A Word to Men Who Demean Their Wives

Ask Pastor John
Episode: 1449
Transcript: www.desiringgo...

[@jimmiepatrum]

I am blessed to have had a husband who honored, loved, and respected me for all of our nearly 54 years of marriage. Until the day he died, he did these things. Thank you God for giving him to me for most of my life and for the memories I have of him. I pray that the man in this video will realize his sins and come to know what a blessing that he and his wife can be to one another in the way Christ intended. Diane in NC.

[@starstraits3153]

Hi sis, you have been so blessed. God is forever good. Would you please pray for my marriage? It would mean so much. Thank you and may The Lord bless you abundantly with himself. Much love and grace and peace in Christ.

[@jimmiepatrum]

@@starstraits3153 Yes, I just prayed that God will bless you both with the knowledge that He wants you both to love, honor, and respect one another. I pray that your marriage will grow strong. God Bless You Both. Diane in NC

[@holyexperience1976]

@@starstraits3153 May your marriage be blessed and healed with the blood of Jesus and Holy fire right now! Satan, step away and mute yourself along with the demons in Christ Jesus name!

[@rubymorris44]

Good for you, so why the fuck are you commenting

[@jimmiepatrum]

@@rubymorris44 So sad that you have this angry attitude. I need to pray for you too. Diane

[@2nica2]

wow I never thought I’d hear a Pastor speak like this. Thank you Pastor John just Thank you. I wish everyone could hear this.

[@cameroncarlinsky7154]

That is so heart-breaking...he has certainly fallen into the trap of pride, self-sufficiency overt narcissism up to a point that he forgot the power of gentleness and servanthood. May God humble us and help realise our faults and repent from it.

[@framboise595]

@ CamTheMan How many women antagonise their husbands today ? Because they are too soft and too caring ? Women resent men who care too much for them . They disrespect them today because they have taken over , something that Piper and co cannot see because they are too blind .

[@lionofjudah4114]

Even if I have not spoken to hubby he will then be mean to me and like he is controlling and bullying me. So it is the man's fault. The man gets the blame from God anyway for the state of the marriage. He is meant to be the spiritual covering of his home not the mean hard harsh arrogant man that they become

[@ohnobo14]

I wish my 15 year old self had this drilled into my head by someone but I raised myself (poorly)

[@framboise595]

@@lionofjudah4114 Men never get the blame from God for the state of the marriage. Read the book of Proverbs. It is always women and wives who are at fault. Wives are meant to be submissive FIRST. In every marital instruction , the emphasis is put on the wife's submission. Marital unrest comes from wives. Not from husbands. Wives are also commanded to submit to men who don't obey the Lord 1 Peter 3 , so stop seeking poor excuses.

[@lovelyheart5905]

Thank you and praise God for you and this word. I can definitely relate to that woman I have been in very similar circumstances with my Husband of 20 years. No physical abuse but lots of emotional and psychological abuse and I’m so weary.

[@cathyhamlin3611]

Keep praying for him, and fast also I'm so sorry you have such a bad situation that you are bearing

[@mothersandy2022]

Many people and many men especially do not realize that verbal abuse emotional abuse is TRUE ABUSE just like physical abuse is.. The only difference is you don't see the invisible scars that women get with emotional and verbal abuse. Physical abuse gives you outward scars which we can easily recognize but inwardly the soul and the spirit of the person is wounded deeply . A wounded spirit and wounded soul is hard to rebuild because many are not aware it is even there.. So the woman walks around wounded for majority of her life, and continues to engage with men who repeats these offended behaviors again and again... God has not told us to stay in relationships that abuse us in anyway... honor and respect not shame deameaning with anger and aggresiveness.. james says let every person be quick to hear and slow to anger...amen...

[@framboise595]

@@mothersandy2022 Abuse is THE magic feminist mantra that modern females repeat over and over to justify their own sinful behaviour of rebellion against their own husbands supposed to provide for her and protect them. But modern women could not care less.

[@angelflower176]

Such an important topic, so many christian women silently screaming and suffering in abusive marriages or relationships:(. Spititual, verbal, emotional, physical, financial abuse makes God very mad and is pure evil, very wrong and sinful.

[@mcnoneya]

yes, not may churches or leaders will go there, its nice to see a pastor i admire talk about such a sticky situation

[@Contrarian-v7p]

But are women not made to be doormats to men? Submission and obedience always. That's kind of the what they were made for, it seems.

[@hemadepeacethroughtheblood5800]

@@Contrarian-v7p They were not made to be doormats. 💙🙏

[@mcnoneya]

Jade Lee I would suggest listening to the video again then reading Ephesians. From what I’ve heard and read it’s really about both coming together and loving each other and when you love each other you want to make the other happy. Ephesians 5, it says to “submit to each other in the fear of God” fear of God doesn’t mean literal fear in the original language it refers respect for God. Women are not to be doormats, we love our husbands and men should love and respect their wives, if you respect anyone you don’t treat them like servants and like they are subservient to you or inferior. You treat them like they are imports to you and you value them, and like they are equal to you. Some of some older married women described it to me like team, every team has a leader but each member of the team is important and has a role, but at the end of the day the team leader has the final word on the decisions. I assume that refers to like big life decisions. Have you ever heard of Deborah? She led an army in the Bible, she was not considered a sinner though she was a leader. Many would think well that’s a job for a man, yet God put her in that position.

[@hemadepeacethroughtheblood5800]

@@Contrarian-v7p Jesus though he was God, submitted himself to the Father. Yet the Father loved the Son. Never was there any thought of abuse or control. Submission has been twisted to that idea...but as Mary Clark pointed out, in the same chapter it tells women to submit to their husbands, it also says submit to ONE ANOTHER...which includes men and women submitting to one another. Where there is love, submission is not a painful thing. And where there is not love, God holds people accountable for what they do to those in their care. And the body of Christ (the church) is also supposed to hold those people accountable. Jesus washed the disciples feet...taking the place of a lowly servant, as an example of how leaders are to use their authority.

[@envisionelectronics]

I was so wrapped up in self loathing that I became selfish and hurtful to my wife. I readily accepted that I was wrong but I had no idea how to change until my dear wife left me. I believe I was a Christian and was sorry for my sin, sought repentance but was unable to crawl out of the hole I was in. I sought wisdom several times but never really allowed people to know what I was doing behind closed doors. It’s only been a couple years but God has graciously allowed me to see my sin and the effects of the abuse I unleashed on my family. It is devastating. I can’t go back but I can go forward with a renewed spirit and mind. I am thankful for my second chance to show my children what a father should be. They actually still love me and are unbelievably gracious to me. Their mom - not so much. But I am reaping what I have sown.

[@christianmama2441]

On another point, if your ex wife can't forgive you for what you did, she isn't Christian. A good indication of a Christian is forgiveness. We forgive as Christ has forgiven us, there are no sins too great for us that we cannot forgive, otherwise we deny our Lord.

[@cathyr1919]

@@christianmama2441 It does not mean she has not forgiven because she does not want to be married to this person. A person can forgive but still not want to continue in something not healthy and nor should she. No person should stay in any relationship that is unhealthy, abusive.

[@rianab5207]

You can go back. Ask for forgiveness. All can change when in Christ. It starts with repentance, restitution and reconciliation and restoration! God first reconcile us with Him. And then heals, restoring the broken and reconcile the relationships. That is what He does! That is why He died on a Cross. Took all that ugliness and sin on Him. Our hope lies in His resurrection! He completely restores and resurrects! Praise His holy name!

[@cathyr1919]

I have a very strong opinion on this because I have experienced this myself. I separated for two reasons the most important being we were not married and living in sin and was directed by the Holy Spirit to separate. I was so trapped in an abusive relationship that I didn't know how to make this happen. So I prayed and asked God to do it for me, that I wasn't strong enough on my own. And as always, God comes through. Three days later God provided an opportunity for me to be delivered and I took it, he was gone, for good. This is no easy feat, we have 2 children together and I relied on him for financial support and help with the kids. I was taking a huge leap of faith but I knew by being obedient and faithful God would take care of me and He did. Anything I needed or when I was struggling with money or help in any way, God sent that person or thing to me, literally. I just stayed focused on Him and stayed faithful. Now here i am a year later and am stable in all.ways. During this time I prayed for God to deliver my partner of his anger and other issues as well.as my own bitterness and resentment. It's not an easy road but I have forgiven and we are in the process of trying to move forward according to Gods ways. All things are possible through Christ our Lord and Savior. I would have never thought I could have done what I did this past year and i could not have unless our Lord helped me and took.care of me and my partner. Stay in prayer and strong in faith and His Word. He will move mountains for.those who love Him and seek Him with all their heart.

[@mcnoneya]

@@christianmama2441 do you extend grace to others? you SEEM quite self righteous in your replies. have you ever been in an emotionally abusive or even physically abusive relationship. my mother was, it took 20 years for her to forgive my father, but she did. it doesn't always happen right away, remember even christians make mistakes, sometimes more than once. this man i wish him the best and am glad he realized his mistake it can be hard to actually change even when you realize you've sinned. even the most faithful, sin... regularly. its apart of life, and we should seek to honor God and repent, but as longs we are stuck on this earth, sin will be apart of our lives.

[@brandinshaeffer8970]

When he said "a childish bully" i thought yes that is exactly what i am dealing with. The utter meanness- the cruel remarks - the complete lack of patience - it's painful and demoralizing until someone uses the term "childish bully"

[@ajmaynard7986]

The last straw for me and my "childish bully" (very well put, btw) is when he made me choose between himself and God. Was a no brainer. So much peace in life now....praise the Lord!

[@brandinshaeffer8970]

When i heard the term childish bully i immediately thought oh my goodness... that is my husband. He is mean and impatient and i have to hold my breath hoping he'll be happy with me that day. I'm sorry but i will not live this way any longer. I won't survive it.

[@nictipton1413]

Why childish bullying? Did you not do that to him too? Did you give him a "my way or the highway" sort of approach? Did you ever think you were such a bitch to his lifestyle that you would make him turn from god?

[@fabrianne20]

@@nictipton1413 you are disgusting

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

So Pussycat, what was the exact choice between your husband and God. Did he ask you to curse God?? Did he require you to murder?? Did he ask you to steal for him? Or did he just disagree with you? Is your own will really your god? Sounds like it. Did you pick a non-Christian to marry?

[@cathyhamlin3611]

@@brandinshaeffer8970 I suggest being apart from him, but don't divorce, God can work on hard hearts

[@CatfishHeaven777]

Let’s make this clear. Born again Christian men do NOT live in sin like this. They may act like this for a moment but the Holy Spirit will convict them and they will repent to God and to wife. As a born again Christian man, my utmost desire is to love my wife as Christ loves the church, and gave himself up for her. I desire to lead my wife to Christ. If I sin against her the Holy Spirit is quick to soften my heart, show me my sin, and cause me to repent. We who have been made alive can no longer live in sin or make a practice of it. This man has been living in it and making a practice of it. I see a lack of the Holy Spirit here.

[@LivingTrancefully]

Catfish Heaven - I also feel this way and have done so much for her. And when I try to teach her ANYTHING... she disregards everything good I just did for her... and everything good about me in general. She requires perfection and only focuses on the flaws.

[@CatfishHeaven777]

Jesus Loves You I would need to know much more to give any valuable input. I will ask these questions. Are you leading her in kindness and gentleness? Are you teaching her and proving your teachings to her by scripture? Do you put her first? And lastly what exactly is she rejecting? What are you teaching her that she is rejecting?

[@terryvest640]

You are a rare. Most tlusw the submission verse as a bat and DEMAND their way or else. It's sad.

[@terryvest640]

@@CatfishHeaven777 you know after my husband cheated, emotionally damaged me and my children and everything thing else he has done, he walked out 8 years ago. I have never dated or even thought about it. Reading your words hav ed increases my faith and hope that there are GOOD MEN in this world. Thanks you!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

You say you need more input but John Piper jumped straight to the wrong conclusion without asking the other party and clearly without actually reading the pertinent scriptures. You have no idea what the husband was doing "all these years" or what he really believes nor does Piper. You didn't ask him. You just"Believed All Women." that's pretty lame.

[@josevillanueva9705]

If there are any men out there (like myself) who have fallen into this, lets be prudent and take this to heart.

