One And Done Mothers Speaking Up - Regret Having Their Kids

[@batgirlp5561]

People say if you don't have a child you will regret it. Then, once you have one, they say you'll regret it if you don't give them a sibling. Don't let others run your life.

[@EadsB7002]

Yes! You know yourself better than anyone else and you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions, not them.

[@annaburns2865]

“If you don’t travel, then you will regret it. If you don’t go to college then you will regret it. If you don’t move will back in with your mom (even though she lives way out the country) after college then you will regret it. If you don’t live in the city then you will regret it. If you don’t get a job in then you will regret it. If you don’t have your own money then you will regret it. If you don’t keep your ridiculously low paying job, because “it’s all about the outcome, not the income.” then you will regret it. If you don’t get married then you will regret it. If you don’t have kids then you will regret it. If you don’t give your kids a sibling then you will regret it. If you don’t give me grandkids, then you will regret it. If you expect me to watch the grandkids then you will regret it. If you don’t help me in my old age, then you will regret it. If you don’t get your tubes tied then you will regret it. If you don’t divorce your husband then you will regret it. If you don’t quit your job then you will regret it. If you want to spend time with your nieces and nephews, then you will regret it. You’re going to die alone anyway. If you don’t stay home and cook all day then you will regret it. If you don’t live somewhere cheap even if it’s way out of the way and a dump that’s falling apart, then you will regret it. If you can’t afford the high cost of housing then you will regret it. If you don’t go back to your controlling mother then you will regret it. If you don’t re-apply for food stamps then you will regret it. If you don’t quit eating, then you will regret it. If you don’t conform to society, then you will regret it. If you don’t let others steal your energy, then you will regret it. If you don’t let other people (who have no concept of what you are going through)tell you what to do, then you will regret it. Don’t blame me for anything. Those were all your decisions.” Yep, I’ve heard it all before.

[@sweaters_and_harmony9525]

Yes - and I think kids born to parents who never truly wanted them always find out the truth one way or another.

[@littleripper312]

They might be correct, you might regret not having kids. The problem is there is a percentage of women who's lives are destroyed by having children and were pushed into it by family and society when they shouldn't have. I used to think that percentage was around 10% but it appears it might be a lot higher than that. Only in very recent years have women even been allowed to openly talk about this issue. Hopefully we will get to a point where we're able to make more informed decisions and not have women pushed into a lifestyle they don't want.

[@annmarieknapp]

I have a child and I very much regret it.😢😢😢😢

[@kylia2009]

As a 32 year old woman, I always saw myself having one or two kids. Didn't realize growing up that it would be so hard finding a worthy male partner to do it with. Most of the women I know are struggling single mothers... I just can't see that for myself. So if I never find the right partner, I will be child free and content with that decision.

[@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner]

Same boat! Still have not met the one!

[@Brii98]

I swear the vast majority of the women I know around my age who have children are single mothers. I’ll pass on that

[@kylia2009]

@@Brii98 it's because a lot of woman give up and "settle for the baby" instead of waiting for a better partner and building a traditional family.

[@coachbrit5107]

Even when you think you found the right one, it's still a gamble. The lady in the video said her husband left.

[@Notime2wonder]

Fr sis 😶💯

[@fslayer1290]

I taught 2-3 year olds for seven years and grew up babysitting and tutoring. Everyone who wants kids should work with children for an extended amount of time to learn the realities of child rearing. 😊

[@unbiasedtv6525]

🎯💯

[@kalistrand5420]

YES!!!

[@angelgreen9945]

❤

[@saras.1912]

It's horrible I hate it, just want to go home at the end of the day. Can't imagine having other idiots at home.

[@realglutenfree]

@@saras.1912 But why do you work with children? Its not good if you hate it.

[@LateshaRenee]

I got pregnant at 18, I’m 32 now and my daughter just turned 13. I don’t want anymore children. The girl who said you worry forever is 1000% correct. CONSTANT anxiety about trying to keep your child happy and alive, no matter how old.

[@NotSoTypikal]

That’s the worse part…. Trapped forever!!! 😂

[@marymotherofgod4861]

Facts and the dads have a clear head my son is 24 and when he goes out I still don’t sleep this world is dangerous 💜🙏

[@ineedhoez]

Well that's where you went wrong. Your goal is not to keep your child happy.

[@tahmina7222]

@NotSoTypikal she only goes through that because she’s a good mom. You don’t have to be trapped forever - just be a garbage person and mom

[@NotSoTypikal]

@@tahmina7222 TRAPPED FOREVER

[@churchsbiscuits]

My mom always told me the more kids you have the more you and the kids will struggle.

[@gmylap7344]

Procreating without planning will condemn you to poverty.

[@okaycola2]

That’s bs

[@angelagomez6854]

@@okaycola2that’s actually true … that’s a smart woman 😂

[@yudollia]

Yup! Pay attention women and stop being cattle !

[@TheGenie1031]

My mom is an Antiguan woman. She told me the same thing. My mother told me 2 kids is poverty.

[@rickazca774]

Never wanted kids. Didn't have kids. The same people who called me selfish, greedy, narcissistic, judgmental, close minded....Now tell me how lucky I am that I didn't have kids. That simple.

[@valeriebrousseau1053]

Im 28 and other females ( especially my boomer grandma) is still telling me " your still young you will change your mind " or " until your not a mother you will never know " or " your gonna get bored at 60 with no grand-kids." Females that are mothers tend to infantilizing childfree/childless woman as a form of bullying/shame.

[@cierrawashington8596]

If that makes you feel better about being childless!

[@0HellcatMary0]

​@@cierrawashington8596Why do y'all have to cope so hard? Is it because you're stressed?

[@yesterdayitrained]

I’m childfree, married (neither of us wanted kids from a very young age). People have shamed me for not wanting children (I’m broken, I have no maternal instincts, and so on). These people all have children. For those few people who have said these things to me- over the years, I realized they are actually angry, frustrated, and stressed beyond the point anyone should be (understandably). And I also realized when they looked at me, they saw I wasn’t ‘tied down’ like they were. They were doing right by their kids, and that takes A LOT. But they felt like they were losing their sense of self- other than being a mother. I’m NOT saying I am better or worse than any women. They are all incredible people. Their comments don’t offend me anymore. Instead, my heart breaks for them. And just because I choose not to have children doesn’t mean I don’t like children. I’ve stepped up (because I can) and have watched their kids for more hours than I can count. And I loved every minute. They got time to run errands, get things done, or just chill. And I got to know and love the most wonderful children. I’ll always love them. Sorry this is so long. But I hope people see the how well we can complement each other as women.

[@maenad1231]

“You’re so lucky you don’t have kids” Luck had nothing to do with it broad 😂

[@MyWonderingSpirit]

I'm an only child (57yrs) and I only have 1 daughter. I had her at 25 and tubes tied at 27 I knew I never wanted to do that again. I love my daughter we have the best relationship, I was able to pour all my love and attention into her. Now she is 32 and tells me she does not want to have kids, wants to focus on her career and that is ok, it is her choice and it's ok if young women do not want to have kids or just have one.

