DeSantis Ad Implies He Was Chosen By God | Twitter Bans Users For Impersonating Elon Musk

With races coming down to the wire, pollsters seem unable to predict the results of the midterm elections and candidates like Florida's governor are making some wild statements in their final ads. Also, Elon Musk fired half of Twitter's workforce and started permanently suspending handles that use his name and photo without identifying themselves as parody. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@NewMessage]

"Put them wherever you hide your secret children." A hiding spot so good, even Herschel can't remember they exist!

[@Sicaughtik]

To be fair, I can't find my local supermarket's locked dumpster either

[@gregorchard7881]

Wouldn't need to be much of a hiding spot. 🤣🤣🤣

[@janmay7961]

To be fair! even if Walker remembers them, he will immediately deny their existence!🤦‍♀️

[@barbaralamprecht5784]

I know nothing of football but I don't think I have ever witnessed a candidate so stupid and thuddingly ignorant as Hershel Walker. His presence on the ticket just confirms his handlers' lust for power.

[@NewMessage]

We already had to set the clocks back this week.. let's not set the country back, too... k? VOTE!

[@MelioraCogito]

Voting is like driving a car: if you want to go forward, select “D”; if you want to go backward, select “R”.

[@indigowolf556]

Amen👍🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@singerrb4984]

VOTE BLUE!!!!!

[@TheUltimateRare]

the kids would love to vote if they could :3

[@jaya1000]

70% of eligible voters voted in 2020. We are who we are. Reagan won 49 states. We suck. We've sucked for 50 years.

[@McLKeith]

"A lot of people are anxious and that is exactly the way the news media wants you". I couldn't have said it better.

[@marvelouslife1309]

It just motivated me to vote in person and vote early. I considered it the best way to insure my vote was counted and I could do it safely.

[@bwenluck9812]

@McLKeith Contrary to popular belief people need to learn to take news reports with a grain of salt and refuse to melt down over every little thing.

[@PassiveAssassin]

I finally mustered the energy to sign in to my Twitter, to deactivate it.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Thought about getting Twitter once, in its first few years. Now you couldn't pay me enough to sign up.

[@laalaa99stl]

Free speech sure is expensive on Twitter!

[@squalley]

An arm and BOTH legs 😳😬🤭

[@couragekarnga8735]

I never used Twitter, and I never will. It's a cesspool.

[@mattstyles2498]

Except making fun of elon. That's not allowed. Its in the constitution, I think. Ben Franklin put it in there

[@MrPhotodoc]

Millions will bail.

[@DY-td3ku]

@@MrPhotodoc yeah for about a week, just like all the celebrities who said they would leave America if Trump won

[@bast713]

Watching Twitter turn on Elon has been quality entertainment, and you don't have to pay $8 for it 😂

[@LividImp]

I think this is the first time I've ever considered making a twitter account.

[@stevewalston7089]

@@LividImp While most of us closed our accounts ... to be fair, never used it anyway but it was out of principle. As it turns out, Elon is a kook too, very disappointing. He should have stuck with Mars and kept his mouth shut. Now I want him stuffed into a rocket with DeSantis, El Trumpo, and Besos and shot into space.

[@LividImp]

@@stevewalston7089 Never made an account because there is very little to say in 140 characters or less (as it was back in the day). It just encourages fishing for approval via a sound bite culture. It's great for quipy one-liners, but not much else. It's basically just modern day TV. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when KZbin and Facebook have a superior discourse space.

[@James_Doyle83]

Especially now 😂😂

[@Jadeskorpion]

Thank you for being here tonight. I'm terrified for tomorrow.

[@robinbeers6689]

I alternate between terrified and confident that we have got this. I think we have got this.

[@tomg3290]

I'm snot

[@haveaday1812]

You should be. Freedom is about to return to this country, feee speech is about to return, and all you woke scumbags will have to crawl back into your holes for the next 6 years.

[@gregbors8364]

Try not to worry about stuff you can’t control

[@vrvaughn]

Don’t be afraid.. just vote and take your neighbors who vote blue with you…

[@Canuckmom128]

To quote the late, great Robin Williams: “A spokesperson for Heaven quoted God as saying: “I don’t know these people… I’ve never spoken to them…and I wish they’d stop using my name.” GO VOTE, Folks. 🌊🌊🌊💙

[@MonkeyJedi99]

I don't think this "God" is a registered voter in Florida. Better send out some law enforcement and arrest him/her/it!

[@fasteddie9569]

In the words of robin Williams to joe biden "shut the fuck up joe sit down "

[@krisfrederick5001]

"Pollsters have no f***ing idea what's going to happen" is the first election headline I believe 👀

[@irelandlynn9168]

@ first last .... and like Fox “News” every single day

[@conradsieber7883]

I thought the real DeSantis ad was a parody but it was real. Wtf?

[@benr3799]

I literally still am in shock about him yelling at kids to take their mask off and risk contracting corona and telling them “enough of the Covid theater” like literally only in Florida. I’m honestly surprised he didn’t rip them off their faces himself. So ashamed we let this man have 4 years to give Florida an even worse name than we had

[@suehowie152]

Top Gun/ God... Narcissists Inc...

[@LouOutta92]

It's both. It's modeled off of "God Made A Farmer" which is a 1978 poem by Paul Harvey. Nothing original about it, unsurprisingly.

[@anaximanderofapollonia9842]

@@LouOutta92 So is it common for USA politicians to model their political advert based off of that poem?

[@deliranteotaku]

I live in Florida and neither me nor any of my friends have seen this ad, but the one we saw was the Top Gun/ Top Governor so I guess there were different ad in different counties 🤷‍♂️

[@shermanculbertson6244]

On Sunday we set our clocks back an hour. Tomorrow we must do everything possible to make sure we don’t set our country’s clocks back 60 years.

