next to poverty, over population, climate change, & what ever favorite conspiracy theories one can entertain, Bank Managers come in at number 5. (insufficient funds indeed....I thought Banks had plenty of money). "Banks have money Sir, unfortunately none of it is YOURS".

[@olliefoxx7165]

@@derycktrahair8108 lol. Good one.

[@derycktrahair8108]

@@olliefoxx7165 Thanks. Either you've got a good sense of humor or you're as crazy as I am. All the best.

[@erinmaree1987]

Frankly, I think 'yoo-nique' names are evidence of parental narcissism. Your child is not an accessory, your possession or an extension of you.

[@pauljordan4452]

Indeed.

[@NSiFe]

lol Brazilians are all narcissists xD

[@AAARREUUUGHHHH]

I think so too, but at the same time I think it's weird how so many people have the same name

[@carthisan]

technically it is all three of those things ngl

[@JiggaWhooo]

Your child is definitely your possession and an extension of you.

[@drkatel]

Pediatrician here...oh, the stories I can tell! My kids complain about the "boring" names I gave them, but they should bow down in gratitude.

[@eagillum]

Former elementary school secretary here. Yesss to this.

[@kesalexander4800]

Midwife in a previous life, and one new mother, Ms Green, when asked what she was calling the baby girl.said Jade..that's Jade Green!

[@shinget]

@@kesalexander4800 she sounds accurate

[@paulinelarson465]

When my Bill, Matt, Joe, were in elementary school and complained about having other boys in their classes with same name - I reminded them, that they had a "weird" surname. Hence the deliberately common first and middle names. Thank your mother !

[@CrimsonKage]

My little sister went to School with a girl named Crystal Chanda Lear.

[@parypearl382]

I had a friend who named her child "Destany". The misspelling of an actual word was most irritating.

[@Bob3D2000]

WTF is that legal?!

[@mickeyrube6623]

Wouldn't that be pronounced des-TAN-ni?

[@ClayHales]

I've seen it spelled Destinee. The real kicker is the last name. Hooker. If that doesn't scream stripper, I don't know what does.

[@brickpig]

Misspelling of babies names was quite common amongst some of my younger friends 10 years ago. It didn't help that they idolised American pop culture....and couldn't spell. Example, Baylee

[@RKroese]

Pary Pearl, you are the one to judge.

[@emmdoubleyou]

Anyone else notice the baby called Jeremy gets changed to Jez when the shot changes?

[@Adam-pg8wp]

+Warbo Entertainment I was too busy trying to think of an excuse to name my kid Moon Unit

[@zhetios]

I think it's a reference to the peep show

[@akwardperson8212]

Warbo Richard turned to Ringo

[@philinonimus]

Akward Person that's because of ringos real name mr Richard starky

[@fergusbabb9722]

Yet your concern is not that one child is named 'moon unit'

[@tshandy1]

David Mitchell is my spirit animal. He would likely grow agitated at being referred to as a spirit animal, which makes him all the more my spirit animal.

[@X_Potato]

"and so to a lesser extent is your partner"

[@clairewillow6475]

Best part lol

[@danielpolanco5849]

that is my fav bit - so easy to miss!

[@DieFlabbergast]

Yes, I think we ALL noticed that.

[@ronoccc]

best bit

[@MonkeyButtMovies1]

My first born will be called "New Folder", the following children will be called New Folder (1), New Folder (2), New Folder (3) and so on and so forth

[@lucyelstonsoprano]

Ahhhhahahaah

[@awfulwoman]

Beautiful, is it a family name?

[@InvisiblerApple]

How about Final_Version? Or their younger siblings: v2_Finalfinal, & V2.2_Finalfinal_Final.

[@John_Smith.]

Oh god, I've found a sentient computer!

[@zapkvr]

Or Two point zero Three point zero Four point zero

[@heranje]

My goal for naming a child would be: uncommon enough that they wouldn't know 5 other kids by the same name, normal enough that it won't necessarily get a reaction and people will be able to spell it. My name is Iris and I feel like my mum nailed that one - everyone recognises it as a name, but I've rarely met other Irises.

[@casey6556]

As a Casey, I totally see what you mean and consider myself lucky that my parents struck the same balance

[@merk9569]

Excellent guide for naming a child. I was born in 1951. The name was spelled Deborah or Debra. Not exactly the same name but everyone treated it as though it was! In every class throughout my life there were multiple girls with my first name and it was common for them to have my first and middle name. In the work world, I was in a group of eight women: four with the same first name, two same first and middle name, with an age spread of 20+ years. Fortunately, we each had different spellings or nicknames: Deborah, Debra, Debbie, Debo. I definitely named my daughters unique names that are easily recognized and spelled! They were grateful to me because no one confused them for anyone else.

[@joywebster2678]

As a RN I met tons of Irises as 80 and 90yr olds back in the 80s. My favourite flower. But those names have to cycle a couple of generations to not have the old associations. I find it fascinating to see flower names returning again. My 95 yr old Mom still winces at the name Amber from old movies where that was the usual name for the stripper waaay back. Yet I liked that name! I like seeing old vintage names return rather than just switching boys names into girls names !

[@annalieff-saxby568]

I had an Auntie Iris when I was little.

