Do This to Stay Sane When You Fall In Love (4-video Compilation)

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***
Nothing ruins new love like an agenda. If you grew up with trauma, you may end up romantically attached to people before you've gotten to know them, but there's a better way to date! In this four-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos for people with CPTSD who want to change trauma-driven dating patterns and find real love at last.
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[@timjohnson2186]

To whom ever reads this, I love you. Keep going.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Doodlefisher]

Thanks!🙏 ❤

[@NhungNguyen-zf3bh]

❤❤❤❤thank you

[@bedailvenerabile]

I love you too💗

[@AthenBerlin]

Love you too, we survived ❤

[@RC-eb5hq]

Speaking as a woman, if a man doesn't know where he stands at beginning, WORST possible thing you can do is push harder! That feels unsafe for women. At least 1/3 of women in US have been sexually assaulted by age 25. When in doubt, DONT PUSH HARDER!!!!

[@MsHellcat08]

This! If we say no, believe us! Don't listen to online male dating "experts", listen to the woman.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That stat is not true.

[@kibbecapsule7571]

It absolutely isn't, thanks for pointing it out.

[@sunshine-cm5xn]

depends on the definition of assault but yeah, I bet every girl has been sexually harrased (just by being looked at grossly, being catcalled those are the 'mildest' form of harrasment) before 25. Not to mention this girl mentioned her history of being abused and wanting to take things slow, giving absolutely clear cues about not wanting to be kissed. For the life of me I can't ever understand this person who translate his own desperation-tinted-colour-glasses, somehow thinking that this girl needed another encounter like this. She prob gave all that speech about 'oh it's not you it's me' bc that's the only way she knew that she was going to be safe from some the backlash from rejecting him. Trauma response is all over

[@Auntijengen]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy What is the stat? If women don't report most of the time, how can it be verified? ?

[@MyAkachi]

People need to open their mouth and communicate. "Shall we kiss?" or "Would it be okay if I kissed you?" will give you a clear answer, instead of trying to infer that her playing with hair or hair not pushing your hand away from her lower back at another time meant that it was a greenlight for you to kiss her. People need to open their mouth and communicate. Especially when you want to do something of a sexual nature.

[@RC-eb5hq]

A guy I was very attracted to told me he wanted to kiss me. That made me see him as respectful and gentlemanly. We went on to have a sweet romance.

[@kmduarte2005]

Exactly! Some people read way more into a look or an action than what’s really there. Some people think just saying hello to them means you’re interested in them.

[@Ohhhwehere]

yes! Iv never felt so happy as that moment I learned about verbal consent, I love when people ask if they can kiss, hug ect, before they move closer. Its such an amazing blessing to know that information❤

[@3506Dodge]

I've benefitted from no longer assuming others' interest in me. I see that others aren't interested in me and I move on...and on....and on....but I don't have the strained and confusing experiences I used to have with new people. If no one is interested in me, so be it. But, the new emotional calm and self-awareness I feel has been nice.

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

Sad.

[@ofyourbluesky]

Why? ​@@jasonfitzpatrick414

[@chiaraA.]

I don't think she wasn't really interested in him.... I think it's impossible to say - but I DO think his quick moving on her really was a turn off and she decided he wasn't for her and sounds like he triggered her - because she was crying in her car right after - in fact she could have decided that he just was not safe and she was upset because she thought he was a better guy - and maybe he actually is a better guy, but he came off as a not that great type guy

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Sounds like he was pretty pushy also. Might have freaked her out.

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

Fear on her part? I hope they both are ok.

[@BrocolliGirl]

Wow I needed this. I have met someone who has shown me what real love is. We are taking our time and we are learning about each other. He has shown me what true love is. It’s terrifying.

[@jewelj7507]

You inspire me. Like Anna you’re showing us that this is possible. Bravo

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

Listen and take it slow. Be honest and open. Ask, if in any doubt.

[@Augfordpdoggie]

If he is a good human, tell him that, and give him all the evidence that you are only into him

[@carolnahigian9518]

When nothing goes Wrong; trust my folks to blab: critique; and RUIN any relationship.

