Adult DnD Players Bully A Literal Child | r/rpghorrorstories

[@DefectiveDictionary777]

The kid had a literal fedora as a dad

[@absolutfx]

I feel awful for the first kid (not sure the age now). What awful parenting. They don't know how lucky they are to have kids showing interest in their hobby. I sit around playing with dolls and tea parties instead of slaying dragons and casting spells.

[@jarrettcox3557]

I’ll be honest they set that kid up for failure. That’s like you getting mad at someone for bringing in a destiny raid without understanding what’s going on

[@garfjaconsen1161]

The dad and all those players need a good beat down.

[@AmaryInkawult]

Oooooh, I haven't been a nerd breaker in years~ I volunteer!

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

This dad and swab jockey would love to explain, IN EXCRUTIATING DETAIL, how messed up that was.

[@elementairttv]

Jeez that dad.....as a dad myself im just starting to teach him about it.

[@starbird3939]

You are a good dad. If you ever get the chance, please share the dad stories. I also recommend the podcast Dungeons and Daddies (Not a BDSM Podcast)

[@erinbrown3744]

My own dad never liked or understood my nerdy hobbies growing up. That first story makes me wanna drive the thirty minutes out to his and my mom’s house just to give him a hug. For all our lack of understanding, he’d never tolerate anyone treating me like that.

[@indifferentsmiley]

How heroic, a bunch of middle aged men bullying a child. They must have felt so proud.

[@jamison85]

Total dad fail in the first story. Fuck, how can you do that to your own child? And then double down on the bullying? Makes my blood boil.

[@chromebison5900]

Hearing alot of these stories, including the first of this video, I'm wondering if alot of nerds were just bullies who were on the lower end the torment ladder.

[@Wellshem]

Give power to someone who used to be weak and you'll either get a boyscout or psychopath, but never anything in the middle

[@Trikotomy]

"Slaves would be tyrants were the chance theirs." - Victor Hugo

[@ember3579]

I'm surprised that the first story didn't end in at least a threatened divorce. That shit is straight up child abuse. Any proper dad would be kicking their 'friends' asses for working their kid over like this. This shit how you convince children that you hate them.

[@arugenback]

Damn, makes me glad my father wasnt around. 😂 Both parents are terrible as far as im concerned, the father for being that way and the mother for tolerating her child being treated like shit. Hope buddy is doing well now.

[@reniefuwa]

Well, they were at someone else's house; she didn't know, so she couldn't do anything. I'd like to think she would have disallowed the event from happening if she knew it would turn out like that

[@arugenback]

@@reniefuwa I'd love to think that as well, but the fact that she decided to marry and be with a man that would do that to his own child shows that she's not a good judge of character and possibly similar.

[@arugenback]

​@@reniefuwaand the fact that OP learned about the other information later from his mother shows that the mother was made aware of the situation and the fact that the father never spoke to the child about the situation shows that there was no discussion about maybe apologizing to their child for being a complete piece of crap. So mother is just as guilty as far as I'm concerned. But crap parents deserve no slack in my opinion

[@SushiKatGamer]

That dad deserves to have his arse kicked for how he treated his kid at his table. There's no excuse for that at all!! I've had a seven year old at my table, it was the son of one of the other players. The kid knew nothing about the game beyond knowing that he'd play a character and make stories with everyone else. I had the kid and their parent join a session 0 and an intro session before the next main session. The parent and I helped him make a character that was suitable for the game, and ran the intro session with focused on teaching basic mechanics, his class abilities and how combat worked. He then joined the main game. Sure, i had a couple other players complain about him asking too many questions, meta-gaming (we gave him a little licence to use OoG info in game, although we'd point out that he didn't really know that information as his character, trying to encourage him to not meta-game without hindering his enjoyment or feeling too overwhelmed by the amount of information he was getting) and that he'd take too long with his turns. My response: "He's 7 and learning the game. If you have a problem with me allowing new players at my table, perhaps you don't belong at it." The 7 year old is now in his mid 20s and he's one of the best DMs I've seen for helping new players learn the game; he's patient, understanding and encouraging to any new or shy player at his table. He's not always the most imaginative or creative when running games for more veteran players, but that doesn't detract from how good he is drawing out creative roleplay and understanding of the game in his players. He also still plays at my table when we play FtF.

[@SirusEinzla]

If the op from the first story is playing, i can just imagine all the sparky comebacks he has against his dad now. I'm petty enough to never let my dad live that down if he did that to me.