[@cnrspiller3549]

I'm called Peregrine. In 55 years I've not met a single other person called Peregrine. Think my parents slightly over-cranked the rarity dial.

[@drSvensen]

Came back to this because of X Æ A-12 Musk

[@DewMan001]

Dear Elon Musk, Please see this video. Up yours, -James Burton

[@olibob203]

Rolls off the tounge

[@George14218]

@@olibob203 lol

[@xymist5605]

I think they pronounce that "Sasha".

[@spinal_capped]

That shit should be illegal, no matter how rich you are...

[@89tothbianka]

I spoke to my friend about crazy baby names like stripper names for girls like candy or precious and he said his daughter is called precious I just died a little.

[@captainblacktail8137]

There's a funny cycle with posh and stripper names. Basically popular posh names get turned to stripper names in a couple of generations. You can find a lot of older richer folks with the same name as modern day strippers.

[@ErraticConduct]

I met a child named Precious once, she was anything but Precious, and I hope to all the universe that I never meet her again.

[@barbarat5729]

He was your "friend" and you didn't already know his child's name? Ummm. Okay. Facebook acquaintances are not "friends."

[@MrBevoRules]

@@barbarat5729 I was thinking the same. Kinda strange.

[@liamsmith5013]

Barbara T perhaps they work together, but don’t talk often of their personal lives. You can be friends in one context and not in another.

[@jim191185]

Gonna call my son Bort.... It's a very popular name.

[@SF-rw1oz]

jim jimjim are you talking to me?

[@aapjew18]

So he's gonna be a bort?

[@IshtarNike]

jim jimjim Come along Bort.

[@RatelHBadger]

(We have run out of Bort license plates in the gift shop... repeat, we have run out of Bort license plates in the gift shop)

[@Gunnersaurus1]

My son is also named Bort

[@Neomaxizundweeby]

I'm naming my daughter Mayonnaise. We'll shorten it to May for everyone else, and since May isn't normally short for anything, no one will question it. But she'll know. She'll know her fucking name is Mayonnaise.

[@apcolleen]

Megatron Griffin.

[@robertsreilly]

Ben Delat may is often short for Amelia

[@bronaghmachaulaige6865]

Ben Delat whereas I will be calling my child Liz... short for LIZARD

[@badtotheappendixx]

Lizard or Liz

[@DC430]

Genius comment. Well played.

[@macboerTV]

Moon Unit

[@lxjoe96]

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my moon base. You've all been chosen to be part of my elite moon unit. Which is divided into 2 divisions: moon unit alpha, and moon unit zappa."

[@g1rhines]

And her brother, Dweezil.

[@goosetheft4187]

Pilot Inspektor

[@januwary3506]

It's the name of Frank Zappa's daughter

[@hhhfff7953]

Moon Unit Zappa

[@Padruig9]

He's right, I couldn't even find torrents for Peepshow, all I got was porn.

[@Rapscallion2009]

Hmm. That's actually quite a clever form of ghetto IP-enforcement, then?

[@Richard_is_cool]

+Rapscallion2009 As in naming your next game Grand Theft Auto V?

[@Koop784]

Interesting anti-piracy strategy.

[@annemariebenoit4263]

Hahahahaha

[@MCVessels]

What happens if you do a torrent search for The Two Men?

[@frets3516]

of course Lisas are trouble, haven't you seen the room?

[@AmateurSci]

You are tearing me apart!

[@nataliestavrum4451]

Oh. Hi Mark!

[@exitedaardvark5480]

Hey doggy

[@liquidgeorge]

Frets35 Lisa you so sexy.

[@oliverholmes-gunning5372]

My mother once toyed with naming me "Nehemiah." I'm profoundly grateful to my dad for putting his foot down on that occasion.

[@JohnFromAccounting]

I met a Zephaniah once. Very weird name, and he lived up to the weirdness. Bad names are a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[@Bannermann]

@@JohnFromAccountingI know a „Aramis Bartholomäus“ (both are first names) and he sure is an „interesting“ type of Lad.

[@TheJackhanbury]

David Mitchell clearly speaks perfect English as it seems he may be the only person in the history of youtube to have his speech transcribed into subtitles perfectly

[@vaclav_fejt]

These are not transcribed automatically. If the subtitles are automatic, they appear word-by-word, on the left. Someone wrote and timed these.

[@logan8638]

@@vaclav_fejt there are also the automatic subtitles along with the manual ones, you can see both options

[@TrackZero]

@@logan8638 That's now Logan, he was replying to someone from 8 years ago when the auto-transcription was not there.

[@logan8638]

@@TrackZero how would you know there was not auto transcription 8 years ago?

[@TrackZero]

@@logan8638 Because they only added it about 5 years ago.....this isn't an argument, I'm just explaining things FOR YOU.

[@wizardsuth]

In the pilot episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer some of the girls in Buffy's class talk about what a strange name Buffy is. Their names are Cordelia, Aura, Blue, Harmony, and Aphrodesia.

[@BillWiltfong]

I once new a girl named Michael. Perfectly serviceable name, once you got used to it. But still, her father's insistence that his firstborn had to be a son, who happened to look like a ravishing redheaded woman, seemed irrational.

