Divorced Woman Can't Find A Boyfriend? We React To Men’s Hate | The Thirsty Sisters #27

Listen to us on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5yx8txj...
We respond to men's complaints?!
Is Sylvia too old to remarry? Did Nina break up again?! This week, the Thirsty Sisters discussed the 5 complaints Singaporean men have about Singaporean women. How will they respond to the complaints? Tune in to find out!
02:09 - Nina's Love Life Update
02:32 - Why SG Women Find it Hard to Settle Down
03:46 - Are SG Women Gold Diggers?
04:21 - Is it too much to ask for equal partners?
06:07 - Should We compromise what we've built for someone else?
09:08 - Can men match the lifestyles we've been accustomed to?
09:35 - Do SG women have high expectations?
10:20 - Culture shift or a woman problem?
13:43 - Sylvia responds to hate comments
16:32 - Do SG women put themselves on a pedestal?
17:47 - Not every women wants to be a mother or wife??
25:10 - Are we too high maintenance?
33:34 - She has a difference lifestyle and is not willing to compromise?
Articles discussed in our podcast for your reading pleasure!
- www.straitstimes.com/singapor...
- www.quora.com/Why-are-there-s...
- zula.sg/dating-singaporean-gi...
- www.todayonline.com/big-read/...
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PSSST...
While we respect everyone's views and opinions, we hope you respect ours too. We are entertainers after all! So if you're going to be butt-hurt by our videos, simply click X :confused: But for those who share our sense of humour, enjoy and watch on! Comment below with what you want to see next! 🙂 Thank you!

[@TheThirstySisters]

Too high expectations???? Singaporean Women are just not Wife Material?? How many times have we heard a similar statement! Do you agree or disagree? Share with us your thoughts, we'll love to know if there are other women out there who have goals apart from being mothers or wives. We love a chunky comment, who knows we might just repost that on our IG 😘🍒

[@teyyiyun6664]

Not agree

[@cashmerehazel21]

If I'm a male, I'll be afraid of finding a woman who has low expectations. This means she'll be happy with me and happy with many other men too. She'll easily find love and a husband in almost every man! And I wouldn't feel very special to have been "selected" by her because I'm just one of the many men. Women who have realistic expectations do not need to explain themselves. Men who are worthy and have mature mentality will naturally be drawn to women who are capable and can take care of themselves independently.

[@zanegamingtv2252]

Harlow Sisters, i agree that most mens are double standards de hahas. I would want my partner to have goals in life too. I understand what you girls are saying =))) jia you jia you don't let those hate comments get to you. wa i angry sia to the person that talk about Sylvia this way.

[@yexinxin5588]

💖Sylvia💜,💚It is ok for woman to have high expectations of their life partner because they are choosing someone to spend their rest of their lives with💛.💙If you anyhow choose someone without any expectations and that person may bring a lots of problems and make your life miserable, you will end up suffering and you may regret why you choose this person to be with you in the start💖. 💜So it is important to choose carefully and with high expectations when it comes with your future life partner💙.😍😍😍💜💙💖👄👅💋

[@hui2ng]

those who made such statement are definitely not Husband material !!! 宁缺毋滥

[@SweetPie128]

Sylvia is so eloquent, engaging, knowledgeable and wise. I hope Thirsty Sisters goes on for a long, long, time because the topics discussed are so interesting, all-encompassing and thought-provoking! Sylvia sounds confident but not aggressive or overly opinionated and honestly this entire podcast is just so interesting and somewhat soothing to the ears. Looking forward to more episodes!

[@cyndiyp]

Yes, I'm so done with people judging women who don't want to have kids. Being a mom is a lifetime commitment you know? Stop having such expectations of women. This is not in the olden days, where women don't have to work and are all housewives. Now women are expected to work, support the family too, be a mum and do the chores? Insane.

[@Shinkevo]

I don’t disagree with what’s been said but I think Nina needs to be fair with her ex too. Some guys don’t want to waste time too and it’s better to check whether the both of you are on the same life path. I think he knows you well enough to ask you that question. It’s not wrong that he knows he wants a family which is why he asked to see if you want similar things in life. If you don’t then splitting up is the best for the both of you so you don’t waste each other’s time and you can look for your compatible partners. Don’t fault him for asking the question. One of the worse things in life is if you both know you want different things but then still stay in the relationship out of convenience or familiarity.

[@gooddreams8495]

correct, i agree. If he asks Nina and she answer in a way that make her turn out to not be what he wants, then they split. its ok. That is the purpose of the question. But if he force Nina to change to his correct idea, then its wrong. Vice versa, a girl also has no right to force a guys to change to hher "ideal man" If she cannot accept a man, leave. If her merely look at who Nina is, and makes his decision in response to that, based on who he is/want, then I think that good. Sometimes choosing to leave a relationship can be more mature than choosing to stay in a relationship. Both mature guys and girls need to knows which is which.

[@samuelho5170]

Ultimately , two adults need to have similar goals, values and visions if they are to settle down together . If not , don't waste each other effort and time (: Just find the suitable Bachelor or Lady out there for you .