[@PouringitOut]

I struggle with this brother and I earnestly ask the LORD to change my heart and convict me to the point of sorrow because I see how I can be with my wife. I acknowledge my sin and just ask the Father to help me to love my wife as he loves her. I know this is a heart problem that only the holy spirit can change and I hate myself for my behavior when I mistreat my wife. It's a real struggle but I know that by surrendering my will to the holy spirit He can transform me.

[@framboise595]

@@PouringitOut LOL Are you too blind to see that what modern females caught up in pride call "abuse" is the fact thay they have to be submissive to their husbands in everything , that they have to submit to a man who does not even obey the word and win him over through THEIR conduct ? Ephesians 5:25 1 Peter 3 They HATE what the Bible teaches but they pose as Christians and poor helpless victims. THEY are the ones who struggle for power with their husbands , they are the ones who try to resist him even in BED (nothing could be more serious than that ) but it's ok , the modern church is full of pimps like Piper who cater to their wickedness and foolish rebellion. What they call demeaning is their submission. There is nothing more beautiful than a submissive wife because she mirrors the submission of God's people to him. They are as holy as the random pagan female you meet in the street or in the workplace. They are not holy. They are feminists in disguise. Serpents wrapped in a religious clothing.

[@virgoways2650]

I truly needed to hear this today. Loved the way you broke this down. I was searching for clarity and infinite spirit lead me right to it. Thank you💕

[@rizlav4407]

I left my narcissist husband,,,10 years of abuse..verbally,, it's juz year when i discovered he's an unbeliever, he's sweet sometimes, but mean to me most of the time...always angry, pushing me down rather than uplifting me whenever i commit mistake...they don't deserve someone with them..they won't change..never, so better leave

[@defpikaleon2063]

Same😢

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

So Riz, how on earth after 10 years did finally "discover" that your husband is not a Christian. Why did the most important qualification for a Christian's husband not get discussed at length BEFORE the wedding? So you think Peter's advice in I Peter 2:1-7 is trash? Did you try really reverencing your husband? It is very hard for a normal man (and narcissists are very rare ,) to stay mad at a woman who reveres him. Most guys like that. And that is what God told you to do. Eph 5:33. If you didn't do that YOU broke the marriafe vows and wrecked the marriage.

[@PotterSpurn1]

You discover your husband is not a believer when he turns out to be a narcissist. Narcissists can't submit to anyone, including God. They are God, they believe. They are entitled, consider themselves faultless and will never apologise for mistakes they make. The are the devils of this world. So they won't keep their vows either and will just go through the motions and lie through their back teeth. They honour and respect no-one and care nothing of the rules of society and of the church or the bible unless they can use them to their own advantage to prop up their selfish desires and aims. That is 'how on earth after 10 years did she finally discover her husband was not a Christian." He lied though his back teeth and put on an act.

[@framboise595]

@@PotterSpurn1 He was not a Christian she said . And what about HER who never practices the Bible in her life but just complains and does not submit and obey like a HOLY woman (1 Peter 3) ? She may be even worse .

[@angelflower176]

The thing is verbal/emotional and psychological abuse can sometimes be worse than physical abuse😔, im a qualified counsellor online ive seen the damage it causes.

[@leoandagnes1442]

True 😥

[@lucyramirez87]

Are you a Christian counselor?

[@amwil4980]

Agreed it has changed me in alot of ways It has caused alot of damage

[@lionofjudah4114]

Thank u pastor John. You have described my husband down to the tea. This is my husband. A bully. He is bullying me all the time trying to make himself be superior over me. I have told him many times thst he n I are equal in the eyes of God. He looks at me gone out as tho i dont know what I am talk in about. He never used to think this way but the church we attend seems to have this towsrd women. We all have to shut up and not be heard basically. My husband was not this way with me before marriage. He was fine and treated me fine. He got married then after a while of us still attending our church he now thinks he is superior over me and he is demanding I do something he tries to Control what I do. Or he will u dermine me and just be a bully. I am fed up of him sinning against God. I tell him he sins agaisnt God and to me. He don't listen tho. Why do men thik they are something else over the woman. This is the devil this is

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

The church you are now attending has it right if the Bible is the standard of right. Pastor John is a heretic. You are supposed to MAKE your husband your superior. Only you can do that. That is what submission means. It does not make you a lesser person in his eyes or God's eyes no more than obeying your parents did as a child or obeying an employer does now. Read Eph 5:22-6:9 and it becomes clear. You are the one in the wrong, which is good news since that gives you the power to fix the problem. Submit to your husband as your superior in position (not in essence). Revere him as God's representative in your family. Keep it up until he believes you mean it (fake it til you make it if need be) and watch his love for you flow. Peter says this is your best shot at happiness. I Peter3:1-7 Do you believe St. Peter or Johnny Piper who picks a peck of picl=kled puzzles and passes them off as truth. How is Piper's way working for you? Why don't you try the Bible way?

[@noellealdi881]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 dude you’re literally her husband but another man. Don’t you realize you’re sexist? Misogynistic? And a bully?

[@noellealdi881]

Woman, I’m so sorry about that….. that church sounds like a cult, don’t mind this man under your comment. He’s just like your husband

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@noellealdi881 And you missy, are a meddling witch and hellnound. All I did was quote scripture. That is not sexist, misogynistic or bullying. You however are a bully. If you hate God and despise the Bible, just admit it. You cannot be a feminist and also be a Christian. They teach opposite views. The Christian view of marriage worked well for almost 2000 years for both men and women. The 100 year feminist experiment has been a disaster for both. You hate men.

[@framboise595]

@lionofjudah4114 Wives , submit to your husband in everything Do you happen to read what is written ? YOU are at fault. Wives are always at fault for resisting their husbands. You want to control your husband. You wantr to usurp his authority.

[@yolipurpleflower9895]

Thank you, Pastor John 💟

[@wilmastaphorsius2592]

Dear pastor John,I have been married almost 44 years to thesame man,this year in may I broke for the second time my spine ,I also broke it in 2008,I have a verry low bloodpressure and that is the reason I fall so I must be verry carefull ,standing up.When my husband sees me in the morning, the first thing,he does is puts me verbaly down an starts saying nasty wordts to me I am in verry much pain,this times I have more pain than in 2008 ,I do not know why ,they think becouse the injury is higher( please forgive my grammar ,I am from The Netherlands).He does that also when there are other people in de room ,even our children,but than softly so that I cannot hear it.I met him a long time a go in church,but now I know it will not mean that it is also a Godly man.Our marriage is blessed in church when we married,yesterday evening I went upstairs and when I was in the halway, I heard myself thingking ,I wish I never met him and married another man,and straid away, I knew that I was wrong to think so. It started years a go, first slowly and now I cannot do annyting good in his eyes,I am in a lot of pain but he finds that I am not doeing enougf.And I asked God to forgive me I know I may not think like that.When we are visiting people he starts verbuly abuses me in the car driving home,I do not say annyting then, and when whe are home I go to bed right away.I always pray for him and I let him talk I never say annything back,becouse that makes him mad.I do not want a divorce,but I don't understand him I am not ugly or dociel verry creatif,have lovely children and grandchildren,and he does not want a divorce either.About 20 years a go I had a terrible back injury and needed a dangerus operation,and after that I couldt not sleep easy and was verry restless so I kept him out of his sleep so we have each our one bedroom.I never get a kis or a friendly word,to other people I talk verry proud over him he can makes verry beautiful things from wood,but the last time I get verry depressed,and I am longing that Jesus comes back.I must be verry gratefull to my husband when I get a cup of tea,becouse sometimes I can not move ,even I do the streches they learn me at the fisiotherapy.Now with the Corona nobody is coming,it is now verry strickt,my daughter is verry carefull becouse she is a teacher and my my son and his wife are working on a bank so they are working from home digitaly.So it is verry lonely here, but that I do not mind ,so long as they do not get sick.My husband is not fissicly abuising me ,he is not hitting me or someting.I still where my wedding ring,he says that his ring is getting too small, he can go to the jewelrer to strech it up but I do not ask him that.I feel lonely but that is not the worst thing,I only am worried wouldt God forgive me,that I not love him so much as we where youngh?I am depressed but I woudth not do someting nasty to myself,and I love the Lord verry much,we are living verry far from the church,and on the moment I cannot drive,my children are not believing so I have a lot to pray for, and to cry for I fall in sleep, my husband does not care on the moment about church and he will not talk about it with me.I now you have this sort of reactions a lot,can you give me a guidline,I have a tablet and that is the only thing that I can use now to have a litle contact with people now and that in fine ,also to listen to music,I am glad with that.So I found you on You Tube,and a few more other pastors,I now it takes a time to have no pain more from my back,it is getting winter and here in Holland ,I live in The North it can be verry cold,so walking outside is getting a bit less but I try I hope we getting not much ice, so it will not be so slippery.I thank you for your You Tube talks ,it gives me hope,and I read that a lot of people get that too!Sorry Pastor John that I wrothe so long,may God Bless You! Wilma.

[@christinesong1192]

This sounds horrible. Please get some help.

[@amwil4980]

God will avenge Put your trust in Jesus Ask him to help you God bless you

[@leticiakabz5635]

God isn’t angry with you, he loves you and what you’re going through is difficult and God looks at you with compassion, God doesn’t want you to suffer this way. You really need help/support, but the Holy Spirit is the best Counsellor you can have. God can heal you (physically, emotionally and in every way), God can also help your husband and marriage. Read God’s Word, declare His promises over yourself, over you home. Read verses that tell you what God thinks of you, how much He loves and values you so much. When people don’t see your value, it can hurt a lot, but when you know how God sees you, what humans think of you won’t matter as much. Pray, stay in God’s Word (the truth will set you free). The joy of the Lord is your strength. God will never fail you. Praying for you Wilma 🙏🏾

[@ashleyrichards4304]

This was such a blessing. I needed to hear this.

[@anahivargas1]

Thank you so so so much for this video John and above all Lord/Jesus Christ. I am not married yet and dont think I will be except if worthy will be part of their bride to christ since we are in the season of end days. I felt I needed this since I am belittled by not just females but males I may have been attracted to, or males that were attracted to me. VERY HELPFUL, video filled with truth/scripture. 😊

[@rickmathews4101]

The infection of sin’s nature is so great, yet it has the ability to get lost in the focus of its symptoms that causes pain, sorrow and regrets!

[@perfectpeace123]

All the men in my husband’s life encourage his sinful bad behavior and they are sinful wicked men too. He listens to these sinful men and is spiraling out of control.

[@gentilechristian220]

I wish men realise this. It’s too hurtful :'(

[@germaan1]

No better feeling than see your girl laughing of joy when she sees you. I can't understand how you could treat your wife like that

[@cameroncarlinsky7154]

Right?! This is heart breaking.😔

[@christianmama2441]

@@germaan1 It is called hardness of heart. Without the grace of God every single one of us would be hardened by sins. People like to think of the bad people like Judas Iscariot, Hitler, etc. to hold them as very bad examples, which they are.....let me say without God's mercy on us, we would all be monsters, such is the condition of mankind.

[@hemadepeacethroughtheblood5800]

@@germaan1 Bitterness....it destroys all of us if we give place to it.

[@framboise595]

@@germaan1 How is it that so many wives today are frontal and rebellious ? And how is it that the Bible always focus on a wife's conduct way more than a husband's conduct (Proverbs ) ? How is it that wifely submission is so evil that it can damage a whole empire (Esther 1) ?

[@researchtube9035]

That’s abuse. Period. Hiding behind the Bible to do it is deplorable. Husband’s, LOVE your wives as Christ loves the Church. Meaning, you’ll never love her enough to please God.

[@LivingTrancefully]

Jesus Is the only truth - Abuse goes both ways

[@LivingTrancefully]

Jesus Is the only truth - some women only care about themselves meanwhile a man takes great care of her and she continues to abuse

[@peterhansen2781]

@@LivingTrancefully That's not the topic though.....

[@cinnamon4you]

Abuse goes both ways, sometimes both couples are toxic, so sad.

[@christianmama2441]

The wife has a great opportunity to show unconditional love, to pray and to wait for the Lord to deliver her out of this situation. Let her be Christlike to her cruel husband, who knows maybe God will bring him to repentance or will further give witness to his damnation, either way her witness for Christ would be precious.

