adhd: 21 signs women & girls

[@jordana99]

I have many of these signs but was never diagnosed in my life and now I'm 70! I was always just blamed and shamed that I wasn't behaving correctly.

[@itsmeaimster6698]

Me too. I’m 53. My parents were teachers so you’d think they would’ve noticed and had me tested.

[@nomadgical]

Me too. I'm 60.

[@elizabethannhankinscampbel6700]

I’m 65 and always say that I’m ADHD but was never diagnosed. It’s sad because I feel like I could’ve been a much better person if only…

[@jordana99]

@@elizabethannhankinscampbel6700 agree

[@Sarah-with-an-H]

48 I relate so much. Yes I have depression anxiety and binge eating disorder. I believe they are symptoms of inattentive ADHD

[@JordynLaRee]

if you have adhd watch this at 2x speed. much more satisfying.

[@EdibleTrain]

This helped a lot.

[@staceygraves4587]

Wow thanks for the tip!

[@ClueFinderDirtDigger]

Was already on 1.5x when I read this comment. 😂

[@BluePatriotWinner]

Me too! ​@@ClueFinderDirtDigger

[@reeciereece1415]

I’ve never been diagnosed, but I think I have it, but watching at this speed gave me such relief. Thanks!

[@El-aitch]

Just diagnosed at 39 and feel so validated. I’m not lazy and stupid; I just don’t work in the same way. My kids clearly have it and we’re going to get them help early.

[@Yettipot]

How it presents itself: 1. Hyperactive impulsive 2. Internalizing intentive Symptoms: 1.day dreaming , spacing out, head in the clouds. 2. Chronic Mental health issues. Anxiety ,bipolar, depression 3. Dizziness in social settings 4. Appearing shy .. 5. Difficulty in relationships, conflicts 6. Anger , rage or internalize rage 7. Chronic emotional dysfegulation 8. OCD skin picking, nail biting 9. Hypersensitive to environment 10. Being a perfectionist 11.executive dysfunction Learning disorder, attention spand 12. Risk taking in sexual activity 13. Impulsivity excess talking too fast, not waiting to speak 14. Racing thoughts 15. Chronic health issues ..migraines , stomach aches, chronic fatigue 16. Self wounding 17. Trauma 18.substance use and abuse 19. Faking it ..inside and outside mismatch camouflaging 20. Sleep difficulties 21. Hypersensitive rejection disorder.

[@KA-mq4wj]

Thank you Dr Kim for validating women and girls and all ADHD sufferers who thought they weren’t smart or worthy enough growing up. I’m a female in my mid fifties. I didn’t know I had inattentive ADD until I was 45 when my children were diagnosed with the disorder. Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, no one knew or asked why I struggled in school. No one knew what ADD was back then. I went on to college but it was very difficult and I barely got my degree. Those years in school were traumatic and I still experience so much shame from feeling dumb and made to feel dumb. The bullying was incessant at school but also at home. My mother shamed me. I remember high school teachers yelling at me for not understanding the assignment and college professors laughing at me. I know so many others with undiagnosed ADD have experienced the same. I still have nightmares that I didn’t graduate high school or college. I know my kids suffered as well. I had so much trauma from school and teachers growing up, that when it came time to protect or stand up for my kids I froze. I now know more about the disorder and I explain to them why they might be feeling the way they do and how to handle its challenges. In my adult years I struggle with lack of motivation, procrastination, trauma, anxiety, depression and rejection. Social anxiety is always present and I worry if people like me. I do like myself when I’m a bit zany, out of the box thinking, funny and quick witted. I’m also a sensitive empath. Thank you for sharing your video!

[@heidilady]

We must be twins

[@RedNicole22]

I’m almost 50 and can agree with almost everything you said. I was bullied and humiliated by teachers and students. It was traumatic, I remember it like yesterday. I was diagnosed after my separation, and was in my 30’s. It’s really remarkable how we came from that timeframe and still alive today to tell our stories. I was extremely depressed and the suicidal ideations were intense. Thankfully I was able to pull it together bc my daughter has it too, and greatly struggled in school as well, thankfully her experience was nowhere near as bad as mine was, and I fought hard for her. She did not go to college and has zero desire to go through that again, and I can’t blame her.

[@AmaranthineIntrigue]

Thanks for sharing you story. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I can relate alot.

[@sayusayme7729]

Oh wow, I’m sure you’ve described many. Thank you 🪶

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

@@heidiladytriplets!

[@mrod87]

Listening to this is making me cry, i do every single one of these things. I’m 36 and i wish u could be my doctor.

[@DrKimSage]

sending love tonight💗

[@meself349]

How about "ADHD: men and boys"? Is there a companion video to this? Or do we just get put on meds and told to tough it out? Go play a contact sport and stop whining like "little girls"????? Hmmm.....

[@EarthenCavy]

Girl, literally same at a wink shy of 43. I see you. 🌸

[@mrod87]

@@EarthenCavy 🥰🥰

[@isabeltaylor1762]

I’m 36 and female, undiagnosed know that you are not alone

[@EarthenCavy]

HOLY CRAP …my jaw DROPPED when you said autoimmunity and fibromyalgia. I have both. Also, yay for a narcissistic mother. I know that I have ADHD. I’m not diagnosed yet, but as soon as I’m able to NOT BREAK MYSELF BEING A KLUTZ (dislocated my kneecap on Easter), I want to get into my psychiatrist’s office and get tested. Also, that rejection dysphoria is so horrible. For me, it’s because of intimacy. My fucking mother told me I’d never be loved, so I sleep around to feel accepted. 💔 It is hell. Utter hell. And letting people down kills me. 🥺 AND CONSTANTLY COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS. “I’d kill to be that pretty/thin/strong. I wish my hair was like hers. My nose is disgusting.” It’s so painful… 😞 Thank you for making me feel so seen.

