Understanding the Differences: Feminine Men vs. Trans Women!

[@chanellesadoll]

As a transfemme who still has to suppress my trans identity and which creates this dilemma of whether or not I'm simply a feminine guy, this video is a holy grail. And I DO have a strong disconnect from my assigned gender at birth and always imagine living like a stereotypical woman cause that's who I truly am on the inside regardless of how feminine I like to present myself. Thank you Dr. Z for always being so fabulous and outspoken 🥹

[@DRZPHD]

Always happy to help!

[@frishter]

@@DRZPHD "Help"...

[@ambientjohnny]

How are men or women "supposed” to think or feel, want to dress like or act? You must be able to provide specific standards for each sex for what you are contending to make any sense whatsoever. If there is no correct way of being a man or a woman, then how can there be a "mismatch" between what they are and how they feel?

[@benjaminollis]

All identities are ego, and therefore illusory

[@calliope4293]

We aren’t called to manage sin; we are called to repent and forsake it. The Bible teaches that sin is something to be turned away from, not merely tolerated or accommodated. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, the apostle Paul warns that behaviors such as effeminacy, along with other sinful actions, are not in line with God’s design for us. The passage says, ‘Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.’ This means that behaviors like effeminacy-often viewed as men adopting traits or roles traditionally associated with women-are to be repented of and forsaken. Christians are called to live in accordance with God’s word, turning away from sin, and seeking transformation through Christ.

[@kiwi_likes_you]

Edna Mode from the incredibles giving me clarity on my gender wasn't something I expected today but thank you

[@roberine7241]

glad i am not the only one

[@k.lambda4948]

Edna mode turned out to be the Big Sister we needed 8) "And call me when you get back dahling. I enjoy our visits"

[@the_amazing_el]

i'm what i would call a more masc-leaning tomboy trans woman, and it took me a long time to *really* accept my identity for a lot of the reasons i think this video touches on. i was okay with being perceived as masculine, but very much *not* okay with being perceived as a man. eventually i came to the conclusion that when i looked at other women, i was seeing a fundamental part of myself reflected back and the rest is history! you definitely earned yourself a new subscriber here!

[@DRZPHD]

Appreicate your support as a subscriber.

[@Rolan7196]

Yeah similar! I really don't care for dresses and I get gender euphoria from being strong, but it all feels so much more right in the context of being a strong *woman* in jeans and jackets. There are lots of women like me! They were my role models growing up! I just thought I couldn't be like them... but I can :)

[@the_amazing_el]

@@Rolan7196 yep! i feel like a unicorn among unicorns sometimes lol. pre-transition i always thought of strength as something for other people, never something i could be or obtain myself. but i find this kind of unexplainable resolve/certainty in womanhood and my self-esteem is *infinitely* higher now.

[@alexisvan222]

I share much of this. Thanks for posting.

[@StanleytheCat-v8z]

That sounds like it was hell to figure out.

[@SaintDelilah]

Just wanted to thank you so much for everything you do. I used to watch your videos while i was in my questioning/imposter syndrome phase. I've now been out and happy for almost 2 years. Nowadays i no longer need content like this but its so great to see how you are still helping those that do. You are simply wonderful.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

Expression =/= Identity. I often bring up how I know gay men who were far more gender non-conforming than I ever was growing up. Yet I turned out to be trans and they did not.

[@DRZPHD]

Yes! Expression is just a way of presenting and showing up in a world. It can be tied to identity but also doesnt have to.

[@MoobloonGale]

You're not trans. You have a sexual paraphilia

[@Iceyicez]

Your name is FrozenEnbyWolf. So I know that is not true. Showing skin and doing drag doesn't make you less of a man. Infact I'm quiet insulted you compared the scenarios. Edit: Quite, not quiet. Autocorrect.

[@Iceyicez]

Non binary is not transgender. You're valid, apart of the Umbrella. But you are not a type of trans. They are different things.

[@itsveezie]

The eye-opening question I asked myself was "would I rather be perceived as a feminine man or as masculine woman?"