[@NN-do6ze]

but I think the thing that bothers Nina is that the guy sounded he is looking for a mother for a child not Nina herself, he’s looking a takecarer instead of a wife that he loves not Nina herself, which means any women can reproduce he will take it, it think he just want to marry for the sake of having a kid for himself not forming a family with the one that he loves ,also the sentence he phrased “carry my child” 😂

[@thecloudchaser1]

Shout out to Nina! Don't compromise, don't settle...I was the last single girl standing amongst my friends, got married "late" by Asian standards and made the decision not to have children because it wasn't for me in spite of pressure from family, friends and people who don't matter but like to make a lot of noise! Very fortunate to have had a mother in-law and now husband who supports my strong female voice...and not bowing to conventions...and when you meet him...you will know., and you will want to marry him like tomorrow! :) Props to strong sisterhood voices, we need it more to challenge the patriarchy way of thinking

[@paulavitan]

You guys are speaking my language! I once had a boyfriend before who i felt like i had to babysit all the time. Who wanted us to get married at a certain age and have a baby at a certain age. I now have a very healthy relationship with someone who is successful in his own field and who also lets me spread my wings and fly in my own career. Never pulling me down. Always lifting me up. He even told me he will marry me only if I want to. He also will not force me to bear a child because it’s my body, it’s my decision. Never really settle for anything less than what you deserve. Even if you don’t end up with some guy. I would rather have been single til I die, than always be stressed and feel like I have to stay in a relationship I am not happy about.

[@keishawillie5940]

ever since I listened to your podcast, I become more independent as a woman. I never think about having a relationship or finding a boyfriend anymore :V, I just want to study hard for my future *yeyyy* . btw thank you Sylvia and Nina for being such an amazing role models for me, I hope you guys are also doing well!! LOVE YOU SO MUCHHH

[@TheThirstySisters]

We stan a self-driven sister!! Study hard we love you too ❤️

[@yexinxin5588]

@@TheThirstySisters 😍💖Sylvia💜😍,😍😍😍💜💙💖I love you💖💙💜😍😍😍

[@yuxiang2806]

i suppose “high expectations” mean being idealistic? well, one(male/female) will have to strike a fine balance between idealism & realism. it is not wrong to have expectations - having some expectations is actually a “growth” mindset & it shows that he or she knows what they want in their lives in the long run. i would personally classify excessive demands (i.e. must reply your bf/gf msg within a min.) as a trait of extreme idealism.

[@stephaniekung9598]

Yes girls. It is true. My ex boyfriend expect me to be a domestic goddess. 1) Beautiful and slim like model. 2) Give birth to at least 1 son. 3) Clean house, cook, laundry 4) Help with his cafe business 5) Salary for helping out in his business is RM 1500.00 but going to use for household expenses which meant no savings. No extra for my own parents. Because of these expectations, we always fight and broke up.

[@CcCc-nq9mv]

Good for u

[@stephaniekung9598]

@@CcCc-nq9mv Indeed a good one. Because depart from him, I can be better. I am finishing my master programme by this year. He did not support me to take this earlier. Girls must be stronger mentally. Don't follow your emotions blindly.

[@virtualheadachez]

Wow such a person exists?!? I am so angry! Did he come from the 1800s?????? Oh my god. Also, unrelated to anything, but your profile picture is 10/10, you are freaking beautiful!!!! (Don’t worry I’m a girl not a lecher haha)

[@virtualheadachez]

Reminds me of what my grandmother said a few months before she died: “it’s better for girls to stay single forever than marry a bad man”, if my old grandmother can be so modern in her thinking, I don’t see why anyone else can’t!

[@chaofanyz]

My personal opinion is that each of us has our own unique life experiences, which had shaped our mindset on relationships and expectations. You can view expectations like the baby's educational toy of shapes. There is no such thing as the right shape, but many shapes, sizes, etc. You find the right size and shape to fit in. Although it may not be the perfect one, but you have to know everyone of us will still change our mindset along the way. Through TTS discussions and their own personal experiences, you can see that if the man and woman saw the potential in investing their current relationship, they will alter their shape and size to become the perfect fit. Yes, not every relationship is perfect, but there are relationships that work towards perfection that makes you think "how they do it?" I am humbled by Nina and Sylvia 打不死的精神 to pursue the relationship they desire. After watching their talks, I too am learning to know myself more and trying to pursue relationship. Most importantly, we should take care of ourselves first, though imperfect, but ever-growing. Although not guarantee + chop + warranty for a relationship to happen, but at the very least, you are healthy. Have a great week ahead =)

[@huayu8729]

good quality soul will attract good the other good quality soul. it's just how those "weak" men feel threated, because they are not good enough, so they try to make good quality lady look bad.

[@lromycl]

Interesting topic and to hear Nina and Sylvia perspective on it Just to add some point to the expectation topic, using expectation is not an end all be all indicator as your expectation would change along the way as you grow for the better or worse. Especially for the younger one, try to explore around and experience different things first before setting a strong expectation of what might work or not work for you. I think most people are trying to over-analyze it but at the end of the day, most people would realize that the `right/ideal` partner for you is someone that doesn't match the expectations you have set yourself and I've seen many examples of that, myself included. TLDR from my point of view: Just be yourself and have fun along the journey xD

[@melwu4839]

Is good to be single cause we women got the freedom to do what we want to do choses what we want to do without any boyfriend to care of

[@branliu899]

Look for a partner whom you love and are compatible with. The 5 languages of love and good communication between partners are vital. The rest are up to your personal preferences. The past society has standards of their own, but we shouldn’t use the same standards of the past to apply it to our society of today. Things have changed. And so the old mindset needs to change too.