[@sylviahalo]

Me too. Just the past month or so. I’m so afraid. And so happy (AKA terrified).

[@A.l.a.c.]

I'm dating a man now and my situation started like the first story. But my guy reacted very well to rejection in front of me, he accepted it like a gentleman, wanted to be friends and all, he didn't give up but gave me space and in about a month I decided to give it a shot and it's been great since! I don't regret.

[@tracybrown3569]

She clearly golf him that she needed to take it slow. Yet he didn't honor her words, he actually did just the opposite and didn't respect her boundaries. No thank you.

[@itachiuchiha6876]

Yeah, exactly. Him asking me months later why I’m not into him would freak me out and cause me to just block him. Desperation is so aggressive, and sometimes terrifying. You’ll KNOW if someone likes you, you shouldn’t have to second guess it. Plus, why would you even want to be with someone who’s hand you have to borderline force. The writer of the first story is so icky.

[@turquoisetoile-universalethics]

I spent eight agonizing months this past winter being in limerence with someone because of confidentiality rules (I met her in treatment program) not knowing what kind of person I was dealing with because she wouldn't share with me either. I spent eight painful months until someone told me she wasn't gay. I wasted 8 months in terrible pain because I was hoping something might work out. I was relieved to finally let go of her, but exhausted. Living in a fantasy is not worth it.

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

Exactly.. After all of the heartbreaks I have had with women,I have decided to just put my passion into my model car building in order to fill the void in my heart...

[@EverydayImmortal]

I do think it's good to not *need* a relationship in the sense that you are okay with the possibility of never getting it, and have learned that you can be happy with or without it. Basically shedding that feeling of having a relationship being life or death. Definitely nothing wrong with wanting it and taking steps towards finding that great, healthy love.

[@charliefox9573]

Agree, though it's easier said than done to stay in that mindset when you're middle aged and have been alone for much of your life, despite having everything going for you.

[@sunshine-cm5xn]

well this video rly makes me feel upset. STAY AWAY FROM A YOUNG WOMAN WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE KISSED BY YOU. like how can you not take the hint???? why would you feel entitled to push yourself onto her? I feel uncomfortable listening to this, I can't imagine what that girl might've felt. yuck. I guess I'm sorry to be unkind and blunt but I really empathise with her more than this person. She cried in her car, she prob have a history of older men forcing themselves onto her and her response is fawning and that make my blood boil. Poor girl.

[@samaraisnt]

yeah less stories from men. at least ones like this. there are sympathetic men but he ain’t one.

[@Doodlefisher]

“Eroticizing rejection “ kind of like Peppe Le Pew

[@itachiuchiha6876]

I agree with everything fairy says, except for the part where she says he could reach back out to the girl. That girl made it clear she was NOT interested and likely does not want to hear from the writer and is likely moving forward with people who don’t literally pounce on her on the first date. The writer should leave that girl alone, and stay away from her. No need to ask “why don’t you like me?” that’s a super uncomfortable question, and comes off as desperate enforceable, like he already came off as on the dates.

[@AthenBerlin]

Well I believe there's a misunderstanding. I think the point is, our fairy can correct me of course,to openly express his feelings so he gets a clear reply that will help him go on. Otherwise he will be imprisoned in this phantasy that creates doubts and hopes to which will finally not allow him to find his partner to be. 😊

[@Unreality3D]

One nice thing about taking it slow is that if the relationship is healthy you will never lose it from taking your time.

[@Ohhhwehere]

that's very true😊

[@MsHellcat08]

Why can't men believe us when we say NO?

[@toria8660]

I have established that for so long, I "acted" like what I thought people should be. I made a lot of very stupid mistakes due to this. I didn't trust my own thinking or feelings. I tried to be like other people. I sadly based a lot of my thinking on how things happened in movies. So grateful I discovered what's been going on and learning and understanding about myself now. I'm starting a new job and working on trying to show up closet to my truer self rather than a weird version of the person I think everyone wants to be.

[@annarorick7151]

One thing that would get me is having to kiss on a first date. Become a friend and go slow.