[@redskyalice2529]

Very enlightening. However, many times the problem lies with some elders of the church who fail to understand, especially when you present yourself in such a vulnerable fashion. Then if they do bring in the husband, often times, especially if he's highly "narcissistic", presents himself as charming and next thing, the two of them are having a laugh and you're deemed the guilty one. Well that's when I left, both that church and him!

[@stephenskayla2079]

Yes this is so true the narcissist is highly charming and most are highly intelligent in their career. It's better to have a good relationship with Jesus and leave others out of your life.

[@kokhotoms1620]

You are telling the truth, yes when egos are involved quite often at least what I have experienced is that anyone with a huge influencial ego will have you looking like the one that needs to grow up if there is a problem that needs to be solved between two individuals and the Church at times is no exception to this so yes I am so grateful that I know GOD and I am growing closer to GOD because the bible does say that the flesh is weak and that mankind will fail you and this I see quite often.

[@karen94558]

My marriage has gotten worse since I come to Christ. We would to go to church and lived in the world but since God got a hold of my heart and have been born again. I declare that Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior. That he comes first. It’s been worse ever since. My faith has grown stronger since then but I don’t know if I need to leave because my husband has no communication, silent and only talks to me to say what I’m doing wrong. I’ll been praying for him but I don’t know if he’s just staying with to hurt me.

[@ItsWorkingTogetherForMyGood]

You will pass this test precious one! Keep your eyes fixed on the One that saved you!

[@myothergem]

This sounds exactly like my husband. I almost dropped my phone, i thought you were reading my complaint. This is exactly the problem I have in my life with my so called husband. My spirit and soul feels depleted and body has just been getting one ailment after another. My stomach is often in knots and my ptsd triggered left and right. I been making my complaints to God about this man. He is storing up wrath for himself. Like some ppl are saying in the comment section, her husband is a false convert... that is exactly how i feel about mine.. sometimes i feel sorry for him, because he is so blinded but most of the time that he may be ending up going to hell and thinking he's well on his way to heaven but I have lovingly and honestly tried to counsel him and reprove him but thats when he gets very wicked and nasty towards me..i once was so gentle, said i want to live in harmony with him... he blew up.. locked me out of the room for days.. , im having to walk on egg shells, which has been making me resentful. I plead with God to forgive me for feeling resentment towards my husband. I pray to be a stronger christian to continue to fulfil my role.., but my husband has trained me to be afraid of him.. i am not the woman i was before i met him... funny, playful, spontaneous, energetic, motivated, cool, i am an empty shell now, who is living, just to stay in my daughters life, and avoid being thrown into the streets. Basically, living to please and serve the glorified husband. i mean the story here sounds just like mine cept my husband has also don a lot more besides what i am mentioning. because of him, i am desperate for Jesus to return.. before the man sends me to my death into the streets of spokane wa. Crime, corona, cold, moneyless, i have nothing. Husband also takes things away from le like car insurance and phone service and withholds affection etc.. as punishment for love him in a Godly way. Which is being truthful, helpful, and apologetic, forgiving etc..

[@thatguyconner1760]

Dont give up - It will be okay - God will make a way. We are here for you and domt be afraid to seek help. You're Loved. Praying for you and I wish I could do more to help you out.

[@sjbrai]

Sis this is abuse. You cannot stay married to this man

[@envisionelectronics]

You need to leave for your and your children’s safety. If he wants you badly enough - he will make a permanent change. Not just promises but a complete repentance. It might be too late and you will have to divorce if he does not repent.

[@m.d.d4250]

Narcissistic personality disorder. Therapy only makes it worse. He needs the new birth like John Piper said.

[@tanyarowan7182]

Remember GOD is your true provider not your husband. Your husband is just the vessel that HE is using. Seek the HIS wisdom. If HE says go then trust HIM to provide. Like Piper said we have authorities that GOD has put in place to help. If they can assist the unsaved how much more those who belong to JESUS.

[@starkwarden1253]

If I was mad at my wife I would lock myself outside Before I locked her out

[@terryvest640]

Because apparently you love your wife and are a good man. Hope she appreciates it because your view is a rare one.

[@framboise595]

@@terryvest640 How many times was GOD mad at his wife (Israel /Jersualem ) ? What did he do to her ? Treated her with kids gloves ?

[@stephenskayla2079]

The worst is when the husband says demeaning things in public. Things that are snide and lies. I would work my but off to work a fifty hour week, raising two toddlers, caring for elderly parents, a cook for my home and my parents as well, doing laundry and yes I was there for him every time he asked. He worked and was away from home sometimes a week at the time. Wouldn't wear his wedding band because he said his work didn't allow the metal on the ring. After ten years he finally got one that was not metal. It was too late for me. Imagine what I thought was going on while he was out of town working and not wearing a wedding band. My husband had the audacity to tell his entire family at a family reunion that I didn't make the bed in the morning. I finally stood up for myself and my reply was well I can't make the bed while you are still in the bed. I've been up for an hour cooking breakfast for everyone before school, packing kids lunches, going over homework once more. Knowing I had ten minutes to get one to school and one to daycare. I still had to get myself to work on time as well. His selfish behavior destroyed me. I don't know where the man I dated went but I'd like him back. Wives and mothers don't allow this behavior from the man you married and the father of your children. It will destroy you physically and mentally to the point you will look like a bad parent to your children. Run and I am saying run for your life.

[@kokhotoms1620]

Snide remarks and lies, that is what I am now getting from my spouse of 20+ years. I do not like him anymore and just like you I am now standing up for myself and with the fact that I am growing to dislike him more and more in turn I will eventually leave. I never stick around when I discover that I do not like a person or a group of people, it is so important to as you just said run for your life.

[@cleob9956]

Mutual “honor, honor, honor, not shame, shame, shame.”

[@deborahcollins1100]

Yes! I am married to a narcissist husband for 36 yrs! He is supposedly a “Christian” but after all these years of enduring his insults and ranting and raving I really have my doubts! A Godly man would not talk and treat his wife like he does. Our daughter who is an adult now paid for his behavior also.

[@tilakmadichettitheappdeveloper]

does he protect, provide, make you feel safe, not make you go to work ? ...... if yes, then shut up.

[@nathans8307]

@@tilakmadichettitheappdeveloper Ephesians 5. men are called to love their wives as themselves. constant degrading and setting a poor example for your children is not loving people as yourself.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@nathans8307 Asserting a husbands authority (which is all this woman complained about) is not demeaning. Jesus tells us what to do and asserts his authority over us. Is that demeaning?

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@Ava Khoshab What kind of a woman are you? Wives are supposed to show reverence (beyond respect) to their husbands. Eph 5:33 Few husbands will say an unkind word to a wife who is showing them reverence. Pretty hard to do for long. You might try it.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Deb, it is highly unlikely that your husband is a narcissist. That is extremely rare. Look it up. He would be uncapable of ever being nice to you or anyone else. Did you fully submit to him as God's leader and priest in your family. Did you reverence him as Eph 5:33 tells you to? It is pretty hard for a man to get angry and stay angry at a wife who is really revering him as God's representative. A Godly woman would never provoke her husband. You might try reverence for a while.

[@kmarie-4Him]

That was painful to even hear her story. Women verbally abused are more suicidal than even physically abused. And you nailed it...selfishness and entitlement are why they do this. Lundy Bancroft teaches a TREMENDOUS deal on the specifics in "Why Does He Do That?"

[@His_creation]

Thank you for clarifying the Word of God.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

No he totally twisted the Word of God into a pretzel.

[@His_creation]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 make your own comment not attached to mine. Thank you.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@His_creation Take a hike

[@elianaanola612]

@@His_creationThese men always get annoyed when they see women standing up to abuse. A lot of men these men are tyrants full of pride, they literally think they are gods. I'm just glad that not all men are like this, and some men actually follow their part in being loving, understanding, conciderate and honoring their wives. Not just preaching and worrying about the women's role more then their own role. I gurantee if men treated their wives exactly as they wanted to be treated it would be a different story.

[@lisaotruba8974]

My husband does saomething wrong then twists this around and blAMES ME!!!!!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Are you perhaps to blame? Or are you so bad in your own judgement that you picked a husband for all the wrong reasons? You have my sympathy if your parents sold you into slavery at the age of nine.

[@elianaanola612]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 You self-centered egoistic tyrant, all I see is your comments defending men and putting down women, I always see people talk about submission always but I never see anyone talk about the men's role in loving his wife as himself, being gentle with her, honoring her, being conciderate and understanding. You men who use the scriptures to abuse and control women are gonna seriously get your karma. You gentile worshiping your false christ, when you find out the truth about the Hebrew Israelites being the real Jews and the punishment coming to you gentiles your gonna seriously humble yourself. The Most High will make you be the one under authority and you will have to serve the real Jews which are the black Hebrew Israelites that was taken and slaved, then you'll how it feels to be oppressed. Shalom 💕

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@elianaanola612 LOL! So the racist crazy lady who wants to enslave everyone who doesn't have black skin wants to call me a tyrant for repeating what God teaches in the Holy Bible which she claims to believe -- That wives should obey their own husbands. This was part of most of the marriage vows for thousands of years until 50 or 60 years ago. This same looney tune claims to be an Israelite because she has sub-Saharan African Ancestry and some of her people were once slaves. Here's a news flash, Abraham was from Iraq not Africa and some of everybody's ancestors were once slaves including mine but that does not make me an Isreleite or Hebrew. I have been adopted into the tribes of Israel when I accepted the Semetic Jew Jesus of Nazareth as God, Lord and Savior but ethnically I am a gentile just like you are. Welcome to the gentile club, crazy sister.

[@Midnight_Lantern]

It's called gaslighting

[@user-cy3uw6hm5s]

Being locked out of your house is against the law, and she has the right to call the police for that abuse.

[@drearyan2246]

Story of my life. So sad and so scary. Heart breaking to know other Christian women are dealing with this..... Thankfully, all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to hi purposes

[@frankh.5378]

How about words to wives who treat believing husbands worse than straingers and revere other men in the church.

[@1.40am]

Britny Virginia the guy asked a question why do you say he is comparing abuse? Would you tell a woman in the same situation to write to Pastor John and go pray to God or would you give her advice!? Cant men be victims too?

[@Raymond7779]

Agreed. I do not understand why this pastor does not also address wives abusive towards their husbands

[@Raymond7779]

@Stephanie Pagini Had the person writing the letter been a man, likely the pastor would not have taken it seriously and ignored it. Enjoy your female privilege. People care far less if at all when a man is the victim. Pastors are not immune to this.

[@InvokingTexan]

@@Raymond7779 Here. Here. My cousin had a problem with his wife, and how she withheld sex from him. They are supposedly to at least have weekly intimacy, but she used it as a weapon against him. He never saw it as abuse, but she was abusing her privilege as a woman against her own husband. She wanted him to work near home, but his railroad work required to travel. Wherever the work was, he had to go there. She was upset over this fact, and did not budge for the longest time. That caused several problems where they lost their house, and nearly each other. He is no angel, and had his problems. My cousin would kick his wife's cat, but that was because the cat was hostile and scratched him repeatedly. Still no excuse, but is understandable. Abuse comes in many forms, and both sexes are susceptible to it.

[@Contrarian-v7p]

@@David-so2ue Your bad experience and crap taste in women do not make up the determining standard for this to be considered an actual issue lol. This oddly specific scenario is far less common than abuse.

[@shaynahall270]

It's so sad how prevalent this is. And the majority of the sermons preached are about how the wife needs to submit and obey in everything. They neglect to teach how the husband should love his wife the way Christ loves the church. The husbands seem to get away with it not living up to his part while bashing the wife over the head with her part. Wives put up with so much! I'm so grateful for the power of Grace to be longsuffering.