[@scarletdragon1019]

Yeah sometimes I would like to be a woman for the experience and have it easier with guys, but mostly due to the scarcity in my life... I'm bisexual but have a hard time meeting new people, or dating both men and women. But what's the point of being a trans woman if you will be perceived as a "masculine woman". I'd rather be a feminine man. That's the way I see it. Besides, I can be a femboy, I can wear women clothes, I can wear makeup, I can act feminine sometimes. I can express all that as a man and go back to being masculine anytime I want to. So, even though I would like to be a woman sometimes, and I know I would enjoy it, chances are my life would be much better and if I was, one or two of my friends would love to fuck me and even be in a relationship with me, but I can't leave that masculine side of me behind, I just would not be able to. I also enjoy the company of women, so being trans is a no-no for me

[@mzwetlovequeen]

What answer did you come up with?

[@HelloElliScott]

This segment was a total "so that explains it!" moment for me. Again, thank you Dr Z. I've been transitioning M2F for several months, and the one thing I've always wrestled with as far as I am/always been is the feminine man vs. trans question. Thank you for that TONS of making it clear for me that I *am* genuinelt transgender (or nonbinary at the very least) so it's now one less mental thing to cloud my transition. You've been an incredible help just with your video segments to so many people, Dr Z. May The Universe bless you endlessly.

[@vulgarnecrolatry]

This has been very nice to watch. I recently started HRT a few months ago and the further I go the more I realize that I do think I'm okay being binary as a woman as the changes come, as opposed to being non-binary. I think I'm much more comfortable being seen by others as a somewhat "masculine woman" rather than a "feminine man."

[@MoobloonGale]

You will never be seen as a masculine woman, you will always be clocked as a man and present as terrifying to actual women. Stop this misogyny

[@FoxNinja4000]

I been needing this video for two months now. It has definitely confirmed to me that i am a trans femme.

[@MoobloonGale]

You are not. You are a man and always will be.

[@Danni-5]

I always wanted to be the opposite of a tomboy and thought it was so unfair there wasn't one, having locked my female side away repeatedly for years at a time I'm finally expressing it, but I think I'm heading towards trans femme, I have moderate dysphoria, and haven't allowed myself to really think these thoughts. Dr Z's videos have really helped me open up to myself, I'm trying to have these conversations with myself, but I don't think I'll really know what I want without experiencing it fully for an extended period of time, not just days and weeks but months maybe a year. The big problem for me is that my wife doesn't want a wife she wants a husband, and I'm holding myself back on so many levels because of not wanting to hurt and or loose her from my life. Thank you Dr Z your videos have helped me so much. D

[@ChristianCatboy]

I initially thought that I might be "gay", but... gay men typically aren't obsessed with wanting to be "castrated" or grow their own boobs. I also never felt like a "man" (or much interest in being one), even 20 years after male puberty. I don't identify as a "woman" either, though -- just as trans-female. Most people probably take me for a "drag queen" or "sissy". That's not ideal, but it will take time for society to accept nonbinary people.

[@alemusicgirl]

then you realize you have a sissy fetish and autogynephilia

[@thelemon5069]

​@alemusicgirl not a real thing. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19591032/

[@maddiesaoirse]

I'm a trans woman. Pre transition I was a motorcycle mechanic for over 20 years. Road raced motos for years. Still enjoy risk taking and wrenching on machines. It was hard to reconcile this with my femininity until I recognized the colossal level of misogyny involved in that way thinking.

[@PeteyHoudini]

You are fantastic. So great to have found you. I'm a feminine man. Never knew that expression before. I'm happy with my body.

[@Lenny-Cech]

Dear Dr. Z. Thank You very much. Due to listenning Your "lectures" I definitely recognized that I am transwoman. And also the fact, my problem can be elegantly handled. Now I can say, that not my "feminine" hobbies but my constant daydreaming of having feminine physical attributes a being accepted in feminine role is symptom of gender dysphoria. Once more much thanks. Lenny.

[@MoobloonGale]

If you need a youtuber to convince you of who you "really are" it's not who you really are. Your daydreams are sexual in nature and you know it.

[@yetanotherrandomguy3157]

I am transfemmme, but very deep in the closet for safety reasons, and that sometimes makes me feel like I'm faking it or im just a feminine man. But every time i begin having those thoughts, I run into videos like this that just confirm that I'm actually trans that that helps immensely, thank you.

