20 Year Friendship DESTROYED Over DnD

[@august3787]

Sometimes violence is necessary especially when dealing with a gaslighter.

[@FordPrefict42]

Dear OP from Abusive GF, That was the absolutely correct level of violence to meet the level of bullshitterry used by your friend's abusive gf. Using self harm to control someone else is despicable. Most people that commit unalive don't often talk about it. I had friends that were the most fun loving, interesting, caring, and generous people you would ever want to meet, who one day simply unalived themselves. It came out later why they had, and I never suspected that they were that depressed over their situations. It never presented itself in public. Defending your friend from her abusive gf was a positive, regardless of how harsh you think you were to her.

[@Evoker23-lx8mb]

Exactly. Some people just need to have it told like it is even if it hurts at the time.

[@wyvern723]

My mom used to do that to me, call and say horrible things whenever she knew I was out with friends. Before I moved out for college, she would leave mean notes in my bathroom telling me that my friends were going to abandon me. It culminated in her calling me while I was at my husband's birthday party and insisting that I had cancer (I did not, I had a freckle) with glee in her voice. I stopped talking to her that day and after a few days, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I have not talked to her in a decade now, and I am so much happier. Don't stay with someone who hurts you.

[@nobodybroda3826]

Hell yea brother/sister! Fuck that hoe. Remember you can pick your friends AND your family, don't bother with shitheads like that. I hope you find folks in your life that make you as happy as can be, people you deserve.

[@asioca1992]

Story 1: As unfortunate as it may be to lose a friendship, the reality is that the "friendship" was one-sided and on life support long before he decided to stop being friends with OP. It always baffles me how someone will do something obvious and then get mad when someone puts 2 and 2 together though, surely a Fighter (with presumably decent STR and CON) could've dragged out 2 bodies and hid them somewhere if he didn't want to be caught, though ending a friendship over the idea that OP and Ranger was out to get him was just silly. Story 2: I know OP is hard on themselves for not doing anything sooner due to "being dumb teenagers" but honestly, even full grown adults can have trouble missing the signs of abuse and I think that OP handled it the best way he could, considering he was young and this was most likely the first time he had to deal with helping a friend escape an abusive relationship. The fact that Amanda decided to storm into another person's house to physically drag her girlfriend back home was straight up ridiculous and I don't really blame OP for resorting to threats of violence, especially when she tried to downplay the severity of what happened by trying to blame Sarah for "being a drama queen."

[@wyvern723]

It's how a lot of abusers operate. they have the people around them convinced that they are good people, as they quietly torture others in the background.

[@schwarzerritter5724]

I believe the moral of the first story is: Don't make sacrifices that make you hate people.

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

or being humble is a great trait.. but dont leet yourself become the blood bag of someone that cant look beyond ther own desires or petty ego.. thats to be reserved for those that is drained in the effort to help others themselfs ,not to nurture ther ego.

[@Thedragonlover95]

The cats and their effects. Lucky: Gives 20% Charisma when given food Nipsy: Gives 15% Stealth when given small favors of any item they like And i'm sure the others will give other effects. These are the moral support kitties whenever the Doge summons them when called upon.

[@ShyBiiteVT]

The moment Amanda forced herself into the house uninvited is the moment OP and friends should've called the police.

[@tarnishchris]

The mystic mind control your cats have is amazing

[@Dragmiredraws]

I like the idea of the school guidance counselor, but having been exposed to one MANY times in high school. It only wouldn’t made it worse. They’d just brush them off saying, “Lover’s quarrel.” Something like that and find someway to blame the victim. I know cause it happened to me in high school

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

Yeah, in my experience as well, school staff will just add to the gaslighting.

[@ShyBiiteVT]

Sadly, this is far too common in public schools. The staff care more about maintaining the school's "good reputation" and government funding, and as a result will heavily try to brush stuff like this under the rug.

[@YinYangAngel55]

This might just be the violence in me talking but unwanted touching goes both ways. You touch me, I slap you

[@rogueDND]

1st Story: He wasn´t a friend, he was taking advantage of the DM need for friends, that is the only way a person can be so blind as not to see this obvious demonstration. He didn´t care about him at all.

[@marybdrake1472]

Wow, Amanda is a word I don't want to use. It starts with C and ends with T just to be clear.

[@ShaggySatyr]

A good monk doesn't need stuff to be effective. At least in Pathfinder a properly and purpose built monk can operate with 10gp in possessions at any given point in time. That's the cost of a starting outfit.

