BM on The Selfishness & Selflessness Spectrum | GET REAL S3 Ep. #32

[@starryyynighttt]

It would be so much fun to have all the hosts together for an episode!! Peniel, Ashley, BM, pH-1, and Junny.

[@haleznz]

It’s Peniel

[@starryyynighttt]

@@haleznz my bad 🥲

[@lolalazovic1950]

Harry and Junny are on tour 😅

[@chikicutay9191]

Ohhh plsssss

[@CarshenaDeldig]

Make this happen pleaseee!

[@mahmudayesminlipi9308]

Am I the only one who thinks this trio are the best hosts for these show?

[@KrisC.]

Agree

[@maria199736]

Junny is a good host too. Both trios have different energies that's only natural. I think it's kind of inconsiderate to say that cuz Junny might see it

[@giselagarza6293]

I agree

[@niimahrabiu5815]

I actually like Junny more no than BM too

[@NoraRez]

You can definitely see how this show came to be in the first place…they’ve been good friends for years and it shows. They’re super comfortable around each other and so the conversation flows naturally. The others hosts add a different dynamic too and I love them as well. I miss this trio a lot though !

[@MaryGaileDSingh]

we should have harry, bm, ashley, and peniel all together in one frame again

[@isra_arsi]

we should add junny too

[@haleznz]

It’s Peniel

[@karanda7832]

Junny too

[@k-poppersince0951]

Who’s pinel?

[@honey10tionup17]

Pinel😭

[@l_o123]

Harry last week and BM this week?? Dive kicking it old school this month!! I'm stoked for this episode

[@오마이뎨뎨]

Can we get a Bambam appearance on how to save money lol

[@nessrineboukhari0167]

AmaZing suggestion !!

[@siahts2sena]

Need that

[@dibamansur4843]

Not from a rich person

[@shtapan5454]

22:30 Ashley - "Can you think of a time when you were selfless?". Peniel - "No"... About Peniel being selfless: He literally is selfless more than selfish with his BTOB members. They call him "Yes-Man"! Y'all should see ANY BTOB stage, he is the one picking up the water bottles to give the members some water before he drinks it himself, he CONSTANTLY takes care of them about food, giving them the food or snacks before eating himself, comforting them when they need it, makes sure they don't fall off the stage, caries them off the stage LITERALLY on his back when they are sick. When the stage gets messy MID-CONCERT he starts cleaning up so no one trips over. He was seen walking an older lady across the streets. He's super concerned when a member needs anything. No matter how little sleep he gets the night before, he always attends his members solo concerts/musicals. In the latest concert (BTOB's 10th year anniversary concert) in new years, he said in one of the ments that the reason he's still in Korea (and not in Chicago where his family is), is because of BTOB and Melody. There's like a tone more and probably better examples that I could've written, but these are on the top of my head rn. All I've known is Peniel being selfless and caring. He's so selfless it kinda worried me that he would be a pushover, I think the BTOB members have expressed the same worries in the past, but I'm glad hearing his friends say that he knows when to say no! Love you Peniel! 💙

[@luro2122]

BM!!!! Stop!! you guys are spoiling us... first back to back Harry episode and now Matilda!!?

[@kolenwu4850]

i was waiting for someone to call BM his real name assksk

[@nirjanayak3702]

Yessss...march has been good because of get real❤❤❤❤💘💘🙌🙌🧡🧡💙💙

[@bobthebuilderday6leader]

Right, the production/casting team has been going off. Bless them!

[@janvdb9258]

He let it slip he'll be back next week!

[@luro2122]

@@janvdb9258 YES!

[@andhiniretno3886]

peniel from his friends pov : he is brutally honest, knows when to say no, storng about his opinions peniel from managers and members pov : he is a 'yes man' (says yes to everything)

[@curiositykilledthekat]

he puts himself first for everything EXCEPT the group, it's admirable. btob and the members always come first for peniel, bc he always wants to do what's best for the group and believes the members know what that is. but even then i believe he always states his opinion, like with joining kingdom he stated his opinion but said he'd do what the members decided. peniel's truly the best.

