Do you use women?!

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[@babasingh6606]

Men do SO MUCH of this labor, with NO acknowledgement.

[@HealthySexualityWithKenLLC]

Amen!

[@Geekman333]

🏆🥇 Here you go.

[@yolojabromeo-xw8ft]

my experience was that the moment women had to put in energy they were gone. I lost friends of 18+ years when I decided to open up and require energy.

[@BodymanBrett]

Isn't that the truth. I've had similar experiences.

[@LuminairPrime]

Sounds like bad luck with bad friends! Don't let that trauma kill your social life. There are free/cheap talk therapy resources online and locally for you to talk to someone who won't ignore you. Get back on the horse.

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

Mutual giving & receiving emotional labour is a normal part of a good relationship, friendship, family etc. It should be given & received many times. It doesn't require thanks each time, nor does it accumulate a debt. Some people need more emotional labour than others, so one person in a couple may be doing more giving & the other doing more receiving.

[@bobbystoner]

But still a little thank you is always nice :D

[@G_to_the_off]

It's not even emotional labour, it's being a normal connected emotional being. Emotional labor is when you're expected to project an emotion you're not experiencing - lying and being inauthentic. I don't think any normal person expects or requests that in a relationship.

[@srami004]

When you’re in the friend zone… When you’re labeled the, “Nice guy.”

[@LuminairPrime]

There's nothing wrong with being friendly or nice. There IS something wrong with giving your energy to someone who doesn't care about you and won't give energy back. That's when you need to ghost them and spend your time on someone better.

[@DavidEnglert]

I see ladies online lament they feel like free emotional labor for their partners, and then turn around an say they aren't your therapist (like they have ever uncovered a childhood trauma outside their own). Most guys I know hold space (as the kids calling these days) for their friends and partners al the time, I have done it twice in the last two days once with my wife and once with a close friend. But years ago when I was alarmed that I was having thoughts of self deletion and went to my wife, she took it personally and it was heading toward a fight before I dropped it, I love my wife but it wasn't her finest moment. Luckily I had a friend/coworker I could confide in. Most men just look at it as part of being in a relationship/freindship not as a separate thing to barter over.

[@williamfdunlap3738]

What was this? Most mens' lived experience. Is giving "emotional labor" without a thank you or acknowledgement, while also asking no one for emotional support. If you were making a statement about being more open to a woman's emotional needs, or being more willing to open up I could understand. It felt like it lacked awareness to the audience you are trying to reach.

[@airynod]

I get your message, but making emotional labour a gendered issue always rubs me the wrong way. I understand that being kind and listening to others' negative experiences and emotions is always overlooked and underappreciated. However, if we consider the original definition of emotional labour as applied to working spaces, men who remain stoic or tolerant of negative emotions from their spouses also engage in emotional labour. The worst part is that when the concept of emotional labour is introduced into the relationship discussion, not many people consider it as such.

[@kellygreenii]

Teal Swan does. She call that kind of masculine emotional labor “containment”. Other women call it “emotional safety”. …and yes, it not only goes unappreciated, it is sometimes actively rebelled against.

[@henrykujawa4427]

I work part-time as a home health aide. When I was trained for this, I was repeatedly told, "You're there for the client, not you." Meaning, you're there to hear the client's problems, not tell them yours. HOWEVER, for 3 years I worked for a guy who'd been in a wheelchair his whole life. 2 minutes after we met, it felt like were already old friends. Every weekend, when I'd make him dinner, and sit down with him as he ate, we'd spend about 20 minutes TRADING life horror stories. At the end, we'd BOTH feel better! It was mutual. And we just became closer friends the longer it went on. These days, I have a growing list of "casual" friends or acquaintances I talk with every so often, mostly when running errands on weekends. I always thank them for letting me bend their ear. Sometimes, they open up and tell me their problems as well, and I always try to to do my best listening as well. (I don't want it to be a one-way street.) I never heard the phrase "emotional labor" before, and part of this video was a bit confusing. But I think I got the gist of it.

[@justinparry1621]

Interesting take. Like most men, I've lost count of the number of times I've done this for female friends, work colleagues, or partners. Emotional labour by males doesn't seem to be acknowledged here, though, ironically.