[@jas-c3610]

I mean children are annoying and stupid, yeah... When you as parent trying more to mock them with your buddies instead of teaching.

[@TylinaVespart]

Christ, that first story. I DM a table with mostly children, including my kid. We’ve been playing (a basic version, slowly introducing rules) since he was 5-6ish and he’s pretty good. He’s still under ten, so there’s a bit of leeway for making mistakes in game and getting fidgety and there’s a few other kids in preteen-mid teen years. Plus two adults. One adult is totally new to the game, and I never have any problems with him. He’s pretty chill, doesn’t talk down to my younger players, and seems happy just to see where the adventure goes. The other has been playing for a long time, DM’d before, and I’ve had to check him a few times for telling the others what to do. Of all the people at the table he pushes the rules the most, though he’s generally okay and overall it’s fine. I couldn’t imagine keeping any players that started bullying others at my table. I have a 3 strike rule for minor issues/when things get a bit out of line. I’d absolutely instant kick a player for actual malice, ffs.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

Friend of a friend has two kids and runs simple quests with reasonable rewards. During one session he asked what they were going to do when they got back to town, they said they would look fr a place that had chicken nuggets. Simple game, simple pleasures, happy kids.

[@KCohere33]

Story 1: All those “men” especially the dad, should be ashamed of themselves. If there precious game was so Important, they should have thought him how to play or played something else age appropriate with him. Dad should have told his Ahole friends to lay off his son at the very least.

[@paulman34340]

Yeah, I had former "Friends" like that, brought my nephew to a game (he was 10, this was a year ago) and they acted similar! Difference is I SHUT THAT DOWN HARD and left the moment they "tried the crusher" Almost got violent with them and luckily he never noticed the bullying (I gave them three strikes, and it was THREE Indications, meaning they were TESTING the waters, first time got them a grunt and glare! Second time was the equalivent of a Cartoon Bull blowing smoke out of his nose in preparation for a rage! Third time almost got my Dice thrown in DM who was allowing this face!) and I was able to get out of there without him ever knowing (though wouldn't be surprised years later if he made a horror story of it or a Glory story! I brought him to get Ice Cream....despite being low on funds myself at the time! But it was to make him feel happy and we got home and I let him play video games on my system! He and his sister could get destructive so I never liked letting them touch my game systems! But this time I made an exception! He had fun! Later in the week when I DID get money, I brought him to a movie he liked!) But I NEVER will tolerate bad behavior to my nieces and nephews! They are EXTENSIONS of their parents, my younger siblings who I love dearly and their KIDS! Bullying kids is just PATHETIC! Being a bully in general is as I learned growing up being a target of them AND one for a year which I feel shame for! It was good to dump that group anyway, they were starting to turn into people that were unrecognizable then what they were when I met them three years prior to that shitshow! Now they ARE such FULLY! Wonder if this was their TRUE characters all along! Will never know and I don't give a shit to know!

[@austinmaves]

Sounds like you shouldn't bring kids to an adult game, fuck them kids bro

[@RockR277]

Man, imagine being those middle aged dudes picking on a kid, but _really_ imagine being that dad. Holy shit dude.

[@iank472]

I appreciate the DM in the Glory Story letting the dice decide what happens rather than getting annoyed with the sudden change of situation especially considering the fighter was doing a great job of styming the DMs attacks on the party. It can be frustrating when a party throws a spanner in the works of your encounters but very often that's where the most fun can be had!

[@db5627]

The father in the frist story should be ashamed of himself. This is near emotional child abuse.

[@mikec1222]

Nothing near about it

[@mercofrevenge1]

As a parent, you'd think you'd want to teach your kid about your hobby in hopes they'll pick it up. This dad let his child suffer at the hands of his own friends and only worried about his own personal embarrassment when OP got emotional.

[@sodenoite45]

@@mercofrevenge1 Right? his dad and dads friends are a bunch of kids, the most mature one in the first story as the kids serious.. i undestand that sometimes you want to play a serious game and is not suited for kids but the dad could work out a more light game on another day to play with his kid i dont know. His decision are the worse that could be done.

