How to Respond to “Bare Minimum” Texting

[@roblovegreen]

It’s simple, never chase anyone. Go where you are celebrated not where you were tolerated.

[@alaalfa8839]

Its like:" No I am not really going tro buy car...I am just ernjoying the view." Some tv shows seem like that.

[@alaalfa8839]

I like as Drew Barrymore said " I even broke up with my fantom boyfriend" Imaginary boyfriend. She was laughing.

[@MikeyPaper]

what a crappy generic useless statement!

[@user-ov4wr5yu4r]

​@@MikeyPaperObviously not. Plenty of people need to hear it.

[@muffemod]

Well yes, but no. Set up dates and have a relationship. Don't have a text-lationship.

[@kninekate]

Dating was so much easier before mobile phones. 😂🤣😂 The guy had to call me on the home phone, get past my mum, which would pretty much be enough to ensure the good guys would ask me out on real dates, and the time wasters would never be heard from again!

[@Evangelia2024]

Those were the good days, now the guys act as they are the one to be pursued! They are the catch

[@tiagobarbosa509]

​@@Evangelia2024wth?? Why do you think only guys act like that??

[@tiagobarbosa509]

Women don't know how to text either

[@faithnightingale1019]

I feel that although Mobile phone,s Internet Social Media can be beneficial,Not in all case,? It has also destroyed real life Marriage,s,Friendship,s etc Alot of people are married to a screen and not real life .If a balance can be maitained between real life and Mobile phone,s Relation,ship,s Marriage,s can be saved.Sad to say alot of marriage,s have broken down and it,s children who have bn caught up in the middle and suffered and this os very sad.

[@GadgetsGearCoffee]

Accountability is what's missing.

[@khong_xiong]

We all reach a point in our healing journey where we stop trying to convince other people to do the right thing. We just observe their choice, understand their character, and decide what we’re doing to allow in our lives. May you choose Peace over inconsiderate/ immature love any day.

[@Mike-sj9si]

Agreed. Honestly no matter what I tried - and I tried a LOT of things, the inconsiderate/immature people did not changed. Maybe their behavior changed in some way just to make me happy, but their underlying character did not. And that's not even me hating on them. They can live their life however they want. But I'm gonna live mine how I want ❤

[@stephanieortiz9570]

100%

[@meghan3835]

💯

[@bettyboothe2523]

I deal with this roller coaster with my half sister. We all have boundaries and triggers. Mine triggers are big with her being in / out of my life. I need PEACE in my life. She's says everything is not about me . . . .on the flip side of that coin. . . Everything is not about her either. I'm not the enemy but I'm treated as I am since day 1.

[@lanav7442]

💯 ❤

[@blackmoonbellydance7481]

If my late 30s self had the chance to pass only one pearl of wisdom to younger generations, it would be to accept who he is. Don't flog the dead horse and stress out trying strategies to make him step up. If he's not trying it's because he's involved with multiple women, only looking for booty call, or has a wife and kids. Accept reality, block, move on. Give yourself peace

[@sasseyrumdrinka]

Exactly!!! ❤❤❤

[@TileBitan]

every guy knows the player bangs 80% of the female population. It somehow takes women decades to learn the difference between dating and getting swept under the rug

[@Leipuanani]

Great advice! No need to put any more thought and effort beyond this.

[@Incantationem]

Or, it's because she's not trying either - just expecting others to do all the work, being non-reciprocal.

[@prathyusha5393]

I agree .. Here Mathew gave a strategy.. but, obviously against a guy who clearly DOESN’T call .. I strongly believe that with the well drafted message Mathew gave, it will still be the same thing from the other end .. just the girl will be able into handle it better/ feel better about herself.. but, rest is not going to change a 💯

[@helenstaniskov4570]

It’s not only dating, it’s just humanity right now!

[@Czechbound]

Exactly. I get this from friends, but I kinda enforce a no text rule. Most know that if they want to get a response from me, they have to call. Otherwise they can text till the cows come home, but I won't be replying. I set that expectation right from the get go

[@helenstaniskov4570]

@@Czechbound great idea 👍

[@ckl5801]

It is I can’t tell you how many so called friends don’t respond to my messages…I’m ready to quit trying and enjoy my own company and of course my dog…ewwww people 😢

[@Czechbound]

@@ckl5801 We all have lazy brains and change can be hard when we have ingrained habits. So it's not that people are bad people. They just have texting habits that I don't put up with. Eventually they either think "ok, he responds to calls, so I'll do that with him" or maybe they think "that's pretty rude". But I've never had someone actually text me that I'm being rude in not replying. They just eventually give up texting. And that suits me fine.

[@helenstaniskov4570]

@@ckl5801 yep, agreed! But they manage to find my number when they want something!

[@cammerations]

"I don't know if I'm going crazy" - absolutely not. Do not say this. Men are so quick to call us crazy. Don't also call yourself this. It undermines the authenticity of your message. You know you're not crazy. You know he doesn't respect you. He knows you know. Stop pretending - all it does is undermine your overall message and sends the message that you don't believe in yourself. (but I loved everything else in the video and Matthew's perspective is so helpful)

[@twastudio801]

Idk, but if I'm talking to a woman who says "am I crazy" In any context, it doesn't undermine anything or turn me off. Instead, it shows a level of self-awareness and maturity that sets her apart from other women. Just food for thought.