[@mb4635]

Exactly !This is why unfortunately the church has become a breeding ground for narcissistic behaviour, in particular with men. Because there’s too much teaching on submission for women and not enough one husband is loving their lives as Christ loved the church as you said. So a lot of men expect submission no matter how they treat their wives. Each time when a woman asked for counsel or help she will constantly be told to submit even when it is clear that the husband is in the wrong

[@araisininthesun5958]

I am in the same sad marriage. My husband longs for control over me...he wants so badly to have me crawl, jump and submit my very thoughts to his scrutiny. He believes that we are not worth being married unless he has 100 percent control over me. He says the Bible gives him that right, and I'm supposed to follow him not matter what kind of man he is. He has threatened divorce at least twice a years for all of the five years we are married. Now, a few days ago he brought divorce papers to me, unless I become the wife the Bible says I should be to him.

[@shaynahall270]

@@araisininthesun5958 I'm so sorry that you are going through this with your husband. Just know that you are not suffering alone. The only thing to do is to keep your heart free from bitterness and resentment while he's mistreating you. God will fight for you and all of us, if we hold our peace. Prayers for you and all other wives that are in the same situation. God is our very present help. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@araisininthesun5958]

@@shaynahall270 I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I will pray for all of the women and wives suffering. Yes, God is able to fix this for His daughters... We have to keep His love burning in our hearts and lives, and wait for Him. God is able! 🙏🏿💖🌻

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@mb4635 Horse hockey! The church quit teaching submission 40 years ago and that is when the problems started. If you don't want to be a Christian fine, but if you do, Submit to your husband. That is what the Bible and the Church taught since the beginning.

[@streamylc]

I really do wish John Piper would have mentioned at one point that all of this is technically hearsay. (i guess the title does in a sense, speaking to those guilty) I know "a guy" who grew up in a Christian home that often got EXTREMELY abusive, emotionally and physically..... he was used as a tool (being a child) as a means to justify and defend his mother, and paint her as nothing but a victim to counselors and police... Only problem is when he grew up he found out how the situation had been manipulated, and that the true culprit behind all this damage, pain, and hostility was his mother... and it happened with numerous spouses throughout his growing up.... and then eventually him as well.... (this is all being condensed massively, and only God will know the truth behind the pain and suffering that was lived through regarding it, and the scars that still remain) Only people physically involved will know the "absolute" truth behind these statements, and even then they still might not... but if this is all exactly as it is shared, then shame on the dude.... and ultimately rock on for Piper suggesting to get numerous people from a trusted church involved. Prayers for this woman, but I would also pray that eyes would be opened if it is like the childhood i vaguely mentioned above, and that "faults" are often vastly misunderstood. "Narcissist"...... used as nothing but a trigger word by many women today.... I've found nowadays that the people who most often use that word in a hostile manner are the actual narcissists in the situation... Sucks seeing the lack of balance and judgement so quickly unleashed in some of the comments here (both against and FOR the "husband in question").... props to Henry Odera and his extremely balanced, and emotionally controlled response. He sounds like a man than might have dealt directly with slander before in his life and be aware of the dangers behind it (and how often it comes/starts exactly like this) NOT saying these are lies and that this woman isn't in need of desperate help! I'm just saying that in my own "experience" that people don't openly admit when they're at fault.... they tend to cover it up by any means necessary, and get others to side with them. you know? the dangerous nature of choosing sides ;-P Praise be to Jesus.... Focusing on Him is the cure for all of this. Truly believing in Him is the only fix for any of this regardless of fault. This should be a huge wake-up call for men and women alike... Thank God for His mercy and grace.

[@InvokingTexan]

Indeed, it is a two way street. Often, such situations do not prop up out of the blue. Either the wife, or husband, provokes the other, despite warning from their spouse. Even childhood memories, and trauma play a role in one's adult outlook. It is sad. But visual objects, audio cues, or even passing physical similarities can trigger a person to go berserk. These are unresolved issues, and must be addressed for healing to occur.

[@PaperKitty99]

Church watkins A man locking out his wife is not a true man. It’s disgusting. No excuse. Period

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@PaperKitty99 What did SHE do to provoke that. If she was the agressor she deserves to be kicked out. This was clearly not unprovoked out of the blue because she had dinner late.

[@elianaanola612]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 If the roles was reversed and the wife locked her husband out because he was abusing his authority you would say that she is wrong and has to submit regardless whether or not he is abusing his role But now it's the man you say he has a right to do that, because she was the aggressor What happened to following the bible regardless of whether or not someone else I doing their role 1 Peter 3:7 reads “Husbands, in the same way be 👉🏾 considerate 👈🏾 as you live with your wives, and treat them with 👉🏾 respect 👈🏾 as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be 👉🏾 harsh👈🏾 with them.” Ephesians 5:25-29 - “Husbands, 👉🏾 love 👈🏾 your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as 👉🏾 their own bodies👈🏾. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,“ If men follow these rules then he's not allowed to 1. Oppress her 2. Ask her to do things in a disrespectful manner 3. Shout at her 4. Hit her 5. Treat are like a slave 6. Go around making decisions and rules without caring about her opinion and feelings 7. Treat her in a way he wouldn't want to be treated 8. Punish her by giving her the silent treatment, locking her outside, taking away her privileges etc Unless a man is following all these rules you shouldn't even preach about the women's role, how are you gonna worry and obsess over her role and you can't even do yours, these dumb ass men If marriage is one sided it won't work, if a husband follows his role and a wife follows her role then it will work. You men have turned submission into slavery. A man who loves his wife, protects her and wants the best for her, he wants to lead her in righteousness not become a freaking tryant. These men are selfish and do what they want without caring about their wife's opinion, how are you gonna have sacrificial love like the jesus you Christians preach about for your wife yet you don't care about her desires, wants and needs, but only what you want, you selfish tyrants If a wife wants a green curtain but the husband a blue some men say because he is in charge he gets it his way, I don't believe that's what your jesus would do If men treated their wives exactly how they would want to be treated I guarantee you it will be a different story You men picking and chossing I see 🙄 This isn't all men, just some men, I know there are righteous men out there who are loving and honor their wives and are not complete hypocrites.

[@eyotachenoa3132]

Totally a narcissist discription. 48 years, I lived there. But I am learning tools to help me shed the darts & the manipulation from the alcoholic bully. He is Christian but in bondage that he doesn't understand. I'm grateful it's not totally constant but it rears it's ugly head easily.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Please look up the definition of real nacissism. This is NOT it. All the guy did was ask his wife to recognize his God-given authority as her husband. Eph 5:22-33 she was the one rebelling against God's commands.

[@eyotachenoa3132]

@@johnbreitmeier3268, I do understand narcissism. It is that the husband should be the head of the household but when the man isn't cuz he puts everything on the wife, that's not Biblical. I learned about the subject not through this video but another with classes about it. My man is a bully about it, mean, demeaning, insulting & more. But by God's grace, lots of prayer & using the tools I've learned, he is getting closer to God, the author of marriage.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@eyotachenoa3132 Eyota, I am sorry you picked the wrong husband. I was referring to the man in the video who was not a narcissist. I would need a lot more information (like actually talking to him) but from what you described, your husband isn't a narcissist either. He just sounds like an common alcoholic. You say the bad behavior is when he is drinking which is not how narcissism works. Naciccists are 24, 7, 365. If this is a real problem then you need to seek help from a real professional in person, not some guy on the internet. I have watched some of those videos on narcissism and they are just wrong. Again your guy may well be a bully when he is drunk but you didn't mention physical violence so I assume there is none. So, two suggestions: 1) When he is drunk DO NOT CONFRONT HIM. Drunks are not logical or rational and reasoning with one is impossible. I grew up with a brother who was a drunk. When he is like that, avoid him as much as possible and if you cannot agree with him and go about your business without fighting. He cannot bully you if you won't play. If there is serious stuff to discuss, do it when he is sober. 2) You haven't said if he is a Christian, but if he is he is a very poor one, needing professional help that he probably will refuse to get. SO, I recommend following I Peter 3:1-7. Submit to his leadership. Reverence him as Eph 5:33 tells you. Treat him with deference and respect even if you feel he does not deserve it. In the military, this is called respecting the rank, not the man. You appointed him to that rank by marrying him and you owe it to God to submit to your husband. If you were in the army as a lieutenant with a bad captain , you would have to do your work and maybe his as well to keep the unit from being destroyed, but to keep order and honor you would still salute him and present the results for his approval and sign off -forcing him gently to be in the lead for the units sake. Be Radar O'Reiley from MASH. If you are thorough and submissive, it will be real hard even for a drunken bully to find fault. If you stroke his ego he will like it and be happier. Happy husband = Happier life. Try it you are doing most of it now without a smile and a yes dear. If that small addition brings peace, isn't worth it?

[@eyotachenoa3132]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 , ya really think we're going to analyze together? Enough!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@eyotachenoa3132 I offered you some advice. Ignore it at your peril. I see now why your husband drinks. Continue to have a crappy life. It is your choice.

[@sjg5994]

Glory to God!

[@zoraidamelendez8606]

I am one of the Christian woman 30 years

[@zoraidamelendez8606]

Help!! Pray for me, I’ve been wanting out of marriage lately

[@germaan1]

Eversince I was born again I have experienced such a mindblowing love from God that I am now totally incapable of not loving every human being that crosses my path, ESPECIALLY not loving my future wife (I am still single)

[@germaan1]

@@Ave-hf8xp and you too Rose

[@christianmama2441]

hawkie "I am now totally incapable of not loving every human being", I smile and pray for you...you don't know what Christ has prepared for your sanctification, good thing too because your ignorance is a type of protection from God for now.

[@germaan1]

@@christianmama2441 my ignorance?

[@lucyramirez87]

Just remember; marriage will test your faith and love

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@germaan1 Not all people are lovely. Jesus was not fond of false teachers and Pharisees like John Piper. Learn to be more discerning.

[@Gordiemaster]

Thank you

[@jesuschristbiblebiblestudy]

Men should not demean anybody. However: Worldwide, today in 2020, of ALL denominations who have ordained female pastors and elders, 80% also ordain homosexual pastors and elders, as well as perform same-sex 'marriages' ... "Error begets error" (Paul warned against this in his epistles). Amen

[@tinye3916]

This has nothing to do with marriage. I feel your statement would fit more if they were speaking on the role men have within the church. Understanding that the order is God, man, woman, children. This of course was taught in my church that women should not be over men which why a woman has never been ordained as a pastor. A missionary yes, but not a pastor. In a marriage, yes woman should respect men, but men should honor their wives. Treat your wife as Christ treat the church. What does that mean? Making her feel like she isn't a child of God but she should honor, and respect her husband as God, that's problematic.

[@K_i_t_t_y84]

So what you're saying, is that women deserve to be demeaned and put down because homosexual people exist and women have human rights? Do you have any idea how absolutely crazy and evil you sound right now?

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@K_i_t_t_y84 Uh, no. This woman was not being demeaned. Piper is an ass. If you listen even just to her side - the only one presented , what happened was she rejected his God -given authority in the family as the husband. Eph 5:22-33 and I Peter 3:1-7 She found God's ways demeaning and Piper agreed making him Satanic. She was in clear rebellion against God and her husband. All he did was tell her the biblical truth. If she was in submissiom to her husband and obeying him and reverencing him as God commanded her to do, why on earth would he be fighting her about that. That would indeed be one pretty twisted dude. But she was the one in the wrong and he was trying to correct her as Jesus corrects the Church. Doing so is how he shows he loves her according to Eph 5:22-33. Read it again. He is the perfect and instruct her, not bring her flowers to show ;love like Jesus does us.

[@K_i_t_t_y84]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 That argues that the authority he had, and therefor the authority many people act as though they believe all men have over all women, is unquestionable. As if, even people who don't believe in God have to bend to that belief. As if because some people think some men have authority over some womem, everyone should be treated this way without stopping to ask if they were okay with it? Because if it's "god given authority" you can't question it, and power you can't question is by default corrupt. Not everyone wants to live that way. Not everyone believes what you believe. Leave women alone. Live your life and let us live ours. God isn't real and I'm not going to let strangers control my life because of archaic superstitions.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@K_i_t_t_y84 Again no. You have come onto a Christian site to argue over Christian rules over which you have no authority. No one said they apply to you or all women. Your prbolem is that you obviously know of Jesus but have chosen to reject him. That is your choice and your right, but that choice has consequences. If Jesus is right and is God the creator of the universe who died for your sins, and you reject him you are going to burn in the Lake of Fire for all eternity of your own choosing. You cannot complain that you were not warned. You are being warned right now. If you reject Jesus what else you do is none of Christianity's concern. You are already condemned. Being a lousy wife is not going to measurably alrer your sentence but it may make you miserable here. IF you choose Jesus then following his commands comes with it and now you do have a dog in the fight. Right now you do not. Don't let the door hit you in the rump on the way out.