[@theofficerfactory2625]

Story 1: Worst father of the year goes to OP's dad. WTH! Story 2: "Trust me; I'm a pro!" Uh huh. Hello Alice! Story 3: Not sulky child; one who cannot differentiate the difference between character and player. Story 4: Hurray for adulting successfully! Story 5: RIP magically created/ summonsed rat. Your sacrifice was not in vain. Fair winds and following seas. F in comments people for the rat.

[@crmpldleaves]

F

[@williek08472]

2nd story: I find it's best to start making your character sheets and let the GM approve them a few days before your first session. That way you know how to use your character for both combat and roleplay, and you don't have to make up stuff on the fly too much. Also Alice has such a beautiful voice 😻

[@Nikodraws149]

I'm glad everything worked out for the op from the dragon story! It's really nice to see

[@FreedomTrooper89]

That first story, i'm sorry that is a terrible terrible father. There's No excuse for that. I could never even imagine treating my own kid like that, let alone somebody else's kid. All those people are just absolutely terrible people.

[@AmaryInkawult]

That rat deserves a monument worthy of a war hero

[@DistilledBemusement]

As someone whos both a dad and got bullied by one of the players in my first d and d game (I was 13 and he was a full adult) the first story makes my blood boil

[@kou7191]

There is no context whatsoever that could justify an adult, let alone a GROUP of adults, laughing at a crying child. Heck, I don't like nor am I good with children, but I wouldn't fuel the fire when they get upset either, it's just.... common decency? Those people were aholes.

[@caseyhaywardfoxington5324]

The rat burial at sea part made me cry

[@vortega472]

For the first story: The family that plays together - stays together. Dad should be proud he has a kid interested in his hobby. He could have used that session to do an intro or do games on the side, lend him a book. I hate when adults bully kids. I hate bullies period. Oh sweet little Alice, I love her singing voice. Yes sweetie, I have already liked, and am commenting now. As to the last - feel good story - Doge - don't you mean that's thinking outside the rat. Huh. Huh! Okay, I'll see myself out - see everyone next Tuesday.

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

kills the character while the player is in the loo.... there should be a special place in hell for that.

[@morganmcinroy4211]

I have a daughter and i love playing ttrpgs with her. We play simple ones that are easy for her to learn and her attention span is short (3 years old) but that's part of being a kid. That dad was horrible, and if I heard about ny husband doing that we would be getting counselling at the very least.

[@andrewbyrne2173]

That’s so nice you do that. Happy gaming to you and your child!

[@blinkspot2667]

Maybe for the 20k special, you could do a stream of the cats playing dnd? Haha!

[@patjacksonpodium]

Second Story - Im gonna be that weirdo and stick up for the DM a little bit here, because I think I know what they were TRYING to do. Im guessing that they were pressed for time, considering how little "story" they actually got through, so character creation would probably be too time consuming. (They wanted to play D&D, not crunch numbers after all) So, with that in mind, I'm guessing that the DM decided to introduce them to the concept of Role Playing in general with a free form, off the cuff surrealist tutorial. Its not about rolling dice, its about getting in the headspace of creativity and roleplay. If that was their intent, I totally get it. And maybe he didnt do a good enough job explaining what he was going for, but it seems OP and his friends didnt get it, because they were acting like murder hobos. Not surprised the DM didnt offer to run another, more proper session. I would have been hesitant too. So yeah, not saying the DM did a great job, but I feel like I get what he was trying to do.

[@MWH12085]

Could've been worse. He Could've started the session by saying 'ok, everyone take off your pants.'

[@JKevinCarrier]

Yeah, I think his heart was in the right place, he just kinda failed to "read the room" and realize the kids were looking for something a little more structured and serious. No a-holes here, just a clash of expectations.

[@hellbreakfast1590]

If you don't want a kid in your game, don't let a kid play, christ. Kids will need lots of help, depending on age! This makes me think of every story where parents take a task away from a kid and do it themselves because they don't have the patience to teach them. What a crock of shit.

[@SwatyChopsuey]

Hey DnD Doge, just wanna say been binge listening to your vid while at work (Electrician here) and I love em, keep them coming !

[@starkraver-7938]

Don't understand what that dad was thinking? If my friends were bullying my kid until they cried i would have torn them a new one and taken my kid home.

[@cassiemoyles4177]

My father did that shit to me, hes got one less kid to worry about :/ Poor thing, parents are supposedto protect you from these situations, not cause them :(

[@monikasernek1177]

I don't know how old OP in the first story was, but I am pretty sure such parental behavior teaches their kids not to show their emotional distress to them.