[@cassandrawong3175]

The 5 love languages! This is important. Different people speak different love languages and want different types of love. When someone feels unloved in a relationship this could be it! Because your love language is different from your lover! Nina and Sylvia can do the 5 love languages quiz, very helpful when you do the quiz with someone you like. Then you can understand what makes your lover feel loved, and your lover can understand what makes you feel loved as well.

[@limhongwei3378]

As a guy i agree that Singaporean men are somewhat double standard when it comes to relationship. I think we as a nation have come so far in terms of gender equality and have somewhat moved on from gender stereotypes. However, we still have quite a long way to go. I am practical enough to understand that true gender equality is impossible. Males are biologically stronger than females, there is no denying it. Now this is not always the case as i have seen women that can dead lift 100kg. But i think the crux of the issue of gender equality is the debate of whether intellectually women are equal to men. In addition to that the issue of having the autonomy to make their own decisions. My personal views are that societies prejudices and the obsessive need to conform to societal norms will always hinder the advancements of gender equality. But my view is that women are intellectually equal to men and their inputs should be valued at an equal value to the inputs of men. Women should also be free to make their own choices on sensitive matters such as abortion, marriage, etc. However this a very idealistic view and sadly gender equality will still continue to be a hot topic of contention for a long time. Women should never be forced to conform to societal norms and act in a certian way just because society deems it as "ladylike". Yep, this pretty much summarises my views on the idea of gender equality. If you disagee well it is your personal view that you are entitled to.Just my 2 cents 😂

[@isamusg]

15:14 It's interesting that they call their expectations of men "standards", but male expectations of women "prejudices". Showing some bias here. Mr Lim may be unpleasant, but he is not wrong when he lists traditionally what a majority of men prefer. Just like how the majority of women prefer an independent and stable man and not a childish bum. Whether you're male or female, if one is not willing to have/achieve standards what the majority of the other party wants, your options are going to be limited. It's just math, nothing against people who don't want to fit the mold. Your choice, but also your consequences.

[@SynG4t3s]

look at the moronic feminist comments here, just disgusting

[@toi7719]

Love the podcast, I am a guy and i think you guys did a really good job explaining how generally guys think and how they should stop thinking in those manner.

[@jennliwen5612]

Well , my parents did not pay so much for my degree just for my OTHER HALF to expect me to sit at home and be a housewife. But if being a housewife is your dream, go w it gurl !!! You're gonna be a good stay home mama ! But, for me . I can't !!!

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

The average living standards across the entire world have increased but we, girls are expected to settle for standards of the past? Genders aside, haven’t men’s expectations for girls/relationships increased too? A good rule of thumb to determine whether it is gender bias: try to imagine the whole scenario with the opposite gender and ask yourself how has your opinions/actions/expectations change? It’s true that things are more complicated than this due to the difference in women’s and men’s roles in society in general but gender bias and outdated expectations put on women make things so much more difficult for us. Women have progressed so much from the past in terms of career, lifestyle, income etc etc. How can we expect outdated expectations to remain reasonable, relevant and practical? Yes, those expectations are fed from young (from our parents, media etc) but it should never a copy paste template. Time to question things instead of following things blindly without much conscious thoughts! (:

[@LeeKongJoe]

Agree with you sis. I think it is best for both genders to see themselves in the mirror and list down what we can do before setting an expectation like what Sylvia mentioned in the podcast saying that some men actually still wanted a glorified beautiful sexy "slave-domestic workers". Like can the men who expect that cook, good looking enough to nourish the eyes? Same for some women who expect a prince on a white horse yet don't share the similar quality of themselves. I think at the end, we all just wanted someone equal

[@debbielimbl]

Although I am married and have chosen to stay childfree, I fully agree that women should have the freedom to choose whether they want to stay single or stay childfree and not be pressured by society to fit a certain mould. It's also correct that women should also have the right to have a criteria in their minds of what their ideal partner should be, not just men. I really like that you are talking about this tough topic.

[@madelineyeo9272]

This is a podcast that I totally resonate! Dated so many Singaporean guys before I got married that I really started doubting whether there is something wrong with myself because I am also one of those strong headed career minded women. Made me feel like once I go home I need to switch off and become a demure/household version of myself. Nothing wrong with that but I feel it is wrong when a guys expects it to happen rather than let it happen naturally. The guys I dated really have so much expectations of how a woman should be that it tired me out. My current husband don't earn as much as me but he is working hard on his own and does not expect too much from me. So I don't feel income should be an issue unless like what Sylvia says that the guy bums around and don't contribute yet expect everything to be provided.

[@gooddreams8495]

Hi, I'm curious about something, hope you don't mind if I ask you a question. when you said your are ok with your husband not earning as much as you, are you truly ok with that or do you expect him to someday surpass your income? Or can you really love him even if he will be earning less then you "forever"? Do you feel he is good now but is better if he earns more? Or him earning more or less doesn't affect his value as a husband? The reason I ask is because there are girls that say they accept a guy with less income apparently mean it. but there are those who say that but actually means "tolerate him for now, but he better earn more in the future" they talk about a guy like he is an stock investment. They don't love the "man" but the potential huge "returns" he can give her. Because based on my poor past experience, I know girls who never work at all and(allow me to borrow your quote), "bums around and don't contribute yet expect everything to be provided" because she is a girl:( Also have those who work as hard as the guys at the beginning(so appears different) but expect the guy to "reach his potential" and one day allow her to "bums around and don't contribute yet expect everything to be provided" in the future.

