Does having a racial preference when dating make us racist? Mona Chalabi | Comment is Free

Statistics from the dating site OKCupid have revealed that most people prefer to date someone who is the same race as them.
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Mona Chalabi believes that while there are a variety of reasons people express certain preferences when looking for a partner, this trend is in part due to our exposure to negative racial stereotypes. Isn't it time we examined how systematic racism is affecting our romantic choices she asks.
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[@BellicaTV]

it's okay to say you find a race attractive but don't put down another race or compare.

[@roycriddle4424]

Nah I'll compare if I want

[@roycriddle4424]

@@sam-cn8tu nope, if someone doesn't like the features or complexion of certain races, that's ok. Physical attraction isn't racist and while features and complexion do vary, I can easily say I've never found dark skinned women (or pretty much any all black woman) attractive. If you're straight and never liked the same sex, does that mean that since you haven't encountered every single person of the same sex, you can't say you're not attracted to them? Of course not! I don't like black girle physically and people like you aren't helping your race by trying to guilt trip people into liking you

[@sam-cn8tu]

Roy Criddle I’m not guilt tripping anyone mate it just doesn’t make sense to me. I only agree with racial preferences closely intertwined with culture/ religion which makes sense because that’s practical. But other than that there’s too much diversity within each race and I think it’s interesting that people aren’t willing to look into their subconscious biases and get so offended by the notion. Everyone’s a little racist sometimes eh. Sometimes it’s just easier than digging into why you think how you think. To be frank with you I don’t believe you about never seeing a dark skinned woman you’d consider attractive. And it’s not that I haven’t thought about features and sexual orientation but even then i know there’s certain features I find attractive and have seen in every race. Also the difference between men and women is much more distinct than that between races when it comes to physicality. I just think it’s very different. Symmetry and that whole ‘ being attracted to people who reminds you of your family’ stuff when it comes to attractiveness is the only thing I find convincing so far. It’s just from personal experience and boiling down the opinions of people I talk to with these preferences who turn out to actually not be as stuck on race as they thought they were. If it helps it makes me cringe to hear even ‘positive’ racial generalisations. And so anyone who talks about liking black women because they’re exotic queens and voluptuous is just as ignorant. I’m just not convinced humans see skin colour on people in the same way we choose our favourite colours on a rainbow. I don’t think it’s okay either because it’s limiting

[@sam-cn8tu]

Roy Criddle actually I digress when it comes to sexual orientation because I haven’t got my head around that one yet

[@roycriddle4424]

@DarthVader I could tell you the same thing

[@Nostradamia]

Is it homophobic to prefer dating a member of the opposite sex? Stupid issue.

[@matthewwhaling3075]

Brilliant

[@Nostradamia]

Windy Johnson Maybe you'll understand my point of view if I say: Is it racist to prefer blonds over dark hair women? Or, is it racist to prefer Asians over Caucasians given you are Caucasian? ... and so on. Personally, the most attractive and beautiful woman I've ever seen, although not dated as the opportunity did not present itself, was bi or tri-racial black, Asian and likely white. What does that make me? And, what would it make me if I liked a mix of only 2? Sexual preferences have nothing to do with racism either way. In colonial and slavery times, white men used to abuse other race women. Did that make them not racist? Do not mix sexual preference and racism.

[@ninjae4976]

Nostradamia isn't what white men used to do to many women in colonial time refer to as racist love though? Also, what about your views on fetishes?

[@aba1design]

Pumpkin Pumpkin I think it is a valid comparison I mean when it comes to being gay everyone generally agrees that you don't choose who you are attracted to why would this principle be any different when it comes to race? Everyone has certain physical traits that appeal to them most which will be more or less prominent in certain races which would create a situation where you are more likely to be attracted to people of some races more so than another. The traits people are attracted to will vary from person to person and thus people will have varying preferences and it will change from person to person. I have seen research that shows people tend to be attracted to what is most similar to themselves commonly which could be a explanation of why people tend to date within the same race since they would be more likely to share many of the same physical features that they are statistically more likely to find attractive.

[@Edbrad]

Pumpkin Pumpkin Why? We have preferences for every kind of other thing... gender, tall, short, fat, thin, boob size, muscles or lack of muscles, big butt, small butt, hair colour, hair style, facial shapes, body shape, age, sound of someone's voice, accent, etc etc etc etc. Why should having a preference for a ethic characteristics suddenly be totally different to any of that?

[@jj-uj7df]

No???...? I just hate everyone equally.

[@itsbeyondme5560]

Same

[@Amor_fati.Memento_Mori]

(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[@osborneist]

But saying your racist if you don't want to date outside your race isn't going to change who you are attracted to or not, is it?

[@zebedeerotten533]

+Alice Rabbit exactly top comment the word racist is propoganda

[@NiceterCoolster]

What is ‘your’ race?

[@PsychosisFire]

To me, desiring certain physical characteristics in a potential partner isn't discriminatory towards people who don't have those characteristics. It's just nature. There's nothing wrong with a man liking red-haired women, or a woman liking tall, brown-eyed men, for example. What is wrong is assuming that all members of a certain ethnicity are a certain way, and then completely disregarding them based on that misconception. That applies to people of all ethnicities.

[@SageVaughn]

Why are you assuming an entire group of people all look and act the same when in reality they're very diverse?

[@herrbear3049]

Thanks man, respect

[@khxliakhxlia3605]

@@SageVaughn right that last little paragraph doesnt sound right at all

[@supremecalamitas342]

@@SageVaughn he says in the comment that is not what he is doing

[@Ashley-km4qi]

But they aren’t talking about attributes like hair, mouth, ears, etc. they’re talking about skin color solely.

[@bornagainulsterman4537]

Answer: no, we are entitled to our preferences.

[@KayNovember26]

Unless you are caucasian...

[@afroman5160]

@@KayNovember26 Or black because society always encourages us too interacial date. Black or white guys can't prefer there own.

