Do Opposites REALLY Attract... or Make You Miserable?! | Matthew Hussey

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[@rhiannonh.7463]

Good example? My parents. Complete opposites. Happily married. HOWEVER, same morals, same political views, same shared views on money, etc… this is vital. So morals/inner compass is vital to making it work.

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Moral, ethicks, humanity, love/marrg requirements fulfilling must, othr things can b opposite, but basic main normal mandatory issues r must matched fr all

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Dfrnt political vews, dfrnt look, dfrnt financial conditions, dfrnt fam type, dfrnt habits r ok as all r dfrnt. But basic main issues requirements fr love/marrg/fend ship / fam r must to match

[@VRIceblast]

The question should be, do opposites really work together, and I would say the majority of time no. They may work for a little while, and then someone is going to get tired of the actions of the other, and it's going to cause friction, and eventually destroy the relationship.

[@dilaraodyakmaz709]

Frictions are well known to become problems in the future but if you are able to communicate with your partner while trying to understand where they are coming from and not just listening to reply, those frictions can be resolved in a really lovely way. But there should be mutual understanding and a great foundation of communication.

[@VRIceblast]

​@@dilaraodyakmaz709 True, but depends on what the friction is based on, because people rarely change. Some people are considerate to others, and will change if requested, and some people don't know what considerate means. There somethings that are so second nature to us, that even if ask not to do it anymore, we likely can't stop doing it. People rarely change, and you can learn what some people are willing, and able to change, and what they can't. You have to decide if you can accept that they can't change, and I guess, be considerate to them over it. Every relationship has some give and take. I just find, that if you are opposites, that give and take will be huge, and possibly, impossible to overcome.

[@KoolT]

Most time's, they attract but often don't stay together.

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

​@@KoolTthey attract they can stay frevr only when its love/marrg type all basic main nornal requirement fulfilling all.truths all goodnss humanity innocence all normal naturally both stable real human being both r into moral ethicks values, humanity, stability then. Othr dfrnt look dfrnt identity dfrnt habits dfrnt fam dfrnt financial conditions dfrnt political views dfrnt non basic likings wont bother.

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

​@@KoolT if those basic main normal requirements fr love/marrg not matched then even same matched comostible othr infos based eligible both also wont click wont stay ever

[@orlandocabrera6269]

Have boundaries and compromise. There's not a person "meant " for you. Dont have an expectation of the "one" . You will be very disappointed. Learn that no one is perfect and you will get hurt. What you need to find is someone worthy of your time. We chose who we fall in love with . We chose who we give our time . Learn to meet someone half way so you both can be happy. Learn to love unconditional.

[@pixie3393]

Yes. In some cases yes. I was very cold, logical, my exs have been sensitive, emotional, we balanced each other out I have a quick temper my other ex had a quick temper and it was horrible. I def appreciate when someone have traits dont have. I don't mean honesty vs loars or alcoholics vs non drinkers. I'm talking about healthy oppositions . I learned to relax and be free, let loose, and my partner learned to be more grounded, stable. It was a beautiful connection.

[@jealybeangoingplaces8496]

Then why’d you break up?

[@llanaforyou]

I think here he’s talking about values

[@pixie3393]

@@jealybeangoingplaces8496 stalker ex husband that kept interfering. As long as I was with someone he would cause problems. Courts wouldnt do anything. Safer for the kids. Ex hub finally out of the pic after years of stalking. And exs are still involved in my kids lives as support. Using this year to finish all loose ends. Court dates this year so hopefully it all goes well and that can be done with entirely. 💁🏻‍♀️ I'm in an amazing place in my life now thanks to the support of said ex and funny enough because he was my opposite and showed me how to develope in areas I was weak but he had as strength (our opposite traits) An amazing experience and certainly worth it. 😁

[@amandaantico78]

I couldn’t imagine being with someone with completely different values. I’m struggling with someone who has very different communication styles and love languages. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Values, ethics, morals, humanity, loving soul.heart body mind mentality feelings emotions basic main normal requirements fr love/marrg is must fr all ppl, else nver even frndship possible also, how love/bf gf/marrg? Thuu

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Why n how u? All truths at frst both then love/marrg. Else nver. Either u r d user or he us d player user.

[@alainam5540]

My dad told me opposites attract but they don’t stay and I think about that a lot

[@mariaakopyan-dignifieddivo5694]

I agree! I think sharing the same values and moral compass is important for a strong foundation and mutual understanding but personal differences do help to bring something new to the relationship-- new perspectives, and depth.