[@janmay7961]

So true! Go Blue🥳💙🇺🇸👊

[@benr3799]

You literally stole this comment smh

[@carolross1517]

💯👍💙💙💙

[@ChoppedLiver]

Too late, we already did. We have to keep from going back a few hundred more.

[@bonghunezhou5051]

Truer things... ☺ 3:44 😆

[@UberMiguel603]

I just love how Stephen prefers to tease right into the band playing him off, like an award winner with too many thanks to give..

[@KariBear_21]

Talk is cheap, voting is free! Take it to the Ballot box!!! 🗳 go vote!!!💙

[@nomore6167]

"Talk is cheap, voting is free" - The physical act of voting may be free, but that doesn't mean the process is. If, for example, mail-in voting isn't a viable option for whatever reason and you don't have your own transportation, then the act of traveling to the polling location will cost, especially if the polling location was moved to another county. That's one reason why mail-in voting should be allowed in all locations, for any reason. It's also a reason why we should have a form of secure online voting (yes, it CAN be done IF it is designed and implemented correctly). Having said that, I understand and fully agree with your underlying message.

[@nomore6167]

@Bikkest Boto "Voted Red down the line" - Red for regression? Given the options, I'll vote for progress rather than regress.

[@SplendidFellow]

@Bikkest Boto lol then you voted for your vote to no longer count from now on

[@ginamitembe8935]

Right on👍👍👍✊

[@chuckgoodman3828]

@@nomore6167 Yes, the Dems did a wonderful job “progressing” record high inflation, and fuel prices! Smart people will be voting to regress those!

[@kmlund42]

We need humour more than ever. Don't lose heart, we need all the good energy we can get. "DeSantis from Adam's taint!" Gold!

[@howardtheduck5958]

If you voted via absentee ballot, make sure to check the status to make sure your ballot was received and accepted. ESPECIALLY if you live in MI, PA, or WI.

[@catsj1767]

But how do we know it’s counted???😮😮😮

[@salortiz6548]

Wisconsin just had their election commission deputy director fired for fraud. A loophole that was around for years… including 2020.

[@tigq1430]

And NC

[@tigq1430]

@@catsj1767 your state has a (electoral) website, should direct you.

[@JM-zg2jg]

@@catsj1767 In PA it won’t be until after all the other votes are counted, and there will be Trumpublican “poll watchers” in place to delay the mail in count. Because Trumpublicans have already announced their plan to declare victory at midnight tomorrow, knowing full well that the mail in votes won’t be finished by then.

[@kieragard]

i really hope musk makes twitter implode. the world will be a much better place.

[@thomasknopf7194]

agreed

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

I just hope he implodes and goes away finally

[@Soapboxstomper]

Maybe everyone will just walk away from twit and his twitter😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@bilateralrope8643]

Lets see. He's fired staff who maintain critical parts of the infrastructure Twitter relies upon, he's added a $1 billion monthly loan repayment to it, he's driven away advertising revenue and he's fired large parts of the moderation team required to keep Twitter moderating content that EU law requires them to moderate. It's not a question of if Twitter will implode. It's a question of when and how.

[@rossburg84]

The "type up your pink slip" bit was absolutely mint. One of the funniest things I've seen on here

[@sophiophile]

Oprah should have taken Oz down a long time ago. Its probably going to be too little too late. Please, please vote.

[@mtaylor7307]

Felt the same. When it could have made a difference, she remained silent.

[@Jadeskorpion]

I feel like she must be under an NDA and legally can't come out against him.

[@jfh9209]

Oprah also never apologized and warned her fans for her promoting James Arthur Ray, an American self-help businessman, motivational speaker and author who was convicted in 2011 of causing three deaths of his customers through negligent homicide. He served two years in Arizona state prison and was released under supervision on July 12, 2013. Following his release, Ray re-launched his self-help business.

[@mtaylor7307]

@@jfh9209 Oprah became all about growing her brand.

[@dfuher968]

Oprah promoted and made legit soooo many charlatans, grifters and fakes. Coming out against Oz? Suuuuure, great. Far too little, far too late.

[@AlakaxamM]

Wow, I'm so shocked by Elon Musk's response. It's almost like people who think offensive "jokes" and "free speech" are ok when directed at others, can't handle it when they become the target 🙄.

[@alexdasliebe5391]

Who could’ve seen that coming?! Oh, right, everyone. ✌🏼🤣👍🏼 Think this gonna tank TSLA value, too

[@MartianManHunter7]

Totally misinformed on what happened

[@jstnxprsn]

Truly shocking. LOLOL Projection is a Repub superpower. They're nothing but whiny snowflakes.

[@flackstar007]

@@alexdasliebe5391 The irony is the market needed Musk to self implode in order to be given more recognition by the media as actual competition. Real innovation requires massive competition and this drives technology forward. The only silver lining to Musk's downward spiral is it will give far-right conservatives an excuse to buy an electric car without feeling to "liberal" in the process, so progress will still take a small win.

[@jstnxprsn]

@@Onikage55 It only concerns him now because it affects HIM.

[@deliranteotaku]

I live in Florida and neither me nor any of my friends have seen this ad, but the one we got by mail was the Top Gun/ Top Governor, that one was funny

[@223Drone]

Elon Musk: "Comedy is now legal on Twitter." Also Elon Musk: *bans people who mock him with parody accounts*

[@couragekarnga8735]

I'm starting to really hate that dude. And he told people to vote Republican, so yeah.