[@joshuarosen6242]

I had a friend called Julian who was a woman. Fortunately for her, she had the most enormous boobs so at least no-one ever would have mistaken her for a man. Somewhat unsurprisingly, she called herself Jules so a lot of people who didn't know her well never realised.

[@TheCooderix]

Oh yeah, I know big tit-jules. She is wonderful.

[@ancilodon]

I knew a girl named Bruce. She brought somebody down, once.

[@MrInsdor]

TovaShai Funnily enough Elliot to me is a very feminine name since before watching Scrubs I have never heard of it (we don't have a name even barely similar to Elliot), so I just naturally made the assumption it is a girls name and even after learning it is a man's name it feels feminine to me. The end sounds like an old fashioned English/anglicized name like Margaret and Juliet.

[@rogermckay4710]

There are a few semi-famous female Michaels around. One of the Bangles (the hot redhead), and the actress who played Ma Walton for two.

[@sarahc561]

A girl at my nieces school is called 'Unique'. EDIT 4 years later... No she's not black, she's white and English.

[@A-Disappointed-Horse]

+sarah c That is the laziest attempt at a special name I've ever heard.

[@sarahc561]

Haha, it makes me want to say "unnnnii" like in the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon from the 80's. Also when she mentions her I sometimes quietly whisper to myself " freak or..."

[@duxnihilo]

+sarah c There's a bloke in Brazil called 'Three Rolls of Barber Wire' (in Portuguese). But that was a misunderstanding. A hilarious misunderstanding.

[@sarahc561]

Was it just one roll the parents wanted? : )

[@Manticore44]

sarah c She's not the only one

[@tarquinnff3]

I watched this video having no idea it was about me. o.O

[@almostfm]

Oblivious to the things around you--typical Tarquin.

[@tarquinnff3]

XD

[@D3cyTH3r]

+Anna Quillfeldt One never refers to a Targuin as 'bloke'.

[@almostfm]

D3cyTH3r For people named Tarquin, don't you commonly address them as "m'Lord"?

[@mariusbaltazarrozenberg-ho9367]

+D3cyTH3r I love the names Tarquin, Fabian, Beowulf, Raphael, Simeon, Solomon & Oliver for boys, girls' names I love are: Ruby, Margaret, Dagmar, Elisabeth, Sophia & Ingrid

[@noragardner4072]

I think the parents should also try giving their kids a good middle name as well. It's a good backup if they don't like their first

[@Our_Remedy]

Worked for my mom. Can't see why we don't employ this more often

[@juice6521]

Middle names are dumb and just add bloat, just give your child a name with flexibility so they can be as creative or bland as they want.

[@ryanname2503]

@@juice6521 middle names are not dumb at all and don't add bloat, they are ignored for the most part.

[@juice6521]

@@ryanname2503 Until you have to do paperwork.

[@cat-fm5rm]

@@juice6521 I have two middle names and I quite like them. Paperwork doesn't bother me either

[@BenRangel]

Gingo and Pongo are my favourite Beatles

[@GhastlyCretin]

i love the way he takes the pet peeves i have and somehow makes me hate them on more levels than i knew i did. he always hits the spot.

[@Cheeseanonioncrisps]

"You've probably never had to name anything, barring the odd pet..." Hi, meet my kids! Sparky's twelve, Fifi's seven and Fluffy McFluff Face is forty two and works as a lawyer.

[@brettknoss486]

Cheeseanonioncrisps How old is Yabba DaHutt?

[@phoenixfriend]

I laughed way too much at this, it so wasn't cool.

[@bismuthcrystal9658]

That's quite a range of childbearing years.

[@stephanegiaccolini6650]

Cheeseanonioncrisps Mr Geldof, is that you?

[@Gunnersaurus1]

Calling my kids Rex and Rover

[@ssh1487]

I think some of the worst naming cases are when parents name their child after a thing and can't even get the spelling right, for example there was a girl at my school called Saphire, bless her...

[@meg5986]

sapphire is a precious jewel and a lovely name, saphire is a risk assesment software, maybe thats what they were going for

[@chameleonedm]

A lot of precious stones are actually names: Ruby Jasper Jade Amber Sapphire Pearl Crystal Beryl People do use others too but they're a lot rarer, can't say I have ever come across a Diamond or an Agate but they're out there

[@naverilllang]

@@chameleonedm I'm naming my baby Corundum

[@gdj6298]

@@naverilllang She'll grind you down. Look, someone had to say it...

[@naverilllang]

@@gdj6298 take your like and leave

[@milktea4270]

As far as uniqueness, I like really old, near-forgotten names. The ones that almost sound pompous, but not quite, like Adelaide, Gilbert, Ruby, Everett, etc. Anything much more unique than that just sounds ridiculous to me, lol.

[@Fremder14]

Just be cautious enough to make sure that it's not a "granny" name.. it's a fine line u don't want to walk IMO

[@milktea4270]

Diego Castillo That’s what I’m worried about if I ever have kids one day, lol. Would definitely want equal input from my husband and to run the names by my mother.

[@miketeabag6501]

From one hot beverage-related username to another, I fully agree and do like those names, although i think Gilbert possibly comes too close to that fine line of grannitude.

[@DirtyPoul]

@@Fremder14 What was considered "granny" names changed every 2 generations or so. Some of the popular baby names today were granny names 50 years ago.