[@Dancestar1981]

Absolutely

[@jessicaodell1377]

OMG ME TOO!! Narcissistic mother, autoimmune, fibromyalgia!!! And now ADHD

[@Strawberry_Pez]

Same here - autoimmune (hypothyroid), narcissistic parent, rejection sensitivity and sleeping around because of a desperate need to feel loved / wanted. I thank the stars every day for having met my husband; he literally saved my life 36 years ago.

[@stephaniewood1547]

I am 56 and I have many of these symptoms and was never diagnosed. I too, was told you’re just not applying yourself you’re just not trying hard enough. I was compared to my older brother who did everything right! It sucks for those of us who are older and have just been ridiculed and have been told it’s all in your head. Here I sit and it’s messed up a lot of my life because my parents didn’t want me to get checked out because then it would make or show that they failed as a parent which is ridiculous!!

[@KA-mq4wj]

I am your age and went through the same judgement. My brother was given all the attention too. You are worthy in your own way. Maybe you’re more artistic,comedic or empathetic? You are worthy and okay how you are!

[@RedNicole22]

I was 2nd born and had many learning difficulties. My brother is highly intelligent, and he was praised and treated well by most everyone, however his intellect was above most his teachers and normal people, so having a sister like myself actually helped him to be more empathetic to others. I ofc had to follow in his footsteps and could never come close to him, and the comparison was extremely challenging and debilitating, not to mention depressing. Not only did everyone compare me to him, but I did that to myself as well. I knew ALL my shortcomings, so it wasn’t a fair fight. My mom tried to get me help back then, but it wasn’t available, you only had totally handicapped children or me. I wasn’t dumb, I just didn’t learn or understand how others did and I was never taught to read. The teachers put me in the corner out of the way other the other students bc I slowed them down. The teachers humiliated me in front of the class, and that led bullying. We had to be tough to survive life back then. I’m surprised not more ppl didn’t off themselves back then.

[@rowanstarling3816]

I'm 58 and feel the same, but no brother. I had a younger, prettier, smarter, thinner sister.

[@stephaniewood1547]

@@RedNicole22 I am truly sorry you went through that. I was similar as you but not put in the corner in School. I think between the ADHD and some Learning difficulties I had to leave it in the shadow of my brother. My brother could do no wrong! Then we were both in the same cooking class in high school because he was a senior and I was a sophomore and I never lived that down either. My brother became a chef and I’m not the best at cooking. It was just another thing to put me down even further in the dirt. It’s probably why I’m not so sure of myself even after 56 years of living, I think I am sure of myself on something and then the next minute I’m doubting myself.

[@stephaniewood1547]

@@rowanstarling3816 Sorry you lived like that as well. Too many sad stories on here.

[@SpiralMystic]

Thank you. I also believe that childhood trauma is involved in the development of adhd.

[@erinm3567]

Same here.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

@@erinm3567for some yes.

[@orls9068]

Agree, seen on another podcast there was studies and its linked to ptsd something along those lines

[@stefanmargraf7878]

There was a bunch of unneccessary and unproven claims for "reasons" for ADHD which are also not helpful. Exept for some debils, which may say, its those parents fault, because they are not proper christians and so on. Same with those folks looking for reasons somebody is gay.

[@schoolworkaccount3887]

@@orls9068how can you tell which one you have?

[@arabellacox]

Getting a diagnosis later-on in life has been so validating. When you've spent 50 plus years as a 'square peg' trying to fit in a 'round hole' and someone tells you you don't have to do that anymore. YOU CAN BE YOU! ❤

[@mayyanevermind457]

Nope. They just labeled us and put it a separate box. We are never going to be accepted. You boss careless what you have. He needs productivity. We are never going to fit.

[@SandyBee-313]

I am shocked that both myself and my daughter have the majority of these in the inattentive type. Wow. I'm not surprised as we both suffered trauma in childhood (generational).My daughter struggled at an early age with the relational and executive functioning aspects. Lack of focus day dreaming, the "ditsy-ness ". Over reaction to things, taking everything so personally. It makes me sad that she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression but it could have been ADHD. 😔 Makes so much sense now. Thank-you so much.

[@BrittneyLarko]

How old is your daughter? This feels like me too.

[@Theackermans121]

@SandyBee-313 Those behavioral signs are experienced by whom exactly ?? You or your daughter ? Pls tell becoz I have a similar case . I wanna know if it's just stress or ADHD .

[@Polar_Bear_2007]

I'm 17 and I started suspecting that I have ADHD when I was 15. Unfortunately I'm still not properly diagnosed. I don't want to self diagnose but this video just resonates with me so much..

[@curiousone6129]

You already know what you have. You know you're better than anyone else. You can do this Don't rely on others to validate yourself. You can educate yourself and behave accordingly.

[@K8101-s3r]

I don’t know what country you’re in but sometimes schools and colleges can be pretty good at helping you get a diagnosis. Best to find out sooner rather than later as you’ll get more support ❤

[@laiajulia3322]

Girl, just go to a special Foundation that focuses in ADHD and ask to be diagnosed, the hardest thing is realizing you have it, then just start moving for your own good.

[@MalinoisMadness888]

I have 20/21 signs and symptoms. Severe anxiety and social anxiety keep me from seeking help. Im 40, and I really dont want to spend the next 40 living this way. For myself, and my kids. Youe videos are always so helpful.

[@lauragadille3384]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 43. Now I understand why I struggled in school and life.

[@kimmygintx]

Many of these signs have presented in me and I grew up believing I couldn’t do anything right- especially in college. Not diagnosed but so much of this resonated with me. (Instead of “try harder” I was told “keep trying” or “study more” or “you’re not studying! You’re not applying yourself!” Small wonder why I hate school now. 😂

[@rudinetaggart]

My menstrual cycles were emotionally severe due to ADHD

[@kimberly5465]

Fascinating, mine too.

[@Tella_as_it_is]

I'm glad I am not alone! Bless your heart!

