Deadly Towers (NES) - Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)

The Nerd finds out how deadly difficult it is to complete another bad video game, when he attempts to review Deadly Towers for the NES. This is Angry Video Game Nerd Episode 54.
Deadly Towers for the NES was, incredibly, a hit in 1987, back when roleplaying games were harder to find. Years later, it's hard to imagine what people were thinking- this game ate it hard whether you like RPGs or not.
In fact, the Nerd hates the game so much he can't find the words to describe it- so for this special episode, he solicited comments from you, the fans, to create the only fan-written episode of AVGN.
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[@mariecarie1]

Dude, whoever drew the picture at 1:03 has serious talent.

[@ryanlastname3039]

Nice

[@dr.toxicgamingmadscientist]

@@ryanlastname3039 ok

[@that_deadeyegamer7920]

@@dr.toxicgamingmadscientist k

[@pursuing222]

K

[@dredgenshadelz6494]

K

[@faolan1686]

you know it's bad when it makes you swear in German.

[@WinVisten]

+faolan1686 Ja.

[@seandewar47]

Do any of you know what he saying because I don't know, I thought I was Scottish or Irish or something

[@uselessDM]

+Falco The Great The game is shit, the game fucks you harder than life.

[@seandewar47]

useless1997 thanks

[@Spentastic]

Das spiel ist shize means this game is shit in English

[@vivekantoni2134]

Having a bad day? Better watch AVGN videos.

[@manhnguyenuc6096]

vivek antoni im agree

[@codymitchell2784]

vivek antoni a

[@sunken3486]

liked this comment cause it legit describes me rn

[@moogleking]

Always

[@Bman32x]

vivek antoni absolutely. Been a go to for me for a good 10 years

[@TwoFacedGentleman]

Everyone's shocked that he spoke German. Meanwhile, I'm still laughing at the Ludder joke.

[@MixMasterLar]

Whoever wrote that one is a stone cold genius

[@MrSpooner1985]

I had to pause the video after that because i kept laughing. i so want that to be an urban dictionary definition.

[@ing_frantisek_mohykan]

what is ludder maniga?

[@redmage8719]

Same

[@thecinematicmind]

@@MrSpooner1985 Officially it is on Urban Dictionary

[@sertu1462]

6:52 "das spiel ist scheiße. dieses Spiel fickt dich härter als das Leben" haha. thats german and means "this game is shit. this game fucks you harder than the life does".

[@sertu1462]

leute chillt doch mal

[@LarryKoopa]

XD

[@LudeUwe]

+Larry Koopa PIECE of SHIT

[@Mrmhmd1993]

haha geil ^^ ich liebe deutsch

[@ericaburns8652]

I didn't know that

[@SuperSaiyanLink093]

These quotes are gold. Not only that, but most adhere to AVGN's reviewing/cursing style just fine. If he hadn't told us about using fan quotes at the beginning I wouldn't have guessed something was off. Great job from everyone involved!

[@WillieManga]

The only one that doesn't sound like AVGN is the part where he yelled in German. And that's only because He usually wouldn't be able to and even said "Well, I thought I'd give that a try." Otherwise, that was a very funny moment

[@bouchandre]

Have you ever been so angry that you started shouting in a foriegn language?

[@facu40000]

Yeah, I shouted in italian, french and japanese. But never, NEVER in german. Dude, thats harcore

[@locke103]

whatever broken japanese i can manage.

[@drumF_4200]

Alexandre Boucher NORMAL CS GO SHIT.

[@jfcinc]

Alexandre Boucher many times

[@HiperPivociarz]

You have my respect for using Polish xD

[@nottherealbruins9509]

AVGN: The last time I saw towers this deadly... me: don't say 9/11...

[@nottherealbruins9509]

Is that really necessary?

[@nottherealbruins9509]

But I don't want to have sex with a pony. You sure your brain is working properly?

[@nottherealbruins9509]

Oh, look, you couldn't think of anything to say so you just said "stfu horsefucker." You know you're wrong but you just don't want to admit it.

[@nottherealbruins9509]

Still can't think of anything meaningful to say?

