Dear Anxious Preoccupied: Strategies for Healing From a Past Relationship

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In this video I'll discuss strategies for the anxious preoccupied to heal from past relationships and traumas.
I post every other day, and you'll find some completely new content there :)
Thank you for watching!

[@jo_6315]

That's so true. I grow up in a household where hugs and "I love yous" are not expressed. I crave that physical touch so badly yet I shrink back or freezes each time someone touches me. When my ex and I would hang out, he would pull me close for a hug. I miss that the most. Just to be hugged and told that I matter

[@imkivamarie]

That's what I miss the most, too. Being held. Hugged.

[@sidrakhan202]

I thought I was the only one

[@alexandersommerbauer]

same I deeply crave physical love but when people try to hug me I dash backwards

[@Chaz_NFQ]

Biggest thing for me is the meaning I’m giving the break up: I’m not enough, I wasn’t enough for her. Struggling to let this notion go

[@lunab.7858]

i love this woman so much 😭 i am so grateful that i came across your channel. that self-abandonment part is so real. i tried so hard to fix other people's issues and be there for other people and i was really just abandoning the most important person in my life (me), over and over and over and even in the relationship itself. i have so much inner peace and gratitude now. and even though at a conscious level i do believe that there was just so much miscommunication and unawareness in the relationship, i know i will be absolutely fine without this person if they decide they don't want me back in their life. and that's what's GOLDEN for me. i have NEVER been able to say that. and obviously not because you don't care about the person or anything but because the realization that you have needs that need to be met by YOU, is just so enlightening. you have brought so much relief into my life with your knowledge and i cannot wait until i am able to enroll in your courses 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰 you're truly the definition of a role model.

[@Ara328]

Madai B. Same! I haven’t reached where you’re at and I feel lonely and ruminate on this guy I didn’t even really date almost constantly. But right after things went sour, I started googling why I reacted so strongly to breakups and that severe anxiety we experience in our chest and neck and stuff. And when I found out it was anxious attachment, I came to KZbin and found this channel 😭😭 and I just finally understood myself and I can calm myself down and I can remind my inner child that I am always here for me and that I am able to meet all of my own needs. And I can sometimes stop my ruminating thoughts etc and all of this has propelled me into a spiritual journey of learning to love myself for more reasons than to just stop feeling this way 😭 it’s just soo much better. But I can’t wait to reach your level! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏽

[@zarielandaluz458]

@@Ara328 I feel you girl and I'm just beginning my own journey. I believe you and all of the other APAs in this comment section. We will survive and we will come out closer to break our anxious attachment and the causes that brought us here in the first place. Best vibes

[@zarielandaluz458]

Ditto

[@oeu3669]

R S omg I’m on this journey now!!! You’re the first person I’ve seen express the physical pains alongside the anxiety after the break up! I even used to SHAKE!!! I honestly thought omg... this relationship also wasn’t even that long but had such a profound effect on me.. it triggered that inner child journey and self love journey. I’ve just started. I’m listening to this and reading a book called attached. I hope you’re in a great place now. It’s been 9 months since you posted. But your post really affirmed me ❤️❤️

[@evikofler8883]

It's so beautiful to read your text amd to see that you where able to heal!💗 you sayed in your text we have to meet our own needs. How do you meet the need of phisycal affection on your own, do you have any tips for that? Thank you very much!🌷🌷

[@SteezyDollIsabel]

I hate how I fantasize too much on the past but thank you so much💕

[@rawans744]

You have really helped me figure out how to handle myself during this pre- breakup situation i am in. my bf is dismissive avoidant, and this relationship is really draining me and we have been going around in the same circle for a year. I still have alot to overcome but this is a great first step.

[@Missgevious]

How did you go after watching this video with your relationship. I just broke up with my DA and this video is helping so much already

[@nureyamiller7914]

I’m right there with you but have already broken up. It’s been a week and have been working with a therapist, my stress, anxiety and depression have all already improved. My partner was DA, get off the rollercoaster before it’s even harder to leave. Do it for both of you, it’s the best thing you can do, be brave and know you are capable of becoming healthy. Wishing you the best 💛

[@swiftyaan7748]

Nothing hurts more than going throught all this pain and burden and then finding out that your ex is out there, getting it on with someone else.

