Walmart & Marriage | Don McMillan Comedy

[@TheSilliestGoose731]

“I have to willingly do this inefficiently I’m in pain!” I *felt* that and I’m not even married

[@Michiganman800]

Eye-opening

[@oledahammer8393]

I'm a systems engineer, I know EXACTLY what he's talking about! There is an EFFICIENT way to load the dishwasher and do dishes by hand...and an INEFFECIENT way! So, my wife let's me just take care of keeping the kitchen clean and I have less stress, she does the laundry because the "efficient" way (my way) is to put everything in together and use warm/cold and done! LOL. This separation of duties makes us both happy and less stress! It has worked for 34 years so far!

[@davidt3956]

I'm even happier because I live by myself. 🤣 Everything is done the way I feel is most efficient. Wonderful.

[@eywine.7762]

@@davidt3956Ditto

[@csjrogerson2377]

If I was applying logic and efficiency, I'd end up doing everything in and outside of the house. So, I allow my wife to do what she wants and I let her get on with it. No matter how long it takes.

[@stephen3164]

Toss in a “color catcher” and call it a day!

[@achristian7015]

I am not an engineer of any kind, but everything I do is logical and it drives friends around me nuts. Why would I do it any other way.

[@moose-3379]

I showed this video to my mother and sister. When Don said that his wife had a product for when you use too many hair products, they looked at each other and said: "clarifier". 😂

[@xio3857]

😂

[@oledahammer8393]

Funny as heck and NO swearing needed! THAT is a true comedian!

[@CaptainBlitz]

Fuck yeah!

[@hermask815]

@@CaptainBlitz I guess we have to use double entendres then. No dirty words, just dirty minds with a clean outside.

[@achristian7015]

Unlike Sam Kinison with his constant yelling that I could not stand or even find funny. But I did like George Carlin.

[@ronaldkonkoma4356]

I'd like to see him and seinfeld do each other's material. Wall mart, who are these people

[@ronaldkonkoma4356]

​@achristian7015 Sam, i thought was good with Rodney in Back to School. Once I found out he was a preacher, his act made a little more sense to me and i started watching his older material. Comedian, showing Jerry back on the road, gives insight into the writing process, so George Carlin YES!!! The work he must have put into getting that exactly right - I can't even imagine. If I remember correctly, George was at a crossroads with his career and his wife said, LET'S DO THIS

[@chapmag6578]

So true, as an engineer now in 32nd year if marriage, took me about 15 years to learn not solve the problems and just with Dons words….last 17 years have been a piece of cake….😎

[@BadPhD777]

So true

[@Pemj2k]

Congratulations! These days, people are lucky if their partner gives them 2 years to learn that.

[@gregb6469]

It's not so much that you try to solve the problem as it is you misdiagnose the problem. The real problem is your wife's perceived lack of emotional validation from you for what she is feeling. Take care of that, and she won't mind if later you go fix whatever is broken (if it is fixable).

[@Pemj2k]

@@gregb6469 🤯I'm going to have to remember that if I ever get married.

[@benwagner5089]

@@gregb6469 So what she has is two problems that she needs us to fix. First we have to empathize with her having a bad day due to the fixable problem (lack of self reliance, as we "big strong men" learned growing up), then we have to fix the problem she was complaining about anyway. To guys, action speaks louder than words. She complained about it being broken, he fixed it. That's his way of saying "I care about you."

[@PamWD]

On the problem-solving things...a lot of times women do want advice/suggestions on a situation and other times we just want to vent! So my husband and I worked out that if I want help I'll say I do, and he'll offer suggestions. If I say I just want to vent, I'll say so and then he'll just vent with me! Communication!! No one can fully read another person's mind, so say what you want or need. (Been married 46 years.) And yeah, love the clean comedy!

[@stephen3164]

Ooh, I can answer both the tiny pillow AND the curtain questions: It’s not that there are tiny dwarfs sleeping on the bed during the day, it’s that there are tiny dwarfs sleeping on the floor at night! That’s why you put the pillows out for them. Where are they during the day? They live under the bed - hence the curtain. They like some privacy. Also, consider buying “hair & body wash” - one bottle, cleans the whole body. 👍

[@tgeliot]

Mane & Tail. Buy it at an agricultural supply place

[@therealstuffedzebra]

That shoulder-high drum of hair cleaner now comes only in a six-pack of half-gallon sized pump bottles that costs $35.99. Incidentally, the product can be used to etch glass, degrease transmission gears, and remove baked-on paint.

[@bobstadelmayer8402]

Oh, you forgot to mention the clearance bin at Menard's. That's like winning the lottery for us analytical, cheap types! 😁

[@jackmandu]

And you still get the 11% rebate.