[@MrTreyshawn22]

Dumbest shit I ever read lol

[@YOTLP]

6:51 "DAS SPIEL IST SCHEIßE! DIESES SPIEL FICKT DICH HÄRTER ALS DAS LEBEN!" That German made my day :D Pretty good for a non native speaker :)

[@TXenoT]

ich muss sagen, die aussprache war echt gut ^^

[@desWolfskralle]

nightshadowbeimer Das war das beste am ganzen Video xD

[@TXenoT]

auf jeden Fall :D

[@miguelpozos4111]

What does that mean? I don't know much german, but i think i can make out, "This game is sh*t."

[@TXenoT]

Miguel Pozos this game is shit, it fucks you harder then life , this is what it mean ^^

[@thephantom496]

I was at a museum that had an exhibit called "History of Gaming: From Pong to GTA V". Guess what! This game REPRESENTED bad games on NES!

[@ThatsPety]

lol

[@austinbevis4266]

Your museum sounds awesome

[@thephantom496]

austin bevis The Swedish People’s Museum of Modern History in Stockholm.

[@toastedmarshmallowkitty]

you know it's funny that I forgot he didn't come up with these words cause they all sound like something the nerd would say...until he yelled in german

[@GalenMarekOfficial]

The moment when u enjoy an AVGN episode and suddenly he says a sentence in your own language 0.o

[@GalenMarekOfficial]

Not at all! I was just suprised as hell cause it was like the last thing i expected, but a very funny idea. (:

[@SpongeMagic]

Galen Marek What is it in English?

[@GalenMarekOfficial]

"Dieses Spiel ist scheiße! Dieses Spiel fickt dich härter als das Leben!" = "This game sucks! This game fucks you harder than life itself!"

[@bigs8927]

DERUUK7524 yes but its the same when you just say "the game sucks "

[@ClassicMist360]

I am a Dickhead no its not. thats like saying "this game is cool" is the same as saying "this game is fucking amazing". they are both similar in meaning but 1 has more affect than the other.

[@birdiepitchfeather63]

I feel the quote “You have no confidence in this sword.”, fits Dark Souls so much better than this.

[@DeadDoll2012]

You're right because you need to be confident in your own skill. Even your starting sword can carry you through your whole playthrough.

[@birdiepitchfeather63]

The Notorious Soup indeed.

[@tomasarguello5598]

So true!

[@SlayerRunefrost]

Naw, there are plenty of weapons that give me confidence in DS

[@xxxGreyFoxNinja11xxx]

How about the Golden Sword in Minecraft?

[@yorkymorky8656]

AVGN shouting angry German. My life is complete.

[@Burn_Angel]

Angry Video German Nerd.

[@alltimezocker]

DAS SPIEL IST SCHEISSE! DIESES SPIEL FICKT DICH HÄRTER ALS DAS LEBEN!

[@leonrider313]

Michael Schuchlenz THIS GAME IS SHIT! THIS GAMES FUCKS YOU HARDER THAN LIFE ITSELF!

[@TCIR]

Remember Angry German kid? This is him now.

[@OmegaChase1002]

"its easier to lift an elephant, with my ass, while singing o mcdonald" can we just stop and picture that for a brief moment?

[@shuglug]

My cat started barking after reading this out loud

[@OmegaChase1002]

deal wid it

[@shuglug]

Jack Barr-Baxter It's the second time for me, not complaining

[@OmegaChase1002]

McPixman hi.

[@powerLien]

McPixman My lawn meowed.

[@floatingf8783]

6:34 Whoever wrote this deserves an Oscar for best writer.

[@gregorotingletoz7879]

😂😂😂😂

[@Kaoskuma]

'the last time i saw towers this deadly was when they decided that the horses needed more fiber in their diet" holy shit this one won the day

[@hairyson94]

Your fucking profile picture, god damn it

[@Kaoskuma]

Harry Weir i know right? i use it just to piss off people

[@analiennamedabuba8429]

Oh my god. This Man.

[@Kaoskuma]

AnAlienNamedAbuba yes, it's me >:)

[@jsca1082]

fernando cubis what the fuck is the point?

[@GenY42]

Some of these contributions were trying too hard, but I laughed heartily at "I'd rather suck the dried shit out of Chewbacca's ass fur"

[@MrShimazu]

Wow, that's intense. I read your line at exactly the same time that he said it in the video.

