In my experience, rejecting the modeling reference group can actually be advantageous. If I followed my peers, I would have ended up getting pregnant out of wedlock pretty young, I would not have gone to college, and I would be trapped in poverty. That is actual reality growing up in a low socioeconomic neighborhood. I would argue narcissism can be a great short term strategy to escape your current situation, but in the longrun, it’s a lonely, unhealthy path.
@HltFilms4 ай бұрын
I'm on a similar path and now it takes an enormous amount of work as an adult to be able to form healthy relationships.
@SELPHELPING4 ай бұрын
Children are seismographs. 100 percent truth! I teach teenagers and I can attest to this. Their cruelty and accuracy can rip you apart
@eduardo_him465 ай бұрын
You're not for everybody and that's ok !
@alexdiaz42965 ай бұрын
psychology of peer groups would be extremely useful!
@prokletajerina77545 ай бұрын
Make a video about peer groups, please. 🙂
@cellosong4 ай бұрын
Gifted children often fall into this peer dynamic. It breaks my heart to listen to this video.
@AlastorTheNPDemon5 ай бұрын
I'm on the autism spectrum. This is a perfect description of my hellish version of life.
@fulgore15 ай бұрын
I went through being invisible, to be being popular, to withdrawing ect. I do feel sorry for my peers in teenagehood who were lowest ranked socially. Nevertheless, this did make them study and work hard. And paradoxically in some cases it helped propel them.
@JoeMcKenzie8884 ай бұрын
How tragic that life is... Everyone relating just know you are loved.
@JoButterwick5 ай бұрын
I’m interested in peer groups and would be delighted if you made a video on this topic.
@Now2Sense4 ай бұрын
Your lessons are life changing Sam!
@Musicmaker8.115 ай бұрын
I’m definitely interested in a video about the psychology of peer groups, as well. Looking forward to it!
@autisticautumn73795 ай бұрын
I can relate alot to this .Being frozen and self sabotaging. I am slowly becoming much more self efficacious which has been a game changer for me.
@reviver-death5 ай бұрын
Dear Professor Yes ofcourse i'd like to hear the psychology of peer groups. It would be delightful! As always thank you for sharing your knowledge.
@melliecrann-gaoth47894 ай бұрын
Very, very interesting. I once said to my ex- street angel husband… I am not the enemy
@Skoopyghost5 ай бұрын
As a autistic person. I relate way too much.
@Now2Sense4 ай бұрын
Sam Please make a video in the psicology of peer groups. It seems a fascinating topic.
@Ellajaie5 ай бұрын
He used to say these exact words “ i hate you so much. You don’t understand how much i hate you. You remind me so much of my childhood you trigger everything and i can’t stand you ! I despise you !!! You remind me of my parents who’s relationship i hated !! “ I always used to ask him whether or not i did something for hkn to hate me because i just didn’t understand. He couldn’t answer me.
@debraparker64045 ай бұрын
This is so interesting. Can’t believe how much this one video has taught me. This has brought so much into perspective what my grandkids are thinking. Especially as their having some of the same problems with there piers. And at least two of my five have been suicidal.
@SELPHELPING4 ай бұрын
Sam can you please tell us how to heal from Smear Campaign step wise. Especially if we live in small town and don’t have much scope to avoid the community altogether other than just change work place. Smear campaign feels like a punch in the stomach. It still hurts.
@daathdorothiel5 ай бұрын
By 22' screaming laughing ovation from me. 😅😹 You described most of my friends and some parts of myself. 😂
@yvesalya39145 ай бұрын
Understanding my own imperfection is what made me sympathize with the other's imperfection. ... Understanding is the most important element, it is the difference. Without understanding, those shadows will continue to haunt us, no matter how the external context changes.
@Dani_13th4 ай бұрын
Perfectly explained video on the cycle of narcissism.
@Ashley-yy3de5 ай бұрын
Dr. Vaknin, currently I am no contact with my family due to the approach-avoidance compulsion. They are extremely controlling and use shame as a tool. I wish I was not emotionally affected, but it affects me a lot when they do. Is there a way that I can reconnect and transform our relationship? Is there guidance on resolving the approach-avoidance repetition compulsion? Is it something that cannot be resolved or reduced?
@larisamavromati33025 ай бұрын
You have by far the most unique and accurate insight Dr. Sam 👍 You give me great prospectives and understanding. Thank you ❤️
@sambhavi165 ай бұрын
Thank you sir
@shipratrika25864 ай бұрын
Peers or parents, who use shame as a weapon to bully kids, what are they? Narcs? Or are normal. Normal people don't shame others.
@melliecrann-gaoth47894 ай бұрын
Some people who are not with a personality disorder can willingly be real azzholes . George Simon. Wolf in Sheeps Clothes and character disordered individuals is very interesting and helpful.
@zusunny29765 ай бұрын
So much appreciate these videos. They include chilling messages, and make me track a lot of what was happening in my childhood and those close to me. But the sense of liberation and even intimacy I get from these videos is precious. Thank you so much for what you do.
@AbcAbc-yk6wz5 ай бұрын
Ja! Gör en video om det tack! Gärna en var om allt👑
@JoeMcKenzie8884 ай бұрын
The crazy making push-and-pull. And I could NEVER explain that. Why it was so crazy-making. It was profoundly disturbing to me, unsettling. Now that I cut contact with them for good (yes, I do feel guilty, yes I know they love me on some level), I feel more and more at home in the world, yes, with peers my age, with people, connected, not weird, strange abnormal, like they wanted me to believe. I don't need that strange narcissism to grow and fester inside of me anymore. I can be who I am, I can be vulnerable. Thank you so much for your work, Dr. Vaknin. For a long time, I didn't even notice that I had some form of narcissism myself, because it was so covert. I realize so many things now. Much love.