[@DRZPHD]

Yes, if you are scaling back for safety reasons, it may start creating a narrative "what if I am not trans after all" inside of your head.

[@TyroKitsune]

I distinctly remember it being summer and I had taken to wearing a summer dress inside as it was the only thing I had that let my body breathe properly. I needed milk, but lamented that I had to put on male presenting clothes just to go to the shops. From then on, I promised I would try crossdressing more seriously at some point. Aaaaand a year on, it's been *alot* but am still here.

[@MoobloonGale]

Fetishistic transvestism is not the same thing as being trans. Stop this insanity.

[@ShadeCandle]

This is why I wear a kilt! Recommend it, if you haven't tried. Though I'm a ginger too, so it works for me to just look Scottish, haha ;)

[@TyroKitsune]

@@ShadeCandle A touch late since coming out as Trans but appreciated.

[@SamKole-h1j]

Not hiding here, but I can only think a recent conversation helped prompt the topic of this video 😉 (Dr. Z is one of the nicest people to chat with if you ever have a chance to speak with her)

[@DRZPHD]

Ahh thank you! And yes, a lot of my videos are infomred by conversations with community and questions people struggle with. Hope this shed some light.

[@kayashimz]

This is 💯🔥 Thank you for further validating my choice to transition a few years ago. This was a bit emotional for me because I can definitely relate. I started watching your channel just before I sought therapy and started my transition. Now, I'm less than two weeks away from GAS. I can't thank you enough! ❤

[@MoobloonGale]

Don't do it. You WILL have serious complications, you WILL become incontinent, and you will always regret it

[@katasasin]

Thank you for your explanation! Two years ago I didn't know anything, but wanted to have female body shape, and without beard as well. Almost all wantings was about body... I also wanted a feminine identity as well, but without knowing anything about trans. Now I'm close to 14 months HRT (got breasts and some of feminine shape), and changed my official name to a feminine one. Also removed almost all beard.

[@Shalanaya]

I agree so much with what you say about feminine men, I feel like this balance is so much needed in men these days, it seems that by nature they are usually also more secure within themselves. As a trans woman I have been also more attracted to these kinds of men since I was little.

[@MariaRiveriaHernandez]

I’ve met many gay men who were insecure with their sexuality and body and tried transitioning. I think being a woman is being comfortable within yourself.

[@fyrefighter13]

I was 100% one of those "I'm fine with my sex/body" trans women at first. Six months of hormones and socialization and I couldn't stand it anymore. Yeah... TOTALLY fine with it.. lol

[@DRZPHD]

Yes sadly the denial can run deep.

[@JavedAlam-ce4mu]

Is it possible that the hormones can have that effect?

[@thelemon5069]

​@JavedAlam-ce4mu if you put a cis person on cross sex hormones you'd give them dysphoria

[@Kaydok001]

​@@JavedAlam-ce4muMaybe theoretically? But there's no ethical way to test this. It would involve giving people who are not trans and/or do not want hormones hormones and seeing if they are okay with the effects. But if I had to guess, probably not because things like breast development in cisgender men and boys causes severe distress similar to the distress seen in transgender boys and men when they develop breasts. And cisgender women also commonly have distress when they have more facial hair than typical, and transgender women commonly have this distress as well. These are just 2 examples. Sex hormones also don't really completely change your personality, interests, identities, ect. Cis men with higher than normal estrogen or cis women with higher than normal testosterone are not necessarily more feminine or masculine than their counterparts in terms of personality or okay with the physical effects caused by their hormone levels

[@cayman9873]

I was born w male parts , but knew by 3.5 that I was completely female. I have worn female clothes, hair, jewelry forever. I have been on estrogen and progesterone and spironolactone for almost ten years.. I have Always identified as a lesbian. I have been trying to get top, bottom and face and voice surgery. Surgeons have not been reasonable. I had an appointment with my gp yesterday, i told her my surgeries Are a need, not a want. If I cant get surgeries soon I have no hope for A future. Of being me. So I will end my life. That is my life

[@christianwilliams1690]

I was doing some feminine man VS trans woman last night, he had a good time I think

[@felixpages2523]

bazinga

[@Londonday713]

Wow.I was wondering this today.But this video confirmed that I am a Transwoman and not just a fem man.I have been on hrt since July of 2021.I am the happiest and most comfortable w myself than I have ever been.I started my medical Transition at 57 yrs young.I am so sad that I lost my younger years to b myself,London.Thank you for your videos. Hugs ❤

[@alexisvan222]

All the best to you.