[@sophiam9886]

​​​@@dianalove539Why are people so attached to "bloodlines" anyway?😏 It's lowkey narcissistic. The world is still full of billions of people for humanity to continue if that's what you're worried about.🙄 Every single person does not have to continue their "bloodline" AS IF we're all so special.😅 Like I said, humanity will continue.

[@kstayblessed]

Did your doctor give you trouble about having your tubes tied after only having one child?

[@nativenation11]

@@sophiam9886 Exactly! There are some bloodlines that need to d i e. Monsters running around with no home training putting our nieces and daughters lives at risk. Commenter acting like all bloodlines are Martin Luther King Jr genes while a bunch of em aren't being raised with a lick of compassion, kindness or respect. Also Whitney's "bloodline" ended with Bobbi Kristina (In loving memory to Whitney and Bobbi Kristina) Bloodline is not important. What we give back to the world is, Whitney will be remembered for her music not her "bloodline."

[@Nicholenickinicscott]

​@dianalove539 you do know that it's possible that not everyone believes in continuing the bloodline?

[@lotusflower2315]

@@sophiam9886 Highkey

[@TT-fn1xb]

Women just can’t win. You have no kids and someone questions you. You have one kid and someone says ‘when you gonna have another?’ You not married and someone asks ‘why not?’. Just let people live their lives and focus on your own life.

[@Nimbithefallen5326]

And when you have too many kids people say you’re just a womb

[@milliem8051]

And if ur partner/husband doesn’t help or leaves you, you should have picked better

[@zhaniyahill]

This 👌

[@Beavis74-r3q]

@@milliem8051 well it's not like someone picked out your bf lol

[@danimack38]

There is no village. Everyone is interested in how you are mothering but only to judge you. You are basically on your own. Please know that . And the only expense $$$$$$$$

[@godslittleprincess5454]

Yup

[@lagoonagoon5490]

100%

[@ekata.dracomancis]

💯

[@actual_doge3221]

I saw something a long time ago which said your friends don't actually care about your success. They're too involved in pursuing their own success, to care that you are not succeeding. That is so right.

[@JBgoodiebag]

Was this discussed with the village (family) before bringing a child in? Or did yall just have a baby and expected the village (family) to co-parent? Yeah that’s some BS

[@michelek7672]

Great video. Even parents lie to their grown children about the stress of motherhood. Also, most father's experience parenthood differently and tend to have a rosier memory of events.

[@diamondheart11]

It's more rosier for the fathers because they don't have to put in the work, it unfairly falls almost exclusively on women, and it has been going for thousands of years. Women have to carry it for 9 months and suffer the physical consequences for giving birth to it, breast feed and feed solids later on, clean it, bond with it and nurture it, give lots of time, attention, play, counsel and give guidance on problems and questions, keep a eye on it with school work and their social network, be on top of celebrations, events and gatherings, it goes on and on and that's not even including the housework and maybe the part time work for income. Men just have to be the sperm donor, provide half the wages, and maybe discipline the children, maybe, because some don't even do that.

[@biblethumper8088]

Fathers have that view bc they aren't contributing to raising and providing for their children. The few fathers I've seen and read about who are single parents abuse and neglect their children. They are too occupied with s*x.

[@gmylap7344]

💯

[@evamajor1227]

​@@gmylap7344aq

[@evamajor1227]

​@@gmylap7344aq

[@KEOSHAANEILIA]

I cannot understand people NOT thinking it through and planning for parenthood, Realistically!

[@fluxonite]

....then they cry and complain about how "hard" having kids is. What did you expect? 🤣

[@changenow6002]

I think the women are just old hard trash now and this is why everybody thinks the way they do..Gods makes the rules here but we forgot about him for the nonsense the world taught you..

[@magnarcreed3801]

IQ and how many kids you have are related. They’re usually just dumb people.

[@BamPowBoom11]

I legit don’t understand how women don’t have a REALISTIC FORESIGHT about parenthood. I legit grew up with my Mom being very vocal about how she diskliked being a parent and I guess in a way I might’ve internalized it and made the decision not to have kids. I grew up in a single parent household so I know firsthand how hard it could be and I would rather die before WILLINGLY ALLOWING myself into a role that I know I don’t want to be in. I have realized that as women that we’ve been socialized into thinking that it’s our sworn duty to be a Mom but I feel like I wasn’t put here just to produce offspring. Women are so much more capable of that.

[@goldenhourg]

It's INSANE. People do more research on where they go on vacation than they do for bringing a human being into the world 😢

[@embluvya]

You can give in to family members pushing you to have kids, have that baby, and even then theyll still keep pushing you to have more. Put your foot down and ignore pushy family members.

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

LoL! No. I had an aunt tell me to just have one child and give it to her to raise. She was the same one who told me to give my sister her child to raise herself, even though I knew she didn't want her. My sister had a child young, her husband travelled abroad to make a better life for them. She was straining so I took my niece so that she could go back to school. After 7 years, I gave her my niece back, but she still wasn't ready and my niece did not have a good quality of life for three years until her father came back and took her with him. Suffice it to say, my sister had another child with her new man and she loves that baby to bits. He is such a positive sweet child and I too dote on him.

[@Iam.4aym]

My mom and sis but I should've followed my heart and said no or gave her up for adoption

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

I know id probably be so depressed as a mom. I know so many struggling moms. Its so unfair, nope!!!

[@azureavocado5195]

In my corporate job, there is an entire subculture dedicated to dads. Three cheers for dads!! But there are no such cheers for mothers. There are no cheers for the women in the organization that are in childbearing years …slaving away with zero breaks. There are no cheers for the women who actually enable them to become fathers. I don’t know why women don’t understand that everybody profits from our bodies but us. It’s messed up.

[@EadsB7002]

@@azureavocado5195it really is. I’m amazed that more women don’t realize the scam that it really is (in majority of cases)!

[@aaunyea4799]

I don't drink, but i know I'd be an alcoholic 😂

[@Childfree334]

Social media wasn't around when I was growing up, but I am so thankful to The Most High for opening my eyes at a very young age that I had no desire to be a mother. Observing my mother and other women in my community be miserable with kids in everyday life was all the birth control I needed. I am so thankful for these kinds of videos so young girls can be exposed to REALITY. As the woman, the burden will be on YOU physically (pregnancy &childbirth), emotionally (nurturing your child AND your husband/partner), domestically (get ready to do the lion's share of childcare/rearing and domestic labor), and financially (unless you are fortunate enough to get a partner who believes in providing for his family because he values your contribution; but men like that are rare). These mothers are warning you. Please take heed.

[@gmylap7344]

💯💯💯

[@KagomeYasha023]

Good supportive hands on at home with the kids type fathers are extremely rare. They’ll talk a big game some of them but they’re fooling.

[@kimsid3523]

100%❤

[@transitionsnc]

I agree with what you are saying in this comment. I'm single, never married, no children and grew up before social media. From early on, I knew I didn't want to have kids. When I was in my 20s, it was always interesting to me how I could have s$x with men I was involved with and they could just walk away and not even think about it. Meanwhile I was always hyper concerned about getting pregnant despite using birth control every time. It just made me realize that men are wired differently than women and if I got pregnant, my life would drastically change while theirs wouldn't necessarily depending on how much responsibility they took. The differential was just shocking to me and not in a good way. Anyway, thanks for your comment.

