Does My Partner Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His/Her Family? Enmeshment

[@Dyanlavieestbelle]

The gaslighting from partner who always defends the mother, even when the comments and behaviour are incredibly rude and inappropriate really hurts.

[@redpilledprophet8829]

My mother in law stated that the day my husband & I got married 27 years ago was the worst day of her life. I must be a really bad person! smh

[@Iamlonndanicole]

It’s sad that it took the death f the mother for peace.

[@iitsgrace8934]

I recently found out what i was dealing with and it's nice knowing im not crazy. I tell my husband, cut the umbilical cord already.

[@kss7394]

My mother in law is definitely enmeshed with my husband. Her husband died years ago and he wasn’t very nice to her. Sometimes she tries to invite herself to personal events with my husband and I. She’s writes these long letters to him all the time. She texts and calls him everyday and calls multiple times a day. I thought these things were healthy until I noticed her slipping up calling my husband HER husband multiple times to me 🥴. She’s nice to me, she’s helpful, but their relationship is annoying because she does too much. I can tell my husband is bothered by her lack of boundaries and corrects her but she still doesn’t hold to them.

[@janethuseyin9055]

So sad that after 46 yrs married my husband has never seen the light, his been so enmeshed with his mother that he always tended to her needs, she was never wrong in his eyes and even now he can not see the enmeshment or simply does not want to see it. unfortunately his mother is a covert narcissist and manipulated him and believe it or not had total control over him.

[@AM-sq9sn]

Just figuring this out with my partner after 5 years and and one child. ughhhh ( i couldn’t figure it out after all these years and i had an oh shit moment recently and figure it all out .. i couldn’t pinpoint what the family dynamic was all these years…) Thank you 🙏

[@aks2432]

Same here but how do I say it to my husband? He will think i’m crazy

[@shade1427]

I know with my gf she is very enmeshed w her mom. They text almost incessantly through out the day, every day up until bed time. And she hangs out with her, despite her having friends. I find it astounding that she doesnt spend the same time communicating with me or spending time with her friends. It's weird and painful.

[@leigha1023]

You deserve more

[@gigistrailsandtales7203]

This conversation is concerning to me. With these mother’s, there is no having them understand you. They never will. Solid boundaries and protection of the marriage is number one. Kenneth Adams is who you need to read and listen to. Because this can affect a marriage forever, dead mom or not. And it doesn’t heal without accepting that she’s toxic and won’t see or support your side.

[@melodysanquist4834]

Wow! Spot on. My live in boyfriend and I made a great team and had a good life anytime his adult daughter wasn’t meddling in our business. I moved out almost 3 months ago because being alone is much more peaceful than wondering what she was going to pull next.

[@Grelotmystiqueetal]

Mother-in-law who cleans and cook without permission; take away the key

[@gigistrailsandtales7203]

Change the locks!

[@gigistrailsandtales7203]

You know she’s had a copy made! 😉

[@bellamarie1977]

I’m listening to this and find that your mom has done the right thing. If she had not stated to you how your father’s behavior was wrong, as a boy, you would have thought you as a grown man should behave that way to your wife… since your father was unable to live by example in the right way, then your mother was forced to make an example of your father in what not to do… as far as resenting him, that’s your own feelings and unfortunately your father didn’t provide a safe enough relationship with you, that would have allowed you to come to your father and let him know that watching your mom, “your mom” work hard to have him come home to a clean house at the end of the day and him completely dismiss it or not acknowledge that, was something that was hurtful to you, because it’s your mom and u knew it hurt her. However I am a mother of boys, experienced the same behavior from my husband, but I did go directly to my husband, but I did call him out in front of our boys, so not only would my husband know how I felt, my boys would know it’s not ok.. however, if I kept going un acknowledged, I wouldn’t clean up and then he can see what it’s like to come home after work to no dinner, no clean house and did this for a while, so he had a comparable of what it would be like to not have it clean and not have dinner ready. Husbands get spoiled sometimes and don’t know life any other way. After a few months of going on strike, he noticed when it was clean and dinner was ready, boy he was sure appreciative after that. Lol

[@ds6258]

I agree and experience the same. Maybe his mother should've/could've worded things differently, or maybe it was the fact that it was coming from his mother? While I agree with everything else in the podcast, I don't feel she was necessarily looking for validation or that it was some boundary that was crossed. I think she was trying to teach her son how to be a man and express that a woman/wife isn't an employee with free room and board. The son very clearly expressed his father wasn't present outside of providing financially. I personally feel the dinner table incident was his own "a-ha" moment and he needs to address that separately, rather than put the blame on his mom. The other issues are definitely red flags, but I just can't agree with that one.

[@gigistrailsandtales7203]

Oh Ashlynn….she would NEVER get you…these type of people never ever do.

[@BethLove333]

Thank you very much for this video. I am just learning about this and feel so sad right now.

[@mariastewart9861]

I know this is an old podcast but you mentioned that your husband was sneaking around. I can relate to that and am wondering 1) how did you find out; and 2) how did you address it? When I have addressed it I have been met with extreme denial and rage. Thanks!

[@lovelv1278]

That meana GUILTY . narcissists do not like to be called out - i am highly aware of this being raised by a covert malignant narcissist mother, a narc sister & a raging narc brother . As well as a narc sister in law who has also gaslit me & dismissed me when i called her out on her shit years ago . My younger brother is married to her - he is a sex addict i believe emeshed w narc mother . No boundaries at all . His whole marriage is exposed by either him to my mother or his wife to my mother ( her mother wasn't interested in being involved in their drama ) but my good ole mother surely was! Beyond toxic & dysfunctional!! My mother tried to throw my brother under the bus to me telling me his personal biz & i called him & told him to keep his marriage issues to himself . Nope . He cannot phathom our mother USED US ALL . im the scapegoat the problem child. There is incest w this brother as well but its all blocked . Im wondering if he was also molested by the uncle who molested me . I am no contact w all my siblings now - they are all toxic & dysfunctional my mother being leader of that pact !

[@saundracohen4032]

This was amazing. Great work! 👏

[@gigistrailsandtales7203]

There’s so much ick around this. I’m living it and working on it and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So much pain.

[@user-yj8tw5yz9d]

I have this problem with my boyfriend’s sister. He’s been taking care of her all her life. She lives with us. She can’t keep a job. She feels like the other women

[@boldwarrior2196]

Bring adult stuff into kids let kids be kids

[@leigha1023]

Are they are still together because his Mom passed? Honestly can they really speak much to success with overcoming the dynamic since Mom died?

[@somapathsomatic6377]

My emeshed mother in law and husband, he has allowed her to come behind his back while he was sick and staying with her, to ce tell me and my son, his wife and step son to move out of our marital home, she has tried to serve me evictions everytime he has relapsed, that she instigated. I pay all the bills while they spend each day together, her buying h things

[@amandam2238]

@lambandmintjelly