[@elrisitas1927]

The bitterness and self pity ... I feel you 💔 We will survive

[@rebeccajones1014]

I have been dumped by a DA, cut off comms and it’s been brutal. I’ve spent a week grieving but unlike in my past, I’m choosing to heal. It’s so hard, I don’t want to give up hope for him and I won’t for some time, but I also need to grow. If we work we will be better because of this.

[@marcd2743]

I got the same from a female DA. Any updates? I'm a month in and trying to keep my shite together. IT aint easy sister.

[@sithandweyinkosimpofu2890]

@@marcd2743 Any progress I'm on week 2 o

[@marcd2743]

@@sithandweyinkosimpofu2890 It's been a long slog but moving on at close to month three. Was really tough to be honest. Well week 2 was where I started turning dark. How you doing?

[@sithandweyinkosimpofu2890]

@@marcd2743 I am on week 2 and it's so dark it's interfering with my motivation

[@marcd2743]

@@sithandweyinkosimpofu2890 Yeah man, all you can do is exercise, spend time with family and friends, work and travel if you can. Pick up a new fun hobby or skill. Realize that you created her and imagined her. She was only a figment of your imagination.

[@darraghcollins4961]

You just made me realise I don't miss her anywhere near as I thought I did. Like 80% of it is missing things she did with me and not her in herself

[@TatiTalks]

If something didn’t work out, it’s not just your job to fix it.

[@dunpop8323]

TatiTalks it has and still is the same for me, but we keep going ✨

[@zarielandaluz458]

Makes sense, how do we apply this "saviour" strategy towards ourselves when we are emotionally out of balance? I guess that's part of the strategy development she's talking about. Let's keep working on it.

[@lyricaldestruction603]

for me its just going worse as time goes on...

[@indigodp7]

It's just not easy. I find that he became a Dad and all these negative thoughts showed. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I just know I need to keep going.

[@andreatorluemke4982]

Brain will ruminate when it’s trying to solve a problem or meet a need. Gold!❤❤❤

[@Annamelese]

This is an eye opener! I have abandoned my self for a long time looking for someone to rescue me! I just feel so maney emotions coming up when am alone!

[@TheFishinDad]

I didn't realize the self abandonment continued like this after the breakup. Thank you for this video

[@tammyalexander2617]

Thais, a while ago I did reprogramming work you shared in one of your videos. I noticed that my recent breakup was quite painful the first few days but I handled it so much better than I had handled previous breakups. Thank you so much. You're such a blessings to everyone watching your videos! Bless you ❤️♥️

[@tucky3191]

Gold gold gold gold GOLD. SAVING MY ACTUAL LIFE. No big deal. 🙌🏻

[@rosemargriffith]

Great video, thank you. Something that has helped me with my breakup rumination in recent days is to tell myself that I can have a rest from thinking about this. Being kind to myself and telling myself that it's ok to stop thinking and to have a breather.

[@adamwood87]

Spot on, as for usual. However the notion that i'm not missing my FA's body is false. The physical aspect is what cannot be recreated merely by myself.

[@grettirasmundarson9980]

I hear you, 💯

[@garymcnie801]

This is like a years worth of therapy in one video. Thank you Thais x

[@jaguarke069]

I value my therapist; but I really feel like this video right here has lifted me off very self-toxic behaviour and I'm just thankful to have found this now and not having to wade through the regular motions of post-breakup and not solving anything fundamental. A blessing. Never taken so much notes and rewound the video.

[@LauraGonzalez-vv2ct]

I agree! In 1 video she has managed to help me overcome a lifetime of painful endings.

