Dealing with People who Trigger You!!

[@chilloften]

It’s hardest at work, when I’m stressed, tired, overwhelmed, etc. and that’s every shift.

[@Karackal]

Throughout High School, the other students made a sport out of trying to trigger me. The school's psychologist (who only talked to me, not them, of course) told me to grow a thicker skin. So I did. So the bullies became meaner and meaner. And once they finally got me (every time of course) and I flipped, the teachers punished me. The bullies never got so much as a slap on the wrist for their behaviour.

[@patcunningham8344]

I remember being targeted in HS. There are the same types in work life. It’s like they have a radar for who to pick on / attack.

[@richardcranium6081]

maybe they used the bullies and their antics to try and mold you into something that THEY wanted you to be, contrary to what YOU want to and deserve to be (for their own ambitions and narratives which I won't get into that). But I understand, I know how reluctant the faculty members were at schools to intervene especially in instances where I was being bullied. Believe me, there was a method to their madness and it was for nefarious reasons. Yeah, bullies never got punished, but if I defended myself, I sure did. I understand and you are not alone.

[@Yoshimitsu882]

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It's really relatable because this exact thing happened to me but instead of highschool it was super early childhood with my brother. My parents didn't care nearly enough about all his teasing that has had a huge lasting effect on me but me blowing up as a 5 year old for some reason was 10x worse even though nothing I did could affect him long term

[@angelawhite2022]

I think this is the best video yet! I’ve been practising this daily with coworkers who constantly press those emotional buttons. And each time I don’t react I feel empowered, stronger. You just have to ride the wave of emotion and let it ebb and fall. You can always bring it up later when the iron is cool. Thank you so much Dr Fox!

[@Jewels_8404]

Perfect timing for a video like this!! I have family therapy at age 41 with my toxic mother today.

[@DrDanielFox]

Use the strategies and sheep your own pace. Don’t let others provoke you. It’s hard sometimes for sure.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Sometimes you have to choose to do what is best for you. Some people will refuse to change, and at times, you just have to choose to pull away from them altogether.

[@ABB14-11]

Proud of yoy

[@ek9348]

The best respons is no respons and the whole dynamic shifts. My sister wants to control everything and everybody. She really could set me off. Two years ago enough was enough, because she couldn’t ‘win’ from me and dragged her husband, our brother and his wife into her drama all against me. Still have Some knives hanging in my back. I put Some firm boundaries than. Of course at first for some Months one big pity party, playing the Victim, to get respons of me. Zero respons. Never answered Any question. Result? Now It scares the s**t out of them because they dont know what to do with me. Never had this much inner peace in my Life. 🙏🏻

[@opticalman6417]

just saying noting is a response but its the best way when dealing with toxic narcs

[@opticalman6417]

this has been my reaity in the past with my family toxic narc mother sister like mother father toxic disengaging is the only way to deal toxic people this is about them not you they see you through a disorted percepual lens so they paint you out to people the kind of person your not had this happen to me outside of the family thoughts get passed off as facts in there mind of the toxic person and you get wronging judge in the process and they get critical and say you have traits that are not there complete attack on your sense of self and what is and isnt real

[@opticalman6417]

we are seeing attacks like this in are criminal justice system by the police probation officers and the best way the offender can deal with these scum working in the sysem is like what you said the best respons is no respons and the whole dynamic shifts

[@terajade4L]

I look forward to the next one

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks 😊

[@fairygurl9269]

"Emotional Circuit Breakers" Resource Dr Jerry Wise Much Interconnected Respect 💞

[@lhu08]

Sometimes I have automatic hated for someone like favourite person. They don't necessarily might have done something but I just can't stand them, trigger me, all bad thoughts. I hate them so much for no reason

[@jeremiah8882]

Thank you Dr.. I need more help coping with my toxic co-workers. I am ready to throw in the towel.

[@DrDanielFox]

Never give up.

[@jeremiah8882]

Thank you and I was referring to resignation of my current job position.

[@LurkingLinnet]

Just as i clicked on this video, my mother made a toxic comment trying to guilt trip me, provoke my sister, cursing me etc. I felt this strong urge of slapping her I didn't! Now i feel stable and more in control as i listened to Doctor Fox. I can keep my impulses in control, i dont have to fall down to her level to change her it will only drown both of us down.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yeah. We can't change people. Only God can do that if they allow Him to do so. I pray that you are okay in Jesus' name. I pray your strength in the Lord. AMEN.