[@FrVitoBe]

yea feels like wall of text sudden explosion. tho true about the guy is reply tho

[@Gainoffuntion]

You're crazy.

[@TheSparga]

I came here to say exactly this, although you’ve put it better than I could have.

[@miabittleston8662]

@@twastudio801you only think it’s authentic because you have been brainwashed into thinking women are crazy. It isn’t actually authentic at all! She’s not crazy, her reaction is entirely understandable so it seems bizarre that she would suggest it. That is a conditioned male view of women that needs to stop!

[@wendysimpson6395]

Breadcrumbing is seductive to codependants/ trauma sufferers.

[@ckl5801]

Nailed it!!🎉

[@SergioFernandez-cj4mt]

Comment of the week !!!

[@Helios-Zia]

🐦

[@Anne_W64]

I think that guy is or will be texting and talking just fine with the one whom he really wants to invest his energy. She needs to look elsewhere.

[@ABurningCandle]

My strategy is i try to match their effort. At the beginning i will be all in, sending thoughtful texts, asking them about their day etc. if they don’t reciprocate, i stop asking questions and merely react to their responses. My reaction to their responses would get less detailed as time drags on and they refuse change until i would just be sending thumbs up emoji. If they stop responding, fantastic. I gave it a shot

[@dona627]

I agree

[@laberbla6466]

Same - I kind of mirror the behaviour. But I agree with Matthew that the effort needs to be there for a good amount of time. It is pretty hard to tell. Some people are also just bad at texting and good in real conversations. So it depends what is possible and what values more for yourself.

[@coneighscauldron]

The moment they stop reciprocating is literally the moment they are blocked. Next

[@annt7384]

I get your point, but why adjust who you are? If he can’t be bothered to match your energy, you leave him alone.

[@laberbla6466]

@@annt7384 You must be a pretty secure person. :) I try to respond to this question. Even though I totally get your point, just a part of me still keeps wondering: It can work without adjusting who I am? I think not so secure people need those strategies (boundaries) to not lose ourselves in the process - which still happens for me quite easy

[@aurli6543]

What bothers me in this video is that you are still advising to maintain this text conversation. The guy doesn't seem interested at all, so what's the point in trying to have a relationship with someone who is that little interested in her? Even if they go on, the relationship still won't be balanced, and he will not really commit... Seems to me that she should have more respect for herself (because keeping this "connection" alive is definitely not having respect for herself), and look for someone who is showing her respect as well.

[@rhythmisadancer8394]

He said the reason in the 'modelling the behaviour we want to see' section. There could be many reasons as to why they may be this way, but might be afraid to be upfront. By showing them how you want to be treated, they will do either 2 things. Show you the same, or leave. Pretty simple really.

[@DeisyGonzalez-c7w]

Agreed. 100%

[@Between_thelines_____270]

PREACH

[@brennam954]

Yeah, this guy deserves ghosting

[@hoaxygen]

@@rhythmisadancer8394 Same thing I thought. It's only entertaining the possibility of the dude giving a crap about any of it, if not, good riddance.

[@bkgdnoize111]

Cell phones have killed communication... ironic isn't it!!!!

[@sayoraruzibaeva1725]

Sooo true 😞😞😞😞😞😏😏😏

[@sherylsalazar4822]

💯

[@fritahnoor1434]

To be direct and honest with your needs is the best way

[@mcjunieb]

That is much easier said than done. Many of us don't understand what we need. And even if we do, are not able to open uo and directly express that need. Doing so could expose one's greatest vulnerabilities. That could be dangerous. It's really not so simple as being direct and honest

[@fritahnoor1434]

@@mcjunieb so true, instead of facing it directly you find yourself going in circles without actually doing anything

[@tibbysj4846]

I voiced my needs. Ended up ruining the relationship, because it resulted in lesser interaction between us, we saw each other less and now I'm always wondering if i should just breakup with him. (We've been dating for over a year and half)

[@fritahnoor1434]

@@tibbysj4846 maybe letting it go is your answer, sometimes you find yourself holding into something is not yours.

[@JohnnyAllan-vj7sj]

It's not all about you. That's the real problem with dating. No one is willing to sacrifice their own needs. There is no relationship without sacrifice from both sides

[@emgee691]

Big truth. Texting, on its own, is NOT A RELATIONSHIP! At best, all it is is is a CONNECTION. NOT A RELATIONSHIP. NO SUBSTANCE. NO REAL INVESTMENT. So, why spend any more time or effort or confusion or dilemma , with merely TEXTING? It's nothing more than words and images, maybe. No real skin in the game. Plus, if you have to work THAT hard for someone's " interest", working THAT hard is telling you DON'T BOTHER.

[@user-ln4qe1sh8i]

🎯 unfortunately, I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I had the sense to cut it off, though, as I didn't like it. LD connection, but so many red flags 🚩

[@MagdaM771]

I know it may be difficult to understand but sometimes texting can be more profound than speaking with someone… dometimes its easier to open up in this way… and it can become so addictive that when it ends you feel such a big emptiness, its been 4 yrs mow and I still long for this connection, so strange

[@vanessaG275]

@@MagdaM771 Yes you are so right. Mine began 5 years ago, just as friends. No sexual texting. If I never heard from him it never once bothered me, then one night he said "I think of you as more than a friend, I think I fell in love with you." It began to grow. Then began the sexing. Then began the games of punishment. Never met him. When he arranged to meet me he never pitched. I called him evil and he blocked me. I thought I was going crazy. He still punishes me when I send a message by not opening to read the message the same day. We had a fight yesterday. I have to walk away and block him. It's going to kill me. It's that connection that keeps me coming back. I need to break it. I am a strong intelligent woman. Why has he this hold over me? I call it evil.