[@Phoenix_The_HeroHater]

@@KayNovember26 fighting racism with racism I call it

[@Phoenix_The_HeroHater]

@Gabriel P sorry but I can’t offer my seat. But here take this L

[@M.S.Fitness]

If I open a shop and make it public and available to EVERYONE, is it ok if I tell all my customers that I'd prefer to serve white people but you can still come in and look around. Now tell me that's not racist

[@johnnycage8327]

She's right partly. I get many matches on Tinder mostly with white women. Guess what? I'm Middle Eastern but have "white features" (hazel eyes, almost pale). When they find out my ethnicity they stop responding/block. It's not ONLY about physical part. Cultural stereotypes as this woman says plays big big big role.

[@persianguy1524]

yep

[@tjwhitley5284]

That is just weird...

[@leescuderi8331]

Or it could be the opposite. I'm half Italian half German. I have medium toned olive skin and dark hair/eyes but many people think I'm Hispanic. I get passed on a lot Im sure even though my heritage is completely European and I am considered Caucasian.

[@caraqueno]

I get similar treatment, Oldschool. I'm Latino, a white Latino. Whenever that comes up, white men don't find me attractive because they assume Latinos are all dark in skin color and that there's no such thing as a white Latino. Darker-skinned Latinos will find me attractive as do many younger Asian men, I believe, because I'm perceived by them as white, even though in American culture, I'm not regarded as white by white men and women. Mona Chalabi is spot on about negative racial stereotypes getting in our hormones and psyche, where it all begins. Jung's Imago Theory relates how one's attraction to people, places, and things results from the messages that we internalize from our families, communities, and media until we are 5 years old (though, certainly, those messages get reinforced throughout our lives by these same groups). When we recognize our imagos and take steps to change them, we most certainly change who we find attractive, not sexual orientation but on who physically excites us. So, in the white LGBT community of Los Angeles, I'm a non-entity while I'm much more sought out by Asians and Latinos. Go figure! :-). What happens is that, generally, whites of all socio-economic backgrounds refuse to admit that they are led by racial stereotyping into their dating and sexual attractions.

[@bodybuildingbooks]

That's sad.

[@polymobile]

If you have a healthy attitude and know it's a preference that has nothing to do with racism, that's fine. The problem is...we've got to be honest to ourselves....

[@caressaclark1042]

Since childhood I have been attracted to good-looking men of all races. It was my LIFE EXPERIENCES that lead me to my current racial preference, it had NOTHING to do with one race looking better than another. I do not consider myself racist, because although I have a preference, I would not exclude a person based on skin color. I am fascinated by the shiny darkness of black skin, the paleness of some white skin, black men's muscle tone and unique hair texture, white men's blond hair and light eyes, Asian men's eyes and unique facial shape, Hispanic men's caramel color. A nice face is a nice face, no matter the color. But what really matters is how that person treats you.

[@djregina6897]

I SO agree with you. I personally prefer Asian men but my long term boyfriend is half Japanese and half Brazilian so he’s quite different looking. It’s about the chemistry mostly.

[@michaelmatthewd56]

I agree with you but i think the point is if your preference is the only reason why you will not date someone than in my opinion it does make someone racist.

[@codathlete3644]

THATS RACIST!

[@MyAb111]

Carressa- We have Earth camouflaged skin. Not "black" skin. The purpose of human color is to blend us in with nature when we are not living a domesticated zoo animal way of life. Humans started out living in touch with nature.

[@MyAb111]

Carressa- We have Earth camouflaged skin. Not "black" skin. The purpose of human color is to blend us in with nature when we are not living a domesticated zoo animal way of life. Humans started out living in touch with nature. Brown is the Earths most used color.

[@johnmccracken5465]

Why can't it just be that you see someone and think they're good looking? Or that someone isnt?

[@mikaaa_0]

People say “race isn’t a preference “ when really it is for me. I can say that I prefer asian men right? Because of their appearance and personality. And I guess it is a racial preference but I don’t believe it is bad since i am not fetishizing the race.

[@sugarkain2291]

@@mikaaa_0 exactly. It is racist because you're factoring in race with something that shouldn't have anything to do with race. But it's not wrong at all because it's your choice.

[@raulantunez4228]

I do that. But it’s usually white guys. I HAVE been attracted to other races but I usually have more diverse interests in women and mostly just white men.

[@brokengirl8619]

Cuz black skin is attractive, I have white skin. Black voices are hot too.

[@enotsnavdier6867]

That's not possible. Unless racial dynamics in society stop existing then there will always be a question of racism in dating.

[@Mwahaha105]

No having a racial preference does not make you racist.

[@7lol2007]

i am asian, like asian lol... I guess there is something wrong with me?

[@ckc019]

LoOoL i am asian i like asian...gues im racist too now

[@axios3804]

White dude here. And no there isn't. A salute to you my fellow hard working, contributing member of society.

[@Darkless4X]

There's nothing wrong with sticking to your own kind, so you're in good shape.

[@susanneyuk-pingpong8705]

Shame.

[@jacindapeters2303]

Nope nothing wrong with you it's just your preference

[@stefan4159]

No, it isn't racist. I prefer redhead/ginger girls, does this mean "OMGGG I MUST BE A HAIRIST"? This is typical left-wing bull. But what more could I expect from the Guardian...?

[@sandramcintire696]

Stefan and how many black girls have red hair but that racist haha

[@steveclapper5424]

it is a discussion

[@kellyanderson6363]

+Sandra McIntire It's not tho

[@kellyanderson6363]

+Mickey Singh There is nothing wrong with that he is sexually attractive to red heads so what? I am only sexually attractive to white men it's called having a preference...

[@ohnoseven1]

Sandra McIntire.....who wants a hair hat...

[@goldenboy06]

Does having a looks preference when dating make us lookist?

[@televisor9506]

If so, EVERYONE is"looksist"...

[@niceguy1891]

not the same thing

[@goldenboy06]

Döparen it’s all about the benjamins...

[@peripheralhandshaker]

Totally different, if your attracted to a certain shape or feature of someone that is a preference. But if your preference is based off skin colour you have to ask yourself the big question as to why is that. It's always deep rooted.

[@peripheralhandshaker]

@Anonymous Man Are you comparing people to food 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@snootcity]

Looking at the title of this video I can answer simply with one Word. No.

[@williampan29]

+Connor Coonfare thats kind of sad. You can't conclude without information first

[@snootcity]

after watching the video my opinion was unswayed and I felt like a majority of my time had been wasted.