[@sherriepeterson8082]

I just noticed this about myself as well!

[@EmileaLiebe]

This has been so intense for me and I constantly ask myself wtf is wrong with me, I feel so ashamed and guilty of myself and it's constant internal warfare meanwhile on the outside the whole world seems that life should feel pleasant enough that I shouldn't feel this much internal chaos

[@JadaWhite-bz6ge]

@@EmileaLiebeyes it’s an actual condition called pmdd you should research about it everything will make so much sense after

[@Pinkrhodonite]

I like these videos but I particularly like it when the cat in the background moves around.

[@FutureFendiFsnista]

This was extremely validating to watch. I was diagnosed last year just after my 32nd birthday. EVERYTHING was bang on about my entire experience from teen and my 20s. Especially the part about being ditzy. I was shamed for being dumb on countless occasions. I compensated by studying a subject or topic to death so I would appear knowledgeable in it. Also, feeling like people don't like me because they don't respond to my jokes, comments, etc. is something I still struggle with. Combined with complex PTSD makes it so much more challenging...

[@leilap2495]

Yes yes yes! I did appear ditsy, and I do still often when around others. I even actively attempted to dumb myself down in order to try to reduce bullying and make friends. My high school year abroad (I was sent away) in a country where women are second-class citizens promoted even more dumbing down. I want to be taken seriously :/

[@Mcdogmom288]

I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[@ErnestoHorner88]

Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Germany don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏

[@CathieGomez-mp8sk]

YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@Hison-Dcarman]

100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma

[@VanRyan-bv7du]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@FrankMorrison-vu2kc]

Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.

[@xeniadorin1427]

28 y.o. Stumbled over a description once and started counting and just started crying because it was so true. The therapist told me there's no way I could have it. The psychiatrist said the same and I had to come back several times until he gave up and gave me a test and questions and stuff and then he was like 'do you even understand that you lied to yourself you made yourself believe all this stuff about yourself and now if I write this on your medical profile you'll have to take pills and never drive and blah blah blah?" I asked him if that meant I had the diagnosis. He kept saying that I cheated to get it, but God, this is not some math thing to cheat at! People keep saying ADHD is a kids' thing and no adults have it. We're just faking we're like everyone else. We're chameleons, blending in. And we know how much effort does it take. The ones who say we don't exist are just ignorant. Thank you for being here for us all, Dr Sage. P.S.: my mum, 66, is the one I inherited ADHD from. She says it's great to understand at least now that she's not wrong, she's just different. My heart aches for her and for everyone who believed themselves to be wrong.

[@bonessasan]

The psychiatrist said WHAT?! I really hope you found a different one. There are times when it's fine to "make do" with what you can get, but I kinda doubt that concept really applies to the psychiatrist treating you. In my mind, a psychiatrist should be supportive and ultimately helpful, not contribute to the trauma and shame their patient already carries.

[@monix_monczix]

Oh Sweetie, I am fully with you here... People do not believe in ADHD...

[@kiraerikson8403]

You know you have adhd when you start to take a pill, then realise you need to do something else first (like get some bottled water to wash it down)--but once you're getting the water you realise you must make a note about something you have to do today before you forget--meanwhile, you still have your mouth open with the pill on your tongue--but after you do the reminder note, you also want to write another note about something else.

[@ilovenycsomuch]

I hate how glued to my phone I am but you never know when things you need to do or remember to do later suddenly pop up & often random other things pop up at the same time & im constantly switching back & forth with the note app on my phone🤦‍♀️🤯

[@katherinegood7509]

I did not know Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria was a thing, but it makes SO MUCH SENSE to me and sounds like pretty much my whole life until better dealing with it starting a few years ago. Just another new thing I've learned since finally receiving my "official" diagnosis about a month ago at age 37.

[@homaheikkila679]

It is outrageous that we do not pay more attention to this issue. Thank you.

[@brandymj2900]

First specialist I’ve ever heard give attention to women’s monthly cycle and hormonal changes. So good to see!

[@heedmydemands]

I've just been told that I probably have ADHD, it was a diagnostic impression, this was great to help me get a picture in my head of what it is

[@DaraS84]

Phew. The rejection sensitivity hit hard. So many of these fit me and I just thought it was my personality quirks. But...my oldest son has ADHD and my youngest is autistic with moderate support needs so, this makes a lot of sense.

[@battle_beanz]

As soon as she said this I sobbed, I knew there had to be an explanation.

[@YourMom-iy6cv]

People think if they fidget or can’t sit sitll they have adhd but sometimes it’s just circumstantial and they are just really understimulated but adhd is a mind that is just very low on dopamine and needs to get that hit every time. Adhd struggle with rsd because we have higher emotional dysregulation which means we are more erratic and less stable. We are hypersensitive and feel emotions more intensely than others especially people with ASD. We have meltdowns a lot and suffer from RSD because of we are used to letting other people down. We also struggle with waiting mode and being distracted by an important event we are nervous or excited about

[@Dee-Ann_Louise]

Dr. Kim... would you please leave the words on the screen just a little bit longer. I read what you post and learn from it and find it helpful. I find myself stopping the video and tracking back to the written segments so that I can read the entire screen. Thank you 😊

[@h33-q8w]

You can just pause the video when the words are on the screen...

[@francescagreetham1804]

The ditzy thing and speaking incredibly fast is scarily spot on. I never knew how to present as a teen when there were lots of people around because it was too overwhelming. And I still struggle with people saying they can’t understand me cos I talk too quickly. I always thought I had something wrong. And I used to be a chronic daydreamer ever since a small child - what I now realize to be maladaptive daydreaming. I never used to understand how anyone could stay focused on anything at school or on anything that required mental attention for a prolonged period of time. I also used to kind of tic when I did it and no one understood what was going on because it was an internal experience. I presented incredibly “normally” and well behaving except for this thing. It makes me so glad to hear about all these symptoms because I realise I wasn’t just being “weird”.