[@josieclowes2208]

Yes, words are only 7% communication, the rest body language and tone of voice There not always an emogi, less i start doing a portfolio of selfies 😅

[@debra13]

I hate the lol after "I don't find the text messages rewarding." She doesn't have to make it funny- it's not. It weakens it.

[@Nikkiijean]

Good video but- Never say you’re going ‘crazy’ - so many narcissists will use that statement against you later and start gaslighting you- you know how you feel so just be direct without fawning

[@AnabreseNeuman]

Yes, that was a big red flag imo - not very good advice from him there

[@josieclowes2208]

Yes someone said this further up

[@emmacarry6326]

I don't think lots of texting in early dating is productive, it builds false intimacy. Life is busy so I prefer texts that arrange dates, or maybe something that links back to a conversation we had in person. I have no time for Hi, good morning, what are you doing? Have a proper chat, book a date or leave me alone. I am not going to give you attention because you're bored.

[@tarkov_6]

Sounds just like the dismissive avoidant I knew....

[@inevski]

Agreed. Spend time. Or don't spend time, together. Mobiles for monitoring ... it never shouldve been, and times-up.

[@SorinaLehaci]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🎩🎩🎩🎩🎩🎩🎩🎩🎩🎩🎩

[@ckl5801]

@@emmacarry6326 yes let’s bring back real time face time!

[@tungstenanderson5991]

Ad nauseam texts of "Good morning" are just that. Especially when you're trying to get ready in the morning and this goes with friends as well. Would you ring someone up just to say that? I can appreciate it once in a while, but it becomes obsessive after a while just saying it back as it has no meaning over text.

[@annt7384]

Chances are, he’s probably sending the same good morning messages to several women. I want him to know who I am (name) followed by some context so I know he’s connecting with me versus just chatting up a female in his contacts he can only vaguely recall.

[@ckl5801]

Ya…he probably cuts and pastes his generic messages to whordes of women to save his thumbs 😂😢😮

[@Lexi_Con]

🎯💯 Yep, players. It's just a numbers game to them. They don't change much into adulthood or even middle age, trust me.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

"Say my name, say my name If no one is around you Say baby I love you If you ain't runnin' game Say my name, say my name You actin' kinda shady In callin' me baby Why the sudden change" "Say My Name" - Destiny's Child

[@vladonutueu]

@@Lexi_Con then how about you stop chasing players and get to the real men?

[@ThePosetowns]

Or not, That's your insecurities.

[@EwkaKonewka-r7o]

Kylie Morgan and her song "If he wanted to he would" - that's the answer.

[@Mia-tn5th]

I just say I’m not interested in texting back and forth. It’s tiring and time consuming. We can talk over the phone or in person when it’s a good time.

[@2ndChanceAtLife]

I HATE texting It's not real communication.

[@averyintelligence]

Good morning Good morning Wuup2? Texting you. Oh nice Yea texts suck 😂

[@geegeecook5063]

Same here..better they call

[@ParagraphGurr]

Its mind blowing yet enduring that we still believe we are the damsel in a fairy tale in which when they’re not returning texts that its not because they’re not interested, but because they had a series of unfortunate events keeping them from me. I feel good that this video validates what I have done correctly, although it has yielded finding my soulmate BUT what I got was even better, not wasting my time with they very little of it I have in this precious life of mine. I struggle with being direct and “over explaining” because they’ll leverage my need to be transparent as a way to keep me on the bait and when you deal with guys that play those games, you unfortunately don’t find out until it’s too late. I wish you guys the best of luck and hope that everyone finds joy when they’re alone so that we are not dependent on someone else to manufacture it for us! 💋

[@josieclowes2208]

So well said I suffer from 'the benefit of the doubt' Perhaps this, perhaps that, 🤔 Perhaps nothing ! Ive found the cure to be when he says "Ive been busy" though its took a few doses 😂

[@ParagraphGurr]

@@josieclowes2208 I’m at the phase of, “what I stopped allowing for one guy, I’ll allow it all over for this new guy” UGH YUCK with a lil bit of BLAH

[@ParagraphGurr]

@@josieclowes2208 it’d be easy if jerks were the only ones to look out for but then we get the love bombers that give is everything we want until they get their fill and ghost us. At this point, forget the nice guy, husband material, jerks, I want a hot guy for the night as arm candy and we can exchange names as he’s leaving

[@jrwheeler81]

This makes me SO grateful for my boyfriend of the past year and a half, who is ROCK SOLID in his texting and calling when we're not physically together!

[@maurawhelan3530]

Not okay with sending him Am I crazy? No way.men think we are nuts as it is..fail!