[@usandyouyouandwebtobandmelody]

I think for BTOB it's because they knew each other's likes and dislikes bc they've been living together since debut days until 2016. i also believe they have honest talks to make their team works. And i think Peuni is the yes man just in BTOB standards even if he is expressive of his opinions bc other members are more expressive of their opinions like Changsub. And everyone in the team are all kind and understanding to each other that Peuni said they are his family. They takes care each other, protect each other.

[@cindhytheresia841]

@@curiositykilledthekat agree with you! he put others first when it comes to BTOB. he loves his family so much.

[@adelepenguin13]

The way that BM keeps up with Bambam’s KZbin channel 🥺💚

[@1989snb]

My igot7 heart was so happy ❤💚

[@jgak071048]

they need to get bambam on the show

[@Sehrii-21]

Really want bambam on this show

[@Justamob_]

Plus he just had a comeback

[@theyoutubersfromdenmark8143]

@@Justamob_he’s gonna be on the daebak show - so him coming to get real isn’t too far fetched an idea

[@DelaraPlayfield]

Poor Peniel, he’s still in pain but he always push himself to dance and do the concert. Hope you have a speedy speedy recovery uri Peuni Peuni

[@hanna_fdhl]

23:50 finally we have an episode with BM again bcs I kinda miss the OG interactions 🥲 BM : I hate snakes. Ashley : Does anyone like snakes? Nobody likes snakes. Peniel : Kevin (The Boyz) does. Ashley : Oh yeahh, he has a real snake. BM : Real snake is okay. Peniel : I dunno, real snakes are kinda freak me out.

[@curiositykilledthekat]

i love it when their conversations take a turn like this lmaoo

[@priscillas4722]

Lol Ashley pretending to be the needy girlfriend had BM sweating 😅😅😅

[@StirredNotShakenPlz]

And Paniel having instant comebacks to everything she said haha

[@priscillas4722]

@@StirredNotShakenPlz This isn’t his first time! 😂

[@lychee23]

what about all 5 hosts in one ep together? eh? sounds so good

[@rahjahknows]

In case the word "selfish" is too negative or incendiary for people, another way to phrase it is self preservation. Often times people don't know when to say no, so they end up helping others at the expense of their own mental health and well-being.

[@ferniverse1]

I agree with you. I would also say assertive instead of selfish. Good discussion with these three.

[@OhMiOhMyMelon]

Could you get Mark Tuan on the podcast? I would love to hear how he's doing and his take on things

[@user-got7hypen]

Omggg yesss please bring marktuan

[@olugboyeopeyemi2428]

I love Mark but he is so vanilla

[@user-got7hypen]

@@olugboyeopeyemi2428 vanilla??

[@olugboyeopeyemi2428]

@@user-got7hypenyh don't know what it means? if you have watched his American interviews...you would know what I am talking about

[@rururandria7131]

Peniel: "My memory isn't that good" (Five minutes later): *remembers Kevin's pet snake when Ashley clearly doesn't and even asks who's Kevin*

[@sp-fw4wh]

but you know, the thing about bad memory is, you remember the most random unimportant stuff and not the important stuff at the right time. Sometimes you just don't remember that part or moment of your life anymore no matter how much you try. I say this coz i have this too.

[@shiyanasays]

All in all, you just can't give from an empty cup. You have to put yourself first and take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. In that same vein, you can be selfish, I believe, as long as you're not hurting others and with that you can be selfless as long as you're not hurting yourself. Setting boundaries and letting people know when you just can't help them is always going to be the best option whether that causes you to be selfish as a reaction towards other people's problems/requests or selfish towards yourself as a reaction to what you can do for yourself at that time.

[@glorianamultistan]

BM is such a good talker. I always fall more for him in every podcast he comes in.

[@IssaK.]