[@breklein3338]

holy crap, anyone else freak out around 4 minutes when a fluffy pillow started moving in the background? LMAO the cat blended in so well!!!

[@breklein3338]

^ this is how we know I have ADD hahahaahaa

[@desuusjes]

I had the same reaction😂

[@vd9arcia324]

😂😂😂

[@ilovenycsomuch]

Thank you for point that out😍

[@babybluecheeks]

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12 or 13. I'm 42 now. Even though I was diagnosed, none of my teachers believed it was real. A lot of people still roll their eyes and think it's made up. It's extremely annoying and upsetting. I'm trying to get help and have been on a long waiting list to be medicated, no other help has been offered. I also have an anxiety disorder and bulimia. I hate that their is so little help here in the UK. That is unless you're rich.

[@faeriesmak]

I am sorry that you are going through all of that.

[@DrKimSage]

I’m so sorry you’ve spent so many years struggling and still don’t have the support you need🥺sending love ❤

[@ronesss33]

Just know there are people out there that believe you and support you. I had to stop trying to convince people of its legitimacy and focus on those who get it. Find your people! 😻

[@mishmash2136]

That makes it so hard. I am apprehensive about sharing my recent diagnosis with general people, other than those close to me, for fear of those very reasons.

[@MargaretWalkinshaw]

Oh my goodness, tell me abt it! (The UK lack of help), diagnosed autistic, waiting (endlessly) for ADHD assessment.

[@nogimma]

Thank you. You nailed this, and brought me to tears. I was always labeled ditzy but really I was hyper focused on a task( tuning other people out) in fear of making a mistake. This goes deep.

[@An_Smiley]

💕Your videos are excellent, and your tone is gentle and full of wisdom.I am a female doctor with ADHD. I have almost all of these signs. I've had trouble focusing since I was a child. When I'm sitting there, my attention gets drawn to anything around me, and when I study, I can't focus for more than three minutes. I've always felt out of place. But I want to become a doctor. When I was preparing for the USMLE, while most people completed their Qbank in six months or a few months, it took me three years🤯. I couldn't focus, and after finishing one question, I wanted to do something else, like cleaning, watching TV, or listening to music. I simply couldn't concentrate. My mother always said that I never stuck to one thing, couldn't focus, and attributed all of this to my laziness and immature🥺. When I entered medical school and interned in the psychiatric department, my supervising doctor told me I had ADHD. I'm still working hard to improve myself now.

[@TheNoviceHomeCook]

You said you were a female doctor then you want to be a doctor??

[@An_Smiley]

@@TheNoviceHomeCook 👀I wanted to become a doctor when I was a child, and now I am a doctor (not in the United States).

[@TheNoviceHomeCook]

@@An_Smiley ahhh makes sense now…. Congratulations, be very proud of yourself for achieving your dream. You must have worked so very hard, well done x

[@AmaranthineIntrigue]

Thank you so much for this video. I am not diagnosed but I can relate alot! I always liked learning in english class because for whatever reason I was naturally good at it and it made sense. Math was a different story. I remember literally zoning out alot of the time, like I could not make my brain think ecen though I was present, maybe I just felt such little confidence in my ability to make sense of and execute through the lesson due to lack of experience to the contrary that I just didn't have the mental drive to try OR did I just not care enough? I really was trying, sort of. It drove my poor mother crazy (I was homeschooled until 7th grade). I did end up acing algebra (the third time) once the third teacher who was so brilliant and caring finally explained things to me in a way that made sense. I could relate to almost everything else she touched on, being shy, interupting, etc. but I will leave it there. Thank you ❤

[@sandraoxford883]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge, it’s really great to learn about myself 😊

[@samiedenton4096]

Yep. Finally got diagnosed with adhd (more inattentive) a couple years ago maybe. And I never realized it until so late, why I was always called out and labeled by ppl closest to me for being so spacey, ditsy, detached, in my own world, LATE, take forever, can’t keep any basic tasks, no sense of time, blurts out weird stuff to people, the list goes ON & ON. It rly is not only so difficult bc of the symptoms and effects it naturally accumulates, but also getting the right type of help is difficult too bc how can I manage to find the right professional(s) to get me thru this and take what feels like a gazilion steps to get there when I can’t even wake up on time or make myself a meal 70% of the time. And all the physical health concerns combined like the chronic fatigue amongst other things. It makes everything feel that much more unattainable. The wall of awful is just a big scary blur that I can’t see through. And you’re right, most people do see me as capable, calm and collected. But I’m a lost kid in the grocery store internally 😂 But I’m wondering if you have heard of the disorder that is finally starting to become recognized more officially, cognitive detachment syndrome (DCS) or formally known as sluggish cognitive tempo (SCT). Ppl are finding that a lot of ppl with diagnosed inattentive type adhd may actually have that instead bc it’s become proven to be a completely seperate disorder than adhd. But it can commonly co exist with adhd, where someone can have both which ultimately leads to even more suffering and difficulty. I came across this recently and I won’t diagnose myself but I’m rly starting to think I may have both.

[@_ashdevs]

Wow. This is the perfect video. It's like you just wrote and narrated my biography 😢 I was diagnosed (ADHD & Autism) earlier this month, a week before I turned 32. I'll be sharing this video around to my family and friends as I'd love for them to be able to process and understand my diagnosis too - and this is a splendidly succinct summary of what life has been like for me, all this time. I'm feeling rather grateful for having come across this video, it really hit home. Thank you 🥹🙌

[@ieattunaeveryday]

I just adore you. You're such a comfort. Thank you so much for everything you do. You're an angel!

[@josephantone7711]

Today in this moment, thank you, Dr. Kim for producing this 21 min video on ADHD in women and girls. As widowed father of a 26 year old woman diagnosed with severe ADHD at age 19, I stopped and listened intently to the list. It adds to my education and my ability to cope on the receiving end of many of the behaviors on the list. I have liked and Subscribed to your content and hope to learn more, as the love that me and my daughter share is so worth it, especially since we both lost our center, her mother and my wife, at age 54 caused by younger onset dementia. Thank you so much.