[@Caroline-qy6tl]

🙄

[@Vavavoum-gr8]

Someone told me he is the texting type He doesn’t call cos he’s extremely busy Ok dude smh These bare minimum people are engaging multiple women

[@chiaraA.]

or they're just interested in how little they can put in for some sex because that's all they're wanting - who needs this b.s. - - while I like sex just fine I''m not doing that activity with sub-par people - they don't deserve that level from me - oh no

[@nursekillm]

THIS. No man who is truly interested will risk losing you to another man by giving bare minimum. Ignore the breadcrumbers so a truly good man can find you, ladies!

[@crazymonkey60123]

Facts you got to mess with other women just how they mess with multiple men

[@yiliu3215]

I would end at “have a good evening”, and write him off. Not worthing spending and of my time and energy on this guy if he can’t even give me a call.

[@krishna335]

You don't respond. You simply block & protect ur peace.

[@als8401]

A pessimistic view is that Matthew is trying to get women to buy more expensive content and if they just block 99% of men there's no opportunity to sell to them. On the other hand lots of women are going to keep trying with these flakes anyway so idk

[@alexandraneag1229]

@@als8401if they blocked 99% of men they would also likely be single forever, I think Matt is trying to help those who don't want that outcome 😅

[@carlf.9035]

But I think the idea here is to practice expressing what works for you and what your expectations are or we just pretend nothing is wrong and their behavior continues.

[@VeraEcht-pj3pj]

I spent almost five years with advice from the internet telling me I could do something to change that the person didn’t really love me. Let me save you a lot of time and pain: YOU CAN‘T!

[@alexandraneag1229]

@@VeraEcht-pj3pj matt's advice in this video, and generally speaking, is focused on 'winning' the early stages of the dating game where the way you play each move matters significantly. If you're already in a relationship and you feel that way, definitely trust your intuition you can't get them to fall in love with you if they've already gone through all the relationship stages and still nothing changes. But in the first weeks of dating a lot can change. You're just showing them who you are and your level of self-respect and boundaries which can make a guy be all over you or treat you like garbage (if you don't have that). Your experience and what Matt is talking about are two completely different things xx

[@Zodiacconnections]

This video really hit home for me. It’s so frustrating when someone puts in the bare minimum effort in texting, yet we still feel compelled to keep engaging with them. The breakdown of the text exchange was spot on and really highlighted how we often fall into the trap of protecting ourselves by being aloof, which only perpetuates the cycle. I appreciate the practical advice on how to demand more effort and communicate our needs clearly. It’s a great reminder that we deserve better and shouldn’t settle for the minimum possible investment. Thanks Matthew for sharing this insightful content!

[@yasminea7149]

It doesn't matter how you demand what you want or need. The minimal investment guy just doesn't care enough about you so even if you verbalize what you want, he won't do it. Find a guy who is actually invested and wants you long-term and not someone that sends the same good morning msg to multiple women.

[@grazianamontedoro5246]

Hi Matt,I have been looking at your content since you started, and I found finally a little defect on you ;)Using the word crazy gives the chance to be called crazy at some point,deprecating self talk is not what i would go for!Apart from that you are my hero Love ,Grazianaxx

[@TokyoBlue587]

Yeah I didn’t like that either

[@averyintelligence]

Crazy

[@meghan3835]

Earlier I used to get very anxious when someone doesn't respond adequately to my text messages. I would wait for a reply like there is no tomorrow. That was 2 years ago. Now someone is not available enough, not texting thoughtfully i just say goodbye and block them if their response is not satisfactory. The thing is everyone has their phone on them at all times. Anyone not texting you or sending dry texts is just not interested enough

[@hushpuppies872]

Please have the courage to move on. You don't need to convince anyone or change anything about yourself to get more effort. It hurts to let go but it also hurts to stay. Atleast letting go will heal you. This will drive you nuts!! Please everyone deserves more than such arrogant behavior.

[@marioVSN]

Sadly, having these basic standards for conversations leaves me with little option, because 90% of the people on dating apps put little to no effort, and I have to carry the conversation on my back... sad times...

[@Czechbound]

With respect, more fool you. I don't put with up with text only nonsense. They have a couple of chances to talk. If they don't bite, no sweat. There are lots of fish in the ocean. Just block, delete the conversation, and move on. Simple.

[@CarmenZepeda-yu5no]

In the moment that you feel you"re talking with a wall...Drop it. Need to be a balanced effort both directions. 🔄

[@ckl5801]

I feel empowered by the mantra “I don’t care” 🎉

[@Czechbound]

@@CarmenZepeda-yu5no Exactly. Same with friendships too

[@biasedknowledge]

Brilliant insights! The dynamic you describe here really speaks to the reciprocity principle and how it can be used against us when someone gives just enough to keep us hooked. One of my clients kept responding to these minimal texts because they felt compelled to "return the favor" even though the effort was imbalanced. They weren’t even aware of how this cognitive bias was keeping them engaged with someone who wasn't meeting their needs. Once we recognized it, they were able to stop reciprocating the bare minimum and demand more. Your strategies for avoiding this pitfall are so on point-thank you for such an eloquent breakdown!

[@laurakisdaroczi7623]

I just tried Matthew AI and it's amazing. It gets tuned so well with your situation and your issue, it feels very personal and intimate. Good job!

[@Boertje247]

A man asked for my phone number, then proceeded to send cryptic texts, 3-4 word texts, etc. I’m old school, and asked when he wanted to meet. We met for coffee, and the WHOLE TIME, he had his phone beside him, and monitoring messages. Meh, I don’t have time for someone who’s looking for something better. Next!😜

[@CarpeDiem2805]

I just think that if someone behaves in an inappropriate or inadequate way, they are just not interested and it those short texts, lack of communication and not wanting to meet up demonstrates a total lack of interest. The other scenario is that they are narcissistic and go from one person to the other getting information and attention!