[@meandepiphany]

The Most High was talking like that? Funny, he also spoke about women leaving their natural use in the end of days.

[@tanisha7789]

This video is my thoughts right now too many women have told me how unhappy and miserable they are thank god I never did it

[@azureavocado5195]

And this is just the WEE fraction, who are aware enough to realize it, and honest enough to share it.

[@EadsB7002]

Yes lawd.. I am relieved everyday I never did!! I knew pretty early in life that it wasn’t for me but so very glad I stayed true to myself and never listened to the naysayers/ the societal pressure to have kids.

[@gazagxrlx2974]

This is one of the reasons I'm childfee. I know I would be a regretful Mom 😢

[@Childfree334]

Exactly

[@seekinghimdaily92]

*COLD HARD TRUTH.* 😔

[@blackacrossthepond1140]

I swing between being a regretful mom to being a grateful mom. I had 5. I'm 46 . Eldest is 30 and having her own family. Youngest is 14. I love my children but I've often feel jealous of single women and the freedom theyve had . I married again 7 years ago and now I'm just wishing I didn't. I just want to be in my solitude. People are draining

[@yoyosworld2773]

And that’s the self awareness we need more of, really, because at the end of the day it won’t just be you feeling the repercussions, it will also be the whole ass other human being you brought into the world. We can regret being childfree, but really it will only affect us, and I’d much rather prefer that.

[@LD-tk7qf]

Your not alone so many of us regret having even one child! What a mistake I made I regret it

[@sinkalaj]

I am so grateful to my mother for being honest about motherhood. From our teenage years she drilled into my sisters and I that being a parent is hard and that we should only have children if we want them. Not to do it just because our partner wants children. When we became adults she admitted that if she was part of our generation, she probably wouldn't have had children, but it was different for her because women didn't really have that option. She was an amazing mother (and my dad was amazing too). My sisters are in their 50's now and I am a year away from 50. None of us have children. I have never felt the desire. I have 3 nephews and a niece (from both my brothers) and they are amazing to spend time with, but when they were young and I babysat them for more than 24 hours, it helped solidify my belief that motherhood was definitely not for me

[@Jac527]

Same. From a young age my mother said out loud that if any of her kids ( my siblings and I) had children there was she was not going to help because there is NO village. The village is a myth. She said direct to me “I don’t want to be a grandmother now” and well I’m glad she said that. Parenthood sucks ass and in this economy, HELL NO!

[@biblethumper8088]

@@Jac527 I'm the same way as your mother. I will disown them if they do. I teach my children not to have children like it's the pledge of allegiance.😁

[@gmylap7344]

@@biblethumper8088😂

[@sw6118]

Lucky you. My parents always told me that having children wrecks your life and that if I had children they would never ever provide babysitting services. It certainly made me wonder. I think this one and done movement is why the GQP is so into forced birth.

[@Cateyes767]

I'm grateful to your mother and all mothers who are honest with their daughters about motherhood.

[@NooooneYA1010]

I’m a one and done mom. I’m very thankful I didn’t make the mistake of having more than one child. My son is an awesome kid. Being a parent is much easier when you have a child with a partner who is supportive and actually cares for you.

[@diamondjack-cooper5322]

Exactly!

[@xxhshrebyba]

this is what i want 😢

[@IloveJesus777j77]

​@@xxhshrebybaJesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.

[@sweetlady1616]

the problem is most people only want children for selfish reasons. they don’t actually think about what it takes to successfully raise them.

[@malki2768]

That and people don’t like hearing the un ideal version of what being a parent really is and the way that you’re a parent until you die or your child dies. It doesn’t matter what age they are. It doesn’t matter where they are in the world. It doesn’t matter if they went and got a really good job the day they need you again you’re still a parent they need somewhere to go. They have nowhere to go. You’re still a parent. it really sucks when a lot of parents find out they start panicking but this is why for me it’s like it’s sad because you empathize with the fact that who doesn’t want their alone time who doesn’t want downtime after your kids turn 18 and they ideally go to college and even after they graduate from college, they ideally get a good job that allows them to live on their own and even if they get a job to allow them to live on their own, and they ideally meet a person that is safe for them and that they can build a life with and that they ideally just continue to be able to support a life for themselves but that realistically the moment none of that works out you had them you are their parent. You are supposed to be their safe space. you are their go to.

[@biblethumper8088]

The take away note is that the fathers are abandoning the mother with ALL of the responsibilities. This is what makes having children so dreadful. Everything the second woman said was due to the absent father abandoning her. Just stay child-free bc you can't trust males. And for the ones who it's too late for, teach your children to be child-free. At least this will give you peace of mind that your children won't suffer the same fate.

[@Brii98]

I agree! So glad I never made such a terrible decision

[@jairenee7606]

👏🏼💯

[@iscah-nk8xj]

So true. That blond lady w the two little kids and her husband is there acting like a third overgrown child. They’re useless when they stay, it’s almost better when they fuck off.

[@1bluegreen2]

So, you're ready for the world to be over without population replacement. You'll need other people's kids to work in your nursing home. ALSO, children need siblings! Life is hard and when people die and leave their kids alone

[@biblethumper8088]

@@1bluegreen2 there will be no need for siblings or caretakers bc there won't be anymore children.

[@akiadima3814]

I don't want to have children but for the woman who want that... I would just say make sure you can support that kid fully on your own with everything you both need and more. With or without the other parent. That way if the relationship doesn't work out you can move on with less stress and find better options.

[@bdjonx]

I’m a ONE & DONE. I love my daughter & learning to really enjoy the journey of motherhood. …but NEVER AGAIN. Moms do all of the work.

[@sarahlo4661]

Allllllllll of the work even if the man is a good man. It’s just the way society has constructed the gender roles and expectations.

[@smartanajones4u]

My child is 32 yrs old. Had her as a teen. After going through years of trying to raise my child and myself, and dealing with the financial, mental and emotional strain that being a single parent brings, I knew for a freakin fact no man on earth would ever be worthy of me replicating/birthing his seed. I love my child with every fiber in my being, but after doing it alone for so long (even after my child was 18) Im very thankful that she was a 1 and done. When they say mama baby papa maybe, you better believe that is 💯 truth because it doesn’t matter what a man promises you or he morphs into your standards so he can get what he wants from you, many of them have the propensity to change their minds and they’ll leave you and that child financially, emotionally, mentally and physically stranded at the drop of a dime.

[@gmylap7344]

💯💯💯

[@Brii98]

I couldn’t imagine being a child with a child.

[@soulshadoww55]

Yes! My sister got pregnant when she was as 17 (back in the 1960s. My parents made her life a nightmare.

[@transitionsnc]

"because it doesn’t matter what a man promises you or he morphs into your standards so he can get what he wants from you, many of them have the propensity to change their minds and they’ll leave you and that child financially, emotionally, mentally and physically stranded at the drop of a dime" This sentence hit me because it's unfortunately true. It can be hard to tell ahead of time who will switch up and by the time you find out, it's too late.

