Origins of the 4 BPD Subtypes

Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox: goo.gl/LQEgy1
In this video I discuss the proposed origins of each of the 4 Borderline Personality Disorder subtypes: Impulsive, Petulant, Self-Destructive, and Discouraged (Quiet). These origins are proposed and researched by T. Millon (2004).
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children: www.amazon.com...
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD -COMING SOON-
Dr. Fox has been teaching and supervising students for over 15 years at various universities across the United States, some of which include West Virginia University, Texas A&M University, University of Houston, Sam Houston State University, and Florida State University. He is currently a staff psychologist in the federal prison system, Adjunct Assistant Professor at University of Houston, as well as maintaining a private practice that specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with complex psychopathology and personality disorders.
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZbin: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: goo.gl/1X1vhR
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
Citation: Millon, Theodore; Carrie M. Millon; Seth Grossman; Sarah Meagher; Rowena Ramnath (2004). Personality Disorders in Modern Life. John Wiley and Sons.

[@ghoulicorn]

Thank you for not demonizing bpd and those who suffer with it.

[@KlausDoitschlaaand]

I was in a relationship with a BPD female and it shattered my life. BPD is dangerous and people have to know what to expect. BPD is dangerous.

[@KlausDoitschlaaand]

Check out "an ear for men" instead of this cokehead.

[@jp8649]

The fact that you feel inclined to seek out and comment on videos trying to help people shows that maaaybe you should seek some help to work out your own issues, KlausDoitschlaaand. Men can be borderline too. I'm here trying to learn how to help the bpd suffer in my life, not demonize them for bad behavioirs.

[@KlausDoitschlaaand]

That's were you're wrong. It took four years of my life realising that I've been played. Never again. The "goodness in them" is a part of emotional hyper-sensibility which comes with BPD.

[@KlausDoitschlaaand]

Jenn Palmer It's true, BPD persons look out for other individuals that can be manipulated easily. I sure have my own demons, but that doesn't neglect the fact, that a person with a serious mental problem like BPD can mean a lot of harm to individuals surrounding that person.

[@GetMeThere1]

0:50 Impulsive 5:02 Petulant 7:42 Self Destructive 9:30 Quiet

[@alexgillo9233]

I think I'm all 4!😅

[@GetMeThere1]

@@alexgillo9233 Yeah. I know what you mean, lol.

[@maralfniqle5092]

Abusive? Explosive?

[@Levi4than_06]

@@alexgillo9233 me too

[@iamlight1]

What's paradoxical is that, as I watch videos like these, one part of me seems to gain insight but, at the same time, one part of me feels discouraged. And by that I mean, I feel like I'm so troubled.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

I understand this and I'm the same, but I try to remember that learning more about my mind and my feelings can really only help me. Knowledge is power, so to speak. I always knew I experienced these feelings and had various disorders, so being able to better define them and identify them can only be helpful. Also, no matter how many disorders or issues / troubles I have, they don't define me.

[@igorbessa3563]

Thought I was the only one to feel that.. I'm really terrified here :/

[@jujubee8610]

My husband has this and it's a relief to have a name for his reactions and that is a disorder, but also kinda scary because I always hoped it was caused just by stress and personal tragedy and it was a phase. It's seems daunting but there's hope because now we can get help and find people who are going through the same things that can be comforting through the hard times.

[@mardishores4016]

Everyone is troubled. Its the world we live in. In my family of origin, everyone thinks everyone else has a problem..lol. we're the ones who can't see ourselves cause our eyes look 'out' and we don't look inside our own dark. Isn't it dark behind your eyes?

[@lorettagreen6794]

@@jujubee8610 if your husband is gaining awareness of being triggered that is the first step to not acting out his disorder and gaining better regulation and less volatility in your relationship. Some things might not change and your husband will always or often feel a certain degree of pain that will require a supportive loving patient partner, most likely his behaviour and both of your quality of life and satisfaction in the relationship will improve so long as you both remain committed to wanting and working towards that. Me and my partner have been together 9 years, we both have BPD, the first half of the relationship was so unhealthy and painful but has gotten so much better and stable and continues to improve still.

[@lightbreaksthrough]

"And you can do it; you really, really can" aaaaand I'm crying.

[@DrDanielFox]

Stay strong, I understand it's hard.

[@yashvlogsss3395]

So hard 😢

[@lakenwaters8704]

Yet still perfect in God's care ❤

[@dulcialott4918]

When he said the parent looks at the child as a burden😭 My childhood...

[@lelexo1726]

Same

[@sashie2112]

Same 😞

[@glutamateglutamate5728]

My father looked at me as a curse.

[@Devi_Seona]

Same friends same. ❤️

[@samanthaharrington8713]

I was legit called a burden by both my parents.

[@Zamiiz]

“Separate yourself from the illness, you are more than your diagnosis” I needed to hear that

[@painoftheheart12]

It's difficult when you lack a stable sense of self. The only stability is the disorder a lot of the time.

[@Goraiders75]

That is a great statement!! I have a personal issue with it cuz even though I am not my diagnosis when I think of it that way doesn't that also mean that when I try to explain my actions I end up feeling like I am making up an excuse cuz on one hand I am not my diagnosis on the other hand I Cant explain what happened without it sounding like a. Excuses

[@autumn7247]

The psychiatrist that diagnosed me said the same thing!

[@leahflower9924]

The fact I am borderline is the only thing that seems clear to me though lol I still can't figure out what's up with the rest of my family

[@kungfujoe2136]

what he means is dont use it as an excuse

[@rhoads2461]

One of the very few experts on KZbin ive found that doesn't secretly harbor a sinister hatred for us.