[@dinahnicest6525]

I'm 70 years old and still don't know which gender I am, but I stopped caring about that many years ago because either way, my life will be the same. I've always wanted to be a woman but I've also always known I'll never be a halfway decent looking one. So I spend about 90+% of my life as one but by preserving my ability to pass for the type of man that is commonly accepted, I can avoid the worst of the nightmares our cruel world has for trans women.

[@ShadeCandle]

This is exactly my situation. At a certain point, we accept who we are, and fitting into gender boxes becomes irrelevant. It's made sense to me as well to present as male (more or less) to avoid the abuse that openly trans women experience.

[@kentalwinweaver]

I like this video. It seems to me an elaboration, expanding on the "Am I Trans" quiz. I also enjoyed the video "Understanding Gender Dysphoria and a Spectrum of Treatment options." One take away I got from that video is the importance of distinguishing trans identity from trans sexuality. Thank you Dr Z for sharing your knowledge and insight!

[@liamthedevastator]

Thanks for the video Dr. Z, it came at such a great time for me. I have been struggling recently with my fears of whether I actually am trans or not, started HRT moderately for feminizing (I'm AMAB) but the breast tenderness in these first few weeks has freaked me out. I have watched your video on that topic so I'm not too worried (thank you for that one too!) but I still can't help but feel like I'm fighting against a wall. You totally laid it out clearly for me here--that wall is my brain trying to stop me from entering the unknown, and the distinction between a feminine man and a trans woman was a really subtle but helpful explanation for me. I am more in the middle of the spectrum but I am definitely seeing how I desire the primary and secondary sex characteristics of a woman, and have wanted that for ages. I have to dig through the archives of your channel but I think I remember seeing a video about whether a person is trans or a pervert... I concluded a while ago that my interest in girls and women started from a place of envy and desire for possession but was hijacked by testosterone, which led to a long history of self hate and fear. I am finding now that looking forward to a feminine body has obliterated my use of pornography and I'm so much more focussed on my relationships rather than being distracted by how envious I am of the women in my life. It's a sad existence. Anyway, wall of text. Thank you so much for another amazing video.

[@roberine7241]

thanks for this video. it really helped. I do feel a bit called out... you definitely erned a new subscriber

[@marti7343]

Many years ago when I came out to my therapist as trans he told me he did not see me that way and I could be a gentle, sensitive man. When I started to have relationships with men that was quite OK. He just did not have a clue what it meant to be trans. I suspect I needed to be some kind of fem boy for him to think I may be transsexual. Sadly, I think there still are many therapists like him. Twenty-five years later after the dam broke I finally found a gender therapist and have been transitioning for two years. It is hard, but I am happier and my life is better. I have the characteristics of a feminine man, but I also have difficulty with my male body and wish it were female. I have all the DSM characteristics associated with gender disphoria. When I explore inside myself I identify as female. I see a man on the outside and a woman on the inside. These are the things that help me know I am a transgender woman. It is not easy and I struggle with passing, but it would make it worse to suppress it. At my age, I think it would be easier if I were a feminine man rather than a trans woman. Are you comfortable with your assigned gender? Do you want to be the gender opposite to what you were assigned at birth? Do you want the body associated with that gender and do you want to live and be treated in that gender? Do those things make you feel better? Those are the keys. Thanks Dr. Z for all you do. You are the best! Martina

[@truly_jade924]

This helped me be even more sure I'm a trans girl. Thanks for the help Dr. Z!

[@danmorley8116]

Very helpful video. Thank you!

[@davefisher1840]

This was excellent and very helpful. I have been on HRT for a little over 3 years and I am very pleased with the body changes. Especially with my breast growth. But I am not feminine acting.