[@swagcatnana]

True. Remember that when you are at your most vulnerable state, he can be at his meanest, and that feeling of betrayal, anger and hopelessness is just beyond one’s imagination.

[@yoyosworld2773]

I respect moms who understand that having kids isn’t this wonderful, beautiful thing 24/7. I have many mom friends whom I love and are fantastic mothers but tell me all the time not to do it. I appreciate that honesty. We need more of that.

[@justicevibes1252]

Don't do it because it's never how you imagine it to be. What they don't tell you is you can raise your child to be a respectful caring person. However, the moment they hangout with the wrong crowd, is when they start changing. It even happens to kids if they hangout with a badly behaved kid. They'll copy the bad behaviors. And then everyone judges you like you're doing something wrong. When it wasn't like that before. It's constantly stressful. There are good times but it's like being on a rollercoaster and you never know which way it'll turn. 💯

[@kateri35]

​@justicevibes1252 that's why discipline in some form is so necessary so when the child is influenced by the wrong crowd they receive correction from their parents to deter and stop them from following that bad influence. The lack of discipline in my peers kids and in Gen Z especially is totally disgusting and why Gen Z is an essentially lost and useless generation. I had kids later in laugh so all my peers have Gen Z kids who are total asshole losers because their parents didn't provide them any discipline or structure whereas my kids are Gen Alpha and already more mature, capable, and responsible then my peers Hen Z high school kids simply from having discipline and structure and me and my husband not letting them play on a screen 24/7 and do whatever they want. Not sure why so many millennial parents decided to make their kids their best friends instead of raising them to be a functional worthwhile adult some day when they are grown.

[@justicevibes1252]

@@kateri35 I agree with you. I received compliments all the time about how well behaved my son was. He's a good kid who gets straight A's and is polite. However, I had to change sitters and I thought she would be a good fit because she was reliable. There was a little girl (a couple yrs older) there and I thought that would be good for him. However, while I worked OT's this girl was teaching my son that tripping and hitting is okay. Because that little girl has no discipline at all. When I started noticing my son was doing things he never did before I got him out of there but because I didn't have anyone else he stayed there a bit longer than I wanted him to. I am a single parent. I don't have someone else there to watch him while I work. Anyways, I got rid of two of the bad behaviors but it's still an ongoing process with certain sayings he caught on too. Being a parent is a never ending guiding process. I do discipline my son but ever since he hung out with that girl it hasn't been 100% like he used to be. But I have faith we'll get there. Also, parents now get shit for discipling kids. "Oh you're too harsh on him." Um no, he just talked back to me and I'll make sure he won't do that again. Anyways, I'm just doing the best I can.

[@kateri35]

@lainie2693 frfr 😆🤦‍♀️

[@IloveJesus777j77]

​@@justicevibes1252Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.

[@seekinghimdaily92]

*COUNT THE COST,* for all decisions you make in life. Evaluate the potential outcomes and be mindful about just jumping into things… 👀

[@ClayMastah344]

Great advice!

[@azureavocado5195]

Why doesn’t anybody actually think about these kids. Society in 20 years with be nightmarish. A lot of black American kids aren’t even making it past 18. When You create a daughter you MUST know she’s going to be preyed upon at some point in life. Women don’t even care about these kids frfr. They just care about themselves.

[@biblethumper8088]

Having children is definitely not something any woman should jump into. It should be taken more seriously than purchasing a home.

[@hanalala3164]

​@@azureavocado5195😂 men care EVEN LESS about these kids. Who are you to judge us b1atch

[@hanalala3164]

​@@azureavocado5195keep yourself blind to the things men do while judging women for everything. Typi al d1ck h3ad

[@berenicemartinez9238]

Life is hard kids make it harder….. child free and loving it….. many people have given me lip for making my own choices but it’s more of a “them” issue.

[@EadsB7002]

100% it is. They aren’t the ones who have to live with the consequences of your decisions, you do. 👌🏻

[@Beavis74-r3q]

No your bad attitude makes your life harder

[@muvatay]

7:30 the woman at this time stamp is one of the most honest and realistic descriptions of what I’ve been going through since becoming a mom and now, single parent. I’m exhausted. Tip: don’t have kids, especially if you’re one of the women who never wanted to have them. Don’t get tricked into thinking you’re creating a “family” with the person you love & that makes it worth it. It’s really is a trap. They can leave. Mothers just ‘can’t.’

[@starlit-rain]

Im sorry to read you are dealing with all this. Wishing you strength!

[@Beavis74-r3q]

Then why don't you give the child over to the father?

[@downbad2874]

It's not about regretting having kids it's ABOUT KNOWING WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE AS A PARENT I became disabled after having my son so he was all I needed

[@Childfree334]

Yes, it is about regretting having kids. I am a pediatric RN. Believe me when I tell you many more people than you realize regret having kids.

[@PrettyOmnificent333]

Sorry about that.

[@IloveJesus777j77]

Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved. 😊

[@txspacemom765]

I had one and done and I am very happy with my choice! There were several things that prompted it for me but the big one was having a sick newborn and NO ONE, family or otherwise, helped me through it. Including the now ex. ;) That was a huge wake up call for me. I don't blame my kid for being sick at all. He is healthy, smart and amazing now but I saw the writing on the wall and I was done. I was given a blessing of a child and I am glad I am a mom and I am good with MY choice.

[@kitty1256x]

Yep, no one cares

[@IloveJesus777j77]

​@@kitty1256xJesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.

[@IloveJesus777j77]

Hi. Keep going. Depend on God. It's hard but rewarding. Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.

[@amanda_ash]

I’m an only child with an only child. I knew I was ‘one and done’ when I found an old pacifier in my couch cushions and said to myself, ‘thank god I don’t have to deal with these EVER again’ when I trashed it. The one thing I love about it is that when a developmental stage is done, it’s done (need to say that this is not always the case with special needs kids). You get the life experience, and you move on. Love to tell people who try to shame me for not giving my kid a sibling that I was a super happy only child. Shuts them up fast. He doesn’t even want a sibling, lol.

[@chidenisee]

I am an only child as well and I only have one child. My cousins are all only children as well. 4 of us. Only 3 of us have one child each. My other cousin doesn’t have any.

[@Di_777]

I'm an only child too and have decided to be child free. Honestly, I loved being an only child. Even now as an adult I see so many grown siblings fighting... Makes me feel so lucky. Being an only child is one of the best kept secrets, truly underrated.

[@RadicalValkyrie]

Im an only child too, and I use to tell my ex, 'if we EVER had a kid, it would only be one. But I dont want a kid. I dont want to be pregnant or be a mother.' He agreed. When he decided to end it after many years, he suddenly wanted two kids! Im like, 'um, yeah, cant help you there.' It was too late by then to even try for one kid! Not that I even wanted one.

[@xxxlegend6810]

I’m not the only child, but I used to have a friend and she once said that she’s happy being the only child and doesn’t want a little sister lol .