[@madelineyeo9272]

@@gooddreams8495 Hi! Thank you for your comment. I belong to the group who says so and genuinely means so. I cannot foresee myself bumming away because I am too much of a workaholic and honestly working gives me value in life. Like I actually achieve milestones at work and that gives me great satisfaction. I do know the girls that you mention, both the ones who don't work yet expect alot from the guy and those who expect to be provided for in the future. I cannot resonate with them because if you have the earning power, why would you want to rely on the guy when earning your own keep gives you more satisfaction? Even if my husband earns more than me now I also won't stop working because I rather spend the money I earn than use his money as it gives me a greater peace of mind. Back to your question - Or can you really love him even if he will be earning less then you "forever"? Yes I can. Because being the workaholic that I am, I cannot foresee myself quitting my job even if I have kids. I have told my friends that I don't even mind that he becomes the house husband because that gives me the focus at work and not having to worry that the household is not well taken care of. I know that not all women think the same as me and unfortunately there is still a group who expects the guy to get somewhere someday. In my opinion, that is toxic because you are putting your own expectations and wanting the person to live it and not giving them much of a choice. I do push my husband by helping him find better job opportunities as he is a foreigner and if he does not want the job opportunity, I also can't force him. So he himself will also want to better himself if not there is no point expecting all of that. His education level is also lower than me so the jobs that are available to him will probably never be able to earn more than I do unless he starts his own business etc. and I don't mind that. It is alright for me as that also gives me more control in terms of how the financials are planned.

[@gooddreams8495]

@@madelineyeo9272 wow, thanks for your detailed reply. Glad to see that you mean what you say. Hope I meet more people that think like you, sadly, the opposite seems to be the majority. Having your own income is indeed a good feeling. Also I believe it shows responsibility to the other partner(guy or girl). Thanks for your answer:)

[@calebyoong6187]

There is someone perfect out there for everybody

[@ichigoichigolicioux503]

That may be so, but unfortunately, people miss their chances, lower their standards, settle for less, meet them at the wrong timing. In conclusion, like this vid mentioned, don’t settle for less!

[@Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG]

@Caleb Yoong No, there is no such thing as the perfect someone because people changed their preferences over time. ALL relationships takes effort and courage.

[@aliceteo2022]

I'm still in secondary school and I'm so happy to be able to grow up knowing that I should never lower my expectations for any men and its not me being unreasonable and asking for too much but its just me knowing my worth and taking the relationship seriously as he would have to match how much I'm going to invest into our relationship. Thank you for being my role models!!

[@kerloweeec7907]

It’s like i’m listening to my 2 soul sisters speaking for this episode 😏 I’ve heard these same comments from my guy friends some 6-7 years ago - not too demure, vocal, high maintenance, high expectations but that’s just you knowing what you want and don’t want in life. I mean, would you rather us be lost in life or something 🤷🏻‍♀️ for sure, in every journey of our lives we discover more about our wants/likes/dislikes, leading us to know what we can or cannot compromise on. I don’t see a problem with that; my OH doesn’t see a problem with that. On the contrary, we wouldn’t have gotten together if i were any different. Bottomline, stay true to yourselves gurls. You’ve earned everything that you’ve worked hard for, and never stop shinning for anyone. There will be guys who see you for who you are 🥂

[@kaiyungoh8013]

Great discussion! I love how objective the discussions were and i agree with them too! 😄

[@lili5303]

If u love someone unconditionally you will be with the person regardless anything. But if you are trying to measure ur partner just like how bosses set KPI on their employees then there will be never ending criticism. If salary is a condition for the employee and the boss can’t meet that salary, that’s the end of their working relationship. On the contrary, if an employee is willing to sloth for the company during bad times such as pay cuts , it means their working relationship is more than just about money

[@speedy1920]

I need to share this video with my mum..

[@YDeliciousnoodle]

I like sylvia's speech to nina. Hopefully things goes well in the next relationship !

[@TheThirstySisters]

We hope so too!! Maybe you'll get first dips on her next relationship, who knows (;

[@yexinxin5588]

@@TheThirstySisters 😍💖Sylvia💜😍,😍😍😍💜💙💖I love you💖💙💜😍😍😍

[@gwendalyn256]

Yes we have to set our own standards and expectations!

[@Enchante...]

Expectations are high because men are giving women a role to play (be it wife, mother, nanny or just a pretty doll to look at) anything, but herself.

[@itscloudyinside]

FINALLY showing men the mirror. Standards must match. Men always feel they are the ones to set the status quo, which is complete nonsense. Go TTS jiejies

[@sylsylchan]

Woah your opening line so powerful ❤️💪🏼

[@itscloudyinside]

@@sylsylchan Wah, totally did not expect THE Sylvia Chan to respond. But yeah, all the hardworking and thirsty (for success) ladies out there have my respect! Much love from a fellow Malaysian! 💜

[@yexinxin5588]

@@sylsylchan 😍💖Sylvia💜😍,😍😍😍💜💙💖I love you💖💙💜😍😍😍

[@irenesarahchia9836]

Nina is so on point! I dated a good for nothing for many years and it drained me entirely. Thankfully, I’m awake now!!