[@TT-ee1vv]

God's word says that a woman should be submissive to her husband not submissive to all men. Just like a husband's duty is to love his wife as he loves himself. These issues can be avoided if only we all read God's word and obey it. If only we can learn from Jesus and God's word on how to follow Him, treat eachother and represent Him here on earth. I find it so sad how we are too concerned on who we are superior to or better or more righteous or who God loves the most meanwhile people's souls are being lost. Marriage is a beautiful thing when both partners are willing to put God first and follow Him by obeying His word. Your spouse is not your enemy but your trusted partner who stands with you in different situations. Some people treat their friends better than their own wife/husband who is supposed to be the closest person to you after God. I think most people go into marriage without understanding what it means because according to society 'that is what everyone must do' or 'it must be done before a certain age so I will just marry whoever says what I want to hear, has money or seems nice' or 'I want to have kids by this age'. There is spiritual warfare going on the devil knows that a dedicated,prayerful and God fearing family will withstand his attacks so his favorite victims are married couples. The devil thrives on discord in homes, adultery, a partner abusing their spouse, etc. So he can easily lead not only the married couples astray/away from God but also their children and potential souls who could have been won to God's kingdom. It is easy to hate, forget God, God's word and talk down on someone. It is not so easy to love, give, be kind, forgive, pray and follow God's word but if we love God truly and are truly repentant we have to prove it by obeying God's word, show love to our spouses and others and speaking the truth. Love is proven, God prove that He loves us by sending Jesus. If we truly are Christians that we claim to be we need to prove it by our actions.

[@beattlesrockband]

Can you imagine them making a video “A word to women who demean their husbands”? The lack of calling out men and women’s sins equally in the modern church is astonishing.

[@Viper81766]

Amen

[@talina6516]

Why are you so angry? Isnt this topic important as well? Especially if someone asked him to do a video about it

[@talina6516]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWnMd4yLnbKWrtk

[@Viper81766]

@@talina6516 why are you angry ?

[@talina6516]

@@Viper81766 Because it makes me sad that people keep on comparing abuse, and you?

[@Sumtingwongbruh123]

yeeeh~ shed the light :) ; only way to heal? oh man... i really need healing too.. my mental health is bonk...

[@nanaagyekum3956]

I love love love John Piper and his ministry and I don’t even have the words to describe how God has used Pastor John’s ministry to help me in my own walk and for that I am eternally grateful. I am however a little conflicted about how this was handled. The man’s behavior as described is TRULY TRULY awful and serious measures should be taken to bring him to task and repentance . I have however seen too many situations where an issue happens between two people and one person goes to retell the story to others and important details are left out and the retold story ends up painting the other person in a worse light than is truly the case and makes the person retelling the story look like the innocent victim who did nothing. Not saying this is the case here and not justifying the man’s behavior as i have indicated above but i believe there is wisdom in waiting to hear both sides before passing judgment. I believe this is why the scriptures say to avoid condemning someone without witnesses or at least hearing the other side of the story (John 7:51, Deut 17:6, Deut 19:15) . At a minimum, I think a caveat that the other person’s side of the story also needs to be heard would have been more in line with the general spirit of the scriptures. Still love this ministry though and very grateful for this ministry.

[@PaperKitty99]

Nana Agyekum nope. The man locked her out. That is not a true man. Even if she’s a monster a real man just walks away ... before locking her out.

[@framboise595]

@@PaperKitty99 What if he wanted to humble her PRIDE and resist her like God resist the proud ? Does she sound like a holy woman who submits to her husband joyfully and quickly ? No she does not. She sounds like those modern females full of ugliness , self centered , useless and harmless. Why would a husband want his wife out of the bedroom ?

[@nicholasthedog5245]

I tried being with a guy I thought I loved but he was racist and evil and full of the Devil. I'm glad I'm single, never married, and no kids. ✝ Jesus Saves.

[@zenoie7775]

I'm an atheist and I also do witchcraft. I am so glad you have great values in your religion.

[@amwil4980]

Really think about what you believe Lean not on your own understanding

[@Carolyn_monroe]

I’m glad I'm not alone. ❤️

[@antoniocurryoldchannel9747]

Deeply alike so wonderfully different. I like that 😎

[@vedcon]

And you make mistake to listen and right away believe only to what the woman says and draw conclusions about him, the father. Can't you not see where these feminism controlled societies are heading? Families are broken, children from such "mother only" families learn no self discipline and fail then miserably in their lives, and fathers are standardly degraded to become just slave payers of alimony and the courts don't even allow them to see the kids. Just because the woman said he was 'abusive', did not respect her, and "beated the kids". When in fact, he as a christian father was just chastizing the kids when they did something bad and did not even use any "rod" just his own hand on the kids buttocks. The courts ignore that these kids were better behaving than other kids around, actually they falsely credit the mother for that, while in fact, she conveniently used this common "violence claim" to not only get all the abundant society's help for "abused women", free financial support, free legal advisors, lawyers etc. but even get away with the factual kidnapping of the poor manipulated and frightened children. She disappeared on Nov.12, 2018 with the kids when I was at work and moved secretly to her lover in different city with whom they were preparing this action for a long time. Yes, adultery of the mother, stealing of birth certificates, passports etc. is for these todays societies "all ok"(!), but proper raising of the children with physical punishment as God it intended to teach the kids discipline is "NOT OK"(!!). Such father/christian must be by all power of the courts and society punished! Even the Police is not allowed to tell me where exactly they live like if I would be some stalker or whatever which I would never do. Where I am not wanted I would not bother any more. So this Christian father is labeled by the society as 'violent criminal' "Gewalttäter" etc. while the woman is labeled as "victim" no matter that I never beated her and e.g. sewing of the socks for the kids I did(!) while she barely warmed the ready-cooked packaged food that I had to buy coz I didn't have time to cook. As the only breadwinner for the family with workday stretching from 5:30am to such late evening (3h commute every day) I had to do all the shopping as well, while my wife sit whole day by her pc watching movies, browsing facebook etc. Cleaning of the house, taking care of household were things which she did not do, I had to do it all. So now when my wife enjoys all the legal support of the society and her adulterous relationship I haven't seen my beloved children for over 16 months(!). And the female judge knows nothing better than to blame for supposed psychological problems of the kids that appeared after the manipulated kidnapping act guess whom - of course the Christian father! But absolutely no contact is allowed to see how the supposedly "abused" kids would react to the father. I believe the kids miss me same badly as I miss them. Probably the mother threatened them "Either me or Papa", they don't know how many times I tried to contact my wife per emails, begging her to come back for the kids' sake, even offering her any freedom to stay with her boyfriend if she doesn't want to come back yet, just the kids should have us BOTH(!!!) Not a single character of a response. Playing with time hoping the kids would eventually forget their real Papa. It's been over 16 months now, I cried sleepless nights after the shock in Nov.2018, crying to God every day Why Lord? Why me? The suicide I wanted that time is not urgent any more, the lonely life of an abandoned father is sad but I am used to it already somehow, and I am closer to God more than ever before. I pray for the poor kids and also for my wife who got betrayed by the Devil. I know for God is nothing impossible, even make alive what is dead already, but I am getting older and weaker. I am ready to face the ultimate Judge there above. May Lord have mercy on my wife, and take care of the fatherless poor kids. Nothing is more important for me than their Salvation which only God can make happen even when I will be gone already. So this is my story, still ongoing. Sorry Pastor John to bring this up as a reaction. I know hatred is not good, but even God does hate some things. And I do hate the current winning Feminism which I believe contributes to the self destruction of the societies and one sided information is not supported in the Bible either (2-3 witnesses).

[@DP-fg3dv]

Great discussion and lesson teaching. Next, please explore the topic of wives who do not respect their husband. Whether in the marital role/responsibility or as a human being. The belittling can go both ways in marriage.

[@augelar1586]

Lance Manyon absolutely agree

[@talina6516]

He already did, kind of. Here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWnMd4yLnbKWrtk

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@talina6516 Not even close. This is just more man bashing. John Piper takes verses aimed clearly at nasty women and twists it to again bash men and say why they have to put up with it.

[@henryodera5726]

There was a comment made during the video about man being present and silent as the woman was tempted which relies heavily on the phrase "with her" in Genesis 3:6. Though this is possible, I don't think it is certain, or even likely given what the rest of Scripture says. We see that when man is questioned about eating the fruit, he blames the woman, not the serpent, and he never mentions deception. The woman, however, does mention both the serpent and deception. In 1 Timothy 2:14, Paul says that it was the woman who was deceived, and not the man. Now, let's say that the man was aware of Eve's temptation as it was happening, but did nothing, despite not being deceived himself, and even went as far as eating the fruit. Wouldn't this be tantamount to a murder-suicide on his part? Because if he was not deceived, then intentionally eating the fruit while knowing what it was without believing the things that Eve believed due to Satan's deception would be suicidal on his part, and allowing Eve to eat the fruit would be murder. Yet there is nothing in the Bible that even hints at this being the case. However, if we take it that Adam was not aware of the deception, then everything, including his defence before God, makes sense. But someone may ask: "why was Adam punished for eating the fruit if he did not know what he was doing at the time?" It happens that the Bible has an answer for why Adam would have been liable for punishment even if he did not know what he was doing at the time, and I think this answer further stresses the importance of the sacrifice of Christ. The following is a snippet of the law concerning sins that are committed unintentionally which is found in Leviticus 4-5: "Or if a person swears, speaking thoughtlessly with his lips to do evil or to do good, whatever it is that a man may pronounce by an oath, and he is unaware of it-WHEN HE REALIZES IT, THEN HE SHALL BE GUILTY in any of these matters. And it shall be, when he is guilty in any of these matters, that he shall confess that he has sinned in that thing; and he shall bring his trespass offering to the Lord for his sin which he has committed, a female from the flock, a lamb or a kid of the goats as a sin offering. So the priest shall make atonement for him concerning his sin." Leviticus 5:4‭-‬6 NKJV So, as we see in the above passage, and Leviticus 4-5 as a whole, knowledge of sin is what makes one guilty, regardless of whether it comes before, during, or after the sin itself. Therefore when God asks Adam if he ate from the fruit, and he blames Eve, it shows that he is aware that he has committed a sin, only he doesn't think he should take the blame for it. He thinks the woman, and even God (for giving the woman to be with him), should be the ones to blame. This makes more sense if he was unaware of the deception, than if he was, because if he was aware, then it would make little to no sense for him to blame the woman if she was a co-conspirator with him. It would make more sense for him to blame the serpent as the mastermind just as Eve did. The sad thing is that I think this is what actually keeps both him and Eve from repentance, because in order to repent, you have to accept that the blame for your sin rests solely on you.

[@ruthaneke4694]

Preach!

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

He doesn't know how

[@elianaanola612]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 And you do?

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@elianaanola612 As a matter of fact I do. and am much better at it than John Piper. Piper is not a black Hebrew Israelite so why are you concerned, crazy one?

[@framboise595]

@ruthaneke4694 Yeah preach Satan ! Preach ! So that wives rule over their husbands and lead them to a dead bedroom ! Preach Satan !

[@jnsharrisjr]

Divorce him!

[@kengy1991]

So sad. I hope this hasn’t been going on the entire 30 years...

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Yes you would think by now it would have occurred to her to try to submit to her husband and stop rebelling against his God-given authority. She had the power to stop this anytime she chose to. All she had to do was reverence her husband as God told her to rather than vow for equal conrol like that idiot feminist John Piper told her too. Bad choice on her part, See Eph 5:22-33 and I Peter 3:1-7.

[@amwil4980]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 I definitely don't want control I just want to not be treated like piece of garbage BIG DIFFERENCE Shame on you

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@amwil4980 Shame on you, Am Wil for either 1) not submitting to your husband as you pledged to him and God that you would OR 2) on the unlikely chance that he is truly a monster, for not leaving and seeking help long before now. God gave you legs. You want the resources of a husband but not the obedience TO a husband. Again, shame on you.