[@jediking12]

Same I couldn't stop laughing so bard 😂😂

[@lolzhhahaha]

When I read your comment he said it lol

[@levicassidy9312]

hard*

[@krisb4872]

The Tech "This game is liquid ass butter" 😂😂😂

[@KrashMan22Gaming]

"It's easier to lift an elephant with my ass while singing old McDonald" that line killed me lmaoo

[@DELIVEREE]

Then over a decade later, he reviewed a Friday the 13th game that literally has Old MacDonald.

[@OneTrueBelmont]

"This game is so bad, Satan wouldn't accept it even if you offered it along with your soul!" That's...pretty bad if you think about it. Of course, this was before Ride to Hell...

[@nicholsjoshua15]

Ride To Hell was before both Metal Gear Survive and FallOut 76.

[@DirtyGeorge]

@@nicholsjoshua15 metal gear survive is good

[@kirinbobarcana]

I still believe ride to hell is worst. At least deadly towers was finished

[@BrendanJSmith]

@@DirtyGeorge no it isn't.

[@newkidatWCU]

Whoever made the line about Chewbacca's ass fur, well done.

[@ing_frantisek_mohykan]

jaja its star wars reference so its hilarious

[@TeoReviews]

Seriously, it's so brilliant.

[@ryanrandall788]

yea, you can CLEARLY tell this was written by fans, especially of how choppy the lines are. but still funny

[@matti.8465]

It sounds acurrate for me

[@0M9H4X_Neckbeard]

Some of them were pretty good like the Chewbacca one

[@kamenridernephilim]

We need the fans to write for lines more often for AVGN episodes.

[@millertime97jm]

My favorite is the one where he speaks German. LMAO

[@lif3sdestination967]

not really it does contain a lot of coordinate subjunctions and subordinate subjunctions.

[@DanielTheFreak]

"Oh great I'm being attacked by BALLS!!!" Haha, classic :D

[@Cueros5]

"BLUE BALLS NO LESS!!!"

[@bloodyhell6378]

It's so bad, it made the nerd swear in German XD

[@PikaLink91]

Oh god, then you know it's bad xD

[@spartan7911]

The German fans wanted him to swear in German

[@grimTales1]

"Bubbly sound of rippling ass" That sounds JUST like something James would say xD

[@nexusshark]

This game is un-fuckable. LOL

[@uncharted3958]

Don't know how to "Un-Fuck" something.

[@smuglutena3254]

This game is an orgy of ASS!

[@uncharted3958]

This game is like a machine gun ASS!

[@haveyboythebighuggerkid7733]

Phobos Orion pooping out TURD TURD TURD TURD TURD TURD TURD TURD TURD TURD.

[@shitpostermcmylittlepony4c265]

unfuckworthy

[@scottmccurdy6493]

He should do another episode like this. Of course the fan comments/insults aren't as creative as those of James himself, but I still think it's a fun idea worth revisiting all these years later.

[@tangroro]

4:11 well, I tried that once, and I some how enter a train station

[@BUFFALO_cougar_slayer]

Platform 9 and 3 quarters? Think you're being funny, do you? Platform 9 and 3 quarters…

[@Burn_Angel]

Deadly Towers is actually a good name for a board game. Someone call Board James!

[@AntiChrxzt]

Make it Deadly Danger Towers. The sequel game to Deadly Danger Dungeon

[@SeeroBoarder]

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard when he just randomly started yelling german curse words, classic video :)

[@MarvinJohanning]

***** literally translated it would mean: The game is shit. The game fucks you harder than real life

[@Lheticus]

FOUR YEARS LATER The swords...shoot out of his crotch...and are used to kill...balls. HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS BEFORE O_o

[@Waytotheland]

7:32, my favorite quote🤣

[@RiseTheDrake]

This game is not avarage shit. This is advanced shit

[@tanner5928]

i think we found a new name for cod

[@colinjones8828]

2:04 my favorite quote

[@MrPurple656]

3:59even in an episode reviewed by fans we get a Simon's quest reference

[@Emoboiification]

When he said "thr last time I sw towers this deadly" made me think of 911.

[@brandon1469]

That profile pic tho

[@SamnissArandeen]

"When they called this game 'Deadly Towers', they weren't kidding. Last time I saw towers this deadly, they had planes run into them!"