[@rains5]

Impulsive BPD 0:52 Petulant BPD 5:03 Self destructive BPD 7:42 Discouraged BPD 9:30 Im the third self destructive. Thought I had a bit of petulance as well initially. One line into the explanation and I didn't expect it to be so accurate. There wasn't a quiz online to help see which one I was though I knew it was self destructive. After listening to him essentially tell me my background clearly, definitely nailed it for me.

[@peacekeeper752]

Same here

[@regierse]

I’m a little bit of 3&4. I was shocked when I was diagnosed with BPD.

[@bzmama9893]

I think I’ve been misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder; or I have both. Yay, not yay. I can relate to the last subtype the most.

[@Chloe-iq7-help]

Thank you

[@dinalocher6560]

I am the last one.

[@jessicataylor7174]

I love this guy's positive attitude, clarity and kindness in sharing his expertise. There is no telling how many lives he has affected by posting these videos. It's so encouraging to hear his absolute certainty that we are more than our conditions and can successfully manage the difficulties we're dealing with. He's arming us with understanding and tools to help ourselves effectively, and cheering us on as well! :)

[@oshinoedan5666]

Thank you so much for saying we are more than our disorder(s), I honestly broke into tears.

[@sianypopsmith1429]

Me too 😢 take care

[@curiosityalways7818]

I have never really felt a part of anyone or anything in my life until now. I don't know who I am.

[@sianypopsmith1429]

@@curiosityalways7818 I know the feeling, it's an awful nightmare of an existence But there is help/support if you can get it, with love from the UK xx

[@notorious-00j99]

I’ve broken into tears many times watching his videos. They helped me figure out that I had BPD and convinced me to tell my psychiatrist and get properly diagnosed after years of being told I had so many other disorders. He’s an amazing man. Makes me feel like I have hope! That I have a disorder. Not that I am a disorder.

[@scordon731]

I feel like it needs to be said. Your parents didn’t intentionally damage you nor are you to your own children. Awareness is the first step to trying to cope and/or correct response mechanism.

[@tristaballard5118]

Thank you Dr Fox. I love how respectful you are at explaining BPD. There such a HUGE stigma associated it and when i try to explain it i just tell people to watch your videos... Thank you again...

[@Strange9952]

maybe because borderline people have a reputation for turning the lives of their loved ones upside-down 🤔

[@tristaballard5118]

@@Strange9952 all mental health causes issues in people's lives. I was misdiagnosed and I now know I don't have BPD but I'll always advocate for those with it. There are thousands of different ways that BPD manifests itself and to label everyone as a certain type of person because you've had a bad experience with someone with the disorder is the problem. I was in an extremely abusive relationship yet I don't label every man as an abusive person. The stigma needs to be done away with with ALL mental health disorders of there will ever be true healing/helping as a society.

[@Strange9952]

@@tristaballard5118 It's still a huge red flag, not matter which way you look at it

[@tristaballard5118]

@@Strange9952 and that's the stigma that Dr. Fox does so well at avoiding.

[@teodoroctavian]

@@tristaballard5118 good answer

[@willowgrey5983]

I was diagnosed with BPD two years ago in rehab. I am also a recovering addict. I now know I have a lot of overlap I feel relatable to all 4 subtypes. Thank you for not making us not look so crazy and not able to be helped. A lot of therapists deny me because I'm BPD. You gave me hope 🙂

[@DrDanielFox]

You should have hope and you want to avoid those "afraid of BPD" and find someone who understands the disorder, it's possible. I wish you well. Work to explore your diagnosis and the core and surface content. The therapist is only a guide, you're the traveler. You can do this!!

[@joycealdrich4227]

I'm a combination of Impulsive and Self-destructive BPD. I got help very late in life, at 58, and am 62, now, so still feel like I'm learning to walk, emotionally. I was diagnosed at 26, but there was very little to be done for me, except group therapy and private sessions that were CBT based. Thank you for this video.

[@Flexipop76]

My hat off to you for enduring all that pain for so many years. You must be incredibly strong! This also gave me some hope. I'm 42 and starting my recovery process now - once and for all.

[@katg6542]

That's awesome you figured it out 💯

[@destinyluv8828]

I commend you for your strength

[@josefinaherreweghe5358]

Exact say combo for me, too. I'm 56. Diagnosed with the BPD at about 36, but I haven't done this type of identification and reframing. I hope you are making some progress with this. xx

[@sarapatrick4027]

This is so well done, and I, like others, greatly appreciate that you aren’t demonizing the disorder. It’s heartbreaking all the “informative/educational” videos that just slam us.

[@charlysteenstevens9314]

Very well said.

[@Charginasaur]

I had one incredibly emotional permissive parent and one very emotionally closed off (Filipino, very common) and authoritarian BUT inconsistent parent. They hated each other and talked badly about each other to me all the time. I felt guilty loving either of them but I loved them both. When my mom tried to kill herself when I was 7, the other adult family members made fun of her to me. I also watched my dad dive into alcoholism. Both of my parents were very hurt people, both using methods of escape and dealing with too much of their own crap to teach me how to be a normal person. I started showing signs of borderline thinking at around age 4 and had about all of them by age 12. I’m 28 and, although I was diagnosed more than a decade ago, I’m only just now really accepting my diagnosis and seeking treatment for it. (I was always in therapy but never told the truth and never got to the bottom of things. I always told myself my childhood was fine because I didn’t get beat like my dad and didn’t get molested like my mom, because that’s what they told me... so it was a waste of time). When I stopped cutting, having risky sex, or lashing out at people years ago I assumed it must have been an overzealous diagnosis but I’m now realizing that BPD has integrated itself into absolutely every single aspect of my life. It affects how I think, how I feel, what I do, and who I am (or who I’m not). I just want to thank Dr. Fox (and Kati Morton) for helping me truly understand that bpd is more than just destructive behaviors... it is not just your behavior or mood. It is your entire personality, hence it being a cluster B personality disorder. I’m very optimistic that I can learn to cope with BPD and stop feeling like such a broken, empty, useless shell of a human.