[@eeedric]

Thank you so much for this. Just the right stuff I needed to hear. I have an anxious attachment and I’m on the stage of actually being able to let go of someone who is an avoidant. I see that there’s the light at the end of the tunnel and now I know what I have to do to empower myself with this move.

[@siarramae1220]

I broke up with a DA a few months ago and have been really struggling until recently. I have just read attached and everything makes sense now. Your videos help so much as an application of the knowledge in that book. I have a lot of work to do in terms of filling my own cups half way, but thank you for continuing to post!

[@laurax3955]

Do you have any book recommendations for the anxious attachment to help get through breakups? My ex and I have been broken up for a year and I know deep down that I can do better.. he wasn’t a bad guy just extremely avoidant and even if we stayed together I’d prob be miserable. The fact I know this stresses me out bc it still doesn’t stop me from ruminating at times .

[@angelicat270]

Laura X3 The Body Keeps the Score And the book Attachment by Levine

[@laurax3955]

Angelica T I’m going to check it out !! Thank you

[@happythoughts505]

@@laurax3955 im so with you Laura

[@happythoughts505]

Same ladies, self love & self worth to us all !! ❤🙏

[@kayaxe]

Hey Im in the same situation right now, may I know if youve been better?

[@TatiTalks]

I’m FA but I relate so much to this. Especially the auto-pilot, rumination and self-abandonment. My past relationship brought out a lot of the AA tendencies in me. It was long distance and my partner had many DA tendencies, so maybe I lived on the AA side for awhile. ❤️ Thanks for the video. The suffering bit. Aaah, hitting me right in the heart, Thais. The addiction/unhealthy self-soothing part - working on it. Still let myself live in the good memories (when I’m tired or at the end of the day) but now am able to look at it from a distance and understand - as it’s happening- they are memories meeting my needs at this time. Small beautiful bits of the bigger picture: a very unhealthy relationship which caused me unacceptable amounts of pain. Nooooo desire to jump into another relationship anytime soon. xD One good bit about being FA. Also, holding on to the logic backing to maintain my new boundary: there’s no evidence of change; therefore, no reconnecting. All I can do is continue to work on myself.

[@zarielandaluz458]

How do you manage to develop that emotional disconnection? Like how do you do it without going emotionally numb or feeling empty or like self betrayal? Best vibes

[@oeu3669]

Zariel Andaluz I hope you’ve found an answer. I do it personally by accepting. Acceptance is what I think AA types struggle with. I had a conversation with my ex who I’m convinced was Avoidant. He said I feel like you’re expecting too much from me. That hurt but it released me. I immediately said “I accept that”. Out loud to him. Does that mean I don’t miss him, don’t wanna be with him, don’t want everything he brought out in me and the connection we had, don’t want our relationship back, don’t have a soft spot for him still? Absolutely not. Does that mean his avoidance and absence didn’t cause me pain? Goodness me I was in physical pain. I would even shake it was that bad. However I have to accept what is. AA’s I feel hold on - tight. With our eyes closed! Haha. It’s all... or all.. hahah.. but seriously I think the peace comes with accepting. I still miss him and feel pain and when I find myself ruminating and wondering - I say to myself “I accept. I accept him. I accept how he feels and what he said. I accept his choice”. And I deep breathe. I’m still working on my AA Type. The dream is to become securely attached. All the best on your journey ❤️

[@oeu3669]

Hey it’s been a while I sure hope you’re in a much better place now!! I love seeing people’s posts from months ago and often wonder how they are doing ❤️

[@denisejaydub]

You’re amazing thank you so much for what you do. You’re a gift 💝

[@keralytekid]

I completely agree. She is such a gift and so grateful that she is on KZbin.

[@charlieconnorsmith9160]

Okay I was scared nervous in pain when I watched this and I hated how right you are by the end of it I did the notes on my phone and I honestly I am so happy I kept listening your such an intelligent articulate person and your doing amazing work never stop and lastly, thank you from all of us 🔷😘

[@lp.222]

The video started so bad I had to scroll Forward. Thank God the last third was helpful

[@nomorewolf]

You've helped me so much more than I ever thought would be possible from watching a KZbin video. Thank you, so much.