[@xionelectra]

@@snootcity then you didn’t listen.

[@egg-iu3fe]

@@snootcity I can confidently say that you are wrong and that you are, indeed, a racist. Deal with it 😎

[@owenwu7995]

@@xionelectra he's painfully ignorant and uneducated. Trust me - with his attitude, at the very least, his income will suffer, and at the most, he will be in jail for racial discrimination in a couple years of time as society evolves.

[@MrStylesp9]

It's not that deep...different people like different complexions/facial features etc.

[@anrick1362]

Styles P'yall thank you. I don't know why everyone is bringing in all of these extra factors like politics and nonsense. Racial dating preferences(physically) are just as how you explained them.

[@sandramcintire696]

Thank you.

[@kenonerboy]

Its only that simple if you dont ask why

[@shteven1562]

how dare I have a preference?

[@user-zd9fc4vs4q]

@Mafaman lol shut up

[@xybersurfer]

@@user-zd9fc4vs4q no. you shut it

[@redcoolhax]

I personally think that people are more likely to date their own race, since we connect better with people we can relate to, even if it is just skin color. It really is just an evolutionary trait that we tend to date people who share similarities with us, with the obvious exception of gender for straight people.

[@Chris_da_ruler]

Why is that? Please answer

[@nazifachoudhury5836]

Although negative stereotyping probably plays a part, I think a lot of our dating preferences also come from cultural factors, i.e. who will understand and fit in with our culture the most. Also, how you perceive the ethnic groups you grow up with/have direct contact with comes into it too.

[@leescuderi8331]

Right but there are plenty of people of other ethnicities who are very Americanized. Most people I know who are of another race are culturally just like white people.

[@TheMisterFinch]

I think your last sentence describes exactly what they're getting at. No one has a perfectly even image of all sorts of people in their head. The mistake they're making is equating those subtle experience biases which cannot possibly be evened out with "systemic racism".

[@robiebhagwandeen4617]

racial preference is racist because RACE is your physical features such as eyes , nose ,lips etc . her data is what the whole world always says . But all women hate INDIAN AND ARAB MEN NOT BLACK AND ASIAN . they quote this same dating data in every video , they want everyone to feel sorry for black and Asian dudes , but according to hate crime statistics INDIAN AND ARAB GUYS are the most hated . WATCH "WHAT RACE WOULDNT YOU DATE ON KZbin . THEY ALWAYS CALL INDIAN AND ARAB GUYS THE UGLIEST .

[@000274400]

question: So if a lad came to America from England and is British and White, does that mean no American White woman will date him...on account of how his CULTURE is completely different than theirs ?

[@apeachonahill8059]

Liking a certain race is on the same level as a gender preference to me, I’ve never been attracted to anyone who isn’t white, that isn’t racist it’s just a preference.

[@xionelectra]

A preference is a conscious decision if it’s conscious, why? If it’s unconscious, why?

[@the-based-jew6872]

@@xionelectra tribal nature. No such thing as racism. Only tribalism. Ingroup preference.

[@OtherDAS]

Careful, that is next on the line. See Trans.

[@NightMonsterMC]

It’s a little bit racist though unconscious maybe doesn’t change the fact that it is unconsciously racist to only be attracted to one race and not appreciating any type of beauty in other races.

[@user-km4lo8zz6z]

@@NightMonsterMC you just showed you don't know what racism means. go type it in one google and see for your self

[@dan_05w33]

If I find a race attractive it's because of how they physically look not based on their stereotypes that's not dating black people because they are always portrayed to violent which isnt the case, I date who I find pretty

[@73aven]

This part

[@AnaLu07]

Same. I like asian men because I think they look beautiful. Their eyes, usually pale/yellowish skin, usually their appearance have both masculine and femine traits (which i like), usually they don't have much body hair. But not because i think I'll have my "Kdrama Oppa"

[@in_99]

There are evolutionary reasons why people date other people of the same race. It doesn’t make you racist or prejudice. It just makes you human.

[@seanbarry1757]

I find her to be partly correct, cultural stereotypes play a big role in what is deemed attractive and that is definitely something that should change... But having a racial preference is not a bad thing... It's like having a preference for Brunettes or for Short/Tall girls. It's only racist if you refuse to like someone, ONLY because of their ethnicity.

[@seanbarry1757]

also, i burst out laughing at 1:29

[@159753smith]

Having a racial preference is a bad thing cause that implies you have certain stereotypes of how the other race is ie western media, which in itself is racist

[@Ashley-km4qi]

I really hate that people are using the “short/tall” “brunette/blonde” comparison to this when the video is solely focused on skin color.

[@seanbarry1757]

@@Ashley-km4qi that isn’t true, this video is about race. Height and hair colour/form can also be a racial feature

[@cheyenne14320]

@@AlexClayland1232 I can change my hair color I cant change my skin color you are trash

[@larry64161]

Honestly sometimes I don't know what my preference I love darkskin women too

[@vesperentgroup]

Very good question raised. I have spoke about this with many of my friends. I would say attraction is not a choice (in the moment) but it is informed by many things and the media/films/general attitudes is definitely a massive factor. It is like product placement. The fault does not lie in the individual who chooses a certain look/race/class (and even suggesting they are racist is unfair and pointless) but in press/media attitude towards them. There is definitely a clear league table in what race is generally seen a conventional 'sexy.' The video certainly touches on Asian men getting raw deal. Several British Asian friends of mine admitted dressing/acting more 'English' when they were younger to attract white females and get in night clubs etc. without even realising. Also certain races are viewed as having bigger manhood's etc. and some are seen a having generally tiny one's. I am not an expert or have read any conclusive medical research if this is true or not? Some cultures just place more empathise on pleasure/dressing well/having a good body/being social/sex than others who focus on work or just staying alive sadly. When ppl say 'oh the French accent is sexy' they are really saying French culture has cultivated a lifestyle that is sexy/pleasurable and the accent hooks our brain on that. I also think people play up to stereotypes (positively viewed or not) and sometimes becomes a characterise version of themselves. Sadly some people also continue to reinforce negative stereotypes about themselves which just reinforces them (so ppl end up saying 'its only a stereotype because it's true) and possibly thus makes them somewhat true? Bit like a naughty kid being always told he is naughty so it becomes his/her identity and their behaviour backs it up. I find this super interesting... I think an open debate is key and ppl not feeling attacked to voice their feelings, instincts and true feelings. So staying away from words such as 'racist' in this instant is useful to achieve that. No body choices and deserves to attacked for who they are attracted to but maybe it is being chooses for us?