It’s so nice to see everyone together. OG and the craziest trio. Love PH1 & Junny but I missed those trio. BM looks super cute today, so darn cute 😍🤩🔥🔥🔥💙

[@rahayuwahyu_]

I love this episode so much 'cause this episode remind me to Get Real season 1. The topic is very interesting, light, related to our daily life so fun. This is what i love from Get Real. I always love BM when he get into the topic and Peniel Hey I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! I always love the way's Peniel of dealing with his situations. And Ashley being Ashley as usuall. I miss Junny btw

[@medioreblatherskite]

Honestly, the original 3's dynamic was my favorite as they seemed like real friends way before the podcast.

[@ceraleexo]

When I tell yall I LOVE Matthew, I mean that with my whole heart. Anything he does, I'm supporting to the fullest! ❤

[@baisha]

my trio!!! i miss all of y’all together 🥹🤍

[@randomcommenter3713]

Peniel please be healthy. BM I hope you get through whatever that is made you think of this topic. And Ashley continue to be a ray of sunshine to your friends.

[@janicebolosan119]

I got tired of being "selfless" all the time,!! Like Ashley said that people will continue to take advantage of your good graces. Now its my turn to take care of me!!!

[@reh_ot7]

I love what BM said about being selfless and selfish and how you definitely should help someone in need, but also be careful that no one takes advantage of you. Like Peniel said: everything in moderation is the key - I think that’s true and everyone should look out for themselves, but also for each other ❤

[@JDMalu]

Can’t wait for the new Kard comeback. I’m so excited!!!! And I love the trio. Glad to see them all back together again!

[@ShumKaY]

Guys, call BamBam for his TED Talk on finances😂🎉 P.S. original trio always melts my heart❤

[@user-bs4oq9xv7p]

This episodes theme to me was the definition of “protecting your peace” you can protect your peace while still being selfish and selfless, but as soon as it crosses your own boundaries you need to protect yourself first.

[@Fantasy_Subs]

good to see BM back to the house with you, missed him alot

[@antonellafernandezcastella9184]

I want to see more BM in get real I didn't realize I Missed him so much! Just listening to him talk I love it

[@shtapan5454]

I just really love Ashley as a host and the dynamic she has with these two and Junny and Harry. 💙 I want BM back as a host! 😭🙏💙

[@notmeowbutmeow5269]

It's official. My fav combination is these 3. The way I'm jumping walking to my hostel listening to this 😂

[@nhijrah]

Finally the OG! BM! 😭

[@yessica5231]

Aaah peniel please take care of yourself and stay healthy

[@tins_melo]

Big Maltida, Penelope and Ashley ❤❤❤

[@alicial4930]

ashley BM redhead siblings...between hwaiting and this I'm happy this trio is back so soon!

[@Quirkaliciou-s]

First of all, I really needed this ep regarding the issues that they discussed. I've been dealing with this for a while now. My friends that I have since I was a baby, were kinda concerned abt how I'm always a "yes person" even when I'm fked up mentally. I've been with them for so long and I noticed how they changed over the years and became more "selfish", but not in a bad way, and they were trying to make me like that too because I was too selfless. For like 6 months I was exhausted physically and mentally trying to be there for some people, and when I found myself in a bad situation, I was overexplaining myself about what I feel and think because I felt like I'm just speaking to a wall. When I had to decline them, my whole body was trembling because of what their feedback would be and when I finally did it, they called me selfish, irresponsible, bad, someone who doesn't keep promises and lot of other things. Even though I felt exhausted I've never thought that they are just sculpting me how they want me to be, but since that incident I just left. I'm not mad, they thought me a lesson. A lesson that my close friends tried to teach me long ago when I didn't want to believe in that, but now I finally learned it. I'm INFJ-T. I've heard that you change over the years but everytime I test it, it always comes out the same. Maybe it will change in my 30ties or later.