[@nataliakravcukova3261]

Thanks for sharing, I can relate to a lot of it. I suffered from it especially in high school when I had a hard time, not knowing I had it. Healing to learn about those things. I want to say, I noticed that a lot of those symptoms are the same as in autism. It is on your channel where I discovered I probably have autism. It is complex, I am an HSP empath, have symptoms like oversensitivity to lights, sounds, which you mention in videos on autism as well as ADHD. I think I have both. I had prenatal developmental trauma. I also suffer from OCD and have trichotillomania. I am doing my best to heal from it all or at least manage it so that I can live a better life. Self compassion and gentleness is very important.

[@J-equineheart]

I have many of these traits, I'm 45 and undiagnosed. My 16 year old daughter has recently been diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD and I'm learning a lot through that process about myself too. She's having a rough time and I worry so much about her. I'm going to share this video with her so that she gets another supportive perspective ❤️

[@oiseau_libre]

Same here! Good luck to you and your daughter!❤

[@traceys4243]

What type of Dr did she see?

[@janine9129]

I was formally diagnosed with ADHD today and sought out this video. I had most of the symptoms listed and I feel less crazy now

[@vools8621]

I was in tears whilst watching this video. I can relate strongly to all of the things you mentioned except one. I'm a 46-year-old woman. I need to see a doctor. Pronto. Thanks for sharing this video. New subscriber. Regards from Sydney, Australia 🌼

[@Eurydice870]

Re: individual differences. I would add that if you're intelligent, learning comes easily in most subjects, you will never ger diagnosed if you are largely inattentive. I'm middle 70's now, even the probability of being ADHD didn"t occur to me until four years ago. Just thought I was, um, eccentric/different. My ability to forecast outcomes and trends, intuition, etc. was neither understood by me or appreciated by others. Nor were my aspirational "projects", ever shirting focus. sound familiar? Good luck. Stay calm, carry on

[@jenfizz4312]

This is the best description I've heard

[@sharonvaldez9059]

I am 50, diagnosed mid 30’s after mental and emotional breakdowns…burnt out! My daughter finally listened to me about 3 years ago and got tested and diagnosed at 24. I see so many signs in my 5 y/o granddaughter, but my daughter gets really mad at her and yells sooooo loud. I feel like my nerves are bouncing off every ounce of my body on the inside. My daughter has a bachelors in psychology and doesn’t hear me when I try to communicate (very hard for me especially when I’m nervous) what I’ve learned about myself, and can see myself as the girl girl who was screamed at and bullied, at home from a raging alcoholic half brother 12 years older than me, a single Mom who depended on him to survive and take care of us. His screaming and long drawn out spankings with the belt, in front of my mom who just sat there and looked at me as if I was needing the hell beat out of me about 1-3x per month. This is definitely a trigger for me when my daughter screams. I was also diagnosed with autism a year ago after realllly researching and understanding myself better than I ever have. My daughter and husband (daughters stepdad) both have no empathy or curiosity to hear what I’ve uncovered, much less have zero interest in what I can now see and wish someone would have seen in me, as well as what I didn’t know or see in my daughter. I was told by my daughter tonite that she has her degree and my granddaughters stepmom is an occupational therapist who works with kids (she has no children of her own) and they don’t need outside advice. The ego won’t allow it. They (all 3 parents) work really well together for my granddaughter, but they are all so angry and frustrated that they have decided that belittling, shaming, and yelling at her (in front of us or anyone), is the only thing she understands. My ex screamed and yelled at my daughter, shamed her, belittled her, and her heart was so hurt, and her outlook on life now is she will not let her daughter be a little panzy like she was. She tells her that life isn’t going to be kind to you, I’m making you touch. I just see her being the bully at home, even though she is a great Mom in all other aspects. I’ve walked on eggshells for years and tried to not set anyone off. I have autoimmune, fibromyalgia, ADHD, am autistic, learning disabilities in school (from 4th grade thru adulthood…reading and comprehension, test taking, all bombed! I realize what heavy burdens and shame I’ve carried from family, teachers, bosses, and those who were supposed to protect me, put on me as a 4 year old. I always felt so misunderstood, and learned that trying to explain myself was a lose lose situation. So I buried my feelings, my anger, my confusion, my mental and emotional health were drained and never refilled. My daughter doesn’t want to get my granddaughter evaluated because the first thing she will be given is a pill. I tried to tell her I wasn’t saying a diagnosis was needed, or meds…but being open to seeing what I can see and hearing my words as not a threat but love, not criticizing but sharing insite from a different perspective now that I’m older and can see what I didn’t understand, and wisdom that you get from generations before us…but I’m radically accepting now that this generation doesn’t want what we understand and can see as grandparents, and having compassion, empathy for all of our generations, but create a new branch in our family tree. My heart breaks for my little GD. But if I don’t want to get cut out of their life again for years, I feel like I need to be muffled…which would mean me abandoning myself again and not speaking my truth in love…not to be right, but to be heard with out defensiveness or manipulation…gaslighting…It’s just so hard to have to listen to all that and want to step up for my GD. I didn’t have anyone to step in and stop the attacks on me. I do t want to intrude on the parents choice of how they parent…I just see frustration and anger in them for GD to fall in line and behave. If she had something naturopathic to try she might behave like a completely different child. I pray and give it to God. I think the thing that hurts me as well is my daughter having to look back and see how she treated her baby and not be able to undo damage. And yet that may not even happen. I’ll talk it over with my counselor next visit. God help me surrender the people I cannot change, courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that person is me. ❤️‍🩹

[@Scarly373]

My 8 yo son just got diagnosed with combined/hyperactive adhd. Now I'm wondering if my 10yo daughter has innatentive adhd. Gonna get her evaluated now, sonmany of these are spot on with how she is.