[@Intersexashleyleeanntv]

Mooncat I want to write a song for you because I can relate to this

[@raerae2589]

You explained my life to me😐

[@cuttolive2013]

"You're more than your disorder" 😭😭 i really needed to hear that

[@jsin7747]

11/10 this man needs a tv show. I've learned more in two days watching his videos than i did in five years of therapy.

[@AH-qs7er]

I don't usually leave comments on youtube videos but I wanted to thank you for making these videos! when I first got diagnosed I found a lot of videos around BPD were scary and stigmatizing. Your videos are informative and very helpful. thank you for sharing your knowledge as well as your empathetic approach.

[@pennydls5073]

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.. I'm currently diagnosed with major depression but I know that this does not encompass entirely what I'm going through. And I'm really fortunate to have your videos free for me to watch to learn more about BPD in which I identify myself more on. I cannot thank you enough Dr. Fox. You're saving so many people.

[@marieclark9925]

I feel like I have traits of all four. My god, I need help. My daughter has a terminal disease and I want nothing more than to be a better parent and person for her.

[@karagraham9764]

Marie Clark He does another video on the subtypes and says its common for people to have symptoms of all 4 but to decide what is most prominent and work on that.

[@bri3449]

As long as you're working on getting help and improving good on you!💕

[@yimairacastillo9988]

Marie Clark I just thought this about myself and family background. 💕💕💕Jesus has help me to find ground.

[@melancholikak6844]

healing is possible, heve you looked in your area for help...im saying e prayer for you

[@lauraelia92]

You're not a bad person for having BPD, take care of yourself and your daughter ❤️

[@lucky_lola]

You just explained my entire childhood perfectly. My actions make so much more sense now.

[@DrDanielFox]

Insight is so important. I'm glad I could help. Be well.

[@catarinaduarte6069]

Instead of a parent can a teacher have impact on it? I don't know if I have BPD for sure , however I have some of the symptoms and behaviors, especially the abandonment fear when I fall in love and then when the person gets tired of me I have a really hard time to let go (making me suffer and the other person too), a big lack of self worth and self esteem and intense emotions, more recently I also strugle with indenty issues and I doubt myself a lot. I hate that I'm like that but it’s very hard to change, so I fear that I actually have BPD. However in my childhood, even though my dad wasn't always present, I was loved and my mother was a great mother. The only conection I can see it is with some teachers I had.

[@niyal7361]

Hey Doc Fox! Soooooo... There was a lot of sexual abuse and violence in my adolescent years. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was 16. I stopped going to therapy because I didn’t want to be labeled “crazy”, but now that I’m an adult-I’ve realized this has had a major impact on my life, relationships and career. Your videos have been extremely helpful. I cried when you describe the self destructive type, it’s the one I most relate to. I hope I get a nice doctor like you! So I can idealize him and then demonize him; then wash rinse repeat. Like all my healthy relationships. Haha. (That was a joke btw) Here’s to trying to live in the in-between; seeing the world within the grey area. Anyways thanks again. Much love, Niya

[@mizzinfamous9746]

“I’m more than my disorder” but I don’t want it to be cause it gives me a sense of identity

[@fartemisfartmallow8647]

Wow, he’s an amazing therapist and seems to truly want to and can help his patients.

[@avtempchi1232]

My house hold was described in all of these types ..... this just made me really sad because I never realized the severity of the abuse I went through as a kid ....

[@vamcat23]

me too and i relate to all sub groups in varying amounts. you are not alone

[@TheDeadKingsRaven]

I feel guilty for being like this, I still feel like my parents were doing their best, I just needed more, I also know how many people have had it worse and can lead normal lives. The envy and guilt lead me into sadness and asocial behavior. I read so many of these comments and I truly appreciate all of you who are trying your best to help yourselves. It’s easy to feel like I don’t matter and am alone with these issues but all of you are here. I’m not the only person who is suffering and that is oddly comforting to know I’m not alone. Thank you everyone and thanks Dr. Fox for doing these videos.

[@Vash_The_Stampede]

Me too. It's really hard to actually look at how bad growing up was. And the theres alot of awfull comments on here that demonize a very serious mental health issue.

[@jakeroe1327]

I have been having issues again this morning, I withdrew from the other people in my house and sat outside and thought to myself and the shifting is so exhausting and at one point, I felt angry and defensive and having the thoughts that feed these moods, I still feel kind of angry , but after watching this, I feel calm enough to go to bed, thanks again Dr.Fox, your videos once again helped tame the beast I deal with.

[@mallory5872]

Yes but who can afford good treatment? Isolation and KZbin. Don't tell me to go to a clinic. Done it. They abuse me.

[@vivalospepes1402]

mallory sorry that happened to you. Hope you find the help you need:)

[@nickyb2u]

Got to see a different doctor some can be horrible to you other may just not understand what your going through.

[@headecas]

make a shiv.if they try something just shank them

[@KrystalGilbert]

I feel the same way or they just want to drug you up

[@tracieday1914]

My God you nailed it. You tube and isolation. Wanting to heal so very much.