[@coryryder9070]

gop still bitching about my public options to obamacare

[@AndiDuck]

"The world's richest freeloader Elon Musk evidently has very thin skin." Senator Elizabeth Warren

[@salortiz6548]

Two words “terms of service”

[@jeremybenoit759]

If you even had any clue what your talking about you would know very well it was against twitter rules to impersonate people before Elon took it over, you should consider educating yourself.

[@SquiLLs]

Jesus Christ, I thought that desantis ad was satire. How can that be real? What is wrong with Florida?

[@karincerstvik3840]

A LOT

[@ArchetypalCat]

Hey! We're the "Sunshine State" --- the sun shines right into one ear and out the other ...

[@bhays05]

It seems God may be trying to tell them something with that second hurricane coming at them. Some people can't see the trees for the forest.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Um, it's Florida!

[@michaellockhart6632]

What's wrong with Florida is a pretty loaded question. It's kinda hurting my brain just in the first few seconds of trying to think about it.

[@simonederobert1612]

I voted today, just like I always do when the polls are open. But today, unlike other election days, I took advantage of the slightly chilly weather and wore my LSSC hoodie. Nobody has ever commented to me before today about my hoodie. Today, knowing it was an election day, people did. Hard to deny, even if I wanted to, that I voted BLUE all the way down the ballot. Felt really good.

[@vrvaughn]

If DeSatan is the best god can do he’s getting too old for the job…

[@ronaldlindeman6136]

New and young Gods aren't good either. They flood everything, bring fire from the sky. Not better.

[@eternalskeptic]

Damn right, we need a younger God.

[@deemzz8275]

@@POPCORN_BRAWL excuse me, I believe you mean God has HOLY ghosted us!

[@DS-tv2fi]

Damn straight! That’s why, as of this moment, I am announcing my candidacy in the next deity election! My first act as the new almighty would be to eliminate the colour yellow.

[@NewarkBay357]

Trump will rob your nickname for DeSantis.

[@Dessamator]

You just can't trust the polls anymore. You just can't. So please, vote. Everyone needs to vote. It will matter.

[@TheUltimateRare]

everyone who isn't a child at least :)

[@MartianManHunter7]

First time voter right here. Voting Republican down the ticket.

[@carolross1517]

💯👍👍👍💙💙💙

[@calmyourmind5665]

I don’t know. We should ask a group of people representing a fair portion of the nation to see if people trust polls or not.

[@EinChris75]

Strongly agree. Votes are not polls. Polls are not votes. Don't feel comfortable by any news about good looking polls.

[@ForeverMe543]

The Elon story reminds me of "petty revenge on bosses" stories where they fire the one person who truly runs the company and it all goes to 💩

[@KealohaHarrison]

Commented this yesterday on John Oliver, but I’ll say it again here. Voted Thursday, trying not to doomscroll. Everyone go out and vote tomorrow

[@alexdasliebe5391]

You’ve done your part, don’t doom scroll. ✌🏼😃👍🏼 This is why I dislike Tw*tter. Sleep well.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Voting achieves nothing. It's like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic

[@JBond-zf4dj]

@@lenawagenfuehr53 if it keeps the deranged Republicans from messing with things, then it does matter. Vote!

[@gregbits6109]

Feel like ‘Have a policy’ should be the number one rule when running for elected office…

[@ramonalivingston1316]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for keeping us laughing when it feels like the tears are just a chuckle away...💙💚

[@dulp0707]

Elon Musk suspended Kathy Griffin's Twitter account for impersonating him, but she logged into her late mother 's Twitter account and called him A-hole and hack.

[@morbidmanmusic]

They both sound stupid and immature.

[@celestesenters1052]

Ahahaha Ahahaha!!!! I love those ladies

[@j.dragon651]

Elon goes to show you don't have to be that smart to be successful which isn't such a bad thing.

[@anaximanderofapollonia9842]

So, you don't have a problem when the audience does NOT know the difference between the real person and an impersonator pretending to be that real person?

[@celestesenters1052]

@@anaximanderofapollonia9842 bwwaaaahahaha … don’t be so dumb

[@heyheytaytay]

"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." - Ed R Murrow

[@andrewtodaro2874]

Also, Edward R. Murrow warned us “we cannot promote freedom abroad if we abandon it here at home” vote blue!

[@heyheytaytay]

@@andrewtodaro2874 Nice. Even more germane today.

[@wandajochandler5248]

Straight up,100%!

[@thomassteiner744]

Exactly. That's why I am voting republican. Mom didn't raise no fool but I wasn't born yesterday.

[@g0679]

@@thomassteiner744 Ted Koppel told Sean Hannity he was “bad for America.” View it on KZbin.

[@bhavanova2849]

Masterpiece skit of twitter’s fired/rehired/fired employee!

[@SusiFroggyPorter]

For the fired Twitter employees they want back, I'd say this is the best time to ask for a raise.

[@DjiemYT]

Honestly, I wouldn't go back. They've already been shown how expendable they are and that management will fire them the second they feel like it.

[@willdejong7763]

Ask for a raise, AND keep the 3 months severance regardless of whether they go back.

[@couragekarnga8735]

How they ever let Elon buy Twitter to begin with I don't understand.

[@Beacuzz]

@@couragekarnga8735 I heard he made the offer, couldn't back it up, got called out on it, and then had to put his money where his mouth went. And now we are here ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[@bilateralrope8643]

@@willdejong7763 And don't stop job hunting.

[@allenlovell1604]

Please keep the laughs, gags, and the funny stuff coming 🤣, Stephen ! Between you, Jimmy Kimmel, and several talented parody videos and songs on KZbin ; you're helping me and lots of other Americans stay sane ! Instead of all of us going completely crazy 🤪 like a cookoo clock !