[@vd9arcia324]

I was very successful in school, but God knows how much I hated a good chunk of it. I would day dream all the time; I truly enjoyed math and a couple of other subjects and that’s it! Not sure how I was able to always get very good grades; maybe because I wanted to avoid getting in trouble more than anything else. Always procrastinated and still do; I end up completing my work on time… somehow I’m able to focus on the task I’m struggling to complete only when the pressure grows and it’s been like that my entire life and I hate it! As a mom of small children, I feel a lot of guilt constantly for the things I forget to do with my children that could enrich their development. Anyhow, the list goes on and on. I need to speak to a professional, the more I learn about ADHD, the more I believe I got it.

[@jackiemartinez7129]

Diagnosed at 30. Have almost every symptom and would wonder what was wrong with me. Medication changed my life.

[@HeartFeelings.Sharing]

Thank you so much, Dr. Kim! 🙏💚

[@emm8357]

Just came out of my ADHD appointment and suddenly my entire life made sense.

[@traceys4243]

What type of doctor did you go to?

[@tunydd7775]

WOW this video is great 👍. I am 61 and have just been diagnosed. Thanks for such a clear explanation of ADHA.

[@northgeorgiamom8956]

61 here as well! I’ve suspected for years.

[@Lynee5290]

Thankyou Dr Kim, definitely one of your best. 🙏🏻

[@egregoree3662]

I’m 37 and have been diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type for… I lost track exactly but it might be like 6 or 9 months or so. Sometimes I doubt that I really have it, thinking that maybe the symptoms were suggested into reality after watching videos to learn more because of my son and because it all seemed so strangely applicable to myself. But your video here described me exactly. Every part. I’m not doubting it anymore.

[@sonja_rademacher]

I am so happy that more and more researchers and therapists talk about the different reasons for ADHD. When I posted some comments about how trauma can cause ADHD, I got only very bad response... No one believed me and I was even offended.

[@autismenlightenment]

I was diagnosed w adhd as an adult when i was on the path towards asd diagnosis. Pregnancy made my adhd terrible. My daughter turns 3 next week and im afraid that she will be denied services if she requires them later in life unless i get her diagnosed sooner rather than later. Im burnt out and dont have much confidence in m own ability to communicate w the pediatrician. I want to be prepared but i feel like i was already dismissed on a telehealth appointment recently...

[@BecSparky]

I was kind of able to muddle my way through life, not great at work, not great socially or in friendship groups, couldn't keep the house tidy, struggled to keep a job for more than 12 months, couldn't find motivation or get things finished. When I was diagnosed at 49 It all made sense... Then Menopause hit and "IT" really hit the fan. Low dopamine, low serotonin and no estrogen for those hormones to bind to meant an epic and total mental health crisis. Thankfully therapy, HRT, Vyvanse and SSRIs have helped level me out and I feel better than I ever have. I still feel like a ditz but Im ok with it now.

[@CocoAzoitei]

I'm so grateful for your work. I just found your channel. I've known I was AuDHD for around a year now (I'm 43) though I haven't managed to get on the waiting list for diagnosis yet (chronic procastination alive and well in my life! Lol). Your channel is so comforting - very much appreciate the calming tone/music/background. You feel like an informative hug! 🙌🏻

[@curiousone6129]

Don't do it. Having a formal diagnosis in your medical records can lead to unintended consequences like restricting your driving privileges.

[@CocoAzoitei]

Are you in the UK? That's absolutely not the case here. My best friend is diagnosed and medicated and has no issues with driving! It's illegal to be discriminated against on that basis here and neither autism nor ADHD are required to be reported to DVLA here unless they impact your ability to drive.

[@curiousone6129]

@@CocoAzoitei Here in the US, many things deemed impsirme to and restrict driving privileges. While UK has its own laws. I notice you specified "unless they impact your ability to drive," which is a subjective statement, and is subject to evaluation by others. Personally. I wouldn't want to risk it. Driving is too critical a privileges to ignore. Perhaps you could have the misfortune to be judged by someone in a bad mood, or who has a particular bias, or who is looking to exercise their power over others... Just saying, be mindful of unintended consequences. What is required and what is done may be different matters too.

[@franzi6823]

❤ dear Dr. Sage, love your content! Thank you for pointing out the importance of hormones and (mental) health in women… experiencing it quite strongly now that I am going through the „rough phase“ of my menopause transition… do you know Dr. M. C. Haver? She is an ob gynecologist advocating for menopausal women! She points out these hormonal- mental interrelationships as well! ❤ love from Germany, Europe

[@carissa4110]

Please correct me if I’m wrong but one of my doctors told me that one of my presentations was considered hyperactivity. While I could sit at my desk and do my work, I couldn’t sit still; I would talk a lot. I would fidget and squirm, and if I had to sit through an assembly or a movie, most often my leg would be bouncing 100 MPH. This is hyperactivity, correct? I also presented as inattentive because my fourth grade teacher wrote on my report card that I often seemed preoccupied. It was overlooked because I was a girl (in the 1980s) who read 3 to 5 grade levels above my own, was in the honors program throughout school, finished my work early, turned it in on time, typically, and was on the honor roll every quarter. What they did not see is that I was a disorganized mess throughout my whole life and required a lot of “nagging“ to get my things organized. The only reason I turned work in on time is because I would panic the night before it was due and get it all done in one night. And because in general, I enjoyed learning so I was engaged in most of the work we were doing.

[@HadeerAyman-x1b]

I have the 21 signs, 33 years old undiagnosed female, and it pains me how much i struggled in my whole life, not knowing what's wrong with me.

[@HaleyPine1]

I was just diagnosed this week at age 33 and everything makes so much sense now! I refuse to take medication, so I'm trying St. John's Wort, Vit D + K, ashwaganda, DIM and L-theanine.