[@mrcollinsjuju1569]

When it gets to mutual "I love you"s and then they go back to their ex... that's the stuff that kills a spirit.

[@RC-eb5hq]

Ooohh...ouch. if it's any consolation, a guy I was dating asked me to take care of his cat while he was in Europe. 3 weeks later when he returned, it came out that his previous girlfriend went with him!! Could have knocked me over with a feather. Always a red flag when they don't end a ride to the airport or to be picked up. LOL!😂

[@singha6]

A kiss could be construed as an assault if the other person is not ready or wanting to. The woman may have been crying because she felt violated.

[@samaraisnt]

“could be” how many people that you don’t consent to kiss you would you like to kiss you??! People obviously cry when they’re upset.

[@sara_sofia_1984]

This culture you have in the US about kissing someone on the first date feels really bad to me. That is going way too fast and why would you kiss someone if you don't know them enough to know if you want to be in a relationship with them or not? That's putting the cart before the horses, in my opinion. I take the approach of getting to know each other as friends first and then decide if we want a committed relationship before we kiss or do anything else of a sexual nature. I'm not surprised things often go wrong when people are rushing into kissing before they feel ready. If you want to know if a woman has a romantic interest in you, just ask her with words, and hopefully, she will be honest with you. If she is not rushing to kiss you, it doesn't mean she isn't interested. Don't make assumptions.

[@sage6238]

Haven't even watched he's the video yet but judging by the title, this is exactly the video I needed 😭

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Me too🎉

[@user-wc8mn2gh6y]

me too

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Doodlefisher]

Feel good about a rejection because it makes your choices refined!

[@willemfeather2655]

"There's no substitute for words". "Careful and measured." Yes! Allow closeness to build slowly. If it's not builing, you'll know - long before kissing.

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

People that have a common interest... I just joined a local Model Car Building Club and it is great to share my passion with others and it helps me deal with all of the heartbreaks I have dealt with..

[@BASED.88]

Why would I date someone if I couldn’t see the possibility of marriage? The second I meet someone, I’m weighing the possibility

[@ofyourbluesky]

I never want to get married

[@Ohhhwehere]

depends on what you are looking for, when I left my last x I wanted to date again after one year, but only for the fun of it and it was great! we all had a good time with no strings attached😊 And then 3 years after the break up I felt ready to start finding someone to marry so my entire dating pool got switched out with potential partners, after a few months I met a great guy and we have been together for 8 months ❤

[@user-do3qz7kt2m]

I can’t even find the wrong person dating at 55 I just can’t even get a date for coffee every one seem to be taken 😢😢😢or weird 😮

[@jasenkavukelic5047]

I can relate so much! I am 40 and live in a small town in Croatia.

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

I know the feeling.... My hobby of Model Car Building help me with the loneliness..

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

I'm 57 and agree. Married, divorced, kids, nutjob, career focused, doesn't see me measuring up, etc. It's better to live in fear. I feel like a fraud.

[@icedcoldcoffee]

So timely, it is my birthday today and on reflection mode, so many things to unlearn❤❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Happy Birthday! Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

Happy birthday.

[@joannarose8138]

I mean the whole video is filled with gems and great resonance but 25:58-29:29

[@cristinaxo]

Yes - this part was awesome - expressed so well and authentically 👍

[@jodiburnett6211]

If anyone makes this much of a public fuss over you, it’s about them putting on a show and living in a storybook like they saw on tv. “My Dream Girl” The guy stated that his fantasy illusion he had for her from the plan of the first date. This is the adolescent fantasy we all got trapped in with sketchy programming. Dopamine is not Love. The excitement we must unhook from to heal takes time. Thanks for your Fairy clarity ! 🙏🏽❤️

[@saraherrick4675]

Could use your crappy childhood pen. Met someone out of no where, haven’t even connected like this with anyone in a very long time if ever. I saw the red flags of impulsivity and moving too fast so I set healthy boundaries and barriers. But I still ended up falling pretty hard for him, he touched placed in my soul I don’t know how to get free of. But then he started showing signs of disinterest, blowing me off and withdrawing. I haven’t learned about immerence yet so I know I need to look into that. But it’s just been so frustrating, he got past my walls then disappeared. Last thing I needed, I even saw it coming but still got caught up in it. And ya I’m struggling being present with no pressure. I think the cptsd has taken over and I can only handle being with someone if they can see forever with me which takes time. But I get attached too quickly then all this neediness I’ve never allowed myself to feel comes out and pushes people away. I guess the key would be finding someone who loves that neediness and isn’t freaked out about it bcz im not sure it’s healable at this point.