[@luisenriquedelapena1046]

That's called being "in the friendzone". 😂😂😂

[@vincentjenkins9688]

Hmm, might explain a past missed opportunity for a better, more intimate relationship. She called me at work to tell me her cat died. I went after work and sat with her, walked around the neighborhood until she calmed down, but NEVER spoke of it again. Probably one of the top reasons why she pushed me away later (friendship wise) for the new guy in her life.

[@lunchbox6576]

I am so glad I subscribed before seeing this one. If this is the first one I saw. I would never see a second video. This is so one sided and off point it is laughable.

[@kellygreenii]

Oh please. Men are not broken women. The vast majority of men (when left to their own devices) process their emotions INTERNALLY. We engage in this “emotional labor” because women ask for it from us because THEY need it to process THEIR emotions and to feel close…. …and now you want insist that this is being done for OUR benefit?!? No. That’s like me inviting a women over, she helps me clean MY place…and then I claim afterwards that it was work I did on her behalf. Doesn’t work that way. In fact it’s an equal exchange because processing our emotions externally and verbally is “emotional labor” for men. 🙄

[@charlessmarr7107]

I am glad you see this the same way I do. I actually listened to it twice to see if there was some nuance I missed

[@kennethfharkin]

ABSOLUTELY. I cannot recall the amount of times I have been stressed and overwhelmed from countless items and I simply want to NOT talk about it and relax but NOOOOOO..... It is always with the nagging to talk which then always bites me in the ass. Hint, if I am not talking and simply want to relax in quiet THEN LET ME DO SO.

[@HealthySexualityWithKenLLC]

Excellent point!

[@MacN-gx3jv]

Agree

[@charlessmarr7107]

I look at emotional work entirely differently. When upset or emotionally triggered I handle it long before I want to share it with anyone. At that time for me it is defused. It can be shared as just another event in my life and another lesson learned. Sharing the pain and confusion and disregulation with anyone does not help the process of defusing it.

[@Apeiron242]

It's not labor, it's friendship, compassion, love, kindness, etc. Ladies, if you don't want to do it... don't. Just don't pout when no one is there for you.

[@billybarty100]

Huh? Is this bizzaro world? I think we have the opposite issue in society?

[@rv2167]

I have incurable cancer and cannot share anything or show any symptoms to my wife or I will pay for it. Every time I have had a significant treatment like radiation, surgery or chemo, I have been stabbed in the back by my wife because I am not longer the big tough guy she wanted when she married. I have no time left to find another partner and have accepted this as the reality of my marriage. I have lasted a long time and may be able to squeeze another 5 years out. I have 3 young kids so I have to do what is right for them until the end.

[@JonasConseillantLeisner]

Bro WTF?

[@michaelf.bender3718]

What?

[@JonasConseillantLeisner]

@michaelf.bender3718 These are crazy life circumstances..

[@positivelynegative9149]

Wait. The wording here is convoluted. It sounds like she's saying the person receiving the WORK should thank the work-giver. If so, that's backwards. The person receiving HELP should be the thankful one. 🤔

[@delbertbosch4715]

Agree, it went from she to he. Confusing.

[@charlessmarr7107]

When men want to talk about emotional problems that are burdening them with women it is called over sharing and will get you shut down in a heartbeat.

[@TheChromeness]

You've got this one in the completely wrong.

[@kennethfharkin]

Receive? I WISH!!!! I am overwhelmingly PROVIDING the emotional labor. When I am stressed, overworked, and otherwise in need of "support" then the only support I want is QUIET and a lack of having women complain to me... particularly when it is one more item I am going to have to fix or something I could tell them how to fix but they simply wish to make themselves feel better by making others suffer hearing their problems. Bring an issue with me when you want to have a solution or path forward, I am not your girlfriend. Sorry Caitlin V but on this one you have missed the mark by a wide margin.

