The tremendous growth that comes from surviving a narcissistic relationship

[@hattieanthony7876]

"Trust your own honest eye and not their lying mouth."

[@chericlark7913]

Actions not words!

[@davidburruss2417]

I'm going to remember this quote! Too many times I did not want to believe what I was seeing!

[@IYoungHuang]

Nailed 📌🔨. Thank you for sharing.

[@Art-gb5ok]

Well said.

[@AI-MusicMagic]

Wow

[@jasminej5078]

“Your child-like view of toxic people…” That one hit home for me. I realize that I have been projecting my goodness onto other people. I was naïve in believing that just because I wouldn’t do something, a narc wouldn’t do it to me. My mind had a hard time conceiving that someone who claimed to love me and wanted to marry me would intentionally gaslight, manipulate and abuse me. Now that I’ve accepted the reality, I can heal and discern peoples character better. I TRUST my intuition now. While I was with the narcissist, it’s like I had to unplug my connection with my own intuition to keep tolerating their presence. Now that I’m free, I feel like I got my soul back.

[@melindadownie6403]

Wow! You are describing my experience. Thank you for hitting that point home. I held my own self back to accommodate his inability to deal with my dreams. I was running in place so long till I was sitting down. I was connected to a wicked spirit trying to help him overcome his demons. But he never really worked on himself. He's gone now and I am so much happier.

[@shannond.5916]

You've defined an important point. Not everyone has the same goodness in them as you. I learned this lesson the hard way. Took off the rose coloured glasses.

[@lyndalaing1475]

Thank you 😊My thoughts exactly! I was also naive to believe that just because I was loyal and wouldn’t lie or cheat my partner wouldn’t either.I also had difficulty understanding how someone who professed to love me could treat me so badly.

[@LS-fe4ob]

After leaving my narc I finally got my period back after 10 months

[@D-Elaine.dead-eye]

@J K me too...for 41 years. I'm in trauma therapy 2 times a week now, for almost a year now since having to discover the truth quite traumaticly 4 years ago. His gaslighting almost inilated me, as did his infidelities and the STDs I contracted as a result. And never knowing why. Insidious gaslighting. Today I still struggle to just survive, knowing the truth of things. I wonder when I'll get to really live. Therapy feels like a life sentence. All I've ever done is struggle. I'm exhausted. Sorry for dumping.

[@Psyched.Substance]

Strength gained: The ability to see myself clearly. Even before the narcissist I could never see who I truly was, or what I could truly offer. Once she was removed from my life I could finally see that I was always too good for her. That I have more to offer than I ever realized. It was like the fog had finally lifted. It gave me a new sense of confidence and charisma.

[@jeaniharper]

3 we ZZZ

[@jacquelinegiordano432]

Yes! We are too good for them! It’s an amazing revelation.

[@kristentiveron4756]

Thank you for this information. It has changed my life. When I begin to start to ruminate, I mentally come back to the present moment. My life is good at the present moment. I’m focusing on myself, I’m doing things I enjoy. I don’t need to go to stories of the past.

[@aulNewZealand8612]

thank you so much for this incredible encouragement. I think of that song: 'I have survived! To realize that strengths have emanated from this can translate to: go forth and be a ( true) blessing, not a proverbial doormat. I feel empowered. I've been told I have enormous patience...didn't realize I suffered to achieve this!! And it is needed in my career. And after listening to this message, it makes sense to 'clear the decks' of the friends who I do not embrace me for who I am , or have treated me in ways I would not treated them. Thanks so much, Dr R. You have no idea how you have helped our family FREEDOM!!!

[@morbid.69]

Heyyy im subbed to you. Love your videos. Godspeed you

[@ABHISHEKMHT4]

The strength I got from leaving a narssict relationship - Never to trust people blindly - Identify the red flags early on in the relationship before its too late - self reflection - I became much more resilient - finding myself again I was lost in a narssict relationship - learning to let go of toxic people

[@danielkaiser8971]

Awesome points.

[@tc_is_me]

Good for you Abhishek. These are are such important lessons to learn in life.

[@mariaanalum2712]

honoring the red flags. knowing more red flags

[@ravishingtwinkle3811]

Those who leave such toxic Relationship deserve an Award

[@annasurf595]

👏

[@stefannikola]

Alone is better than toxic, nonsensical, abusive, or insane.

[@tc_is_me]

Indeed. There’s NOTHING like peace of mind and peace in your home.

[@bolero7860]

Nonsensical, definitely was my experience

[@lionsimba723]

Yes. Being single is so peaceful. Being married to a narc is like being married to a ghost. There is no reciprocity of anything. It’s all about the narc 🤬🤬

[@IAmDasani]

amen

[@rokoroo]

100% !!!!!

[@Navenanthen]

“There's a place in the soul where you've never been wounded.” Find it. Protect it.

[@vinu04jun]

One of my parents is a bipolar+ narsicissitic, I'm a survivor🤔, but now after 3 decades diagnosed with BPD and each day is a challenge..😪 Plus attracting only narsiccistic friends 🙄 into my life(allowing them to have it their way due to fear of abandonment )

[@yobrojoost9497]

@@vinu04jun I feel for you... may you find a real friend soon, one who loves and appreciates you for who you are.

[@bereal6590]

Great comment very uplifting thank you ✌️👍

[@yourturn777]

❤😢✌

[@Heqet7]

❤️

[@elrc9732]

I am my own bestfriend. And i realized i am a good bestfriend. Thank you Dr. Ramani. ❤️

[@doublelibra357]

Now that I’m out of my narcissistic relationship, I realize how envious he was of my wholeness and empathic abilities. So envious that he tried to destroy them.

[@carolv.3909]

Good for you, I am finally out once & for all this time, Radical Acceptance. He has no respect for women, I guess for some reason I thought I was different.

[@PuppP]

Everything about your comment resonates with me.

[@gennyb4055]

Completely get that one- good for you for recognizing and getting out- my ex was like that and tried to tear me down and his daughters - divorced never been freer and happier!

[@pmarkhill519]

God bless you, dear one.

[@breakthrough1019]

They are extremely envious

[@sarahodom7292]

This is what I have written down in my journal for the three biggest lessons I learned last month: 1. Just because someone has traits you can sympathize with does not mean you owe them to be their therapist. That is, if a narcissist had a difficult childhood and maybe was abused themselves, it is not my job to work them through their trauma--especially if they don't care to do so. 2. Not everyone has good intentions. There are people who do--connect with those people. Follow your intuition and let the others go. 3. Being "picked" is not something to strive for. It's nice to feel liked, but being picked by the wrong person can be a hurtful, damaging, and even traumatic experience. Aim to attract the right sort of people, not every person.

[@sll110]

I was always target by evils.. need change a lot

[@tamaraheseltine4455]

Well said.

[@jessicaraynor7605]

I need to remember number 1. I still feel like I should help my husband out and help him realize what he went through as a child at the hands of his mother. I need to learn and accept that I no longer have control of that and that is his journey to take if he wants to.

[@mungbean6693]

This is just like what I've gone through! Exactly this!

[@l.5832]

@@jessicaraynor7605 Much of their stories are exaggerated or faked because they know you are an empath. Often their victims came from abusive families so they say THEY have been abused, so the victim has this instant rapport with the narc. IT'S ALL FAKE WITH THEM!.

[@drlarrymitchell]

Once I got rid of all the toxic people in my life, there was hardly anyone left.

[@sll110]

me too

[@monetlouis9676]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tiffanycapps-jenner6158]

Yerrrrr I'm just thinking that myself 🤣

[@cynthiawebster3376]

@@sll110 Me too.

[@e4digitalmedia896]

Same here

[@naspa2790]

In relationship 38 years. He smothered who I was and built his artificial world around me. He loved me, hugged me, wanted me around on his schedule. Yep. I was in some kind of prison but didn’t know it. Gas lighting, lying, minimizing, vague insults, control…. All of it. Makes you doubt your reality. I dug my head out of the sand, and was done. So I locked him out and blocked him. Have to reprogram myself and live my own life. So I’m taking long walks, playing music, dancing, gardening. Anything to focus on just me. I’m not his robot anymore.

[@katyflame3668]

Yes. That’s what I felt. A robot.

[@sindhusarah1929]

Hie eyes were so fearful...l have withstood everything..thanks to my faith in the Lord...l took double degree in Education, and am now doing my Ph.D..after 34 yes of married life to a person whom l never knew was a narcissist until now when l started listening to Dr.Ramani..every degree l took was after an abuse that was hurled agansr me...but now l understand the patterns and l want to live life to the fullest..

[@hggtg]

​@@sindhusarah1929ME TOO ❤

[@acasiere1]

I never realized I was THIS strong

[@aubster2529]

Ditto!!! We are amazing!!

[@Sarah-mi2rv]

WORD

[@liambraithewaite6415]

The strength I got is definitely being able to read people and social situations a lot better

[@luna69_69]

I swear !

[@IamPotato_007]

Yup

[@kristyzak2622]

pleas please would you tell me how did you survived? I'm trying to find a therapist but my parents restricted me from finding one, I spent five months with a narcissist roommate 💔 in a foreign country, she turned every one against me no one believes me, when i came back to my country, i started questioning myself maybe i am a narcissist maybe I am the bad one, I doubt my reality and feel helpless 💔I dont know who am I anymore 😔😔

[@wiser1254]

Kristy Zak Keep taking advantage of the free online therapists. There are many good ones: Dr. Ramani, Lisa A. Romano, Dr, Les Cárter. Stay strong!

[@deborahfairbanks4012]

@@wiser1254 yes, there are many I also have benefitted from on line therapy!!

[@masumayasmin5515]

There was a time when I could not even read 5 pages of a book, without being distracted. I was always on edge and stressed out because of the miserable relationship I was in. Two years back, I broke off all contact with the narcissist and finally I'm back to being a voracious reader again. I prefer being alone and happy. I'm here to express my love and gratitude to Dr. Ramani and all the other survivors..

[@JesseJayAllen]

There is hope!

[@notthegoodgirl]

Beautiful.❤️ I love to read, too. Thanks for sharing and please let us know some of your favorite books!