[@MoobloonGale]

AGP

[@averyexe9809]

I appreciate this at the beginning of my journey right now because I do have a lot of stereotypical masculine hobbies as well as well as being a stem lesbian. I do not feel comfortable in my body however. I struggled with the idea of being trans feminine for years due to how masculine I appear and my interest in women. I was truly so closeted that I forced myself to be hypermasculine to compensate. It was hard and is hard for me to come out right now due to this. This video was very affirming in this difficult time. And if anyones reading, it's never too late and you'll find people who accept you. You might feel or be alone for a little bit but you owe it to yourself to feel comfortable in your own skin and be loved for who you truly are. ❤❤❤

[@Giuliana-w1f]

by my definition (as a trans girl myself): be whatever you're the comfortable with. don't focus on discomfort, or medical transition; just try different stuff and see what you like (name, pronouns, presentation, maybe HRT if you want). want to be a feminine man? sure. want to be a trans girl and start HRT? go for it. want to microdose E but still call yourself a man? i don't see why not. want to be a trans girl but not medically transition? totally valid. it's not up to others to define who you are, be it by your presentation, hobbies, desired body or anything; you get to define yourself however you want.

[@chloeducasse]

gosh that makes so much sense !! i have always been on the fence due to having some interests in male activities, but on the other side love female existence and day dream about how wonderful it would be to be an elegant italian woman in an open top car driving in the riviera during the 1960s ! :-) i guess it comes down to whether you'd slam your hand down on that proverbial 'easy button' - YES. you are wonderful and love your videos.

[@paulmiles3457]

I felt a bit like I had to choose one, when I am thinking in the back of my head there are other options such as bigender that I feel more comfortable with. I also think there are aspects of both denial and acceptance in my masculinity that point more to bigender, and I would not like to be forced to go one way or another! Well, the video has achieved giving me more to think about, and even more of what it is not, so good!

[@SAMANDY1]

How do you define NB trans of choice but no genital dysphoria? Thanks for your great content...

[@user-xy4ff5yp7b]

Fascinating video btw!

[@stulee5314]

This is amazing. I would describe myself as a ‘femme’, I’ve been cross dressing since I was 14. Female friends comment that I have a feminine energy . I’m super sensitive, receptive and prefer the company of woman. Many years of confusion led me to start exploring and learning to be relaxed about those daily thought processes, that for years would cause conflict. I don’t want to be a woman, even though I would prefer to be free to express my feminine aspects , I’m married and have a family and in there eyes I’m a guy, although both my wife and daughter often comment about my feminine ways. When dressed I feel feminine and it comes naturally, I feel relaxed, my mind becomes quiet. My only difficulty is being restricted around expressing this aspect. Recently I went out to a bar, in femme mode, I’ve never felt so ‘me’. No alcohol required, socially engaged and confident. The culture is the hardest thing, it has issues with guys like myself. I do feel blessed, I’m starting to love who I am and how I feel, but it’s been a journey ❤

[@paicina]

to be honest i knew the answer to my own question before listening to what you had to say, hehe though you really did do an amazing job at helping to understand the 2. it just really sucks that i am 23? or 24? and still have to hide myself because of family. and oddly enough, while it really hurts being called he/him. it hurts so much more when i have to call my self he/him. but regardless you really did help me comfirm that i am truly a trans woman...

[@dovakhiinmaster2967]

I didn't realize that this video had just been released until the very end. This is almost exactly what I've been thinking about lately in relationship to my gender. I have very low gender dysphoria, but I feel pretty neutral about my body. There are many utilitarian aspects to having a male body/being masc presenting, but I like those aspects for the things they let me do, not as an inherent thing. I also have autism, and the idea of having different genitalia isn't something that I really feel all the way/can understand internally, but in most respects I'd like to have the body of a woman I think. Some secondary sex characteristics (especially facial hair and my voice) are also things that I somewhat dislike in myself, and there are a number of cultural things too. I've also very much enjoyed times where I get to present myself very femininely, especially an online species. I've slowly made my voice more androgynous too, almost subconsciously. at the same time, I worry that various other things are incongruent with the idea of me being trans. I don't know. I'm too undecided and not in a place where it is easy to explore my gender expression outside of my head. in either case, thank you so much for this video, I'm gonna bookmark it and probably rewatch at some point. the key differences you noted (fantasizing about being a woman esp) have been shouting at me for a while, but I've had many reasons internally as to why they do not apply for me. hopefully I can make things work a bit better and understand myself more over time with the knowledge that that is super trans ^^

[@deedoherty4663]

Thanks Dr. Z. I always have feared transition, and yet desperately want to feel normal. Everytime i take a step i think; oh what if I'm just a feminine guy? I could cope woth the dysphoria. Again its mot true, thanks for this video amd foraking that strong distinction.