[@pinklemonade6597]

In school we were talking about racism with a group of people and one of them said oh yeah my brother was having a go at me when i said i wouldn't date a black girl because its just my preference and he was like its not racist its just my preference(this was awkward for me because im a black girl) i didn't really know what to say tbh

[@ceanneharris8183]

Honestly, I find that that is racist. Having a preference is not saying who you are not attacted to. Having a preference is saying who you ARE attracted to, and everyone else falling outside for that preference would be a "maybe" not a straight out "no".

[@LPloppG]

@@ceanneharris8183 I agree, I think it's racist too. Why go out of your way to say who you're NOT attracted to?

[@ceanneharris8183]

@@AlexClayland1232 Okay. You sound like an anti-black, self hating black man.👍🏾 As you just exemplified by saying your “preference” is white and Asian women and it didn’t take too long, this other guy could do the same.

[@OtherDAS]

@@ceanneharris8183 Or he sounds like a reasonable person who understand just like you can have something you are attracted to, there can be stuff you are repelled by. Seems like you are salty because he doesn't pick you.

[@mylittledashie7419]

Okay, I noticed this about myself a couple years back, I realised that I'm generally a lot more attracted to white women, than I am any other racial type, but to me, as a white man, surely that makes sense? For one thing, I grew up in Scotland, where there isn't a huge amount of ethnic diversity, at least not as much as some other places, so I don't come across people of other races all that often, which just means I'm not as used to it. Now that may sound racist in and of itself; that I have to get "used" to other races, but if you never saw a person of a different race until you were about 7 years old, you can understand why it might take someone off guard. Having passed by thousands of only white people and suddenly coming across one black person, they will stand out, because lets not beat around the bush, they do look different. But more than that, surely this could just have evolutionary roots? If your ancestors have been banging other people of the same race all throughout your lineage, which depending on where you live, they very well might have been, then wouldn't it make sense for you to find people of your own race more attractive than others? If all races prefer to be with they're own race (for the most part) surely *that's* the logical conclusion and not that the media is somehow swaying us to think that for example, black women are all angry, "baby mommas" (which if I'm honest I'm not even sure what that is), uneducated or fat (which you could tell from their fucking profile picture if we're sticking with the dating app motif, so it's not even relevant).

[@marleystone23]

Liking your own kind doesn't make you racist.

[@mr.coolmug3181]

Vincent Freel It is evolutionary. We are genetically designed to want to be with our own. On top of that, the assumption of similar upbringing, likes, dislikes, are all attributed to race, whether we like it or not. This doesn't mean we shouldn't go with other races, but it's an individual choice. It does mean we should be sensible, and not let hundreds of thousands of brown people into our country, if it's going to lead to civil war. Watch this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iWK8Z2xpmLh5bac

[@lovelypacific]

I think tending to date inside your own race is alright, but when one blatantly says "I would never date a (black, Asian, Mexican, Native American) woman" there is something a bit racist a bout it, especially if your a white man/woman in a society that inadvertently celebrates white people and erases or stereotypes other races. I'm mainly referring to western media, which is popular globally and is widely known to be affecting cultures of different countries worldwide currently.

[@lovelypacific]

***** i literally said dating inside your own race is alright..... Just if you say "i don't date black/Asian guys" it is lowkey racist and highkey rude... Do what u want girl, I'm sure some randomn girl on the internet can't stop you. I'm actually 100% right but I don't care enough about your life to write you a 1000 word essay with references to convince you what I'm saying makes sense. So, whatever.

[@mylittledashie7419]

Ada banana. Wow 100% right? Arrogant much? Fuck, I agree with you, but there's no need to be so up your own arse about it.

[@shaynorthan101]

Omg her hair is amazing.

[@LordSolidusI]

HAHHAHA Best comment ever

[@alvaro2326]

This is racist

[@rvgolez3135]

Oh yeah because I shouldn't be able to choose whoever I want to have a relationship with even though I am free to do because you know, racism.... -___-

[@chlo_xo333]

I think its mostly just bc of how people look, different races have different features, if someone finds a certain race's features particularly attractive/unattractive that's not racist, however if they become hateful and make racist comments, that's an entirely different thing

[@MyAb111]

Malarkey.. All humans share the same features.. Different cultures look different because when a culture deems a certain trait useful, or attractive, that trait gets bred across the entire civilization. Like height for example. Our culture is obsessed with height while Asian cultures think it's better to be small because smaller people live longer.

[@jeffjohnston7642]

Why do people hide on line? Why not just go out and meet people? I still find on line dating creepy. It's like "Hi, I've got no social skills" or "Hi, I'm too busy working to ever go out." No awkward moments of "I prefer middle eastern people" when meeting in person.

[@xionelectra]

You’ve got the right idea pal but then they’ll just come up with some other lie so they don’t have to deal with the consequences of their choices

[@bjiunal6687]

If you don’t want to date a particular type of people, don’t feel badly about it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s what makes you who you are. Be you with pride.

[@50centricher9]

Uh yes there is something wrong with you. Don't lie to yourself. But it's better off for the people being discriminated against, they don't need to be in a shallow, diluted, unworthy persona presence anyway.

[@50centricher9]

@@Atlas718 ...yes there is something wrong with people like that. don't try to make up excuses for being a lousy *shallow* human being. to answer your other questions, *yes* they have a problem in their head. there's no excuse you could use to justify being a pathetic bigot or like I said, a *shallow* being. What matters is *who* someone is spiritually. content of character is what's important. if you're willing to belittle or treat someone less than because they don't *look* a certain way, it says everything about you. Now move around and don't try to convince me that theres "nothing wrong with" being a lame excuse for a human. because that's all you're doing

[@Ivan244545456456]

bla bla bla, the media portrays bla bla bla

[@thehoneyeffect]

^ white dude

[@frwit9568]

^ black chick

[@thehoneyeffect]

Fr Wit ^white dude or wannabe white dude and or someone that does not care about black women ...mildly misogynistic boy who doesn't want anyone to see his face.