[@melaniegrace7707]

Anna you are just so good at what you do I’m so glad I found your videos

[@amandasodhi]

The girl said she had an abusive ex and trauma. Imagine, if she was clearly asking to take things slow because she had faced sexial abuse and insteaad this man violated her / tried to coerce her into a kiss twice in barely 3 meetings, triggering disturbing memories and resulting in her feeling not ready to date. I don't understand how this man is the victim - he left her crying after violating her and never asking / looking for enthusiastic consent before trying to kiss her. That sounds predatory, followed by toxic sarcastic comments he passed on to her and then messages he sent her later he's now ashamed of. Sorry, but not feeling any sympathy for him.

[@samaraisnt]

all men think they’re the victim…a common occurrence is r/pists will cry to their victim and say “I didn’t mean to, I’m not that bad am i?” and then SHE will have to comfort him and say “Nooo you’re a good person! It’s okay.” mind you the women are always younger but have to be the mature one. All I needed to hear was he’s 31 and going after 25 year olds cause they’re his “perfect type.” uh huh.

[@JOCECIL]

Im in a very desmotivating place. I dont produce attraction and the few that shows to be attracted are emotionally ill people and or peiple that are really not into me. The worst part is that I suffer for limerence and anxious insecure attachment. I choose celibacy to avoid hook ups. I really want to be happy and loved and to have a bright life.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're here to support you! Nika@TeamFairy

[@jbpoeticjustice]

Thank you for putting into words what I've been pondering lately. The cab light analogy is super helpful.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Augfordpdoggie]

Being ugly, i dont have this problem.....ahh the peace and tranquility

[@jasenkavukelic5047]

I know, right? The older I get, it's easier.

[@orjibaby]

Oh no 😂😂😂😂😂

[@pablobarrera7613]

New relationship? Not even a date is possible! People have become weirder and weirder every passing day!

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

I am currently destroying my relationship with someone I think I love. So, after I get my head out of my ass, I'll watch the video. It might be a few days. Thanks for the advice, Anna. I'm so sad I screwed this up. I think she is right that the pain of wanting love is good. It means we want to attain love. I think she is the one. I want to just learn all about her. I want to be with her all the time. I want her happy and safe. I need to be myself, and it is tough to be myself so she can love me. What a year it has been.

[@AndiAlexander1]

Unfortunately men get this advice to look for “indications of interest” instead of just using what humans have, language. Then they try so hard not to get “friendzoned” that they make it unsafe for the woman to actually feel any attraction she may have felt. So the only thing she can do is feel like friends or feel assaulted. Usually we choose friends.

[@chamuuemura5314]

Great video. I think with the first guy, her crying in the car could’ve been triggered memories of sexual abuse. Unless she gets therapy, she’ll likely be emotionally unavailable to any gentleman yet willing to trash herself with a bad guy. That’s a symptom of BPD (which can be worked on with therapy). Relating to her emotionally and dwelling on that shows he needs therapy, too, because this is his method of self-trashing. I’ve been there and am so grateful for that honest answer @18:00 and getting therapy.

[@nannysplace30]

Your advice towards the end is a very poignant one. I have one foot in and the other foot limping out. This point is well received . Thank you for what you bring into this healing community.

[@Doodlefisher]

Good advice! A lot of culture puts stress on you to rush something and grab your girlfriend/boyfriend fast of someone else will get them. Hasty decisions will cost you happiness!