[@heyyyChlo]

Thank you for sharing this video. I wish I had this resource this summer when my egg cracked and I began deeply questioning. I've talked to three different gender therapists and none of them could offer me this level of clarity and understanding. They "couldn't tell me who I am" and that it was "something for me to figure out on my own" but without a fundamental guideline or understanding to answer this question I basically had to wing it, which is not exactly why you pay therapists to help you out. I had both repressed my femininity (due to social fears and decades of intense subconscious masculine socialization) and had deep rooted, long-term desires wondering and fantasizing about physically having the body of a woman and living life as a woman. Neither of which were adequately properly explored until this year, but when it did hit, this was the crucial question I faced. This video offers so much crucial understanding and assistance to those of us grappling with this fundamental question of "well, how do you KNOW?" It's an incredibly powerful resource. I ended up figuring it out (I'm trans) for the same reasons you list but it took months and months and months of intense hour by hour, day by day, week by week debates and teeter-tottering over which path was really right for me. You are helping so many future questioning people by making and sharing this specific video.

[@abngmg]

спасибо вам огромное за вашу работу.

[@ceruleanstone]

Thank you. It's so simple, yet not very obvious when you're trying to figure this out. I wish I'd had this video when I was coming of age in the '90s. I had this very question then, but it took me decades to find the answer. I'd add that being open-minded, explorative and a daydreamer by default, I also had trouble telling the difference between being curious about what it would be like to be a woman vs. the desire to be a woman. So I thought I was a feminine man for a long time, but I was wrong. The other complication was that although I usually felt neutral or unenthusiastic about my male form, I genuinely enjoyed it from time to time. But overall, I liked the female form a lot more and I'm much happier after starting transition. My true first choice would be to be fully female maybe 85% of the time and fully male the rest of the time. For this reason, I still consider myself in between even though I prefer binary aesthetics.

[@ambientjohnny]

How are men or women "supposed” to think or feel, want to dress like or act? You must be able to provide specific standards for each sex for what you are contending to make any sense whatsoever. If there is no correct way of being a man or a woman, then how can there be a "mismatch" between what they are and how they feel?

[@arismorales9828]

I don't know which one I am, I was happy trying to transition, but I was forced to remain a male, I identify with both feminine man and transgender woman, but I was born intersex assigned male at birth, and my body dismorphia is a strong burden in my life

[@arismorales9828]

I enjoy crossdressing, I feel most comfortable presenting as a woman, I wish to look like a woman, live life as a woman, know how it feels to be a woman, I have genital envy, but I feel neutral about my current genitalia, men's clothing makes me uncomfortable unless I am in soft textured slacks, an elegant button-up shirt that has been tailored to fit and a form fitting dress-up vest, small jewelry and accessories to highlight my outfit, no facial or body hair, eyeliner, a pair of fancy women's boots, and an elegant coat like a leather jacket, trench coat, petty coat or women's blazer or cardigan. Any other masculine expressions of fashion feel slobbish and easy but not comfortable, I had gender reversed roll norms with my ex wife, and have been socially awkward all my life, you know being one of the girls without being a girl (seen as a girl) and the guy with all the other guys that doesn't feel like a guy, and being bisexual adds to the confusion of not knowing what side of the fence i belong on

[@maygayming5275]

I'm one of those people who's identity as a man can coexist with a more distinctly feminine body. I've never had that disconnect with my AGAB and have always been comfortable with it. But I've always had bad body dysphoria and have also identied as a woman as long as I have a man. Man, woman, masculinity, and femininity are all mutually inclusive to me and for me it's all just different ends of the same thing and I'm all of it. Am I a feminine man or a trans woman? Both and neither I'm bigender.

[@MoonStone2626]

Wow this is crucial info ! Thank you so much. I am trying to distinguish which it is for me. This is helping even though I am not totally sure which one I am... Much food for thought. I seem to be with moderate dysphoria, and it is sometimes off not present. But it comes back when I feel inside very feminine. And feeling quite inclined to have feminine gestures, while keeping them under wraps. I also do fantasize being seen as a woman, even though I would not admit it, there is shame associated with it. It is still so tricky!! I so wish I could be a client for you tho I am not in your area (Canada). Thank you !!