[@DontTakeItLiteral]

Right. My child has autism and he has not got diagnosed for adhd but his therapist and myself thinks he’s ADHD and girl do you know I just had to break it off with a guy I was dating bc he wants me to have his baby NOW but doesn’t want to marry now. He said marriage is a big commitment. He is so slow I can’t believe I even talked to him 🫤😭 You can get a divorce but you can’t take the kid back. Either way it goes, I’m done. I can get married in the future, and I’m still done having kids. I got one and it’s so hard 😢 his dad left. I learned from my mistake. I’m bored now since I don’t talk date him anymore but oh well, It beats having another kid 🤣🤣🤣

[@RadicalValkyrie]

Im SO grateful to have all these people on social media speaking out about being childfree, regret of motherhood, or honesty about being a parent. It just makes any of that constant 'society enforced doubt' put onto you, disappear. Im an only child and I know having children around me all day would drive me up the wall. I like my independence, my peace, Im creative and manage my mental health, and love my career. Im almost past having kids now, but my mother agrees that motherhood wouldnt have been the right thing for me and understands why I have had that view since I was 16. I would have been a resentful parent, and I cant do that to a little human.

[@EadsB7002]

Same! I am high functioning autistic and knew at 16 as well.. that there was just no way I’d enjoy being a mother. Watching my parents struggle as parents themselves and in a bad marriage did me in. Too, the last thing I wanted was to pass on mental illness and generational trauma.

[@Mellyouttaphase]

“There is no village” - this is why modern women are turning their backs. Raising a child was never meant to be a one-woman show.

[@BauerBeauty]

This

[@ohanaohana8844]

Then they expect you to do a good job raising a human by yourself.

[@sd7785]

​@@jayaCatLvr-ys5ixwhy?

[@montarou-chi]

I get the struggle but i would never take care of my siblings kids, it's their decision, their responsibility. Unless the family members are happy to take care of them, then that's fine.

[@JBgoodiebag]

Haha, my brother tried to use this on me because I didn’t want to baby sit HIS kids because he was very inconsiderate with time and when he’d pick up his kids. He tried to make me feel guilty for not wanting to babysit his kids that he chose to bring into this world. Keep in mind I had already given up time and babysat my sibling’s kids since I was a teenager! I’m the youngest. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford childcare or can’t find time to be with them. Both of my siblings would lie about when they were coming back meanwhile I was stuck with their kids for hours and when I’d call them they just continued to lie about when they would be back and acted like it was funny. Horrible experience

[@Aniexo_]

That woman who was getting emotional about one and done.. imagining if it’ll be a brother or a sister.. like that shows how a lot of women view parenthood. I’ve seen videos about moms being upset at having 3 boys & no girl or vice versa. It’s hardly ever about parenting. But about themselves & what they want and FOMO…

[@gmylap7344]

💯

[@CordeliaWagner]

Luckily choosing the sex of the child is becoming more normal. It's not legal in many countries but parents can go abroad. Better this than living with a child you don't want.

[@Aniexo_]

@@CordeliaWagner but they’re always preaching about selfishness lol

[@seektruth5750]

@@CordeliaWagnernah, that’s weird , hope it doesn’t become a norm

[@hanalala3164]

Men view parenthood as a trophy while they dump the work to their partner. Ctfu your kind are worse

[@gowine504]

People don't have money. We can barely keep our own heads above water.

[@fourthprince1099]

I will remain child free. I don’t have the patience for a child.

[@BubblesandMarshmallows]

I’m an only child raised by a single mother. I saw her struggle with just me. This is why I never really wanted children.

[@katie18261]

I'm 30 and divorced. Every single day I am thankful I am childfree 💚 I wouldnt be ME as a mother.

[@torilovebyrd8418]

I did it 4 times, and when they were little I was a boss at it. I was on top of everything. The minute they became independent I felt useless, and I wouldn’t change it for the world (except on days I’m having an existential crisis and want to be a single aunty that travels and goes to brunch every week), but I also fully understand that I was blessed to have easy pregnancies, babies and a support system that was thoroughly obsessed with them, because watching my sister struggle with hers my heart breaks for her. I know that motherhood is not for every woman and agree that there is a certain amount of delusion that has to go into deciding to become a mother and be good at it. That is why I support any woman’s decision not to do it. My girls have decided they do not wish to become mothers and I support them 1000%.

[@MsJani70]

I am turning 40 this year and I have a 6 month old. I have no desire to have another baby. Just having my daughter took so much out of me. I look forward to watching her grow and getting back parts of my life as she does. One and done!!!!!!

[@novelty718]

My husband and I say we are one and done. We are older parents and I have a chronic illness. PLUS we live an expensive city, have good jobs yet more than half is going to rent. We have an incredible support system. I look at my son and would love to give him a sibling...if we won Lotto and society found a cure for my illness maybe 🤷🏾

[@DestinyUteh]

I Pray 🙏🏽 for healing for you 🙏🏽🤎😘

[@shanwilliams4042]

I am 42. But I feel like I’m on the cusp of Gen X/Millennial. I’ve known since I was 8 that I only wanted one child. I saw the poverty some of my friends went through. My daughter is 22 yrs old now. She wants nothing to do with children. If I didn’t have a village, I couldn’t have done it without them. After I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her father, he just disappeared. My daughter has seen him 3 times since she was 5. I’ve.been able to pour all my energy into my child. Now she’s an adult, she has no interest in even dating. She wants no kids. I told her the village I had won’t be the village you have. She wanted a sibling until about 12. After I explained what she would have to give up, she changed her mind and never brought it up again 😂. All this to say, if you want one, have one. Don’t let ppl guilt you into having any children or more children. At the end of the day, you are responsible for that child. With this economy, I would not have kids, especially if we are heading into a global recession. I’ve been able to travel and have fun because it’s easy to find a babysitter for 1. She is the only child, only grandchild, only great grand, only niece.

[@swiftkarma4436]

Had my one I wanted as a single parent who was focused on getting a degree instead of man. 18 years later it has been so worth it. She is amazing who gives and gets so much from life. I honestly would have struggled raising her with someone else. She tells me all the time she has been happy growing up with just me and a few family members and my BFF of 20 years. We have a peaceful home. Teachers always compliment the job I did and her friends parents all say she is welcome in their home anytime.

[@JaiK64]

Coming from someone who wanted 13 children, but stopped at 3, I can say, with my full chest, reality hits wayyyyy harder than fantasy 😅 I love my family, but, man, if I could I would do so many things differently, properly planning them would be number one. I'm all for people knowing for themselves and being at peace with having no kids, one kid, or multiple kids. We are all different and I love that we get to decide what's right for us, that ish is empowering.

[@melodyreyneofficial]

I am a one and done mom. And I love that I have the best of both worlds. I can have my own life and enjoy putting into my one child the best I can.

[@Sunny-tc3ul]

Nah, that woman kids don’t have any home training. I wish my kids would have tore my house up. But anyway. I’m a mother of two I do wish I didn’t have two because my oldest is almost grown🥳🙌🏾but I still have one left. I have been DRILLING into my son head don’t get any women pregnant. He is 17 now he have condoms he knows how to use them and to not believe any woman saying but I’m on birth control. Women still have gotten pregnant with birth control and IUD’s. I told him to get his animation career started and continue to strive in life. I told him he can stay home till he’s 100% on his feet. If I knew the economy was going to hit rock bottom I would have never had children period. This is not the economy I grew up in.