[@Ivan244545456456]

Straw man for the win

[@frwit9568]

thehoneyeffect Spot-on.

[@RosaLuxembae]

Is it wrong to say you prefer blonds? As long as you're not forcing anyone else to not choose other races. It's your choice.

[@kelandriaholiday7986]

You can dye your hair, I cannot make my skin another color.

[@munmunmurmur4920]

Kelandria Holiday You also can’t force someone to love you

[@juanestebanaliaga1065]

Rejecting someone because of their skin color it's deeper than rejecting someone due to their hair color

[@pebbles92able]

It isn't wrong. Do you, boo.

[@alijabbar6278]

@@kelandriaholiday7986 you can't change your skin color and that person DON'T have to love you! simple.

[@jayboirockshc8244]

I’m black and I don’t think I’m attractive much to black women / dark skin. Think of what ya want to think because idc.

[@thekulturebeast]

No it does not. End of story. As a gay man I feel we're fighting a whole new battle for individual choice but this time against the left rather than the right .

[@christiansnaturestudio6599]

People can get easily offended over a person's standards or anything. We have free choice.

[@ricodelta1]

I like dating people that like to keep in shape and are fit. Does that mean I hate people who are overweight? Or what if a white guy is more sexually attracted to a woman of another race, does that imply that he is a racist towards white chicks? The whole argument is stupid from the word go.

[@toolazytoname7651]

you can love certain races but please don't hate the other races

[@bonitamartin4954]

Almost everyone has a "type," that they're attracted to. I'm very picky, but that doesn't mean I'm racist,

[@isupportthecurrentthing5225]

This isn't a sexual democracy. Get over it.

[@whyme3772]

You're probably a white dude behind that monitor lol

[@itskelvinn]

Im an asian male and its not stereotypes... Its height. 95% of women are accustomed to wanting a really tall partner. Asian women would more likely be attracted to me because their average height is 4-5 inches less than a white woman

[@comrade3186]

It's not racist if you only prefer your race while dating. But when comes to black races (African and Indians) we always choose someone who doesn't looks like us or has dark skin.

[@jimmymyers8753]

Will I soon be forced to date a gay man? Thank you , James .

[@BellicaTV]

no, just don't discriminate against other races.

[@abandonedfragmentofhope5415]

If he's not sexually attracted to men then fine.

[@loverofjesus4856]

BUTTORFLĒOGE EXTRATÖNE simply doing the act is not discriminatory. Actively talking down against another race, comparing races, stereotyping, that’s what’s discrimination. Are you that dumb?

[@dianedong1062]

I think the opening question is ridiculous. Regardless of how wonderful a person's personality is, if I'm just not physically attracted it's not as if I can change my mind about it. Not wanting to date someone doesn't mean I don't like that person.

[@TheTonyspik]

But the reasoning for that attraction or nonattraction is what's to think about. To have a racial preference or exclude an entire race of people from one's idea of "attraction" has not been proven to be natural

[@D28TX]

Basing it off physical attraction is understandable but also totally different from racial preference.

[@alijabbar6278]

@@TheTonyspik How about letting people do what they want to do in their own love-lives, not looking for things to be offended by, and actually doing something productive with your life?

[@TheTonyspik]

@@alijabbar6278 that's your defense to racial discrimination? Goodbye 👋🏽

[@alijabbar6278]

@@TheTonyspik you are free to call people whatever you want. it does not change their preferences. even if it is racism (which is not!), why people want to date with a racist in the first place?

[@carolwiley7116]

I really don't know a lot about relationships mostly because I never dated anyone before and I prefer to focus on my studies but what I do know is for me I just want to find someone that is just a decent person and not a jerk like most people I've met I think the main reason for this racial preference is not just stereotypes but also because of closed minded people. But that's just my opinion.

[@MagiMysteryTour]

Are we REALLY supposed to feel morally obligated to deliberately date people of different races? To do so is EXACTLY what she referred to at 2:00 as "becoming someone's political statement". If you *demand* that I force myself to be attracted to a quota-based sampling of all races, then you are making "dating" a political statement. Nobody is OBLIGATED to be attracted to anyone else. "Hello white guy. I'm a black woman. I noticed you haven't fulfilled your quarterly quota of black girlfriends. Therefore, you are obligated to take me, or one of my black friends, to dinner at least, sometime within the next 90 days. If you fail to do so, you will be charged with second-degree Racism and summoned to appear in court, at which time a court-appointed woman of African ancestry will be presented to you and you will be expected to show her a good time for at least one evening for a period of not less than 3 hours. To avoid this unfortunate situation, please log into your OkCupid account ASAP and select a woman of African ancestry within the next 7 days, and send at least one private message telling her you think she is beautiful."

[@Nihilist101]

panic attack yeh prefer is different than a requirement

[@Nihilist101]

panic attack Wb asian females? Lmao

[@Nihilist101]

panic attack that’s the stupidest thing I have heArd. Majority go for white men

[@johncrichter]

do you have something against women of other races though? you legit sound disgusted by this notion. the video is asking you if you are brushing aside whole ethnicities because of stereotypes as well as attraction.

[@Chris_da_ruler]

No I truly don't give af I just don't have friends of different backgrounds because I know the real

[@AK-iu2mp]

In some cases, I was victim of racism here in Canada and this is what I just did: I speak in French instead to the aggressor; I have done that many times and usually it works; if it is like this indirect form of racism (much more frequent) where a “local” or even sometimes some Immigrants try to look down in me, I just called a friend of mine (who is usually free) and start to chat loudly in french with him!! And believe it or not, my French accent is 99% close to perfection although I do not look like a white French guy… but see… this is exactly why it is very amusing as you can barely imagine how most people act by seeing me talking in French!! Just say something like “… je reste pour une année en plus ici au Canada (make sure you say Canada to attract their attention) Et après je bouge sur Paris….”

[@jayzbeez765]

I just love the categories: White, Black, Asian What are people from Peru? What about the clear difference between Asian people as Asia the continent spans from Turkey to Indonesia and Korea and Russia.. Those people are nothing alike and still in one group. After watching this I gotta say I'm happy to not be British/American, I can't imagine growing up in such a race oriented culture. In my home country nobody gives a rats ass about skin color or heritage, there's surely discrimination but compared to the British/American scale it's minor. My 2 cents.