[@briangarciahernandez7394]

the role of the wives in this scenario wasn't talked about. In this case, my sisters, u guys ought to b the example to ur husbands. Love them unconditionally. Whenever the husbands throw hatred at u, u ought to respond back with love. It takes two to tangle, but one to make peace. in this case, the husband is not the one making peace anytime soon, so YOU be the one. Also, PRAYER. Prayer is very important in times like this, where a miracle in the change of heart of the husband is needed. So wives, Pray for your husbands and Love them unconditionally.

[@myothergem]

Brian Garcia Hernandez lol the husbands are directed to love their wives unconditionally and walk with her in understanding. The bible mentions that men are to love their wives over and over, because we are the weaker vessel. The fact that you are telling the women to do the husbands role will make a man accountable for their belief and actions. Women easily respect and submit to a husband who is being loving.. when a man is harsh, which God instructs men not to be, then we easily follow. Men need to take the damn lead and stop burdening the wives with your roles and making excuses. Its not the mans job to make sure the wife is submissive. And wives are not instructed to blindly submit either

[@briangarciahernandez7394]

@@myothergem Hello Sister! I do agree with you in the role of men being to love their wife. However, I posted my earlier comment regarding a relationship in which a man does not fulfill this role. Husbands are, like u said, to love their wifes unconditionally. But in a scenario where they do not fulfill their role, the wife should not follow their path. In this case, the woman knows better than the man since the man seems to be blinded (in this case). So the Wife, should be an example to her husband, in the hope that Jesus will unblind the husbands eyes and sees that he has been failing in playing his role in their marriage. If the Husband is not loving, and the Wife knows better than that (like the sister in this video) then she should continue to show unconditional love to her husband, even though the Husband is not showing the same love to her. God will hold the husband accountable. In the meantime, the Wife should remain faithful to God and her Husband. If a Wife has a closer relationship with Christ, and ever finds herself in this kind of relationship, she should not fight evil for evil, but rather love for evil.

[@framboise595]

@@myothergem Yeah , feminist ! You go feminist ! Satan is pleased ! Men have to LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE their wives but wives do not have to SUBMIT . You go girl . Satan is very pleased of you . He is now tricking almost all Christian men with his unconditional love lie that of course never rebukes and never corrects if necessary. Satan has turned men into wimps . He has neutered Christian men ! There is a big party in hell now ! Now christian husbands are even afraid to have SEX with their own wives ! You go feminist ! You please your master.

[@ladymich-j2e]

why are wives always blamed for their husbands bad behaviour- if he’s rude,selfish or disrespectful then “ she must be disrespecting him” , this attitude makes men run from accountability and hinders them from seeing their sin and truly repenting. It goes all the way back to the garden when God asked Adam why he had done this and his reply was “ it was that woman you gave me” Men are as much responsible for their own sin and behaviour just as wives are for their own. 1Corinthians 13:5 states that love is not provoked

[@henryodera5726]

While I do believe that mistreatment of one's wife is against the teachings and commands of God, I would prefer having the full context before taking a side here, or giving a verdict, or giving direction. From the narrative that has been given, there are only two details mentioned i.e the statement by the husband that women are subservient to men, and the wife being locked out of the house and bedroom. There is no information about what happened/happens prior to the wife being locked out of the house or bedroom. Depending on the context, one could preach repentance to the husband, and forgiveness to the wife (if the wife did not do anything to warrant this action), or forgiveness to the husband, and repentance to the wife (if the wife did in fact aggravate the husband by committing a sin against him). Now, as for the husband telling his wife that women are subservient to men, context is once again called for. Subservient is a word that can be used in two major ways in reference to the relationship of a wife to her husband, one of which is biblical, and one of which is not. If subservient is taken to mean submissive in all things, then it is in fact biblical to say that a wife is subservient to her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1-6). If, however, subservient is taken to mean less important or significant, then that is in fact unbiblical to say that a wife is subservient to her husband (Galatians 3:28).

[@melissahaneline6544]

What 'aggravation' would warrant the husband locking the wife out of the bedroom or home? Please include verse 21 of the Ephesians 5 reference because that, as you say is important, sets the context for mutual submission. The word translated 'submit' in this passage doesn't make sense if the more military connotation is twisted in, since all believers submit to all other believers. It's about loyalty & sticking together. Asking how do we get through this, not is it worth staying together.

[@henryodera5726]

@@melissahaneline6544 I was not condoning the husband's behaviour. I think I made that clear in my first statement. However, before giving a verdict, both sides of the story have to be heard, preferably with more witnesses, especially if their accounts contradict. For example, if the wife had committed adultery, would you still think locking her out of the bedroom would be extreme? Or if she had intentionally endangered their child, would you think locking her out of the house would be extreme? This is why the Bible calls for at least two witnesses. Here, all we have is an accusation which may or may not be true or exaggerated. "One witness shall not rise against a man concerning any iniquity or any sin that he commits; by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established. If a false witness rises against any man to testify against him of wrongdoing, then both men in the controversy shall stand before the Lord, before the priests and the judges who serve in those days. And the judges shall make careful inquiry, and indeed, if the witness is a false witness, who has testified falsely against his brother, then you shall do to him as he thought to have done to his brother; so you shall put away the evil from among you." Deuteronomy 19:15‭-‬19 NKJV

[@melissahaneline6544]

Fair enough, but those are clear & demonstrable sins, not aggravations. The woman here indicated this is a regular practice, & I'm left wondering why she married this man! I would think a good first step is individual Christian counseling to figure that out. John assumes/hopes this wife's church will help her, but my experience is that they'll tell her to try harder: submit more, pray harder, be nice, etc. which is terrible advice in such marriages.

[@henryodera5726]

@@melissahaneline6544 There is a mutual submission among believers that is mentioned, but it is not to be applied as a context to all Scripture where the word "submit" is mentioned. I think if you read all the passages I mentioned, you'll see for yourself that this is the case. For example, you have Ephesians 5:22-24, in which Ephesians 5:21 cannot be used as a correct application: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22‭-‬24 NKJV We see in verse 24 that wives are supposed to be subject to their husbands as the Church is subject to Christ. This is further backed by the other passages I mentioned, especially 1 Corinthians 11:3. Christ is not subject to the Church as the Church is subject to Him. The Church is under Christ's authority, but Christ is not under the Church's authority.

[@henryodera5726]

@@melissahaneline6544 Yes, the woman did indicate that this is a regular occurrence, and if it is, it could point to a problem with the husband. But the key word is 'could'. We still don't know if this is the case, or why this is the case. Without any other testimony, we would be relying on the word of one person to convict another. This may not seem like a big deal in domestic disputes, but it is actually a very big deal. This man's reputation is on the line, to the point where many who hear this are already thinking of him as a narcissistic, potentially unsaved/unbelieving man, and all this without ever having met him, or heard from him or anyone else who knows him.

[@Utoobuser]

My comment from the abuse violence & trauma I had undergone for 30 years before I left : 1) My faith teaching was no divorce, in my case even when I was given green light to go, the local church leaders & many in the community later turned around & threw stones & even publicly wrecked my reputation, bullied & shamed me 2) Some priests believe women are the cause of all the problem & pointed to Eve in Eden 3) The injustices & partiality in my local church was such that the rich successful & powerful could get a divorce or annulment & remarriage more easily & quickly & still be accepted. No stones thrown against them. The victim of abuse & violence meanwhile are being bullied shamed & shunned, relationships cut off & marginalised 4) The abusive “husband” being tech & media savvy, very vengeful & deceitful, along with the woman he had affair with, almost convinced everyone of their innocence kindness & friendliness & wrecked my reputation & turned everyone against me & publicly bullied & shamed me. They prevented me from upskilling & work so I could be financially independent. They used witchcraft to boot me out of the family house which is legally mine while he took houses overseas under his name. He was so cunning manipulating & controlling he felt he could have affairs but I was not allowed to befriend anyone even after divorce & usef tech n media n string arm tactic to control me. 5) In lieu of dowry, he promised my mum he would support my Christian faith & our children to be brought up in the faith & he must not do anything to forbid that. Yet he broke that promise & turned the children against God & against me in every way, very subtlely, and clapped at this “good they against you & against God”. Now they defend his wrong doing while I have zero friends zero support from church & from my biological family who had been turned against me by X & that woman with money. 6) Ultimately it was family as well as cultural bondage. Like Healing of Families teaching, the bondage was so large no one could see it, like the ant in a large room or a large farm where u can’t see the fence. His family was animistic pagainstic while he’s proud of his atheism. There are many divorces & conflict in his side of the family & they indulge in divination spiritism, that woman as well. Our culture killed infant females centuries ago & personal family bondages became cultural bondages sanctioned by govt in how many child policy. I desire to forgive, commit to it & ask God for grace upon grace to do so. I want to move fw & be financially independent & live in peace. But he would not let go & went on a vengeance rampage against me. The whole city church & world know about my case. God help me

[@ItsWorkingTogetherForMyGood]

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble. PS 46

[@williams33able]

Heirs to the grace of life that your prayers rent hindered I've known these scriptures for a long time these are fairs I can point it out to you in the bible..the word of God in the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God.right and Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God correct and the word of God is quick powerful sharper than any 2 edged sword correct..And All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine for reproof for correction for I structions in righteousness that the man of God may be perfect thoroughly furnished u to all good works right..And study to show yourself approved u to God a workman that needs not be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth correct and I can keep going but Whatever..Heaven and earth shall pass away but my words shall never pass away right and the word of the lord endures forever...And his word is forever settled in heaven and all these verses Listen to the Lord king of kings lord of Lords alpha and Omega the first and the last the beginning and the end and he had a name dipped in blood his name is the word of God and he had eyes as flames of fire and out of his mouth went a sharp 2 edged sword etc everybody understands what the lord commands we are suppose to obey that but good topic..I guess

[@lorettalong6679]

My Husband tells me our house is his house he so abusive I had to Leave before he hurt me. My husband lock me out and I'm almost Homeless I'm living in a Terrible place with almost in My car.

[@ItsWorkingTogetherForMyGood]

What if he is the 'apostle' of the ministry and therefore above reproach? The situation for some Christian wives is so devastating. Only Jesus is our refuge.

[@777-93-j]

I just couldn’t take anymore of my Husband…He hates Me…

[@Ishmaelstene]

It is painful to hear stories like this really. My prayer is that as a man i will find such to be beyond inconceivable.

[@jancurcio5573]

This was an excellent exhortation, John Piper, but I would like to add that the reason many men in the Church demean their wives is because many church leaders demean the women in the church. For instance, in searching for a home church I attended an orientation of a reformed Baptist congregation. And while the pastor listed all of the pastors overseeing the various ministries in their sizable congregation, he mentioned the last of them, a woman who headed the children's church and Sunday school department, who had no "pastor" title before her name. So, I asked if this woman, who held this full time ministry in which she managed hundreds of children had been ordained. And, of course, the answer was no, and that they didn't believe women should be ordained! And they hold to this in spite of what Paul taught the Galatian believers in that there is neither male nor female in Christ. We are all the same at the foot of the Cross. And although women may serve in different roles than men, there is absolutely no reason to withhold the honor of ordination from them. Of course, I did not join that congregation.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Of course because you hate God and proper doctrine. The Galatians passage clearly does NOT mean what you think it does or the same Paul wouid not have refused to let women preach. Men and women are equal in essense and value before God but they are not equal in position either in the Family and or Church offices. You cannot use the general to overrule the specific. You are in rebellion against God not that church. Repent.

[@jancurcio5573]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 You clearly don't know Paul and you don't know me! And you are ignorant of the female apostles Paul mentions, such as Junia and Priscilla. Your tone tells me that you hate women and therefore their creator.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@jancurcio5573 I have known and worked with Paul for 50 years now. I don't know you and don't care to know an ignoramous. I know about Junia and Pricilla. What you don't know is that, at least in the sense they are referred to, an apostle (ambassador or one who is sent), is simply a job of work, not a title or an office of rank. Apostles then did not weild authority, they delivered messages. We silly humans made title of the term afterwards. Neither you nor ohn Piper know anything about Paul's teaching. ITim 2:12-14 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. “ I Cor 14:34 -35 "Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. f they wish to inquire about something, they are to ask their own husbands at home; for it is dishonorable for a woman to speak in the church." Refers to Genesis 3:16 "To the woman He said: "I will sharply increase your pain in childbirth; in pain you will bring forth children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."" I don't hate women, but we all have our place and a woman's place according to scripture which you despise and are willfully ignorant of, is NOT in leadership either in the family or the church. Your arguement is not with little old me. It is wiyh God and Paul. Are you saying you hate them because they hate women??? Hmmm? I don't think you have ever met either one of them Have a crappy Day.