[@kevinkrueger7479]

"Abrasive GF" is a classic example of a malignant narcissist. I hope "Sarah" is okay today.

[@frostfyrezero1830]

Story 1: Losing a good friend for over 20+ years is hard, but at the same time, that friend was suffocating. Story 2: I am glad they interviened on that and OP is being hard on themselves and we all at some point have done reactionary things as teenagers. I don't think their reaction was wrong because if I were in their shoes, I would have done the same thing. Yet, it isn't the right way either. And I say this having beat up an abuser in my class and dragged to the office. >:/

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

Similarly, the only way I got my father to stop physically abusing me was by demonstrating that I wouldn't be letting him do it anymore without fighting back. Go figure that once a bully realizes they're the weaker one they aren't so keen on violence being the first impulse.

[@brianvance1178]

Sarah should call Amanda’s bluffs on the suicide threats

[@PaladinGear15]

In an old game I was in, to make things run a bit smoother, you could just assume certain small things unless told no by the DM. For example, if you're looking through the Kobolds stash of supplies, you could easily just say "while looking through I find some deer jerky and feed some to my animal companion" and unless the DM says like "actually no, the area the kobolds live is devoid of deer so you can't find that" the DM generally would go with it. We did invite a new player who tried the "I find a belt of fire giant strength just sitting in the corner there" thing, but he didn't complain when that idea was shut down xD

[@shadiafifi54]

First Story: I agree with you, Doge. He clearly wasn't such a good friend to begin with. Second Story: Much as the OP's threat of violence was a bit much, I can't say I disagree with him. Those who threaten self-harm don't really mean it, and just try to use the threat as leverage over their victims. Granted, Amanda would have probably used OP's threat as a weapon against him in order to get her way, but her reaction shows she isn't as smart as she thinks she is.

[@tommaydag420]

I think in story 2 he did the right thing. I don't think a school councilor would have done much and would have tried to 'repair' the friendship first which would have opened the door to more abuse, just done more covertly.

[@robertocova73]

About the last story, that Amanda sounds like the typical toxic person from the book that you should avoid at all cost.

[@JoshtheOverlander]

Fifty Shades be sending all the wrong messages to people and it's terrifying

[@JacobL228]

I want to high-five the second story's OP so bad.

[@shinigamisway1645]

On the note of the second story, no , you didnt handle it poorly by dragging Amanda out to the parking lot. You did the right thing. Notice in these other stories when people act cowardly the abuse continues. I honestly dont understand the mentality in these stories where the ops have to handle everything with dignity and grace and never act with violence and blah blah blah. Nah. Fuck that. Dont be a coward. Protect your friends. You did the right thing op

[@paulmares9815]

19:00 Bruh... imagine; by that logic => if a dude in a group of other guys just started to grab the other's junk and be physical like that! He'd be getting his head split in a second 🤣

[@kurbyschneider1607]

I love that Nipsey's theme is from legend of Zelda ocarina of Time

[@Midnight3Wonder]