[@VenetusAlpha]

If you haven’t, check out Mrs. Betty Bowers.

[@benthomason3307]

Musk is doing the world the biggest favor it's gotten in decades: running twitter into the ground.

[@keithb6717]

Twitter has more users (real users) now than ever before. Massive amounts of people signing up for free speech. Look it up.

[@orion7763]

@@keithb6717 Republican "free speech" means libel (Alex Jones), bigotry (Kanye West), or cock and bull conspiracy theories (Trump and friends)

[@margo3367]

I hope there’s a mass exodus.

[@Mr.Coffee576]

Thats one way to look at it. But that will only pave way for other social media companies to copy Twitter, which will force users to move there. Twitter might go but the idea will still remain.

[@user-kb9cu4rl9z]

Maybe he'll go after TikTok next.

[@camelsheit_on_the_walls446]

💙 Do not allow your country to turn into a Horror version of Idiocracy, USA 💙 💙Blue support to all good sensible Americans from this Norwegian💙 💙 ⚡ 💙

[@patinsley]

I love you... welcome to murica... I love you... welcome to murica I love you... welcome to murica... I love you... welcome to murica I love you... welcome to murica... I love you... welcome to murica...

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

Genuinely the first time in my entire life, I've laughed at the Chicken Crossing the Road joke! (that'll be $8!)

[@nujoli100]

I'm just ready for it to be over. I'm mentally exhausted. I need a break before the 2024 crap starts.

[@goblinwisdom]

Can't wait for trump, brexit and putin to be consigned to the bin of historic blunders.

[@Tina-qp7py]

What's McCarthy going to do when he finds out he's not Speaker?

[@couragekarnga8735]

If 2022 doesn't go right, there won't be a 2024.

[@Soapboxstomper]

Yup i get the feeling exhausted part.. i just want those evil lying cheating bullying Aholes to all go away!! Restore kindness to the good ol USA and vote the repugs away!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

[@molliebowling7029]

wake up sweetheart. you never get off this train.

[@MelioraCogito]

Voting is like driving a car: if you want to go forward, select “D”; if you want to go backward, select “R”. You won't get anywhere by staying [in] neutral. I hope my cousins and neighbours to the south survive their brush with tyranny with democracy prevailing. Good luck on Tuesday Nov. 8th, 2022 - you're going to need it. 🤞

[@wandajochandler5248]

❤❤

[@l.w.4701]

@Meliora Cogito “Voting is like driving a car;…” oh that is SO GOOD❤🎉

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Gee, some of us can drive a manual transmission. We're also able to count.

[@lynnpelo]

Loved it! You should be a comedy writer. ❤️❤️❤️💯

[@JahOhKay]

I grew up in a hyper-conservative home. I’m not sure if my family would have eaten up that DeSantis ad, but when I saw it, I could picture it being very compelling to most evangelical church audiences. They don’t literally mean that God made DeSantis on the 8th day, any more than they mean that God saw that little Tommy needed a best friend so God made dogs on the 8th day. It’s just a way to say that something is important/precious to them. In Evangelical circles it’s extremely common to put extra importance on something by saying that God made that thing on the 8th day. And I know people are really holding their noses at that ad, but that’s going to be a very effective ad among Evangelicals. DeSantis doesn’t need to tell his audiences that the ad is tongue-and-cheek. If you are steeped in Evangelical culture like going to church on Sunday, eaten fried chicken and mashed taters with gramma and grampa after church, sitting around at the pastor’s house for Bible study, singing hymns with the congregation, you are going to understand that ad on an emotional level. It makes me cringe, it’s very cheesy, but I actually picture deeply-conservative Evangelical audiences in tears over that ad. They knew where to hit all the emotional buttons that matter to conservatives, so like it or not, it’s an effective ad.

[@jadecovehealing5636]

Effective yes, that's what makes it so scary. I never liked DeSantis, but this commercial is vomit inducing. Politicians pretending that they are chosen by God, while it may be alluding to a saying and not literal, he also knows that they will on some level take it literally as though he is actually the candidate who is on God's "side". When people start to believe that their side is chosen by God and they are fighting the devil and evil, really bad things can happen because they are de-humanizing an entire group of people. I know you get this because you have independent thoughts from your family, which is very refreshing to hear by the way.

[@scrosby9186]

I'm Christian and the add is offensive to me

[@JahOhKay]

@@jadecovehealing5636 completely agree.

[@JahOhKay]

@@scrosby9186 that gives me hope. I know that it’s not all Christians who will agree with that ad. I can picture the Christians who will be deeply affected by the ad, and it scares me because they are being used by politicians who know how to prey upon their emotions in a very specific way. Thank you for thinking for yourself. I know there are many Christians who don’t expect their politician of choice to be their savior, and I wish the media would spend more time on folks like you.

[@mattgee5609]

I just love when he puts the Ray-Ban's on!

[@shadowdemon2272]

Is Desantis' ad also implying that Florida is a "planned paradise"? 🤣🤣🤣

[@DjiemYT]

Well, with global climate change, it'll soon go through a flood of Noah's Ark proportions, so.....

[@garfield2439]

Trust me it's not.

[@LindaC616]

God created meth on day 3

[@LividImp]

Do you think they even know that a term like "planned paradise" is a euphemism for communism?

[@thanospatrick9093]

Florida is great. Love living here

[@patrickrudiger8762]

The discussion of labeling parody as parody would have been a lovely opportunity to mention the onions ami curie brief to the SCOTUS in a case where police jailed someone that ran a (clearly identifyable) parody page of the police without explicitly labeling it as parody.

[@WillDraco]

It's weird that someone so dedicated to free speech would put an $8 price tag on it.