@JoeMcKenzie8884 ай бұрын
And btw Sam I'm sooo sorry if you experiences this too in your childhood. Others just don't understand, they just think you're spoiled...
@belladonna705 ай бұрын
amazing ,,thank you,
@DilfuzaKHaydarova-e1p5 ай бұрын
I had rejection from peers 3 times and I started seeking other friend and I found out ❤ Thank you Dear Sam Vaknin for sharing knowledge ❤
@natatattful5 ай бұрын
Could you do a video that goes more into the freeze response in the scenario you’ve described here through an ontological lens? Thank you What do you think of Girard’s mimetic theory?
@tanya27005 ай бұрын
Please could you do a video on perpetrators of the bullying the peers.
@Danny-xn9pp4 ай бұрын
Dear Professor, i recognize this matter in a friend of mine. It's brings up a lot of questions to me if you don't mind: Does it make sense to give him this information to give him more insight on a cognitive level? Can it open the box of Pandora for him and is there a risk that he can decompensate even more? Can he misuse this information and strengthen his coping mechanism even more? Do they also suffer from this themselves or do they not feel anything at all about the destructive effect on the others? As you asked, it would be nice to make an special episode on this subject please. Thank you very much!. Kind regards
@JOCECIL5 ай бұрын
Professor, do you think is there any correlation between school mass shotings and what your talking about in this video?
@nothingnessnonarcissism5 ай бұрын
Search my main channel.
@mysatin9eyes5 ай бұрын
I can't get to sleep I think about the implication Of diving in too deep And possibly the complications Especially at night I worry over situations I know will be alright Perhaps it's just imagination Day after day it reappears Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear Ghosts appear and fade away..
@jacksonfour29655 ай бұрын
Beautiful
@lindanicola5 ай бұрын
This song, 'Overkill', had been in my head a lot lately before the narcissist hijacked my brain and my heart.
@mysatin9eyes5 ай бұрын
🛟⭐️⏳️✨️🦋✨️🎩👌
@GattaVerde4 ай бұрын
It would be so nice to hear Professor telling us about the psychology of peer groups (while sipping his red wine). 😉 Another idea: could you ever present some tips on how to deal with groups of difficult adolescents while being their school teacher?
@nothingnessnonarcissism4 ай бұрын
Search my main channel.
@GattaVerde4 ай бұрын
@@nothingnessnonarcissism Thank you, Professor. I dug deep into your videos made 13 years ago and I found your advice 😀
@lindaabraham87154 ай бұрын
Here is an interesting true story, and I hope you can comment: There was a Jewish (secular) German author, born around 1900, who was very successful. He is still well known, although not the following. He had an adoring wife, which is why he married her although he had homosexual tendencies, as she had pursued him for years. He treated her more as a secretary and hostess for his parties than as a wife. She considered herself a "motherly" woman. When he was growing up in an outwardly wealthy home, he had felt neglected by his own mother and resented her very much because she spent so much on clothes that he ate poorly. He also keenly felt the effects of antisemitism, hankered after all things non-Jewish, and held his poorer fellow Jews in great disdain. When the Germans began their major persecutions he was a wealthy man and left Germany... but his mother was too elderly and ill to move, and German doctors were not allowed to treat her. When this man's wife chose to stay in the country to nurse her mother-in-law, the man became so angry he divorced her. He had wanted to abandon his mother to the Nazis.
@Zrunawaybride5 ай бұрын
Albert Ellis taught to love ourselves unconditionally Otherwise this is very scary Oh my gosh Sam youre an incredible teacher TU
@Zrunawaybride5 ай бұрын
Question My siblings grew up with many friends Spoiled But they are actually criminal abusers Felony types against me They are both sociopathic narcs How did they become like that?
@MalgorzataKania-zc5zz5 ай бұрын
Sad Life. Not only we were traumatic as children, but still feel worse in hurting others good for us🧐😂😂😂and the easiest way to stop this is forgiveness.
@michaelclark15015 ай бұрын
Sounds like me
@jaysilverberg5 ай бұрын
Brittany s don't want no scrubs
@rudeb73 ай бұрын
Was that Hebrew?
@BandoLyrix5 ай бұрын
Sir , can you do a video about autism.......I stilll dont get it
@nothingnessnonarcissism5 ай бұрын
Search the comorbidities playlist on my main channel.
@BandoLyrix5 ай бұрын
@@nothingnessnonarcissism Thank you
@j.g.81535 ай бұрын
Smurf 😘
@ΗρωΔουβογιαννη5 ай бұрын
Λοιπόν άκου. Σε θέλω ψηλό και ωραίο. Αλλιώς σε δινω στη φιλη μου την Ελενίτσα που ειναι βιτσιόζα και της αρέσουν οι κοντοί και άσχημοι. Δεν την αγχώνουν, λέει. Τι να πεις κι εσύ....
@hlop81995 ай бұрын
‘Bonbonim’ Yossi Banai and Jacques Brel ❤️ kzbin.info/www/bejne/baWcppprgdONgtUsi=TEvfC9zsj0QzM1R9