[@nostalgian4113]

This is my second go to search about BPD, and this video is very helpful, i am glad i came across your channel cuz i am going through a lot and I can’t afford therapy. Went to some but unfortunately they weren’t good helpers and wasted my time and money asking help from people who weren’t willing to offer enough. I believe i am smart enough to do some work on my own, so here i am. I fit with BPD perfectly and i have been self aware of what’s on my mind from a young age, now I’m not saying I understand it completely or that i got it under control but at least i know i got to many conclusions mentioned in this video on my own. Thank you dr.fox, looking to get more helpful information from your other videos

[@KrisMakeup]

Thank you Dr. Fox! I'm lost for words to describe how grateful I feel, in regards to you making informative, relatable and absolutely spot on videos about BPD. I sometimes find myself saying "ahhh" *like a light bulb moment* when you explain why we feel the way we do, how ,& what- all those questions we just want to know and understand! Your gentle and professional demeanour has inspired me to continue educating myself; as someone who believes they have suffered from BPD for possibly 12-15 years without really knowing.

[@donnagaggos1002]

I'm from Texas, and I recently got a therapist. Thank you so much for the encouragement! I have a lot of work to do. I have started my journey to self-awareness, self-love, and self-care. Affirmations are very helpful and mirror work to replace negative beliefs about myself. Great video!

[@rebeccabulanhagui724]

Thank you for all your help and support with these videos. It feels so amazing to have someone on "our" side. I feel like you really understand and know how to offer realistic help. Thank you.

[@markuscameron6958]

I am so very glad I found you. You are helping me to recognize my symptoms as they develop, which makes me less reactive. My brother and I don't argue as much, and when we do, I'm not as explosive as I used to be. I really wish I could talk to you face to face. Here in Saint Louis, Missouri, we really don't have anyone talking about this. After talking to a "professional", I feel broken and untreatable. Anti psychotics only work for a couple of months, and then it seems like my body rejects them. I was taught to silence my emotions from a very young age, I can't do that anymore! My emotions rule me, sometimes I feel like a shaken bottle of soda, completely out of control, confused and angry. How do I get my emotions to a more even state?

[@KurtAnderson812]

These videos have been so helpful for me to share with my friends and family so they can better understand what I’m living with. Often times I can’t adequately express how it feels to live with BPD or what my experience is.

[@gregorywalker5184]

Thank you!!! I was diagnosed with BPD back in 2017 after an attempted suicide. I have learned more about myself and my disorder from your videos than I have from 4 different VA therapists. Your videos are helping not just me but many may more people. Please keep them coming

[@Batya-Grace]

Someone else in the comments said the flowers looks sad lol, well, I was bored, so I ran with it. I had fun! Try it! It's therapeutic! The flower on the right looks sad because it's living in the shadow of the one on the left. The flower on the left is facing the light, and they are both shunning each other. The one in the shadow is resentful of the other's glory, therefore is shunning them, but the one in the light is too full of themselves to see the pain of the one in the shadow. The two flowers have forgotten one very important thing, which is that they both survive from the same vase! Without the vase, they would both be dead!

[@1985bjaycat]

Very creative!

[@mehere8228]

Perfect!

[@mandapi6197]

Oh my goodness! I thought I was the only one who did stuff like this! Love it 💚

[@aaronwalterryse4281]

maybe the vase itself has some symptoms of paranoid personality, and has the flowers scanning in all directions for danger. the reason there aren't more flowers is that the other ones were sent away as untrustworthy.

[@jackiejames3898]

That's very cute lol.

[@helenachase5627]

I am pleasantly surprised that the reward for healing from my borderline traits is being able to say," hey, I feel like I know who I am !" I have a clearer sense of where I seperate in identity from others and what my views really are . It is awesome ! Dr. Fox you rock ! I listen to your videos over and over night and day and its really sinking in. Your tone is extremely reassuring and soothing so I tune in when I feel agitated and overstimulated. Thanks again.

[@Mother_daughter_adventures]

I just came across your channel. I wish I could have you as my psychologist! You’re great!

[@robynr367]

Thank you so much for these incredibly insightful videos. You speak with such compassion that it helps to destigmatize BPD and reduce the feelings of shame. You're the most knowledgeable person I've seen on KZbin discussing BPD - please keep putting out such high quality content! After suffering with BPD and MDD for over 15 years, I finally feel understood. Your videos helped encourage me to seek out my own therapist - my first session is in a couple of days, and I enrolled in a 12-week DBT program that starts next week! Your confidence in BPD being treatable is very motivating. Thanks again and wish me luck!

[@bethlawrence8924]

Thank you,after years of therapy,this gives me a "roadmap ". I understand so much more now.

[@hazeltropix1170]

this is blowing my mind and helping me see my life in a way that is so much clearer and I can see that it would also help many future generations in that, if we can see how our parents effected us by what they did or didn't do, then perhaps through that awareness now we won't have to pass it on. THANK YOU

[@DeafeningLight]

Definitely a mix of all, but petulant, self-destructive and quiet mostly. It sucks, but learning about it helps!

[@tyler_drdn]

One of the best classifications of BPD subtypes I ever found. Looking forward to reading the Workbook that I just ordered. Thank you Dr Fox!

[@Charlockle]

I'm so grateful for this video. I can't fully explain why, but it brought me out of a melancholic pit I've been trapped in for weeks now. And I've learned a lot. You have been very helpful

[@breannadoll9235]

The kindness and care with which you talk about this disorder is so comforting and reassuring. The fact that you maintain such an optimistic outlook about the possibility of recovery after having worked with others with this disorder for years has given me real hope. Perhaps I really won't have to struggle with this my entire life. I will definitely be emailing links to several of your videos to my own therapist, as you do such an incredible job of explaining things in a professional, kind, and empathetic way. Thank you, Dr. Fox, for taking time out of your day to help strangers.