[@LurkingLinnet]

@@ladennayoung2939 thankyou. That's so beautifully put. Early morning that I'm reading this and wonderful blessings! Lots of love💗🌟 God Bless You! 🌸

[@dianemason9092]

Ive recently realised that most of my family are highly functioning narcissits, including myself. That has hit home hard. After doing a heap of self reflection I now see all the behaviours and it's so bad. We have lived all our lives like this and it's terrible. But my sisters, brothers and parents cannot see it and laugh at me when I call them out. So I've cut a few off and limited contact with others..that leaves me with my dogs and horses and a few good friends, and a hell of alot of healing to do. 😂😂😂

[@Ko_Ki1984]

How perfect is the timing of this video! Just last week a colleague at work really triggered me badly purely out of spite and I really took a step back from her and simply not gave her the time and although I was still thinking about it at home , I then loudly said to myself "She doesn't control you". I loaded the rest of the pressure off by talking to other (very kind and relaxed) colleagues and just let it go. I'm so glad my skill-set is slowly but surely improving🤗

[@DrDanielFox]

Great job

[@Justine-p2b]

I never feel a sense of safety internally or environmentally . I live in fight or flight but, I freeze and completely shut down

[@larrainewong]

Videos like these always help who is really watching and understands

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@larrainewong]

@@DrDanielFox ah it doesn’t help me right away I take forever to understand anything

[@mohibquadri4053]

Insightful 💎

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you 😊

[@opticalman6417]

if your triggering people good your doing what your meant to be doing being the reflective miror being the activor your triggers have noting to do with anyone other than you when you get triggered by what someone says or does you should be thanking them becuase this is a sign there is inner work that needs doing within you when you feel a certain way its not other peoples fault this is a opportunity for personal growth to heal emotional wounds that have gone unchecked

[@jhh2001]

Hey everybody its me!

[@karolinanie5946]

It's me, hi I'm the problem, it's me At teatime, everybody agrees I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero💃

[@opticalman6417]

everyone is your reflective mirror mirroring back to you what you need to work on within your self every time you get triggered thank them they can aid you in your own personel growth to healing core wounds

[@VeronicaNicole4778]

I’ve been trying to create boundaries with family and I think this will help a lot

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m so glad it’s helpful.

[@WhitePelicansareReal]

I wish I could have understood this before both my parents passed away. My estranged sibling was so hung up on expectations or no expectations of me. I allowed her to push me right over the edge like so many before. Now, I have only the attainable expectations for myself however, others don’t even see I’ve changed. Great Video Dr. Fox! 😊

[@DrDanielFox]

It’s hard to come to terms with our past. I’m glad you found the video helpful

[@rodrigo100kk]

Dealing with People who Trigger You: *1) Empowering yourself:* don't give in to people who trigger you. They have particular expectations. They expect you to do A and you do B. Some people are just bitter and short sided, so don't take much of it personally. *2) We have to maintain our own sense of control* *3) Insight is a POWERFUL tool:* identify people in your life who trigger you and how it happens. Assessing that can help you to make changes.

[@matthewmussett-r1i]

Just try transmute the energy feel yourself with hobbys and positive thoughts and practice meditation 🧘‍♀️ Avoid the triggers they will get you in trouble

[@TamagoEgg]

I get triggered and i didnt know what to do. Its natural to have defense mechanism, evening the most extreme ones for those that deliberately pushing on your buttons. After listening to this video, I realized how toxic the dynamic was and I shouldnt doubt myself anymore. Their behaviour is not acceptable and it is extremely toxic. Helping me to control my urges wanting to get back at them is the most powerful abd respectful thing I can do for myself and my peace. If you are maliciously hurt, its better to stay away than to try explain yourself. However, we do not generalize that all actions have malicious intent even if they were similar. Better to ask and see where they are coming from before we take action.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's great to hear that you found the video helpful! Recognizing toxic dynamics is the first step towards a healthier mindset. Remember, your peace is a priority!

[@AM08888]

❤😊

[@DrDanielFox]

Glad you liked the video.

[@markuscameron6958]

I love my brother, but he is very triggering! He is very mentally and emotionally abusive, and I just can't find the strength to stand up to him. I don't have a problem standing up to people outside the family, but I have a really hard time standing up to family 😢

[@DrDanielFox]

It’s hard when it family. I wish you well.

[@vyshna2906]

Thank you sir was really helpful. As I have a family member whose just like that. Sometimes I get into their dramas. This time I got the trick

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@susanpinkston3355]

Thanks!

[@DrDanielFox]

You're so welcome and thank you for your kind support of the channel. It means a lot when people help support the cause of putting out honest and research based information. Thank you and be well.