[@tiffanykimble9465]

Yes, CarpeDiem, he doesn't like her, he's not into her and she needs to let him go. It's not like they really know each. Be okay with walking away.

[@tiffanykimble9465]

@thematthewhusseyt1 Thank You, Matthew, for showing this video, us Ladies really needed to see it. I just want us to stop and think a moment and say to ourselves... Is this person acting in a kind way. Is this person being a decent human being? If not moving forward, give energy to the man who is being kind.

[@theawilliams2847]

Another scenario is that the person has neurodivergency and they are offering their best efforts at communication

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

​@@theawilliams2847But it probably isn't. A neuro divergent might actually prefer texting. It's the phone calls they'd find difficult.

[@theawilliams2847]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 explaining neurodivergency to a neurodivergent is not terribly classy

[@flagirl0315]

These people aren’t even worth your energy. I’d stop responding. Never gets better

[@tonik2919]

Who needs a man? Not me! Single all the way. No drama... no rollercoaster rides with online dating!! Ps thank you MH. Luv your old MPI skits... they were the best!!!

[@e30kolbenkiller]

Lol, buy yourself a nice cat😅

[@tonik2919]

@@e30kolbenkiller if I wanted your 5c I would have asked for it!

[@ScottKiloby]

Thank you for this video. I am a former Avoidant who is now secure after doing emotional repression work on Buried Anger. Many Avoid’s have buried anger and therefore avoid intimate conversations Out of the fear of conflict. I’ve been a teacher of Awakening for 16 years. Now I help people into secure attachment or liberated way of being where they can feel And Express What is true and have authentic and meaningful connections.

[@sleepylilbecca]

I like this type of advise, it focuses on what both parties could be doing to give clear and intentional communication instead of just the one person.

[@Avalonkenton]

People like this are not worth your time

[@Czechbound]

Great, practical, useable advice - well done. I get this with my friends too. I'm not your text buddy for when you are bored. I don't get sucked into meme sharing as it's the road to mainly text friendships. If I phone you and you don't take it, but immediately reply with "What's up ?" I ignore that message. And any follow up message until you call me. I'll then explain that if I call it's because I prefer to talk. Most people get with that. Those that don't - that's cool too. But I won't reply to your text messages. Call me : it's easier, quicker, and there's less change of misundertanding. Simple !

[@cytavares]

I hate talking

[@Czechbound]

@@cytavares You must be great fun on a date .....

[@Fight-4-your-food]

Thats awesome

[@marshahinson6930]

Not currently dating, but this advice and format is very helpful!

[@michelleavillia1133]

So many things in this video that as a woman i have normalized in my way of communicating, that never got me the results I needed... and I see it now. Thanks Mathew... quite eye opening.

[@margitorban4367]

My goodness, that AI thing is amazing!!!😂 I've already had a whole conversation with you, Matthew, it felt so much like talking to an actual person, I even feel less lonely! That was a brilliant idea!❤ Now I have someone to talk to when in doubt about something 😂 Love it!❤

[@stardust_2339]

Nem gondoltam volna hogy itthon is ennyire epidemic a dolog 😅

[@caydence808]

When you get texts like this… He’s 💯 juggling a bunch of women.. I know because I dated a guy who did the same thing.. he turned out to be the biggest player..

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

That was my first thought. And men say they can't multi-task......

[@yasminea7149]

Yes, exactly

[@Nykoooo1]

For all the women, you included, who were dating him, there were 5 guys for each of you who would probably have treated you right. But you didn't find any of them attractive enough.

[@Ms.K_LaTrailera]

Be careful with these guys that claim to be 'so- called players' cause 100% of the time, they are on the DL and prefer their men, not that there's anything wrong with that. Stay safe out there, people.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@Nykoooo1 "PROBABLY have treated you right". Unattractive men can and do treat women very badly and good looking men can make great partners. It's down to your character. In fact ugly men can be even worse. Every time I read a comment or article where a woman "gives a man a chance" ie one she's not attracted to, it ALWAYS ends badly. The man picks up on the "pity" dating and starts to act like a tool.

[@Tobstar76]

I’m happy to announce that this behaviour doesn’t get better with age. The 40 year old men are just as bad! LOL. Anyway, modelling, yes definitely a mature approach. And when he doesn’t rise to meet you there, delete/remove and move on. Just like I do now it’s refreshing and makes my life better. 😊

[@_Coffee4Closers]

Actually, she should just block this fool and move on. He obviously does not give a 💩 about having any real relationship. He is playing games and she should ghost him and find someone better.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Yes, Matthew wants women to do the mostest. They're a waste of energy.

[@Mike-sj9si]

I kinda think a lot of men just don't really know how to text or how to hold a conversation. I have known a decent number of men who truly seemed very interested in a girl and yet they were still doing this. It kind of makes sense because as men a lot of us don't actually talk to each other that much. This isn't to say you should discount the possibility that he's just not that into you. I'm only offering a different perspective. It makes sense that women would be frustrated by this. I think women deserve someone who can at LEAST hold a conversation. And honestly it's kind of embarrassing if you're an adult and you need someone to hold your hand and teach you how to have a basic human interaction the way Matthew is kind of teaching girls to hold the hands of guys (no offense to Matthew - I like him! It's just as a guy I would feel embarrassed if a girl had to do this with me)

[@PinPinKula]

nah, mate, you and your friends just slow brained.. man who have their shit together just tell weman they are not that interesting to ask or listen to and thats mostly the reason why they are not engaiging.