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

When its love/marrg/frndship /fam all.truths all humanity normal naturally then.compatibility incomparability all ok, else compatibility eligibilities also disastrous using destruction just

[@NathalieLazo]

The more we work on our own selves, the better we attract, in this case, a better partner and a phenomenal relationship. There’s no such thing as the “right person” (to an extend) we have to become the right person first! You got this, I believe in you and invest into YOU! Best investment you can ever do is in yourself for your family, others, future and lives overall! 💯% back guarantee return on your investment! Have a great day! 🚀🎉❤️

[@spedhead218]

It’s just not that simple unfortunately but I admire your optimism. Have a great day!

[@zeekeleton]

@@spedhead218 it is that simple if you take care of yourself it will be harder for people to replace you .. progress=happiness and you'll attract better people

[@soydansogukcesme470]

this nonsens of you will attract better people ... complete BS.. all you do is you attract the same people BUT you learn how to respon or see it from an diferrent angle.

[@fraziersolarzmelissadean2733]

I think this theory works for a lot of people today, and maybe for everyone in the past; however, because of today's day and age, the universe just doesn't work like that for most of us. 🤔

[@spedhead218]

@@zeekeleton You underestimate how attraction works.

[@shyamalidasgupta671]

Compatibility, synchronisation, mutual respect , compassion / empathy , desire for co operation / working as a team , sharing & valuing & cherishing couple time is vital

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Morals, values, ethicks, humanity, all truths, all normal natural, both loving fully each other soul Heart body mind mentality both protector nurturers both trustworthy reliable Both r basic main normal requirements fr love/marrg based fulfilled stable normal human beings. Must.

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Both frst love frst marrg frst touch sx attachment frst true lover young virgin innocent both, daily love sx attachment full of life all truths all normal naturally all Trust faith blindly all goodness innocence all normal naturally no faking acting lies no dhoka no using no dirty no impurities

[@realSimoneCherie]

Different morals and values are not the kind of opposites you should be entertaining / healthy differences are like extroversion and introversion

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

True

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Morals, values, ethicks, humanity, all truths, all normal natural, both loving fully each other soul Heart body mind mentality both protector nurturers both trustworthy reliable Both r basic main normal requirements fr love/marrg based fulfilled stable normal human beings. Must.

[@cosmeticsandpurseswithevelyn]

Been there done that 15 + years of it. The answer in reality really is misarable, even if we adjust to it lets face it!

[@hesitantpossum]

I had this become a problem recently, and it ended a new relationship. Cruelty to strangers, as a kind of openly flaunted moral code, is rarely a surface trait. Moreso a deeply held stance, for whatever reason. Leave quickly. Complimentary differences can be wonderful though. Thank you for this incredibly useful content 🙏🏻

[@valeriejanssen7132]

Very true. Many times I looked around and said these people are not my people when I was living with my ex. They are all drug addicts and criminals with no morals and I'm the opposite. I had to leave. So glad I did.

[@Zathren]

Good for you. Understand that half the shit people say about relationships are nonsense.

[@mariaakopyan-dignifieddivo5694]

That's good that you stood by your values and advocated for yourself.

[@valeriejanssen7132]

@@mariaakopyan-dignifieddivo5694 I'm still learning. I gave him the benefit of the doubt last week in court just talking but he's already lied again so yep. Done for good.

[@mariaakopyan-dignifieddivo5694]

@@valeriejanssen7132 Sending you strength!

[@RickRockerMusic]

That “Rule book\Monopoly” example was on the money! 💯💯

[@MsWing-ij9nb]

Well stated, Matthew! Love your clear analogies using “ are we on the same set of game rules” explanation. So true! It’s important I think to assess anyone new we meet in whatever social context in this way versus superficial qualities such as shared interests, locale, heritage, etc. it’s more about the character and integrity of someone and whether the way the go about living their values meshes with mine :) and not only that but as you said do we want to mutually support each other, be a team player and genuinely listen/ wish for what’s best for each other. Do we mutually inspire holistic growth?

[@Newsbirdie]

Oppsites attract but that for the most part is different energy levels or one is more soft than the other and things like that but I wouldnt say that a alcoholic and a complete sober person is a great match.

[@sadiaali9198]

Opposites attract, but like minded last.