I hate to say this, but the first story actually kinda reminds me of my best friend of 20 years. She really hates to be corrected even when she's incredibly wrong about something and I just want to help her better understand something, taking it so far as to start up an actual fight with me just because I tried to be helpful. There are a lot of minor things that really trigger her, so I often have to navigate a landmine whenever we hang out. Whenever I do end up upsetting her, she tends to guilt trip me which leads me to always having to apologize even when I'm not in the wrong. However, here's where we differ for the better than what happened in the story. We're both autistic, so we have our reasons for the way we are but do try our best to manage it. I've noticed that my friend, however, doesn't seem to be getting the proper help she needs and I've been wanting to talk to her or her mom about possibly getting her into therapy to help her work out her issues. I myself see a therapist and it seriously helps. I just want the best for my friend and am willing to stand by her through this stage of stress in her life so that I can be there for her when she finally gets the help she needs. I'm not an expert on everything going on in her life, but she seem to be quite stressed out from everything she has going on in her life and sometimes takes it out on me. She's a very energetic and active person who hates to stay put for too long. As you can imagine, quarantine was an absolute nightmare for her and it seriously messed her up. Ever since she and her family felt it was officially safe to return to a normal way of life, she's kept herself busy with all kinds of activities. She's constantly calling me up to go for walks and go shopping, plays several sports, and just does whatever she can to get out there. I'm nowhere near as active as her and much prefer to stay home and relax while I work on projects. Even when I have a big art commission to finish up and need to finish it by a certain deadline, my friend tends to beg me to go out with her until I finally cave in. The few times I've been allowed to stay home and not dragged out of the house is when I'm feeling quite under the weather, though she does continue to text me about how much she wishes we could go out. However, when she does realize just how bad my condition is, she'll check up on me and make sure I'm okay which is really sweet of her. Right before quarantine, I got sick for a month the day before Valentine's Day and we had big plans to spend the day together, but she was more concerned about my health than our plans. She'd even text me everyday to make sure I was okay and send me encouraging messages to get better. Another factor for her stress is that she's had to get quite a few surgeries in the past few years. I don't know how, but that girl somehow manages to keep messing up her knees and ankles to the point that she's had to have at least 5 surgeries in just a few years. I do what I can to help her out, mostly by staying at her place to take care of her cats while she's recovering at her mom's. With all that going on, I can completely understand why she's so stressed out and frustrated. Again, I really hope that I can convince her or her mom to get her into therapy so that she can finally get the help she needs. After everything we've been through together and how strong our bond has grown, she's more than just my best friend. She's my sister and I love her. It's thanks to her that I've become so strong and confident. Literally when we first met, I was terrified to even speak to her because I thought she'd bully me like everyone else did. I didn't have many friends and was a prime target of bullies, so I was scared to even try making friends. But she somehow found me and got me to hang out with her. I was right about one thing about her when we first met: We are polar opposites. But, in a surprising twist, we're total opposites in all the right ways. She's given me strength and courage I never knew I had while I've helped keep her out of trouble and been her anchor in situations where she'd rush into something without a second thought and regret it. We're going through a rough time now in our friendship, but I'm hopeful that we can work things out and she can get the help she needs. I would probably have to talk to her mom about it more since it would be easier for her mom to directly encourage her to get therapy than me. I'm unfortunately very bad at wording myself and tend to say the wrong thing, so it'd be safer if her mom talked to her about it than me.

[@Razalkarp]

Leave now. That is not a friend.

[@Midnight3Wonder]

@@Razalkarp Because she's going through a lot of stress? No way. She may not exactly be at her best right now, but she's been the greatest best friend I could ever hope for. We might argue from time to time, but we still love each other to bits and are always there for each other. She may be at her worst in these recent years, but I still love and adore her and I know that she still cares very much for me. There are times where I may feel like I'm fighting to maintain our friendship, but I wouldn't give her up for the world. It's actually a good thing that she so often drags me out and stuff, and I don't blame her for being so stressed out after everything she's been doing after quarantine. We just need a chance to help each other set up boundaries and limits. I'm not exactly perfect in our friendship either. A very unfortunate side effect of my form of autism is that I am HORRIBLE at wording myself. Something that I may think sounds sweet and respectful in my head may, in fact, come out the completely wrong way when I say it out loud. I'm much better at communicating when I write, but even then I struggle. And I sometimes make jokes desperately trying to be funny that I always see others makes but it ends up coming off as something horrible to others when I say it. My friend has a terrible singing voice and I sometimes like to poke fun at her for as she's almost always singing out loud whenever she hears a song she likes, but that doesn't mean I don't love to hear her sing. I love how passionate and energetic she is when she does something she loves. It just so happens that she can't carry a note and I can't help but tease her about it. She unfortunately doesn't take my jokes too well, but I don't exactly take jokes at my expense to well either. I also have a bad habit of correcting others even when not needed, which can really drive people crazy. I feel really bad about it when I realize how upset I've made others and I do apologize, but I still end up repeating my mistakes over and over again. Speaking of apologies, that's another bad habit of mine that can drives others insane. I've literally gotten into fits where I will apologize for apologize and repeat this endless cycle until someone finally tells me to stop or I actually bite my own tongue. Honestly, with all my quirks that completely contradict my best friend, I'm kinda amazed that she still wants to hang out with me. To be honest, if it wasn't for the fact that our moms are also best friends and even started up a business together teaching children dance and theater, I don't my friendship with my best friend would have lasted. Despite it all, I'm still so glad that we're still here for each other. We might be in a bit of a rocky place right now with all the drama going on in our lives, but I know that we'll always be there for each other. That's kinda the big difference between our story and the story of OP's. Both my friend and I are just in a bit of a bad spot right now but are still fighting to preserve our friendship. The OP's ex-bestie just bailed on them the moment they realized that they couldn't push them around anymore. My best friend and I would never do that to each other. We just have some stuff to work out and get ahold of our own personal problems. I'm more than willing to be there for my friend just as she has always been there for me. After some time and we've both gotten the proper help we need, I'm sure we'll be laughing at how sensitive we've been over the most minor of things. Friendship isn't always smooth sailing, ya know. You're bound to hit rough waters and even go through storms if you've known each other long enough and are close. But if you can endure it, you'll have more than just a best friend. You'll have someone you can count on and love as family.