[@velcroman11]

Years ago my wife will come to me with a problem. Stupidly, I too would solve the problem. Instead of her thanking me for solving the problem, her response was “You’re always telling me what to do.”

[@donnaleeah5075]

I'm a female. Lol a friend said that to me! I about died laughing. Yup! Many do come to me to listen or advice. I get them mixed up! For me: entertaining and also living on the edge.

[@anonnymouse2402]

"Irrationally logical" - I love this

[@JamesTDG]

2:53 I've recently been hearing about a different approach: "Do you want a solution or empathy?", or simply "Solution or empathy?"

[@robertmcconnell3788]

Wait a darn minute... No cargo pants!

[@MarylandFarmer.]

That's me with the shampoo. I just finished the last bottle I bought at least 5 years ago. So I grab the same one the next time at the store but then around the corner, oh there's a bigger bottle and it's cheaper per ounce! So yeah I won't be needing anymore until 2033.

[@amochswohntet99]

This is genius. He hits them with a killer slapstick joke to loosen up the crowd and then delivers the logical jokes. Amazing.

[@starrbunnyart]

I still picture this guys' comedy in Powerpoint format from that one bit you did years ago. Thanks Don, I can't stop thinking about PowerPoint because of you and I love it!

[@josiesmith1295]

I'm not an engineer,but in every other way this man is me. I'm cheap,cheap,cheap and love it!

[@ctpaul1261]

This guy kills me. This is a 6 minute and 15 second video. I laughed 26 times, which works out to one hearty laugh every 14.42 seconds on average. This betters my previous best laugh rate of 16.26 seconds (Carrot Top, but that's a different story), which makes Don McMillan the greatest comedian in the world according to me. PS - suggestion for title of Don's next special; "Killin' With McMillan."

[@eywine.7762]

Don is one of the funniest people ever.

[@WesternAustraliaNowAndThen]

Always very clever and always very funny. Computer programmers are obviously very similar to engineers when it comes to logic :)

[@tomasusan]

Computer programmers are called software engineers. Probably the most common type of engineer there is today.

[@Allen.Morrison]

So much truth from one EE to another hahah.

[@karlau1084]

I love seeing you at ILTA in Orlando this year! Your videos helped keep me alive during Covid, and it was a delight to see you in person!

[@richardl6751]

Why is the curtain around the bed? To keep the monsters in, of course.

[@Matt123a]

It hides all the extra pillows and dolls you don't know about.

[@_b_e_n_]

as some one who is studying to be an engineer thanks for the heads up

[@rgnestle]

It felt TOO SHORT! MOAR!!!! ENTERTAIN ME NAOW!!! (Thanks for the video! You are awesome!!!)

[@RetroGameSpacko]

"I couöd fix this but I am not allowed to" I really felt that.

[@ninglight4433]

[2:56] As an engineer I understand this fully, as a mathematician (yes, I know what combo), I even could optimise it further, still my husband doesn't want to hear even the first solution.

[@LINERIC44]

I thought for sure he was going to say the most efficient thing to do is pour all her products into one big bottle and use that.

[@simonetozzi7912]

This sketch is genius!!!

[@stevenfarmer2660]

That's funny, logical and make sense! 🤣

[@robertngreen6]

Brilliant observations!

[@KingRat355]

his observations are insanely true. It's like he is a seinfeld on steroids. There are enough creativity to make a seinfeld or a curb series.

[@blondluck4621]

How can you call yourself an engineer if you don't even know the curtain around the bottom of the bed is to stop the monsters from coming out?

[@beeble2003]

I don't even know what you call yourself but the curtain is obviously to stop the monsters getting _in._

[@TheDrunkenMug]

Genuinely hilarious 😂😄

[@timdere]

Thanks for letting me laugh at myself today!

[@majormeteor]

This is so funny. As a fellow engineer (with one patent that I am overly proud of), I wet and comb my hair in the morning, but don't dry my hands since I am putting on shaving cream anyway and have to dry my hands after that. I don't have to dry my hands twice. It totally makes sense.

[@jeffreyb.2817]

2:00. As a fellow engineer, this also applies to raising daughters. I am a widower with a teenage daughter, my "fixing it" skill emotionally break her down, just like it dose with you wife and did with my late wife.

[@kevincaruthers5412]

My wife and I have been together for 30 years. EARLY in our marriage I decided she should tell me what she wants BEFORE telling me the problem. Specifically, she should say, "I don't want you to fix this. I just want you to listen and let me rant a bit." Works like a charm.

[@stepup898]

Sales of loose onions soared when self checkouts arrived even at stores that didn’t sell loose onions.