[@ashleytkl3036]

Very emphathetic. Thank you Dr.Fox. Dont worry about the settings. Your message and sincerity is what most are looking for. Good advice. Plus thank you for your sincerity and effort to share about this disorder

[@katiekane5247]

I always knew my mothers alcoholism affected me. I was treated differently depending on the time if day & degree of intoxication. Much of my childhood focused on reading the signs of her behavior & anticipating the next phase. Of course I grew hypervigilant & apprehensive. I was a very closed, compliant child to avoid precipitating anger, it wasn't until my teens that the rages began. I have been suicidally prepared since childhood. It became a game in my mind, "I'm tough, but if it gets intolerable, I'm outa here". I was often accused of being manipulative as I never learned how to express my distress appropriately. I self medicated & was largely referred for treatment due to others issues with my behavior. I've been mis diagnosed with bi-polar & major depression. How so many clinicians missed the obvious astounds me! I've mostly worked alone, your series has helped me more than ANY other therapy. Now that I'm 60, and have suffered a near fatal injury 3 1/2 years ago, I've had to accept being somewhat dependent on others. This has been most difficult! Thankfully, I have been afforded with the opportunity to improve my relationship with my grown daughter & have had the pleasure of being here to watch my grandson grow up. Hope exists for ALL if us, don't wait until you almost die to take charge of your emotions. I've found there is more to me than strictly the appendage of others. Thank you, Dr. Fox. I've shared you with my gr8 friend who also suffers.

[@marcymurrell688]

I feel like you're describing my childhood upbringing. I've been interested in studying psychology and BPD since teen aged because I believe my Mother has BPD. I don't exhibit BPD traits. It's really helped me to learn about this. I felt like I attracted psychologically unhealthy people a lot in my life.

[@junewingsha]

You are one of the few that believe that people with disorders can recover from the impacts. Thank you for that positive outlook.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for the comment and the research actually shows that individuals with borderline personality disorder do you have a missions and do successfully manage this disorder. Thank you and have a great day

[@shasky5776]

Thank you for allowing me to understand my behaviour and thinking patterns. I used to be on the fence for my BPD diagnosis, but listening to you and seeing all of the traits and past events made me more confident of my diagnosis. It was very spot on. However, I still have doubts with my value of self. I feel that this means my personality is f-ed up, which equates to me being f-ed up. It's still something I struggle with, although at times I have immense amount of confidence I myself and of my self-worth.

[@joancummins4512]

Thank you Dr. Fox I play your videos to my 15 year old grandson who is at psychiatric hospital. I have been searching for help and a diagnosis along with his dad. Your videos helps him control his episodes. The only light in understanding what he is going through.

[@samcresp5440]

I know this video is old, but I really appreciate the way you approach the topic of personality disorders, especially BPD. Demonising and stigmatising doesn’t help anyone find a solution and grow beyond this illness. We are all people, we all have experienced our fair share and have learned to react to the world because of what we have been taught. Approaching with understanding, caution and a level head is the best formula for success. I could’ve been written off as too difficult and evil, but my pysch took the time to understand why I felt the way I did, did not react with her own feelings but rather only with calm actions. I will always hold this illness apart of me, but I no longer suffer, I am no longer confused and scared, I am happy and I can function.

[@gordonshaft2586]

Thank you for your sincere and professional way.

[@hllyhtch9823]

I was in group therapy a couple years back explaining a situation and I mentioned, "I'm not my illness." The group counselor stopped me and said, "By saying you're not your illness is saying you don't accept yourself." Then asking me repeat, "I am borderline." So, that was the last time I seen her lol. Thank you for this explanation, your mention of mindfulness in other videos and your kind soul. You're appreciated.

[@jamesgrosso8920]

You totally explained my upbringing. I struggle with bpd as I found out recently. Thank you for what you do and uploading these videos.

[@malkaringel7864]

I'm 65 now. I'm 10/10 bpd. Had six to eight weeks of therapy....& This began in childhood. I try to curb some of my traits - being impulsive, etc. At this stage of life I have many physical issues that override everything else. I am basically disabled. So I can't focus on healing my mind - especially as these last 28 years were spent with a narccissist who treated me badly. I'm just surviving day by day in solitude & isolation from the human race. I have four ferals/rescue cats that are my family. Without them, my life would be even more void. Thx for your comprehensive videos.

[@natashaaziz9493]

I wish there were more resources available for treatment. Major obstacles seem to be insurance companies deciding what access and limits they feel like paying for. Wish work places were more supportive and accommodating towards individuals who really want to get better. Hopefully these videos will aid self recovery until more resoutces are available and affordable.

[@DrDanielFox]

Natasha Aziz I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for the comment.

[@mehere8228]

Totally agree. I just mentioned this a few comments back. Too many cutbacks and not enough incentive to the psych field.

[@joanolisa1]

This is one therapist I would like to see. I don’t have BPD but he seems to be the person that can help anyone navigate life.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks 😊

[@rebeccajimenez6109]

Noticing a bit of all subtypes throughout my childhood. Leaning more on the two last but more on the quiet type because I was the oldest of 5 kids and helped with two households/surrogate mother to my brothers. Was also guilted into quitting my job to care for ailing grandmother. I have endured a lot of inconsistent parenting from both parents and grandparents as my caregivers. I am currently estranged from my mother and family I grew up with. And have always had low/no contact with my alcoholic father and with good reason, he is also disordered some degree of personality disorder with PTSD as a vet. But I am trying to understand and heal from my past pains so I can break the dysfunctional cycle of family abuse.