[@thomasferris1905]

Yea, maybe place a bit of blame on your mom for browbeating your dad into inserting a child into a group of adults.

[@mikeyost3672]

Dear OP, Revenge is a dish best served cold, and someday you will be selecting your father's nursing home.

[@Evoker23-lx8mb]

My dad’d be lucky to get that if he pulled that shit.

[@alarkhar]

About the first story... Once one of my players brought his baby cousing (eight years old) to our game (it was D&D4, if you wonder). I assembled a dwarven fighter for him, and gave him a Mordenkrad (classic dwarven weapon in D&D4, it's basically an oversized maul and does a ton of damage), that he nicknamed "Kneecapper". He loved that hammer, and loved the game. He even got to solve a puzzle in an unconventional way: it was a water puzzle, so while the others tried various prods and twists he simply grabbed Kneecapper and busted the floor tiles open, so that we could look at the pipes underneath. When it was time to leave, he didn't want to; he wanted to stay here, swinging his hammer and turning skeletons to dust. I simply gave him his character sheet, and told him that he'll always be welcome at my table. Sadly, I never saw him again, but hopefully he's still playing and still swinging Kneecapper in somebody's campaign.

[@akun50]

What's sad is that both of the first two stories had a easy answer: Use cards instead of dice rolls. For the kid, have the suit affect what he can do (hearts give healing, diamonds give items to the kid or advantages to allies, clubs do basic damage to the nearest enemy and spades could do crit damage). By keeping it focused on basics, you could slowly teach the kid how combat works and work them up to playing an actual character while keeping the party from hating on the "useless rogue". For the second story, if everyone had magic the gathering decks, they could repurpose those. Monsters could be one-time defense or offense, land cards could provide resources (like coins or basic items), and spells would act as normal (milling spells or non-creature artifacts would be akin to flashbangs). Like MtG, they could have 20 health, draw 5 cards and go from there, with the GM creating the adventure along the way. I would say that until you were down to 5-10 cards, you wouldn't be allowed to reshuffle. Even if these were jank, they would probably be more balanced than whatever the GM in the second story came up with.

[@KugelBlitz0]

RIP disgusting ship rat, you were a true hero.

[@windyface9383]

Giving the bad guys something to target other than your characters is always a valid combat option. That rat died a hero's death.

[@dead_vibes]

Dear ole dad never would've heard the end of this.

[@cmndrkool321]

I have played DnD with children between 11-13, and let me tell you, there are some kids who just couldn’t shut up to save their lives. I have a cousin kiboshed a campaign because they literally talked for 40 minutes straight about nonsense. When his sister tried to get in a word, he shut her down immediately. We had to bar him from future campaigns because we couldn’t get out of the guild hall in session 1 because he kept talking. If he ever gets to come back, I am making his character a Kenku on purpose. The “zombies can’t talk” rule was probably because the kid was constantly interrupting the game with his pointless talking. It’s not really OP’s fault they can’t read a social setting, but those adults are all the a-holes of the story; and his dad ought to be ashamed of himself.

[@ganmerlad]

First story, poor kid. It sounds like it was either a night that neither parent wanted him around, or the mom had wheedled the father into including him in his favorite hobby (for bonding). But dad clearly didn't want to. Included kid just long enough to deceptively say "I tried" and to have an excuse to never do it again. The father *could* have done much better, but didn't want the kid there at all. To top it off, dad let his immature adult friends run rough-shod over OP because the dad clearly felt they were more important to him than the kid was. Dad's a loser and a pisspoor father, and mom really shouldn't have done that in the first place. Throwing a kid in with a group of adults (or even other children) who didn't agree to them being there upfront is a thoughtless move. That rarely goes well...the new person that's strong-armed into a group is almost always resented by the group, and if happens to be a group of bullies... DnD is actually a minor detail in this story. It could have been almost any other game dad and his friends played regularly -- it would have turned out the same way. None of them wanted the kid there and the father felt no responsibility for the kid's wellbeing. Awful. (now I want to know if the OP has any relationship with the father at all) The second story is kinda funny. In the story there's no indication the GM said he'd play DnD with them, just that he'd do an RPG with them that very minute. And he did, more or less. I'm not even sure the GM did that with malice or that it proved he was a bad GM. He took the time to send them on a short RPG adventure and that was that.