[@johncrichter]

i grew up in america and i see people as people. sadly, as a black man no matter where i go in the world people expect trouble from me. even though im adopted and raised by white people.

[@reallondong3752]

Ur a smart guy

[@a.c.guerra9850]

@@johncrichter as a white man. I've been in ohio for about 20 years. And florida about 16 years. Ive noticed a huge difference. In ohio most of my friends were black. In florida mostly hispanic. In ohio i have almost never witnessed someone treating someone ill over their color. But in florida have seen many times racism. I dont know if its because its a melting pot and just lots of tension??

[@mauriciorv228]

@@johncrichter your last name is german. U aren’t fully black

[@theisheep2676]

@@mauriciorv228 Yes he is !

[@bonsummers2657]

Who to make babies with is strongly part of the question of: "Who do want to physically make more of?" That's yours and your partner's genetics passing on. Physical genetics are more certain than character genetics. Who do you want to see more of in the world?

[@davidmurray2964]

When it comes to inter-racial dating it is usually white girls with black men and hardly ever white men with black women. btw having a preference is not racist but it may be biased.

[@garrusn7702]

David Murray Its about 3 to 1 in that regard. However. White and black people aren't all that exist.

[@XKenpopx]

Haha I only date white guys I see it a lot where I’m from so idk about that

[@michaelmatthewd56]

Actually white in Spanish are thr highest dating but talked about are white and black. There are negative and positive reasons for that

[@janestone1849]

@Mr FancyPup lol Black women have a strong negative preference AGAINST white men. Even if white men were chasing after them, I don't think the numbers would change.

[@chrisb6484]

@@janestone1849 says you

[@steverobinson1868]

I'm so late to this party. However allow me to say having a preference isn't a bad thing, people make it to be that way. This world is built on diversity and one should never be made shamed for wanting difference. Like someone mentioned as long as you don't put down someone else race.

[@RebeccaJ720]

So what if one has a preference for an ethnic group that's usually seen as "negative" by others such as Asian men or black women?

[@mannykng]

My truth is that I find virtually all women attractive regardless of race but in terms of behavior and attitude, I am very selective.

[@ThomasC3075]

I agree with a lot of points you made but as a white man in a relationship with a black woman I personally think there is some clam based thinking involved, kind of "well your black and I'm black so we must know each other better" or just the examples set by our parents, if both of your parents are white your more likely to date white, maybe I'm just overthinking that

[@songyoung4969]

Alice Rabbit May be you guys should have not colonised those countries with black and Asian origins to start with?They never ask you guys to be there, you were never invited to be there, but you guys went there anyway by force wasn't it?

[@songyoung4969]

John Howard Go back to school

[@Neonagi]

Says Chang, while China colonizes Africa right now. Even the natives and Chinese there agree that they had it much better and more fair under European colonialism.

[@SneakySnek-rt7mo]

Am I racist (as a 21 year old Asian woman) for being sexually attracted to only white guys so far? However, I'll be more than happy to be friends from any race as long as they're a decent human being? I was raised with the mind set that everyone should be treated with respect until proven otherwise but I gravitate more towards white guys in attractiveness. So please, I would really like to know.

[@nomg563]

You don’t need validation for your choice. Do you! Everyone will always have an opinion or some sort of remark.

[@SneakySnek-rt7mo]

@Beef_yo 2 years later I can say I got myself one of my own. Have not been unsatisfied ever since. Neither with the man attached to it. Known the guy for over 6 years now.

[@afroman5160]

Nope I am a mixed african american only date black women. I can't help what I am attracted too. If I did would have more options. Don't think people like that our racist.

[@LordSolidusI]

Exactly. If someone with darker skin is only attracted to people with dark skin that is fine. Just as it is fine for me as a white male to only be attracted to white women.

[@afroman5160]

@@LordSolidusI I agree seems like society. Wants black or white guys too always interacially date.

[@afroman5160]

@@LordSolidusI No problem with it but prefer too stick with the culture Im comfortable with.

[@Angel-ip7pw]

It depends if your racial preference is: “i like this race more” vs “eewww id never date a person of x race”

[@theisheep2676]

Yh, the latter is bad !

[@JordannGeorge]

The thing is people act like racial preferences exist in a vacuum without racism and prejudices. Also, there is a fine line between liking a race more and fetishization.

[@the-based-jew6872]

@@JordannGeorge most people who date a race only outside of their race are usually fetishising. At least from what I've seen.

[@robinwilliams6970]

I guees the question is, would you prefer to date someone who finds you attractive and engaging or someone who sees you as their good deed?

[@xionelectra]

That’s not the question and you shouldn’t be doing that either

[@Chris_da_ruler]

O so white men are the most attractive

[@mrossainz]

After reading so many comments, I wonder how many people have ever read the actual definition of racism... It has nothing to do with preference.

[@Monkey-cu4lo]

Ikr

[@Ytremz]

I think the point is that racism can influence racial dating preferences.

[@doomvictor3934]

​@@Ytremz Exactly but that seems to be go ing over MANY peoples heads

[@owenwu7995]

they don't want to examine themselves and educate themselves, but it will eventually become illegal to just like in the housing market or job market to be racist.

[@brokengirl8619]

as a bisexual, For men, black skin is attractive, I have white skin. Black voices are hot too. FreeTime women, I prefer white women cuz features, skin tone, etc. That's just how I am. Its what I'm attracted too.

[@antiracistbaby1085]

As a brown man...I prefer white girls, just my preference...You can't change biology

[@Sky-gt4fp]

NO!!!!!! Simple answer , you just answered the question in the first 10 seconds

[@christiansnaturestudio6599]

Agreed

[@kathrinealdridge1592]

Apparently to my ex from college, I'm a racist for having a race preference when he was bi racial and one of the races of his genectic makes up was of one I am not usually attracted to. I found that judgement completely unfair and cruel considering how you can meet someone who's esthetic appeal can take you by surprise and also he asked me the question.