[@oenthusiast]

KZbin algorithm fed me a shampoo commercial in the middle of this routine.

[@kdemetter]

1:25 That's funny, because I work for a supermarket chain developing self-checkout solutions, and we considered implementing that reverse "boop" for a moment in one of our solutions ( it uses a camera that tracks the barcode, not a classical barcode reader) We scrapped the idea because no one else does it, so we assumed it would be too confusing

[@earlpettey]

I wish the scanning backwards to void an item worked like that. No more waiting for assistance if you accidentally double up on a scan.

[@timl.b.2095]

Everyone has to have their first time at a self-checkout. Cut him some slack. I'm clumsy at it, too.

[@andraslibal]

I could fix this but I am not allowed :))) Every man felt this.

[@granmabern5283]

Great insights, thanks

[@Yupppi]

I gotta say, what the hell were design engineers thinking when they DIDN'T implement unboop? That makes so much sense and optimally you design things to have no learning curve and be very intuitive and relatable to other things. Make unbooping a thing. And dude, this was my learning curve too as something like 25 year old dating seriously. Turns out i was an even more exciting problem to solve, because it had all these intricate and hidden rules that seemingly made sense, but that you could work out to be some sort of network that fits into a process flowchart eventually. And executing that was also an interesting challenge of self control, trying to manage your inner drive to do things the "right" way.

[@nisi6295]

This is actually user experience design 🤓

[@ellman10]

Brilliant😂

[@johnhughes2653]

Airbnb for leprechauns!

[@LesCish]

As a guy, I can proudly say I have only two bottles in my shower. OTOH I must have 30 bottles of cleaning products beneath my kitchen sink and bathroom lavatory, some of which are several years old..

[@gaston8512]

Every profession has it's peckadillos: Lawyers, Dr's, Teachers, Politicians, etc. I could do a 5 minute Standup for each, esp IT Guys. My ex is on her 3rd (I was 2). When she told me she was marrying a 3rd IT Guy I exclaimed "you're a glutton for punishment, aren't you!!" Lol

[@Calico5string1962]

Pure gold! 😂😂

[@thrpins8430]

This makes me want to stay single 😂

[@rossshin184]

My husband is a "decorator", he decorated his bathroom. I HATE all those dust collectors he puts everywhere! Help! (PS. I'm a woman...)

[@jimwormmaster]

I absolutely lost it at "POOB"

[@lanierosenberg]

Actually, the curtains around the bottom of the bed are called "dust ruffles" because they really do help keep dust from accumulating under the bed. If you have carpeting, you might not notice. But, if you have hard flooring, you can really tell.

[@FistandFootMartialArts]

Pretty good! For instance, The pillow bit has been overdone by now, yet he brought new life and humor to it. The same with the Self-check-out. He breathes new life into common materiel 👍

[@davetutelman]

Love your stuff -- but then, I'm an engineer, too. If you're a REAL engineer, it's who you are, not just what you do. And that seems to be the root of much of your comedy. I resonate with it. As for "cheap"... We engineers are taught that in school, true. I understand you are ex-Bell Labs, like me. Bell Labs selected based on a bunch of criteria, but "cheap" was definitely one of them. And it was reinforced and rewarded at work. I'm glad you don't apologize for that; it was a major survival trait in the culture where we worked.

[@jollybeancomedy]

Good to see you're not using slides here😁

[@parparit59]

His pants don’t have a zipper

[@jonkobler1637]

I'm looking for the day we get to sweep the floors at Walmart

[@lifelessdreamer]

Joke's on you, most of the floor sweeper machines are automated now and don't even require an employee at all :') It's a terrifying thing to witness TBQH. Like a giant clumsy roomba.

[@ejherndon127]

Married 23 years...I now ask my wife, " Do you actually want a solution or do you want to feel better?" Works great!

[@thohangst]

P O O B

[@debbiepeterson6829]

The curtain be to keep the dust bunnies down. Better yet, put the box spring on the floor. No dust bunnies.

[@frankyanish4833]

Our family could use a 12-pack of rakes. Ours keep braking.

[@deborahhemstreet1545]

I still have a giant box of plastic wrap I bought in the USA at Costco in2009. I’m in Israel now, brought it with me, still good and still have half to go

[@alysiam1]

He is hilarious, I would love to work with him we would have a hoot!

[@stefs3460]

The hair product to use if you used too many hair products exists, it's called hair clarifier😅

[@a.c.e.7568]

Women and dust collecting knick knacks go together. So nice to be single.

[@SeaScoutDan]

The point of bed pillows is to prevent napping during the day.