[@bookfound]

Thankfully nobody dedicated to free speech put an $8 price tag on it.

[@scootertooter6874]

Not really, since it's now a business, and no longer a destructive LEFTIST social project taking it's marching orders directly from Biden's moribund Oval office. Prior to the takeover, Twitter was optimized to kill dissenting views. It's hilarious how fascistic LEFTISTs have become in the last 5 or 6 years...

[@gerardflynn7382]

Free speech is only in America. Twitter is global.

[@jabbermocky4520]

I have never had a Twitter account and never will but please tell me: is 8 bucks a MONTH the fee for "free speech" on Elon's new toy? Or is it a one-time purchase to get your check mark? Doesn't matter to me, personally, but I can see that monthly fee going higher and higher all the time as Elon continues to blow up multimillion dollar rockets for fun. Somebody's gotta pay for all those wasteful, toxic explosions! Wasteful toxic explosions, in verbal form, are all Twitter offers anyway. Elon remains the billionaire blower-upper of everything he touches.

[@MrHaighahatta]

The bots and scammers can now purchase a blue checkmark verification and chalk up the $8/month as "the cost of doing business." How many rubles and rupees are $8??

[@kamanama3671]

I will never forgive Oprah Winfrey for unleashing both Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil on us.

[@rw3423]

🤣

[@pamelacass9642]

Reason why I don't watch whatever network Gayle King is on.

[@allantulli5546]

You forgot Harvey Weinstein or is that not convenient to point out about her.

[@peterm4475]

Or Mark Burnett for unleashing Trump.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

But I'm ok with Rachel Ray! For NOW!😂

[@realkursed]

The Desantis ad made me think Stephen made the ad for comedy at first then i realised in horror that it was real.

[@TheWtfanime]

I'm actively trying not to read the news since we're going to have a hellstrom arriving tomorrow, and I'm still anxious. That weatherman joke actually got me harder then expected though, so thanks to Stephan and the writers for that laugh since we'll all gonna need it. Please vote blue so we can save democracy.

[@jimmythebold589]

right? if there's a blue wave, then almost EVERY instance where a dem wins, we're not gonna see any maga repugs concede, and most will probably challenge the results via court cases

[@wtf1185]

For several weeks now, any site that mentions polls or anybody even speculating on the election, I will not go near. I've been watching a lot of Steve Lehto, a Michigan lawyer who tells interesting stories about the law and says nothing at all about politics. Refreshing to hear someone do that. *_I WILL be voting blue tomorrow._* 😁

[@tigq1430]

Been watching as many comedians as possible, taking a gummie before bed & breathing. very. Deep. (Than there's the weather coming🤦‍♀️)

[@lilithcumswelltm]

That's exactly me!! I am logged out of Twitter and news! Lol I can't take it! Lol 😂

[@710honeys3]

I can't wait till the Civil War

[@bilateralrope8643]

The really fun thing about that comment from Walker about not revealing the solutions he claims to have is that he doesn't even name the problems he's planning to solve.

[@kevinskiles2033]

One of them had something to do with young men looking at young women. I'm not sure if he was for it or not. Oh! there was also something involving mist.

[@joannbowden6220]

@@kevinskiles2033 u forgot about good air & bad air cancelling each other out so there's no climate crisis? 🤷🤷

[@kevinskiles2033]

@@joannbowden6220 Tell that to someone in a room full of good air when someone farts. Thanks Herschel!

[@richardpierpoint494]

@@kevinskiles2033 Here's ol' Hershel Wanker talking about that: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iYCQhoSYjdaCgac Dumb as a sack of sh1t, isn't it?

[@ArtGirl82]

​@@joannbowden6220 He really is like a Dunning-Kruger scale come to life

[@kika-ge5qr]

Fee fees for feelings is so good. Thank you Stephen.🌹

[@AndiDuck]

If God wanted Ron DeSantis to speak for her, she would have made him smart!

[@garfield2439]

Lol

[@azishappy2035]

Beautiful👍🌌

[@nicolasdeperno2000]

He went to Harvard I think he’s smart I don’t even like him either

[@anitanoecker2569]

@@nicolasdeperno2000 Just because he went to Harvard or anywhere does not make him or anyone smart. I never went to college and my IQ is 146.

[@utkarsh2746]

@@nicolasdeperno2000 It is possible to be cunning and not smart. Also, Harvard doesn't automatically mean smart, many bonafide idiots have passed out of Harvard.

[@joesunday199]

Please go vote! It's just about all I can say. We got to try and save Democracy! Whatever issue you believe is important; Democracy allows you to fight for it. So, fight for Democracy!

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

🙄 there are lose lose propositions out there - like Brazil. Neither candidate was any good and you had to vote.

[@joesunday199]

@@lenawagenfuehr53 Yeah, I voted for Bernie. I still say he would have done better.

[@TheLegitAlpha]

The real question is, will it be a peaceful transfer? If the answer is no, the democracy is already dead on arrival.

[@CloudsGirl7]

I did days ago - blue all the way. Republicans deciding a zygote is worth more or even as much as me has cost them a lifetime of my votes.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

lol You're funny. Do a little research into what democracy really is, and you'll see there has never been any actual democracy in the U$. It has always been just a show of pretend democracy. Legalized corruption, legalized electoral fraud, the electoral college, that's not democracy.

[@stevenbrown3249]

Musks strategy is basically like J Jonah Jameson’s “YOURE FIRED, no wait I need you you’re hired”

[@nodegreen7012]

Stephen Colbert i'm 87 years old and every night you are killing me with the things that came out of your mouth but they are on point you are soo right keep up the good work God Bless you this old lady love to hear you you made me laugh so much keep sweet.