[@43385489]

I love the OG trio.... so much funnnnn. BM we miss youuuuu

[@OurBlueOcean7]

Oh man… this episode is really something i needed to hear. I recently started working my first job in customer service and find it extremely hard to say no to customers and coworkers since I’m naturally timid and don’t feel comfortable with the thought of being difficult. Recently through these difficult situations, I slowly learned how to control my emotions to think more calmly and the realization that I have to become more firm instead of staying a pushover. Thanks for bringing up this topic BM!

[@zed2711]

B.M., that's what's ageing is, buddy. Our senses got attuned to all these the older and the more experienced we get. Sensing them is already a step up in your life experience 👍 stay strong, stay healthy, stay safe all of you

[@jaycee4679]

I really miss this OG lineup.. be permanent BM! Please!

[@dohastay1468]

Guys, StrayKids are going to have a comeback this April 🎉you should invite them 😉 BangChan, Felix and Seungmin speak English well 🤍

[@Orblinkluv]

I'm so happy to see this iconic trio again 😊 I think Junny is a great addition because he adds a younger perspective to the show, but I just love the og3!!! Their level of friendship & comfort with one another really make for an easy & interesting listen! Would LOVE to see an episode where Junny & BM meet 😆 there are some other guest hosts I don't think we've seen with BM either so I think it would be really fun to see those interactions someday too :)

[@acyein]

AHHHH it's BM!!! Can't believe KARD is having a comeback soon, really excited for new music!

[@pnlsprkls]

thank you for sharing peuni 🥺 your health is the most important

[@StrayaK8]

When I think of selfishness, I think ‘ONLY thinking about yourself’, while selflessness is only thinking about others. Taking care of/standing up for yourself is not selfish in this sense it’s just allowing your thoughts and needs to be apart of the equation rather than being dismissed. Great episode! I love these 3.

[@SuperLulaby]

Glad to have BM back. Even though he's just a guest this time. I miss him on this show. I could listen to him all day long.😊 ❤

[@Aaishax99]

Finally seeing bm without a hat on in the podcast is the biggest blessing he luks so handsome 😍🔥

[@ivanmagnusmartinez78]

I love this though, it's very chill and feels like hanging out with a few friends

[@discotechx]

Nothing like a BM Peniel Ashley episode. I hope we get this periodically at least 😊

[@reii9554]

24:01 "kevin does" 😭

[@ericac6648]

i love that you guys talked about this topic!! your input was very valuable :) i totally agree with what ashley said, how asian american kids are usually raised to be very selfless. which is why (as an a.a.) i am appreciative that my dad raised me to be unafraid of saying no to people, not tolerating bs, and putting yourself first. as a kid this often got me labeled as rude or selfish but as i got older i saw how my friends who did not have this same mindset became pushovers and were often taken advantage of for their extremely forgiving and tolerating personalities. yet, they r praised for being selfless and kind (at expense of their own wellbeing). i find it very toxic that in today's society, people who say no more often are labeled as selfish and people who are tolerating are labeled as selfless. these labels are not only inaccurate but also create negative patterns of people constantly putting others before themselves no matter the situation, which i also feel contributes largely to r@pe culture and abuse. generally, i think the trait of selflessness is praised too often (although it can be respectable in some contexts!) and should be redefined and less glorified to end negative cycles. it's okay to say no to others in order to take care of yourself! even if it is not a great inconvenience, u don't deserve to be put in discomfort to please other people. they can ask someone else for a ride home, i promise...

[@ncz7]

🖤

[@arohame4104]

😭😭i missed this, now that the OGs are back i love it

[@JSJA19640]

Peniel talks a lot if the subject is not that serious 😂 but glad BM is back!

[@bangpinkardexid]

no because the way they bounce off each others ideas and thoughts makes it so much more interesting to watch like I could watch this trio for hoursss

[@Ashqhun]

Damn, watching this while fasting when Peniel said greek yogurt and fruits and what not I don't even eat healthy but that sounds really good right now.