[@johnj.anthonymcquade6876]

yet he was dating you doesn't make sense darling that he dates a white woman and calls her racist for not having a racial preference for bi racial men yet your white hes bi racial or black and you two are dating doesn't make much sense how are you racist then?

[@MyAb111]

It's all cultural conditioning that starts in childhood. You like what your culture tells you is attractive..

[@50centricher9]

You're a lame. End of story

[@Chris_da_ruler]

So some races are not aesthetically pleasing ? Please go into detail

[@twostepz4982]

It’s real. Racial stereotypes DOES spread misconceptions in dating culture. Without even attempting to go outside your race, the only thing you know is where you live is likely where you date. Movies, magazines, and tv shows is the easiest thing people will bring up these topics. That’s a fact.

[@nigelhinds7356]

I love all races

[@neilpapier7384]

If there's one thing i disagree with, it's disagreeable people.

[@LCTmusic683]

I have a preference for humans, does that make me an animalist? I prefer women, am I homophobic? A gay man prefers men, is he misogynistic? A woman prefers bigger men, is she discriminating against thin guys? Do you see where this flawed ridiculous thinking takes us? I honestly think people are just butt hurt because you find yourself upset that a man or woman of color won't date you because they don't find you attractive. It's not because you're ugly, they just have a preference. Please stop trying to make everything into a social world issue. Having a preference for the way your significant other looks is not being racist. Nobody should be forced to date someone that they don't want to in order to appease society. If you want to date someone of color, great! If you don't, that's okay too.

[@yasminedey8612]

I think one should also consider that e.g. European females even if from mixed background prefer Caucasians, as they are more similar to their own cultur or religion. This is though not rascist but merely represents the search and hope for a better understanding which is a necessity in a relationship or to start a family. I myself am mixed but European, so after dating all kinds of races and nations, I experienced the understanding in the relationship better with a European, even if I don't have a physical preference.

[@theisheep2676]

What do you mean by caucasian. You mean people from the caucasus mountains

[@yasminedey8612]

@@theisheep2676 I mean the Caucasian race, so European and near East.

[@justadreamerforgood69]

@@yasminedey8612 You look Indian lol

[@yasminedey8612]

@@justadreamerforgood69 indeed! I am genetically to 45% 😉

[@justadreamerforgood69]

@@yasminedey8612 Since it's such an odd number as 45% and not 50% I'm guessing race mixing has been going on since more than just your parents. Correct?

[@SCWoodbury2009]

I don't deny that culture plays a role in all of this to a certain extent. But so doesn't biology. I am a white man whose been married to an Asian woman for almost ten years now. Before I met my wife I dated Spanish women, black women, and white women with dark hair. I've always preferred brunettes, dark skin, and dark eyes. I think Lady GaGa had it right ...we're born with our sexuality.

[@user-ol2gx6of4g]

You are wrong. What sex you are attracted to is an in-born trait. What type of person you are attracted to is your preference shaped throughout your life.

[@garrusn7702]

Spanish women are white.

[@isaacder3i121]

Proof? Seems like a double standard.

[@isaacder3i121]

Yes, spanish women are white.

[@nooryaahmed5451]

Shane Woodbury haha she only with u cuz you white 🤦‍♀️

[@thecreativemillenial]

I'm straight but doesn't mean homophobic i won't date anyone under 21 or over 35 but doesn't make me an agest

[@pmf598]

No sign of Mona joining in the discussion here . . . but the question has to be asked . . is she obsessed by racism ?

[@sarahturgeon8895]

Who cares?!!! I mean even if it is racist, who cares...so it's racist....or not.....again, who cares??

[@halcyoncaduceus3711]

Um.. You showed a picture of Jackie Chan during your rant about Asians.... How dare you say Jackie Chan isn't sexy, let alone the sexiest man alive.

[@roycriddle4424]

Lmao because he's not

[@elijahpew9270]

Agreed, Jackie Chan is sexiest.

[@ChenelleAvallone]

Amazing, love it!

[@uomodonore245]

Maybe people simply prefer to date those that feel they have things in common with. People not only tend to date within their race but also within a similar age group.

[@mmmeee24]

I truly don't understand this. I've dated mostly white men and asian men. I date a white man, I'm racist, I date an asian man, I've been told that's racist. There really is no winning.

[@brandonpayne4887]

It's okay to have a type

[@christiansnaturestudio6599]

I agree.

[@Jambuc829]

A type has nothing to do with race.

[@bibinthomas5282]

@@Jambuc829 im not into black women,call me racist I don't care...their hair isn't appealing to me,i like my indian women with long hair

[@pheksy]

i left a long comment - polite , no swearing . just making a point . and its been deleted . so much for free speech - i clock you guardian

[@jonlong2663]

They just want others to accept their views.

[@jeffjohnston7642]

Someone saved us from reading a boring post maybe?

[@PlasmaMongoose]

Which would be less problematic: 1/Dating someone from a different race but similar/same background. or 2/Dating someone from a similar/same race but very different background.

[@PlasmaMongoose]

Snake Plissken Can someone be both a MGTOW and a SJW? I wouldn't mind listening to a debate on whenever that is truly possible or not.

[@masterbonzala]

PlasmaMongoose I don't disvalue anyone for any of those reasons. I still do however, feel less attracted to women of certain ethnicities as well as their background and personality *naturally*. Does that also make me a racist? I'm a bit concerned

[@Edbrad]

Snake Plissken Firstly maybe he was being sarcastic, and second of all the question is kind of rhetorically anti-SJW

[@sophakingcool5532]

PlasmaMongoose i think this is beyond race.. this is classicism

[@zebedeerotten533]

+Check Norres the people that say racist only do so normaly to distact a lie somewhere a lot of people that say racist believe thet its ok so sleep with kids so they are all pedos anyway

[@DavidJohnson-dc8lu]

I find me attractive so I definitely want some of my qualities in a partner. Brown/black skin, big lips, a bit of a backside and just some meat and rhythm. I am even starting to get obsessed with Afros.

[@Strawn149]

And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s your body and your life.

[@bibinthomas5282]

My man u got afros if ur black... why's it astonishing for u to like the same thing

[@vclarke4433]

Preferring someone from within your own culture is perfectly normal. HOWEVER, the moment you associate race with culture and discriminate or show preference because of that, you’re being racist. Racial preferences are inherently racist. Even if you’re an advocate against discrimination, the moment you say you like one race over another, you’re being racist.