[@theverhohnepeople8934]

Hello, Node, your sweet comment about Stephen made me all warm inside. Here in Europe, we also love to watch him on youtube. I find him funny and endearing and have been watching for years.

[@anaximanderofapollonia9842]

And if the things that come out of Colbert's mouth would NOT be on point, would you be able to spot the difference?

[@vickiedixon9745]

@@anaximanderofapollonia9842 Yes because he reiterates he was just joking unlike Republican liars

[@anaximanderofapollonia9842]

@@vickiedixon9745 If he is just joking, then by default, everything what he says (on his show) is a joke and should not be taken seriously. So, when he makes a joke, do you think that he is speaking the truth?

[@kitfenwick1641]

Agree

[@figmo397]

I'd say Colbert's staff put MORE thought into that Elon Musk site (and yes, it's real!) than Musk did into buying Twitter.

[@theresas14]

World Central Kitchen are the true heroes

[@LindaC616]

And on the day John Oliver was visiting...😅 Coincidence? 🤫

[@cryptoram4203]

I thought they forced him to buy it so they could run it into the ground and steal his money

[@CloudsGirl7]

Anything's more than nothing.

[@shona-sof]

If only there were some quick and easy way to verify the identity of people posting to Twitter. I guess we'll never know.

[@Itsme-oz7bh]

“Did someone hurt mr. Free speech’s fefes??” I almost spat out my tea 😂😂

[@thomashounsome7737]

He got me and my coffee with the "and Adam's taint." line. Great stuff! :)

[@Okeflora.6480]

This is the beginning of the end of twitter as we know it

[@matthewschwartz6486]

Ah yes, exactly what you want to hear from a prospective politician who will be paid to serve his community: "I refuse to share my plans with anybody, because the other side might use them!"

[@j.b.delaney3444]

Nixon got re-elected in 1968 by claiming he had a "secret plan" to end the Vietnam war.

[@whatifschrodingersboxwasacofin]

Well, we know his ‘plan’ is either going to be a flea-flicker or an onside kick. A Hail Mary either way. Not much fear of it being used, tbh. 😂

[@Turppa21]

Keep believing parrot propagandists on tv

[@sweett2185]

@@Turppa21 Who are you referring to?

[@Chulitatr]

Walker said: The other side might run 'wid it' and use them. lol

[@4freki]

Thank you Mr. Colbert ! You have no idea how many people your show helps to get through the insanity America is enduring right now 😀😀

[@malcolmwise2147]

pathetic

[@davidalan5283]

If you think he helps anyone then you must be insane as well

[@johnbrowne3950]

Only if you are a brain dead Democrat.

[@mr.s2005]

pretty funny joke here, funnier than anything Colbert being saying recently, since all he's been doing for the past few years is helping to increase this nation's insanity and is always willing to look the other way from actual attacks on democracy.

[@dougwristen2228]

that desantis add was very sad and a huge embarrassment to ron , night show hosts and lincoln project are going to have a field day with this moronic add.

[@MLIOGJXNUYAT]

There's also the tiny problem that mass firing with so little notice appears to be against California law.

[@AlakaxamM]

Well, they got 3 months' severance. I hope none of them return and just use the money as a buffer while they find a better place to work. What an ass he is

[@jellis9618]

@@AlakaxamM absolutely. Make Musk run that shit by himself. Anyone with a brain should boycott working there at all.

[@scootertooter6874]

Elon was correct to kick the "crypto-LEFTISTs" at Twitter onto the street...the fact that he is giving them 3 months of severance is a WEAKNESS, not a positive

[@spicyirwin5835]

Rt before the Holidays!

[@Soapboxstomper]

That Elon sure dont seem like the sharpest crayon in the box😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DanielWalters]

As a Christian, I find the chosen by God trope extra ironic. Almost all who claimed that title were headed for a fall.

[@Justanotherconsumer]

It’s almost like there’s a commandment about taking the name in vain or something…

[@tonyrae86]

Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. Matthew 24:4‭-‬5 NIV

[@waryaawariiri1812]

This Muslim agrees. What a sanctimonious dude.

[@WhiteFangofWar]

He wasn't referring to the Christian god. He was referring to the Trumpist 'god'.

[@someonerandom9939]

@@WhiteFangofWar unfortunately I can confirm this god is a thing, and said god claims things from trump is still president to everyone being brainwashed to ukraine being nazis and calling russia the "good guys" (no exaggeration) (Also there are thousands of people being brainwashed into believing this god)

[@MrDuane-lr8dm]

"In the name of god" and "Chosen by god", are usually words that come directly before a great tragedy. The witch trials, the holy crusades, the inquisition, the KKK, the former president etc.

[@PaNic99]

🎯💯✅

[@Justanotherconsumer]

The Deutsche Christen are a piece of history that seems to have been conveniently omitted from American education about the Nazis…

[@wandajochandler5248]

Sort of like when a messed up person who happens to be a cop yells “Stop resisting!” That’s when you know something really bad is about to go down for the detained.

[@henrietteheilbock7728]

Ey deus vult some signs to get out

[@jimbob3030]

It is by design, that is how these beliefs were always supposed to work.

[@roguedogx]

7:19 I disagree, the vast majority of MAGA-ist probably can't spell de-sanctimonious. (yes I had to look it up, but I don't pretend that I am even a moderately decent speller.)

[@shirleyandrews1152]

My solution for Herschel is a VASECTOMY 🤣😂🤪

[@danielgregory3295]

He already got the lobotomy!!😂😂😂

[@Stuckinabucketagain]

To be honest, I don't think ANYONE wants that man procreating. Keep him out of the gene pool.

[@keithb6717]

What? And deny a small child that genital mutilation? C’mon man...

