Dr Gordon Neufeld on Getting Bedtime Right, April 2021

[@bisanalhamwi2279]

I’m a psychologist and a mother, I research in all topics that relate to children and I help parents in their parenting journey. I keep being amazed by your wisdom, correct instincts, and passion. I come to your work because it gives scientific evidence to what already flows out of my instincts and the wisdom of older traditions. Your work keep me strong facing all the misinformed, narrow minds. I only wish you could publish a new book that helps young mothers, something like this episode that has information about essential childbearing practices, a little bible!

[@GoodEnoughDaddy]

Greer Kirshenbaum wrote a book a year and a half ago called The Nurture Revolution which finally addresses infant sleep and attachment.

[@jenniferbishop2183]

As a mother and wife, who has used Neufeld's insights to not only walk our daughter through the separation at bedtime but the separation from her father following his death, I was so excited to see this presentation... and it did not disappoint! Thank you, Dr. Neufeld, for bringing attention to the parallels between sleep and death. I think about them every night as I tell our daughter that I'm not far, I'm just on the other side of the wall, with a spot reserved beside me for her to join me...

[@FaithfulandTrue777]

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you are supported, grief can be so overwhelming. Love what you wrote, yes you are still a beloved wife and your daughter's father has simply moved address to another realm. The realm that created the beauty of the Orchid, the grandeur of mountains, the ordinances of gravity/day/night/winter and spring, the power of the wind and sea, the mind of the eagle, the colours in the sunset, the heavens above the firmament. God is in control and knows the pain of loss. Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you 🙏💙

[@beckypitcher]

When my twins were very young (2-3 years old) my husband would travel for work a lot and they were constantly panicked. We ended up making a picture book for the kids called “We love Daddy!” full of photos and stories of them together, and I sewed a very simple “Daddy Doll” for the kids. They slept with it every single night for years! I love hearing the science behind why these strategies worked so well.

[@mariaeisabethschmidt7405]

So insightful (I did not expect anything else) and so pivotal. I hope that many parents will receive these valuable and helpful insights. A big thanks to Gordon Neufeld!

[@FaithfulandTrue777]

Thank you what a gift to humanity and to our generations. This explains so much, it poked my own wounds, explained my failings and gave me hope to do better when bed time arrives again tonight. Lone parent, have experienced early loss - my village is literally school, after-school club, people like yourselves on youtube - and God of course but He can't take the bins out 😁 The world is unrecognisable, lonely and harsh. Trying to find the balance of equipping my little ones to detect danger yet helping them feel safe and carefree is a feat. When I'm tired I snap and say the worst thing "you have to go to sleep NOW we are up early for school and work in the morning" oh dear, when we know better we do better 🙏 God bless you.

[@denise2169]

Yes, bedtime is a time of facing separation! That can be scary for young children. As a five-year-old and beyond, I still had terrible nightmares because, even though my parents loved me, they didn’t understand my fears and terror at being left alone and that I needed help to get through these feelings.

[@DeutscherGospel]

44:55 "Daddy it's not fair, that I have to sleep alone - but you got mommy!"

[@staceyjayne5]

Sleep training is child abuse, done with the best intentions which makes it worse. The fact that there are salespeople parading as professionals selling Ferber to unknowing parents is deeply saddening to me.

[@hannahwatson5059]

And then there are parents who claim that they have done their research and that sleep training was necessary for their circumstances aka no outside support and extreme lack of sleep. :( It's so sad when parents use their challenges as justifications. Instead of finding a way through that doesn't push the baby/child face into separation.

[@GoodEnoughDaddy]

Shocks me that parents can pay a thousand dollars or more to learn how to abuse their infants…

[@crianzaarmoniosa6227]

I love this :) so glad it was added as a free resource

[@mamasj9589]

Thank you for sharing this

[@stephaniem7676]

Excellent lecture. I felt so drawn to music when my grandfather died and I listened to this one song that I was really drawn to spiritually. It helped me release my sadness! Thanks for putting this into words! I didn't realize what I was doing at the time but reflecting back I was desperately looking for a release.

[@DeutscherGospel]

21:07 "Most of our problems are rooted in separation we face"

[@soumayahedhili9649]

Very insightful!!!! 🙏

[@gwynnethvanjaarsveld7030]

Thank you. What wonderful wisdom!♥️

[@mariaeisabethschmidt7405]

I watched several videos about the Lullaby Project of New York's Carnegie Hall and I was deeply touched! Not only about the project itself but in particular, when I watched and listened to the mothers who sang their lullabies. Heartmelting...

[@ملتقىدجلةوالفرات]

I have no problem in this topic become the answer is co-sleeping we sleep to together and also another key point is breastfeeding.

[@ritahogikyan8560]

Thank you for your understanding , your wisdom, your education, your experience, your voice - I wish you could speak to all women and men or your book should be read by all parents please somehow try to make it happen 💜

[@DeutscherGospel]

23:06 Death is separation - Hell is permanent separation from God. Heaven is unhindered community with God.

[@tech-utuber2219]

I wish that there was actually wisdom in this but we've seen that repeating this for 1000's of years by millions of people has only resulted in many hopeful followers losing faith and drifting away from religion because it actually doesn't help, enlighten, nor inform the future. I can not be alone in noticing how little knowledge and practice actually exists in religious texts regarding parenting. It has not worked, otherwise, religious societies would be inspiring exemplars. Instead, it is better that we learn from the mistakes we've made but ignored for many generations so that healthy families can once again return us to Creation's natural ways of fostering mature individuals who co-create societies of true growth and wisdom as opposed to obsession with superficial success and endless short-term gratification at the expense of others.

[@kkat9097]

Ok but all I want to figure out is how to get my 10mo into her own bed. I am happy for it to be in my room, but bed sharing is exhausting and she's started rolling off the bed even with barriers at the sides. I can't anymore 😭😭😭😭😭

[@KayeMcKean]

you could put your mattress on the floor instead of up high, and hers beside yours.... just an idea.

[@kkat9097]

@@KayeMcKean unfortunately we need the space under the bed for storing medical supplies. But she's finally learned to get down feet first

[@jmsmeddles]

@@kkat9097 i have the crib up against my bed but i have taken the one side of the crib off. so my son is in his own bed but next to me if we need to cuddle. he is also safe and cannot roll out. it look unconventional but honestly i did it for both my sons and i'm surprised i havent seen others do it. It's amazing.

[@deborahevans4811]

The Croods' sleep pile seems like a good move, doesn't it?

[@josephineananda]

Can the video be fixed?

[@Lucky_ginger_cat]

Starts at 18 :00 👍🏻you’re welcome

[@DeutscherGospel]

21:07

[@wendyray7895]

You have a point; however, I felt like those 18 minutes set the stage and brought my questions and frustrations to the forefront so I was really ready to think.