[@blissfulbabybatter]

Father should've checked his friends when they started picking on his kid

[@mizv4043]

if i were the kids mom the dad would be spending the week sitting out of home for that and then not allowed to speak when brought back while hes being berated for letting his adult friends bully his son.

[@7thsealord888]

Story #1 - Class act, people. Story #4 - I'm glad that things have worked out as well as they have. Lessons to be learned here, clearly. Story #5 - Great move by the Bard. "If it's stupid and it works, then it aint stupid." More seriously, I have to question the DM's balancing of this encounter - sounds like it was weighted heavily against the Party right from the start. Giving the rat a burial at sea was a nice show of respect, btw. :)

[@marybdrake1472]

Beware anyone calling themselves a "professional" DM. Chances are, they're full of it. Amazing, the paladin that started unnecessary fight with the dragon realized they mucked. We do not get that usually.

[@patjacksonpodium]

Third Story - No excuse for the Cleric's behavior whatsoever, but holy crap, for the love of god do NOT be that guy who fires an arrow into melee combat. I would be STEAMING if that had happened to me. I always tell them "Don't you do it." And then they say "Whaddam I gonna do?! I gotta shoot mah bow! Im the Ramger! It'll be fine!" And then, like clockwork, they roll a 1. I'd want vengeance too. (But I wouldn't go THAT far, that's stupid as hell.)

[@Arcticmaster1190]

My way of handling it would be something stupid, like after we’ve sat down to rest, I’d go “By the way, here’s your arrow back” and then stick him back with his own arrow. While ultimately, it wouldn’t mean shit since they’ll just heal it back up afterward, but they’d get the point.

[@briaseis]

“Don’t be the guy who fires an arrow into melee combat”? And assuming said enemy is the primary / only target… what are ranged fighters meant to do? Nothing in RAW demands friendly fire potential when targeting, and even in the story situation there was absolutely reasonable defense for a clean shot / line of sight considering the spiders were between the rogue and cleric. It’s annoying to be injured on account of your own party, but unless warned about the consequences ahead of time and the person acts recklessly anyway, crit fumbles at other PCs’ expense frequently come off as dick moves on the DM’s part. Bottom line is cleric was still being an infant over a few points of damage. Edit: Cleric seems like the type of guy to be equally pissed if no one tried to help him out of that situation at all, so.

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Cleric should be angry at the DM for having Gotcha! houserules that don't get revealed until triggered.

[@Arcticmaster1190]

@@briaseis Technically, there is another option that demands friendly fire potential. It’s an optional rule in the DMG of hitting cover, which if you treat a soft target (I.e., a friendly ally) as half cover, technically if you miss by that AC bonus, you hit the cover- the cover being your guy. Which makes things like attacking ranged into melee more difficult to do but makes sense. Still, irregardless of how it’s ruled, as someone said it shouldn’t be something that’s sprung on the players at the last second. I’d have pointed out that it would give them half cover and- as you advised- mention the potential to hit the ally as a possibility BEFORE the roll since the character would be aware of that, but that’s just me.

[@briaseis]

@@Arcticmaster1190 No yeah, I totally agree. I do however think the “hitting cover” thing would apply more to some situation where you’re trying to thread the needle to hit a mostly obscured target past them, as opposed to this scenario with the spiders where they’re the ones on the exterior swarming someone (but I guess it depends on if they all approached from one side and OP was on the side facing the cleric).

[@windyface9383]

If I had a kid, and I saw my friends make that kid cry, I would be minus some friends. Who DOES that.

[@CADJewellerySkills]

That father in that first story was an awful piece of work.

[@nooctip]

Oh please our cats have burial plans for rat, but it's not at sea.

[@solarchos4352]

10:28 - DO EET! DO EET!

[@gr_pillar]

Poor Mr. Jingles

[@theratking013]

I send them one of my "best" to aid the Group in the last story.

[@pikachuichooseyou4273]

10:21 The Internet runs on 🐕🐶🐾

[@Tirath]

3rd story problems started because of a DM using that stupid critical fumble house rule. That doesn't excuse cleric from being a jackass though. His action was completely uncalled for.

[@AmazingAutist]

13:43 the group should have called him out instead of saying it's a party deal, point out that he's being an idiot cuz one was a legitimate accident, born from the role of a dice, but his actions were intentional and deliberate. People need to call people that dumb asses they are.