[@evewylie2292]

Wow. This one has been really helpful. You've been a good companion to me while I've lost what I thought was the woman I'd spend the rest of my days with and here I am still working things out and feeling more secure. Thank you Thais 🙏🏻

[@Irina-ks4bj]

Thais, this is a great video. Thank you so much. I am an anxiously-attached individual and recently broke up with my ex(now) bf and you've mentioned certain characteristics that him and I have pulled out in each other that weren't the most helpful. The biggest take-away for me from this video is taking time for me and not rushing into texting friends and family in an anxious type of way just to not be alone...being alone is actually what I need at this time. Thank you again!

[@14sufficiency]

You are providing an amazing public service, thank you! This is very valuable knowledge and I sincerely appreciate that you are willing to share the knowledge that you posses with others in this way.

[@janefaceinthewind6260]

This is very helpful. I do believe though that sometimes it is really this particular person. We may not want to be together with them, but sometimes it's just them because everyone is unique.

[@ghinii7151]

I love this Thais! “You’re hurting yourself so much PLEASE STOP” 😂❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@LauraGonzalez-vv2ct]

You are so awesome! I heard, for the first time today, Anxious Attachment. I’ve been praying for the answer to why I am so attached to him and unable to get past the breakup. But after listening to your videos, especially this one! I am able to understand and implement your suggestions. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[@ameesanramon2422]

I listen to your video every single day over and over again

[@jennifermoore4246]

Hi Thais, excellent video. Thank you so much!! I have a request; could you do a video explaining the difference between feeling your emotions (as positive activity) and ruminating (negative experience of emotion)? I'm trying really hard to notice, accept, validate, and feel my emotions, but I think I slip into ruminating and being carried away by them more often than not. Can you provide some tips or guidelines about this? Blessings!

[@tamaracretu9346]

Search DBT and The Skills, Mindfulness skills, how and what skills. You’re welcome:)

[@lisbeth4you]

Try body therapy. When ruminating in the head and/or experiencing overwhelming emotions, go to your body, translate that in terms of sensations, with no labeling, no meaning, no thoughts. Just how is this going on in my body? Where does it hurt, it’s in the chest , on the back, the throat, the legs, the arms, is it more to the right or left side, what do I feel lighter and harder, is it cold, hot, am I trembling, shivering. Notice that your body is supporting you, shift the attention to your legs and feet, open your toes and scratch them on the floor, sand, dirt, walking is also good, feel one foot after the other on the floor, notice how the energy wave goes up from your feet to the legs, etc. Notice that all your body is supportive. Your head can sit and relax on your neck, your neck can relax on your shoulders, then on the arms, arms on the hands and legs, feel your back supporting you against a chair, feel your bottom and thighs are also sitting and supporting, your legs, your knees (you may wish to massage them and feel the heat of your hands, how they are supportive, go down to your ankles, how they are supported by your feet and the feet are supported by the floor or the earth. Feel that your body is supportive of your existence, it’s collaborating all over and is your territory. Hope that helps getting off of your head.

[@sheenalynne]

This video made me cry. But definitely needed. I’m grateful for your help

[@Darkfyre755]

Last time I went through a breakup i couldn't keep any food down for days, I'd just throw up every time i even ate a bite of food. I'm terrified of that happening again but hopefully this video helps if i ever have to deal with another breakup...

[@marcd2743]

Ha, my anxiety got so bad I had dry mouth for three days and couldn't urinate. I thought I'd blown out me liver or something. .

[@imkivamarie]

It's incredible the physical effects our mentality causes.

[@misshellokittynerd]

Love all of the helpful content. Thanks so much for sharing ♥️

[@innerchildsleepoverparty]

You are doing such amazing work in the world. I think that after every video I watch. Thank you so much for doing what you do!

