Is a Similar Sense of Calling Required for Marriage?

[@michaelgraves5672]

I needed this! I'm a man in my 30s and have a desire for marriage, and also a growing desire for missions, and currently wondering what to do with the former desire!

[@ForgivenbyGod-t7p]

I'm thankful for these podcasts. Answers are always full of Scripture and very encouraging.

[@colejohnson777]

Amen this is such a good word because I lost my fiance back in October of 2019 we were definitely not equally yoked and she wasn't committed to me she wanted it her way or the highway and she want to rush things and God spirit told me in my heart that I should not rush this right now cuz she just moved to Atlanta and I am in Florida and good thing too because after she moved I saw the true side of her she played games was selfish and was let's just say not wise in decision-making God used her to teach me what a Godly woman is and what to watch out for mind you I did love her but the Lord has taken away those feelings and all I can say is what Satan has caused for evil God has planned for good he saved me something very toxic and has put me on Solid Ground once again amen

[@Just_a_Guy84]

Amen brother cole

[@jj21calago10]

Good for you brother Cole' I just was lost. I made the wrong choice I guess despite God inspired dreams.

[@BN47]

Genuine question. Please, I'm actually asking... Why didn't you use any punctuation? I don't understand why people do that or how their brains even allow them to do it. I need to know.

[@deion312]

I'm a 21 year old man who has a desire to be a missionary to the unreached people groups. I often think about this question in looking for a Godly woman to pursue. Thanks Pastor John.

[@Arcanon10]

This is going to sound like a sarcastic and off-topic statement but I assure with all seriousness that it is not. Your post merely has brought something to the forefront in my mind that I often think about. I have often listened to pastors talk about how the "gift of singleness" provides for "undistracted" devotion to God and allows the single person to serve God in ways a married person could not, namely with regards to time and effort. Now it has always seemed to me that all Christians, regardless of marital status, should attempt to pursue undistracted devotion to God for we are all called to a process of sanctification in order to become more and more like our Lord and Savior, Christ. The assertion that this is somehow particularly necessary or meaningful to single people seems questionable at best to me. That being said, if anyone would benefit from not having the "distractions of marriage," would it not be a missionary or a pastor? Such Christians are called by God to a very important and very special vocation in service to His kingdom. Yet 99% of the time, the pastors and Christian KZbinrs and people I see engaged in mission work are ... you guessed it .... married. Indeed, most of them are married quite early. And even yourself, as an aspiring missionary, are also seeking a godly wife. Please do not misunderstand. I am not suggesting in the slightest that one should not pursue marriage, whoever you are and whatever you are being called to do. Yet it seems like the whole "gift of singleness" mantra about "having more time and undistracted devotion" is something said merely to older singles and not to young people aspiring to be missionaries or pastors. So I am curious? Has anyone in your circle, such as other godly men or pastors, ever discouraged you from finding a wife if your are going to pursue being a missionary because of Paul's advice in 1st Corinthians 7? Thanks for your patience and time friend!

[@deion312]

@@Arcanon10 Great wisdom. No, nobody has ever discouraged me from finding a wife. But, I have had pastors who have been happy to know that I am single and I am not currently pursuing a woman to pursue as a wife. Mostly because I am totally free to the Lords work. For me, I know that I burn with passion, therefore... is it better for me to marry. And with marriage in mind, I am seeking a wife who has the same heart for God in terms of "Making the best use of our time here on earth and not wasting our lives on worldly things."

[@Arcanon10]

@@deion312 Thank you for your reply :) I pray you do find a godly, loving, strong wife. A life of prolonged, unwanted singleness is very difficult and frustrating. It may be God's will, yes ... but difficult nonetheless.

[@hamilton9651]

​​@@Arcanon10I agree with your assessment that if anyone should remain single it is a pastor or missionary. I do not think single women should be serving as missionaries in countries where women are second class citizens. But aside from that I've known missionary couples boarding planes bound for remote, third world countries with newborns in their laps. It's certainly seemingly a contradiction to say marriage won't make their work and lives more difficult, but that singles in our churches should be happy serving God with no distractions.

[@hamilton9651]

Personally I think these young married people in churches, on KZbin, and in ministries don't know how to address older singles (some in long years of unwanted singleness), but instead throw out these verses intended for a rare few!

[@TheBoss2288]

Beautiful well put and hits close to home. Thank you pastor, John

[@Betty_abraham]

Its Pastor John again❤🙌🏼glory to God!!

[@mjz667]

Off topic. But how do you guys define a “sense of calling”?

[@mars9399]

Matthew Smith I definitely don’t think it’s a temporary passion. It’s got to be something that’s shown itself to you over and over again. Maybe a talent/skill/responsibility. Then, sureness follows it, and you can envision yourself enjoying and and realistically carrying those things out in the future.

[@polkadot9249]

Our ultimate calling is to glorify the Lord by bringing others to know him. But I think “career” callings vary depending on the season of your life and where the Lord is leading you. like your calling could be to be a spouse and parent but that may not be for another 5 or 10 years, or you could be called to work in a certain area, but then the Lord leads you to work in a different industry 15 years later. I don’t think there’s any set career calling, although I believe that is Gods will for some people. Again you could be called to a season but not stay there forever. That’s my two cents based off of what I’ve been learning so far.