[@jancurcio5573]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 Yes, I know that apostleship is a matter of a job and not a title, a missionary, emissary, and such, and I am glad that you admit that Junia and Priscilla were such. But your tone is demeaning, and your language insulting, certainly not fitting a Christian man, apparently an old man, an old and arrogant man who thinks he knows it all.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@jancurcio5573 Jan, what a marvelous case of projection from an angry, ugly, know it all, old, feminist woman. You call following God's clear instructions "demeaning". No one could demean you - you have already demeaned yourself. Again you are fighting with God, not me. I am not your husband, thank God. Have a crappy day like you always do.

[@framboise595]

"sobber clearforward clear words" Yeah of course not one word to call the wife out . No way.

[@msprettykawaii950]

My husband does the same only in different way. I fount out he has narcissistic personality disoreder

[@lucyramirez87]

Is that even a professional category? Just asking.

[@fabrianne20]

@@lucyramirez87 it is. It’s a personality disorder. My ex husband had it too, it’s literally like dealing with a persistent, controlling, demon that never gives up. It’s hell on earth.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@fabrianne20 Yes it is extremely rare. Lucky you if it is true which it probably isn't. And just because a pyschologist says so does not make it true.

[@fabrianne20]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 you’re negative about a lot, ‘let’s not believe or trust anything that’s different to anything I believe or want to believe’

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@fabrianne20 I am always negative about lies. Was your Husband diagnosed as narcissist by a reputable psychiatrist or psychologist or did you just do the dianosis based on the internet. Real Narcicissm is very rare. Have a pleasant life.

[@justinmayfield6579]

Thankful for Pastor John and for addressing this topic. Navigating the responsibilities of godly manhood is difficult and truth is needed to do so. Overall, good general advice from John using the question as a hypothetical situation, but I don’t think specific advice should have been given to this woman or assumptions should have been made about the husband (without qualifiers like, “based on her account,” etc.). This could be very damaging to their lives as John issues advice as an outside authority who doesn’t have intimate knowledge of the situation. The reality in situations like this is that more often than not, the other person is being sinful too and authoritative proclamations like this can be used by that party to cause further strife in the future. Perhaps his advice for the elders to be involved could help judiciously fill that gap of on-the-ground help, however.

[@perfectpeace123]

Men call women fish which is so offensive.

[@AP-Design]

Servant leadership is the idea here. The first step in Christian husband role is not to lead, but to submit to Christ. That is why a man who has yet to walk in this will also misapply his leadership.

[@InvokingTexan]

Yes. The man is the head of the house, and is in charge. He leads by submitting to Christ, so the wife can see and submit onto him. They are all in it together.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@InvokingTexan And what in all this states or even applies that he is not submitted to God? What his wife conplains about is his proper instruction of her which he is doing in submission to God. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

[@eeeehale]

How can 14,000 people watch this and it receive only around 600 likes?

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

Because it is dead wrong. Thsi is the opposite of what the Bible teaches. The woman was being rebellious to her husband and demeaning his God-given authority.

[@eeeehale]

@@johnbreitmeier3268 I'm sad to say it seems by your comment you have missed the fullness of the point of Mr. Piper's response. Furthermore, you seem to have missed the two sided challenge (command) in the Bible to BOTH the wife AND the husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33) Any time love is not at the center of a human interaction of any type, the one who does not act in love may be in danger of defying God's will for that relationship. (See Matthew 22:39) A man lording over his wife is not being loving.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@eeeehale No, I fully understood the emptiness of Pied Piper's braying, Of Course there is a two sided command to both Husband and Wife in Eph 5:22-33. The wife is to submit AS TO GOD. The husband is to love his wife as Jesus loves the church by continuing her spiritual instruction (which this husband was trying to do) and to love her as he loves himself. There is NO evidence presented that he did not do this. You say the husband was "lording over" his wife. There are 4 problems with that misstatement: 1) All you know is what a rebellious, emotional wife told you. You were not there and have NOT heard the husbands side. 2) Her side shows she WAS rebellious and hates God's command to submit and has not submitted at all. 3) Her husband IS her "Lord" and master. That is what the passage means. You just don't like it either. 4) Which is why the husband was instructing her in submission. He should not have had to. That should have happened in Sunday school and church and premaritial counseling. It didn't, so he was instructing as he was ordered to do.

[@HearGodsWord]

All too common mistake. Would guess this husband isn't a Christian.

[@HearGodsWord]

I expect some do to some degree, as can Christian wives. Just reflecting on what the wife has said which suggests he is a non-believer.

[@AP-Design]

Hear God's Word: That's right. Christian men (men with an active relationship with Jesus), I find, tend to take their marriage role seriously and with humility on a consistent basis. But men who merely profess Christianity often walk in ways that are not all that different from worldly behavior.

[@CatfishHeaven777]

A. Wrong. Fake Christians do

[@HearGodsWord]

@@AP-Design I'd definitely agree as someone who wasn't a Christian when they met their wife.

[@CatfishHeaven777]

AP Amen!

[@alexanderriosjr558]

Guilty husband. Think I’m superior to my wife. We fight sometimes and I’m confused if we’re both at fault or it’s just one of her. I may be the problem. When we’re good we’re great but when we’re bad we want nothing to do with one another for the moment. Pride makes me never want to make things right again with her.

[@lilyanm-g3386]

Repent and ask the Lord to help you. If God has forgiven you, how can you not forgive her and make things right. God can get rid of that mean spirit in both of you and bring joy and peace in your home.

[@mr.c2485]

Who is this video made for and why? It does nothing to change the heart and mind.

[@katie_by_grace]

He locks her out of the house ( among other things)....?... Leave.

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Paul gave permission. Women submit themselves to their husbands. Men take that seriously. I Know!

[@HearGodsWord]

Paul also said "husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Men take this seriously too.

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Hear God's Word The men I knew thought that whatever they Did Was loving Christ..including demeaning me. The men I knew followed the many rules of religion and when I would remind them of Jesus commandments they hated me. People Hate you if you Follow Jesus in Matthew 5 6 7.

[@InvokingTexan]

@@kathleenwharton2139 How did they demean you, Kathleen? In what ways?

[@kathleenwharton2139]

InvokingTexan They tell me I am wicked and going to Hell..if I do not believe just as they do. And that I am to obey them..they are the titled men.

[@HearGodsWord]

Well that's just your experience kathleen and we know you were in a mormon church. I wouldn't therefore condemn every man and tarnish them all with the same brush.

[@williams33able]

You don't want God to reject your prayers..but what do I know..Y'all have more than I have God must hear y'all prayers even though y'all reject the word of God lie and all kinds of stuff there's no obedience to commandments and submitting to God from people..They need to repent those are facts but the hypocrites have more than person that truly deserves a blessing from the Lord those are facts in the world period...Those are facts..

[@JonathanGrandt]

“Don’t be an ass”

[@gabriellesmith5661]

You skipped the true story of creation that comes first, the creation of all of us (our souls) in OUR image(the Jewish god is male and female which genesis is book 1 of the Jewish bible) all of our souls existed in a moment in the minds eye of god. Equality is what I see in us being gods children, male and female.

[@peggyself4012]

God didn't create a women to mentally physically or emotionally abused by thier spouse and divorce is ok when you been abused i been through it for many years my story i was in active meth addiction i hated him and myself until i missed Easter with my kids 2 years ago my son came to my rescue i made him a promise to leave i got clean and left and refuse to look bk yes forgiveness has to happen in order to heal but what most don't understand when u been through trauma it takes a while to heal things trigger that and God helps with it but it's still there at times the dreams the memories of my children being hurt we have come so far God is what gives us strength to go on! Move ahead and noone has the right to tell us we have to let him bk in our lives i get tired of hearing about they need both parents when one refuses to change thier abusive ways and manipulation and being arrogant unless they get what they want no more never again will he torment us and hurt us i pray he changes for his daughter but if he doesn't she's better off without seeing or believing that treating another human being that way is ok because it's a pattern we fall into when we let it continue they grow up believing that it's supposed to be that way!

[@peggyself4012]

Thank you for your prayers its been a long hard road but God is our strength

[@framboise595]

@ peggy self Oh those poor female victims who just love themselves and deprive children of their fathers with the consent of God of course . God is all for women STEALING children from their fathers . He is all for women being unsubmissive .

[@framboise595]

@somethingabout pomegranates Oh those poor females who never do wrong. There will be many Jezebels in hell ... God has been exluded from those feminist churches where men are hated like never before .

[@peggyself4012]

Noone knows what someone goes through and being abused is not ok if it's a man or woman being abused absolutely no excuse for it. That being said with your remarks thier I have forgiven my kids father and do not keep her from him but i will teach my daughter that weather she is in a relationship with male or female to never let anyone hurt her it's not ok so your response was very arrogant and assholish thier before you know the whole story men and women get abused and some can't forgive thier abuser for me I have chosen to forgive him and let my daughter see him but i will not be disrepected by him in front of her. What are we teaching them if we are saying that they have to put up with being hit choked or kicked on it's not ok there buddy get your facts straight it's not ok to keep kids from there other parent unless they are in harms way she no longer sees that and we now get along and i did it for her. I won't let her think any type of abuse is ok someone has to be a voice for those who face abuse and believe they have to keep putting up with it

[@nicholasthedog5245]

Marriage is just lust and sex. Until you get bored.

[@googIesux]

Gonna resurrect this old comment, but here goes: God hates lust. And sex shouldn't be a "just" ...and also shouldn't only refer to a single form or act. I _do_ think most marriages _are_ just lust and trying to "get off" until they get bored, but that's barely worth mentioning compared to what God made when he made us individuals with intimate aspects to our being. If you fill your eyes with brokeness, you don't just become bitter, but you can also trample on the good things God did make and does create, in you and in others, like a devoted and selfless, intimate love~~ a love that really does reflect His love for us, since we were made in His image. Marriage isn't our ultimate purpose, so the way people obsess isn't beautiful. And marriage isn't beautiful as defined by sinful beings, but as God defines it, it's... actually a lot greater, and varies a lot more from caricatures, because people vary. A life is a mysterious and sacred gift from God; every day is a gift and who can tell where God might lead someone who trusts? Two lives stuck together is... well... read what God has to say about us and about intimacy. Really marriage is another expression of His. It's about Him

[@DillonColtMusic]

Now how about you make a video about wives who treat their husbands horribly. Women are horrible too.

[@JTomas96]

Do not men suffer?

[@JTomas96]

@@nicholasthedog5245 Men should not demean anybody. However: Worldwide, today in 2020, of ALL denominations who have ordained female pastors and elders, 80% also ordain homosexual pastors and elders, as well as perform same-sex 'marriages' ... "Error begets error" (Paul warned against this in his epistles). Amen

[@hemadepeacethroughtheblood5800]

@@nicholasthedog5245 Now *you* are being abusive.

[@framboise595]

@ J T Men today are under assault maybe like never before but Piper and so many others cannot see it . They are too blind or they close their eyes on purpose. The Bible never focuses on husbands but on wives's behaviour . But the truth is not told anymore . It is all about emotional stuff to please women and not offend their little ego. I see no such thing in the Bible ever.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

@@JTomas96 The man in this video did not demean anyone. Listen to her complaint again. He was clearly doing his best to "love his wife as Jesus loves the Church" by instructing her is proper biblical doctrine. This is not demeaning. Read Eph 5:22-33

[@kingdavid2012]

Definitely not a Christian man😟

[@blaby4ever]

To man, ones action's display his faith, but justification outrightly is from God and righteousness is imputed to man. (Rom 5:1) (James 2: 14-23). You do not know the whole story. This man is "definitely" someone we do not know.