[@anthomations]

"This game is SO bad, the planes commit suicide!"

[@huybii3021]

I don't think many of the fans were able to capture the nerd's more calm part in his video

[@juanpablopappaterra8911]

7:27 ''I would rather suck the dry shit out of chewbacca's ass fur'' Fucking priceless.

[@NowaNowaru]

"You have no confidence in this sword." Everytime I watch this I laugh at that comment.

[@sanjaysatoj4435]

same!

[@joseantoniogaticabahamonde8417]

3:22 literally fucking blue balls

[@Niko_Malthus]

6:28 ....whew.... that was close 🤣🤣

[@memyselfandi1939]

Two!

[@Zenssei]

Did anyone else also searched for what does ludder means?Lmao james was right

[@PeterAuto1]

it's the German word for slut

[@KingWaffles1945]

It's the Norwegian word for slut

[@IncredibleMan12308]

It said something about women, yep.

[@0Hitmanofnorway0]

Jævla ludder

[@codyc1812]

6:50, did he just speak german?

[@LiamTolentino]

Yup

[@jackback70]

Ja!

[@eljefemccarron2567]

Das ist richtig!

[@robofish312]

Chicken lickin finger fuckin son of a bitch LOL classic.

[@EarthboundinAdrock]

You really are my biggest role model, James. Thank you for everything.

[@goldwaterproductions]

The writing from these fans is great 😂 James really pulls this stuff off so well. One of his best Nerd episodes

[@hectorpanzer]

James = Germanpro! xD

[@bageoop]

7777th comment, nice

[@thatguythatfixes8675]

+Unown k

[@mistab3333]

Nah, actually it's pretty butchered sounding to my ears.

[@bodenlosedosenhose1590]

His pronunciation of the German language was quite accurate.

[@Trockenshampooleopard]

+Bodenlose Dosenhose I love your nickname.

[@eirhjien]

hah, last time I saw towers this deadly.... never mind ;)

[@Nbdestryer]

This is a prototype of Dark Souls

[@froderickalabaster]

y33t

[@farribastarfyre]

Thing is, Dark Souls is actually fair, despite its difficulty, and it's well-made. Neither of those things can be said of this trash heap.

[@jdolaktv]

Fuck both games...wait, don't fuck both games. Don't let your friends fuck them. They're unfuckworthy.

[@ConorDaRobin]

@N00bdestr0yer11111 No, fuck you.

[@hazukichanx408]

That stuff about men and devils living in the same age, etcetera, "now go burn seven holy bells", did sound kind of Soulsy to me. That whole deal where you're dropped in a fairly boned era of some vast and uncaring world, and given a dubiously effective task that might, maybe, save the world a little bit, for a while.

[@patcahill3724]

That has to be my favorite avgn episode

[@American_Simian]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA i nearly shit myself with the ludder part

[@American_Simian]

i guess dealers like cheap ass hoe more than gold or money

[@TadasG258]

judah baez XD

[@weareoutbreak89]

avgn try to speak german.... BADASS :)

[@gabe_gamer9320]

If only someone could translate what he said.

[@Chaos89P]

You mean that one line? He said _"Das Spiel ist Scheiße! Dieses Spiel fickt dich härter als das Leben!"_ It literally means "The game is shit! This game fucks you harder than life!" My grasp on German is has currently downgraded to "crap," or _"Mist,"_ if you prefer, but simple phrases like that stick with you.

[@MarkiplierMeatMuncher8]

4:11 AVGN predicts the backrooms

[@theluckiesteh9058]

Still one of my favorite episodes to Date! The German Words actually translate to "This Game Is SHIT! This game fucks you harder then real life!"

[@huba3885]

The german was good...i immediatley understood that ^^

[@JoxxArt]

What does it mean?

[@huba3885]

Joxon He said "Das Spiel ist Scheiße!!! Dieses Spiel fickt dich härter als das Leben!!!" It means "The game is shit!!! This game fucks you harder than life itsself!!!

[@nickclark1815]

huba Ach men Leben! Does that mean anything? I heard it in a game. (I also could'v spelled something wrong, which you would have to excuse me for, as I don't know any German)

[@sertu1462]

Nick Clark well, if you would say "ach mein Leben" it would mean "oh my life!", wich wouldn't make much sence.