[@AvatAR42420]

Ten is a little young for D&D, but the dad had two options.Either explain that he a bit too young to join in and offer to teach him when he is older, or give him some simplified or NPC role, maybe as someone rescued by the party. A simple NPC stat block and such. If it was just that the dad and the friends did not want him around explaining that this is dad's time for hanging with his friends would be better than bullying your son. What kind of grown men bully a ten year old anyway?

[@underfire987]

Uhh first story, hey 3.5 is not OSR, idk how old that poster was, but the OSR wasnt even around then,might want to correct the title, sounds like hes trying to take his anger out on the OSR which is not right.

[@amyln]

I'm sure you'll be able to make 20k! \o/

[@CallMeKes]

Tl;dr at the end. That last story reminds me of Steve. My Druid came with the Light cantrip that's to a racial ability. So the first time the group came to a dark place, the goliath Barbarian complained about not being able to see. Complained a lot. So in mild annoyance my girl picked up a stone, cast Light on it and stomped over to the Goliath, dropping it into his open hand. "It's name....is Steve." Goliath: "Oh shit." With awe in his voice. Now that it had a name, he HAD to protect it. Fast forward MANY many session, we still have Steve. The bard even drew a little face on it. Well, here comes the puzzle of doom, as we call it now. We're stuck in a room, the tunnel back collapsed. The only way out is this diseased river we really don't want to touch. But what's this? A hole in the wall? There's a room behind it! The wall reacts to force and light (Probably sound too but we didn't get that far). Long story short (too late) we tried using the Steve in close proximity to the wall. The light grew brighter and brighter until, *crack*! Steve shattered into a bunch of little pieces. RIP Steve. We loved you. tl;dr: The stone we used to cast light on became an honorary party member until his death to a light puzzle. P.s. We never figured out the puzzle, we cast Daylight on it, the wall shattered and let out some eldritch evil. No idea what we were supposed to do.

[@Kjfungirl]

Rest in peaces, oh great Rat 🙏🐁

[@lorddreemurr]

The kinda dad you might just wish would go out for milk already.

[@AvatAR42420]

The "first time D&D" was not D&D. When I was in high school we typically played homebrew, typically comedy RPGs based on a single d20. Sometimes we had simple stats. Sometimes we didn't bother and it was more of a lose story telling game. Bethesda, Chaos, The D20 Game, The Curse Words Always Sound Louder.....same game really, different game masters. They were fun, but they were not D&D and we did not try and say they were.

[@tesuniekataren46]

Wonderful dad. Maybe it is just me, but I would have been proud to have my kid be interested in playing D&D, and I would have had my claws coming out on the rest of the group. I also, though, would have had my kid's character and my own have some in game connection or even relation to try and make things easier. That way, not only is my character guiding their character, I am guiding them on how to play as well. So much potential... ruined.

[@Serilaene]

Story 4: I'd honestly ask for my character's death to be retconned in that situation. If everyone agrees that shit went wrong & they should use a "pause" button to discuss things, there's no reason OP should be the only person to face consequences for that other guy's bullshit.

[@9liveslie-cat-lie129]

For rat bag pipes playing amazing grace, at burial at sea.

[@newtondood]

The field story DM was slow in the head.

[@Xylarxcode]

For the second story: I'm also a DM who doesn't do too much prep and likes to improvise, but that was way too far, lol. You do need to have *SOME* things prepared and there are essentials you just can't skip. A character sheet, the right amount of dice and at bare minimum, a semblance of a story and some prepared NPC's, encounters both social and of the combat variety and a general idea of loot distribution. Winging DnD to that extent with absolutely *nothing* physical on you, except for a single dice isn't playing DnD. That's just telling a fantasy story. You might as well be reading them a children's book. A very poorly written one, at that. For the third story: That one's on the DM, imo. When the cleric casts curse on the rogue to make him clumsy and screwed over his group, all the DM needed to do was say: 'No. You don't do that. Because you're not a 5 year old. Knock it off.' And for the glory story at the end: Were it my campaign, that bard would have earned himself a point of inspiration for that. Like Doge said, moments like these are why we love playing the game. When crazy antics just work out in a hilarious (and in this case, very clutch) manner.

