Dissolving Reactivity -- Common Sticking Points

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Simply Always Awake

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 93

@TPot1222 3 ай бұрын

“The Gap”= the place where righteous indignation goes to die.

@joebonnell1024 3 ай бұрын

Ouch! This hits a little too close to home! 😂

@TPot1222 3 ай бұрын

@@joebonnell1024 agreed! While Angelo was talking about it, thoughts were going wild with resistance to ever coming in contact with this “gap”- the place where the self will never be “right”. Yikes

@NudgedByGrace 3 ай бұрын

There is a treasure of a book called “Letters of the Scattered Brotherhood” by Mary Strong that is a great companion if you’ve gone through realization, honeymoon, done a big chunk of shadow work and find yourself dealing with a few sticky issues that pull you back or cause reactivity. It’s old so there is no audiobook nor kindle version, but it is really powerful. Hope it’s as helpful to someone out there as it has been for me 😊

@myrtepyrte 3 ай бұрын

Hi dear Angelo, I've noticed you've been referring to your playlists more frequently lately, and I find that super helpful! With the sheer number of videos and playlists you have, it can sometimes be challenging to determine which ones are the most useful to listen to. Your mentions about what each playlist contains and when it's best to refer to them are great, thank you!

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

@MidwestBen101 3 ай бұрын

i like when you mention what fetter this is for, it seems silly for someone who hasn’t broke the first fetter doing work on 7th fetter haha. i only say that is i used to do that with your videos and watch them and nothing happened :)

@tyvrymch 3 ай бұрын

Good stuff Angelo Been practicing this for some years now. I'm in recovery and this is step 6 and 7.

@silentsabbath 3 ай бұрын

this is so good. the urgency that tries to overtake me and pulls me away from myself has lessened so much. urgency is a red flag, and abandoning myself is its "goal". it is such a relief to know I don't have to listen!

@BarryKilzz 3 ай бұрын

I've been dealing with reactivity all my life. Thanks to Angelo, I've discovered TRE. Even my wife remarked that i seem calmer. Ever vigilant.

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

Wonderful!

@Buddhishgirl 3 ай бұрын

The tricks of the mind are so subtle and sneaky. And yet the mind is doing all this in search for something it could get by not doing all that. 😳 That's how confused we are! But the judgment and the resentment I had sometimes towards people for some of their ways are dissolving, because now I know they behave in such a way because they are completely trapped in their egoic self, and all I see is how confused human beings are. And this brings about a lot of compassion. The clash between who we think we are or need to be and the truth that lingers deep down inside of us but we don't remember creates so much confusion and suffering. I mean, awakening is hard but I wouldn't trade any of it for more confusion and suffering.

@TheBhannah 3 ай бұрын

It takes courage to look into the flaws of the personality and conditioning .

@louisaclarke752 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely priceless. Thank you SO much Angelo, this is exquisitely timely for me and a guidance I will return to again and again. So appreciate all you do.

@sun-ship 3 ай бұрын

Good to get this clarification of "the gap".

@ProfoundlyForlorn 3 ай бұрын

This came at a good time. It's been getting to the point lately that this one issue I've had has been staring me in the face everywhere I look and I can't seem to let it go or resolve it. This exercise has helped me see the connection about how I was made to feel unsafe at a point in life and how I connected that experience with later experiences to the point that I could no longer trust close relationships, or if I felt this situation ostensibly arising my fight or flight kicks in. I do think there's an inescapable uncontrollable and unpredictable element in everyone and everything that I have a hard time accepting because of this unsafe and painful potential. Thanks.

@ProfoundlyForlorn 3 ай бұрын

At the same time there's a part of me that feels like I don't even need a story behind an emotion, but I'm not sure I'm fully there yet.

@clairedot657 3 ай бұрын

Same. My flight or fight (and sometimes freeze) kicks in pretty easily, not just because of my childhood, but because I have ADHD (which is more attention overload, than a deficit). I often feel unsafe, because I feel overwhelmed because my brain takes so much in. I don’t know when these are triggers to work on or when I should be just accepting how I feel or when I need a reasonable adjustment. Or whether it’s all beyond that. It’s really hard, but so much stuff related to my ADHD keeps coming up. I was only diagnosed last year at 45, so it’s all quite new. Sorry to hijack your post. I just wanted to say ‘I get it’, and you explained what I was feeling very well.

@ProfoundlyForlorn 3 ай бұрын

@@clairedot657 It's okay, you didn't hijack anything, thanks for sharing and I understand what you mean about navigating what to address and what to let go. I hope it all gets easier for you.

