Psychological techniques for fixing distorted thought patterns

[@pridetherapy]

Being a human is so hard!

[@DrScottEilers]

No joke!

[@Seawitch907]

It really brings me down some days 😢

[@zippy66666]

I wanna be a bloody bird instead

[@patriciamharris5664]

​@@zippy66666😂😂😂😂..I needed that laugh. Thank you my friend. You are a wonderful human being.❤

[@zippy66666]

@@patriciamharris5664 no problemos

[@ddewittfulton]

Just to show that the same condition can be triggered from the opposite direction, I was a good student. I was on the Dean's list. Received two master's degrees. People told me I was smart. I genuinely know that I know things. But my distortion is that I have the wrong sort of intelligence; that I am somehow "off track." I don't possess "real" knowledge, just useless trivia, and that if if i was truly smart, I would have "figured out" what it was that was missing from my skill set and demonstrate THAT ability. It doesn't help that we live in a culture in America that is suspicious of intellect. Even me pointing this probably sounds like a dodge on my part ("no one GETS me, man!"). But after years and years of trying to pin-point a central cause, I have to admit that most people just want to be affirmed in what they like, what their interests are, and confirmation of their beliefs. THAT'S what make you "smart to other people."

[@meech9309]

48 and I will never forget bringing home a 98 final Grade Point Average in Honors Business. I thought my parents would be overjoyed and pat me on the back, saying I did a great job. What I got from both parents was a serios face and "But why couldn't you have gotten a 100? You could do better." It really crushed me. My friends' parents got Bs and Cs from them and took them out to dinner. I remembered wondering what was wrong with me. It really sticks with you.

[@heatherjohnson333]

Every single time I listen to one of your videos, I find another way to improve my mental health, which is the most important goal I have right now. So, I realized (after listening to one of your videos) that I should start every day by consuming helpful mental health related content, specifically your content. That is what I've done over the past two days. Wow! What a great idea. Thank you for being one of the best parts of my day, and for helping me to understand my brain, which, as you said, can by my very worst enemy. I can do this! I can recover from these painful mental health disorders. They do not have to be a life sentence.

[@lailanitukuafu]

I was thinking about this in the few minutes following the end of the video and 2 things happened: 1 - While talking to my mom, I literally went through the personalization distortion like five minutes after he talked about it. It was very fresh on my mind but I still did it without realizing it in the moment. Psychology is CRAZY and the false belief that I just defended goes a lot deeper than I thought it did 2 - I realized that I simultaneously struggle with both personalization AND the feeling that I'm invisible and no one ever sees me or cares. Logically, there's literally no way that those two beliefs can coexist. Brains really are so dumb sometimes

[@pairofboxers1]

This is so familiar...I think it's my fault always. And then I thought how arrogant and beat myself up for that. Going forward I will try to remember it is about false beliefs instead of the judgemental 'arrogance.' Thank you so much for making these. I receive something positive in each one.💪

[@rindys7942]

In my thirties, I found out my high school ACT scores counted as a Mensa qualifying test, and would likely get me in. I sent them off. While I waited, I thought, "If they accept me, that will mean that ALL THIS TIME I was in the top 2 percent of IQ scores. What confidence I would have had! How different my life would have been if I had known that!" When the letter came, I tore it open. Standing in the doorway with the acceptance letter still resting on my fingers and in spite of factually knowing the SOLE CRITERION of acceptance, my first thought was, "Wow! They let anyone in, don't they?" 🙃

[@lynnritchie231]

One of my memories as a child was being told my 'problem' was that I had no confidence in myself. And guess what? I'm now an adult suffering with anxiety, depression and OCD. I've been told by two therapists that it comes down at least in part to a lack of confidence.

[@blueberry44.]

Are you taking any medication for those struggles? I suffer from the same disorders. I'm taking Prozac 40mg and Abilify 15mg.

[@facingthestrange]

Thank you so much for this video and all of your other videos. Somehow you showed up on my KZbin feed, and I have probably already said this in another comment on another video, but every single one I watch, just seems to hit home! I have literally spent 65 years on this planet, under exactly a lot of those false beliefs that I concluded to myself as a child, because of what I was told. I struggle to this day with all of those things! I have seen clinical psychologists before, I have never found one that explains things the way you do. You make so much sense and it’s logical and while you do make it seem simple I know it’s not, and I know you know it’s not. But at least it’s a starting point besides some just talking and questioning to try to help me realize where am I untrue thoughts are coming from. If that makes any sense. Thank you again for being here! You are helping me a ton and I’m sharing your videos with everyone I know who would appreciate them.