[@LemonAdeYesPlease]

Needed this. Recently did first video call to this guy. I “think” we vibed? And i think we both did feel feelings. And i was going in spiral. What if he rejects me. What is he dates someone else. What if i make fool of myself. What if i have to get embarrassed. It was baaad

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We understand as few others can. Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@ellebee9864]

Yes, I absolutely hate the ruminating. It can be worse than limerence.

[@sudaminis1302]

Great video. I am a big believer in true love and I can never stop hoping.

[@AthenBerlin]

What a great video. Thank you so much for all that you share with us and help us so much.

[@marcin3136]

"to Stay Sane When You Fall In Love" 🤔🤨😵‍💫😆😅🤣😂🤣🙃🤭😉😋

[@Doodlefisher]

Got the message to speak your mind and reveal your blockage. Moving forward! Thanks!

[@Marwonderful]

It’s like you’re reading my mind…And calling me out on all my unhealed tendencies. Love your videos

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@elise2914]

I agree with most of this, EXCEPT the bit about reaching out to the girl now. I think she is afraid of this guy, who pushed the boundaries she gently tried to set due to past abuse (sounds like she had a freeze/fawn reaction with the hand on the back but she clearly wasn’t into kissing), then made angry, sarcastic comments because he felt rejected, then left her crying in her car, and is now obsessing over her months later. He needs to stay far away from her and work on respecting women’s boundaries and letting information in rather than imposing his fantasies and needs on others.

[@noremac0123456789]

This is so true…I’ve skipped over some huge red flags because of rushing in to fast.

[@Uli55585]

I loved the last video about the cab light 🚖💡

[@zeitgeist5134]

Perhaps you would do a video that addresses this problem? A 'friend' whose actions consistently contradict her words. Though she always protests her loving fond regard, her actions make it clear that I am a low priority, if indeed a priority at all. For example, a repeatedly promised visit, including emails announcing that she is on her way!! But she never arrives (never bothers to inform me of her change of plans) because she decided to attend a Demolition Derby instead. This is typical, consistent. The Demo Derby is important. I am not. (Oh, how the myriad excuses will rain down if I talk to her. She says that things got "convoluted". ???) It does me psychological harm every time, though my husband advises, 'Don't let it bother you.' He's right. By now after years of this, I should step back and do a Buddhist detachment thing. We each have our priorities and I don't happen to be her priority. But, dammit, I sucker for her (usually vague) promises every time. I invest myself in her proffered connection though my rational mind knows that she will not deliver. Perhaps you remember the annual cartoon in the old Peanuts comic strip, the cartoon where Lucy hold the football, Charlie Brown runs to kick it, and then at the last moment, Lucy yanks the football away and Charlie Brown lands flat on his back. It's like that. I believe that this "friend" is entirely unaware of how her actions contradict her words. For all I know, she treats everybody the same way. She presents herself as a love-love-love person, all warmth and smiling approval. In a way, it's true...except. Though I am a very isolated, lonely person who has no gift for connecting in a deep, trusting way, I am seriously considering telling her, "Go away. Don't ever contact me again." I don't want my gut to have to digest this crap again.

[@zeitgeist5134]

​@@toria8660 Thank you, Toria, for your reply. So, it's not just me. I am comforted. Very similar. Even the part where she got angry when you did not comply with her request. So that ended the "friendship". In my situation, I myself will have to take the initiative. Maybe today. (She's coming here to pick up seven trash bags of free horse manure that I had filled for her---a lot of work!---and that I had expected her to take away after her "visit".) I want to do it with a moderate, civil tone of voice. I am thinking that I will give her the opportunity to explain the "convoluted" excuses. (I was previously thinking of refusing to listen to excuses, but that would be in-your-face hostile.) I was thinking that I would then say, "I know that you are unaware how transparent you are. The Demo Derby was very important to you, but I am not...and that's okay. However, to avoid enduring this kind of thing in the future, I am now ending the connection between you and me. Go home. Do not contact me ever again." Even as I have been writing this reply, I have been editing and refining my scenario for this, weeding out hostility. I hope that you don't mind me using you as a sounding board. When I wrote the original comment, I was seeking a sympathetic ear to help me work it out. Perhaps I should just ghost her...