[@biblethumper8088]

Why would you teach your son to use girls for s*x? I would press charges on your son if he touched my daughters.

[@teetee8388]

That's what u said they are not discipline.

[@Booyawatchin]

As a single child myself, its amazing. So lets all relax.

[@rileystein6195]

I never planned to have kids, then had my son last October. My relationship with my partner has only been getting worse. I love my son, but I will never do this again. I'd rather focus on him and building up his social circle, so he's always got plenty of his peers to talk to. Being a mom is tough, but having a solid partner and a close family does make a world of difference. I have neither.

[@Heyitschy03]

First red flags after having your son.?

[@rileystein6195]

@chinadavis1482 well I don't have much free time because I can't afford childcare. I'm either working or taking care of my son.

[@Heyitschy03]

@@rileystein6195 and you’re partner has been more irritable?

[@rileystein6195]

@chinadavis1482 I think he's just showing his true colors over time. I either didn't notice or ignored red flags when we first got together.

[@Heyitschy03]

@@rileystein6195 I’m so sorry.

[@savagesweetheart90]

As an only child I agree with everything the last woman said. My parents worked hard at their jobs but always showed up to my volleyball games in high school and club (I highly doubt I would have done club volleyball if I had siblings). My parents also support my decision to be childfree, I know how I was even as a teen, I don't want to raise that haha

[@Jac527]

Honestly, having a younger sibling and forced into parenting because “it is your role as a good sibling” has made me get first hand experience of being like a parent and I would not recommend. It is the most exhausting, stressful and not worth experience, I did not get to live my childhood 🥲. So nope bye ✌️

[@levelupgoddess9289]

My mother had me as the only child for 16.5 years then she had my brother. I personally think she should have NEVER done that. She had me young and when she almost had her freedom she had me brother.🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ Hes a young teen now and she complains about stuff sometimes and I just lost and internally roll my eyes. I knew from age 10 that kids were annoying when my cousins would come and visit. I was very introverted so I’ll just sit and watch tv all day when I had no school. My cousins were the opposite. Always noisy and always had to be on the street. I couldn’t stand them. When I turned 16 I was very sure I could NOT do pregnancy. It grosses me out and I’m not gonna ruin my body with illness for a man or a kid. I know for a fact I would HATE being a parent because I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else but me. I also don’t see what I should spend my hard earned money on a child that didn’t help me make it. I KNOW I would be miserable being a mother so I said NO. Not doing it. I CHOSE to opt out. I’m a planner and when I say what my life would be I realize the ONLY person that would lose would be me.

[@PranaChi369]

Smart woman

[@DontTakeItLiteral]

😂😂😂 I got one and I’m done but I like your comment. You said why would I want to spend my money on a kid that didn’t help me make it 😭😭😭😭😂😂 lmfaoooo

[@Kelly_Explores]

I loved hearing from all of these women about their honest experiences. Yep. This reaffirms my desire not to have children. 🙂

[@vonnii1013]

One n done here!!! U couldn't pay me to have another

[@lalahobbes]

“When push comes to shove (laughs) you’re on your own.” Truer words have never been spoken.

[@SerenityWithSelf]

This was very nice for me to watch the moms who are one and done because my mom had these same reasons for me being an only child!

[@miriamspirit]

Women are way too much criticized these days, a fact! Having no children - criticized, habing 5 kids - criticized. Can we just leave women alone? Everybody is just different and we should embrace it

[@trerodriguez]

One and done. Single mom. I'm exhausted.

[@lencicollier6492]

That video of that Aussie family...was a "public service announcement"... for "Birth control"... FOREVER! 😱

[@tinai7857]

I‘m so glad, that this talked about more! I‘m 39 and I‘m None and Done. Having children is an absolute no go for me and my fiancé. And I really hope people will start to understand that having children is definitely not for everyone!

[@triggered577]

My thoughts. 1) In general, more women are opting to live childfree 2) A growing number of families are single child families, currently hovering around 20%- whereas it used to be 8-10% in the last generation 3) The majority of women who have had an abortion already had given birth to at least one child Literally none of this suggests motherhood is (in general) a fun, fulfilling experience. It’s one thing to say those of us who are childfree “don’t know what we are missing” but if what we are mossing is so great why is it that so many more of the women who DO become mothers only opt for one. And why is it more customary for the ones who have already experienced motherhood to abort a subsequent pregnancy? You would think if this such a rewarding experience people who have them would want more, not fewer. 🤷🏾‍♀️💀

[@lillierose5304]

So true. And a lot of women who have a second child only do it because of societal pressure to give the first child a sibling. They don't do it for themselves.

[@nikolove3088]

I am a ONE and DONER, and I do not regret it!

[@Nita_Vibes101]

After listening to that woman express her potential regret about having only one child due to concerns about siblings and the fear of missing out, I had a significant realization. This realization was further reinforced by watching another video by Destiny, in which women discussed the extreme challenges of motherhood. It’s clear that some women choose to have children for shallow, superficial, or selfish reasons. Instead of fixating on whether your child will have a brother or sister, it’s crucial to ask yourself if you’re realistically prepared, both financially and mentally, to handle another child. Consider whether you’ll still have the same amount of free time and the necessary support for an additional child. Many women make their lives difficult, and many problems could be avoided if they thought through their decisions more carefully.

[@jackiedesiraye]

I have 2 grown daughters. I regret having them. they were wonderful children and I love them so very much. but had i known i was going to be an emotionally unavailable mother because of my many traumas- i would not have had them. period.

[@DestinyUteh]

Thank you so much for being honest 🙏🏾🫶🫶🫶❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@bonecarego479]

As my baby turned 7 months...I lost my marriage...it took a toll on me...physically, emotionally, financially and by the time I got a divorce...it was a huge set back in my career and finances and my health...now as a single mother...I regret having my child as I feel I'm not able to give my child all that I wanted to or be there for my child the way I wanted to be...

[@Jstarzy920]

I don’t have the best relationship with my mom she has been toxic with me always. When I got pregnant and had my daughter she threatened yes had me scared for dear life to not have anymore kids she was adamant on cutting me off if I had more than one. Honestly that was the best thing she ever did for me in my whole entire life😂😂😂.I would forever be grateful for her ass for it. I love my one child I get to pour into her and be clear headed enough to break some generational issues. I see women struggling with more than one child and it ain’t pretty.

[@bequiet4636]

I love my daughter endlessly, but I would never give her a sibling. Especially since I am no longer with her father, I refuse to have multiple men father my kids. Also she is 18, I refuse to start over, I finally have some sense of freedom. I never wanted kids, I always intended to be child free.

[@justicevibes1252]

Everything you wrote is similar to my situation and how I feel. I agree with one and done. I also intended to be childfree and it didn't work out for me.

[@kristina-insitu2523]

I stopped at one because raising my daughter alone was the HARDEST thing I ever had to do, and I was NOT looking to rinse and repeat.