@clairedot657 3 ай бұрын

Thank you. I had no kids around today, which makes it easier in the ‘gap’ as there was lots of crying needed. I hope it gets easier for you too. 🙂 Unless of course where you need to go isn’t easy, but then I hope that it gets easier after that.

@ProfoundlyForlorn 3 ай бұрын

@@clairedot657 that sounds like a good release, thank you for your kind words

@HiluT 3 ай бұрын

Beautifully articulated ❤Thank you for mentioning to stay until no need to want to leave the uncomfortableness 😊I just learned that, I tend to leave once the trigger comes down a bit 😅

@koumidoucette6871 3 ай бұрын

Oh! The discomfort does not have to go away! 🎉🎉🎉

@klccmd 3 ай бұрын

Very helpful. Feels like an Energetic Staring Contest with reactivity. And I have to last for eternity.....

@dockaren76 3 ай бұрын

So helpful. I notice the trigger and then the feeling and then the feeling of shame for feeling that way. The proverbial second arrow in Buddhism. I guess you can use the same tactics with all the layers of feelings.

@judithharrington8144 3 ай бұрын

This comes at the most perfect moment....wow! So very helpfull........

@juliesheard2122 3 ай бұрын

This talk has clarified what my zen teacher has been trying to get through to me!! So thankyou

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

Welcome

@peterlangbridge4628 Ай бұрын

This was extremely useful for me in the light of a recent experience. Thank you.

@suzannekamminbaron 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this video, Angelo! Chris told me about it and she's right; it's so clear when you describe it and the way you do resonates with me so much more than looking for a "button". I feel I can proceed now with confidence. 🙏🙏🙏

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@MelFinehout 3 ай бұрын

Have you ever made a “in case of emergency: break glass!” Kinda video. Perhaps it would help a lot of people to have a video designed to guide them through the reactivity in real time. I feel pretty sure one person at the least would appreciate it. :) Having someone “there” while you’re trying to get through a tough “episode” would be so helpful. It could be a few different ones, for the usual barriers or just one for general bursts of reactivity. My intuition is that this would be very helpful. It also seems like having the simple intention that “when ____(reaction) then I will _____(listen to video)” gives the mind something to grasp to that will pull it back out when it encapsulates itself, so to speak. (Nothing is really happening I know, but not when I’m reactive)

@ptanji Ай бұрын

There are groups online that might be helpful. I was “triggered” yesterday and sent out an SOS in the middle of the “storm”. The advice was to do exactly as Angelo talks about here. It was helpful but this is helpful today as I’m still resonating from the sting.

@renko9067 3 ай бұрын

This is brilliant

@CharlesGodwin-ck2se 3 ай бұрын

When experience contains awareness there is chaos, bondage, reaction. When awareness contains experience there is order, Sovereignty, response. Self-observation exposes negative reactive patterns. Self-remembering (being aware of being aware) collapses them.

@Autumn_Way 3 ай бұрын

Saving this one. Thanks Angelo!

@watcherofvideoswasteroftim5788 3 ай бұрын

That hit the spot, thanks

@johnalexir7634 3 ай бұрын

I bought all the new clothes I needed, then I realized "It's time to leave the Gap". Sorry, humor (such as it is) is a major coping mechanism for me, and reactivity, sometimes quite erratic, has definitely been a long-term issue. These techniques are useful; I've tried it a bit just tonight - this is new to me - and there definitely are gaps to step into, with some discomfort, but it is a good exercise in being present. It reminds me a little bit of some of the Fourth Way exercises (George Gurdjieff).

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

😂😂😎

@nkp1656 3 ай бұрын

There are times when the topic of reactivity can be the need to set a boundary with others. So far, it has seemed like feeling the gap fully then allows for setting a boundary more easily and skillfully. I think this can be a subtle area because just because reactivity is seen and felt hasn’t meant that I don’t need to set boundaries. This might be a good topic.

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

@@nkp1656 yes that would be a very good topic for a video. Great point.

@BagpussTFG 3 ай бұрын

What do you do if you cannot "self trigger"? When I sit down and think about the most triggering things to me I get absolutely nothing. Just get thoughtless thought space, presence, stillness. Yet there are definitely things that trigger me, I can absolutely Feel a massive sensation down the midline when someone comes up behind me and dings their bicycle bell for example or if my landlord suddenly turns up unannounced my whole system can go into a full panic. When I sit down and think about these things I get absolutely zero.

@randomanda 3 ай бұрын

Have you done much meditating because this is a common problem. You have to get into that stillness that’s really become a type of bypassing until it breaks up.