[@Tickles_The_Oaf]

I combine self beliefs with personalising. Taking the supermarket example, if a clerk is friendlier to another customer and not very friendly with me, even though I was friendly, I’ll assume that it’s because every single person can sense that I’m just not as worthy a person to be treated with kindness. Like I’ve got some force field around me that sends unconscious signals to others and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. So if someone DOES treat me as though I matter, my automatic thought is “This person is unhinged. They don’t know me. Cuz if they did, they’d keep away.” Also, I’m autistic. So there’s that too…

[@sandrafisherhayes3219]

Wow! You are literally describing me Scott! 😮 however I have worked very hard on my self concept and dropped all of those unwarranted beliefs about myself. I was led to believe that everything that happened to me was my fault or 'I must have done something to provoke the person who wronged me...which l unfortunately led me to feel I alone was responsible for everyone's unhappiness or crappy day. TYSMFS ❤

[@lesliethurston2151]

Pivotal. Thank you! Growing up with a narcissistic parent, I often find myself mired in many of these distorted modalities. Credit to your glowing efforts, I am finally aware of these shortcomings.

[@Sg4809]

Im so glad i found you

[@DrScottEilers]

I’m glad too

[@parkesh7804]

❤ ​@@DrScottEilers ❤

[@vanessaprincesssa]

This is the video that I should keep on repeat, because my brain loves catastrophic thinking and I LET. IT. 😂 This ends from now on since I have the knowledge. 🎉

[@bctesla]

Failure to live my true belief system at a very early age , caused me guilt , hate , depression, anxiety , which eventually led to rare skin disease . I mean my messed up mind caused my body to go haywire . You speak the truth my friend . I am new to channel , and I will watch other videos . To see if I can get inspired . But what you speak of is more common than most even realize . Thank you Charles

[@kenandurrance3470]

May I ask what rare skin disease? Everything you mentioned sounds very similar to my experience. Very odd, random health problems and struggled with mental health since I was young.

[@bctesla]

@@kenandurrance3470 Erythrodermic Psoriasis. 3 years of hell .

[@Supraordinare]

Dude....Sir/Dr. Where have you been these past 10+ years? I am so serious. ❤

[@juliemaitland1176]

So glad you sorted out your belief systems and became the man you are today❤ You manage to make what is a very complex and often confusing subject understandable and relevant. I have ME and suffer with brain fog and cannot concentrate on one thing for long. I’m not sure I remember as much as I would like (but I can always watch again) but I am beginning to question how I think and feel as a direct result of listening to you. I am at the moment struggling with the loss of my mum and having trouble navigating my consequently changing emotions. I’ve no one I can really talk to or close family now and I do wonder whether I really want to be here at all. I am sort of coping by telling myself there is a way out if I need it which is obviously not good thinking but it’s keeping me going. I have watched one of your videos about suicidal ideation which is probably where I am. But I find it quite frightening being in that place and having those thoughts. I notice you are soon putting out another video discussing suicidal ideation which I am very keen to see. I have been offered an appointment with a psychiatrist which I will accept but I doubt they will have the ability to really come through the way that you do. You make me feel you are talking to just me, a kind of virtual hug if you like, and I can respond to that. I am very vulnerable and feel, mentally at least, much younger and less able than my 72 years suggest. I suppose losing one’s mother is in some ways the most traumatic death we have to face. She gave you life and if you were lucky (which I was) there is an unbreakable connection which surpasses any other. I’m probably talking a load of nonsense here but I have a lot of raw emotion to unburden somehow. If you are reading this, Scott, thank you for going the extra mile to help people make sense of their world. I hope you DO know how valuable your sessions are😊

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

I realize your loss must be considerable and the grief and void you are feeling must feel like a chasm much of the time. I hope the most crushing part of the grief has subsided somewhat. I hope it's not too soon to point out, that you were fortunate to have your mom for so long in your life, and to have such a great mom. To have your mom until 72 is pretty rare, so your mother must have lived quite a long life. I'm glad you were so close, and you must have some cherished memories. Not everyone has that. It's a bigger loss the better it was, but for some, the loss of something they will never get to have, a great parent, that can be sometimes worse in the end.

[@lucyloojones2779]

You ar emotionally responsible and under great stress, I am feeling that you are exactly like me! It can be a lonely life, but it’s better than no life! You are well educated and sound like a person that is Very sensitive! I wish you well, God Bless! I lost my son this year, so identify with the destructive feeling that such a thing can be! Dr Scott is a rare Blessing..we are lucky to have him!