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

Like soul.Heart body mentality humanity feelings emotions BASIC main nornal requirements fr wht love/marrg happen,, all.truths, etc must n then incompatible to less ppl also lasts frevr together. Else same clone ppl also disastrous destructive

[@jonjones3449]

From a spiritual point of view where at least one is awakened ... then this is a relationship which brings growth to the soul ..... opposites in astrology is the most powerful

[@KoolT]

Good moral code very important. Respect, dignity, civility

[@chrisherber1635]

I think the value of always putting your partner’s needs into consideration and even putting them first in some cases, that’s the bare minimum for a healthy relationship. If that’s not there, it’ll fall apart at some point. It leads back to a spirit of selfishness where a relationship is meant to open one up to selflessness.

[@livenfree]

So well said so well said! And personality styles being totally opposite can be very difficult as well. I assume to be ex-wife was extremely driven. Type A personality and I'm more laid-back. It's about the journey than the destination. Was a constant frustration.

[@thriveplus9564]

Could you please help me by quickly writing what you think your major attachment style is? E.g. you could write 'secure', or you could write 'mostly secure with a bit of anxious sometimes' The main types of attachment style are: - Secure (means you are comfortable with intimacy, and tend to be more satisfied in their relationships.) - Anxious ( you tend to worry about being too much or too little for the person you are dating, and take a lot of things personally. You tend to not really live in the moment, but instead place a lot of high hopes on your partner, and get more attached to their potential.) - Avoidant (Avoidant dismissive or Avoidant fearful) (Dismissive avoidant people have the tendency to emotionally distance themselves from their partner and thus come off as overly focused on themselves. Fearful avoidant people are afraid of being too close or too distant from their partners, which means they can struggle to keep their emotions in check, get overwhelmed easily, and can have intense mood swings.) - Disorganised (I.e. has elements of both anxious and avoidant styles). Thanks for your help, just really interested to know the mix of people who watch this video. 😊

[@startboardgames4662]

Anxious

[@psmylife6832]

Yep. I think I'm mostly secure, but sometimes I do feel anxious

[@dhrutivyas-e3j]

Anxious but I always evolve to better myself … still there’s so much creativity in the world that attachment is always anxious style due to weird or no reciprocation

[@victoriacox3168]

Anxious attachment as of now. Working to be secure 🙂

[@marjorie3846]

I guess, I'm disorganized. A little bit of an anxious and fearful avoidant.

[@musedhere5561]

I'm here for British accent İt's wonderful

[@Olivia-bs5wj]

Well people changes through life. You might not be the same person today as you will be in a year. As long as you want to be with them that’s what matters. Also you need to learn and see things from new perspectives

[@KoolT]

My relative married a southern man right after college and her family was from upstate NY and Jersey. He converted to her faith, but it still didn't work.

[@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

Thanks Matthew this is really on point when it comes to the respect stuff.....I tried to change my perspective on things that bothered me and I was changing myself and I didn't like that.

[@Billionaires_Muslimmotivation]

Values, Vision , Purpose

[@abantika_basak]

Hey Mathew, I have a fast fading relationship according to your quiz. I had a breakup last week Saturday after that I started begging him to come back but after watching your videos from yesterday I started the no contact rule but what if he doesn't comes back or what should I really do? I am just so stuck and I know I made mistakes like ignoring his efforts so I really want to start a fresh start with him again.

[@WooBunny]

I only have what you wrote to go off of. But it sounds like you need to “win” the relationship. Especially if you recognize that he left because his “efforts” weren’t recognized. Just work on yourself and remember most guys just want a girl that’s the three Fs. Fit, feminine and friendly. Hope you land a better one in the future.

[@mystic787tarot]

Thank you! Always so helpful!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@bethechange9762]

Surely it’s a matter of degree of difference in values? If I’m reasonably tidy I could be with someone a little tidier or a little less tidier- but a very tidy person and a very untidy person would drive each other nuts over time, if you live together and intend to do so for a long time

[@AnnMoses]

Thank you Matthew thank you for all you do for all love from Nigeria

[@daretta-gx4fb]

Thank you for sharing!

[@alexong2542]

just out of curiosity, why is he only teaching women, and not teaching men?

[@carlawilliams5-26-27]

Opposite attract, me n my dude are totally opposite but were both GEMINI'S, my birthday may 26th his may 27th, we don't share the same education background, we don't have the same up bringing but we love each other FOREVER we're soulmates....u can't help who u fall in love with....