[@MoonStone2626]

Perhaps the distinguishing factor is wishing to just be a woman. What confuses me is my shame and also that I have a girlfriend whom I love who is not happy with me transitioning. This shame makes me think, well maybe I am just a feminine man. Oh la la

[@alisabristleface]

​@@MoonStone2626shame is a big one for me, too.

[@ambientjohnny]

@@MoonStone2626 How are men or women "supposed” to think or feel, want to dress like or act? You must be able to provide specific standards for each sex for what you are contending to make any sense whatsoever. If there is no correct way of being a man or a woman, then how can there be a "mismatch" between what they are and how they feel?

[@AffectionsTouching]

I get that the next obvious topic will be masculine women vs trans-men, but i'd love to see a video about cis-women vs feminine trans-men. It's just seems to me that as a tomboy trans-woman or a femboy trans-man it's even more confusing to figure out your gender while not conforming to the conservative gender role

[@Monica-gj2yx]

I did explore being a trans man for two years but I realize I am comfortable being a mid-butch Lesbian.

[@SPTunnelMotor]

Certified Trans Woman by definition of Dr. Z. 1+ year on hormones and transitioning for about 5 years, first came out about 20 years ago. (Began transitioning but couldn't continue due to life circumstances back then.) Even though transitioning can be very hard, I would / could never go back. I don't know how I was able to live as my unauthentic self for so long 😅

[@DRZPHD]

Glad to hear you are doing well and feel happier!

[@chrisbfreelance]

If you are taking hormones how is that authentic?

[@AvinashPersad-lk4yf]

thank you for posting this ...i definitely am a feminine man but i honestly feel erased cuz anytime i say im feminine , firstly i dont get treated with respect or people understand how to treat a feminine man and secondly they ask me if im going to transition.... so i always question should i transition just for people to understand me ... i know its probably a social issue but its really tougher being a feminine man than a trans woman your prospects with dating is better for a transwoman than feminine man

[@Sommyie]

Wow, this is very validating. I'm working on my car now while I'm also wondering where im at. I do wonder what presenting as a woman would be like for me, but anytime i look in the mirror, I'm not sure who that person is. As I've done things to make me feel more feminine, I've felt more myself. My gf called me her gf, and it felt so amazing.

[@sessaly7197]

In my opinion it boils down to what we call secondary sexual characteristics and female body. Being shorter, having a more petite frame, more neotenous facial features, being hairless, having no male pattern baldness etc. What we generally would call a twink is an ideal for a lot of men, and its usually men who consider themselves feminine in personality. So if those men desire a body that's more "twinkish" and feminine in those aspects I don't really see anything in it that has to do with gender incongruency at all.

[@alexisvan222]

So in other words these folks are men? These physical aspects are my ideal, and I also feel that I have significant "feminine" emotions.

[@joshuaclabeaux1470]

Yes, that is me 💜

[@sessaly7197]

@@alexisvan222 Yes, why shouldn't they be men?

[@alexisvan222]

They could be transfeminine as well, especially if they have a feminine-leaning personality. I'm intrigued by your observations. I come close to this description... and wish i looked like a twink again (Im heavy now). Am I a man? Woman? Something in between? I could be any of these in my opinion.

[@ambientjohnny]

@@alexisvan222 How are men or women "supposed” to think or feel, want to dress like or act? You must be able to provide specific standards for each sex for what you are contending to make any sense whatsoever. If there is no correct way of being a man or a woman, then how can there be a "mismatch" between what they are and how they feel? Why is it so hard to accept that the terms man and woman simply denote sex and stage of maturity? Why attempt to attach all these sexist stereotypes to the two terms?