[@ProductBasement]

This is why, if my wife dies early and before me (God forbid), the only woman I would consider dating is Ayn Rand

[@danielloewen2857]

Hey dont make the dwarves sleep on the floor! You're funny, but that won't keep you safe if the dwarves get angry

[@paulinesmith6553]

I’m still working on my shampoo from Costco I bought in 2020 and it’s 2024. Going through chemo twice and having no hair for 3 years has contributed to this.

[@beeble2003]

That's cheating!

[@lmamakos]

Don, do you have a link for the sweet, sweet Cosco "Hair Cleaner" - this sounds like exactly what I need. I feel badly that I'm forced to buy that girly Suave shampoo at the grocery store at luxury prices. Besides, I have less and less hair to clean as time goes on..

[@TerriYoung-n3n]

Sweet

[@eligebrown8998]

😂😂😂

[@Garfield-l5m]

Now everyone wants to meet Don's wife.

[@Oh_Fudge.]

As someone that have several civil engineers in the family but not being a engineer myself. I dont know/understand why (if not all, but deffenetly some) engineers have it hardwired into them that things always have to be over done/thought. Being a bit of a little bit of a jack-of-all-trades mecanic/fabricator (car-mecanic, blacksmithing, boatbuilding educations). Something that will take my father (one of the engineers) 3 - 4 hours to make/fix (if not longer) I can make/fix in under an hour. If the plummer comes to fix something I get what the plummer says/describes right away, dad can stand and scratch his head. P.S Anyone that has a engineer in the famliy but isent a engineer yourself. Hit the thumbs up if the engineering familymember have ever said something in the line of " " Dont worry, I know because I'm an engineer" "

[@rgsiiiya]

The answer to your bed pillow and curtain is: gnomes!!! Didn't you know that gnomes sleep on those pillows during the day!!! and the curtain is where they hide at night, or whenever you enter the bedroom. This is common knowledge, i'm surprised you didn't know it.... ;-)

[@Spect3r.]

My father till this day just buy the cheapest shampoo available whenever he goes shopping, because in his own words "they are all the same, they all come fromt the same big machine" lolol

[@jpatrickmoore5158]

I had a roommate in college who shampooed with Crystal White dishwashing soap.

[@glennroberts461]

As an engineer I fully understand.

[@jskrenes]

“My wife has a product in the shower that’s for when you use too many products in your hair.” Well I’m not going to judge because I have a guitar pedal on my pedal board for when you use too many effect pedals in your signal chain.

[@ThereIsNoOtherHandleLikeMine]

My brother-in-law like to say, "If only there were a product that does ...", and then names a solution, but never says our wives should use the obvious product.

[@ThereIsNoOtherHandleLikeMine]

People should have to be certified in order to use a self-checkout machine.

[@philb4462]

The purpose of the curtain is to hide the dwarves who come out and sleep on your bed during the day.

[@ikvangalen6101]

Nonderstood could work!

[@jakeg3126]

Was that Seth Macfarlane at 0:51?

[@BoosterGold52]

Sometimes the woman is the logical one? On what planet? 🤣

[@ankavoskuilen1725]

Does he wear a tie with the periodic table?

[@22busy43]

My wife makes our soap. I have one bar of soap in the shower. I wash my hair and my body with it. When that runs out I grab another bar.

[@throatwobblermangrove8510]

That pillow joke is eerily similar to a scene from the 1994 movie Mixed Nuts: kzbin.info/www/bejne/np3Zl32Ng5ykgas

[@CothranMike]

Sofa parasites - from Coupling, watch it all, 4 seasons, BBC

[@oreogiri]

Wonder what’s the logic of buying a dozen rakes when you yourself logically asked how many rakes would you use in your life....😜

[@yvan2563]

The logic is that the cost per unit is lower.

[@letsget100subswithoutconte4]

When a neighbor “forgets” to give back the rake they borrowed you dont have to but another one

[@ThereIsNoOtherHandleLikeMine]

I hate Costco. It's "Karen" central.

[@carriethemarrie]

What happens when both are engineers?

[@richardl6751]

You make a flow chart. 🤣

[@bradk7653]

Divorce

[@trikebum5]

Too much like the three stooges, Some people appreciate it.

[@jeffgaspy6573]

Chris Hanson and David Hassellhoff had a lovechild?

[@charbelmassoud9181]

Thou shall not swear by God. Becareful brother God bless

[@burtburt2263]

SO ACCURATE for the people of Walmart!!! Then, they hired one, and they changed the screens to be as dumb as humanly possible...

[@kylejuve5494]

I’m autistic. It’s mind games. Play along get along blend in…

[@heavyd777]

Who uses shampoo? I have a bar of soap. My wife has 16 bottles of stuff.

[@davidjones-vx9ju]

not everybody is bald