[@bleakrainbow8140]

so many good points brought up and i hope people learn of these other perspectives by women that they may have previously been unaware of

[@thirstysister2368]

It's a little extreme to measure one' compatibility based on his/her income. No doubt it is advantageous that your partner has a higher salary, but is that sufficient to ensure that you can continue living your current lifestyle, or remain 'compatible'? For example, if your partner who happens to be earning much higher than you, but was retrenched due to a financial crisis. How would you respond in such a situation? Perhaps you may think that he/she might be able to get back the same/higher paying job after the crisis, but the truth is, no one can foresee that. Ultimately, there are many dynamics in a relationship, and for me, a 'growth' mentality is more important. Yes, he/she might be earning less than me now, but in the long run, he/she might be earning more, or is fulfilling his/her passion. It would certainly be more satisfactory/happy to see your partner grow with your support. Of course, there are other dynamics that are important too, but putting a threshold that one must have minimum or equal salary, might lead you towards a path of dismay when things are not rosy. Sylvia is entitled to her own opinions, but I hope the wider audience can also understand that her perspective may not yield the best result. At the end of the day, the relationship is there because you are happy to be with your partner.

[@bummerboy]

i don't think Sylvia has the mindset of building a family. the whole point of 2 becoming 1 is to pool resources, to consolidate and grow together. perhaps, she had that with Ryan (or maybe it was all about the business), but she clearly no longer wants that kind of relationship (marriage) with another man, since she feels it would be a burden if the man earns less.

[@HQR000]

I think what she means is men will always have pride/ego, i dont mean it in a bad way, i mean men generally seem to have a natural pride kinda thing gg on in them that say they like to feel needed. Eg most traditional families the head of the house is the father, and a father feels respected when he is needed. The pt here is when a woman earns more, particularly when she earns significantly more, the common male would tend to feel so called less of a man and problems in the rs would arise because he'd start nitpicking at her because of his insecurity of not being depended on... and he'd start questioning why he is even in a rs where his wife doesnt need his support

[@JK-tk6gs]

I love this!

[@shao2307]

33:18 What guys are looking for (despite what they say) is for a partner who they can share empathy and mutual emotional support. Right now it's manifesting in symptoms such as "I want people who are demure" or "I want people from ASEAN region" because people from these groups tend to be kinder and have more empathy. In Singaporean society, guys are under high pressure (as per the sisters) to "not earn less than women", be put together, have career goals. These expectations on us come from family, friends, society and yes also from women. So when we look for a life partner, we want to be honest and vulnerable, we want to be to share our anxieties our fears our worries. We are human too and we want to be ourselves around you. As mentioned, Singaporean girls try very hard in terms of makeup and career success (and props to the ladies for that). But the fact that the entire episode didn't talk about mutual emotional support in a relationship is pretty indicative of what's missing. My partner is a C-suite, power businesswoman, but she's also the only person I can cry in front of. Being independent and having empathy are not mutually exclusive. How many Singaporean ladies can look at a guy cry or be anxious without judging him for it? Do we as a Singaporean culture (both guys and girls) know how to empathize and support each other? Is Singapore's idea of providing emotional support = being submissive? How can we change that?

[@allissakoh8852]

Why does demure = not smart and no opinions..?

[@YoutiaoVlogs]

I apologise on behalf of the men who left bad comments! Paiseh

[@jordanpuar4233]

wah early sia, so exciteddd

[@laimushii]

Best episode thus far. Perfect, pertinent, and imperative content.

[@lisatsen1556]

Dear Sisters, you both are gorgeous and successful and confident, love will find its way to you eventually! Agree with everything you said in this podcast. No one need to settle if they chose not to!! Love you both and wishing you guys all the luck and excitement on this journey/quest!!

[@keanesetiawan]

Hi, i love your take on this topic!!! I have a question for you guys, aren’t we dating with someone with the intention of getting married??? I feel like if we are just dating for the sake of having fun or finding experience, isn’t it actually disrespectful for the partner especially if he or she is serious about it? Please share your thoughts on this one. Looking forward for your next podcasts😊

[@cyndiyp]

I think it's because in today's age, especially in the west, where alot of couples be together and have kids but are not married in name. I think this type of western views are like infusing in Singapore and alot of developed asian countries as well. That's why doesn't mean be together forever need to be married i guess.

[@cindyleong1379]

As an 18yo girl, even before watching your podcast, I already stand by my principles of being an independent woman and after listening to your podcast, it makes me realize that there are many women out there who are also very independent and doesn't really need a man in their life but when we do we want someone who can flip us over and slap our asses which is very hard to find because I'm 173cm and there are not many guys in Malaysia who are taller than me and stronger than me especially the guys that are in my campus.

[@nisyakhan1994]

I loved this podcast! I am totally on the same page with you ladies :) As a woman in my mid to late 20s, the pressure to settle down is intense. I wanna have a career but I also wanna be a mum and have my own family too. At the same time, the things that Sylvia highlighted (about moving in to husband's family and leaving your own family behind) is scary 😅

[@stacytan1634]

Mega love this ep, can all the guys please listen to this.

[@alphinery]

love this podcast!

[@yknga]

I like ur argument. On point tho, makes sense

[@joeylim261]

for the comment on sg women are gold digger it just means that there is still inequality in the society between man & woman and tbh I seen cases whr man are gold digger as well but nobody seems to care as much :) omg finally got voices said that female have a lot of sacrifice when they are getting married and living their comfort zone since young😭 always learn a lot in the podcast ❤️ thanks Sylvia & Nina🙆🏻‍♀️

[@zhiwei3596]

Hi Sylvia, very interesting topic. I will like to add a few points on top of your 5 pointers. - Technology raise abundance of guys for girls to choose. Vice Versa. People choosy. - Sometimes feel that girls go for rare than the abundance option, if you understand. - Most guys are not smooth talker, dating apps ladies didn't seem to put in effort to reply or take days to, no momentum, one sided effort. - Girls like guys who are emotionally strong. This is subjective, a guy who is emotionally strong might just be good at talking, happens the girl just like him but maybe not that emotionally strong when face with crisis. Most guys are not good at sweet talking.