[@zeitgeist5134]

@@toria8660 ​ It is so kind of you to help me sort this out. I just watched a Crappy Childhood Fairy video, "Graceful Endings for Friendships". kzbin.info/www/bejne/imHZeZ6gjrCNrsksi=6Xk2G4r-GFf_Pg1i&t=278 I got this implied take-away (my words): "When you end a friendship, you are not obligated to explain to the ex-friend why you are ending it. In fact, it is better not to explain. However, when contact occurs, be polite, if not friendly." it's kind of like courteous ghosting. I think that I will go that route. It does sound like you ended your difficult friendship in a courteous manner, infused with compassion for the flawed person. Well done.

[@zeitgeist5134]

@@toria8660 In the comments under her "Graceful Endings to Friendships" video I asked Anna to respond to my take-away. She replied, "You are not obliged to explain. But it's not "better" to avoid this." I did prefer my "polite-ghosting" interpretation, but I will follow her advice. Turns out that your process was the correct one!

[@Belerofonte64]

Thank you Fairy, you have been responsible for so much healing in my life❤❤❤❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, that's so wonderful to hear! Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@karbrzozowska9299]

You are such a gift!! ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@zadabeasley]

The world needs more love.💕

[@jamie8005]

Agreed. I once got a kiss on a second date bc I “gave the universal signal” of applying chapstick 😆

[@alexandriaavelar7599]

Physical intimacy should never take the place of emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Waiting on kissing (this CAN take several dates) till the other is genuinely ready should be respected. Take her words seriously she had a boundary and it wasn’t respected it was pushed in a more secluded setting that can feel too fast even predatory for some people if she was crying in her car.

[@joannapowell3579]

Re the first story…I generally have so much sympathy for the people who have the courage to write in, but something about how this guy thought the girl was sending secret non verbal cues that she actually wanted to kiss, even tho that wasn’t at all what she said, gave me then creeps..

[@atillafiliz6591]

Getting the creeps is an excellent warning that something is oit of the ordinary. Dangerous, manipulative or narcissistic people trigger those alarms, but unfortunately so do some awkward and anxious people. Those comments of his are typical for men without much social experience and learned things through books or internet. Gotta put your own safety first though.

[@joannapowell3579]

@@atillafiliz6591 really good points, thank you

[@catherinekittykat]

SUPER EXCELLENT FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR👍👍

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you think so! Nika@TeamFairy

[@nnglnd]

Kissing is very important.

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

Therapy,Meds and Hobbies will be of help of him to get over her..

[@stacyjaye6350]

Meds?😂NO

[@laveniajohnson2283]

With the first letter Anna read I expected her to say something about the man being less interested in the women who were passionate and sexual with him than the woman who wasn't. He was obsessing over the woman who seemed to have values. This is the cruel reality that needs to be taught to women. Most men will try to have sex with you and go ahead and do it if you agree, but he will like the woman better who resists him. Its a test, of course they won't tell you that, and will usually take sex whenever and with whoever. But the one who resists is the one they want.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

It's an infuriating GAME guys play. Why do I have to play coy?! God help me.

[@jenniferlynn3721]

She was listening to her intuition.

[@atipachaleka9172]

Will it ever get better?I pushed away someone I loved and he broke up with me because he has ADHD.I have always been positive but today I woke up feeling drained.I have isolated myself since morning.I apologized to him and we are now in no contact.I am heartbroken

[@JuanitaClifton]

Waiting 17 years, no dates.

[@laureensanchez6491]

Thank youuuuuu🎉

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@samaraisnt]

*31….25. All I needed to hear.* If they met naturally, fine. But he filtered for younger women and his “dream girl” is significantly younger than him? All I need to know right there. Of course he forced her and wouldn’t take it slow. He needs a 30+ year old but he’s stuck in adolescent delusions and projections. A man who protects “she wants me” with no clear signs (erotic delusions) is dangerous.