[@TheLaughingDove]

I'm a new gm, but an old roleplayer, and one of the best tricks I ever pulled off was being *ahem* comfortably buzzed enough to start singing "actual cannibal Shia lebouf" as a fast paced combat prompt for my table when they were all fractured. I'd have people roll d20s purely to act as measuring sticks or prompts for moves but there was no action economy, only improv and rhythm, and everyone at the table getting into it together before exploding cannibal lebouf atop a unicorn horn. You don't need much for a roleplay session, but you do need one thing. A shared vision. You all have to be making the same phantasm together, and if you're the gm, you're expected to make the mama phantasm from which the players will grow. This DM basically just threw them out into the woods with nothing to unify em, what a tosser.

[@l0stndamned]

While I can respect that the other players might not have been too keen on having a kids tag along, the dad was massively out of order treating his child like that. A proper parent would have made sure to give their kids an introduction to the game first.

[@davidmallernee3868]

this is why there is a 12 year old recomended starting age " first story"

[@Krensharpaw]

Why didn't the dad teach him and maybe have him just be like a touch carrier for the group or carry gear. Or maybe run a game for him and his friends. Jesus...

[@shadiafifi54]

I don't think the "professional" GM from the second story was a professional MTG judge. Probably just was talking big.

[@pulsefel9210]

to those against crit fumble, you should consider the opposite. if a nat20 always hits there is a 5% chance no matter what you can get hit. unless youre literally untargetable you can not avoid damage always. so by right there should be a matching chance for things to go wrong. now the degree of the fumble shouldnt be outside the realm of realism. an archer missing shouldnt have the arrow veer off course and go somewhere it couldnt. falling short, going passed, hitting another close by target would all be reasonable. for melee having the target dodge so expertly you stumble or overshoot and hit yourself or someone nearby would be ok. spells have a large variety of effects but for the most part "missing" with them just makes them go off without a target or using a point in space as target.

[@rynowatcher]

1st one: 3e is not osr. This was years ago, so they were playing the current edition. This really needs context for how old op was in this. Op's mother made their dad take them to a game. There is a reason some people do not have kids; not saying they are good people but they might not know how to deal with kids or how the normal "ball busting" that adults do could be seen as harsh to kids. The horror story is that op's dad is letting this happen more than the other players, but that might be a thing where he agreed to "try taking junior with him to a game."

[@arcady0]

First Story: OP needs to confront his father, now that he's an adult, and call the man what he was: a pathetic example of a man and father.

[@mark9960]

In the first story, are they just asshats? Like yea, kids are annoying, but damn it just help the kid.

[@ryuuky4305]

The dad in the first story should not be allowed to be a parent…shitty and abusive dad

[@amitamaru]

Where was that second game? Wonderland?

[@adamtifone9243]

Literally all 3 of my KZbin profiles are subscribed to you doge

[@DarthRic_]

"Professional GM" 😂 This just makes me laugh. Also, can you really say you are playing dnd when you don't have even one dnd book at the table?

[@DominicEverlot]

Can I like and comment for Simba's blessing I have already subscribe❤

[@oldmanshinji9662]

Deserved lol, have a lot of experience with the game, dont be a kid, have better dad.

[@mrinternet009]

More like dont be a dad

[@pillmitchell1429]

They need to give DM in the second story a break he was running a simple choose your own adventure because they had no gear on them and they got up his ass about every little thing

[@deraj00]

I tend to like your analysis at the end of the stories but the first one these solutions are not applicable to the situation you have... You have an assumption that the guy cares about his kid's enjoyment or care about their interest in their hobbies... but the story literally starts with OP noting his mother had to "beg" for them to be included. The father didn't want him there, has no objections to what his friends are doing and is actively helping them do this. I'd put money he is in on it, maybe even that it was his idea. Well these suggestions don't fit. He didn't want him there so let's give him a side quest so he is more involved. He isn't wanting to spend time with him, so let's give him an entire campaign of his own. It just creates more work for the father to do a thing he had no interest in doing in the first place. I'm not justifying it, I'm just saying. if he got that advise he'd probably ignore it as he doesnt get what he wants. Some parents are just shitty like that.

[@schwarzerritter5724]

How to make players not get angry when dying in an unfair way: Make the game so bad the players are glad it is finally over when their character dies.

[@vungocbao9242]

First

[@joshpiotrowski3487]

"Mom made dad take kid on his one day he gets to hang with his friends, and dad friends tolerate child in their hanging out time best they can." Mom's the a$$h0/e

[@TheGamersfolly]

If my friends made my kid cry on purpose, they would not be my friends.

[@DellikkilleD]

children shouldnt be gaming with a kid. its kinda fucked up and creepy.