[@jackattack900]

Good sermon. My comment to another user is not showing up. Maybe it was marked as spam, so I am re-posting it here: @T D Pearson Although pastor John was a bit scattershot, his unifying message was clear. If the woman has a passion to serve in ministry prior to marrying a man, and said man is meant to lead the wife in righteousness, then how can he do less? How can he let her take spiritual charge, when he is supposed to be the one who directs the house? If he loves her, as Christ loved the church, then he will let the Holy Spirit move him to take the lead and not be a couch potato. Dependent on the mission work, and the husband has the final say on any outreach programs, it will benefit the man just as much as the woman. Ultimately, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we stand alone together.

[@jackattack900]

Several of my responses to other users are not showing up. This is frustrating, so here they are:

[@InvokingTexan]

Yeah. I got the same problem.

[@vellarose4968]

Good content.

[@polkadot9249]

I would think that you would find someone who is in a similar place in life as you with similar desires. If you want to be an overseas missionary, why would you want to be with someone who’s not interested in that at all. I agree though that people change throughout the relationship. But if your both praying and seeking Gods will for your marriage than if you don’t want to do missions anymore than it’s because the lord led you there and your husband would be on the same page. But who knows, just talk to God and see what his will is for you, not your own will for your life.

[@ladyblackburn]

His voice sounds like the guy for early 2000s commercials from shows for the ABC Family channel.

[@neophiri4079]

What happenes if as a man you have not asked your current wife, whether she is willing to trust, and follow your leading as long as you are not leading her astray?

[@saramartin623]

Ask her now.

[@celistarteri2896]

Perfect

[@vico100]

Great!

[@Yesica1993]

Why do people always assume God will give them a spouse? I'd give anything to be married. I'm 51. Barring a miracle, it's never going to happen.

[@Arcanon10]

It is true that God never promises earthly happiness to us. Quite to the contrary, Christ said that we should expect suffering ... of all kinds. God's promises will be fully realized in heaven, not here on earth. And sadly ... that means some of us will never experience the joys and pleasures of marriage while others will be blessed with it at a young age seemingly without any spiritual effort. I have seen so many younger, immature, carnally - minded Christians get married and I find myself, in moments of faithlessness, angrily wondering what the rules are. Ultimately, it always returns to Christ. He is our example in all things ... including our suffering. We must say, as He said in the garden ... "not my will, but Yours be done," no matter how painful and confusing God's will seems to be. And for anyone dealing with truly prolonged singleness, things can get painful and frustrating and confusing in spades. Stay faithful friend, I know it is hard.

[@mr.c2485]

Yesica1993 Are you a leper? Perhaps your standards are too high.

[@michellemalan5228]

Mr. C, that is absolutely absurd "Standards too high.." what trash Most people's standards aren't nearly high enough and perhaps that's one of the reasons why the divorce rate in the church is absolutely horrifying I agree that God doesn't promise marriage to everyone. Ultimately marriage is a blessing but it's not the ultimate blessing - Christ is. However marriage can also be a curse, I know many people who are very depressed within their marriage. But it really is never too late. C.S. Lewis (my favorite Author) only got married in his 60's and he seemed to consider his marriage an absolute blessing, even at an old age

[@Yesica1993]

@@mr.c2485 What a nasty person you are.

[@kathleenwharton2139]

It is a good idea if the husband and wife are on the same page! I am a Jesus person and my husband was a Church person! We were close..sort of? But It did not work!

[@pookie7194]

❤❤❤❤

[@mars9399]

I remember seeing a ted talk about a Christian couple where the wife chose to stay to love her husband despite him undergoing transgender surgery to become a woman. It was very difficult for her..and I still continue to tell myself to keep my mind open about changes. I don’t know if I could stay for a spouse that decides to change their sex.

[@hamilton9651]

I think the Lord would understand if she wanted to leave him. Isn't it likely that he would leave her anyway?

[@waterbaby_princess]

You have no reason to stay. In fact, you have every right to walk away from the marriage because a) he is no longer your husband and b) he is no longer the spiritual leader of the home. And C) He has become worse than an unbeliever.

[@Datmexican]

Is it sinful to date/marry someone who is not Christian

[@samaldridge5283]

It is. we shouldn't become unequally yoked. Of course if your already married, that wouldn't be sinful, assuming you weren't aware of that sin when you were married

[@Gud2B_Blessed]

It is difficult to maintain relationships in general. It is far harder without the Lord invovled.

[@michellemalan5228]

All things are permissible, but not all things are helpful Any attraction you have with a person who is not committed to God will fade. God should be the deepest thing about u - the centre and essence of ur worldview. A marriage with someone whose essence and deepest convictions differ from urs will absolutely not last (and if it "lasts" as in u don't get divorced, it will be unnecessarily painful and unpleasant) Then again if u are married and u convert but ur husband doesn't, yet they choose to stay with u then the bible commands you to stay with them also. Who knows, perhaps God will turn their hearts towards Him aswell. But if u are unmarried, DO NOT make life harder for urself by disregarding God's advice and marrying a unbeliever. If u already married a non believer ... Well, that was very unwise of u to do. Nevertheless ur already married and God is able to bring beauty out of ashes, however it will be harder for u than if u married someone whose COMMITMENT TOWARDS JESUS matched ur own.

[@jj21calago10]

@@Gud2B_Blessed exactly very hard. Pray for me.

[@jj21calago10]

@@michellemalan5228 hello Michelle' thanks you...I with close eyes would like to submit my would to this truth you've shared.