[@CeciledeLuire]

i've become much more direct with the guys and glad with the results so far 😄

[@dip_emb_mexuk]

I couldn’t agree more. However, I also think that it also depends on the other person if s/he is willing to do the work with you, which is putting more effort it. It takes two to tango. Some men who are emotionally immature would probably think I have got high demands, being awkward, etc when I simply tell them my basic standards and ask them to meet me half way. Those men are not worth my time and energy really.

[@CeciledeLuire]

@@dip_emb_mexuk thank you for the reply : ) i honestly think men are aware of what they are doing and when they are bs-ing us. it would take an extremely dumb man to not get it if he has been little active or unreliable. they do know. but it's fun to play dumb because you can get YOUR way and have some power and control, right...? 😀 must say though that the woman in the vid was very short, dry and also kind of commanding which would turn me off for sure. so yes, the way you say sth does matter.

[@danielabenhanoch2795]

Sounds like she is commanding him to call her. Twice. Very short commands. Like army style. That's not fun for him either. She could have written: I would love to talk on the phone when you have time.

[@paulinesimamane9968]

My response to the guy who disappears would've been "please don't contact me again, you don't get to ghost me and come back in my life like nothing happened, I find that disrespectful" then immediately block him I am not about that life.

[@cookWithYuyu2024]

You're so polite! I would simply text "f**k off" lol xD

[@purplebutterfly314]

​@@cookWithYuyu2024Cussing them out gives them the satisfaction of knowing they got under your skin, being cold and polite is a lot better, it reduces them to their insignificance

[@Brenda-ny1gw]

You're too harsh. Keep messaging, if they never reply, just move on

[@CarmenZepeda-yu5no]

​@@cookWithYuyu2024haha....well more direct message. 😅

[@nicoletacherechesu1576]

Very good atitude

[@natwel1544]

Hard to love life when people flake

[@AlysaRushtonEnergy]

I love this text except for the self deprecating parts. I feel like you can be strong and hold boundaries without telling a person that you might be crazy: why not just say hi I want to share something with you… then set the boundaries 🙏🏽

[@aprilflowerrrss]

You're constantly uploading videos, it's so wonderful! I always hit the Like button before watching 😅 already know it's gonna be good...

[@buttermuffin1196]

I have done this before where I try to illicit a better response through modelling. Then it becomes one liner responses to my beautiful conversation. I also think guys are just terrible at conversation and asking questions to get to know you. Not everybody has the personal growth mindset that Matthew does.

[@PinPinKula]

no no no, you got it all wrong.. you just aint attractive, thats the crux of the matter.

[@Elendipity_in_Wonderland]

I’ve always loved your approach on communication, and have learned so much from your firm, yet elegant way of setting a standard -aka how to still be a lady despite the circumstances. However, I have some doubts about your advice here and would like to spark an interesting conversation on the topic (don’t even know if you’re gonna read this, but it’s worth a try). Although the girl in the video means well, I’m sorry to say I’m really rooting for the guy here. He might be giving his bare minimum, but she is being pushy, childish and a tad aggressive -totally off-putting. I’m even surprised he continued texting her. Yes, we all know she means well. She is the type of girl I like to call “Miss Good Intentions, Lousy Execution”. (And believe me, I get her. I've been there). But when you behave like this you become, like you have so nicely put it, “the barker” of the relationship -and even manage to make the other person look good. Another issue I have with the response you provide is the use of “LOL” or emojis while setting a boundary. I love the way you teach us how to be warm and nice when communicating, but more often than not I’ve seen you throw in a “LOL” or a smiley face after setting a standard while texting, which to me feels kind of forced and insincere. While I’m not interested in becoming “the barker” of the relationship, I certainly wouldn’t feel like texting a “LOL” or a winky face after having been vulnerable and told you I’m kind of hurt or disappointed. It’s like setting a standard but doing it on the quiet. Why not just tell him “I love talking to you, but these short exchanges just aren’t all that rewarding.” You’re acknowledging you like talking to him, but you also told him that kind of communication is not gonna get him anywhere. Am I missing something here, Matthew? Would love to hear you talking about the “Miss Good Intentions, Lousy Execution” kind of gal, and offering elegant, warm and solid responses without using emojis.

[@dianeshoemaker6591]

This totally applies to friendships too! I struggle a lot as a female with my girlfriends.

[@vanessamontezumaramos3756]

Hi Matthew, I tried AskMH a few days ago and it was so good! It felt like talking to a real person and help me feel more at ease about an specific issue I'm having. Thanks for making it available!

[@Lexi_Con]

Guys like this are lazy, selfish & insecure. Probably sending vague texts to multiple women to increase the odds of getting a date or hookup. It's a numbers game. Don't let yourselves be disrespected. Don't let the jerks get away w/ it by giving them any attention, let alone your body & soul. They'll do it as long as they go w/o consequences. Some are even married or have multiple baby mamas... They don't care.