[@KylarStern244]

Ah yes, other than the *city named Adelaide and the gemstones called Ruby* Totally near-forgotten.

[@scarletpeoni9347]

'and to a lesser extent so is your partner'😂😩

[@LeeLee-pk4ss]

As someone with a unique name I totally agree and would like to point out he missed a great deal of reasons why you shouldn't mess your kid up with a weird name. Just because the adult thinks ahh thats sweet, or cool, or clever doesn't mean that he or she will not have to deal with their entire school career being the butt of every joke or later in life perverts making your name an innuendo or whatever. Just please don't mess your kid up.

[@TheIntelligentMoose]

LeeLee 34 what’s ur name, out of interest. Mines Stelios, fairly common greek name but living in Canada for most of my life made it a lil weird haha

[@theone-ro6rz]

What's your name? I went to school with a Gugulethu (Goo-goo-let-ooh) but most people called her Google for ease, she preferred that than people mispronouncing her name.

[@DirtyPoul]

@@theone-ro6rz What the actual fuck? Sounds like the name of some Lovecraftian monster. Gugulethu and Cthulu. They go well together.

[@DirtyPoul]

@@drewp.weiner5708 I assumed it was someone from the west. If it's a traditional name in another language and she speaks that language, then I think it's a perfectly good name. But there's a huge difference between the two.

[@annalieff-saxby568]

Well said.

[@jampigs]

I genuinely talked to a dad-to-be the other day who wanted to call their unborn child ‘Love Commander’. True story.

[@MostBoringNameEver]

No.....oh please no...

[@NB-ky5ol]

jampigs That’s awful.

[@miketeabag6501]

Hahaha that's amazing! 😂

[@TheDominantSloth]

What do you think of the name Tarquin Oliver Nimrod?

[@JJDvorshak]

Come on Sophie... at least give the poor bugger a chance!

[@TheDominantSloth]

***** What about Bruce?

[@JJDvorshak]

''Bruce!?'' No not exactly like Bruce. How about James Ian?

[@TheDominantSloth]

***** Haha oh I could talk about Peep Show all day.

[@Gilmaris]

"Nimrod" has always sounded like a name in reverse to me. Although "Dormin" sounds like a name out of Tolkien's mythology. Which reminds me of "Rodney", which has always struck me as having a fantasy-like quality to it when read backwards. "It was in the land of Yendor, where Trebor was king..."

[@avault-tecbobblehead2445]

I'm very please he followed through with his viewpoint. I'm sure Barbara Coren-Mitchell is thrilled.

[@TheYasmineFlower]

+basilbrushnz Little girls named Barbara are probably mostly called by nicknames, anyway. It's one of those aspects of "oldfashioned" names that I like - there's a lot of opportunity to find nicknames.

[@RatelHBadger]

I hope she doesn't become a vet or farmer...

[@he5890]

biased much against vets and farmers are we? fuckin knob

[@ajrwilde14]

Barbie is even worse.

[@alephnull4044]

@UpSideДown I agree. That is a pretty terrible choice of name nowadays.

[@Rony2453]

This reminds me of George Foreman the boxer, naming all his children's first names GEORGE. How confusing or egotistical is that?

[@nelsonmongare9515]

Veronica Vale He spent most of his adult life getting hit in the head by athletes that weighed at least 200 pounds. It less of a ego thing and more of a 'probably can't think of any other names' thing.

[@frostyandtwothirds]

Even worse, his parents named him after a grill

[@poppers7317]

His poor daughters.

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

Quite a lot of both.

[@gs425]

@@frostyandtwothirds hahahahaha

[@bumberkluskmk1131]

As a registrar I salute this sentiment

[@MissEmziWemzie]

My friend had a baby book and the names were in categories, categories like "Gangster names" and "Names if you want your child to be bullied"

[@darkadd]

I once met a lady whose name was "urethra," ......I shit you not.

[@djsherz]

She was clearly taking the piss.

[@jamesdettmann94]

@@djsherz best comment I've seen today

[@alansmithee419]

@@jamesdettmann94 I wouldn't have got his joke if you hadn't made your comment. Thank you.

[@cebruthius]

Urethra Franklin?

[@Metal-Possum]

@@cebruthius I've been calling her that for years.

[@thomaskirkness-little5809]

Parents who give kids childish names annoy me. Do they not know that the child will become an adult? Just give them a normal name and then a childish nickname.

[@Widdekuu91]

A woman I know, was called Maartje (which means Little Martine.) That had a bit of an effect on how she presented herself, to the world. By the time she became a teacher at 20 years old, she was still quite shy and had no authority whatsoever. She was kind, but a pushover. And I (one of her students) was 2 years older than her, because I'd followed previous educations and thén came to "her" school. Some classmates were 16 and called her miss or teacher or 'lady' or 'miss Teacher' or 'Teacher Little-Martine.' But I wasn't going to call someone 2 years younger than me, 'miss teacher' so (without any bad intentions) I usually just yelled; 'Héy, Little Martine?! I have a question!' To top it off, she'd taken material from 'teachers class examples dot nl', and used the full example-lesson. Which I had seen happen two times before, in previous educations. "Who wants to answer the first question?' she asked, having drawn 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, on the board. I was feeling a bit cheeky, so I walked on and she asked question 1. I wrote the answer down. "Right, now for question two...', she started. And without saying anything, I filled in the 2, 3, 4, 5. She was flabbergasted and I said; 'teachers class examples dot nl.' And she turned bright red. I shook her hand politely and told her I was going to go finish old homework, because I already knew the lesson she had "prepared." And there I went. It sounds a lot cooler than it was bytheway. I just walked out of class, that's all. And we didn't have a fight or anything, me and Maartje were fine. But I still feel bad for people having a 'tje/kje/pje/je' at the end of their name. Diminitives are for nicknames, not for the names itself. Although 'Mensje' is a cute name, in Dutch. It means little human. Used to be a popular name, back in the day (100 years ago.)