[@danielhernandez-vo9zc]

vclarke4433 well I like women from all races, really have a thing for asian and whites women I guess since that’s what I mostly get. However it’s nit racist if they’re making a choice of who’s going to enter a woman’s body. If a black girl only wants black guys then let her be, her body, her rules.

[@lewisskinner7027]

Whites 4 whites , black 4 blacks , asians 4 asians and yellow 4 yellow , just my opinion , every1 entitled to their own opinions.

[@egg-iu3fe]

how about people just admit that they have racial biases, you're not the saint you think you are

[@randomguy7624]

im not homosexual, does that make me homophobic?

[@Rielestkid]

Hmm, she's made some good points. I'm just not sure what she's saying is totally accurate. Black women are portrayed in all different types of ways. Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Kerry Washington, Gabrielle Union, Rhianna, etc. All black women portrayed as sexy as fck, because they are. The girl from Precious; Gabourey Sidibe isn't being 'portrayed' as overweight... she is overweight, obese. There's examples of unattractive women on screen from all walks of life. I think more times than not, art really does imitate life, and maybe it's not always 100% accurate, but I don't think it's inaccurate enough to influence dating preference. Asian men don't do well with women because in the Western world, Asian men have different priorities like doing well in school, progressing in their career field, all before courting women. Not because they aren't getting the lead part in a role. Black men, from what I've seen have no issues with getting women in real life, could be skewed in online dating.

[@evil999]

Id add that if anyone of the hot girls you mentioned, kerry w, gabielle union etc were on a dating site they would be flooded with messages. No doubt about it....

[@Rielestkid]

Yup. That's probably true. I think we have to keep in mind the types of people that use dating services in the 1st place. Ok Cupid is like the bottom of the barrel when it comes to finding a mate. It's cool that they release their data though.

[@Rielestkid]

Windy Johnson if celeb status eclipses physical appearance then we'd be talking about how sexy Precious is. Btw how does Beyoncé conform to white standards of beauty? She often wears braids, she played a character in a movie with an Afro almost the whole time. She shows off her curves and body that is more commonly found on woman of color... I did think that make-up commercial she did where she's labeled "Native American" was weak though lol. Other than that I don't think she's conformed to anything.

[@anglozombie2485]

AR 15s This video is liberal bullshit. Like you said she only showed bad side but hell white guys get in bad roles too. So what?

[@CriticalThinker02]

It’s not so much the way races are presented TO us... it’s the way races present themselves. Especially when it comes to culture.

[@yhwhyhwh8197]

Nobody is OBLIGATED to be attracted to anyone else

[@chriscowell6279]

I don't think it makes you racist because your in title to feel what you feel like what you like, want what you want, prefer certain things and have your own opinion about who you feel comfortable with and find attractive. For example I am a white guy that prefers Black girls,Hispanic girls and Asian Girls over white girls but it doesn't make me racist because I don't treat white girls poorly just because there not part of my dating preference .

[@RNS_Aurelius]

Having a racial preference does not make you racist and does not have to be fueled by racial stereotypes. Yes there are a minority who believe stereotypes and and will avoid intimacy with certain groups but I doubt many people put as much thought into their partners race as suggested in this video.

[@RosaLuxembae]

There is a correlation between race and BMI (which is why there are different over/under weight categories for different races), is that related?

[@RosaLuxembae]

Medically black people have a slightly higher "healthy" BMI range and Asians have a slightly lower range.

[@isabelgaby7947]

It’s normal having a preference,this is not about being racist.

[@Competitive_Antagonist]

Some of us just can't be fucked with all the stereotype nonsense. Can't people just accept that some have a preference for certain features, which happen to be more predominant in other races? If it's about racism then it wouldn't make sense how I would be attracted to women that don't fall into cliche stereotypical roles.

[@BenWillock]

Isn't trying to tell women who they should or shouldn't be attracted to the exact opposite of feminism?

[@ltz888]

There's nothing wrong with finding someone with close cultural compatibility, if you like eating rice and noodles everyday like me, then yes, it's more likely that another Asian would tolerate that. However, to dismiss people based on their skin colour is twisted. If someone was culturally similar to me, but happened to be a different skin colour, I'm sure we'd understand each other just as well as me getting along with another Asian person. I've never seen any of my relationships as being wildly different from me, at the end of the day, we were brought up with compatible values.

[@dapperblue1764]

This video is spot on! I completely agree with everything that was said!

[@shane4018]

When you are making a diagram or chart, please label your X and Y axis and include your measurements. Then it will actually convey some sort of... information. 😑

[@chrisedwards2272]

Good old Guardian pushing interracial propaganda.

[@vinnybruce2874]

I'm never a racist I could date any race if I want to longest they treat me right and have great conversations with each other that's my opinion. And better class.

[@anthony9580]

I've read the title, and skipped the video. My answer to title of the thumbnail is NO!

[@tulesg2008]

It is NOT racist to prefer to date in your own culture,ethnicity, is easier less complicated. Is racist if you LOOK down on other ethnicities because of you thinking yours is or matters the most... The idea is to follow your heart.. but in the media we only follow the comfort of what we see in a picture..

[@author_tiffany_dionne]

Interesting. My family is African American and my both of my brother's prefer Caucasian woman. One brother's preferences are based upon his bias towards black women. We grew up in a predominantly white suburb in Michigan and even though we were hardly around any other black families, he bought into the idea of the loud, angry, ghetto black woman. (Our mother is not that way at all). He is extremely racist towards black women based upon stereotypes. However, my other brother has dated all races of women, but just naturally prefers white women. It is infuriating seeing one brother date white woman because he hates black women. We all have our preferences, but they are damaging when they're based in hatred and racism.

[@josephvalentine7]

Don’t let your brothers fool you . Only a black man can give the black woman her rightful position in society.

[@johnj.anthonymcquade6876]

@@josephvalentine7 lol yeah joseph you do that buddy while i date me some petite japanese asian or irish/english/america/canadian white women lol haha lol yeha man yeha

[@maserati925]

Thats because a large faction of black Americans women are that way, I’ve only met one or two that were mild mannered or mellow in their personalities.