[@rebeccajimenez6109]

Thank you for these informational videos. You explain in a way that is really easy to understand and follow. I appreciate what you do. Hope all is well💕

[@GabrielleNavarro1111]

i’ve been trying to get into therapy for half of my life, but nothing has ever stuck through, it’s been awhile now, and my past substance abuse problems were always being the target, but nobody ever went deeper than that with me. i’ve never been diagnosed but bpd has resonated with me more than anything ever has, and all i’ve ever wanted was an official diagnosis so i can get better. i desperately need help to look at life differently. my brain truly wants to swallow me whole, yet i know deep down inside i have so much potential... i can’t see past my thoughts and living any kind of normal life is becoming more and more impossible with the older i get. i can only hope to find a therapist as intelligent, soothing, and helpful as you. thank you for making these resourceful videos, i know they bring a lot of people peace. 💛

[@davidharrison1860]

Thanks Dan. The way you articulated the subtypes of BPD helped me understand causation and probability of outcomes. I appreciate your encouraging remarks on concept of self, reconstructing how to live now, re-reading situs to separate trigger ignitions, and to develop KSAs to become mindful at navigating with a greater degree of response.

[@Abigail43732]

No WONDER I got severe depression for years. I still have bpd but I experienced all of this. I'm glad I'm not crazy. I thought I was alone. Makes it easier. Fucked up but sad. I pray for everyone struggling.

[@mollietillman6243]

man i wish i could afford going to therapy with you. you honestly appear to know what the hell youre talking about and ive been in a state of chaos for my whole life. the novelty comment was what really got me. i just want a normal life but it seems like i can know the solutions yet never get around to doing them.

[@skullsappi]

Thanks a lot for telling about some other subtypes and not only about the impulsive one. That illness is so huge and people misunderstand that there are also quiet borderliners.

[@michellejudd5060]

Yes my father had paranoid schizophrenia , my mother was a psychopath , very unstable woman, shouldn't of owned a cat let alone produce children knuckle head's , so therefore I now have BPD .

[@xxxxOS]

I dont know what would be more morally wrong, forcing people to take a test before they are allowed to breed or allowing them to breed freely and destroy their child's lives and cripple them emotionally. Id say the latter because my parents too were knuckleheads that should never have been allowed breed!

[@Mrscreamcheeselover]

I hate how we are left to pick up the pieces of the garbage from our parents 😞❤❤❤❤❤

[@mehere8228]

@@Mrscreamcheeselover Exactly! They should be held accountable in some way! Society needs to help and get a grip on this. The children suffer the most! I don't have this but its in every family. This country needs more doors open to helping with disorders and too encourage the psych field for more therapists in a way that will benefit them, the field and clients. They've made too many cutbacks from what I know.

[@Mrscreamcheeselover]

@@alegriart lol this comment made me laugh. First of all I was diagnosed with a different disorder n dont meet bpd criteria I already have children who I adore n adore me and an amazing husband. Its sad to see bored ignorant individuals trying to bring down others. I'm sorry it must be hard being so insecure that you feel the need to comment stupid bullshit to strangers enjoy your boring life lol

[@maya9685]

U sound like u have CPTSD .check Richard Grannon

[@ClearandHealthyBoundaries]

Dr. Fox...you ROCK! Your videos are motivating me to seek out therapy in my country and get the help I need to be better and do better for those I love now and will in the future.

[@Marcelube]

Ur incredible, Dr Fox. What a beautiful meaningful lifesaving job you do. Congratulations 💕

[@kiss4strawberry]

Thank you so much for shedding light to the many subtypes of BPD. It's not talked about enough and it's very damaging to the people suffering with it that don't fall into that one type of BPD that's commonly known to the public.

[@sandrasteele976]

Ground breaking approach, there is hope. Thank you

[@borderlinebrowngirl9200]

@Dr. Daniel Fox ...you have spoken my entire life...and i thank you for your work. You are a TRUE gift to this world! My sister, who is a psychologist, whilst talking to her on the phone, made a joke/rude comment about the fact that i am super emotional and that i "act like you are a borderline"... never addressing all of the experiences, as well as my natural biology, that brought me to my state of being.. Having grown up in the same household, and never addressing the fact that our mother is a complete and raging Narcissistic Personality disorder on legs. And at first, obviously not knowing what that meant, she gave me a vague explanation, and eventually cut the conversation short. That was 2 years ago, and almost exactly 1 year ago which I discovered a heinous lie that my mother told, among many other pieces of information that were, in my opinion, Vital to my mental stability. and I am now FINALLY meeting you. And you voice many of the thoughts i have been trying to process alone, putting the pieces of my life together, leading me to develop all 4 of the types of bpd types: impulsive, petulant, self destructive, AND quiet...well i'm an introverted extrovert, which confuses the ever living hell out of me. So thanks for putting things into perspective for me and so many others! You have Truly done your work!

[@rozepyracantha5574]

My mother made me this way and I used to hate her so very much. But she has now changed into the mother I've always wanted and now I cannot hate her. So before, I used to hate her and myself. Now I 100% hate who I am. Some days I feel strong, most days I feel sufficient, but days like today make me wish for death. One step forward, three steps back. Don't know why I'm even writing this ... Everything feels pointless

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Hey, I understand how you feel, really. We can pull ourselves out of this. Your life matters, and you are beautiful.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

You aren't pointless. I had to stop all communication with my mother. It hurts, she's not the mother she once was, she's aging now and vulnerable. But she's toxic for me even at her best, I had to cut it off, so I can work on myself and get better. I hope she's still alive when I get stronger.