[@mononootje]

@@Widdekuu91 My god, the "small" names are the worst in Dutch. Parents really have to wonder: if my child is 40 years old, will someone see him/her as an adult person?

[@Widdekuu91]

@@mononootje Yes, exactly! I remember two sisters, one (coincidence) called Maartje, the other one Noortje. Noortje was older, but it really confused me that both were basically called 'Little Noor" and "Little Martine." It's always cute to have diminutive-names and I'm not suggesting you can't call a child Maartje when they're young, as long as the name is Martine on her ID-card xD

[@paulinelarson465]

I had big fight with my ex-husband, close to 50 years ago, who was insisting that William was "pretentious" and the boy WOULD be Billy. As my mother-in-law pointed out, mothers fill out the paperwork. Bill IS William, on paper, where it counts. And he finds it amusing that his father never figured it out.

[@ailblentyn]

The idea of having an official name and then unofficial shortenings is a pretty recent one. If you look at church and legal records for previous centuries, you often see someone's name shifting around. E.g. "Bill" on a birth record, then "William" on a marriage record. I don't see the problem.

[@Yimello]

I think that naming your child after yourself is just as weird as giving them some weird name like Trixabelle. For example, all of George Foreman's five sons are named George. I couldn't imagine the horror of being referred to as "junior".

[@310BPM]

Yup.. even his daughter is named George. ^^

[@TheYasmineFlower]

ALL named George? Is that like in a convent, where you have "Sister Mary Joseph", "Sister Mary Clarence", "Sister Mary Poppins" etc.?

[@dragonfire7354]

*Cries in being a Jr.* Fr though I can never take anyone seriously when they call me "insertletter.J." It just *sounds* like a childs name.

[@utubeusername00]

My cat’s name is Trixiebelle

[@FrenkTheJoy]

@utubeusername00 okay

[@robinarkell7221]

My grandmother is names Norma Lee It took me until I was nine to realize why I always felt like giggling when I heard it Coupled with my mother's four syllable, supposedly Swahili name (we're from the USA, no one in our family speaks the language) I am very happy to have a simple, normal name

[@mattdavis9601]

Marilyn Monroe's real name was Norma Jean. It was a perfectly normal ladies name for a long time.

[@CH-xq6if]

​@@mattdavis9601 say norma lee outloud.

[@GettyDarling]

When I first watched Peep Show, I was frankly shocked to discover that it starred David Mitchell and Robert Webb. I mean, how did they know pallid 30-something men were my kink?

[@sarahkate2669]

Generally, I agree. However, recently I saw a list of 'Crazy babynames given 2019' and only about 30% of those names were truly ridiculous and made up while the rest were simply foreign. Thus, I have a new appreciation of the reality that a lot of odd names one encounters may be the normal-blokiest of names elsewhere.

[@imokin86]

Exactly. If I were British or American, I guess everybody would be joking about me being a henchman to an evil mad scientist. Here in Russia my name is as normal-bloky as can be.

[@chameleonedm]

@@imokin86 Igor or Egor isn't rare in the UK tbh, we have had a lot of immigration. There is the old "throw the switch joke" but that stopped past the age of 17 to be honest

[@imokin86]

@@chameleonedm oh, I didn't know that, thanks for telling this. By the way, Igor and Egor are two different names in Russian, Egor has stress on the O and is ultimately derived from George.

[@chameleonedm]

@@imokin86 Oh don't worry, one of my closest friends is called Georgiy, very aware of the difference haha

[@eagillum]

Clearly, yes.

[@Dostwyn]

In many countries, people with English names often have to fight with a lot of stereotypes. I don't mean English speaking people with English names, but natives with English names, because they're usually from lower class families who give their children "cool-sounding" English names. There was an article in the German magazine Der Spiegel a few years ago called "Diagnosis: Kevin", and it was about how Germans with the name Kevin are stereotyped as stupid, even by their teachers, which results in lower grades. And I have to admit: of all the German Kevins I've met, only one of them wasn't a complete idiot.

[@J_Tramel]

Anyone with the name Kevin deserves scorn.

[@nataliestavrum4451]

Yeah, Kevins suck. Not as much as Steve, though.

[@Liberty_Freedom_Brotherhood]

“Waynes and Shanes are always a pain” - UK teacher’s rule of thumb!