[@janefaceinthewind6260]

My DA person has not fulfilled my needs in years so I don't think I associate him with this. What I miss instead, and that may be the case for others, too, are those things that took the place of the things missing: shared interests instead of shared intimacy.

[@massielperez6458]

THANK YOU. After watching many many of your videos for the past week I'm a different person. I think I'll also be investing in membership for the school. This new knowledge has opened my eyes

[@brettduffy]

Thais, truly fantastic breakdown of the whole process and clearly defined action steps to take. As an actious attachment person, very grateful for all this amazing information!

[@austinnguyen9107]

2:10 4:48 What needs did this person meet into my life, what qualities did they bring out of me, what traits did they bring into your life

[@zarielandaluz458]

Thank you so much, it's a great place to start. Thanks for the tons of information. I will survive and come out healthier and self fulfilled out of this experience. Best vibes.

[@drphosferrous]

This video makes everything hurt less. In Gratitude.🙏

[@sxylala74]

Thank you for this explanation, the timing of finding this topic is impeccable! I really needed this today 🙂❤

[@jillosmrembo]

This was so kind and compassionate and wow do I feel so gently seen and guided. Like straight to the heart. Thank you so much for all this loving, and guiding us to love ourselves. I’m learning so much 🙏💖

[@magnetoxavier6504]

How do you know you are not retraumatizing yourself when you are “dealing with emotions”. Sometime distracting yourself feels good, how do I know its not validating your feelings? Does it make sense?

[@szhmoe]

Thais, would you make videos/podcasts about: 1. DA and APs - breaking up 2. DA and APs - "I love yous"

[@Beatscostmoney]

Thank you Thais. This helped me tremendously

[@taylorellis4336]

Watching this as many times as I can to get this programmed in my head !

[@nadiaventer3380]

I am struggling so much with my breakup, and I can't imagine how my ex can just go on and don't show any form of regret or anything, I am falling apart and she just goes on with her life, but she still confuses me with things she does, my mind just can't relax, I still think about her 24/7 and I just get paranoid and starr making up stories in my head, I have so much trust issues, and I still want to ask her 100 questions, but I know I am not actually allowed to.

[@marcd2743]

Been there bro. Just stay strong. You are most likely recreating a relationship with a parent. Figure out which one.

[@jessicalall8524]

This is saving my life

[@suset813]

This video is golden ...thank you soooo much

[@jaclynnjoseph7287]

How to deal with my need and desire for romance? My ex was so romantic, adoring me and giving me so much attention. How can I find that myself?

[@chuckr8727]

If relationships are simply stored associations AND we can learn to replace those associations without people then what is the point of a relationship?

[@basundharaaditya4984]

Thank you so much for doing this video. ❤

[@deniseodendaal5824]

Omg this is such great timing Thankyou So much

[@JWade-pe6td]

Thanks so much for your help! You are so well spoken.

[@tynaturkova361]

This video it´s like blessing from above. Thank You, thank You Thais. You are amazing.

[@torilyn7181]

What happens when the story you're telling yourself is that you'll be fine and that finding someone else will be easy (at least that you can have your pick of many). What if you are fairly confident about who you are and aware of your awesome qualities, but you still get stuck and soooooo burned that you begin wondering if you're even really aware of who you are? Because certainly men would want me if I truly am the things I see in myself, so I must be delusional and/or have a seriously skewed vision of who I am? Maybe I AM crazy like my ex said?

[@magnetoxavier6504]

Can you also talk about how healing is not linear? i feel helpless because i know i should be reaching out to myself rather than other people and I cannot help feeling the need to reach out. How do i reach out to myself in times when i feel a great urge to reach peopl?

[@Joy_Joy_Joy]

Valuable info for me right now. Thank you ❤️

[@a.brown_2518]

I love your channel. Thank you so much for everything you do

[@andrewwhite4372]

Question: "Boundaries" - I'd appreciate someone explaining what is meant by Boundaries in terms of relationships. It is a term that crops up quite a lot, and Thais often refers to it, but I'm no closer to knowing what it means ... and I can't help but think that may well be my 'problem' (?)