[@Megan-gl4zz]

Look into the effects that your diet has on this too.

[@vanessas2363]

Thank you so much! Im going to refer to this in my mentsl health assessment next month. Its extremely helpful. The lightbulb moments through video. Wow. Thank you 🙏🇬🇧

[@Agnes_B96]

I am just pursuing an adhd diagnosis. I realised I am adhd at 28. I believe i am also autistic, but it is easier for me to get adhd assessement first. Thank you for the video! ❤

[@feenikss]

That part about rejection... I was thinking, oh, I'm fine, because I sometimes participate in art contests and more often than not, I don't have any good results, but when you were telling about not being included in outings and similar things, yeah, I'm probably more sensitive about that than anyone I know. Have made scenes...

[@cosmicv3061]

Dear Dr Kim, I have just discovered you today and firstly, wish to thank you for sharing this vital information. What an amazing, brave and inspirational woman you are. 💝 Secondly, after now listening to 3 of your wonderful videos today, so many similarities you have shared about your childhood and present state of being, are relatable to me personally on so many levels (synchronicity for sure). Thank you for being generous to share your snippets of your personal experiences with us, you have opened up my whole world - to traits I experienced during my own childhood (I just gave my inner child a hug & told her I am sorry & shed a tear or two), and as an adult & mother, to where I need to further delve into for research in order to assist healing from both past & present traumas. Thank you again. 🙏🏼 I am sending you a hug from across the seas.

[@colleenjohnson5381]

Thank you again and again and again!

[@laiajulia3322]

It is so hard to have most of people around you telling that your daughter is just lazy, people minimizing her problems and blaming it on me, the mother for defendinng that sometjing is wrong and is not really her fault. It feels really lonely in the diagnose process

[@serenebeth]

So many of these characteristics are similar to females with autism. How does one differentiate? I'm trying to learn, like you. Thanks for your videos.

[@ronesss33]

I’m starting to wonder if autism is actually being over diagnosed in women who have inattentive ADHD instead. Just a thought 😻

[@mishmash2136]

I'm having that issue, been thinking autism for a while on top of adhd. I'm realizing from these videos, slow exploration may be the way for me. She has a video on the overlaps.

[@Catlily5]

​@@ronesss33I have been diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. It is usually much easier to get an ADHD diagnosis than an autism diagnosis. So my guess would be that autism would be missed more often.

[@Dancestar1981]

You can have both I do

[@nickyhomann9071]

So so helpful- thank you!!! Have you done a video on dual ADHD & autism in girls/ women?

[@dbandekar]

Funnily enough, I was diagnosed 6 years ago with inattentive ADHD and I agreed with that diagnosis. However since then, I’ve done a lot of work around accepting myself and have consciously stoped masking. And I feel like I’m more of a combine type now, I’m the woman jumping on her office chair. I’ve also noticed that it does help me concentrate better when I’m more overactive. I wonder how much of it is trying to be normal and how much of it is actually inattentive ADHD

[@seldakaya-rq1dq]

I was diagnosed two years ago when I was 45. Everything, every moment, every stupidity made sense. I got answers to questions I never asked myself. I finally had explanations to so many things, but to unlearn old and learn new things is pretty tough in my age..

[@KimberlyClemmer]

Goodness, I'm 45 and have had all of these symptoms for as far back as I can remember. Wow!!! I do have c-ptsd, anxiety with depression due to a lifetime of trauma after trauma after trauma from a very small child to well into my 30s that have severely affected me. Early childhood molestation, father not in home, being extremely poor, being abandoned by my mother, alcoholism in home, beat, raped and mentally abused by ex live in bf from 13-19, being raped several times throughout teenage yrs an d adulthood, abused. Seeing someone murdered. Among many, many other things. But, everything she mentioned is spot on for me. spaced out in school, acting out at home, self harm at young age.

[@arabellacox]

Check out Borderline Personality Disorder too xx

[@martinakennedy6878]

I’m 69and have felt everything you have said. I dealt with everything sent my way I’m happy and resilient and am nt sure what way your supposed to be 😵‍💫life is crazy just know you do know what to do

[@annjenkinson7988]

Hi martin i am 68 and experienced a lot of this, i feel for you, let's look at the interesting bit of being the way we are. Be all youcan be compassionate with yourself ann

[@KaareneRNHealthLifeCoach]

You just described my 24 year old daughter to a tee! We finally got her treated recently… after years of not knowing what the heck was wrong with her… I wish we knew earlier 😢

[@playnicebereal5850]

Well, crap! This is me for sure but, OK it really makes sense now. This is so heartbreaking and helpful so,💜🧡thank you!

[@leahjhayes9613]

My mind is blown 🤯 - she just described myself and my teen daughter!

[@kakkoyiidesu]

I'm a 17 year old teen and I resonate with almost all of the symptoms in some warying degree except for the substance abuse part. I want to get a diagnose if possible but I don't know any places around me and also I fear that what if my mind is just faking all this symptoms to act as a poor victim infront of everyone and gain sympathy. Also my mother is againt all the therapy and diagnosis and stuff because she says that it all in the head and I'm just forcing this perspective onto my own self and turning myself psycho. I don't know what am gonna do but well I do actually have my first ever online session with a psychiatrist and don't think it's good for diagnosis but I'll try and share as much of my problems with her as possible. Wish me luck everyone!!! ❤

[@YourMom-iy6cv]

Trust me it’s better to get a diagnosis as soon as possible and find out whether you do or don’t have it then suffer from potential consequences of wasting your life having it and not acknowledging u do so you can take something for it. Because substance abuse is the road people with undiagnosed adhd or masked adhd go down to self medicate and it makes us more reliant and low in dopamine which you don’t want.

[@Alina-0915]

Hey, good luck 💗

[@angierivera9807]

Omg thx so much for this vidrp!! You described my whole childhood n beyond. I wish i had meds n an earlier diagnoses

[@veeherreraJanecka]

Appearing ditsy or flighty is caused by disassociating since childhood. For me, anyway.