[@oscarjosefsson9300]

Actually I am confused about what she is even talking about. Who is helping who in her scenario? According to a book that I've read and my experience women typically want to have a man who will listen to them complaining without offering solutions. And men obviously will want to provide solutions. So, women are a bit weird in that regard 😛

[@matthewguzman7038]

You’re really doing the “lords work” preach 🎉 You have a wonderful insight and thoughtfulness to humanity. Thank you for sharing

[@CromeDomeOmega]

Most interesting..but how does one compensate when the emotional labor isn't balanced between a man and woman? Is there perhaps a reference scale to measure each labor to? Is that scale balanced or does it differ for a man and woman?🤔

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

It depends how much each of them need & can give.

[@Aircraftsystemst]

Thank you Caitlin for this education. As a man I sometimes forget these little things. And I want to learn!👍

[@quattrocity9620]

That's interesting I never thought of this a thank you situation. I've never personally been thanked for giving emotional support to a friend (though I think I might have seen in it in movies, usually as a comedic element. Like a guy being friend-zoned). I honestly think it would feel a little strange to get thanked for doing what is the fundamentals of any friendship or partnership. But I suppose it could be one of those things that becomes a normal pleasantry that you exchange.

[@dhickey5919]

Thank you, Caitlin. As men, we see groups of women do this all the time in bookstores and coffeeshops. We also have this put on us when women need to vent, or their regular emotion-partner is elsewhere. It hadn't occurred to me exactly what was going on or frankly, why we (men) often avoid being put in these situations. Yes, being acknowledged would be a good thing as well as knowing who you will or won't have emotional labor with.

[@chrishiking8818]

Such a beautiful woman, those eyes 😍. And yes it's true we men do care but it would be nice for appreciation sometimes

[@Citizen-by9vw]

Good video. I'm a man who's benefited a lot from this throughout my life.

[@JenRauch]

I give emotional labor and support regularly to many people around me, often unthanked. Didn’t realize it until this video

[@dimsen91]

If by emotional labour you mean judgement, then sure. 😂

[@HealthySexualityWithKenLLC]

LOL! It's funny because it's true.

[@Ownz1nR34LT1M3]

I cant believe you even said this on a channel directed primarily at men. Not only are we constantly having emotional labor pushed on us, but we sont even really want any of it. We do it regardless because we care, but most men would rather do the most destructive physical labor there is than spend one second having to deal with the things you are saying we should be thankful for? You sometimes have some hot takes but this one is carolina reaper hot.

[@reallydoe2052]

Like these types of vids keep it up❤

[@oscarjosefsson9300]

Completely incomprehensible. Did something go wrong with the editing???

[@JamilLynch]

Men, this is why you don't talk to women about what's going on in you. They can't help you (and never were able to) and it sounds ever more like they don't want to. A relationship is just the fulfillment of a fantasy to many them and when you bring up complex emotions it breaks that fantasy for them. Leave them out of the loop. If you can't process it all internally, take it to your Mom, the only woman who'll love you unconditionally (I talk to my Mom all the time about stuff) or, better still, to a close-knit circle of male friends or a priesthood that can _actually_ help you and _wants_ to help you. After that, you can go to your woman, if you must. Again, they can't help you and they don't want to. This video is evidence it. Lamentable, but true. The notion that only women perform "emotional labor" in a relationship is such a sexist one it's be ridiculous if it were any less harmful.

[@Bwanar1]

Oh Man...I've been doing this for 30+ years for my wife and never gave it a second thought. You mean that's not just a part of a healthy relationship? I think most women NEED this kind of outlet, from what I here. Although I don't have a lot of personal experience. Women seem to internalize things and bring them home, where men would never give it a second thought. It helps my wife decompress, so I'm happy to do it. I guess since I'm also her best friend, it's an obligation, but I don't think of it that way.

[@alg11297]

So male poets, artists and novelists have no sympathy

[@Tony_Calvert]

This is the funniest thing ever. Women complaining about giving emotional labor to men... Wow isn't this the pot calling the kettle black. I would say likewise for this one.

[@kennethfharkin]

I know. She is usually pretty much on point but this is laughably inaccurate. I suspect it is an innate blindspot for her as a woman.

[@HealthySexualityWithKenLLC]

@@kennethfharkin, I think you're right. She is a very caring and empathetic person, but some of her opinions expose her innate blind spots.

[@user-ct3oq5ez8e]

I don’t like people stealing my time.