[@pinkocean6137]

Omg last time Harry and now BM 😭😭😭 love you guys

[@karenkatequilat9881]

WE NEED MORE OF THE OG HOSTS!!! PENNY AND MATILDA AND ASHLILI!!!!

[@user-ze1dh1rx2u]

👏🏻🤣💯

[@usandyouyouandwebtobandmelody]

It's Penelope 😂 penny is Peniel's dog. I mean Pennie. 😅

[@crystal-11]

BM!!!!!!!!! It’s was about damn time we had him on get real, missed him so much. The trio is back and I couldn’t be happier. This podcast was so chill and wholesome, it’s just feels nice seeing them talk about ordinary things and their lives😊. Hope you’re doing well BM and see you soon.

[@anjh2cs]

Prev weeks, Harry, and now BM!!! Get Real fam is spoiling us! 😍

[@maiters5503]

This episode hit me so hard. Love this original trio! Thanks GetReal! ❤️

[@erikac2720]

This was a fun episode. I like seeing funny Peniel here. Here he seems more confortable and he is funny.

[@Quirkaliciou-s]

In the morning I saw this ep coming out and I instantly liked it even though I didn't have time to listen to it. Now I'm back and I wanna say what everyone says and thinks "I LOVE THIS TRIO" 🥰🥰

[@Lita_213]

I've always been a giver (the rock) for friends, family and even strangers, but now that I'm older I'm entering a space where my main priority is making sure that I'm self-FILLED. I'm focused on making sure that *I'm* good and sometimes that means letting the chips fall wherever they may when it comes to everyone else. We do a disservice not only to ourselves but also to others when we step in and try to protect them from facing the consequences of their own choices by being everything that they want. *We* figured out how to get whatever it is that they want from us, so letting them figure out how to make it happen for themselves is the best thing that we can do for selfish, greedy, and needy people.

[@RhodesToKpop]

Sooo good having the OG3 back. Great time to kick back relax and hang with the team.

[@idivine1312]

Love these three together 💯 And grubhub absolutely took too much money last year, so relatable BM

[@piadabrown]

The OG crew 🎉🎉🎉

[@callmevitaaa]

13:24 the sibling energy 😂😂😂

[@charro028]

Peniel is right about an injury making other things worse. After my knee surgery, my good knee started to bother me. It’s bc you overcompensate. It sucks!

[@rustybros]

@peniel , your helicopter thing you talked about at 9:37 is probably referring to probiotics. It's found in some yogurts to help with digestion and has good bacteria to support your stomach.

[@liveinsoco2504]

Just back from my skincare clinic to treat my acnes, then watch this and peniel share his experienced about pimple’s treatment . Relate so much! I hate the most when they did my nose part too😂

[@chosen558]

very interesting topic ! I think it’s impossible to be both selfish and selfless as to be selfish requires you to not be considerate of the other person so they kind of juxtapose each other in a way. I think when selflessnesses is subjective to any factor or context then it isn’t really selfless .. what i have come to realise is that being selfless done correctly can only be positive as it stems from kindness ,compassion and confidence/secureness in oneself . being selfless doesn’t mean i value you more than myself in fact i believe it’s a reflection of how much i value myself.. being a selfless person doesn’t mean you can’t say no !

[@susanhawson17]

Boundaries and Balance! Let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no!! Friends are your chosen family...sleep when your dead! 🙋🏼‍♀️🙏🏼💯

[@shree2710]

Very excited for KARDs comeback!! BM looks so good with his new hair color, suits him so good!!!