[@renhoek3687]

I am 61 years old. I had one and I was done! Don't regret it for a minute. I had so much fun with my daughter as she was growing up, and she's still a fabulous and close part of my life. She's married now and turning 30 this month. They have decided no kids for them for many very logical reasons. Part of me will miss being a grandma, but the other part of me is just ecstatic that she is giving it full thought. Parenting is not for the faint at heart. I am a nanny, so I still have kids in my life, and it's perfect. My mom and dad are both still living, they had three children. I've watched the agony when my sister died in her mid 50s from alcoholism and my brother in his 60s has had a major mental health crisis. I've loved my siblings so much, but losing them and seeing my parents lose their kids was awful. Don't let anybody shame you for any decision regarding having kids that you make, as long as you are mindful about it.

[@vminhope3040]

I almost had a kid with someone that wasn’t worthy of me and I don’t regret my decision. I was barely out of high school and knew that wasn’t gonna work out for me and I made a huge mistake and caught it early and I would have been struggling now If I had that fetus. We both agreed on the decision. It was still sad and I felt guilty at first but realized now it was the best choice. I’m 27 and financially stressed out by myself.

[@Dontbuglee]

yes same here 🫶🏽 I am proud of us

[@Beavis74-r3q]

So you had an abortion? Why do women think it's ok to murder their own children? Of course you felt guilty you killed your child

[@Beavis74-r3q]

​@@Dontbugleewow your proud of that fact?

[@shopece8807]

My favorite cousin is a one and done mother. She wanted a boy and a girl but decided she was done after her son. He's a 5-year-old nightmare. 🤭

[@LD-tk7qf]

I have been telling younger women this for decades! I’m glad others are speaking out! I’m going to say it again. Don’t get married and don’t have children!!!!!you will destroy your life

[@gjinkalla23]

Thank you very much for the honesty.

[@EadsB7002]

Yes I am so glad the younger women are hearing the most honest take on it all and making more informed choices, rather than just following the crowd/society’s ideals.

[@officialjocelyn9108]

I have one (she's my avatar/thumbnail?). All the things the ladies are saying are true: I can focus on giving her the best life possible. If I had more children, my finances wouldn't be where I want them to be, and I could not imagine how to share the attention that she alone needs. It's easier to plan and move quickly with one child--you can show up almost anywhere inconspicuously with one child.

[@krissy_elle]

I'm 39, never had children or married, and surgically sterilized. There were times when I legit longed for the romanticized fairy tale that these ladies are referring to. But my biological family is deeply dysfunctional and abusive and I knew that I never wanted to put myself in a postion to be at their mercy (no contact since 2010). I also knew that as much as I love my friends, I couldn't guarantee that they'd be able to give me the necessary support for 18 years. I got some push back for my decision to get my tubes removed but now I'm so glad I didn't give in to that push back.

[@clairenoire3176]

I'm proud of you

[@krissy_elle]

@@clairenoire3176 thank you

[@Mochalolo1928]

I’m 33 and one and done… I hate when people say “it takes a village” NO IT DOESN’T, IT TAKES MONEY!!!!! It’s just me and my partner living 10 hours from our closest relatives and we’re 100% fine BUT we have great income so if we need someone to watch our son we can hire someone to do so. We take fun vacations with no help and our son isn’t an issue or hindrance- it adds to the fun to watch him explore and see new things. My advice to everyone: only have a baby if you can afford 2 extra people on your income. If you can’t and you want kids, improve your life before you add an innocent baby to it. You will regret making them struggle along with you. And that’s not to say only rich people can have kids bc I’m FAR from rich lol just budget well and have a 2 income household.

[@EadsB7002]

This is reality that so many don’t want to face. I always say unless you are quite wealthy, are mentally/emotionally stable, AND have a very strong support system (helpful spouse/ family), then think twice and think again about having them. I’ve seen so many friends and peers struggle unnecessarily with raising multiple kids they can’t afford & don’t have the amount of support needed.

[@ChocolateCramPuff]

Most people aren't wealthy and over half of marriages end in divorce. Depending on a man is a bad idea. Depending on the village is always the safer and most natural choice for a society. We need to focus on extended family and kinship, not out here trying to find the perfect husband. There is no perfect husband for majority of women. The nuclear family was a failed experiment. It's time to move on and stop pretending everyone can have that pretty white picket fence bougie lifestyle.

[@kristynaw28]

I gave your comment a thumps up because your experience is what defines you! You are entitled to your opinion based on your experience. No validation needed! The thumbs up simply means I see you whether I agree or not. Your comment was well thought out!

[@IloveJesus777j77]

Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.​@@kristynaw28

[@teacher9882]

Girl we the same. My husband and I have done well for ourselves and planned for our baby but wow we now know the reality of having a child. Looks like we will have one as done. 👍

[@GoRogue101]

Quality over Quantity. Period!

[@KiraBKADestroyerOfWorlds]

I don't know enough about them as parents to actually know, but my impression from the video is that their older son's behavior is a direct result of how they are (or are not) parenting, because chile...absolutely not.

[@theladynextdoor313]

I immediately thought the same. They have no control and it’s because of their crappy parenting.

[@kia.203]

No, thank you. Lol. Honestly, with the stories ive heard from both social media and my close circle, im good on children. I appreciate women that are honest amd blunt about their experiences

[@jwesson30]

TEAM one and done here! I've heard some of my close people say, I should've done like you and stopped at one. I wouldn't do pregnancy again for anything in this world. I absolutely HATED being pregnant, but I ended up with a good baby girl though.

[@clara4942]

Very content being childfree. The sheer cost calculations alone would give me massive panic attacks. Once I gave myself permission to be childfree, SO much anxiety and stress melted away. I don’t know how people do it these days. The expectation that women will be massively overworked to the point of breakdown and that’s just normal makes me furious. No kids, no husband and no mental exhaustion and I’m very happy.

[@D.I.V.A.Journey3758]

I'm a one and done mama AND IM GLAD ABOUT IT!!! She is a senior this year and I know i couldn't do this more than once! NOPE!!!

[@Crystal_curls85]

When I was young I wanted 4 kids. I had two. One at 23 and one at 24. At 38 I can say I DO NOT want anymore kids. I’m good lol 🤣 I don’t think I’d be able to handle it at this age. I’m not chasing anyone anywhere period.

[@krishnagondhea7428]

I had my first and only child to date at 38. I wouldn’t know what it’s like having a child at a younger age.

[@StaceyTong-y6e]

I was 1 and done for 16 years then had my 2nd, Its just like having 1 again and i love it. I couldn't have 2 little ones at the same time.