@BagpussTFG 3 ай бұрын

@@randomanda I have done probably far too much meditating over the last 13 years. Came through the Vassor route, via Daniel Ingram/MCTB and with the encouragement of my currency teacher has recently stopped meditating. Can you expand on what you mean a little bit please? Do you forgive the stupid typos, Blind, using speech to text and it will take forever to go back and edit them all on my phone! I think it's basically understandable…

@randomanda 3 ай бұрын

@@BagpussTFG it’s possible that your mind is just trained to go quiet when you go inwards instead of offering up the thoughts/beliefs connected to what you’re looking for. What my teacher suggested for these situations is to think about the thing you are working on and find the sensation in the body. It will be there. You then have to just keep at it until watching the sensation brings up the belief/s. This may be quite difficult and take a while. The evidence is that you experience triggers in daily life, so there’s definitely stuff there for you to find. Hopefully this is useful to you. :)

@BagpussTFG 3 ай бұрын

@@randomanda Thanks for this. Whenb i try it i just cant feel any sensations either. Maybe they are really subtle? In the moment they can be truly enormous though! I will sit with it for a while and see if i can detect anything at all...

@randomanda 3 ай бұрын

@@BagpussTFG Yeah it might take some time to get your mind to give up the goods. You can always work with whatever’s actually happening in the moment, it’s just usually a whole lot harder than when you can do it in your memory/imagination.

@tyvrymch 3 ай бұрын

We pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action(sit in the gap without reacting and looking at what is happening in me)

@Sig-h9k 3 ай бұрын

Hey Angelo! I just listened to a video of yours where you say something like "You already ARE awakening" Ive really felt this!! Truly, everything/everyone serving ONE awakening. At least it seems like that to me. And im struggling with sleeping and it is scaring me and ailing me so much. I feel like I am at a point where im ready to work with a teacher one on one. can you point me towards a teacher? OR maybe this life as it is is all that is necessary. hehe.. But im terrified.. oh man..

@KlausandKlaus 3 ай бұрын

9:00 "But if there's significant reactivity, it's gonna have very very strong effects on you and people around you in deeper realisation, because you won't be able to hide it anymore." There is a whole new level of pain entering now that the hiding is not possible anymore. Gonna go feel that now, shit.

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

@@KlausandKlaus yep , BUT so much more can be done about it and much faster now, if you’re up to the challenge.

@filipsigur6179 3 ай бұрын

It's funny, noticing the gap has been a natural thing to do for me when I started my spiritual practice. Question, can you do this with everything, not just unwanted triggers? A flower could be a trigger for wanting to smell it...I kinda watch those gaps too.

@mitrarashidi4945 3 ай бұрын

Thanks Angelo. I have applied this to my addiction to tobacco. In remained in the gap before rolling another one. All I feel is a very intense sucking sensation in my mouth. While ago I didn’t touch a cigarette for 5 months. I did an inquiry with a coach and fear came up and I was back to smoking any suggestions? 🙏💜🙏

@HunnyBunnyEtAl 3 ай бұрын

Poem that just arose in gap as distraction AND description😂 The Exquisite Corpse possesses nothing, replete Humiliation is absurd in love, complete As agony cannot be found that kicks and screams Nor then or later, in empty dreamer’s dreams Find me anyway goads Trickster’s lies For an exquisite corpse only loves what dies

@augustusbetucius2931 Ай бұрын

Fetters 4 and 5, per Kevin, as well as Christiane Michelberger, Todd and Pernille Lent Damore. Just for sake of being thorough.

@Sig-h9k 3 ай бұрын

Hey Angelo!! im just hearing you say in another video "the deeper realisation goes, the more you see: Everything is litterally waking you up"! Im like YES!!! Everything serving one awakening! im at the point where I think it would serve me to work 1v1 with someoneeeee.. can you point me in a direction? :D Or maybe this is all like who is writing these words.. what is thiss...

@Sig-h9k 3 ай бұрын

It feels like just opening my arms to everything!!!

@clairedot657 20 күн бұрын

Is it the case that trauma responses are things that are so strong on one side of the gap. That you might have to do some trauma (IFS, somatic work, TRE) work before you can sit in the gap? I think with some things I fly right past the gap. Like there are protective emotions and beliefs there that need to be felt so they can calm down and I can find the gap. I’m pretty sure I’ve found the gap with a smaller trigger. And I’ve been surprised how intense it feels and understand why I’ve been avoiding it my whole life!

@Awarewolf-sc 3 ай бұрын

🙏🙏🙏

@HunnyBunnyEtAl 3 ай бұрын

Back in we go…

@juliesheard2122 3 ай бұрын

Agony, especially between midnight and 5am.