[@rozepyracantha5574]

@@show_me_your_kitties you're very sweet to reply to me. The strangest thing happened yesterday. I started watching more of his videos and somehow this help calm me down? So I mustered up the courage to go to my night class. I came home feeling normal again. BPD really puts you through a roller coaster of emotions. I was so exhausted for most of yesterday. Dr. Fox says that we have a high probabilty of healing... when I feel normal, I believe it. So, I will choose to believe my perceptions when I feel normal because that's what's real, not the perceptions I have when I'm in the hole. I understand how you feel about your mother, as I had to cut her out many times. I came to find that there can be hope for a better tomorrow because somehow it happened between her and I. I send you my hugs and best wishes

[@saraemily7397]

Petulant here. So spot on. YES, my parents made me decide who to live with at age 7!!!! My parents moved me states away from each other.

[@jenniferberry120785]

I have a mix of all of these. It makes so much sense

[@sophieleanna9391]

My 13 year old grand daughter was recently diagnosed with BPD. She fits the diagnosis to a tee, and it breaks my heart to say that. But I have hopes for her, especially since we have the diagnosis at such a young age. One thing I notice about people with BPD, as I’ve been researching a ton and I know a couple of adults with it, is that these people, their true self, is very caring. There’s a sigma about people with BPD, that I think has been misconstrued. When you get the opportunity to see the true person, you see a kind and caring person. Without the illness this is what you have. And maybe it’s the pureness and kindness as a child that makes these people vulnerable to developing the illness in the first place.

[@gemmad4796]

Thank you for helping me understand my condition more, this was such an informative and helpful video. Thank you!!

[@TheKtiekat]

This guy is brilliant. Best explanations of bpd I've heard.

[@mardishores4016]

He's patronizing.

[@dolan9990]

Thanks so much for these videos! I feel like with this information I can handle it a little better! ♡

[@Jehna618]

What a relief to finally feel like I am home!!! I read up about the symptoms of BPD after initial shock and self criticism, I feel so relieved and watching Dr. Fox KZbin gives me hope that there's nothing wrong me, it is the way how my circumstance growing up, my unfit parenting and bullied siblings shaped my characters but that now I realized it DOES NOT define me, I am not 'stuck' in those crazy thoughts and behavior...I can change and there's hope...lots of it, and I am not stuck in hell...Yeah!!!

[@cathy753]

Thank you. This makes so much sense. I can relate to everything.

[@ddcaires1343]

I'm a combination of the last 2 types. Had an abusive and authoritarian parent, and just hearing the effects it has had on me was eye opening.

[@armfart890]

It seems every time I have an opportunity to do something, I mess it up. I'm very dependent. Kinda sad about it and ashamed. Since my old therapist left, I feel even more lost.

[@mardishores4016]

Broken people 'helping' other broken people. Lol

[@RocketeerAndRoll]

Thank you so much for your videos. I suffer from introverted borderline and I was hard to diagnose because I kept all my symptoms private for most of my life, just suffering silently. I am parts discouraged and petulant. For me it's hard to pinpoint because the way I was raised was dependent on psychotic parents whose mood shifted constantly. It was mainly neglect because they were drug addicts so I got to do whatever I wanted and rode my bike around to not be at home most of the time. Other times, they were excessively violent but the one constant was that I could never know what to expect. Sometimes it was authoritarian but the rules would be rules I'd never gone over with them before, but the part about keeping me close but seeing me as totally useless and making me feel useless rang a bell. It's the first time I've ever thought about that and how contradictory it is. It is confusing! But studying this allows it all to make sense.

[@angeliquemae7632]

I just got diagnosed with this. I can’t take this anymore 😭

[@margaretcrowe8707]

That's what I say all the time I cant take this I cant fix this I understand what u mean

[@staytrue8511]

@@margaretcrowe8707 u dont need to 'fix' it. Accept and learn how to manage it in a way u still can live in a ok or even good way.

[@meganmcdaniel994]

I have been trying to expand my knowledge about BPD ever since my diagnosis, but this is the first time I have heard about there being sub-types. Your explanation about them gave me a lot of insight into my own disorder, which I appreciate very much. This is also helpful because I study psychology, eventually I want to get my PhD and research BPD, self-injury, and suicide. Your video gave me more things that I can read up on, thank you!

[@ryk6207]

It's interesting that kids can grow up in the same household with the same parents and still turn out very differently depending on birth order, genetics, etc. My mother and sister are mostly the petulant subtype, while I'm mostly discouraged. I suspect this has to do with my being her first child and mildly autistic. My sister is youngest, so she never got the kind of attention I did, and she had to put up with a lot of shit from everyone. Meanwhile, my father and brother are off doing their schizoid things. Dad's emotionally absent, and Mom's on an emotional rollercoaster, so my sister and I had to comfort her, in exchange for some preferential treatment. My brother, the only boy and middle child, managed the least connection with our mother. Sometimes I wish I were like him, as he is spared the inner turmoil of BPD, but he is still very alienated and struggles to find meaning in life. I'm only a few years older, but I think I may have been some sort of parental substitute for him early on, and I'm afraid I was terrible at it. Also, it's kind of interesting that my sister keeps dating other narcissistic people, while my brother and I haven't really dated at all so far. It seems impossible to me, and too messy to him, I guess. It really seems like endless madness. It's scary.

[@antisocialal4799]

Are any of your family actually diagnosed or are you substituting their behavior for a disorder?

[@tessjones5987]

D I use to feel hopeless.Dr. Daniel Fox has a calm demeanor and available nuts and bolts techniques that are so encouraging. These videos really help me.