[@Soapboxstomper]

And anything that prevents him from talking😂😂😂

[@StudioLB]

Colbert is a legend

[@couragekarnga8735]

Nice that he can laugh us into civil war.

[@AzovUpdates]

Colbert for Prez 2024!

[@papaaaaaaa2625]

@@couragekarnga8735 ohhh, little fella here wants a civil war because someone is making jokes...that's so American 🤣

[@toddstephens689]

In his own mind.

[@toddstephens689]

@@AzovUpdates Hahahahaha!

[@MLIOGJXNUYAT]

"Ad Implies", my foot! The ad outright SAYS it. The religious right was willing to accept all his un-Christian acts, but such sacrilege should have crossed the line for them. But apparently they were willing to ignore that, too.

[@nwdo6084]

Colbert got me laughing so hard with his weather forecast ... great to take the nervousness off from this mid-term eve! Thank you!

[@stefanhoimes]

I was at that rally at Temple U and got to see Biden transform into Dark Brandon in front of my eyes. It was pretty damn awesome.

[@samcitadel]

Jokes about Biden's age aren't really that funny tbh

[@ChrisAlbertH47]

"Pollsters have no idea what's gonna happen?" Well, that would be the first time they were being honest then.

[@ravi4846]

No, the pollsters said there is a 50% chance that they have no idea what's gonna happen... ;-)

[@michaelbootes4822]

Herschel Walkers “I have a solution but I’m not saying what it is” is straight out of The former Guys playbook.

[@jeffwatkins352]

Well, it's about time! A good long shot on Joe without any other band member blocking him. What took you guys so long???

[@arthurmartin4616]

Am always happy whenever John Oliver shows up on this show

[@natewap308]

I'm sorry if this comes across wrong... but listening to Herschel Walker speak, there is absolutely no way that man doesn't have brain damage!

[@AlakaxamM]

I agree, but he doesn't really sound different from the other Republican candidates

[@MartianManHunter7]

Kind talks of talks like fetterman, both have brain damage

[@icespa2729]

The medical term is CTE.

[@jessicak2811]

He's a walking, mumbling case of CTE!

[@raggedcritical]

It's hard to know whether you should vote against him because he's a lying hypocrite, because he's a damned moron, or because his party is a pack of horrifying fascists and he enthusiastically parrots their rhetoric.

[@NewMessage]

I'm honestly 50% sure Donnie just honestly mispronounced Ron's name. He has a complicated history with words, as we know.. and 'Sanctimonious' does NOT sound like one he'd be familiar with, unless someone used it to describe him once, and he thought it meant 'Prefers to drink Sanka'.

[@diamondmx3076]

I suspect he has a petty insults advisor, with a slightly wider vocabulary than his own. But that explaining what the big words mean to The Orange Guy often goes poorly.

[@aligentry4366]

Roger Stone used that name 8/9 days ago and we know these 2 are amigos.

[@robertray6021]

And he doesn't like the word yesterday

[@rumpvirus7393]

On the eighth day Satan crapped out Ron and Don on the beach... ....and it was bad.... real bad. Something a pelican wouldn't touch with a pair of reallly small dicks having a sword fight that is real small.... ...to see even with rock lobster opera glasses... which most Pelicans adhere to if they also have Been covered in glue. People never knew this before. Not many, but more than enough.

[@AbidingDude420]

He has “the best words,” don’t cha know? 🤦‍♂️

[@Trogdor1365]

Florida is the worst. I had to visit recently. It’s so depressing down there and the people are the biggest racists and hypocrites. I live in SC and while I don’t agree with most of the people here politically, they at least try to live up to their beliefs. And we have warm weather AND beautiful trees. Florida is a continuous parking lot with ugly trees and overgrown weeds here and there.

[@carstenweidner7308]

That ad about Desantis reminds me of something, i can't point my finger on it, but i dunno, might be something to do with Germany 1936.

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

1933...open a history book sometime.

[@mr.niceguy4919]

You're not alone in your fears about these elections...hang on, Nellie...it's gonna be wild. All kidding aside, I think the whole country is on proverbial pins and needles about this election cycle.🙄

[@joanne4758]

Mr Nice Guy - Kia Ora - I assure you it's not just USA on edge - it's all your allies. I've never paid this much time and energy following our own elections. A big *Thank you* - God bless.

[@couragekarnga8735]

I haven't had this much anxiety since 2020!

[@Soapboxstomper]

Anticipation of the mid terms is about as fun as a proctology exam😢😢😢

[@Bevity]

If one certain party doesn't win, the election will be automatically be said to be stolen. Nothing will ever change. Those people are disgusting.

[@jailcatjones3250]

Cause if the Republicans lose they will cry wolf again

[@StevenTorrey]

@9:30 So much for the fair and free exchange of ideas and celebration of anything goes speech and letting the market place decide what is sensible, acceptable, suitable, appropriate!

[@ginadoyle4089]

Steve and Fallon and anyone who helps us laugh through this insanity (and help us feel a little less lonely) BIG THANK YOU

[@Chulitatr]

Yes they do ease the stress. "I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Except for Ron DeSantis And Trumpty Dumbty! LOL

[@KingHill2015]

​@@Chulitatr Amazing you've got my subscription

[@maryanngruver6260]

That’s FOR SURE !!!!!!

[@tenacious1]

Seth too

[@runnergo1398]

Trevor Noah, too. And a shout out to liberal comedian Steve Hofstetter.

[@mattmontali2889]

Love this man!!

[@Cilantrchef]

Oh how I need the Late Show in this time of hell on earth. Thanks for the laughs

[@williamgregory1848]

Democracy is getting burned to the ground and some folks are still like, "Can you believe gas is up seven cents?!" It’ll be like when the Titanic was halfway down and some asshole was like, "Hold up, our waiter never brought the syrup I asked for"?