[@masumayasmin5515]

@@notthegoodgirl Hey, thank you so much! Here are some of my favourite books. 1. The picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde 2. Little women by Louisa May Alcott 3. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier 4. It by Stephen King 5. A song of ice and fire series by George R R Martin 6. The girl with the dragon tattoo by Stieg Larsson 7. The kite runner by Khaled Hosseini 8. The social butterfly by Moni Mohsin 9. Angels and demons by Dan Brown 10. The enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim. Being a Bengali girl from India, I read a lot of Bengali books too. I would love to know which are your favourite books!

[@angiepeace4830]

I thought that I was going crazy! I didn’t know how I could read something over and over and still not process what I read.

[@masumayasmin5515]

@@angiepeace4830 I totally understand. Hope you are doing well now. My best wishes to you.

[@nicklo5654]

Please do more of these type of positive reinforcement for narcissistic abuse survivors! This truly makes me feel more empowered and happy. You're a life savior, and an amazing, intelligent woman that I and the rest of this community love! Thank you for everything. Your teachings will will stick with me for the rest of my life 🙂

[@taleyag8800]

I echo this statement. This video made me feel so good. I also want more videos about surviving and thriving

[@saymans13]

And I double that. This video made me feel in a more powerful mood. Keep them coming, please 🙏🏻

[@sharlenemeakinsbsnrn3893]

Great Closure to the Series. Through the series I've come to understand that I was married to a covert narcissistic. I told him that I didn't think I could handle another 30 years of trying to make him happy. He responded "Well, so do you want a divorce?" For the first time of hearing this statement for years whenever I brought up something I wasn't happy about, I said YES!. You could have heard a pin drop. A friend told me last night that the word "divorce" was his form of a handcuff to keep me shackled because he didn't think I would ever agree to a divorce. I moved out yesterday! Thank you Dr. Ramani for your informative youtube videos.

[@taom9004]

You called his bluff.

[@lionsimba723]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@xxxvcvv]

Good on you! I did that too. Best day next to that was when the judge slammed the gavel down! And stamped the divorce papers! Hallelujah for freedom! Big hugs to you hun. We can do this💎

[@theresabrown1440]

Stay strong and true to YOU!

[@Coach2Gr8ness]

Congratulations! Well done. That was a HUGE step. Take time to recover.

[@libbydavis2554]

I can spot them a mile away now. I didn't used to know they even existed "before."

[@annekerotterdam7499]

Same here! If you 'know' the red flags, and know why you were supply to them you can listen to your intuition (again)

[@eryn5826]

I didn't either now I struggle with what to do with them when they come towards me because even though I spot them from a mile away they spot me too and it's like White on rice

[@libbydavis2554]

@@eryn5826 I hope you can develop really strong boundaries. You owe them nothing. NOTHING. And I hope you can make it clear to any narcissists that they will find no welcome land should they try to come near you.

[@libbydavis2554]

@@eryn5826 Oh my heavens, I just saw that an hour ago Dr Ramani posted about setting boundaries with narcissists and why it's so hard. I hope it'll help! Sending love.

[@eryn5826]

@@libbydavis2554 Thank you for that. sometimes the people pleasing side of me just gets the best of me.

[@Nitya-r86]

Cheers to all the survivors who refused to break, who rose from their ashes time and time again! You guys are all some of the most badass people on the planet. So am I. It is not easy to rise and shine after all the mindf**kery that a narcissist puts you through. But we are striving to, and that's commendable.

[@cupppasoup]

AMEN

[@mandolaa]

🙏

[@harmonyhope1709]

❤️❤️❤️

[@OrangeMoonGoddess]

Here, here! I see nothing but truth in this statement! We are way stronger than we ever knew! 🧡🙌🏿🙏🏿

[@AlexaCBrown]

Yes💝💝💝💝💝!!!!!

[@anelbasic8872]

I survived a covert narcissist, did a 18 year stretch.....😅 I recognized early on that these behaviors were bizarre , just didn't know it was an actual personality disorder. I knew I wasn't crazy. Her behavior checked all the boxes. While researching, it struck me like a javelin.....finally, my situation was scientifically explained. Since the divorce last year, I've put over 6000 miles on my bicycle and ran over 450 miles. Life is good once the cosmic pressure dissipates. 😌

[@cinemaocd1752]

I love "did a 18 year stretch" ...the idea of the relationship being a prison sentence that you've done. We should all have some tattoos or something. :D

[@keepcool1604]

All the best for new journey : )

[@hulahandskc]

Yes, simply now knowing that ‘I wasn’t the crazy one’ is freeing.

[@StPatrickApollos]

Idk…. There’s a nuance in your writing….

[@rabbihossain2191]

The benefits are: 1) Increased Patience 2) Increased Resilience 3) You suffer less 4) Willing to cut out toxic people with ease 5) No Longer be an enabler 6) Much more comfortable being alone 7) Learn to take ownership of yourself

[@wishingonthemoon1]

8) the ability to communicate clearly-because we’re so used to communicating as perfectly as possible so they can’t manipulate us

[@tataniaalba9601]

Number 6 for sure 👍

[@gloriabrown9078]

You are so right! Especially about the point of being comfortable about being alone.

[@heatherhealy315]

Yes! That’s all true for me too! Spot on! Congrats to you. 😎

[@Winterreise189]

I've seen a few comments on increased patience. I used to be a very patient man but ever since I split from my narc ex, my patience is non-existent. Am I the only one?

[@TheMakeupFascination]

Biggest thing I've learned since walking out of my marriage with a narcissist is absolutely trusting myself to be my own defender, advocate, and friend.

[@RIKO77076]

I experienced a sense of relief, with all the demands gone I feel peace, tranquility, a sense of well being by being free from anxiety and high blood pressure as they completely disappeared. Having time to pay attention to myself and body in much healthier ways, I lost some extra weight just by listening to what my body needs that I never had a chance to pay attention to as I was too busy trying to hold on to my sanity. I don’t feel lonely, in fact I enjoy the extra time I can invest to learn more and grow to become a healthier version of me with healthy boundaries who is clear and aware about where she ends and others begin while feeling at peace ; and for the first time I am not afraid to face life’s challenges alone.

[@TheMakeupFascination]

@@RIKO77076 What a beautiful message, and sentiment. Thank you so much for sharing that. I can relate to this 100%

[@ProfFibi]

Yesss

[@goldalevin869]

Bravo!

[@AnetaPfajferTree]

Yes. My own best friend 👍💐

[@shannonobrien2572]

The strength I gained from surviving narcissistic abuse is that I am able now to teach my children to avoid toxic people and create healthy boundaries.

[@denischernov7732]

But one of my chikldren become a tixic person bexayse of. her narc mother. Yet now i can tell the narcs and others...

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

Shannon O'Brien same, yes!!!

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

Denis Chernov this is the tragedy of raising kids with a narc

[@SkibidiMomm]

Denis I'm sorry. I still pray for my ex narc and will pray for your daughter. If anyone has tips for teaching even young kids I'd love to hear them. I have you g ones and I want them to learn about this NOW to protect themselves in life and from their narc father down the road. Thanks all!

[@Nicole-si3xc]

That's beautiful 💜Makes me think I went through so much so my children won't have too

[@janebond007]

After 35 years of marriage and on my 58th birthday, I finally got the courage to pack a suitcase and walk out the front door. ( I had just been told that I was getting older but his girlfriends were getting younger). I have turned my life around, I managed to reestablish myself and I like who I am. It was tough but this feeling of contentment and happiness is unbelievable. Thanks for the amazing videos.

[@glorialist9943]

I have been married 35 years too and currently in the beginning stage of identifying the narcissist relationship I’m in. It’s been extremely difficult and felt ashamed for not understanding the relationship for what it is and has been very difficult to go through. Thank you for sharing your comment I didn’t know there was someone else who could be married for so long and come out of a narcissist relationship and on to a better and healthier life. This gives me courage to move forward.

[@janebond007]

@@glorialist9943 life only gets better. Be kind to yourself. Good luck with everything you do.

[@aleksandramakuch5133]

@@glorialist9943 hi Gloria, I did 30 years with a covert narcissist. Only in the last couple years did I realize who he was divorced now over a year. Their control is frequently a punishment. Silent days, many at a time, walking on eggshells, gaslighting, and today, his masteryll mindFuckery- turning our young adult boys into flying monkeys and turning them against me. He could no longer control me because I divorced him, so he did it through manipulating the boys and now they don’t talk to me. They really are masters of manipulation and have zero empathy, are evil. But I finally came out of severe depression, mainly because of what happened with the boys, I do hope one day they start thinking for themselves, and will remember all the love and compassion from their mother, if God forbid, they turn into a narc like their dad, I will have to accept that too. For now I am living a brand new life at 50. There is a deep sense of peace once you leave them, lots of healing to be done, and I would have never believed a year ago, that you can heal from this atrocious experience, but I’m getting better and better every day☺️

[@CanadianBear47]

u talking about saying enough is awesome. 35 years i feel you not married and u are so not alone

[@lisasomes3504]

OMG you lived my life. 32 years married, 36 together. I’m in the middle of the divorce process and I’m turning my life and myself around. My confidence is off the charts and I’m so much happier and better. I am looking forward to my future 😊. Thanks for sharing and letting me see I am not alone.

[@shahadal-ward2557]

Things I learned/ became after I ended a relationship with a narcissist: 1- Immediate sense of relief right after the relationship ended. It was like “Thank goodness I don’t have to deal with this drama anymore” 2-The feeling that I can accomplish anything! Which is exactly what happened. I pursued my dream job which I currently have. I left my country and started living alone. 3- I became A LOT better at setting boundaries with everyone including loved ones like family and friends. Saying “NO” was a lot easier. 4- Instead of becoming a magnet to narcissists, I became an identifier of narcissistic behaviour, and avoided it at all cost 5- I became more cognizant of my own behaviour. I started asking myself questions like “would it sound passive/aggressive if I say this”, “When I apologized for this, did I do it the right way”, “am I holding myself accountable for my own BS”... etc

[@FreedomofSpeech865]

Love it, getting there too

[@urkudeborahmay9705]

1) Yep. 2) Yep. 3) Yep. 4) Yep. Exactly!

[@MsWing-ij9nb]

Yes to all this- still working on #4; learning to be honest while maintaining and respecting boundaries for others. And listening to and honoring how I really feel- taking chances to say yes or no; knowing no matter the outcomes, I can handle whatever happens. I don’t want to let myself be drained by emotional vampires/toxic ppl. But also want to open myself to possibilities in the realm of creative opportunities and relationships. Like Doc said, patience is key and I’m grateful I have it so I allow myself the time and space I need to process information of various social situations and my emotions. I finally give myself that patience I needed growing up to just learn, be heard and develop- in contrast to having been constantly berated, talked over, ignored, shamed, rushed and confused by my narc mom.