[@nickclark1815]

sertu Ah, I heard it from somewhere(not sure where) but thanks anyway!

[@grubbadubb2988]

Probably my favorite AVGN episode.

[@tubeofpoo2421]

7:12 - the cycle of life

[@Takaichi666-]

Last time I saw towers this deadly was when they decided the horses needed more fiber in there diets

[@mightyshrigga_3826]

Everybody Gangsta untill the nerd starts swearing in German

[@ShanghaiMilktea_Atrihan]

"Das spiel ist scheiße!" Best line ever

[@NineEight_Nine]

12 years later and the raging mental breakdown that starts at 6:21 still sends me through the roof

[@cdsmetalhead99]

This game is equal to that of liquid assbutter!

[@returnMarcco]

Who's still watching in 2021?

[@J.Griffin4]

Currently fighting Covid at home, so AVGN has been a godsend!

[@myluckythumb5987]

Get well soon

[@felixweinlinger]

6:56 Americans speaking german is always so funny

[@parkercowan8648]

6:51 well the sir name Rolfe is German so this makes sense for once

[@chuckthequail137]

6:52 AVGN Became Heinz Puhenheimer for an Instance

[@karkitty202]

He could've made such a good 9/11 joke

[@fredrichfernando6798]

+NintyFan290 Nice Leafy meme.

[@ZionSairin]

Karkitty202 I don't doubt a fan tried to submit one but he didn't want to use it because that's a bit fucked up for the time.

[@JustMe-vo5er]

3:10 ,,Being attacked by balls" That was she said! :)

[@ThoughtfulSheep]

"Dieses Spiel ist Scheiße! Dieses Spiel Fichkt Dich Härter Als Das Leben!!!" -James

[@AnastasiaCooper]

I wasn't even really watching the video, only listening to his voice when he suddenly started speaking German. Good job for an American. And yeah, the game is shit and fucks you harder than your life does.

[@smokingcopper4411]

when you start speaking German you know its bad..

[@smokingcopper4411]

6:34

[@smokingcopper4411]

6:34

[@mikeymikesh]

Nerd, are you sure that ALL of the commentary in this was written by the fans? Because a lot of it seems suspiciously in-character.

[@Takaichi666-]

He does a behind the scenes and he states if I remember correctly that he writes most of the lines

[@flair541]

I wanna know all the AVGN remixes at the beginning.

[@Edscratch23469]

Same.

[@brandonjohnson3036]

***** same, lets all start a "same" chain

[@VreyIsGrey]

Brandon Johnson same

[@Theealterego]

Same

[@analiennamedabuba8429]

None of them mix well at all. I think it's because of the audio fade out.

[@maddslothii2532]

I ended up with this game because Kiddie City was out of Castlevania or something. I got it because looked okay...

[@danieljones361]

James should do this again next time there's a channel or show milestone! I suggest doing it with "Ride to Hell" or "Mindjack"!

[@DanielJones-bb2er]

It's You!! My evil twin!

[@SKMP]

+Daniel Jones (gasp) it's your evil twin

[@xplinux22]

Definitely! The narration was surprisingly good and organic for a crowd sourced episode. Shows how creative and dedicated this community is, haha.

[@jackdague1792]

+Daniel Jones how do you know your not HIS evil twin?

[@wolfmaster7746]

Sonic 06

[@TheWolvesCurse]

i like how he's speaking german xD

[@patientnr.0409]

+TheWolvesCurse he wasn't speaking german. he was screaming german

[@waltrz]

+Patient Nr.0 Isn't that just speaking German?

[@patientnr.0409]

MacalTHB ...

[@waltrz]

+Patient Nr.0 Ya know, the old joke that Germans default tone is yelling angrily.

[@waltrz]

Geeze

[@richardhuff9313]

2:52 you have no confidence in crappy video games🤓🔪💾

[@Ashkimbo]

I still get a kick out of this video. 5:03 is one of my favourite lines the nerd has ever read.