[@livb6945]

That's true in Sweden too

[@Widdekuu91]

+Dostwyn I've noticed that with Anne and Charlotte. Creepy coïncidences. All the Charlotte's I know, were having proper issues with their faces. They all (about 4-5) looked like they had a serious problem with their brains, but they all did not. All the 'Anne's' (or Anne-claire/Anne-lotta/Anne-Louise/Anne-liesa/Anne-rose) were ladies with straight hair, usually red and/or blonde, that worked in kindergarten and had a troubling past of several types of abuse. They were all skinny, all pretty and all of them had a passion for singing. I'm talking a number of at least 12 here. Several in school and others through friends.

[@mattjames4978]

I'm just going to name my children, Offspring 01, Offspring 02 and Offspring 02.4.

[@adarian]

Gotta keep them separated.

[@dadillen5902]

What about my brother Darrel and my other brother Darrel. ( Bob Newhart reference)

[@alansmithee419]

There's something off about these names...

[@Watcher413]

Why Offspring 02.4? That’s weirder than me naming my 8th Abby’Normal

[@mattjames4978]

Gunther Vladimer because the average family has 2.4 children.

[@Fragacide]

One of m favorite parts is watching the backgrounds to see what clever little things they've added, like for instance when he makes the reference to "Richard" turning to "Ringo" you can see the nameplate that said Richard said Ringo instead in the next shot.

[@erinrising2799]

and spelling something weird doesn't make it unique, it just makes it misspelled

[@hedvigsylwan1708]

I just assumed this was Davids quarantine project until I looked at the date lol

[@uchihaitachi888]

Not to mention those stupid "letter replacements." I recall a "Jaxon."

[@schoo9256]

I went to school with a kid named Jaxon in the 90s way before this fashion for naming kids random shit hit my town, I legit thought that was how it was spelt for the first 20 years of my life.

[@ChrisSmith-bh2hg]

@@schoo9256 Now you know the correct spelling? Jaxsun

[@WelderBarbie100]

My friend spelled her son’s name like that. I asked her why and she said it’s because she wanted his nickname to be Jax.

[@chunkybird1241]

And also Gorja... Like actress Gorja Fox

[@Janeoffools]

Jackson isn’t much better. It’s a surname ffs

[@vfrl4fma]

It makes sense to me to try and pick unusual names for your child, just because it makes life easier for people. For example, my name is Vincent, not a common name which is really helpful for me, I know that if someone shouts "Vincent" they are invariably looking for me, and similarly it's helpful for other people. Say my friends are relaying something I did, whoever they're talking to doesn't have to bother with asking "Which Vincent is this?" they know exactly who the other is talking about instantly.

[@bp56789]

Do you like the movie Gattaca?

[@310BPM]

em diar Since when are names meant to "make life easier"? They're just so people have something to call themselves, and to call other people.

[@310BPM]

em diar Sure, it makes it easier, as in you have something to identify other people and yourself with, but surely that doesn't mean parents have to choose easy-to-pronounce names. As with animals, the names were chosen to identify them, not to make them easy to say or remember. That's what I was getting at. Christ, you are dumb, aren't you? ^^ Also, I did read every comment. I don't see why you need to resort to name-calling, but I suppose ad hominem arguments are as good as it gets with internet folk, hm? ^^

[@TwoJaysMoon]

Vincent is unusual but not unique. There’s a huge difference.

[@IsomerMashups]

Okay, but "Vincent" is a name that has existed for centuries, and it will not get your resume thrown in the trash.. "Typhanniacca" will

[@somanken]

And for the love of god, don't name your child, "Parent name Jr" , perhaps pay a professional to be creative for you if your mind can only recall your own name when naming someone.

[@EC2019]

"Jr" is for when you name a son directly after his father. "II" is for when you name your baby boy after his uncle, grandfather or other indirect male relative. So Michel Roux Jr is incorrectly named, because Michel Roux Sr is his uncle. Since his father is Albert Roux, Michel Jr should have been Michel Roux II.

[@MGustave]

É Caoimhe As far as I know, using 'II' or 'III' looks incredibly American, and rather brutish. Just my tuppence.

[@g1rhines]

'Parent Name II: The revenge of Parent Name!"

[@yogsothoth7594]

Mark II

[@jasperfk]

Yog Sothoth Mark Mark Corrigan the third

[@shelbynamels973]

Read a story once about a couple refusing to name their daughter. They just called her 'baby', figuring that eventually they'd hit on a suitable name based on the child's personality or other features as she got older. The story unleashed a firestorm of controversy from readers, some questioning how they were even allowed to take the baby out of the hospital without a name in the birth register.

[@aemelnick]

In some jurisdictions, birth certificates with "Baby Boy" or "Baby Girl" are common and can be amended days or weeks later.

[@mattdavis9601]

I heard something similar; but it involved twins. They couple finally decided to let the wife's brother from Florida do the honors. He named the daughter Deniece, a name everyone was surprisingly okay with. They were less okay with what he named their son, DeNephew.

[@shelbynamels973]

@@mattdavis9601 🤣😂

[@echognomecal6742]

There have been little girls of non-English speaking parents named "Femalé" bc the immigrant parents thought that the people in the hospital named the children...seeing the identification label on the bassinet. ("last name, gender" interpreted as "last, first") An older relative of mine told me this occurred a number of times in her teaching career.