[@harv9624]

Thank you I love you

[@conspiratornot2215]

You're welcome, beautiful. Oh, you won't talking about you with us? LOL Lots of Love coming your way. Your spouse is a very lucky person

[@themachine8009]

So $$$$ is not enough. We had to be emotionally attach to them as well. And that’s why I fly solo

[@ericvey]

Maybe this was a headline editing error? That's the only thing I can think of, unless men are supposed to thank the woman for dumping her problems on him because he likes to fix things? No wait. We aren't supposed to do that.

[@gang4910]

I love you Cat ❤

[@user-fo7tg9ot1z]

Read Love And Respect , Great for Relationships

[@Chuck_Hooks]

So looking forward to AI robot "women" who won't take half my stuff. We're not that far away given the advances in AI

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

Please stay away from women until that time comes too.

[@MacN-gx3jv]

Do women ever say thank you? Or sorry?

[@rajmathew6220]

Yes, so much that we might have new pyramids in the US

[@Ram1rez601]

I don't bother with this type of stuff. I have female friends but still. There's no reason for me to open up to my female friends about things that they, as women, possibly wouldn't understand. I have the bros for that.

[@Fleetmenace]

If you go a step further talk about emotional dumping. Where they aren't asking for your advice or anything. They just dump everything that went wrong. It's very taxing on my psyche

[@jaysartori9032]

I'm so good at letting people vet and I aurb it all in like a huge sponge, because I'm a Empath.

[@andygardner9219]

Her and Meghan Kelly are the most beautiful women in the world.

[@themachine8009]

Nope🤮

[@JewTube001]

I've never had anyone give me anything for free. Especially from women. I don't think this a good title because the majority of men aren't getting freebies from women. Not just sex but any type of emotional therapy too. In male dating spaces we're told not to be vulnerable to women anyway, it's more like it's expected we do the emotional labor of listening to problems plus doing the majority of physical and financial labor.

[@apollo209]

I'm confused.

[@buckrodgers2303]

FREIND-ZONE!!!!!

[@jeremyfister6420]

Same thing goes for women. 🤦‍♂️

[@mrtraz]

Wow, this is a masterpiece! Pure artistry! 👌 🍑🍑🍑🍆🍆🍆

[@fun2driveniceville37]

Way off base here. My experience is 100% women wanting men to listen and be and stay in the friend zone. Not sure what kind of mangyna you are talking about and I know know of my make friends that do this either.

[@thecatsbackyard4833]

Thank you, Caitlyn V for the emotional labor of this channel.

[@dcasandman]

This is actually dumb.

[@patrickplummer1027]

🎶 "Caitlin the flawless genius, has a very sexy pose, and if you saw Her body, You would even say it glows" 🎶

[@ambakaro]

Tened cuidado de a que persona mostrais vuestros sentimientos sobretodo si eres hombre, muchas mujeres no quieren un hombre sensible, contárselo a un psicólogo o al que trabaja detrás de la barra de un bar, contárselo a alguien que no es cercano, es solo un consejo

[@Mysteri0usMem0]

nobody cares about your feelings.

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

Oh boy, Caitlin, here come the misogynists!

[@Apeiron242]

Looks like the misandrists got here first.

[@EddietheBastard]

There's a lot of men who provide emotional labour from women, and a lot of women who receive emotional labour from women, mostly us guys don't lean on or offer that to each other so much. I have several close female friends with whom I exchange emotional support.

[@HealthySexualityWithKenLLC]

From your description, it sounds like men do a lot of emotional labor for women and get no appreciation for it, either. I know I do; although I don't consider it "labor." I don't mind helping women with their problems. Also, women are the primary reason men may need help in the form of "emotional labor." I'm sorry, this is very one-sided and not very accurate.

[@kennethfharkin]

I don't consider it labor either when someone is actually looking for a solution they will move forward with. When it is a woman simply venting to me about a problem for which their IS a solution yet they are more motivated to complain than to actually DO SOMETHING about it then it is labor. That type of behavior is like sitting in a burning house and yelling at a passerby to come in and sit with you while it burns. Sorry but I find this to be very common female behavior. Men do not feel the need to talk about an issue bothering them unless it has to do with SOLVING the issue.