[@lala-rj5di]

Agree that it is being realistic, as guys usually have high ego. It is might hurt some guys if they know they are earning lesser. Sometimes when arguements happen, when they cant win, they might think tat they r being looked down although in actual fact it might not be true at all. Income does affect ego, individual pressure, internal thoughts during conflicts etc. Sometimes having expectations just makes things harder, higher dissappointment. Perosonally i think the most basic expectation should just be being able to click, bring able to be comfortable, loves who you are and have a strong heart to withstand tough moments. I think Income should not be a deal breaker though, as we should look at things on a bigger landscape. Now the economy is bad, to find someone equal on income might be abit tough to be realistic. Everyone will have their down moments, maybe it just happens that the match period was during such a period. I think as long one feels the comfort and trust that things will get better, it can be accepted. Provided the guy has a heart big enough to swallow the pressure to continue to work hard, eventually lead a happy ending. I have known guys earning lesser in the past but now earning double the amount of their partner. Nth is impossible unless one give up. We should be more open and accepting to people's flaws, as we do have our own flaws. Dont let temporary downturn blind you on a possible suitable partner.

[@verayu1091]

Talk about expectations of changes in boundaries when you get into a relationship - eg. Is it okay for your boyfriend to meet his close female friend alone? For dinner at her house? Cook dinner together with her? Does it make a difference if it was a new relationship or a 3-year long relationship?

[@marcuslee7840]

Love you both and old continue your podcast. Jiayou!!

[@jenniferhsu7920]

OMG WHY AM I LATE. Also i wanna kms i have sm work but i love ya'll sm and i love the podcasts so much

[@LittleMiss0926]

Yes, I have high expectations. Not with 5Cs but a man that I can trust and be there for me.

[@saltandlightofficial]

24:32 so true. never wanted to be a mother ever in my life, not when I was in JC, not when I was in uni when suitors even tried to “debate” with me on how being a mother is a wonderful thing (also not u have to be pregnant tok cok) and not when i was working where an exbf tell me “having kids will all be worth it” (you don’t suffer as much ofc worth it to u tok cok). not then, not now

[@Lea_nne_]

Moral of the story (to guys): Not all women want to just marry and have babies We want to explore the world, enjoy our lives as well. Women aren't just baby making machines expected to be wifed up and cook for you.

[@micpanit]

love this!!! women empowering!! btw I'm from Thailand and i love ur show!

[@cylinnnn]

I think the way to you girls heart is the man probably to first respect and accept your lifestyle, and I believe eventually when you respect and love the guys as much too, being a mother or a nice wife might come naturally without them having this expectation from the beginning. cheers to happy finding love :)

[@JohnArbutden]

Hi both, no need to find one who earns an equal pay, as long as it is clear that you don't need to 'subsidise' him (or vice versa). Need to have the expectations clear on both sides upfront. Eg maybe you all can have an agreement to contribute equally to fam expenses.

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

Omg! Please start a dating show by TTS! ❤️❤️❤️

[@nicwasheree]

hi I love your podcasts

[@myheartwillgoonandon3414]

its makes sense that some men want women from SEA countries because many of them grow up in an environment where they aren't able to get equal opportunities as boys (in terms of education and career), which is like the older generation in singapore

[@ahallhahhauu2482]

Hahaha I die laughing today.. U all touch on e topic so well.. As a men I really proud of u both. Respect 👍. Wishing u both can find your other half soon. Cheer

[@joannegerlz]

Everything that both of you said, CAN’T AGREE MORE! ✋🏻

[@Chloe-dl3lh]

Love TTS! So much wisdom in questioning all the problematic norms and myths!

[@mochis.z]

Idk why but I love listening to the thirsty sisters love u guys

[@alvinfg3133]

Wait singaporean women are technically south east asian girls too cause singapore is in south east asia region

[@saltandlightofficial]

lol guys who say these women are gold diggers are just incapable of matching up to these women and being an EQUAL. and to compensate for their inadequacies, they put the blame on the women.

[@YusenLiang]

Yeah imagine

[@iwantmyplaylist]

Such a hard issue to talk about

[@amirthanayagi]

I was expecting cosplay 💛

[@ivegotajarofdirt1534]

It's like Nina is having a therapy session with Sylvia when she is giving Nina some life lessons

[@redmoonsamurai7285]

I don’t mind divorced women cause I still single

[@MrBoliao98]

I do think Nina is picky, but right I really respect Nina the self-worth a sense of dignity, and thank you Thirsty Sisters for teaching me this.

[@PPGGGGGGGGGGGGG]

A relationship that are dissect into these elements has not much love in the first place.

[@yewwei2602]

I just think that preference is usually personal and differs from one to another. Also, 3x is not actually that old and Sylvia still sounds cute at times; so no worries on getting a man. Good luck to you both! :)

[@yewwei2602]

Adding on as well that in the current world, where equality is a thing, the question of lifestyle compatibility at any stage of a relationship; I feel, should not be an issue. This shows how both the partner's can respect the other party's "personal space" so to speak. I have been in a long term "shift" work where I was working the night-shift and had no option to reject; (industrial requirement) and I am glad to say that my now spouse actually understood this and accepted. At the same time, I also understood how she could feel not having me awake when she was during the day and I explicitly told that she could go ahead and hang out with her friends if she wanted to when I couldn't be awake. I think that this is one of many ways to show each other personal respect and understanding which I feel can go a long way into any relationship.