[@wk1810]

#5 is amazingly freeing and comforting, as well as strengthening integrity and self-respect. Thank you for sharing that 💗💐

[@arteisiacalvin6286]

Me too!!! All of these. So so happy for you hun, keep growing💗

[@marquitawatkins280]

Your series helped me realize that my ex is a covert narcissist suffering from combat related PTSD and childhood PTSD. He broke up with me and I moved out 1 month ago. As soon as I moved out, the migraines and GI issues I was experiencing ceased, I sleep a full continuous 8 hours nightly, and I can actually string a coherent thought together. I am rediscovering who I am while sitting in my mumu drinking wine singing as loud as I want. God made me built to last.

[@hotbandgurl]

Marquita, thank you for posting this! The confusion, illness I am dealing with - Finally owning my desperation to ‘fix’ my boyfriend because he asked me to help him. Ret military boyfriend with a TBI and PTSD -

[@marquitawatkins280]

@@hotbandgurl If Jesus couldn’t fix him, you can’t. Your job has and always be in a relationship (w/ someone with trauma) is to be supportive. Anything else outside of that requires another degree.

[@marquitawatkins280]

@Laura McGregor I now drink Lily of the Desert Stomach Healing Aloe daily with Vital Proteins Beauty Greens OR I eat yogurt. I also have gotten into mindfulness techniques, affirmations practice, and yoga. My stomach has healed TREMENDOUSLY. I still have some issues from time to time but nothing a good salad and some probiotics can’t help.

[@Humble_Soul7]

Beautiful and righteous story

[@ld3531]

I’m going through a divorce now, and have had some intense GI issues for the past couple years with all of this. He’s security administration at the local hospital and has been able to essentially have me blacklisted from medical care. I’m healthier than I was, through homeopathic means, as well. I think God knew I needed to see your comment. It’s definitely encouraging. Thank you :)

[@powermovement247]

Dr Ramani. I asked God for clarity at the beginning of the year concerning my 4 decade marriage. Your series has been the answer to my prayer. I am now ready to go forward into 2021 armed with the knowledge, strength and courage that I need to move forward. Thank you a thousand times beautiful lady. You have changed my life and so many others. Peace and profound blessings to you.

[@Anna-vi7ky]

Thankfully we don’t have to be manipulated by their “posts” on social media. We can hear God on our own.

[@poolbath8281]

Reading this made me happy. God bless you & good for you

[@marinaribeiro5781]

We are forging ahead in prayer🙏

[@SuperAmericaIX]

Alexis, I too found myself talking to God, in a church, asking for wisdom. I was made to always feel never good enough, never sharp enough because I wasn’t able to read the narc’s mind. I can truly say I received my wisdom and I am thankful (though brutal) for this experience.

[@marinaribeiro5781]

@@SuperAmericaIX me also it's a horrible feeling but listening to utube motivational words of GOD and reading the bible it helped so much day by day I got stronger my self esteem go a lil better I felt braver and I got wisdom how to deal with the individual

[@ygomez4883]

"Survivng narcissistic abuse is a superpower!" Oh yes, it is! We have such inner strength, it's almost unbelievable. 💪🏻

[@wiser1254]

Seven years with an overt narcissist and 40 years with a covert narcissist. I have been out for three years, doing extensive therapy, reading and healing. I am 74 and discovering my authentic self and the reality of my issues with codependency. I have never felt more free or stronger in my life! But this comes with a stark reality of my relationship with others in my life, including friends and family. Establishing my boundaries has brought a certain amount of loneliness, but it also brings me joy knowing that these are my choices and make my life emotionally safer. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for your extremely helpful videos!

[@joycej928]

@Imogen I applaud you as the culture, society you were brought up in (being 74) so encouraged the woman giving it all over to the man, pleasing the man, "obeying" the man. The fact that you never ultimately lost your true self is a testament to your great courage in breaking free. No one can ever make you feel small again! Bravo!

[@fredhampton5617]

I'm almost 70 and have the same back story as you and so many others. I too, struggle with the loneliness, but when I examine the physical scars, it's fine. Be strong and may God continue to bless you.

[@faithsandstrom3883]

Wow 👏, I'm almost 60....married 2 overt narcissist and dated a covert narcissist for 9 years. The covert was the worst!!!!! Find a way to socialize n make friends. Senior centers....art classes....target shooting lol. Start working out....god bless you. We are strong. Don't be scared if you get a lunch date lol. My favorite saying now is next, we know the signs Do something new!

[@krokodillemy]

❤

[@Thecoffeehunter1213]

Go on 👏👏 doing it like a boss .

[@kc8639]

In a dream I found someone huddled in a corner crying and scared to death. I bent down and noticed it was a young child with his head buried into his knees. I reached my hand out to lift up his chin and to my surprise it was my face. I picked up this child, smiled at him and said, "nobody will ever hurt you again as your guardian angel is here." Find that child in you again - pick them up and hold them high.

[@marianmcevoy4943]

I had a lot of work to do on my self one of the most important things was healing and loving my inner child

[@paulettebrown6382]

This made me cry happy tears. To realize someone will always look after me........it's me🙂

[@asmitanayak9654]

Relatable 👍😇

[@goldalevin869]

Yes!

[@onlyluvisreal6691]

I changed my inner voice to always speak to me as you were talking to a child. Does that make sense?

[@beth1533]

A “ connoisseur of people”.....😁 Yes indeed. Sending love to all survivors.

[@booradley0x0]

Right back at you!

[@marinaribeiro5781]

Thank you 🙂right back at you

[@djdebssuperlawyersjusticeu9855]

SENDING LIGHT, LOVE 😘😇😇🏳️‍🌈😍♥️10/22/2020😍 HUGS AND KISSES FROM YOUR FAVORITE SEXY ASS DJ'S, BAD ASS BOSS BABES HERE SENDING LOVE 😘😇💋 AND HEALING THRU MUSIC AND FOREVER JUSTICE 🙏🙏🙏🙏✍️✍️💪🏙️ ANGELS EXPOSING PREDATORS NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS CHILD ABUSERS ANIMAL ABUSERS ⚖️ DISABLED WOMEN ABUSERS ⚖️⚖️♀️♀️♀️♀️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🔥🔥😍😍😘 SUPER-POWERED....XOXO ⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️ SUPERLAWYERS AND LEGAL ADVOCATES HERE AND SUPERMODELS TOO🏳️‍🌈⚔️⚜️♀️♀️🎵😇🤗🤗🔥🎧😇🎧🎧🦄🎧🦄🎧🎼🔥🤗😇😇

[@djdebssuperlawyersjusticeu9855]

@@marinaribeiro5781 Ditto

[@djdebssuperlawyersjusticeu9855]

DJ'S VJS BLOGGERS V-LOGGERS PODCASTERS AND KZbinRS AND FOREVER JUSTICE ANGELS 🙏✍️🛡️🛡️🛡️🛡️📜🌃🌆🐾🐾🌄🐾🐾 EXPOSING PREDATORS NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS CHILD ABUSERS ANIMAL ABUSERS WIFE ABUSERS ELDERLY ABUSERS DISABLED WOMEN ABUSERS ⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️

[@ltsandes]

"while being alone may not feel good, it certainly beats the hell out of putting up with the nonsense and abuse of a narcissistic relationship" I laughed my ass out of this one. I guess I start to heal :)

[@gslice8988]

You are loved Dr. Ramani ❤

[@Kya_kaye]

Things I learned from surviving a narcissistic relationship: I trust my intuition. I don’t gaslight my feelings, I feel how I feel and I sit with my feelings and process them instead of pushing my feelings down. The gift of discernment, I get a tingle down my back whenever I feel someone being dishonest with me. I know what type of questions to ask dates and what kind of red flags to look out for. Most importantly, I am no longer afraid of the unknown.

[@rarasirius3795]

I love this

[@chrisbaldwin1925]

for real

[@millenialgirl3619]

Please can you enlight us with what kind of questions ask to a new dates?

[@serenasheane5896]

I definitely trust my intuition more now and have noticed a major "spring clean" in my friendship groups since I took that first step. For those of you that are struggling out there, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Leaving a toxic relationship will probably be one of the best things you'll do in your life😊

[@shanellem6310]

Yessss! This is exactly how I feel too. I have accepted my abuse for what it was. He was evil AF. However, this was a learning experience for me. I would have never learned what narcissism was, that I was raised by a narcissist, or that I had weak boundaries. I now can spot a narcissist a mile away, I have the patience to recognize their manipulations & avoid their traps, I have establish firm boundaries, I no longer settle & am willing to accept the best man for me no matter how long it takes. I am very discerning and refuse to engage with toxic people, I recognize my values, trust my instincts, & value my peace. More importantly, I am creating a better relationship with my creator & teaching my kids all of the lessons I have learned so that they can be aware of narcissists & toxic people. He still tries to get access to me, I ignore him as he is no longer worth my time & attention.

[@izawaniek2568]

There is nothing more comforting than looking in the eyes of another narcisistic abuse surviver and finding camaraderie in the silence and peace that somebody else gets it what we have been through ! Thank you.

[@wendyhannan2454]

This women is totally amazing, I’m hanging on to every word, she knows her stuff. Thank you to the amazing Dr Ramani .

[@alyserothenberg7777]

I like this part too

[@regenawilliams9629]

I can't believe I am making it through this on the back end and there are other survivors standing with me. I could cry!

[@wendyhannan2454]

Stay turned guys , the more we listen and learn the healthier and happier we’ll become.❤️

[@doneyd1824]

Narcissistic abuse survivor peer mentoring… I love it 💪👏👏👏

[@sindiswamoolman5505]

I’m a living and breathing example of a narcissist survivor who kicks butts. I am so strong and grown so much emotionally and career-wise. I sometimes thank the abuse for it. But I thank these lectures more for emotional and mental strength I have. I am self aware and no longer take things personally. I am able to assess where the problem lies.

[@NS-uq9st]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@bertzerker747]

Whoa, a boast of strength,,, 🤭 💙🙏

[@MazBringsby]

Wathinta uSindiswa wathinta imbokodo !!!