@georgesonm1774 3 ай бұрын

One question - is this something to be done at a very particular stage necessarily, and not at others? Like, if I'm not actually sure if I've had a full-on "first awakening", but nonetheless I do practice a lot of "letting go" / somatic experiencing type meditations - can this still go possibly too far, and possibly screw up my 'emotional compass' or whatever? (Or become traumatizing in itself)? Thx

@julia.rhiannon 3 ай бұрын

It sounds like you're familiar with Somatic Experiencing therapy, there's also Acceptance & Commitment Therapy or Internal Family Systems therapy or Hakomi therapy or Focusing therapy. All of these modalities are designed to help with this kind of psychological work with triggers. You can find a trained therapist to guide you if you're worried about trauma, and you don't need to have had an awakening for them to be effective. I think it is possible to use these techniques unskillfully and dissociate instead of really let go, so I think it's wise to get professional guidance and to make sure you balance it with lots of self-compassion, loving-kindness, self-care practices etc.

@georgesonm1774 3 ай бұрын

@@julia.rhiannon thank you! I'll take all that into consideration

@jonathanwoodvincent 3 ай бұрын

Do you have any suggestions regarding reactivity to sexual desire, fixations, triggers, insecurities, etc? Thanks

@EARTOEARTOEARTOEAR 3 ай бұрын

Desire is an agitated state. Meaning there is an aversion to direct experience. Oftenly with sexual desire there may be an underlying emotion seeing as s*x/organisatie numbs the amygdala (emotional part of brain)

@Bogdan_MSK 3 ай бұрын

I have the same question about sexual desire as well I haven’t heard from Angelo about this topic For me sexual desire is very confusing and complex topic It seems basic and natural, but there are so many fixations/avoiding and coping mechanisms that can be intertwined with basic biology I had a sex addiction as well Maybe that’s why for me this topic is very charged Angelo please unpack the topic in your future videos if you have something to say🙏🙏🙏

@TPot1222 3 ай бұрын

@@Bogdan_MSK I feel like Frank Yang talks about this quite a bit. May be worth a gander over to his page if you feel so inclined :)

@ruxandracojocaru114 Ай бұрын

A question : Isn't the reaction a "part " of THIS? Why manipulating it , change it ? I found that reaction most of the time occurs spontaneously, naturally ( action - reaction ...Newton ) . Is a happening in my knowing of it. The resistance is not the reaction but the mind's commentary about the happening . Is mind saying that should be different . In other words ...what I saw in the experience ( anger because I am a disappointment)that there is a stimulus-reaction- and mind's commentary ( should/ shouldn't) comes in after when takes ownership of the happening . In this order . What am I missing here ? Thank you Angelo

@josephmitchell6796 3 ай бұрын

This is such a spiritual money shot! Only question, where will it land?

@TPot1222 3 ай бұрын

My money’s on “nowhere” 😂❤

@Tangentbordsblues 2 ай бұрын

What you describe happen many times a day with people with ocd

@julianthejanitor5531 3 ай бұрын

Angelo, do you think this can be done without fully breaking the First Fetter? I feel quite drawn to work on this, but I am not sure if I have seen through the separate self fully. I have seen through it quite a few times for minutes to days, and can even reproduce those no-self "experiences" somewhat reliably, but no-self is not a living realization, and I somehow don't feel super-drawn to breaking the first fetter with more effort.

@SimplyAlwaysAwake 3 ай бұрын

@@julianthejanitor5531 I’ll never say never. But it’s much harder to truly break reactivity.

@johnklessinger560 3 ай бұрын

So does reactivity apply to getting anxious from thoughts?

@WarriorNurturer-vg8fd 3 ай бұрын

The gap is the place where others fold into my co-creation or their energy unfolds to destroy them.

@Pamela_Sinai 3 ай бұрын

"The meek shall inherit the earth." All of this seems designed to "thresh" us of our grandiosity, our designs, our discontents, so that we can be perfect instruments of an utterly ineffable universe. (I can't eff it, anyway.) I kind of wish I knew what we were doing. Like, are we little yeast cells making bread for a great dragon? Does it even matter? (What does "matter" mean?) I'm pretty unmoored these days. Just letting myself be threshed. What else can I do? It's a pretty miserable dead end for sure the other way, so... This little rat picks up again and carries on walking through the maze. (I recognize this is a lot of negative thinking. I guess my negative thinking parts are still working themselves out. They don't want false or toxic positivity, and I have no authority to offer them anything else. Maybe the universe will eventually. Maybe not. I don't know sh*t.)