[@athenanc.]

So I'm quite young, I'm still at high school now, and I've had boyfriends before, so I have nothing against being in relationship. In fact, if possible I also want that. But my biggest goal is to be successful in my future career advancement. I don't care whether I'd get married, get divorced, or have kids one day. But I always get scolded for defying the norms. It's always like "You don't give birth then you're not completely a woman." And also I've been told "if you get a tattoo, you'd look like a bad girl and men wouldn't wanna be in serious relationship with you." That just mean those men are douchebags, it doesn't have to do with women having tattoos. And if one day I find a compatible man, then sure why not. If one day I decided to have kids, okay. But if not, it's okay also, as long as I can pursue my goal and not the goal society made for me. I just really hope that stigmas about women keep fading away, especially now with the rise of feminism, eventho I'm not a feminist. I hope that this world would be a better place for women.

[@gooberdz]

Very curious about the facts and numbers of the research that you discovered.

[@frecks28]

Basically, everything is about choice. If you are in a relationship, you need to make the choice if you want to settle down and get married. Getting married involves commitment, having kids (mutually agreed) and how to live till death to us part. Nothing is easy. It always involves sacrifices but ultimately what's the end result you are looking for. I'm a daughter, a wife, mother of 3 kids and a full time working professional. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? Definitely. It's my choice and I chose to go on this journey with my husband, till death do us part. Such is life. We deal with the ups and downs, learn from each other. Don't think it is really possible to keep to the single lifestyle after getting married. This applies to both men and women.

[@mapleleaves7345]

they are just keyboard warriors..in real life....they don't even dare to look infront of your face... all fake ppl online..ignore them....

[@mihirbundele1144]

I couldn't agree more with your opinions. And this is from a guy's perspective.

[@don-ent8272]

Just choose someone in your own league, then lifestyle will likely match.

[@LimHweeSiang]

this totally speak out to me, some comments i get is 'u are too independent' 'women need to be weaker abit la if not no guy want you' * roll eyes*

[@bluemush86]

Hear hear !! to not settling or lowering your standards just for fear of living single life. 🥳🥳🥳

[@irenesarahchia9836]

I love Sylvia!! Ryan has suffered a huge loss!!

[@ComradeConfucius]

Oh I'm going to do a response video on this. Here's an absolute GOLD MINE of hypocrisy for me to work with! 😊 For one - I don't hear rich successful men INSISTING that their girlfriend must be 'their societal equal and no less'. A wealthy and handsome young man would be happy to marry a waitress or a kindergarten teacher if she's sweet, feminine reasonably attractive. I thought 'strong independent women' were against binary gender roles and expectations? So would a househusband be repugnant in your view? (Since he isn't 'equal' to his wife) Something wrong with a male nurse who's dating a female doctor? And if you truly don't need a man's money, why can't you date a waiter or a bricklayer? (I'm a white collar professional, but I'm just asking out of curiosity) The thing is, though - men don't actually care about your high flying career (I mean it's a nice bonus) - we care that a woman is nice and sweet. That is all. I mean - the crux of the matter is not that these 2 are golddiggers. That's not what I'm trying to say. The point is - there are PLENTY of good decent men out there, but you have to remember two things: 1. No matter what kind of job you may have, you are not ENTITLED to dating someone of equal status to you. A man or a woman is not something that you can go out there and purchase, like a car or a watch. If he/she doesn't like you, it doesn't matter that you're the loaded CEO of a company - you aren't entitled to him/her if he/she doesn't like you. That is all. And this applies to both women AND men. If a guy comes to me and says, "Man, I can't find a girl who speaks English that is to my standard. All the girls who like me speak rather broken English!" I'd tell him : "Dude, just because you speak good English does not mean you are ENTITLED to a girl who speaks good English. If she doesn't like you, too bad. If you can at least find a nice girl who likes you and accepts you, you should be grateful that you found a good decent girl when many men can't, and stop whining about her poor English. Learn to make compromises, because in the real world, we don't get everything we want in life. It sucks, but toughen up and accept it, you spoiled little sh*t." 2. Guys don't care if you are a janitor or the CEO of a company - it is immaterial to man on how he evaluates female desirability. So you can believe that you DESERVE someone of 'equal status' as you because you have so-and-so profession, but sadly, THAT IS NOT HOW GUYS THINK. We DON'T CARE if you're pouring coffee at Starbucks, or are the CEO of Starbucks. I mean, I am not discouraging you from pursuing your dreams, but know that you are not ENTITLED to a man of equal societal status simply because you've worked hard and succeeded at your career - no one is entitled to anyone. I mean you can whine and mope about how there aren't any 'eligible suitors' - buy a box of cat food as well, but stop BLAMING MEN if you're still single and unable to find a boyfriend because you're single, take accountability for once and admit that it's your fault you're single, not men's fault. It's not that you COULDN'T get a boyfriend, or there were no good men out there - you couldn't get the SPECIFIC guy you wanted. But you aren't ENTITLED to that specific guy you want, just like a man of high status isn't ENTITLED to the specific woman he wants. If an uppity yuppie guy keeps rejecting women because they aren't 'high class or sophisticated enough' for his taste, and he has the cheek to complain that he can't get a girlfriend, I would tell that he DESERVES to be single. Similarly, if you can't seem to attract the man you want, yet there are dozens of SIMPs who can tolerate your snotty entitled behaviour, then you likewise deserve to be single.