[@sindiswamoolman5505]

MazBringsby Ewe... exactly.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

RB, I assume you meant boost

[@saltlightandjoyministries4138]

I love being alone. I'm 5 months out of living with a narcissist whom I married years ago. I am sleeping better, the nightmares have stopped, and I'm even breathing easier. I also love sleeping alone since I am safe now!

[@randallcauley9484]

the nightmares and disturbed sleep. the waking up like i'm surfacing for air. don't miss that

[@KakashiHatake-ox5fh]

I feel so happy for you!🌷✨

[@KakashiHatake-ox5fh]

I feel so happy for you!🌷✨

[@kajalnanda5806]

How did you heal

[@saltlightandjoyministries4138]

@@kajalnanda5806 by watching videos from Dr. Ramani and Dr. Carter, a lot of prayer, and having trusted friends who were there for me.

[@ladasiahjackson4206]

I put myself out there more. I stayed in the house with my narc for 13 years. Now that I am free, I'm willing to travel more (with a mask), I have two jobs and I'm back in school. This is the happiest I have been in my life.

[@martyvirtue4051]

Why the mask? They don’t work!

[@monetlouis9676]

I can relate

[@kieshagaskins7958]

Ladasiah, same! I was with the narc for 12 yrs. I left 7/24/2020. I have traveled more in these last few months than I have in years!!!!! I'm also planning to return to school for my graduate degree in June. Getting out of that relationship was thee best thing I've ever done for myself and for my children.

[@ladasiahjackson4206]

@@kieshagaskins7958 I'm in grad school myself now and I just went to the casino for the first time in my life. Life is good without that narc ❤👍🤗

[@egresham02]

I feel you Ladasiah. I'm in the process of leaving my narcissistic ex-boyfriend after 14 years and reclaiming my life. I'm in the process of getting my Master's degree and will hopefully complete it in fall. It feels so good to reclaim myself worth.

[@juliedevine8638]

“Don’t let someone who thinks so little of you decide your worth”. I let him be my judge and jury for 27 years. I left a year ago. Cannot even describe the feeling of getting to decide my own life and live it without fear.

[@veronicabrannigan6594]

Exactly how it was for me too. I let him be my judge and jury too.... 6 months down the road and still very shaky on the road and coming to terms with the guilt of putting him out, but couldn't take anymore abuse. He wants divorce, house sold etc, and starting over again at 64 is scary, but nobody judging me or screaming at me only my own unhealed thoughts which I am working on xxxx

[@FranklinFernandezfdf]

Yes! Leaving is worth all the peace it gives, no matter how much material stuff you lose getting there! I’m 3 years into it and still think about the “drug”. I got used to it and thought it was normal! So glad to be “bored” and not be responding to everything the narcissist was driving my way!!

[@ashleyescamilla6535]

@@veronicabrannigan6594 you’re a wonderful person and I’m rooting for you!!!

[@albertomendeschumaceiro8404]

I was so constantly worried when she was around , anything I said would trigger an insulting episode and she was the type that would be flyrtatious and seduce young man in front of me when she would go on those Satanic spells of abuse verbally she would grab some clothing and say to me im going to screw some real man and dissapear for days and weeks and yes she was extremely unfaithfull

[@celestejones6315]

Wow... Five years with mine felt like a lifetime, and yet at 28 years old, your experience was literally my entire lifetime... I'm glad you not only pulled through but also decided enough was enough and had the awareness and courage to leave. I read story after story of people who have been in narcissistic relationships for decades and only continue to live out the sunk cost fallacy, and it's heartbreaking. I hope in the year since you've commented here that things have been even better for you since and that you haven't looked back and have gotten to be yourself to the fullest extent ever since leaving. ❤️

[@elmienkruger9320]

A strength I've gained is that I honestly don't care what other people think of me anymore. If the narc wants to spread lies about me...I couldn't care less if people believe it or not.

[@Miki-23]

This is exactly what I’m going through now too. Trying to let go of the need to be perfect in that persons eyes. Sad thing is even if I fit the mold they forced me into, they’d still spread lies. It’s just who they are. Power to you🙏🏼

[@chapter9363]

Exactly how I feel

[@eg7647]

How did you get to this point? My narc lies to other family members and I feel the need to explain myself or if I don't explain myself I feel terrible that someone might think what she said is true. Thanks in advance for helping.

[@elmienkruger9320]

@@eg7647 I don't know. I've tried to be good enough, but after listening to dr. Ramani's videos, I realised even my best will never be good enough. An innocent comment to the narc's friend led the narc to go ballistic and a shame rage incident with me. After this she was spreading lies about me to siblings and it was then when there was a mind shift and I just decided that I don't care what other people think of me anymore. I was done trying to prove the narc wrong. It really is so freeing, not just with the narc relationship... I hope and pray you'll get to this point as well. You are good and strong enough.

[@MarikaTheEmpress]

@Elmien EXACTLY

[@teresafrancis8289]

I’m dating myself! Buying myself flowers, going on trips, reminding myself of God’s great love for me. I am not responsible for my stbx. Praise the Lord from whom all blessings flow!

[@kajalnanda5806]

Are you healed

[@oliviaSusan1230]

After my long narcissistic relationship was finally over, I found that my former need to defend myself or explain myself to others disappeared. I had stopped defending myself against the narcissist’s illogical and hurtful accusations, and it carried over into my interactions with others. It’s truly wonderful- so much more peace.

[@annettedillon3233]

Yes…such a relief to not have people around me who make me defend myself

[@shelleybamford4523]

It is illogical, makes me wonder why others are gullible enough to believe him.

[@annag467]

THIS RIGHT HERE. Narc shit heads will reject your legitimate defenses and explanation, reliably. Only you need to remember that you are innocent, you couldnt ever be responsible for THEIR shit no matter how long you spent trying to. Good skill

[@unmutewithnonhli]

That's great. Narcissist make us to really explain ourselves unnecessary just to make them feel good.

[@nazleyvanblerk1703]

I never enjoyed being alone but since my suffering i can't get enough of being alone

[@MsKarlitau]

Me too

[@jct4611]

Me as well….🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@nancyw3086]

That is awesome

[@jamessutton9874]

Me also

[@Lailat854]

Yes! Me too

[@Elite-advantageNet]

Since leaving and cutting off all communication with my 2 narc parents and sister, I have 4 things. 1. Being able to laugh at their bullshit attempts to abuse me. 2. I'm totally comfortable being alone (as long as I can concentrate on something other than replaying the abuse in my head.) 3. I can finally (almost) sleep through the night without the nightmares that have plagued me for decades. 4. I have ceased being so hyper-vigilant and scared about strange noises. I feel much safer.

[@annettedillon3233]

Yes, hyper vigilance is exhausting….I’m very security conscious now, but thats good in someways in todays environment.

[@lynnbrown4364]

My gifts of surviving generational narcissism: gratitude; deeper love and appreciation of Self; deeper connection to the Divine; knowledge that although the narcissist showed me the devil, I know it has NO POWER OVER ME!

[@franceshaggitt3104]

When do you feel stronger

[@dimpleshah1]

Wow......i resonate with the connection with the divine and that devil has no power

[@audw82]

Amen!

[@danakornachuk8773]

Amen

[@mami-e2q]

our power resides in God. So the devil will never conquer our souls.

[@kknumber20]

In a weird way, realizing that someone was jealous of me, someone I reassured day in and day out was talented and worthy, to have them be so jealous of me made me accept that I am also talented and worthy, so talented and worthy that its threatening. Being devalued conversely made me see my true value without the humble filter of self diminishment. It's not an act of violence to shine and it's not an act of kindness to hide.

[@cassandrahelms1895]

Wow this is INCREDIBLE! Thank you for this comment!!!!

[@kimberlysinspiration256]

I love your comment, your last sentence is powerful, thank you 🙏❤️

[@TheNicolemulamba]

Kknumber20 “It’s not an act of violence to shine and it’s not an act of kindness to hide” what a statement. That realization is truly empowering and was stated so well. Thank you for that.

[@faridamohamed1055]

That's exactly how I feel. You put it perfectly

[@marilynbrowman4272]

Thats me. Totally. I am strong now.

[@caeylin]

I learned my true self-worth after I saw the narcissist for what he was. I attracted the narcissist bc of my low-self worth. But when I finally broke up with him, I saw the games and lies for what they were, manipulation to keep me small. Someone once said, Narcissists masquerade as soul mates. A narcissist is NEVER a soul mate. Someone who truly loves me would never treat me so badly, try to control me or take me for granted. I am A much stronger person, no Longer co-dependent and thriving and happy on my own. Thanks Doc! It’s been a heck of a journey.

[@MrsOctober-kc5de]

Caeylin Ace 💯

[@MrsOctober-kc5de]

Loving myself more than ever💯

[@BrendaPhillipsteacher]

Interesting that you refer to soul mates. WOW. My narcissistic almost boyfriend (who refused to be called a bf even tho we were already having sex, ha) said, "Maybe we are soul mates" with a flirty smile. That was before he ghosted me for TWO MONTHS. Of course, after listening to Dr. Ramani, I ended it, thanking God I hadn't wasted any more of my time on that relationship!

[@maritootles5592]

I’m so happy and proud of you and me! It was a roller coaster of a breakup. But I’m now living in my own apartment, have a full time job with benefits. I’m now independent and making new friends!

[@pattimarks3669]

6 wks into my escape - im learning just how much strength i truly have!!

[@bonnielynn-sherow1736]

I left a narc after 15 years. The best antidote was taking back my power by going to grad school and realizing that I had all the tools, skills and talents needed to live on my own terms. It was affirming and confidence building to be respected by others in tangible ways. That was almost 30 years ago. I got my PhD, remarried a fantastic man who respected me and enjoyed a long and productive career. I have never regretted my decision to believe in myself and walk out that door.

[@alsuarez9932]

Bonnie...I stood by my husband for 14 years, 2 masters degrees, and a phd....what did i get out of it? Well, im just getting to finish my master's degree...but it sucks how i pegged soooo much of my future to his own success...he's leaving with everything...and i left off with very little to show for this time...I get mad at myself so much!

[@alessandra1374]

This gave me a lot of hope. Thank you.

[@kristindavis7965]

Thank you for that. I’m coming in 15 years now and needed to hear that.