[@echognomecal6742]

@@mattdavis9601 Thanks, that's a better version of the joke than I've heard previously :)

[@berkpick]

My parents went the opposite route but with a mind toward these points. They gave me a boring traditional first name but then called me by my more interesting middle name assured that, should I grow up to be dull, I would find it easy to later switch from my middle to my first name. Of course my last name is Pickell, pronounced pickle so normal wasn't exactly in the cards but at least my mother suppressed her initial impulse to call me Peter.

[@ErraticConduct]

It's kind of sadly true. I see too often, as a teacher, that the kids with the unusual names are either the bullies or the bullied. Most often the kids with normal names sort of "fade" into the class or social group. Tho just because they fade doesn't mean they aren't noticed in their own way. Usually it's those kids that are my favourites! I mean, not that I _have_ favourites 😂

[@evegreenification]

You may not have thought of it, but you are part of the problem. Hope that helps your students' lives.

[@7Zsta]

@@evegreenification true that!

[@BenRangel]

Henceforth baby showers/baptisms (whateber the first event with a baby is) should be named Person Creation Launch Parties.

[@archiermanilo23]

There's a part of my extended family, something to do with my mother's cousin's daughter, their last name is Stickland, and I shit you not they called their child Woody.

[@mrwhatever9025]

Totally agree if parents want a strange name then they are free to change their own name to whatever they want instead of subjecting their child to strange names they wished they had...

[@swarburton24]

I'm not self absorbed, I'm just always right, and nobody else's opinion matters...

[@DieFlabbergast]

Have you considered that he may just be refreshingly honest, unlike all you hypocrites?

[@anamaliify]

+The Chewbaccacabra Definition of douche. 1a: a jet or current of liquid (as a cleansing solution) directed against or into a bodily part or cavity (as the vagina) b: an act of cleansing with a douche. Therefore a "Douchebag" is likely to be a large bag which holds the liquid in question, until such time as someone sees fit to spray it all over their ""bodily cavities". You are welcome. :) The definition you're looking for, for Simon would be - I believe, An arrogant cunt. To be awfully British about it.

[@simonshere6895]

Simon Warburton ...couldnt agree more

[@greatbigbadger]

Quite so.

[@rantymcrant-pants9536]

Pay attention lad. It's a joke based on the content of the video.

[@JustaSimplefact]

This is got to be the most helpful thing he's ever created

[@onceonly1111]

'Choose carefully. Their name will be permanent.' 'Oh I like that name.'

[@DieFlabbergast]

What? "Carefully" or "Permanent"?

[@ishashka]

Choose wisely, as it can't be changed later.

[@SingularNinjular]

Shout-out to Moon Unit...

[@PrincessFidelma]

I was in a bookshop years ago, and overheard 2 men talking about names, one said "My friend's parents called him John, but called his younger sister Skylark. It was like they suddenly got creative."

[@DeFactoLeader]

I think last names can be good. Unlike first names, last names are something you're branded with so nobody can logically find it strange if you have an admittedly out-of-place, but interesting and great sounding name nevertheless, even if your first name is common. I once actually had a doctor with the last name "Prime". He treated me once when I started to get random nose bleeds, but I was so enticed by the full title "Dr. Prime" that I never forgot the name (and this was when I was like 10).

[@mattdavis9601]

I hope his son named his grandson Optimus.

[@dustinchlystek5146]

In case anybody missed it, the name Richard in the background did in fact change to Ringo.

[@tobybartels8426]

And too bad the others weren't Jongo, Pongo, and Gingo. I mean, a 1970s Lennon, with those round glasses, would really work as Jongo, don't you think? It would certainly go well with Yoko.

[@invertedgames7993]

Baby Jeremy being renamed to Jez when he mentions peep show was a nice touch

[@ObaREX]

At first I thought one of the baby names in the background being "Jeremy" was a coincidence. But when it turned to "Jez" I knew it was on purpose.

[@jackpivarnik7205]

I can't believe how much time I've spent today letting Mark lecture me on various topics.

[@RealHeyMark]

I love the fact that the baby named 'Richard' for most of the video is named 'Ringo' in the last shot. Well played.

[@Silas_MN]

If you want to give them a unique name, make it their middle name! You have sufficiently proved your uniqueness, but in such a way that it doesn't actually interfere with their introductions.

[@returnoftheredeye]

I think the main concern when naming a child should be "Is this name gonna in any way mean that they catch a load of shit growing up?" If your last name is 'File', don't name your child 'Peter'. (I stole that last part from Brass Eye)

[@sarahkinsey5434]

returnoftheredeye that was a running joke on The IT Crowd too!

[@Tjalve70]

I once talked to an englishman who had a friend whose last name was Head. And he called his son Richard. That should seriously be illegal.

[@bartholomewdan]

@@Tjalve70 I mean, on one hand it's a crime, but on the other hand that means anyone can call him "dickhead" whenever they want as it's technically his name, which is pretty cool.

[@Tjalve70]

@@bartholomewdan Pretty cool for everyone else. Not quite so cool for the poor kid.

[@allenjenkins7947]

A bit like the ad on Australian TV where Mr Murray is about to name his son Callum.

[@OzzyOscy]

*"We'll be **_launching a new human_** in Q4, and be giving it a **_bespoke_** name in due course."*

[@Shakes-Off-Fear]

Elon Musk and Grimes clearly never watched this. I feel sorry for X Æ A-12 Musk

[@waterbottle1144]

Yeah no shit. "Gotta name my kid something special because I cant just fucking write "Kyle"!"