[@kingdavid2012]

@@blaby4ever not here for a debate. But i hope you know a man after Gods heart and who loves the King does not act like this in the slightest way. When i say Christian man i mean a real Christian man not the lukewarm casual Christians you see of the world. Is why i made this statement, i thought all of us watching these videos were on another level😕

[@blaby4ever]

@@kingdavid2012 would you then ascribe King David a christian man? He is someone who was after God's own heart yet the bible also displays him at his worse. Would someone be of the title as a christian man and at the same time, commit adultry and indirectly murder someone in an attempt to cover up his sin? Is it enough to reject one as a christian man with only the evidence of his own sin without taking into account the good he has done for God's glory? Or is it man who decides whom is christian and not God?

[@kingdavid2012]

@@blaby4ever sorry for saying a scripture related to King David. I understand what your saying but understand what im saying......follow Christ teachings. And yes a Christian man is to follow after Christ. And im not going to argue my point, my point is simple......a man in a marriage is to follow after Christ and his love towards one another and men that truly follow him dont act like this. So my point still stands.

[@blaby4ever]

@@kingdavid2012 Your point, or shall I say, accusation, can not stand and is insufficient. You do not know enough about this couple's life to make such an accusation. Since David, as a man after God's own heart went through a dark season, The imputed righteousness of God was not forfeit in David's life, rather, God's mercy and glory increased all the more. In the same way, what must one do to lose their God granted salvation? We do not know the whole story of this man and to make this accusation undermine's the sovereignty of God. wherein that one's status as a child of God is dictated by God but is given to the hands of sinful men.

[@amnahaque9058]

Sadly , such videos are only watched by women.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

It is indeed sad that anyone watches such lies. This woman was in clear rebellion against the husband God told her to submit to and then is shocked that he tries to biblically instruct her.

[@charloterobinson7612]

Biblically instruct her?? He is a childish bully! Locking her out is biblical instruction??😂😂😂😂

[@Carolyn_monroe]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@samuelcantley5500]

My dad beat my mother and us kids and take us to church i grow up in the of hell. The pain dose not go in my body from my dad that beat me how come that is okay with the church

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

This man did no such thing or she would have mentioned that instead of complaining that he would not mke her co-leader as feminism demands.

[@susan.b8788]

If women are meaningless why did Jesus die for us? Why did he love his mother? Why did he protect and forgive the prositute? Women are not low in gods eyes. This husband has issues!

[@The1creativesoul]

My christian husband continues to flirt with other women. He flirts with demons apologizes and continues over and over again. i have a calling on my life and i want to serve the Lord but my husband said he does not want me to leave him behind. He continues to lie and i can't trust him. What now???

[@InfinitEternaLovEmmanuel]

The behavior of this husband is far more than just "demeaning"--it's outright abuse! His sin should be named for what it really is in the video's title...

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

There is no evidence of abuse by the husband here at all. All you have to work with is the wife's story and it condemns her not him. What she describes is him trying desparately to instruct her in sound Christian Biblical doctrine on marriage, something John Piper knows nothing about. Piper's interpretation of the Genesis creation story is backwards and Satanic. The husband was not demeaning her. He was expainig theoir relative postions in the marriage which she deliberately mangled a bit. If she was not in rebellion and was submitted to her husband properly, this lesson would not be needed. By iinstructing her he was following Eph 5:22-33 by loving her enough to correct her as Jesus loves the church and corrects us.

[@graceanneful]

Abuse God does not condone., it’s even likely your husband is not spirit filled and not really saved. It’s allot to separate and divorced

[@PandaCheeks]

Yes but unfortunately divorce is frowned upon by God...

[@melissahaneline6544]

Separation for a time with the goal of redeeming the offending spouse is not frowned upon by God though, & churches should be better equipped to help victimized spouses exercise this loving step.

[@xaviersonofgod4464]

@@PandaCheeks there is ALSO a biblical means of being remarried! 1 corinthians 7:15 leaves room for remarriage. Not much, but it is there.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

There is no abuse by the husband in evidence here even if we accept only the wifes biased account. What she relates is a proper husband instructing his lawful wife in their respective positions in the marriage according to God. Doing this is exactly the way God tells him to love his wife in Eph 5: 25-27 "25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.'

[@born2win259]

One thing is for sure, that is not a the spirit of God in that man. The Bible says to LOVE your wife like Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER. HE Who LOVES his wife LOVES himself. Unbelievable, I will pray for you and your husband.

[@johnbreitmeier3268]

But you are wrong because men like Piper have lied to you about HOW Jesus loves us. He sure doesn't bring us candy and flowers. He corrects us see Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. This man is doing exactly that according to his wife and that is what she is mad about. Now he may not be as polished about it as Jesus is but then Jesus is God and this poor guy is not. Try walking in his shoes with thw rebellious witch he is married to. Not for me brother. i lived that.

[@commonsensei8423]

I am sure they would benefit from couples' counseling more than a podcast. There is a lot of psychoanalyzing this husband based on one-sided reporting (and little of that). With real counseling, the roots of their shared troubles could be explored, including the relevant, if uncomfortable, question of what she is doing to make him act that way. In the end, she chose to marry him, and just as he is called to love and honor her, submission to him is a duty whether she likes his behavior or not and whether he is a narcissist or not. Maybe this is all on the husband, but short of getting him help there isn't much to be done; it must be that God gave her this burden for a reason, even though we cannot know why.

[@ItsWorkingTogetherForMyGood]

Interesting viewpoint. God alone is our refuge.

[@davidwomack1678]

Aren't you quick to condemn. I would like to hear his side of the story. Passing judgment on a man with only his wife's side of the story is a sin. The church has turned against men just like society. Watch out for this man of God and others like him.

[@Raymond7779]

Agreed. I do not know of any men truly abusive towards their wives. I do know of a few wives abusive towards their husbands - thanks to femi nism

[@loverofjesus4856]

All you men are in extreme denial. It’s disgusting. Just take accountability.

[@Raymond7779]

@@loverofjesus4856 Thank you for being honest about your biases. In 101 different ways, men are ignored, even belittled, and disadvantaged. Femi nism is largely to blame. Sure, the man in the letter does not sound like a God fearing Christian. But women get away with so much bad behavior. For example, women file 70%÷ of all divorces, and get 90% of the alimony and support payments. Families are destroyed and children suffer just so the lady can "find herself", and women are not taking any responsibity for this.

[@LivingTrancefully]

Lover of Jesus - and you are a narcissist

[@LivingTrancefully]

Lover of Jesus - you clearly hate all men. I can tell

[@AtamMardes]

The Bible demeans woman: 1 Timothy 2:12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.

[@InvokingTexan]

Because she was deceived by the serpent in the garden, and should not exercise spiritual authority over men. Men can be deceived, but women are by orders of magnitude easier to deceive. Give a plain looking woman enough attention, and you can get into her pants by the end of the day. A few empty promises, some sweet nothings about love, and you have a deprived girl in your hands. Your point is mute.

[@HearGodsWord]

Just goes to show how silly people look when they quote a Bible text with no context.

[@AtamMardes]

@@HearGodsWord Your context is useless.

[@HearGodsWord]

Then you don't even understand the meaning of the word. Such a childish response!

[@AtamMardes]

@@HearGodsWord Childish?? LOL. You believe in stuff like: Talking snake/donkey, demon pigs, 900 yrs old man, virgin birth, walking on water, resurrection, flying chariots of fire, Noah's Ark, curses, and levitation into clouds, yet you think I am being childish. LOL

[@carmenguevara3186]

Nowhere in the Bible it is stated that we have to endure abuse from our husbands. Find help inmediately or run for your life. Please!!!!!

[@InvokingTexan]

Of course, but God hates divorce. Temporary separation is advisable, in physically abusive situations, but we are to be better than the unbeliever. The atheist, agnostic, and pagan alike treat the institute of marriage so flippantly. They invoke no fault divorce over the silliest things like sexual dissatisfaction, wanting someone else they committed adultery with, wanting to abort an unborn child, or politically ideology. Abuse in a marriage, and should be taken seriously. Both the man, and woman need to be reconciled with one another. Repentance, and forgiveness are to be the goals. If all else fails, then... unfortunately, divorce is a last resort.

[@LivingTrancefully]

Carmen Guevara - Bible says only adultery can separate man and wife

[@carmenguevara3186]

@@LivingTrancefully Nope. And this is exactly the problem. We are fallen creatures and there are some circumstances which require the end of the marriage. Physical abuse is one of them.

[@christianmama2441]

People like you would tell Christ not to go to the cross because after all Christ was sinless and He didn't deserve to be abused in that way by sinful people. Let me guess, she deserves better, but that misses the entire point of being a Christian. Christians are not their own but belong body and soul to the Lord, and they are here on earth to suffer for His name's sake. This type of woman should be praying and asking God to deliver her out of the situation. Far, far from running away from her life, she should patiently wait on the Lord and walk by faith awaiting her deliverance. We are to walk by faith, not by sight and we are definitely not to deliver ourselves from what God has assigned to us in His wisdom.

[@carmenguevara3186]

@@christianmama2441 I am beyond words about the implications and the absurdity of your first statement. Christ, our fully God and fully human savior was the perfect lamb, predestined to carry the weight of our sins so that we could be reconciled with our Creator. We women - and men- are sinful creatures whom are NEVER supposed to withstand abuse for the salvation of anyone. Broken noses, ribs, teeth and femurs are only the fastest path to the tomb. People like you are the ones who push women to stay in an abusive marriage. That is incredibly dangerous, against the law, and even extrabiblical.

[@AtamMardes]

The Bible demeans woman: Exodus 21:7 If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do.

[@InvokingTexan]

And you think the pagans, or atheists of that time did any better? HA. HA. HA. HA. You lack context, and here is some commentary from Adam Clarke on StudyLight.org: "This the Jews allowed no man to do but in extreme distress - when he had no goods, either movable or immovable left, even to the clothes on his back; and he had this permission only while she was unmarriageable. It may appear at first view strange that such a law should have been given; but let it be remembered, that this servitude could extend, at the utmost, only to six years; and that it was nearly the same as in some cases of apprenticeship among us, where the parents bind the child for seven years, and have from the master so much per week during that period".

[@HearGodsWord]

Just goes to show how silly people look when they quote a Bible text with no context

[@AtamMardes]

@@HearGodsWord U thank God for your life & also for the life of the animals u kill to eat. U thank God for picking u out of many patients to recover from illness. Are u that dumb to not realize how the religion scam has fooled u to believe in an imaginary God by exploiting your hypocrisy, narcissism, ignorance, & arrogance?

[@HearGodsWord]

@@AtamMardes ah that old comment has been pasted in. Each time you post that I ask you where in the Bible so you get those points from. Are you going to answer this time?

[@durzua07]

Pleaseee leave that relationship, that is not God’s plan for you

[@justinmayfield6579]

Daniel Urzua On Judgement Day, an account will have to be given for every careless word spoken (Matthew 12:36). Be careful encouraging someone to sin (which divorce is)-especially not hearing both sides (Proverbs 18:17).

[@InvokingTexan]

Only when all other options have failed, and reconciliation is seemingly impossible. Even the greatest sinners can be redeemed, and shown how good they have it. We take for granted the people in our lives, and do not appreciate them, until they are gone. Temporary separation, but not divorce should be pursued. That is my take.

[@christianmama2441]

I do not believe Christ thinks divorce is legitimate in this case. As believers, we are called to pick up our cross and follow Christ, that means unconditional love. She should pray, cling to God's Word and wait patiently for God to deliver her out of the situation, God really does answer prayers for a woman in such a situation.

[@JohnQPublic11]

Unfortunately the Calvinist God predestined men to demean their wives; so *who are you oh man* to question the sovereign ways of the Calvinist God???

[@InvokingTexan]

What do you mean? Please, elaborate.

[@HearGodsWord]

John If that was the case then why are most reformed churches complementarian? Suggests your opinion isn't very accurate.

[@JohnQPublic11]

@@InvokingTexan --- The Calvinist God is sovereign and he "Decrees", right?

[@JohnQPublic11]

@@HearGodsWord --- Your reading comprehension skills and knowledge of reformed theology are abysmal.

[@HearGodsWord]

I'm just stating facts, which has nothing to do with reading interpretation. Don't be here if you don't like it.