[@cameronsitton501]

"On one hand, democracy as an institution is going to be completely undermined, if not destroyed, if the Republicans win. But on the other hand, gAs iS eXpEnSiVeEeEe"

[@lenawagenfuehr53]

Newsflash: there are other countries besides USA, and we're doing okay.

[@Soapboxstomper]

Inflation is happening all over the world.. geoeconomics, and attempts to control US elections by the saudis inflating oil / gas prices, but GOP just wants to try and pin all the really complicated reasons for high cost of living right now on Biden Katie porter.. on any Dem… while any one leading the country right now would face the same problems and its not their faults!! Bullying blame agents GOP but do THEY actually have any valid policies, plans, cure alls??? NOPE! NONE🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@maver1cs384]

Twitter = Free Speech under Musk is like saying China is a democracy.

[@Soapboxstomper]

Billionaires just wanna control everything and act like they know everything but they are usually way too big an ego for their britches! I think hes out of his scope of training😂😂😂

[@JohnCampbellmarleybikes]

It's difficult to fathom the fact that Trump STILL isn't in jail. Who wants to vote in a system so broken...

[@stanbyme7874]

Ron DeSantis from Adams taint-dying here. My cat jumped off & ran I laughed so hard. Gotta love your writers! Thanks All! Much needed

[@GottaGetBeefy]

IDK...it didn't work out so well for the last guy who was chosen by God 😳

[@queenrosered]

"He made DeSantis from Adam's taint " COMEDY GOLD! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 👍

[@alansmitheejr.]

De Santis may be chosen by God but he'll never get nominated by Him.

[@couragekarnga8735]

If DeSantis was chosen by God, yall need a new god!

[@mementomori7825]

@@couragekarnga8735 Have you read the bible? Deathsanta is a perfect representative for that entity.

[@jakep9610]

VOTE BLUE 🔵

[@grheeinhawaii]

Vote purple and green and aquamarine

[@carolross1517]

💯👍👍👍💙💙💙

[@bigdreams5554]

Musk: free speech isn't free, now give me $8/mo.

[@AlpenTree]

Thank you Stephen Colbert: these years since 2015, you are the only thing that makes us laugh and maintains our sanity in these horrendous times! 🌿. We need all the help we can get in tomorrow's election!!! Vote vote vote vote blue save our democracy!

[@scootertooter6874]

Vote blue to protect lying, cheating, stealing...and widespread election fraud...

[@couragekarnga8735]

Oprah could've done what she did a lot sooner. Dr. Oz is the one thing I'll never forgive her for!

[@morbidmanmusic]

God has nothing to do with it.. thank him.

[@anaximanderofapollonia9842]

A qenuine question: Instead of "maintaining your sanity," if Colbert were to slowly pushing you to INsanity, could you tell the difference?

[@dhanmatiekhan6008]

​@@anaximanderofapollonia9842

[@michaelnorris4629]

So God sent Florida a storm to tell him he’s not the chosen one.

[@ziqi92]

“DeSanctimonious” has the same energy as “Felicitations malefactors! I’m endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles!”

[@Arnoldfan89]

When he said "we bought a website" I thought "that sounds like John Oliver". Literally the next thing he said was "our guest is John Oliver". Nice.

[@LindaC616]

I don't see any coincidence there whatsoever lol!🤣🤣

[@Maliceah]

I love when Stephen breaks into character.

[@heartofdawn2341]

The parody accounts are still being banned, even though they now mark themselves as much Comedy is now legal on Twitter- just as long as you don't bruise that fragile ego

[@DY-td3ku]

What parody accounts are being banned?

[@couragekarnga8735]

I really hate that guy.

[@angelcastro3129]

Thank god for Colbert, I couldn't take the news without the humor lol Polls are so misleading,1500 voters cannot possibly conclude anything for the roughly over184 million voters who's opinions were not asked lol

[@feliciar.8838]

I been saying that for years!

[@raygunsforronnie847]

I suggest Statistics 101, 102, and 201. Or "Statistics for Dummies" (my favorite!). The size of the sample determines the margin of error. What the poll is trying to measure determines how that margin can vary because of over/under representation of a demographic group, occupation, political party, etc. Polling has been around long enough that much of those can be modeled and taken into account in the pollster's written narrative about the numerical results. All that depends on having truly random samples where participation and forthright answers are plentiful. Part of why political polls over the last 6-8 years have been off are non-participation and dishonest answers.

[@angelcastro3129]

@@raygunsforronnie847 I understand the process and what it is supposed to represent despite how the media presents it I still say that such a small fraction of a percent cannot possibly speak for the masses. Though the media presents it as if that percentage is of the whole and not the segment, which in turn influences, even if subconsciously the choices or opinions of others, it's a subtle psychological manipulation and each side does it. And Yes I agree with your last statement whole heartedly, Have a great evening

[@raygunsforronnie847]

@@angelcastro3129 The validity of a poll is not based on how media presents it, but on mathematics. I think you're right about the psychological influence poll results can make, which is why in voting, the absentee, mail in, and early in-person votes are not tallied (or if they are, the results not released) until the voting precincts close. Enjoy!

[@LaurentGoderre]

How is the ad for Desantis not a parody!!

[@StellaJean1000]

Is it real? I would love to see the whole thing.

[@dark_natas_666]

Everyone needs to leave Twitter right away. I did, and I encourage everyone to do the same.

[@duanerutherford9033]

I'd leave, if I was silly enough to have joined in the first place. Never been. Never going to. Nobody cares either way.