[@JDDMRS]

After 50 years of relationship and 45 years of marriage, I have taken my life back!!!! I'm able to enjoy my own company, while excepting it's lonely, but better than being abused. I'm doing things now that I've wanted to do for years!!!! I learned how to grow up and enjoy it. I'm proud of the courage it took for to say enough is enough.

[@longislandny696]

I can now sleep with both eyes closed instead of being on edge when ever he was home. I packed my things when he went to work one day and moved into my own place.I feel so much more relaxed & happy without the narcissist in my life trying to break me.Being alone Never felt better.Good luck to everyone out there.

[@Livelife.HopeAlways]

This make me realise I was never allowed to sleep and may just be why I took that back after I left.

[@iheartcryptoverse2857]

Congratulations on breaking free, Amina. Celebrate your life and enjoy every moment you can.

[@teodorailieva2251]

So true!

[@MsShellectable]

Good on you! It took so much bravery to do what you did. Congratulations on freeing yourself, and inspiring us to do the same.

[@marthawerbiansky3353]

I hope your doing well…..keep it up! ✌️❤️

[@borgward9569]

Remove the fake friends. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou. Don't enable any abusers. Identify and eliminate. Choose your battles wisely. We need not react to every opinion, every comment, or every situation. Kick the drama and keep going ahead. "Don't wrestle in the mud with a pig. You'll get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it." - George Bernard Shaw You wouldn't do anything bad to yourself, would you? Like smoking, excessive drink etc. Why subject yourself to something bad like a narcissist?

[@valeriekruczek1597]

AMAZING quote!!!

[@danielcook-z6q]

So true

[@danielcook-z6q]

Fantastic points

[@annehart1297]

That it wasn't my fault - it brought such relief and tears

[@naomilaboo]

Same!

[@dermurt]

and you were good enough the entire time, and there was no need to go above and beyond to somehow prove that fact

[@noeljohnson9327]

ME TOO!!!!! PLEASE IGNORE THAT HATER…….OBVIOUSLY HAS NO CLUE WHAT 33 YEARS OF BEING TORTURED BY A NARCISSIST!!! OR HAS YET TO SEE THE LIGHT!!!🌞 YOU GO ANNE!!!❤️❤️❤️😁🤩🙋‍♀️

[@az_asaf]

Same here ❤️️

[@lyciamessersmith5348]

I'm so happy for your breakthrough!! I got mine when watching Robin Williams in "Good Will Hunting". We do what we see, we do what we know (which is really what we see). Keep going!!

[@lauraarteyterapiaintegrati9717]

After surviving a narcisistic relationship I learnt to sing and now I am a singing and drumming circle leader

[@noslenarual]

I sing around the house. I do what I want. I laugh more. I’m less stressed even though my future is completely unsure, I believe in myself and I have hope for the future. I feel free.

[@abigaelkiptoo230]

This really hit home. Same sis

[@lM-wp4sn]

The inner peace that is a daily reminder that having freedom to live your life without anyone controlling you is the best gift on this earth 🙏

[@gwendolyn9578]

Amen!! 🙌🏼

[@courtneybrooke1379]

I've never watched anything that has sincerely touched my soul and validated EVERYTHING I'm feeling recovering from narcissistic abuse in my life. Thank you 😭😭😭

[@daniellemichayla]

I agree. This one felt so good🥰

[@HL-hr4ox]

Congrats, Courtney!!!! All the power to you!

[@shellystemple8584]

I couldn’t agree more!

[@nadiaahdout]

I agree totally

[@vallang4832]

I totally agree.

[@dorothyholland3093]

I learned how to love myself. That sounds so simple but it's huge. I am so proud of myself for surviving not just the abuse but also all the hardships that came after adjusting and learning how to live my new life. I feel such peace now.

[@kismet0819]

I went no contact with my family nearly three years ago. My daughter and I were living with my parents, and we left with what I could fit in a small overnight suitcase. We were homeless for about six months after that, but in that time I learned a new skill that led to a life sustaining career, found out who my true friends and family are, found like minded peers through activism, and have been able to establish a fully functioning COMFORTABLE home for my daughter and I. This pandemic has been rough for both of us, so do still have depressive episodes, but we are safe and stable. I was able to muster the confidence to ask for the right kind of help that I needed, and now I work within my community to help others do the same.

[@joycej928]

So much courage and strength!

[@floxendoodle942]

Wow! Now that’s true grit! An amazing success story indeed! ❤️❤️❤️

[@tarantiae]

♥️

[@ip2489]

You're an amazing lady well done you

[@moover123]

I'm on the edge of either going crazy or growing strong. It's a very brutal struggle.

[@luigi535]

You will end up stronger than you ever realized.

[@NS-uq9st]

Stay strong... You will soon find your way. In January I was sucidal nd today I feel and experience everything described in this video. We all are here for you. Don't give up

[@drmtokes]

TOTALLY resonate with this!

[@urkudeborahmay9705]

That painful confusion is confirmation that you were in a narcissistic relationship. You may waver between the two states for a long time until you finally are able to see clearly that you have no responsibility for the narcissist's behavrio.

[@carnivan554]

It is and it feels like you are not going anywhere and so exhausted. But soon we will be out. It's a real struggle.

[@mamalex5]

This series was a serious eye-opener. Yeah, it's kinda depressing, but it was brutally honest and vulnerable. And it made a lot of things fall into place.

[@valeriegonzalez6629]

Some of the impacts of my own narcissistic relationship had been recognized by me but not the total big picture. Seeing all the component parts from a single position of personal clarity is allowing me to exit the bad spell cast.on me. Hooray!

[@karenburch-shaver4306]

That “falling into place” thing happened to me too. I walked around for weeks scratching my head asking myself how I didn’t know all this long ago. It is sad. I feel sorry for the n. Another thing I learned from all this is that I always thought I should find a way to love and tolerate all people. Nope, I don’t have to. And I can still be a kind humanitarian.

[@kenitcimm3467]

Narcissistic abuse is no joke....particularly being where a person offers their insights, and best of themselves....tobe stepped on by a sadistic parent. Still in therapy....there is a dim light ahead....but the road is so long. Trusting in the process of rebuilding can be very hard as well. The topic being covered by Dr Ramanni has been fantastic....and an extremely helpful assistance as a resource Thx again Dr R!!

[@karenburch-shaver4306]

kenit cimm I so get that, I didn’t even know I was raised by an N until this series by Dr. Ramani. And then married one! What a relief these videos have been. I can actually feel calm now, and a new kind of joy. And the freedom to enjoy life! Life will never be the same. Thank goodness! Before I learned of the n and there ways I had the fortune to find Dr. Burns book, Feeling Good. He’s one of the forefathers of cognitive therapy. Reading Feeling Good was a right turn for my life as it enables me to undo all the garbage that i collect from others assumptions of me but better yet, my own assumptions of myself. Changed my life and is still present in my mind when a negative force attempts to turn my thoughts against myself or others in a negative fashion. I wish every therapist required every patient beaten up by the n to read Feeling Good. Please consider it. The success rate against depression for those who read it is very high. Sending big hugs

[@kenitcimm3467]

@@karenburch-shaver4306 gee....thankyou Karen. I'm going to find that book.... Feeling Good. Sounds pretty good if its as you describe! I sometimes struggle in therapy talking about all of the stuff I feel I have experienced. Its just damned relentless! Thankyou for that books title. I really appreciate it!! 🤗

[@shanafakhry]

My dad is a narcissist and my mother is the enabler- i was living with them a few months ago. My brother is a narcissist too.I'm suffering from depression since childhood. Now i understand everything.I've decided to leave, i moved to another country on my own, it's not easy but i know everything will be alright. I feel more at peace now even if i'm alone. Thank you for your videos, right now i can put words on my experience and feel more validated. Thank you, thank you!

[@celestejones6315]

I feel you... I really do. 🙁 I hope your last 6 months have been full of self-discovery, healing, and prosperity in starting a new direction in life, though, and best of luck to you moving forward. ❤️

[@monicaelyn2393]

Good for you Shana!!

[@randallcauley9484]

way2go

[@User98681]

How are you doing now Shana?

[@mandolaa]

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!! Set boundaries and get rid of the toxicity that ruins your life!!! You are strong!! Love your self!! Dr. Ramani keep embrace us, your help is such a blessing🙏

[@marionhodge3208]

Setting boundaries is a journey that is getting better every day!

[@KiLLED5639]

The boundaries is a serious thing. Sometimes I think I'm being rude but I just need to remember that my psychological health is benefiting from setting boundaries.

[@vaishalid1428]

Dr Ramani...God bless you for the help you have given me. I will heal..slowly but definitely..thanks so much

[@dhanyaslifeventure]

Lots of respect to everyone out there for surviving and thriving.

[@marren6323]

I am reminded of the 3 stages of abuse healing, victim - survivor - thriver. Thank you Dr. Ramani for ending on the thriver stage in this series. Narcissistic abuse is a painful & crazymaking experience & the abusers don't ever get a pass. Having said that, it can be like a refinement by fire for us. We can come through it with a strength and beauty we wouldn't have otherwise had!

[@joycej928]

"Refinement by fire." Love this!

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

You may have felt like you were going crazy, but you end up becoming VERY wise!!!!

[@marren6323]

@@lynnmarieanderson1744 Thank you Ltnn Marie Anderson. I appreciate your affirming words!

[@marren6323]

@Diadem Glow Thank youjoyce j. Well wishes to yoy!

[@marren6323]

@Diadem Glow T Thanks Diadem Glow. Support & best wishes to you!

[@sharonsaturdsy875]

Having two narcissist parents and just ending a marriage with one, I've had to confront my deeply held belief that if I was only better, said things kinder, did more, I would have connection and attachment with these people. I was told it was all my fault. Untangling some of that belief has been very challenging.