[@Its_Jasso]

Motherhood is something else. Some days I have mixed feelings about having a second child. My first one was quite easy so I know round two might be a rollercoaster lol

[@MsQueenLongBeach]

I have listened to the opinions of mother's who say one & done. Some only child have a lot of weight (not literally) put on them, "PRESSURE", very high expectations, to be all that the parent was not, after all there's only one of you so you have got to be ALL OF THAT! I saw a relative, who had 1 child for about 10 years. I saw the parent, dote, cater, spoil, put pressure on their kid to be the next NOBEL peace prize winner, you name it! into their one & only kid. Then when the only kid was 10, mom got pregnant & now there are 2! I was a witness to seeing all of that weight, (not literal weight), "PRESSURE", extremely high expectation roll off of the former only kid shoulders 😊! The parent did not put all of the weight of the world on the former child like they were doing. The former only kid was happy to have the baby come along. I witnessed the parent now having to focus on the new baby & now two kids, it seemed like they were more "relaxed". Now the 2 kids are adults & a big help to one another. They are 2 brothers, yes they are 10 years apart, they are brothers & buddies. So to a child there can be so many lifelong positives. Having cousins is not the same as a sibling. Your mom is your mom, but their aunt. Not the same. Considering later down the road, when mom & dad are gone, having a sibling (sister or brother), there's another someone who can really be a real great help to one another. There may not be a lot of positives for a woman who is one & done. However, there's a lot of positives to having a sibling or siblings for a child. As a child, "instantly" there's someone to share life with, fun, socialization, can play together inside the house & outside. No waiting till friends or cousins come over.

[@PeiPeisMom]

I'm 58, was one and done with my daughter who's now 30. She doesn't want kids, married a man who had a vasectomy. It's delightful. And honestly, I am all for anyone who wants to breed. Go for it. But we're done over here; I have enough to do taking care of my grand-kitties 😂

[@shyamala.kishori]

Grand-kitties. That sounds awesome!

[@miss.prissss]

I met my husband at 21. I’m 31 now (husband is 36) and still no children. People find it weird, I hear, see and feel the judgement, but we’re still not ready to have a child because we are not financially stable and if I have a child, I would want it to be comfortable. I also realized that the fact that my husband stays scared to have a child scares ME. 😂 our families are pressuring ME (not so much him) to not wait too long for a baby, but yeah I will def NOT bring a child into the world so he can struggle with us. My dream is to be a mom - im the oldest in my family, im VERY maternal, but i love my future child enough to want the best for him/her.

[@chelzchelzz19]

My dad swears I need to hurry up and have one. If he brings it up again I will SNAP on him.

[@theseeker4700]

And you should.

[@user-sn1se8kh7z]

I absolutely hated being an only child. It’s one of the loneliest things that you can go through. I lived under two “professionals” who were some of the most logical and unromantic people that you will ever meet. The only time I was around kids was when I was playing sports or going to public school. On the flip side most kids felt stupid and immature which made it hard to make friends. I felt like I was 40 in HS.

[@ilmionomeeclaudia7185]

The support system is so important, my mom was about to leave her work to take care of me bc daycare was shit, but my older sister (she was 18 at the time) stepped in so my parents could work. I had basically three people taking care of me !!! (My father has always been very present! He’s the oldest sibling in his family so he knew how to take care of a baby)

[@bodhisattva2348]

That 1 girl who was like "this is the beginning of the end" 😂😂😂

[@Destiny-MommaTchannel]

It's important to know urself and do wat is best for you not wat society wants 😉

[@d011p4rtz]

being a single mom in a relationship and no help is so hard 🥲 I love her more than anything but good grief..

[@9443-c5b]

These days most people only have kids so they can use them as accessories on Instagram!

[@minahtheweirdo]

I was one and done but my son got lonely so i had another son and now im done. They have an amazing bond and will always have each other after mummy and daddy are dead. Sibling is better than a random friend. A sibling is forever constant company for my son ❤

[@STLDiagnostic]

Im glad that being honest about being a parent is becoming normal. Kids can be great! Kids can also be very difficult. It's not a moral failing to dislike parenting. I dont enjoy being around children. I love my two kids. But I didnt enjoy parenting for myriad reasons. Mine are grown now and we have a great relationship. They both still live at home because the economy is crap and bc my oldest is profoundly disabled from birth and will require our care until we die. Every extra penny earned is saved for his care after we die. We arent saving for retirement, because we just will not be able to retire, ever. we will never be empty nesters. My hubby and I have been on exactly 1 vacation together without the kids in over 25 years. We have changed diapers every day for over 25 years and we will continue to change diapers every day for the next 30 or so years left on our natural life. Plus he suffers from pain, frustration, inability to communicate, lots of invasive medical procedures, seizures... Yeah, I regret having kids. I dont regret my kids...just the situation I brought them into and the life that we have forced on them.

[@veronicadare9047]

Thank you!! I have a boy he’s 15 I totally wouldn’t have made it without my sisters help. I’m happy with my boy. ❤ One and done.

[@nikkids4266]

This isn’t regret. This realism!! I’m not even gonna get into the narrative that say women have to sacrifice their life, their body, and career to be deemed a “worthy” woman in society. Nope. Not gonna touch that BS. But I was one and don’t 18 yes ago. I was not someone who wanted children. Mine happened accidentally and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I knew I didn’t want more. I left an abusive marriage. Fought to regain me go back to college and get a PhD and raise a stellar kid. After almost 16 yrs alone. I finally found a great man. He’s child free. We love it this way. We love my kid. But not all people are meant to have children or have a lot. There’s a big sacrifice that happens, not just to the woman. But to the whole unit (assume it’s a “traditional” household). We should ALL be mindful of having kids. No shame in it. I’m so proud of this generation for acknowledging AND voicing this 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@churchsbiscuits]

A lot of people don’t understand the difference between raising kids and just taking care of a child. Having one kid allows you to be a more present parent instead of just meeting the basic needs of multiple children.

[@ramantuitoka8941]

Unpopular opinion but oh well. I think people should focus more on giving themselves the life they didn't have before they turn around and do it for a new little person. Its cringey to hear this stuff because at the end of the day IT IS A CHOICE. I CHOOSE to give myself the life I didn't have as a child not break my back to do it for someone else that most likely will leave me hanging to live their best life that I broke my back to provide. We are raising children that don't know how to give back or at least give a shit. So childfree is the better option for a little while. There are many other blessings in life other than children.

[@Childfree334]

Parents are very entitled people. YOU seem to have the same mentality they do. The expectation that children OWE parents for doing their jobs is ridiculous at best and narcissistic at worst. If you CHOOSE to have children, the legal and moral expectation is that you mentally, emotionally, and financially provide for them until they reach the legal age of 18. Those children owe a parent ZILCH in return for that decision. They don't ask to be born. People choose that burden. But not me.

[@PettyIsMyMiddleName]

💯 ❤

[@PettyIsMyMiddleName]

@@Childfree334 So what if she feels entitled. She made up in her mind that she doesn’t want kids However, the entitlement of parents who actually bring a child into this world for their selfish reasons, is not even on the same level. She can be entitled and selfish but at least she’s not bringing children into the world. Period.

[@allsmiles3281]

Notice how the mothers always absorb the shock. Totally not fair. Listen up ladies! Don’t let anyone hoodwink. Sending love to all the moms! And also dads being true single dads.

[@theunknownbachatero8899]

I always wonder HOW it is that they DID NOT know, prior to having kids, that it would be difficult. Ever since I was a teenager I saw that with acquaintances & relatives. There was NO ONE that could convince me otherwise.