[@reubenmanzo2054]

How do you even pronounce that? I feel like Tom Tucker: "Our next contestant is Omar (attempts to pronounce last name) something September eleventhy."

[@vladdracul5072]

I don't, it's a great name that hints at the future. Can't give 12 billion resource devourers all the same generic names after all.

[@vladdracul5072]

@@waterbottle1144 Kyle XY is okay, but just Kyle?

[@waterbottle1144]

@@vladdracul5072 I'm just saying it's stupid. Like, just write "Kyle." (IMO)

[@breadonitsown8950]

It's so true! Parents who give their kids weird names out of their own vanity are terrible!

[@JaceStream]

I only watched until 1:15 so far, but I feel that this guy really gets me! Think I understand what this video is all about and will not watch any further. Thanks!

[@woodytables8196]

I once met a girl, and no joke here, named 'worldprimera'...... To date, the strangest name I've ever heard

[@bartholomewdan]

Sounds like the name of a newspaper.

[@sharonmullins1957]

Love how the baby names kept changing, in the background.

[@TheChugg11]

My name (Susan) completely misleads people who are about to meet me into thinking I'm a sensible person and not the almighty idiot that I really am. Both of my two have 'normal' names BUT their middle names are ridiculous, just in case they get pompous when they grow up!

[@nat3007]

Didn't Terry pratchett say Susan was a sensible name?

[@lobstermash]

You sound like a Susie or Susiepoo to me ...

[@FaithHealer1]

Loving the Moon Unit Zappa reference in the background. I do quite like the irony of one of Zappa's other children, Dweezil, actually actively wanting that name over the Ian on his birth certificate.

[@IsomerMashups]

A friend of mine wanted a unique male name starting with A for a story, and I came up with Arcadiance. Ironically, "arcadian" means "a person who lives a simple quiet life."

[@HasekuraIsuna]

Perhaps then, it balance out lol

[@imokin86]

Arkady (Аркадий) is a fairly common name in Russia. Although today it sounds a bit pretentious or old-timey.

[@BigLadStudios]

Nice little nod to Peep Show in the back there. Tarquin. For those who may not know Tarquin is what Sophie wanted to call their child originally, Tarquin Olivia Nimrod. I'm not joking.

[@mrsilikeeggs]

+SonicSuperBoom1 Speaking of nods to Peep Show, the name Jeremy on one of the other cots turns to Jez.

[@georgeamoran]

Jake's Corner I don't want a son who sound like he's from a decaying eastern European dynasty

[@paulmeadia6607]

Oliver

[@Zabiru-]

I must say I love the wording "trying to launch a new type of person you've created".

[@alexeverett308]

I know a family who's last name is "Tickle" They named their daughter "Tess"

[@russellmoore8187]

False

[@michaelnaisbitt1639]

Alex Everett-last I knew a bloke whose surname was harbour so they called him Sydney ??

[@johnnywins7031]

Alex Everett-last You Are Lying.

[@wendyboothman3262]

Poor Drew Peacock

[@Belty007]

No word of a lie i have a friend called Murry Christmas

[@pallasathena1555]

My niece once said that chlamydia was a nice name

[@jayrap94]

If it wasn't an STI I'd agree

[@DieFlabbergast]

So is Emphysema.

[@hunterdumont398]

After discovering the copious amounts of people on the facebook search bar that share the same name as me (violating my feelings of uniqueness) this video provides me comfort

[@zeroartisan]

Naming my daughter "Space Vixen"

[@CounterNerd]

Maybe the parents thought Urethra was a name out of Xena: The Warrior Princess or something.

[@frankthetank2550]

You're right. I'm going to name my kid David Mitchell

[@WelderBarbie100]

There’s a family in a neighbouring town with the last name Lear. They had a daughter and named her Crystal. But the thing is, they also made her middle name Chanda.... Crystal Chanda Lear 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@MonkeyButtMovies1]

That's one girl who'll be giving up her maiden name if she marries...

[@PrincessFidelma]

That's friggin genius...

[@matthewcooke4011]

One of my pet hates (number 118 to be precise) is strangely spelled/pronounced names, especially when the bearer is quick to get irate when people can't spell or pronounce it correctly. It's not other people's fault! I was training a new employee "Patrizia" at work once and called her Patricia. I used questioning tone, obviously expressing my lack of confidence in the pronunciation. She angrily spat back me, "It's Pa-TRIT-sia, not Patricia!"

[@jbtpa895]

Friend worked in a hospital nursery, a Mom had to call the day after they went home to ask how the baby's name was spelled. She'd made it up and couldn't remember.

[@Delinae]

But I tried finding David Mitchell's book on Amazon and kept running into Cloud Atlas....

[@Snickersnek]

I'm Tom. I'm glad. I was almost called Tertius.

[@blupunk01]

David Mitchell once again blessing all with his wisdom.

[@andrewjones575]

But he discredited himself by giving his daughter an elderly name.

[@Glasstable2011]

My aunt was christened as Ann. When she was old enough she changed her first name by deed poll to Charlotte and now goes by Charlotte-Ann. Fucking Charlotte-Ann?! CHARLATAN?!?