[@noeljohnson9327]

YOU GO SHARON!!! MY LIFE WAS SIMILAR, 2 NARCISSIST PARENTS & TWO!!! SISTER, AN AUNT, MOTHER IN LAW AND OF COURSE MY 33 YEAR NARC HUBBY!!!! ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE PERFECT, THANK GOD I FINALLY KNOW THAT!!! AND YES, LEFT THEM ALL BEHIND!! THERE WERE SO MAYON MY LIFE, I KNEW NOTHING ELSE!! IM FREE, POSITIVE, JOYFUL, HAPPY, ENTHUSIASTIC, AND MY LIFE- LONG HEALTH PROBLEMS ARE COMPLETELY GONE!!!!! 👏👏👏👏 KEEP STRONG & NEVER LET A NARCISSIST DESTROY YOU AGAIN!!! I’M 55 AND FEEL 25, FOR THE “FIRST” TIME IN MY LIFE, LOVIN’ LIFE, YOU CAN DO IT, SWEETIE!!!🙋‍♀️💖🤩🌞👍👍👍👍👍😁

[@mayyourwishesallcometrue]

Exactly!!!

[@lyciamessersmith5348]

@@noeljohnson9327 and Sharon S. I have a similar life experience too! I am still learning at 54 what "normal" is suppose to look like and it's actually a *fun* discovery even though most of the time I step out feeling afraid. The payoff is so worth it!

[@orianam9835]

You dont need to please. You are enough

[@Breakfree_riseandrebuild]

My heart goes out to you in the biggest way ! I have two narc parents .. yet now Im free.. we can be freee!!!!

[@berendko7266]

Having a narcissistic parent (and a not-so-good other parent) I learned that my happiness should never depend on others. Being successful, to me, is being able to create your own joy.

[@joannelewis8038]

I'm learning to listen to myself Make my own decisions Being independent Liking my own company Ok with being single Understanding my emotions Learning to respond and not react

[@lyciamessersmith5348]

Congratulations!! I'm on the same journey. The process has taken decades due to it being my FOO but daring to find out who we really as God intended is worth trusting Him. Best wishes and don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens.

[@amandacole6673]

Yes! To all of this.

[@biancaavelino6348]

I took my narc back when he said he had changed. He didn't. In fact, he was upset that I grew a backbone & was able to stand up for myself. Once he started the name calling, I kicked him to the curb & never looked back. If anything, my narc relationship showed me what NOT to look for in a relationship. I've now been happily married to a wonderful man for 15 years.

[@lambchop6278]

I've noticed this too: that once you start getting confidence that the narcs don't like it and start bullying you to try to get you in the submissive, giving up all control to them position. ...It's actually quite disgusting, to do such a thing to someone you supposedly "care about".

[@franky-PAF]

Yeah the name calling is the sign they are a bully and a narc

[@annburge291]

I'm surprised that you still look at these videos...Does this mean the wounds are still there or does it now mean that it's just an interesting topic for helping others?

[@biancaavelino6348]

@@annburge291 I'm still healing.

[@Anna-vi7ky]

Congrats on your healthy relationship. It’s so great to hear a good ending for a good person. Thank you for sharing about your experience and showing us you got away from the toxicity

[@manuelasantner5519]

I fought through my psychology studies alongside an extremely demanding job, studying in the evenings and on weekens, all the while while suffering narcissistic abuse and special onslaught of abuse during exam times. He knew it would kill me. Against all odds I made it, wrote my dissertation about the Dark Triad and bullying (after all I became a specialist on it by living through it) and am currently looking for my office to start as a licenced therapist. The narc is gone, I feel free, very much accomplished and proud of myself with a bright future ahead and yes, I love to be alone these days, working on my dream without being disturbed by anyone. Never thought I'd say it, but living through hell was actually worth it.

[@kimh.5932]

Sounds exactly like my story when I went back to school -- even the special onslaught at exam time. He would pretend he was supportive -- like on Facebook-- but behind the scenes, far from it. I hope he rots in hell.

[@swttooth318]

@@kimh.5932 I also experienced the special onslaught during exams. And I very much feel the same way about my ex -- I KNOW he will rot in hell; it's the only thing that brought me closure and kept me going some days during my divorce from him. And isn't their public support of us so confusing?! My ex was the same way -- so much so that my friends would tell me what a great guy I had. They'd unintentionally gaslight me too (through no fault of their own) - and that compelled me to stay much longer than I should have. I'm glad you're out ❤️

[@alicehall3516]

Good for you 👍

[@emiliapeneva2934]

Now you will be a wounded healer. This is a brilliant concept by Jung 🙂

[@kerstinmiller223]

Amazing! Congratulations and good luck finding a great office location, I’m sure you’re going to be a spectacular therapist ❤️

[@demimiller794]

Learning boundaries. Not allowing people in my space unless I want them there. Learning that there is a naivety within me to openly trust people instead of allowing them to earn my trust. This goes beyond a narc. This is everyday people. I'm learning to discern and trust my intuition. Knowing that I have to be intentionally single to get to know my real self so that I'll be confident when I do decide to be in a relationship again. The pure amount of joy knowing I survived a narc relationship is overwhelming in the best type of ways.

[@egrace3738]

I do like my own company. I can spot Red flags now, and I reflect on conversations. Met a woman who liked to get drunk. She talked about how her husband would keep her safe when she got drunk---prepping me/others for the same role. Been there, done that. She was everything I 'needed'---realtor, flatterer, nurturer. I saw through this in about an hour and decided I don't need that again. I politely called it a night and left. She was visibly and audibly surprised I wasn't charmed! I have saved a lot of trouble for myself. Thanks Dr. Ramani!

[@birdgirl8390]

Absolutely correct! I've learned to see the purpose of their sad sack stories. That it's only about luring you in with trauma bonding and to guilt trip you into the role of the helper. Never again!

[@joseenoel8093]

Spot on, they can keep their charms for the privacy of their bathroom mirror, gross 😝! I've always been confused by the charm thing, I like regular persons... Maybe I'm wanting to hear lights/camera/actions. I always enjoy my own company and put my charm towards my cat 🐱 trying to convince her she needs me! That drunk's a loser, she can bend her arm, load her toxins alone!

[@batwom4304]

‘Prepping me for the same role.’ Damn. It’s creepy, and so true. I’m so glad you were able to see through the bait so early!!! That’s so encouraging!!

[@notagain779]

E Grace, Very discerning of you! And you were smart to save yourself trouble. A short story for you: I was eating alone at a restaurant. Two women were at the next table, one of them extremely drunk. Several martini glasses were in front of her. She stumbled to the bathroom, and barely made it, I think. The other woman who didn't drink, apologized for the big mess all over the table and dropped food on the rug. She explained to me that she was the designated driver. Her friend, she said, was a fragile mess since the murder of her son, and couldn't stop drinking. It was as though she wanted to escape the situation by talking to me. I thought she was also a little embarrassed by the mess. The woman came back from the bathroom and ordered a fourth martini! Now her friend introduced us and wanted for the three of us to be in conversation together. The drunk woman glared at me like I was an intruder who might "steal" her friend away. It got worse when the designated driver said, "Wouldn't it be nice if Linda (me) joined us at the beach house this summer?" I thought, uh-oh .... but I didn't need to worry, because the drunk woman blurted out, "No, that won't be necessary!" What a weird evening that was! 🤪

[@evonne315]

I know that role too! Nice save!

[@novaste1238]

I've become one with my intuition now, and I thank my two narcissist exes for that. I will never ever ever ever ignore my gut feelings again... another super power I would have to say is I can now smell a narcissist a MILE away, this goes for friends and family too!

[@christianpulisic7784]

Erin Petersen,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!

[@cindyreeves5048]

I’d like that super power.

[@AJ-kb9hf]

You gut speaks to you and screams at you until you can't ignore it! I always knew but just chose to ignore because I was not ready to deal with what I always knew - that he was a liar and cheat! I just didn't know the extent and depth of the deception. Two secret families (and no doubt other baby mothers). How does someone live like this. Mentally sick.

[@donnasamuels9434]

That's exactly how I was made to feel. Even my cooking wasnt good enough. My friends and family love my cooking but I was barely allowed to cook and I live cooking!

[@anicalemarquand3539]

I’m with you Erin 🙂👍

[@daniellemichayla]

Surviving made me learn my self worth!❤️ I still remember the day it clicked. Instead of feeling shame and self doubt when he was abusing me, I saw the manipulation for what it was. It was like these invisible chains I didn’t even know where there just broke off of me and I suddenly experienced a deep gratitude and love for myself. It was the most freeing experience I’ve had to this day❤️🥰

[@SirJCruz]

Amazing

[@vickiegroome3220]

Have personally walked away with an enhanced sense of humor and a deep peace. Everything is going to be all right.

[@Stukkeman]

“Surviving narcissistic abuse is a superpower” Brilliant! How cool to know one’s spirit is, in fact, unbreakable 💖

[@evka24]

Like antibodies from covid 🥳

[@barbcarrobourg1179]

Yes that actually gave me hope, not gonna lie! I really needed to hear that!!

[@betts3824]

Once you get it ,that decoder ring you now possess is absolutely priceless. Suddenly you are again excited about YOUR life. I too thank Dr. Ramani for saving me.😊

[@DolceIbarra]

I’ve learned that I am capable of not only taking care of myself but thriving on my own. I was always the major bread winner, why was I so afraid?!?

[@hikerhobby1204]

Amen Dolce! I’ve vowed to myself to never pay for a mans life again!

[@lcast818]

Same here. I am still reconnecting with myself.

[@kristinechristlieb1383]

Me too.

[@pdelaprimm]

Thank you. Learning to thrive as we speak.