[@pujapanday8286]

Meaning to set your expectations.. eg. Hey i need love, care and etc.

[@andrewwhite4372]

@@pujapanday8286 Thank you. I have done much reading and work both inside and out of the school (PDS) in recent months. It makes much more sense to me now ... and yes, it definitely has been part of my 'problem' :)

[@hennuhpi]

This is so on point, Thais! 😭🙏💯

[@laurax3955]

And wow this video was so insightful... ! Thank you

[@happythoughts505]

Im still in this pain 2 years later, ruminating, lost & the movie keeps playing!!! How long till this stops?? Its killing me, yes i have professional help.

[@layloxx1]

Yess! Jane, I'm in the same situation. I fight daily the impulse to contact him. 🤎 I hope we can make it through this mess.

[@happythoughts505]

@@layloxx1 i hope that u r doing better Lello, sorry i just saw yr msg, i was getting better, then recently allowed myself to get into something i thought i was i control of, but very quickly i realised i wasnt & the emotional pain, thoughts & attatchment issues r right there again & of course he has distanced himself after sucking me in, clearly i have many wounds to be healed still "a life time" its so overwhelming, so here we go again.....i MUST COMMITT this time to learn self love, self worth etc etc......no men!!! Its about my worth & self control!!! I hope that u r feeling better with yr situation & r in a happy place today❤

[@layloxx1]

@@happythoughts505 Sorry to hear about what you've gone through again. Take comfort in the fact that you now know the way your internal compass is pushing you. You deserve better than this pain.

[@layloxx1]

@@happythoughts505 I ended a 4 month wonderful relationship because it turned long distance and I felt he wasn't carrying his end of the relationship. I was hoping he would fight for it but it didn't happen of course. Clearly you can see they cycle in even that. That ended last Christmas. I've been trying to stay away from them for now but the lows are hitting me bad. I'm hoping this coronavirus thing ends and I can go back to work and some normalcy. 💜 Thanks for your well wishes. I hope the same for you on this road.

[@astrale-l3n]

look up about limerence

[@drphosferrous]

This is all much needed. But...but... is it necessarily always self destructive to bravely persue what one wants? If we decouple our self worth from the results, and get good solutions to the self abandonment issues, what's wrong with trying again? Is that just addiction mentality excuses? Unclear.

[@theHC1013]

Great video. So helpful. Thank you!

[@marcd2743]

Thank you for everything Thais.

[@farhiamohamud6239]

10:40 and I am literally sitting at my office and watching this

[@RonnieBass33]

Is the feelings and needs list still on the website. I would love to access it, but I can’t find it on the site. Thanks for the content btw! It’s such a great series

[@ezengineering4363]

This is amazing thank you

[@NumiMedia]

Thank you for this work!

[@GG17250]

Yes! At 3:30!!!

[@december12twok12]

Thanks so much for this.

[@saraachir2051]

I miss the physical touch 🥺 but my ex is a dismissive avoidant

[@alirh1145]

thank you soooo much its so accurate

[@ShinFuYux]

Honestly, I'm afraid of giving myself that self love because I don't want to come out as a narcissist and self absorbed person.

[@Ara328]

ShinFuYux well I used to feel that way as well. So I researched the difference between self love and self absorbed/narcissistic and the difference is that self absorbed people think they are better than everyone else whereas self love is knowing that we are all the same in most ways and there are unique differences that we all have that make each of us special. We aren’t better than anyone else but we are special in our own ways, and you are worthy of your own love just as much as anyone else is. Self love is hard and I think I’ve only gotten about 50% into fully loving myself so far but I can’t wait for the 100%, just 50% so far has made my life so much better and fulfilling because I’m not trying to people please all the time

[@ShinFuYux]

@@Ara328 That sounds awfully complicated. I wouldn't even know where to begin with that one.