[@Razalkarp]

@@Midnight3Wonder Keep that type of love in your heart. I hope they truly appreciate you. You seem to appreciate them. Stay awesome!

[@Midnight3Wonder]

@@Razalkarp Thanks. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. Sometimes it helps to just vent a little. I know it's not right, but sometimes you just gotta get it out, ya know?

[@Razalkarp]

@@Midnight3Wonder Definitely. I said those exact words the other day to my bestfriend.

[@TigerKirby215]

The Fighter / Monk in the first story is just a shitty person, and sometimes it takes sitting down to do something you care about to realize that your "friends" are actually just shitty people. Like OP said it's obvious that his friend cared more about being right than maintaining their friendship, which is just a shitty attitude to have.

[@blueclaws9894]

I had a friendship 20 years or so old end because I heard his wife say she had never received flowers at her job and recommended it to him. He took offense, accused me of being controlling and a know-it-all. I tried to tell him it was just a suggestion and she HERSELF talked about wanting it. After the fact I offered several times to talk things out, I apologized if I had stepped on their relationship, but he never replied. After a while I asked if we were just done being friends and still never got a response. So...that was it. Probably for the best though. He started showing what a chauvinist and liar he was, wanting to force his wife onto a treadmill.

[@Darkloid21]

Sorry Doge but the guidance counselors are all but useless with stuff like this. They can't really stop bullying because they need evidence and rarely will the abused parties come forward and with testimony. Even when they get it nothing happens. They are quite literally useless. The only way she was gonna stop is if there was an actual threat being made against her. People like this are cowards who take advantage of those who can't or won't fight back, but when you threaten them they quickly fold as they have no real power. Other channels are useless, sometimes you have to be direct and to the point.

[@frostfyrezero1830]

I'm kinda in agreement with you on the counsellor stuff. Sometimes you get that one counsellor that cares and will go above and beyond, but those are rare.

[@davhot4107]

Pretty much just like adults. When a person theaten someone with physical violence, screaming and shouting and then a police officer with guns, tazers and batons came by they inmediatly back off and try to act as scary kittens.

[@theofficerfactory2625]

Oh, Nipsy's sounding a bit more posh today. Story 1: Wow. Entitled and spoiled with the sin of pride taking hold. Story 2: Oh boy; those tags doge. (gulp) Poor Sarah; being young means a lack of inexperience OP; it's not your fault for not catching it. Whoa, we now enter stalker territory!!! 21:41 Oh god, that poor girl. 22:30 Justified OP. If I may shill here doge; my sister runs a charity called Purple Rescue where she takes in pets of those in abusive relationships since most who are in that sort of trouble stay because they fear for their pets. She is in Florida and rode out Ian with only a few broken wooden fence sections.

[@ryanrizzo4869]

I like Nipsy's new voice. I like when cats have funny voices.

[@deepseastonecore3017]

Thanks 4 all the hard work.

[@Angel-qz9tn]

Honestly - the friend did way more then what any guidance counselor would every do.

[@SpenceSession]

Nice to see someone else got introduced to DnD from itmejp. I thought I was the only one. The first Roleplay stream i ever saw was the 40k one he did with Totalbiscuit (rest in peace legend). And i was like "Wooh. There are games like this?" and i looked at his channel and the rest is history. While I still haven't played in a ttrpg , I enjoy watching people play and learning about different games/game systems.

[@vortega472]

Wow, a couple of brutal ones today. At least we have Nipsy to brighten our spirits.

[@REfan2002]

The title card works so well. Also, we have kitties

[@Allantitan]

Abusive gf story: the gf needed a smack upside the head hard to knock some sense into her

[@RatedB1]

1st story, Duration and Quality are two different things

[@SnaxTheSnaxolotl]

Last story hit a bit close to home not a gf but an abusive so called friend

[@TheDanskMagnus]

If the Amanda story involves high school age kids, was any attempt made Sara’s parents to let them know about the situation?