[@danaw23]

Thank you ❤

[@shantbarsoumian101]

I agree with a lot of what you say and share for people that deal with CPTSD but I have to push back a little on your idea of "The One" or the "Perfect Love" when people who are dealing with CPTSD in their romantic relationships. I understand that you don't want them to "crapfit" a poor relationship and try to make it work. But I feel like this idealized "The One" and "Perfect Love" is not helping them on the opposite end. My Ex is a Dismissive Avoidant and I'm sure it is a result of her CPTSD. They can be dismissive of very good and healthy partners and abandon good relationships due to a single perceived red flag and convince themselves that their partner was just not "The One" and if they were their "Perfect Love" things would just work out and be easy. But this is because of their unprocessed trauma and not wanting to process their emotions, just bury them when someone gets emotionally close. This will leave them safe from emotional intimacy, which they fear, but ultimately alone.

[@ellebee9864]

Yep, I run from healthy partners at the first sighting of a problem.

[@shantbarsoumian101]

@ellebee9864 most avoiants do. They have low self esteem due to unmet emotional needs as a child which their parents couldn't or didn't fill. The child feels unlovable deep down and thinks that it is only a matter of time that a healthy partner who gets too close emotionally will realize they are unlovable and abandon them. They have such a high fear of abandonment that they will preemptively abandon, run away from and discard a healthy partner that is demanding emotionally intimacy and closeness. They feel safe with their walls up and push partners away and bury any feelings they have as a self protective mechanism.

[@ellebee9864]

@@shantbarsoumian101 🎯🎯🎯 You just read me like a book. Smh

[@natalie77867]

Ew, he sounds like so many avoidant men I've dated. Chase to 'win' then ghost. Ginny had a lucky escape imho

[@BlastBeeeats]

Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Unreality3D]

Sure seems like a red flag to me when you aren’t at all concerned whether you’re the other person‘s dream date and don’t respect their input as to whether or not you’re a good fit for them. Relationships can’t be perfect from one side only.

[@Marieelle1985]

Great ❤ thanks :)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@NiceNSpicySouth]

Thank you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

TBI -( Traumatic Brain Injury ) makes it impossible for me to read social cues so I don't even bother with dating... I just enjoy my life the best I can...

[@yonitznkc]

I’m 62 -fix m up with Bonnie.

[@ellebee9864]

I love you Anna!!! My cab light is now so bright that I am attracting borderline stalkers (after only one no-contact date). How do I SAFELY turn away someone who does not meet my criteria???? 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching! If you'd like to share your story and ask Anna a question, feel free to write an "Ask the Fairy" letter. You can do it from here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters Nika@TeamFairy

[@prisca5]

How do we come to let our cab light shine? Seems overwhelming to me, even it is my goal

[@sarahharte1845]

First here I love your videos ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for being here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@dr986]

I have the same problem over and over, we chat and get on, a guy asks for a date and I agree, he then disappears because he’s with his children or something and I get triggered, I’m unsure if they’re showing me they don’t care about how I feel or this is just normal and my feeling sad they didnt send me a good morning is too much? Even when I broach it gently it results in the guy disappearing 😅

[@MissBluebirddays]

How long do they disappear for? And try not to have expectations ie good morning texts, it'll kill the relationship before it's had a chance!

[@ellebee9864]

I loathe the GM text now after learning guys send them out to a global list of women. If your name is not in the message, it could have gone out to several other ladies.

[@Brody.W]

Amen and amen.

[@Infinityflowyoga]

I feel seen 🤯🤯🤯 omg !!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@FabulousSquidward]

I'm sorry but who the hell has snails in their house 😂

[@user-vt6pk2xt5t]

I think she was in love someone else and he did not want her and she was still thinking abıut him.

[@louisvelazquez5608]

Is this the 4 videos together or is this part 1?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

This is a compilation of 4 videos on the same topic. Anna releases compilations every Sunday, each time on a different topic, and all of them certainly refer to childhood PTSD. Nika@TeamFairy

[@louisvelazquez5608]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks 🙏

[@Doodlefisher]

57:46 👍

[@BlastBeeeats]

🖤

[@mysteradio]

🎉

[@tessyutu]

love the snail analogy :D

[@LiaaT__]

Not even my fault anymore even with all trauma at this point most people can't be trusted.:) They just aren't serious or drop you. Lol what's the point. And yeah none of them are that attractive anymore to me

[@dereksowers628]

Not sure this is good advice. Let your perception run wild and be in the moment. Kissing can happen one hour in. By third date you should both feel interest in your stomach.