[@isaacsmith2559]

6:53, well, I have to say your expression in german was quite good, in my opinion as an native german speaker. Of course there were some little flaws, but it was absolutely understandable by the first try. hehehe... cool... thanks for trying :D

[@Bartoc1988]

Oh I love americans who talk in german :P

[@nightbane2]

Well at least you can speak TWO languages well. I really hate those guys that are like "Sorry, I can't speak English very well"

[@snessub]

Was hat er als zweites gesagt? Das konnt ich echt nicht verstehen. "Dieses Spiel fickt dick hart. Lass das Leben"?

[@Tiaineo]

I heard it means something like, "The game is shit! This game fucks you harder than life!" Is that accurate?

[@Bartoc1988]

Yes it is :)

[@chaeatlas9078]

7:20 was funny as hell XD

[@MegaSpecialized]

The German Parts are the best :)

[@intergalactichumanempire9759]

Why is the like dislike ratio censored?

[@DMac4214]

Intergalactic Human Empire idk

[@patrickjones5215]

Good question

[@kylemiller7554]

It makes nails on a chalkboard sound like fuckin Mozart... LMAOOOO

[@m.tammekivi]

LMAOOOO= Laughing my ass off, off, off, off?

[@MisterX867]

Dark Souls : NES edition?

[@GiordanDiodato]

except Dark Souls is good.

[@DasManiac99]

What?!? Dark Souls is a great geme instead of this piece of s**t...

[@GiordanDiodato]

DasManiac99 to be fair, this was the first action RPG on the NES plus, the company that made it, Irem, would make other awesome games like In the Hunt for Saturn/PS1 and Metal Storm

[@farribastarfyre]

Giordan Diodato And although it's difficult, it's fair too, unlike this trash heap.

[@vsauce5614]

that's ghosts and goblins

[@countjobula]

"you have no confidence in this weapon" - This should have been included somehow in Goldeneye (N64) regarding the Klobb.

[@DerpyDooReviews]

poorly drawn? whoever made that email is either extremely snobby or is just a prick, while we don't see that art style nowadays back then it was pretty common, like heavy metal albums. It's not bad...just dated, like the NES itself.

[@takeshikujo2909]

I bet the Nerd was so proud of his fans for coming up with such insults. That tangent of irritation at the end cracks me the fuck up. 😆

[@ebreggie8783]

I think so, because he mentioned "the Assholiens" again in Alien 3.

[@theeverydayillusion7790]

I lost it when he started speaking german 😂

[@AzCowboyOne]

Wanted to take a minute to drop a tag, 14 years after the initial drop. As this videos is still fresh, creative, relevant, nostalgic, and most of all... fun.

[@pansnemesis]

Been years since I've seen alot of these older episodes. It's amazing how far he's come, good stuff. Thanks for the years of awesome content.

[@SuperWoodyandMarioBros]

6:51 AVGN: “Das Spiel ist ScheiBe! Dieses Spiel fickt dich härter als das Leben!” 😂

[@user-ko1qo7qw8r]

8:11 I just noticed you got Steven Hawking to sing your nerd song. You really must have some cool fans! Also RIP Hawking

[@Howlingburd19]

The “rewatchability” of these AVGN videos is astounding!

[@kirbynat493]

i lose it at the german every time. xD

[@fissilewhistle]

Wait a fucking second… Hell's Bells? As in Vegeta's theme song?

[@fissilewhistle]

God-Emperor of Mankind Yes, that's his Japanese theme song. He has 3 themes: Hell's Bells Saiyan Blood and his Super Saiyan theme.

[@MLIPTCCK]

as in the song from ACDC

[@MrMaxendiesel]

Hell bells one of vegeta badass theme song

[@DracoHandsome]

AC/DC's Hell's Bells loooooong predates piece of shit Dragon Ball Z, dude.

[@kylem1112]

the first thing you think of when you heard the term hell's bellsl is dragon ball z? wtf??

[@TimothoNuva]

He should do another fan-written episode like this!

[@thecinematicmind]

I agree with this.

[@cecilwhinter]

The ''Satan wouldn't accept this game even if you gave it with your soul!!'' made me lose it xD

[@javierxrtd]

"A never ending turd that goes into your mouth" Now that's quality comedy

[@AlexOnexel]

i wish james would do an episode like this again. even if my submission is not in it i would still love it.

[@MeyerBen27]

I do a magic trick where I shoot broad swords out of my urethra. It took a lot of practice, but the swords DO come out painfully slow.