[@patriciamharris5664]

You are a wonderful human being and we love you ❤ Please stick around. You have us.❤

[@jomckee4447]

For ten years of school, from age 5 to 15, I was told, thru chronic teasing and bullying, I was useless, an annoyance, unworthy. It carries throughout adulthood. Every day.

[@deotexh]

I think it's not much but, I belive you are worthy of love, affection and security. Stay strong... 😔✊❤

[@jomckee4447]

@@deotexh Thank you so much. It does mean a lot 💚💚💚

[@deotexh]

@@jomckee4447

[@deotexh]

@@jomckee4447

[@klanderkal]

I wish i knew all of this... when i was a child,.. always getting scolded, put down, and beat with a homemade belt. Wish i had a better foundation. Im old now... i could have been so much better/happiest...

[@junegagnon6506]

Yes, I would like to say also how glad I am that you have been sent to me !! I am understanding that even if I am an older person I can change my story for the better...

[@Yolduranduran]

I just turned 55 and took early retirement. my main goal is to find out who I really am. I am not that job and I left because i started to hate it. I was a social worker and as such you give, give, give. I am so exhausted. In my family I have been a caregiver for years and years. i dont want to do that any more, at least as little as possible. Now, I am getting older and want to live my life on my terms for as long as i can. I am done. I never really wanted to be or do many ot the things in my life.

[@mel3256]

So common for many women. Hope you find a great community of supportive women friends

[@wuwayfunzay]

Damn Doc WOW!! First I want to thank you for helping me. this is a very good topic for me because its what I am working on for myself now. The thing I have to remember is that I am not my thoughts and so many people define themselves with there thoughts and they are not always right. So then your thoughts become your beliefs and then a faith that turns into a sort of falls self or ego. And it just keeps snowballing down a mountain. Conscious faith is liberating Emotional faith is slavery Manufactured faith is Insanity.... Brothers and sisters go inside that darker quite single place in your heartmind. Surrender and let go and discover the great equanimity that is inside each of us. The bright light of loving kindness is there waiting for you to pick it up and use it to change your sorrows into gold. At the very least it will keep you from clawing your eyes out from this insanity we create. have a good day ;-}

[@DrScottEilers]

Precisely ❤️

[@KittyBeats85]

LOVE the visual of cognitive distortions and the curve around our beliefs. Makes so much sense!

[@thelammas8283]

I often feel that my mind is not my friend. Then I remember, that to produce life may have taken trillions of planets and billions of years. The fact that we can think, that we are conscious is an absolute miracle, and it is that same brain that makes that possible. Then it seems an incredible tool we can play with for a very short time. Maybe we are taking ourselves way too seriously. Our lives are not really that important. Have fun with that amazing tool. So belief system: My brain is a tool, a toy, rather than not my friend.

[@bctesla]

I never had guts to stand up for what I thought was right

[@jadedone6900]

OMG... I put my groceries on the belt the same way... not only to make the cashier's job easier, but because I used to be a cashier and it does help.

[@parkesh7804]

Different cashiers won't prefer as you think.

[@MUQADON]

you are brilliant bless your heart ⭐️

[@DrScottEilers]

Wow, thank you

[@HereticReborn]

I so get the grocery store belt thing.

[@ponderingsojourner]

Spot on for my journey

[@paularowe1574]

Helpful stuff!!… I do the same thing in the grocery store checkout! 😆

[@DrScottEilers]

What’s with our brains? 🙄

[@CAM-fq8lv]

Clearly explained. 5/5!

[@MitchellCH]

3:30 don’t forget that science and education are belief systems as well. Or perhaps realize for teh first time that science and education are beliefs systems.

[@jenniferfullmer4783]

I do the same thing with my groceries! I get very irritated if my companion doesn't follow my system. I accuse them of being selfish, lazy & inconsiderate to the cashier (in my head). But that particular brand of taking things personally/false belief is a subject for a different video :)

[@bctesla]

Yes my brain was taught early on that Catholic life mind and Spirt was only way to have a happy and peaceful life .And yes I was told what I should do to be successful.

[@denisemerillat5407]

Dr. Scott, I do the same thing at the grocery store, but not for the altruistic reason you do. I do it because the people in Texas who bag groceries won’t do it right if I don’t. 😂 That being said, I do have issues with personalization, mostly in my professional life.

[@charitysmith5245]

I 100% would do the same thing with the groceries and cashier....i fawn with strangers constantly and wonder why they are looking at me like im off....they arent focused on me at all. Hypervigilance at its best 😂

[@dinamiller9744]

Some times I wish I was a child and could start over again 😮

[@Theresa-zx7yp]

Thank you

[@sharonselvidge8307]

Excellent❤!