[@timjohnson2186]

She is right. GOD IS LOVE

[@Augfordpdoggie]

Which god, zeus?

[@almightybeanchild]

These religious nuts need to eff off

[@Ominous89]

Yeah, well, I've caught my mother cheating when I was 3 years old. My first ex cheated. My second ex cheated. So I rest my case. Nobody deserves a relationship with me. Absolutely nobody. A friendship with sexual intercourse is the best it gets with me. Or even better: sexual intercourse only. It doesn't even have to be friendship anymore. Whenever a relationship gets brought up, I already packed my bags. You're free to go. I'm free to go. I'm not gonna chain myself to anybody anymore. And I love to be alone. As narcissistic as it sounds; I love myself so much, that it became impossible for anybody else to love me. 😂

[@RC-eb5hq]

Soooo...sounds likenyour very first impression.of women at age 3 is t 16:28 hat "they all cheat", so, yes, would be easy to carry that belief system into adulthood and therefore.draw people who vibrate at that level into your life.

[@Ominous89]

Because of that "they all cheat" mindset, I gradually expanded my sexuality from hetero, to pansexual. However, as crazy as it sounds, it did open up my heart. I went from social anxiety, to making friends and even friends with benefits with any gender. But women want to claim 'their' man like an asset despite that they all cheat whatever they like. So whenever a woman shows motivation or interest for a relationship, I will give her the cheat-treat. One of the first questions I will always ask, is not if she cheated, but how many times she has cheated. Once confirmed, or after being lied to, the second question will be about her bodycount. And then I already lost interest in her.

[@Notmyname2007]

Hey Ominous. Love your profile pic. My mother and that side of my family are from Paris so I’ve visited the notre dame many times

[@Ominous89]

@@Notmyname2007 The last time I visited La Dame Vieux was when I was homeless. A few months after the fire. November 2019. There next to the Seine, I started the first drawing of each side of the cathedral. Stone by stone. I finished the last one after I finally came home in the Netherlands. I may be from the Netherlands, but Notre Dame and I have a very special history together. The first time I've visited La Dame Vieux was when I was 9. After the full eclipse I spontaneously started drawing it for the first time in ink, on a vacation in the south of France. When I was 15 I tried to draw it again, but with completed front towers. After that I started making up my own cathedrals, with elements of Notre Dame in it. I took a picture of it. Adjusted the picture with all kinds of filters. Until the picture was blackened, the spire looks as if it's in flames. The flames faintly enlightening the rest of fhe cathedral. A picture of a real déjà vu wich sadly came to be true 5 years later. I still have that picture as solid proof of this scary prediction. That fire turned my whole life upside down. It was the lowest point of my burnout and a few months later I was homeless. I went to Paris on a bicycle packed with all the stuff needed for wildcamping. I tried to work there as a carpenter/jack of all trades. For a whole month I cycled from the forest to Notre Dame and trying to get something arranged. But protests were everywhere. Paris is a maze. My money was running low. I was emaciated. After a month of trying and trying I went back to the Netherlands. There I ended up drawing each side of La Dame Vieux stone by stone. Seeing that new spire brought me to tears. It's magnificent. :'-)

[@Notmyname2007]

@@Ominous89 I would love to see your drawings and your artwork. Are you born in 1989 like me?

[@realhouseknives5095]

“the beautiful thing about people that break our hearts” ooooof 💔❤️‍🩹 it’s true❤️❤️❤️

[@PaperParade]

Wish this had come out 2 years ago before I completely self sabotaged 🥲

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're here now :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

I am self sabotaging myself right now. I'm pretty broken up about it. I yearn to do better. I can see I am far from norm. I hope you are well, paperparade.