[@elia.591]

I get that we all think “ i dont wanna entertain this behavior “ . But i think its important that when setting a standard, it educates others that is not ok what they are doing and they cant go by the world treating people like that. If we all just go silent and let the person alone, we are not teaching them that their behavior is not ok. Is like watching a person throw garbage on a place where is not supposed to be, and everyone is just walking past by without telling them “ you shouldn’t do this” . If we all just give them silence treatment , then that person is going to think that their actions has no consequences. So i agree that mathew shows us , that she should set the stantard of “this is not acceptable, and i am pointing it out. Because your actions has consequences. If you dont treat people respectfully you get a shout out .”

[@janetcarrier313]

That conversation would have ended on my part after the first non response. I would not have waited for a call either. That way it teaches the other person that a year, to eternity, could go by and they will not hear from me again. I will not respond to a non response text.

[@tweelingzielentarot]

Wow Matthew!! I have just tried your Matthew AI and I am loving it! I have never received advise so accurate for my personal situation!! It’s like I was talking to you in person! Really… WOW! You confirmed to me all that I was feeling! 🎉 Very happy for this new feature of yours!

[@andreiamendes9116]

Excellent. Simply excellent, Matthew 💯💯 Thank you for helping all of us 💫

[@judithpool8177]

Thank Mattew , Modelling mature behaviour,is true leadership.❤

[@AmandaMicallef]

Matthew AI is brilliant… ive had 2 x 20 min conversations with brilliant advise returned. Sooooo good

[@masterofdesaster8610]

Don't make it too difficult, Matthew. Why so much effort in articulating right and nudging and diplomacy? "Call me" is all that's needed. If he doesn't call after all this messages stop waiting, stop trying, stop caring. Move on.

[@Mike-sj9si]

@@masterofdesaster8610 Agreed! I feel like it's like: Person A: "People need to communicate more!" Person B: "Call me" Person A: "I don't know what Person B means! They need to be more direct." Person B: "CALL me" Person A: "WOW. That was too much. Person B needs to pull back. I require gentle guidance. I can't get my shit together because Person B isn't leading me properly even though we're both adults"

[@Ainttrippin]

Texting and talking on the phone ruins the mystery and eventually the woman that wants it gets bored of you and ghosts you.

[@ishadhanda1790]

Thank you for teaching me the art of being proactive. My guy just responded the way I wanted him to❤😊!

[@jmbwithcats]

First video I've seen by you; followed. This is relevant to me right now as I feel the communication between my gf and I needs improvement, but in a way that entices her to be more involved, because I know she wants to, I just need to draw it out of her in a healthy way.

[@Nykoooo1]

Men and women really face the same issues. Wanting someone who doesn't want them back.

[@DM-wv6to]

Brilliant video and I like your soft tone of a situation that's become the norm these days. I agree with your conclusions and zi think we should be authentic, absolutely. The problem here is the mixed messages other coaches put out there, which enable game playing. One point though, your suggestions would often end up in the woman sending long responses to one word messages. Much of this stuff comes down to male/female differences.

[@westybesty]

This is great!! You inspired me to post a video on my channel all about how to be irresistibly magnetic & not give a f!! keep up the great work!

[@annacarolinamuzzi9326]

I am fed up. To be honest, I have been rejected emotionally by 6 men. I have been kind, sweet, etc...I am done

[@lupakajsalisa3652]

I've really enjoyed and gotten a lot out of these sit-down videos about specific and relevant topics for exiting a relationship, etc - But I'm a little worried about the AI chatbot. It sounds really great to be able to essentially talk to you personally and get your take on a specific situation, but that sounds like it'll not only encourage a nervous second-guessing of oneself by 'running everything by AI Matthew', but also foster a parasocial relationship with you, the real person. Also, I'm sceptical that I could 'give as much detail and context as I want' while still getting a relevant and coherent answer. But even if that's not a problem, I stand by my first two points. Maybe you could give more of a disclaimer of the limits of the AI? Anyway, thanks so much for these videos, now I need to sleep off a hangover

[@Jess-g7k]

I love these videos when you tell us exactly what to say! Yesssss

[@bohemianslouch3749]

Revolutionary advice, Mathew!! Your work is transformative, and always resonates. Thank you for sharing!! 💖

[@naiva]

Girl texts: "Call me" Guy thinking: "Is something wrong? Is she mad at me? Did I forget something? Do I even dare to call her? Better just pretend I didn't see her message..."

[@913_Niyala]

Seems like the cliche girl expecting the guy to read her thoughts/feelings over text. That might work for couples further into the relationship, but until you guys are in sync, that don't work!

[@ClassicEdge]

She seems young and immature posting her business on TikTok.

[@madeiraislander]

And not a good texter either lol

[@MaryannNunes]

It hurts when a man ignores you it hurts when they pull away and they don't give you any excuses none at all I'm in pain

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Do you pull back and see what happens?

[@MaryannNunes]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I finally pulled back it's over and now I feel free I'm glad I no longer have that for the past 3 years I made a move and I really feel good anybody ignores me again don't even step my way I don't have time for that s*** thank you started watching your videos thank you thank you

[@MaryannNunes]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 that'll be the last man that ever ignores me I'll get over it stay single

[@rudok8700]

Going through the same 😞

[@azoz158]

All of your videos remind me of my ex. Everything 😂😂

[@roverdiem]

Matthew AI is just fantastic, my mind is blown as well!!!!