[@lalruatpuiikhiangte7030]

I felt an enormous sense of freedom and relief and a renewed appreciation for the normal , sensible, reliable , predictable, emotionally available people in my life. Normal is seriously underrated 😂

[@oSIDDYo]

I escaped after two years of hell and I’ve never felt better, first few months were rough but the realisation of what she was and letting go of the feelings I thought I had was amazing, I finally feel like I’m me again

[@franceshaggitt3104]

I did it yesterday..ended it again for good ..hoping I feel ok

[@beesknees5441]

​@@franceshaggitt3104 Hi, well done for escaping ✨ Remaining no contact is very important. Gain as much narc knowledge as possible along your journey; I found Dr Ramani, Narc Con, HG Tudor, Danish Bashir & others on here extremely helpful ✨ Its also highly important to show love to yourself ❣️ Self care, walks in nature, rediscover your your hobbies & the little things that make you smile. Don't be too hard on yourself during the bad days. It's a journey & along the way you'll develop a deeper understanding/love of yourself 💖 It can take a while to sort through all the cognitive dissonance & gaslighting of the relation'shit'.. But eventually you'll begin to feel lighter ✨ There's some coaching videos on here also that can help you along the way also Lisa Romano is very helpful in that regard & she also understands the narc dynamic. Sending good vibes ✨🌷✌️😉🍃🌸

[@beesknees5441]

Oh & as you gain the narc knowledge, it might shine a light on previous encounters with the .. other breed of human that is the narc. This can initially feel rather overwhelming if you've had various encounters without realising. But once you've gotten your head rnd that, it actually ends up feeling quite liberating ✨ & it also means you'll develop a narc-dar of sorts & be able to navigate yourself toward healthier people in the future ✨🌷 ✌️😉🍃🌸

[@franceshaggitt3104]

@@beesknees5441 hope so...three weeks now..... I start new job and it's all nerving tho....why

[@franceshaggitt3104]

@@beesknees5441 help

[@phoenixautodiagnosticsandr7733]

I feel that I'm healing until I get a message as to how he's moved on, how the business, that we started 10 years ago together, is now being run by the new woman, how she is now living in MY house that I own, how she is living in my life... ...for a moment it ABSOLUTELY KILLS me... I had a major meltdown this morning with regards to this ,after receiving some information, and then I thought no. Enough is ENOUGH. I reminded myself, it's NOT your life anymore... pinch myself to stop the self pity. To realise I, myself, gave it up to survive. Its 9 months since I ran away, leaving behind my home, my vehicle, a business I still have to sort out, ten years of debt created by him etc. I still have to deal with having lost everything financially to escape him, and seeing his life go on unaffected with a new woman, new children. There are ghosts of the past to lay to rest for all of us, and we have to be gentle with ourselves, to allow the moments of grief, because to an extent we are in mourning. I listen to others and I KNOW it will get better. It IS better because I can go to sleep without arguments, without being told I'm useless, without that feeling of knowing that I am never enough for him. It IS better because I don't have to pick up the phone knowing that at the end of the call I more than likely will be screamed and shouted at for something. It IS better because my every move is not questioned, monitored, the km on the car not checked (well he has my car so that doesn't really apply but it would if I had a car). It IS better because I don't have to worry about catching any more sicknesses because he's with someone else. It IS better because when I'm driven somewhere I don't have to listen to him screaming and shouting at me, and at other drivers, of being driven recklessly at 300kph. Being told he's going to drive off the highway and kill us etc. It IS better because I am going to only allow people in my life who hold themselves accountable for their OWN behavior. I REFUSE to be blamed for everything ever again. It IS better because I never have to fear his hands again. Hands are supposed to be held out with love... when I think of his hands I think of them cruelly hurting me, throwing things at me, hurting our animals, using them to love other women... I need to learn how to look at a man's hands without the fear of them. And SO much more. I also have a ton of self hatred for not listening to others, for doing what inside my gut told me not to, for my pathetic self pride which told me to carry on... it will get better, dont let others see you take the fall. BUT... as much as I feel the above, the other day, when approached by a mutual acquaintance (who for no reason other than I was a single woman, has been downright dismissive and rude to me from the moment we met) to talk to a mutual friend, whose car I was driving that day. I saw her approach and calmly pressed the button to wind the window up so she could not be rude to me. That day I set a boundary, calmly with no explanation. Because I had had enough. And I will continue to do so, even if it means I say not a word, in every area of my life as need be. I was bullied as a child because I've always been taught to turn the other cheek and just take it. No. No more. So thank you Dr R, through your videos I have learnt about narcissistic behaviour, although my ex I believe now is more of a psychopath than just a narcissist. I have learnt how co dependent I was, and that I was an enabler of his behavior because I always made excuses for him based on how he was raised. How I tried to protect him from himself, and shield others from his anger. As much as I accept my role in it, NONE of it gave him a reason for his brutality towards me. I still have things to go through, to get him out of my house, to sequestrate, to start over again, to find employment at 57 years old, to pay back my father his money I've used to get to where I am now. But I know I will be fine. I might breakdown every now and again because I am still trying to find out HOW to RELEASE THE BETRAYAL and HURT I feel of someone being so inhumane as to do this to someone they say they love. Its understanding the dynamics of their personality, as explained by you Dr R, that helps me go forward and understand in my own way that their "love" is different to ours. And that it's unacceptable. But those are moments... and I will carry on fighting to survive, finding a reason to live each day. Finding my triggers and working on them. I have been told SO many times, in the last 9 months, by so many different people, "you have been so hurt and damaged, yet you lift up people wherever you go, and love and care for them and love and care for animals and children ... how do you do it"?... I do it for the sake of love Because I refuse point blank to let him make me bitter and twisted and jealous and nasty... I refuse to let my life stop because of him. If I do, he wins. So each day I create a moment of happiness. I go for a walk and look at the beautiful earth we have been given and I feel such gratitude because I am able to enjoy and cherish this feeling in peace. Or Even if it's a moment as simple as where I'm thankful because I can lie in the bath for an hour and I don't have to stress because I know he's not in the next room chatting to another woman or watching porn. Each moment of gratitude helps me heal. I'm free. Thank you for helping us, truly, psychiatric help is horrifically expensive here in South Africa, most of us cannot afford it and the queues for the unemployed to get counseling are astronomically long, the domestic abuse levels here are through the roof. And most of our voices are unheard, we are too scared to see the police for fear of our abusers reprisal. We hide secluded in our homes, our abuser becoming our only contact with the outside world. So caring people, like yourself Dr R, who make videos like this, help people like us so so much. Without your help I don't know if I could be the lady I am now.... .....Living alone, allowing myself to just be brave enough to get out the house, to meet new people, to work through my pain, to try and repair damaged relationships, to be able to drive without fear of being screamed at that I'm doing it wrong, to find joy in gardening and reading again, to walk my dogs without being scared I'm being followed, to be able to laugh properly again, to cook food that people complimeny, to find my sense of humour, to find ME again. And mainly to forgive myself because I loved a man .... a man who turned out to be a monster. I am only human. I make mistakes. Through watching your videos Dr R, I will endeavour NEVER to make them again. Thank you.

[@dman1401]

I’m exceptionally funny. I can make an entire room laugh without even trying. Usually under the strange circumstances of it being a funeral or when I’m in surgery at work lots of different people I am adaptable to different situations with ease. Are usually can think very well under pressure high stress situations. I am calm when there’s chaos. I am real with people but still nice when giving my opinion. I care about hurting other people I think it’s wrong. I take accountability For my negative behavior. I can identify why I’m acting this way and what I need to do to stop it. I’m so grateful to have the capacity to understand what I went through. I feel bad for the ones who can’t comprehend what’s going on. I feel like I’m extremely intuitive. I may have dreams Or different conversations with people and it all tells me what’s going to happen or what needs to happen. Thank you Dr. R You will never know what you Have done for me. I can never thank you enough. Good luck to all of those out there I feel like once we survive we need to help others that’s the point of surviving. We know better we do better we can Help other people by relating to them and saying I’ve been through this I know how you feel and you can change the path and course of your life. You deserve better than this. There’s a way to make this situation not dark other people learning from our situation it makes it light makes it a positive thing. Makes it worth it.

[@debbiewatson6508]

It gets better and better and better as time goes on. I became a brand new person and grew immeasurably in ways I never could have imagined. I am at peace,finally, with who I am and I know how it feels to be free ❤️

[@jowalt1]

Sending love your way sister warrior ❤️

[@lionsimba723]

Wow! I am your neighbor (Zambia).I understand your frustration. That woman is living in your life now but very soon, she will be living in your former HELL. It happened to my mom. When my parents divorced, dad remarried within a year. He then found a job in South Africa (jo’burg). It was a trap to isolate his new supply from family and friends. Soon, the abuse began. It went on and on till she left him and traveled back to Zambia with only the clothes she was wearing

[@sarahmohamed9488]

Your soul are very beautiful and strong ❤️ bless u

[@hannahrioux1596]

Dear Dr. Ramani, your videos have been life saving. In no way did I find them depressing. Eye opening, comforting, reassuring, informative, yes! The list of positive benefits of your contributions could go on and on. Thank-you for dedicating your efforts to helping so many of us who have experienced the various forms of narcissistic abuse. I am so very grateful to you. Your orange blouse suits you very well.

[@rubinaminassian6127]

I feel the same too. Most days my morning starts with coffee, EarPods and Dr.Ramani.

[@ab-ui7tf]

💜 Dr. Ramani. She single handedly changed my life.

[@HL-hr4ox]

Same here, she’s amazing.

[@tanyakwiatkowski5638]

I agree. Shes got way more potential then she even realizes.

[@gizempolat4651]

Same here!

[@kilppari78]

She gave me a glossary to comprehend what I was being accused of. In the process I found out the accuser fit into more categories than I do. Also, Dr. Ramani's video on irritability caused by the discomfort gave me an insight further explaining why I had become so tensed and short-fused. I wasn't like that before, and certainly would say I'm not that anymore. It's been just six days but I already feel the difference. Serenity and playfulness gently falling over me again. 😊

[@hippydippy11]

@@kilppari78 so happy for you to hear that and I know the feeling. Stay strong!

[@chiconapeacefulpath]

Oddly enough I discovered my worth and how to love and care for myself. Going from feeling like the most undeserving worthless pos to feeling cared for and loved beyond measure is healing and powerful beyond belief. I've never felt closer to Spirit in my life and my gratitude levels are off the charts. I am humbled by my blessings. I couldn't have done any of this without videos like these from Dr. Ramani and everyone in this online community. We are not alone!!! ❤❤❤

[@ruthstevenson7169]

I also came very close with God now and realize how he has been there. The whole time he has blessed me over and over again. He gives me strength and self-confidence to move through life with patience and determination now. It's totally amazing hang in there

[@tanushreebhattacharji2611]

Learnt the concept of self-love. Realized what life actually is and how important it is to live every moment. Also realized that a person with a beautiful soul is surprisingly rare.

[@kathrynlangford8405]

One of my most profound breakthroughs came when I suddenly realised that what the narcissists in my life convinced me were my weaknesses were in fact my strengths. My so called weaknesses are actually my strengths. Now that’s a paradigm shift.

[@itsmimi1544]

Yes!!! Anything they hate is our strength 💪

[@SirenaChicago]

My ex Narc is afraid of me. During the trial he said to the Judge "She's trying to hurt me"! Hurt you? because I"m advocating for myself and fighting for my assets? He also said " At one time we did love each other" Yea, that was a long time ago before his mask fell off and I discovered his true covert narcissism traits. My message is advocate for yourself and stand up to what's right. Stay Blessed everyone.