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

hmm..20 years of friendship ?...no... 20 years of one guy being a rad friend.... and another guy leaching of that abusing the supportive tolerant treatment for ther own ego etc... :/ second story.... pack rage growing ...drive the parasite away! thank fk it hade a 'happy end'

[@thomascripe9905]

That guy who played the monk at the end I can never understand constantly meeting yourself to get the best outcomes I mean if you're always getting the best outcomes then nothing stands out I think one of the most hilarious parts of a game I'm in right now is when my barbarian got absolutely nothing they wanted from the dwarves that were enchanting our weapons and giving everyone gear well our ranger got obsidian arrows and a quiver of replenishing and our fighter got a flame tongue I basically ended up with a Homebrew item that just gives me dark vision because everyone else had dark vision so my secondary item was just catching me up to everyone and because I'm a barbarian druid build I asked if they had anything that would help enhance my moon druid abilities and they're like no we can make your Hammer plus too. So my character was denied getting anything towards what they wanted and told your week here catch up with everyone else and I think it's fun and that's just going to make when I do get something from say druids that will help my beast warm all the better because it's something my character has been wanting for a while.

[@soultpp]

Must obey Nipsy! Must be liked by kitty!

[@SnaxTheSnaxolotl]

Don’t worry nipsy I’m subscribed and liked the video!

[@mesiagamer5217]

Say I never noticed this before but it looks like part of the tip of nipes ear is missing is that why they're named that?

[@steveunderwood9307]

1st tale: sounds like 20 year friend was just using OP to stroke their ego. The arguments against things like difficult terrain for one square and being pissed his monks actions had consequences, plus how OP was the one to extend the olive branch and apologize seem to indicate that. When OP didnt cowtow to 20YOF they dropped the OP. I almost guarantee if OP did that years before their "friendship" would have ended the same way back then. Sad that it happened, but sounds like OP is doing just fine after it all.

[@pandasiah5264]

I always find it weird barbarians and fighters don't rp as much, my most rp'd characters have both been fighters

[@roarkthehalf-orc6598]

It's people like this that perpetuate the lesbians are abusive stereotype

[@novadrake9232]

I was going to like the video after I watched the whole thing but when I saw your kitty requested I just had no choice but to do it right after I saw nipzy?(I hope I spelled it correctly)

[@rb98769]

OP in the second story is a real good friend.

[@dorianleakey]

That first story, though OP didnt give his friend what he wanted, he let him argue and push and push and whine, he should have been really tough on him, it would have don more for the friendship.

[@asteriondeltoro124]

I'm going to propose an alternate explanation: Monk didn't want to play DnD. He said he wanted to bail because it was too time-consuming a hobby (which is true), but OP talked him into staying. He probably wasn't having fun and felt like OP was forcing him into it. Which might make OP the toxic friend in this situation.

[@Tbm998]

If that’s the case, why did he ask to join the homebrew game?

[@foisopracurtir6389]

@@Tbm998 Because 1:37

[@informitas0117]

Last one made me remember a very similar ex I had, It's awful.

[@TheMrgbms]

Honestly last story doesn't surprise me.

[@Inkubun]

DnD Doge back at it again with ANOTHER banger, common Doge W.

[@23gameoverlord]

I think emotionally abusive and just outright toxic girlfriend story was worst. I mean sure the ex-friend was a jerk but this girl was tormenting her girlfriend and treated as a 'lol she's so dramatic'.

[@idankatz8085]

Havent been this early to my own birth, keeup the awesome contentp

[@slagarcrue85]

Way to toss away somethings so valuable over some thing so frivolous.

[@BlueTressym]

If it was so easily ruined, it wasn't that valuable in the first place. A genuine friendship would see BOTH sides talking out the actual issues and finding ways to compromise, or part amicably if that wasn't doable. OP's 'friend' was no loss. The 'friendship' wasn't ruined over D&D; that was just the final straw.

[@luciellawliet]

Wow I’m early for once, say hello to the kitties for me plz

[@stephenadams8712]

You should dich the game play in the background and just show more cat videos

[@MidnightSt]

Wow, dude, whose gampleay is that? How can one be playing this clunky in this (basically endgame) area? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just very, very surprised.