[@Ara328]

@@ShinFuYux Well the first step for me was just realizing I was being used by people and I was trying to please people all the time who didn't care about me at all. From there, I started listening to daily affirmations on youtube and eventually after about a month, I automatically started telling myself those affirmations whenever I was feeling "negative" emotions. For example, when this guy bailed on our date for the 2nd time, I would have previously felt the anxious anxiety we normally feel in my chest and ruminated on it. I still did feel the anxiety pain to a small degree, and I'm still thinking about him all the time weeks later, but in that moment, I was able to tell myself that his actions are not because of me. I am enough, I am worthy, I deserve better, etc. And those affirmations allowed me to disconnect from the feelings of abandonment we anxious attachment people get from these situations. All thanks to diving into figuring out how to love myself. I hope you try listening to affirmations everyday and repeating them out loud until they just become an automatic subconscious thing for you too!!

[@ShinFuYux]

@@Ara328 I think my problem with that is actually selling myself into that idea. Actually believing those things and carrying that positivity in me. In a way, I feel like it's too much work and I'm too lazy for it.

[@Ara328]

@@ShinFuYux well again, that's what affirmations are for. Say them and think them and then you eventually start believing them

[@reng935]

i need more 20 minute thais videos

[@tienhan8772]

What about intimate /physical needs?

[@deboraharies6983]

You made sense!

[@Mizah510]

Thank you. 😢

[@brandon3636]

Man, you understand me

[@janefaceinthewind6260]

This is wonderful but what if it is a particular kind of fun only that person could provide? What if we really miss this person? One year in, Thais, and I am at a loss.

[@liammorningstar4970]

U are the best Thais ....

[@medina3127]

That was wonderful

[@aviralchaudhry292]

Thanks a lot, Thais.

[@juanantoniomaestre3029]

I’m having a real hard time I would like it can’t stop thinking about her is anyone else feel like this

[@josephhodgetts3161]

Yep

[@lyricaldestruction603]

me...

[@bch5758]

And me.. I’m still dying inside 4 months on 😔

[@zebrastripes3786]

@@bch5758 4 months ? I just got dumped 2 days ago feeling the same and was hoping this feeling will pass sooner. So unbearable,I can’t take it.

[@bch5758]

@@zebrastripes3786 I wish you all the best.. it was very hard for me - I broke NC so many times, trying to repair. I was dumped by text message after 4 years.. I hope your recovery is much quicker - sorry to hear of your situation.😞

[@ThinkStoicPersona]

breaking that addiction is understandable but then when do we actually grieve about the ex partner.

[@sawomirdzieciuchowicz4152]

great content !

[@medhaagrawal7966]

Thank you !!!

[@bellwetherone5739]

What if the need you are lacking is physical touch

[@LizEsguerra]

I have the same question! Maybe go get a massage?

[@dani28325]

I’ve had this question for a long time, and can’t seem to find an answer anywhere so I kinda came up with my own conclusion. Yes physical touch is nice, but why do we want it so much? What feelings does it create? Safety, comfort, security, warmth, connection, etc. So my take on it is that we actually crave those feelings, and physical touch is just a way we know how to get those feelings 🤷🏻‍♀️ hope that makes sense

[@Missgevious]

Amazing 💜💚❤️

[@ashleyartsco]

Would you recommend an anxious attachment get with another person to heal from the avoidant

[@Chaz_NFQ]

You think a rebound is the solution?

[@marcd2743]

You got to work on yourself first. That's the same as using alcohol, it just suppresses what you are feeling and you can't get stronger and evolve.

[@astrale-l3n]

I can't find the feelings and needs list :/

[@A22208]

I wish i found this video 4.5 years ago :(

[@rickchaput9009]

I'm watching this video because I'm trying to figure out the problem...I need to stop :(

[@7etiennelandman87]

I feel so disgusted by her, I feel like not being nice to her and ignore her, but still I care about her, I am really confused about this.

[@petersouza6554]

DISCARD IS FAR WORSE THAN A NORMAL BREAK UP

[@aditigoyal8090]

❤️