[@hellequinm]

All about emotional intelligence and communication skills. This is the solution to 99% of relationship problems, romantic or not. Awareness of your own needs is the only way to fulfilling relationships.

[@VanezR]

All they want to do is text…. I’m going to see this as a sign and just be alone at peace

[@SteveDelacruz-t6o]

Old fashioned dating is the best . you find out right away if they are fake or not..

[@ScottKiloby]

Beautiful. They have to rise to the energy that we bring to it

[@bt7816]

I am dealing with someone similar since 3 years. He shows love in person but then is never around when I need a chat 😢

[@bridgetmenham6686]

He's probably a narcissists then xx

[@asp4752]

Some ppl dont like chats and mobiles.

[@Nina-ur3ld]

Did you talk about it with him?

[@linnie14]

@@bridgetmenham6686 yep

[@Lexi_Con]

Think about HOW he shows love. Is it by listening? Being engaged in conversation, ie, asking questions & showing interest in you as a person? Does he genuinely open up or is conversation about superficial topics? Do your encounters usually end in sex?

[@pb7473]

Love this 😂 your amazing how you explain things and the way you can't stop laughing.... That lady's authentic and funny, but I understand her reaction as more like a person in their younger days. Looking forward to your AI 😊

[@anne-mariewalsh6308]

I still cannot believe you can be 17 years of life coaching! Did you learn everything at a very young age (things I am still learning in my mid-50s)? :)

[@Shelyn]

The sheer number of women sharing their stories of these avoidant, immature and unavailable men is mind blowing, very sad. It’s become a crisis tbh. What happened to men to become this incapable? Porn? Dating apps? Only Fans? All these external influences have a big part of it but at the core, these men are so lost somewhere. Goes to show the character of men these days. I’ve just ended a situationship after 5 months of dating a dismissivr avoidant man. It hurts and makes you question yourself sometimes. This goes beyond dating stage too, so many married women go through cheating, betrayal and negligence. I try to keep an optimistic outlook that there are great men out there but these videos and posts just keep coming.

[@vladonutueu]

Don’t fuss too hard it’s the same or worse with women.

[@Shelyn]

@@vladonutueu yeah, unfortunately. It’s just way too many comments from stories from women though.

[@sharronmeissner8685]

People who only text all the time and aren’t able to have a conversation on the phone or a FaceTime or heaven forbid in person are avoiding something. They might even be an avoidant (dismissive or fearful). It’s not normal behaviour.

[@CarpeDiem2805]

I think, in general, men aren’t as communicative as women. I just feel that communication is so important, but then watching their actions is even more indicative. I don’t want to change who they are as it won’t take long before they go back to their old selves.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Men aren't as VERBALLY communicative as women; they communicate more through their actions as you say.

[@sylph99]

Do NOT entertain minimum effort texts/ treatment! It’s already a red flag. 🚩

[@claddaghclare22]

The AI is incredible and so very helpful x

[@discopotato675]

Either they want to put in effort to talk to me or they don't. I don't want/need to manipulate somebody into doing something they didn't care to do on their volition

[@Elsa-dp2jo]

this is amazing!!!! Cant believe you have an AI, I need it (: ❤ Thank you!

[@janereinhardt4715]

Lots of people do not text! My parents never even owned a cell phone. My boyfriend doesn't text- his fingers are too large & makes it very difficult for him. I send him "FYI texts" only, such as "i am running 5 minutes late", or "Thank you", or "Good Morning".

[@neffyiffy]

“And instead. to just look indifferent and like I don’t care that much, even though, right now, I have your text messages projected onto a screen, in front of all my friends” followed by Matthew’s giggle lmao hilarious 😂

[@Nikita-rm1ru]

I just blocked one energy vampire .He was happy texting but not ready to call .He said chatting is comfortable so I gave him that and in my comfort blocked him😅

[@tiagobarbosa509]

You're crazy

[@Nikita-rm1ru]

@@tiagobarbosa509 Haha same as you

[@Nikita-rm1ru]

@@tiagobarbosa509 Same as you

[@celemax4692]

I think that after we started communicating with text messages, many people that have no respect or empathy towards other people’s feelings, got used to this type of almost 0 effort to keep a good communication with honesty. I think they guy was just interested in someone else, this happens a lot actually; but they just keep on talking to many people at the same time just in case it doesn’t work with the person they are really interested in dating. So we just have to be always prepared to be ghosted when they actually get lucky to get the one they want. Dating nowadays has become really exhausting emotionally, that’s why many people choose to be alone, even If they don’t want to be alone.

[@bluewizzard8843]

When I would write a Woman "call me" this is a massive overstep (nearly stalking) for some of them. To be frank these are not the women you want to have in your life either way so these kind of women are by now all out, some by their choice some by mine. But when someone put's No effort or even blames you for 'overstepping' you quit immediately. They try to make you feel guilty and not worthy of their time. Look for quality men or women not for self entitled ones.

[@RoughNeckDelta]

"When I would write a Woman "call me"" I'm no expert, but from studying this stuff I would guess the guy is not supposed to have the woman call him.

[@elenarotestan5823]

If someone doesn't practice effort and reciprocity with me, I am not even going to bother for a day or two.. I give back the same energy and effort.