[@raymondhartono]

the ability and ease of women to find a job in Singapore will contribute to the difficulty of earning similar pay/income spouse. But I understand thee practicality it stems from

[@nononononoonononon]

Slyvia you were in my science PSLE test today xD did you cooperate with MOE? 🤔

[@priscillatan5469]

Omg yeah!

[@noahwilliams6094]

omg yess haha

[@raydontan1301]

So how many apples did sylvia had?

[@bernice4184]

Science was so hard :(

[@samuelho5170]

Jiayou Nina! !! 👍👍👍 May you find the most suitable guy as your partner soon! Don't compromise your standards and values just for a new r/s .

[@itsabegailadaofficial]

OMG!!!! This is totally relatable though I am not Singaporean but was married to one! 😅 I love the part where you mentioned the high expectations of society for women to be a flawless wife and a mother, daughter in law, sister in law etc... the adaptation to a new life and culture, from being a career woman to being a homemaker... ALL THESE ADJUSTMENTS! They expect women to be all these things... and a single mistake makes us less of a person sometimes... 🤔 There is nothing wrong to speak out... especially when we are in the right... modern women are opinionated and educated and we have to voice out our minds as well as much as men voice out their minds... Just saying. 😊 Also, I totally agree that there is nothing wrong in maintaining ourselves and not to lower down our standards just because guys expect women to be behind them or to keep up with them... you cannot tame an alpha women because we’ve been through a lot and we know how to carry ourselves. We have been tested and prevailed... I truly believe men and women nowadays are to be treated equally... 🤷🏻‍♀️ Thank you TTS, been a fan just recently.... love you both! 💋💋❤️❤️

[@MalaysianBlobeye]

Looking for Mr.Lim in the comment section 🧐

[@yed8736]

men generally need a woman who can support him and encourage him and admire him and cherish him. But generally a man will not express he has such needs, it makes him look weak. You will be surprised how much a man can give or go through in life for a woman who constantly make him feel positive. Because a man is always well-equip to dominate and lead in life. Every man’s potential is huge. Some just blossom later.

[@hui2ng]

totally agree that we are just finding equal, not gold digger. we do not want to be financially depend on men, nor we want men to depend on us !

[@byrxnl6759]

i see banner, i click

[@gummyypeach]

I don't think Nina should nitpick with the guy asking her if she sees them married or having a child tgt. That's one of the very common life values many ppl have, guys/girls vice versa, and he just needs to know if u guys share this value that he deems important to him. Why is Nina dissing him?

[@beatriceyang7534]

Yes she should have put things in a better way but she didn’t. From what I see she was mainly upset with the guy talking to her about stuff in the future instead of focusing on issues of the present that they should solve. It’s like if you have some problems with someone now but that person doesn’t want to work on those problems and instead talk about stuff in the future. Sorry to say this but I think that Betty intentionally talked about settling down so that Nina would break up with him because he understands her type of commitment phobic personality. Some guys just don’t want to be the dumper because when girls are dumped they are more likely to make a big fuss out of it. Nina is an influencer and he doesn’t want to make a big hooha out of it.

[@angelinehuang1753]

This episode is so damn good. Only Alpha women can understand this. 💪

[@rebeccahshan]

Honestly, even though some ladies can be high maintenance but it’s not necessary for the guy to maintain them right? If a lady is maintaining/taking care of herself so well all this time, then why do they need a guy to maintain them when they are in a relationship? I mean I don’t think they need it and I don’t think they want it, because it somehow taking something away from an independent lady isn’t it?

[@JingH]

*GO GET 'UM GURLLSS*

[@AN-cw8ub]

Why would you care? As long as you have enough comfort, money and independence does it matter? Also, you have the sisterhood you are good.

[@retrorider7521]

Season guy listener here lol, I would like to shared my views just for the fun of it haha. 1)Agreed but I have a counter question, how about earning lesser but happy and contented with what they have? 2) For the high expectation, i can say for the guys who were born in the late 80s that most of them would want some traits from their 'mom' and they are mostly housewife so some hopefully would like to find girls that can do that but to be frank like you both said earlier girls need to evolved in this day and age. I empathised both side. 3) for the guy's comment haha girls just swipe left, immediate red flag XD. Anyway as a person who is currently separated, theres nothing wrong being single. Media projects the way we see in life as Happily ever after like in movies (i blame disney for it XDXD) or dramas that we have to find the one so that we can settle down and life can be complete. There's nothing wrong being single, you need to know what you want for yourself so that eventually the next person comes you know what to expect in ur future partner (i learnt the hard way). If it doesnt come then just enjoy life. Totally agree with you all this, the marrying means you have to deal with the other partner's family as well. Also kids is a BIGGGGGGGGG COMMITMENT PLEASE THINK TWICE THRICE BEFORE EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT . DONT BE PRESSURED BY YOUR FAMILY!!!! haha sorry for the caps lol! 4) For this kinda goes back to my point number 3 coz southeast asian country in general they live a simple life, most girls might be contented earning enough to get by also staying in the suburban area or some housewife material so i see why most guys would think this way. And you're right Domestic goddess was what they are looking for XD. So in the end Mr Lim should just go buy a bride XD. 5) For this case Nina and the guy working lifestyle and both of your visions in the future are different. So make sense it didnt work out. Nina really dodged the bullet right there XDXD