[@mrflame2497]

Well personally I'm a born again Christian. I was interested in a woman and I believe she was just as interested in me. It was really fun until I figured out she was a satanist. We only talked for a little bit but I just wanted to share this because of how unusual it was.

[@rainfog1]

very good. it does not necessarily mean that because they desire you you will have the same sense of right and wrong. truly love or even desire is not enough.

[@atuanyaalpheusparodychanne641]

I believe the attract me and ex gf lasted two years before that the other girl I dated lasted two months.

[@joannadziokan3267]

Also, with different belief systems two people would want to 'train' kids in a different way and, at this point, a single parent might be a better option so the kids don't grow up confused and damaged. Every child should have a mother and a father at home but in some cases it is a disaster.

[@travelnomad2128]

Miserable! Believe me I'm living it! Maybe there's attraction in the beginning but for the long run, it's the wrong basis for a long relationship or marriage. You won't be happy, when you each have different interests or likes. I like the outdoors, he doesn't, I like the beach, he doesn't, he doesn't even like the sun. Don't settle, don't get stuck, be smart in choosing!

[@bucketbucket4027]

I super loveee sending handwritten letters, but I have been pretty busy and have been traveling a lot lately. Good thing I came across an app where you send a text and they turn it into a pretty letter…. Let me know if you want to know what app I used :)

[@watermeloon1146]

Having this problem. Hes super romantic and i really dont like romance

[@thedivineunion]

Vallues is the only thing that can not be opposites

[@roiselv2821]

Matthew I have a question for you. my bf watch porns sometimes when we’re not together. I’m not sure how I should feel about that

[@Amy-js8xw]

Can anyone please tell me how to participate in the show through a phone call ????

[@angyt1070]

So good

[@christinaoneill1711]

You can learn from each other etc

[@jadegreen1554]

How do you find out if someone has a similar set of values to you if they claim to be “monogamous” for eg, or believe in “truthfulness”, but it is just a claim. Very possible they could have been lying, but you never thought to check, because you believed he would never because he said so. It is hard to actually pick up lying if someone is good and if you don’t even think to think about it because they claimed it was a value of theirs so you just trust.

[@glorianguyen1102]

look at their actions

[@aprilandpedro9823]

Spend time and get to know each other well for a significant amount of time before you commit really heavily. See if their actions match their words. Only time can tell. If not don't waste energy getting super mad about it. People are what they are. Either you match or you don't.

[@Bastet32]

Genius

[@ssimarsimar2395]

#fullvideo on this topic too

[@vanessakilvin285]

Yes.. agree

[@Thegoodnewsgirl]

AMMEEENNNN. ~Isaiah 43:18 ⏱

[@mevludeabdullahi7138]

Bytiful said

[@rahulchalig28]

Can you please add subtitles(english) in your videos The auto generated subtitles by youtube is not 100% accurate

[@chr1staki]

Like attracts like

[@Mihi_Dana-z2x]

No, all truths all normal natural all values ethically humanity all love/marrg requirements fulfilling based love lover bf gf husband wife marrg happen, else frst stage its nver when all clear.

[@catsmith7084]

Miserable ! Lol

[@gunnarjinx]

Always liked Hussey's videos about relationships.... BUT when talking in circles saying that people "can work" if this and that even though this and that to change this and that but not if they don't work on this and that about this and that .... then u lost me completely telling me people are people and either they make it work or not no matter their differences or flaws.... really didn't need and "expert" to tell me that :P :P :P .... even worse when that "expert" is hiding his private life as hard as he is .... wonder why?! .... however ... good luck everyone finding that special someone ... ;)))) ....blehhh

[@amine1bi]

👌👌

[@Shelly-mj4yp]

Yes-it works...been together 24 years..awsome adventure learning from eachother side..never boring

[@Olivia-bs5wj]

Feels the same! My ex was really different from me and that made me see things from another point of view and he inspired me in many ways. You don’t have to be twins to work, that could be really hard and boring

[@SCUBONZIES]

SLOP OPPOSITES ATTACK

[@the.IastIaugh]

Miserable. I tried this. Whether pop psychology or not. My sign was NOT compatible with her sign and I still gave it a "go". It was tumultuous, I regret it. Opposites may attract but not compatible.

[@Shelly-mj4yp]

Hello Matt-how r u?