[@JULIETDAMJANOVSKIJC]

Yeah! My ex is a Covert Narc too. They are horrible and love to use manipulation, guilt and remorse as their weapons of mass destruction against you and to benefit themselves outright.

[@Queen-ep2uj]

Going through this now. We go to court this month and somedays I think if it is truly the way he says it is, am I the narcissistic one, is it truly my fault. It's a lot and I'm working through that guilt one day at a time.

[@SirenaChicago]

@@discordmuch I have no idea what your comment has to do with my healing process and my advocacy to stand up for myself. Please make sure you are commenting under the correct post. This community is about sharing experiences since no one's trauma is the same. Please pay attention to Dr. Ramani videos she specifically asks questions for the community to comment on.

[@SirenaChicago]

@@JULIETDAMJANOVSKIJC Thank you for your comment. Yes, that is exactly why I advocate for what is right and I stood up for myself, it completely took him off guard since I had never stood up for myself before, I hired the best attorney and he has like 20 exhibits during trial showing that my assets were mine and not his! My advice stick to the facts and the narcissist will look like the con-artist, they really are.

[@Anna-vi7ky]

Queen Campbell I’ll pray for your health and for the lawsuit

[@barbaraferrier644]

Self-Love is the key to a happy life. Love yourself at all your ages and for all your experiences. Then you're never alone. And you've got your own back and keep the boundaries you need. Allow for 5-minute friends (new people you meet) but remember to stay detatched and observe people if you want to make deeper friendships. Allow others to prove themselves to be safe.

[@oscarwilliamson6163]

Barbara Ferrier,You look cute,Hope you are not with a narcissist.....

[@wildgingerliving]

All of these years of therapy, and in this one video, I feel the "shift" in my brain and "get" it. I watched this twice. Now, time to get my journal and rewrite my narrative. You are right, they get to live with themselves, and I get to move on to a fabulous life.

[@varunparmar511]

I felt the same . @Ginger Patterson

[@amandacole6673]

I don’t remember which video it was, but I felt what I would describe as a shift in my brain. Almost like a new lens was put over the camera (my eyes) and now I just see it all for what it is. Even if I don’t have a name for it yet (and I learn more with each video), just having this knowledge makes me feel powerful.

[@simev500]

Using actual journaling to sort out uncomfortable feelings and unusual dreams that you can remember upon waking in the morning does helps tremendously. Keeping it private under lock if necessary, of course. Because your dreams are your own gateways to your subconscious, which is trying to reveal to you important clues to solve your conflicts but the conscious mind avoids out of fear (disappointment, rejection, shame?)

[@nancythornton2947]

I agree. I got more from Dr Ramani then any of the three therapist I went to.

[@lunalilly8645]

@@nancythornton2947 same, it's crazy, I've never felt this way. This woman deserves a medal.

[@kaleenhird9658]

Realizing I don’t have to panic anymore when a package is late and not having to be afraid he’s going to blow up while I’m grocery shopping was life changing. I’m still not a hundred percent, but I can get through the tasks now. I don’t have to brace for anger and I can respond to unexpected disappointments with a smile and understanding. I get to react to things the way I want and that gives me self confidence.

[@jazminehernandez8990]

Yessss!!!!!!!!! I feel this!

[@darkmoonbeauty]

I cannot wait to be here. At the moment I’m constantly having to walk on eggshells and prepare for negative reactions even when things are out of my control. I miss being able to live life without constantly worrying about how I’m going to be blamed for every single thing. Seeing that other people have gotten through this gives me so much hope. Congratulations! I hope to be in your shoes soon!

[@heathernewman5272]

Yes! The peace is wonderful!! He's not there criticizing EVERY LITTLE THING! I am so happy now!

[@ericrenmoe3499]

I'm afraid I'll forget how bad it was. I want to remember the terror of being late or how afraid I was that something would go wrong to set her off. I never want to take for granted how lucky I am to be out of that situation.

[@kaleenhird9658]

Asia Bell I’m cheering for you so hard!!!

[@simplybiking]

I’m 54, and just left my narcissistic cult family. I am now courageous more than ever. I say and do exactly what I want, knowing full well I will be met with flack, but I just don’t care anymore what others may say or think about me.

[@Tamjeniatam]

Bravo!!!@Simply Biking& Bibles

[@haleyrealtor]

Yes! I feel the same way. Empowered and emboldened, thanks to our abusers who have kept us under their thumbs for so long.

[@simplybiking]

@@haleyrealtor Good for you Haley! 👍

[@swttooth318]

This is very hard to do and I'm proud of you!!

[@dagmarmedabrejlova8825]

💛💛💛

[@annai3394]

Thank you for validating our pain ❤ very often we invalidate our painful experiences and we think of ourselves as weak. But those who could wake up and stand for themselves against narcissist and their abuse are really strong people! It’s like being a warrior of light against darkness

[@lulumeyers146]

To everyone here, you all inspire me, humble me and I feel such a kindred connection, reading about your experiences and triumphs. I salute you all, I celebrate your victories, I rejoice in your healing! Your transformation is my transformation! Thank you 🙏🏽☀️

[@bolero7860]

Awareness of boundaries is the number one new skill for me. I immediately can discerm when Im feeling emotionally unsafe. I can identify exactly when someone is making me feel unsafe, address it with them and feel strong enough to walk away from a possibly harmful relationship. I feel like Ive finally grown up and can protect my emotions with confidence. I am my best friend as no one can protect me or make me feel safe better than myself. 😀

[@NB-2020]

Wow! I wonna get there... I am still too trusting, too forgiving... too much of a rescuer -- but I am learning....

[@bolero7860]

@@NB-2020 listen to your body. You can feel when a boundry is being crossed.

[@NB-2020]

@@bolero7860 Thank you; that makes sense and is practical.

[@maryvelneelemantenaya1966]

@@NB-2020 Do deep breathing exercises to slow yourself down. And concentrate on... what you're thinking about... When we get too dreamy... We can find ourselves too far out there... until we know what we're dealing with... So, then we can catch ourself before we become ensnared.

[@NB-2020]

@@maryvelneelemantenaya1966 Thank you!

[@tammyadirim841]

Yes , you learn a lot from healing from abuse. Survivors are strong, caring, deep and understanding

[@chrysichrysi7889]

I think part of that is because we're still too steep in that "care taker" mode: be everything for everyone and you'll be loved!

[@glshay4340]

I recently had a conflict with a friend of 5 years. I stood up for myself, and with one response, “….you’re just determined to be angry with me” I saw the pattern of behaviour that's existed our entire friendship. In my previous life, I certainly would’ve ruminated about what I did, and how to repair it. Now, I recognize her inability to hear me in any situation. I feel wiser, saner, happier, and now there’s space for healthy friendships.

[@sharonmerritt6298]

I’m no longer the same person. Surviving a narcissistic relationship has changed me. God has given me a new heart. I am becoming the person He wants me to be. I have risen from the ashes!

[@nafeezabolia9724]

So nice to hear.All the best always.

[@arlenecannon7565]

I feel the same way. ❤

[@maryharvey8293]

Thanks for sharing this Sharon. God has given me a new heart as well, and yes, it feels like becoming a new person.

[@christinar2039]

I’m out. I survived and now I’m able to authentically value my own time, energy and accomplishments. I don’t seek validation or approval from others - I’ve realized all I truly need at the end of the day is myself knowing I’ve done my best and that is, by far, good enough.

[@elenasgambati7191]

Thank you Dr. Ramani for holding my hand and heart through this journey of surviving N. 🙏🏼

[@d1g1td1va]

I feel like the female Rocky Balboa, staggering on my feet, bleeding, seeing double but still fighting, stronger than ever now, thanks to you Dr Ramani! God bless you!!

[@triplekids3]

I left my husband of 33 years moved in to my new place Freedom

[@LC-zd1uh]

I will never again ignore red flags and listen to my gut. Thank you to Dr. Ramani!

[@everythingroxy3582]

Yes I saw the signs immediately But listened to close friends Who convinced me I needed to stop running and have a “ real relationship “ Never again 😞😩😠🥵🥶

[@farinalindsey2320]

This video left me feeling really empowered... We are going to come out of this better than just okay. Thank you Dr. Ramani!!!

[@batwom4304]

I love that!

[@user-vo8ju8fy1w]

The first thing I noticed as I am still in the early stages of healing is that I gained so much more energy. Before I would only manage to get myself to work and home, my house was a mess whilst in the relationship and I would look around at everything that needed doing and feel overwhelmed. I now have time and for friends and family, I am finding myself again. I am truely blessed as i have an amazing support network. I used to walked on eggshells around him as I never knew when a rage episode would hit. I made all the excuses under the sun to justify his behaviour and I would change how and when I did things just to avoid an argument. This never worked as it would still be an issue and I still did something wrong according to him. Each day gets a little easier. I no longer feel depressed, I now feel free and like life is beginning. I find myself restless at times and think of things to fill my time. Unfortunately I don't have any routine with my occupation so finding classes or hobbies is a bit difficult but I have found new things I enjoy like rock climbing. I wasted 9years of my life with a narcissist. And for the first time in a long time I'm truly happy. I was unsure at first if leaving was the right choice but then I had heard of how he started treating the people he moved in with after we broke up and I knew then I made the right choice. The hardest hurdle was walking away and knowing it was the right choice. Love bombing and gas lighting definitely were the major challenges to overcome as he seemed to know my limits better than I did. Once i had cut all ties life got easier as whenever I was contacted by him I got anxiety attacks and would feel guilty. Now I hope he can find away to overcome his own demon's but I also don't want or need to know what's going on in his life.

[@noslenarual]

I sing around the house. I do what I want. I laugh more. I’m less stressed even though my future is completely unsure, I believe in myself and I have hope for the future. I feel free.

[@annemccarron2281]

It truly was an imprisonment. I tell people I've never really had a marriage. What I had was a master/slave relationship.

[@jessicadepriest5440]

Me too! Almost giddy! 😁

[@mmommo-hx4dx]

I survived 38 years of him cheating.

[@jesla1757]

Yes! I sing and dance around the house, which is something I stopped during the relationship. I'm happy that part of me is back

[@cancersurvchick8157]

So awesome to hear ❤️