[@mikemaillet5737]

I’ve been involved in an abusive relationship. Only recently I have realized what could be possibly happening. Through psychotherapy, I’ve learned that I’m a codependent involved with an NPD/BPD partner who has been emotionally, verbally and recently physically abusive. This person has taken to extremes to destroy my life, when I have been constantly telling her that I love her, and I’m there for her, and I have given myself to her completely. I am struggling to understand how a person can go so far without remorse, empathy, or any conscious idea of what damage has been caused. Originally she agreed to get therapy together and alone, but as soon as the reality of therapy was approaching she got angry and insisted she has no need for therapy. How can I help to mend our family when I’ve been severely abused in every way, and still want to help, yet they ignore everything as if nothing ever happened? Also is there any possibility of contacting you privately to ask you a couple of questions? Thank you for your videos and insight. This is something that I have only learned about in the past couple of months and have been researching this topic daily to understand things better. You’re videos have helped me gain some clarity in a storm of confusion.

[@danielkaiser8971]

Mike Maillet, from your original comment it sounds like you are choosing to remain in a severely abusive relationship.

[@headecas]

ditch her.she doesnt want therapy, its not gonna work and ur both gonna be fucking miserable

[@jodiesz1351]

Thank you doctor, I got through my first rage without reacting out loud. Oh wanted that outlet of yelling and breaking things but i didn't do it. I hope it gets easier because that was really hard 😢 but i was so proud of myself after the rage subsided and i had stayed calm on the outside. Thank you again.

[@michellejudd5060]

Thankyou Dr Fox I still get very angry with them , and I'm 46 now .

[@califcamper]

I think sometimes the hardest part is when we are seeking info on YT, because we are in a crisis mode. Usually brought on by financial stress, added with health, personal sometimes life threatening issues. We may even be at that point of suicide and certainly looking at suicide as an option because it would be a relief to this intense pain we are feeling, that seems to never subside. Your video has helped me to step back, breath, and atleast understand where I am from. I thank you for that. Try and make it another day, take some control of yourself, seek out some help if you can. Remember you are loved by this universe.

[@owlcatxx]

"Authoritarian like a barbarian" 😂

[@normanspurgeon5324]

Very helpful- articulate descriptions of so many human behaviors affecting development. Surprising how elucidation of relationships is helpful.

[@heyitsbethxo9957]

Mindfulness, yes yes WISEMIND

[@LVAngelradio]

My BFF has BPD. I love her to death. I always tell her she's never getting rid of me. Im not going anywhere. Like good luck getting rid of me. I love her unconditionally and want to be a good understanding friend to her. I have seen such growth and progress with her. She does so well when she gets that little bit love, reassurance, or validation. That's 100% her effort and hard work. We don't really fight. It's never one against another. It's more of a struggle to find balance. Like attracts like and I have my own problems. I have depression and it will spike out of nowhere. When we both are struggling all the time and attention goes to her. Im quiet where she is loud. For me I struggle where as she becomes engulfed in crisis. It's anger, yelling, crying, talking, obsessing but non of those things help her. I do my best 2 maintain balance by letting her go over everything 2 or 3 times before I try to to get her to focus on anything positive. as a friend I care and want to hear her problems. Unfortunately she gets so lost in this chaos she feels incapable of focusing on anything else. So she gets her needs met but I don't. right now I'm just struggling with feelings of self worth. I'm not going to stop being her friend ever but I struggle with this lack of balance. I know that I deserve a friends who hears me out in the same way I do her. Who gives me equal time and care. However none of this is intentional. It's not a measure of her love for me. It's just her struggling to cope with her BPD.

[@raerae2589]

LVAngelradio wish I had a friend like you. You’re literally one in a million.

[@ebenham1713]

Omg this is best explanation ever of why I have these subtypes, the most in depth video I've seen in ages, thankyou ! I knew that bpd is formed from disorganised attachment but to actually go into even more is amazing! 2 alcoholic parents the makers of bpd.

[@stephenpowstinger733]

He speaks of accepting who you are and not identifying with the disease but in the cases of BPD the self is the crux of the issue.

[@le_th_]

Helpful information for those of us researching how this disorder shows up in behavior in real life...versus just learning the lists of diagnostic criteria the DSM or ICD 10 provides. Thank you for sharing your knowledge so freely!

[@Mrscreamcheeselover]

I often feel like i just am better off keeping to myself and quite because explaining the confusing fear and abusive environment that surrounded me for 20 years aside from being horribly painful is also often further isolating as people dont really know how to react. Most after disclosing a diagnosis of bpd start avoiding you or trash talking you only furthering your self hate shame and feeling stigmatization. The sad fact is those who do not know this suffering can never understand it the way we do. I always hold a special place in my heart for fellow bpd survivors a and by survivors i dont mean those who survive us but those of us who survive what turned us into us. We can do this❤❤❤❤💚💚💚💚💚

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Thank you. I don't know you, but I care a great deal about you and want you to be whole and happy and believe in your purpose.

[@rachaelsimukon5482]

Wow. I finally have answers to my BPD. I 100% fit into the Impulsive w/historic traits. I left my twin and mother 3 years ago and have quit falling into their expectstions. I have a long way to go bit Im working on it

[@humanbeing8283]

Jeez. Self-destructive and discouraged for the most part. It sometimes feels like being a rat in a maze. Like if I could only see over the walls and get a different perspective, I might make some progress. Like every turn is a frustrating reminder of all the work I have to to and how unfair it is to be invisibly different but living within the same social expectations. It reinforces the anxiety, anger, and perpetuates the cycle. I'm thankful I've found these videos. Makes me feel like I'm not alone in this maze, and like maybe there is an end to be found without giving up on trying. Thank you for sharing. 💖

[@gregriddett3163]

Your the first person I have seen make sense if all these issues, very good video and I like your approach in regards to bpd.