[@fionahawkins4815]

I got diagnosed 2 weeks before i turned 49. I am struggling. I have RSD in a big way.

[@Lemanami]

RSD - 14:51

[@ambernouri9293]

Ty. I have it ADHD and having hard time understanding and how to cope with it.

[@jenn_jean_kent_artist]

Please do a video like this for adult women and girls with autism asd1, and both AuDHD for women and girls. I’m late identified adhd and autism with Cptsd. So much to learn, I’m 56yo and only learning the past few yrs of these in my life.

[@HeyOlive239]

Listening to your list and in my mind being like „check, check, check,…“ - might be time to go and try to get a diagnosis (I’m turning 24 years old this fall), I have always been masking, since I can remember…It all starts to make sense now…even those VERY specific things like the rejection sensitivity definitely ring a bell!! I am horrible with criticism, even though I want feedback for my personal growth.

[@Eshrimpski]

I feel like depending on who my therapist or psychiatrist is, or if I’m in an ED treatment program, my Dx seems to change, literally every decade…It is super frustrating. I’m 44 and finally asked my psych dr. to put me on the list for ADHD testing. From age 19-27 I had “depression”. From age 27-37 it was BPD…From age 37 until current (age 44), it’s been bipolar…I don’t know what to think anymore…!!!

[@hippieprincess]

As a 21 yo woman with ADHD, it is sooo hard to get taken seriously with my diagnosis, we usually get written off as quirky or energetic which I guess is kinda true but it makes me make the issue "smaller" than what it feels. I feel like the emotional dysregulation and overstimulation aspects are heavily underrated. I'm not on any meds or ever plan to be but I'm really trying to learn about the nervous system reset and grounding techniques.

[@sharonvaldez9059]

Those things helped me, but as soon as I was dealing with the real world, and all the noises, people, deadlines, grocery shopping, housecleaning, money and budgeting, etc, my nervous system was triggered. Medication made a night and day difference especially at work and not feeling so overwhelmed or unable to complete my work. It felt like I was caught in an avalanche and going under. Then the mental and emotional breakdowns would happen. Tears running but I wasn’t crying. No words to understand what was happening to me. Prayers for all of us…this is not easy.

[@babayaga489]

Thank you ❤

[@nyuuuchan]

the issue is, even my effort to get a formal diagnosis is frowned upon. my family say they don't have it so I couldn't possibly have it either 😑

[@ming9625]

Thank you for the great insight! Personally i think ADHD is not always easy to diagnose. Especially because people lives and compensation mechanism can be different. Also, some ADHD look-alike condition can be also misdiagnosed as ADHD... and some can have subclinical symptoms of ADHD.

[@SafetyatHome]

Looking back on my life, and after listening to your podcast, I think I can safely conclude that I am one of the undiagnosed 50 yo “post menopausal”. Thanks Mum, just thanks. 😢😢

[@thescienceofwellbeinguk]

Hey. I've been scrolling through your videos to see if you have any about ADHD (in women) and CPTSD. My therapist has given me a diagnosis of CPTSD and my husband a diagnosis of ADHD. However, many of my behaviours are so in line with ADHD that I said I was surprised I wasn't given an ADHD diagnosis also. My therapist smiled and said that many CPTSD symptoms can mirror ADHD symptoms. So, I'd love to hear your take on that ❤

[@stampandscrap7494]

I have diagnosed CPTSD but was told I dodn't have AdHD. Had 2 years of EMDR most of my CPTSD issues have stopped. All the ADHD symptoms have actually got worse. My daughter and grandson both have ADHD and autism.

[@thescienceofwellbeinguk]

@@stampandscrap7494 EMDR is one of the best therapies, I believe. How interesting that your ADHD symptoms got worse... have you been told why that might be?

[@Megan-gl4zz]

This is all great and well, but what helps? What do you do? How do you fix things?

[@Motherhummingbird111]

This video is great! The quality is so good too. What mic and camera do you use?!❤

[@armyofone13]

The opening music takes me back to 2018 when I was in a YTT and the program owner was obsessed with that song…..explorers of infinity-DJ Drez 🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️

[@rnovotny645]

I always had trouble fitting in and making friends when I younger and still to this day! I wish it would get easier!

[@trekkie-cat]

Thankyou for this! As an aside, that wallpaper is so pretty! 💚💚 Beautiful kitty! 💖🐱

[@ilovenycsomuch]

Wow, I just turned 25 & just got tested for adhd. I was confused cuz most of the report said “average” but at the bottom it says that I meet the criteria for adhd so I’ve been skeptical if it’s true or if I wasn’t giving accurate answers for symptoms & not being completely myself on the day I tested. But I’ve had a lot of issues all on the inside & it’s so frustrating to not have clear concrete evidence of if & what’s truly wrong with me. I have anxiety, I’ve been quite depressed lately, I have passive suicidal ideation a lot, self-loathing, constant wandering thoughts, when I do get angered at home with family it’s EXPLOSIVE, unstable mood & crying way too easily, perfectionism, headaches/migraines (would having hypothyroidism also have any significance?), social anxiety, very lacking in the friend department, I’m slower at everything, I struggle with time management, procrastination, & arriving places on time, I’m an introvert, AND I’ve had dermatillomania since middle school… Ok & wow I haven’t heard of the rejection dysphoria thing but those symptoms definitely do sound like me

[@Dancestar1981]

I was late diagnosed with dual diagnosis of Asperger’s and combined ADHD last year at the tender age of 42

[@lisaschwegel3520]

I have issues with my eyes, is the focus adjusting on this? I'm dealing with the color scheme, she just blends in, but the focus. Thoughts for next video, don't color coordinate with your background, I need stimuli. Thank you for this, though, I just kept my eyes on my notes as much as I could. I'm 61 and recently been made aware I have this. I'm not mad at that, it answers so many questions.