[@katherineprice96]

So so helpful! Thank you!

[@LG-nn4tr]

Wowww I really like this explanation

[@DrScottEilers]

Thanks for liking

[@loisannarter725]

Thank you!!!❤️

[@papa20117]

Very informative video ❤

[@DrScottEilers]

Glad it was helpful!

[@maureendrozda9960]

This Is GOOD!!!👍 This Cuts Right To It!🙌 Having A Human Brain IS A Burden!😶‍🌫️ And An Endless Challenge!🤯 And An Amazing Gift!😯 And A Big Responsibility!😳 The BELIEF System Part Is ESPECIALLY Critical To Understand & The Daily Trauma For Those Who Struggle With Borderline Personality!!! That's Also Why DBT Is SO Great!!🙆 And EYE OPENING!! Should Be Taught In Grade School!!!🤷 Can You Talk About The Benefits - To ANYONE & EVERYONE - Mental Health Diagnosis Or Not - Of The DBT Skills??

[@annettefournier9655]

Ha! But the grocery store thing is how i want my things to be bagged up to avoid squashed bread and my chicken being contaminated by hair conditioner. Control issues? Maybe. But i really hate squashed bread and poison chicken 😂. ❤

[@marmaniac]

I’m below zero:) But seriously, thank you! Very relatable as usual

[@lawtonbrewer4107]

I assume that somehow self-sabotage plays into this scenario. I believe I 'm a failure, but I'm actually good at something or I succeed at something. I then behave in such a way as to confirm that I'm really a failure after all. I blow things up, so to speak. At the very least, I downplay my successes or I ignore them. I don't try, in other words. Trying risks REAL failure, and I'd rather fail on purpose than to confirm that I really am a failure. Another component is that I've always had severe religious issues stemming from the indelible conviction that God hates me. As a result, I hate both myself and God. It's crippling.

[@educouchez6709]

You could re-record de video. The content is good, but very difficult to follow due to this stressing bad audio quality, this back reverb makes it tiring to discern the words. Thank you anyway… you have very wise and helping videos

[@cassieoz1702]

Love the thumbnail of Huberman poking his brain 🤣

[@adrianavanleeuwen7981]

Oof, I wasn't familiar with "personalizing" and I wish I had been, that's very much been my problem for many years. I always assume that people are going to hold me responsible for more than they reasonably can and be upset with me when I fail to read their minds, anticipate their needs, etc., and whether that's justifiable or not, it's more uncomfortable to take the risk than it is to bend over backwards.

[@liliya_aseeva]

Is it really worthy to combat those presuppositions if they give us a stronger motivation? I'm slightly worried that if everyone started to do only what's expected by a median level, the median level itself would slide further into idiocy and laziness.

[@johnwade892]

Thanks for making all this easier to understand and even laughable. 😁

[@meganjohnson9540]

Good going, doctor. Respect. Also, thank you so much. ps. I kill at math and I’m a girl…so there.

[@johnmitchell8925]

I'm street smart and when a woman tells me she loves me I 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♀️ the other direction

[@MARCIA.ZZZZZZ]

It all got in and it refuses to get the hell out

[@shogun8-9]

If I had seen the 5s, I would have doubted them to no end and see all my 3s and 4s as actually 1s and 2s. Similar result...

[@vidarodinsson]

Haha, big block Mopar motor in the thumbnail

[@bctesla]

Or to just be a happy frog in a well

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

2:46 TIL: I'm 78 years old

[@MARCIA.ZZZZZZ]

Being human sucks

[@djsparkyy]

Great content. Just don't record in that space anymore. It sounds terrible.

[@DrScottEilers]

These were the old days 😂

[@evardmcintosh8722]

If you ever play games, I'd love if you try "Persona5 Royal".

[@DrScottEilers]

Classic

[@bctesla]

Please help me dude ……

[@nonessentialNPC]

I wish i was a cat

[@DJOHER111]

Hhhhh oh my allah help us is it true a burden ❤

[@forrest2416]

Scott, thanks for your willigness to help, but this video is full of psy stereotypes, cbt and these nonsense. I Dont blame you mate. You can challenge the psy establishment by exploring real life explanations. Take care

[@1957rayboconfederatecitizen]

I’m to old to repair my brain

[@1957rayboconfederatecitizen]

I don’t think my brain has ever worked right

[@joejones4296]

Thank you.