Derek & Clive - Sex Manual

[@rodmac8358]

This is more precious than gold.

[@sirbarnabyst.johntoffingto9017]

Absolute unadulterated filth!!! I shall be speaking to my MP about this!!

[@twentyrothmans7308]

@@sirbarnabyst.johntoffingto9017 Send a round robin.

[@shannogh]

"get your knob out, put it in her hand and cry" fucking top tip I'm gonna try it!

[@youraveragebinchicken6807]

Did it work?

[@anthonywalker6276]

Mainly used by Jesuits.

[@martinmcmanus2815]

You got the old knob did you? thought you were running in the new one? 😊

[@AnalogueInTheUK]

Timeless. RIP, fellas.

[@philipswain4122]

Brilliant. Used to listen to this whilst at uni. I just hope my daughter doesn’t find my tapes and CDs

[@alansmith4729]

It's a very useful and in depth discussion on the delicate subject of lovemaking , I have made notes .

[@donning]

I never tire of these.

[@susiehenders]

Beautiful great work 😂 RIP COOK & MOORE

[@shannogh]

"THERE SHOULD BE NO GUILT ASSOCIATED IN GIVING A BUDGIE A BIT OF SEED AND THEN FUCKING IT"

[@danbaxter4216]

I can’t believe my grandad used to listen to this 😂😂😂

[@ihopetowin]

I learnt a lot previously unknown to me, thank you.

[@KyleAHasslerMusic]

the best thing you can do..to appeal to her, is- "get your knob out, out it in her hand, and cry!" .... that's one method.

[@edwardrowbury6015]

Just as he was saying that I read this 🤣

[@martinmcmanus2815]

I love these guys their humour is the bedt😊

[@heresjoje]

ahhh dear so funny, classic stuff, ty for posting xx

[@wesmatron]

"Get your knob out, put it in her hand and begin to cry"

[@forestsoceansmusic]

Haven't heard this one! "Women are there to grab hold of your knob aren't they?" And... "...the goddess Aretusa...she was a Siren wasn't she? [yeh]...or an alarm system of some kind..."

[@replicas11]

That bit made me fucking howl, Cook at his best 😂😂

[@JJONNYREPP]

Derek & Clive - Sex Manual 1109am 21.7.23 nice to know that some folk knew of aretusa... bringing in his classical education, here. which is rare in these skits... maybe in their more sober moments they would refer to some educated aspect of their personas... "dont give it seed, just fuck the budgie..."

[@KevinReynolds-q4k]

They were well educated men with a totally bizarre sense of toilet humour and I say there should be more of it

[@boneyween]

"never shake a right handed woman with your nose"

[@martinhill2583]

A fire extinguisher on his knob 😂😂

[@paulwise7206]

I've listened to this off vynal and it's fucking quality, 1210 technics

[@W42PZ]

*vinyl

[@rachgaffin]

Lmfao, thankgod my bf is one of those uneducated people then. hahaha

[@neilmccormick2064]

I've never heard this before . I nearly died laughing.

[@flipper2392]

I just stopped from pissing myself, got to go now, quick.

[@twentyrothmans7308]

This was the "birds and bees" education my father gave me.

[@Gruntle]

this gives me the horn

[@jamiephillips6036]

.... everything gives me the horn I find...🤪

[@iansmith511]

I have a semi-on slathered in stale spermatozoa, smells almost like a nice Gouda.

[@rogeralsop3479]

Magnificent!

[@DuchessOfStratosphere]

Absolutely fucking beautiful. Derek & Clive are the only comedians I've found that are actually funnier than Chris Morris.

[@Spoonbill_88]

Decent post. Like Chris Morris they can be surreal without being wacky.

[@DuchessOfStratosphere]

@@Spoonbill_88 yeah, absolutely. also the audio stuff peter cook and chris morris did are gold.

[@Smudgie]

Derek & Clive: The Cheese Hat - created by Chat GPT Clive: Oi, Derek. 'ave you ever thought 'bout inventing somethin'? Derek: Oh, I've thought about it, Clive. But every time I get a brilliant idea, someone's already done it. You know, like sliced bread. Clive: Sliced bread? You were too slow, mate. Gotta be quicker than that. What about a hat made of cheese? Derek: A cheese hat? Clive: Yeah, you know, like a nice Stilton on your head. Keeps you warm in the winter, and if you're peckish, you can just nibble on your headgear. Derek: That's... brilliant. A portable snack and fashion statement in one. But wouldn't it melt in the sun? Clive: That's the beauty of it, innit? You see, you sell 'em in the winter, make a fortune, and in the summer... well, you get a puddle of fondue. Derek: So, it's a seasonal business, then? Clive: Exactly! And think of the marketing: "Keep your head warm and your stomach full!" Derek: Right, but what if someone nicks your cheese hat? There's bound to be a lot of cheese thieves about. Clive: Ah, that's where the cheese alarms come in. Little bells, maybe. You move your head, and they jingle. Scares off the thieves, and you sound festive. Derek: Like a walking Christmas tree, but edible. Clive: Exactly, Derek! We could branch out-cheese scarves, cheese gloves, the whole lot! Derek: It's a wonder no one's thought of it before. Clive: Probably because it's a terrible idea. Derek: Ah, but that's never stopped us, has it? Clive: True, true. Well, to the drawing board then-right after I finish this pint.

[@ThePaulv12]

She was a siren wasn't she? ...or an alarm system of some kind...

[@amarok5048]

Hysterical!

[@Pinskip2]

Thank you. I don't reckon there's enough porn on the internet.

[@JJONNYREPP]

Derek & Clive - Sex Manual 1105am 21.7.23 i do. i find it very boring.. and i should know - i've just flicked thru masses of it on-line... it's either their brand of boring or make yer own entertainment... all this... all this derek and clive business is in reference to is finding out yer work colleague, yer erstwhile work colleague... now conspicuous by his absence, is not a partner. and never was!!! didnt even know who they were - these would-be high falutin' big wigs, these d.i.y porn merchants and scooter riders.

[@RadicalRoots23]

Funny thing is that those chat up lines work!

[@brucethomas5123]

When you try them on prostitution’s,works every time!

[@Charlotte66666]

Not heard this before 😂😂😂

[@gibbogle]

Where was this originally published?

[@thisisbob1001]

In the Bible?

[@sirbarnabyst.johntoffingto9017]

This was an outtake from the 1978 Ad Nauseam album sessions. Released originally on the Ad Nauseam CD reissue in 1989.

[@martynevans4363]

The gaming lemon does this why

[@smurfysmurf9981]

1:56

[@Stratahoovius]

Unless you shit from your armpit....which I think is a mistake!

[@piemash8628]

I think I'm valerie.

[@replicas11]

Has Valerie got a knob🤔

[@anthonywalker6276]

Should be part of a philosophy/sexology class.

[@krisscanlon4051]

Hugh Padgham engineering this one...Cook volleying every serve from Moore...

[@kdee8166]

"Which I think is a mistake" 😂

[@FredPilcher]

:D Brilliance! ROTFLMAO

[@tonymooney9244]

😂😂

[@hughiedavies6069]

The woke brigade wouldn't be amused 😀

[@ianharling9569]

Fuck the woke wankers😂

[@grantmcaskell4568]

No they wouldn't but fuck em. 40 years ago these two got me and my mates through high school..loved everything they did. Lobsters up the asshole and train over the knob are just brilliant.

[@HighRolla1]

hahahHA!

[@Richie.G.String]

classic

[@thisisbob1001]

Budgie in particular

[@1979guitarman]

😂

[@tonymooney9244]

😂