[@VHShologram]

I love how they are more natural and unfiltered in this episode comparing to the older ones 😁

[@EvolvingwithRen]

Yayyyyyy BM is back!!!!❤❤

[@donsenorperrojronimin9043]

Oh! I remember that episode of Peniel in Hong Kong with Hyunsik, the PD were making them paid for everything 😵‍💫

[@eiouiu]

ahhh missed these three together!!! plus ashley looks extra pretty in this ep 🤧

[@siriih.974]

I missed this! 3 friends meeting and talking a little bit about the topic, and then about random friends things! haha missed it! but it was so fun

[@melc5000]

Hell to the yeaAhH....! The 3 ultra pro max OG’s are back.. I click as fast as the lightning and roared like a thunder in my female voice ❤❤❤

[@bumblebee74814]

What a timely podcast 😢 This is what I've been struggling with. How can I let go of my selfish friends who take advantage of me all the time and they're not there when I need them. And I'm someone who cannot say no if I say no I feel guilty. It's very complicated 😅 I'm talking about the same group of friends from highschool, college and now my adult life it's taking a toll on my mental health. Plus whenever I try to put a little distance I think about the 15+ years of friendship and the history we have together. But honestly I feel like it's time I let go even if they hate me. I cannot deal with this shit anymore 😢 HELP ME! I have a lot to say and I hate complainin and talking behind their back also I don't have anyone to share this with hence I'm sharing here.

[@bumblebee74814]

I think I have a fear of disappointing people. I don't like taking credit or whatever but I do not like to disappoint people and people have too much expectation of me cuz I'm always sincere and diligent with whatever I do but then sincerity should be met with sincerity right? 😢

[@bumblebee74814]

I genuinely care about others happiness before mine, others comfort before mine I mean nothing has ever been for my own selfish need. Could that be a form of pleasing others? I don't know but all I need is some insight on how to distance myself from friends whom I've known my whole life without hurting them.

[@bumblebee74814]

It's impossible to completely cut them off cuz we have so many common friends, we live in the same city, we go to the same weddings know what I'm saying. Just last night as well and honestly my exiety worsens whenever I'm with them. I just need a safe, healthy distance from them.

[@kurrie.kaiator.2726]

"I'll, I'll come for you... In the middle of the night." I died laughing... And thank the Gods ppl like Ashley are just here being their best self.

[@tins_melo]

45:21 totally agreed . Pimple or blackhead squeezing at the nose area really super painful 😭

[@Menmyself-qj5mx]

Best trio❤️❤️❤️... missed junny 🥺✨

[@sodasunnnyshine2482]

Awww seeing these guys together again makes me so happy! 💚

[@diannetapalla1645]

I am also realising this in my new workplace. I finally realise that I don’t need to give my all to everybody and everything. I need to be more confident and stand up for myself. Like f*** all this

[@isabellevoldy]

this episode came at the very right time form me! i was in a fight this week which kind of around being selfish/selfless, this gave me a new perspectiv on things, thanks!

[@heavenbound9157]

Extraverted feeling MBTI types (INFJ, ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ) are typically more selfless. Introverted feeling types (INFP, ENFP, ESFP, ISFP) are generally more selfish. Other types have a moderate balance. Of course there are always exceptions, but from my personal experience I'd say this generally holds true.

[@diannegarcia4351]

Missed this trio soooo much 🥲 wish they're always together huhuhuh

[@pnlsprkls]

THE OG THREE 😭💚💚💚

[@Justamob_]

24:55 as an INTP it's difficult for me to turn down my friends. For people i am not close to i just say no

[@Jailenecamacho]

BM is back!!!

[@JCabCSM]

KARD comeback!? O_O!!!

[@ttaka3821]

My favorite trio! So happy to see them together 💕

[@fdoctor79]

It's always good to see the OGs in da house! God is GOOD! 😊

[@farziakarim3087]

I know im late but i legit screamed so loud my brother got scared, out of excitement when i saw BM in the thumbnail!! the King of the gang is back!!

[@anitabharti6004]

5 Michelin stars 😂 Its 3 guys Reminds of bang chan and felix ❤

[@mavwithcats]

matthew'e hair omg!!!!! suits him so good 😍

[@peacelife]

Aww! Another reunion. Love when OG host come visit n chill. 😂😂. Funny how Korean is so into Personality trait even introduced each other and remember each like 👏 Ashley.