[@susanpinkston3355]

You are changing my outlook, giving me insight into my attitude and behaviors. I am a changed woman with hope and a new life ❤

[@BBFCCO733]

I was feeling really exhausted and in pain today. Not particularly in a bad mood. I had 2-3 positive interactions during the day. My last stop was at a store, where I swear I was minding my own business, I walked by 2 women, I glanced at them because they were looking at me and then moved on to look for a journal. I felt all of a sudden uncomfortable-like my fight or flight was activated and I knew it was coming from these women. I was so uncomfortable I left the isle, looked back at the end of the isle to see one of the women GLARING at me.....I looked right back at her...I then moved on to the next Isle and overheard her say to the other woman "Mothers don't fight". She had said that loud enough for me to hear then proceeded to become obnoxiously annoying. I was shocked at how this woman who I don't know, created this story about me out of thin air. I walked back to the isle eventually and picked our my notebook, and once she had moved on, the energy of the other women had shifted and I felt safe again. I don't know why she targeted me and why I enraged her so much, but from that single interaction, she ruined my afternoon. She triggered me so bad- her thoughts and energy made me feel so low....brought me to a point in my life where I was close to my worst. I worked out when I got home, I took some sun, tried to distract myself with sound but I still can't believe how awful this woman made me feel out of the blue. Honestly I am sick and tired of being a target and being treated this way. Btw, I am a mother, I have friends, I donate to my community and she assumed the worst of me and never once though to think that I am a human being and could possibly be worth something. Why are these people allowed to act in such a hurtful way and have it accepted by society, I will never understand........

[@dinagoshen613]

Can you please create a video on how to recognise an unhealthy relationship and whether it is time to leave the relationship as someone with BPD, e.g whether someone is being unsupportive or intentionally triggering you, or whether your reality is distorted because of BPD and that you should empower yourself to take steps to manage your BPD and manage the relationship.

[@DrDanielFox]

Understanding the dynamics of relationships, especially with BPD, is crucial. I have videos on this topic!

[@ladennayoung2939]

Amen. This is true.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you.

[@kevonacres4629]

My sibling observe me regularly to find ways to trigger me through sabotage, when I react sometimes when I couldn't take it no more,he says I have a mental problem and he smiles while saying it making me want to get triggered more.

[@DrDanielFox]

It sounds like a tough situation with your sibling. Remember, it's important to prioritize your mental well-being and find healthy ways to cope with those triggers. You've got this!

[@31minutesago]

My trigger is attached to a Mossberg pump action.

[@DrDanielFox]

Please be careful.

[@jld4870]

After so long of not feeling safe isn’t there an element of ‘finding’ triggers as that is what we are familiar with. How many of us eliminate others and have limited to no relationships? Thank you Dr. Fox for hangin in there, ur optimism is beautiful!! 🩷

[@alphadog3384]

Push pull, relationship with triggers, their always seems to be a lack of insight from the individual who starts the interaction her/she doesnt see the consequences of the conversation the sensitivity of the interaction that it causes to others. She/her response to the outcome is I am listening. Then she wonders why the cycle of push pull repeats and repeat? How can l break the cycle? I need suggestions.

[@Nadine-mc8dx]

Can we trigger ourselves?

[@DrDanielFox]

yes

[@richardcranium6081]

I find it interesting, and even somewhat disappointing that when you listed off the types of people who commit these insensitive infractions you did not mention spouses. No disrespect intended towards you, it's just that that I have one of those spouses who I would think after 24 years of marriage would have the sense to KNOW what triggers me when she behaves in such an uncourteous way. You also mentioned at about 2:52 in the video, they do not always go into these things saying "I'm gonna trigger him or her." Based on my own assessment of their behavioral patterns and intellectual disposition over the last 2 decades I think it is more than safe to assume they DO intend to anger me cuz they never seem to learn. At some point, manners and common courtesy went out of style (they aint trendy no more). Hey, this is the me me me generation, the selfie era if you will. I don't think even spouses are immune to this common selfish streak that has plagued the world so much over the last few decades.

[@Happy-Me.]

Sadly it's your Favourite Person that will eventually trigger a Borderline the most and when this starts to happen the relationship is over!

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your perspective on this. It's always helpful to hear different experiences and learn from them. Relationships can be challenging, but they also provide us with valuable lessons.

[@DrDanielFox]

Explosive reaction comment response 

[@jld4870]

But don’t we just move on to another FP who too will eventually trigger us…another one down, on to the next it is exhausting!

[@Happy-Me.]

@@jld4870 More than likely but it's the intensity of that favourite person especially if you are intimate with them because they will imprint themselves on you making it very difficult to move on. The trauma of relationship to relationship which triggers abandonment is excruciating. That's why as a pwBPD ages they may decide to not be in a relationship and end up alone!

[@MS-ns4ki]

The last thing I want to hear is about your family vacations. Noted.