[@jonathanjungjohansen6470]

What you say about how a feminine man feels comfortable with their secondary sex characteristics, but a transperson does not resonates so much - even though i am distinctly nonbinary - i wish i had heard that years ago: So this hits a super relevant spot for me: i was so lucky growing up with a relatively feminine body, and thought i could keep living as a nonbinary person - as a feminine man - until in my mid twenties when my secondary sex characteristics really began showing up. I felt intense dysphoria but thought i could learn to live with it, and identify as non-binary- i did so for far too long. I found out that my non-binary identity fought with the expression of my secondary sex characteristics, and that i had even put up a sort of inner emotional deadening for most of my life. While i've always had deep empathy, i possibly had some normative male alexithymia where i could display emotions , but my own were never felt inside, and were so hard to identify - including my own wants and desires. I began psychoterapy two years ago which was fantastic in coming to self acceptance and working with my own emotions. Nearly a year ago i started transitioning + laser for my body and facial hair. The combination of hormones and therapy has helped so much with my emotions and senses. I should have started both much earlier and listened to myself instead of thinking i would learn to live with it as a feminine man - Stoicism is a horrible thing, and hiding how i liked being "feminine", in expression, role, and feel, even to myself, was horrible looking back. Instead of fighting my body and my secondary characteristics constantly, i can see now that i am moving in a direction that allows me to just... be. I could grow up a boy, be feminine and twinky / elfy, but i cannot live as a (feminine) man - and trying to fit a male mold first, then staving of transitioning, did so much damage to me. The weird thing is, i don't feel like a woman either - but hormones don't really allow one to choose completely: and i would rather have more feminine secondary sex characteristics than male secondary sex characteristics. I am happy that all throughout the process, i allowed myself to express myself how i wanted, with makeup, colorful clothes - but now i also allow myself more "feminine" mannerisms that feel natural to me. Now, i love myself and like myself and where my body and emotional life is. I take life one step at a time, and for now, i feel and say that i am transfeminine nonbinary. And that started by throwing off the label of trying to be a feminine *man*. Now i am just feminine.

[@Loxhaz]

Hi, Can I ask what do you mean with "elfy"?

[@pretzelboi64]

@@Loxhaz Elves are known to be androgynous

[@jonathanjungjohansen6470]

@@Loxhaz Sure! When i was younger, i did not have body hair, and wearing jewelry, soft clothes, long hair, allowed me a more feminine expression that some of my friends called elfy/elf-like. I think it was just because lord of the rings was popular at the time, and the way elves were presented in that movie was more feminine/androgenous than what was common.

[@DAURPA]

I can relate to this conversation because I know for me I’m non-binary transgender and I feel like there’s aspects of femininity that don’t exactly sit well with me. But when it comes to society and how I would like to be seen:perceived , socially that’s female. I think a lot of feminine men are also guarding themselves from the hatred they may potentially face when coming out a a transgender identifying individual or woman. If this helps anyone transgender identities are not monolith like queer identities and we exist in so many different complex ways in fact. If you’re strong enough to identify yourself as transgender that’s a strong enough statement on its own and no one needs to further validate your experience. You are who you are and as long as you know that, that’s all that matters this experience should feel authentic and truly what your heart wants for yourself. Feminine men are Valid as much as transgender Woman are ❤❤❤

[@ShadeCandle]

Thank you. This is very helpful.... and yet, I feel more uncertain than ever. I'm 37-yo, biologically male and attracted only to women/femininity. For convenience, I present and identify publicly as male. But all through my young life I felt that I had been born into the wrong body, hated being a boy, and always felt more feminine than masculine. I still do, deep down. I don't feel comfortable with labels in general, and even shy away from calling myself gender-fluid or nonbinary, though those labels would probably be most accurate. I think that as an adult, I have mostly come to accept my male body (and I am 6'3, very masculine looking, balding - I would make a HIDEOUS woman) and I have never seriously considered the idea of transitioning... I was bullied all the way for school for wearing long flowing skirts and makeup and things, and even now, all of my friends are women, and many of them lesbians. They often tell me I'm a lesbian in a man's body. But, while being attracted to women, I'm also jealous of them. I wish I looked like a woman, and could wear women's clothes without all the negative attention. I have often starved myself to try and maintain a feminine figure, but the whole anorexia conversation goes deeper than that, of course. I guess when I really look at it, I have not wanted to identify as trans largely because I have already been bullied so much, I can't take any more abuse. Also, being attracted to women, I know my chances of finding love are better (though still not good) if I continue to present as more or less male. I feel like none of the language either in cis-straight society or even in trans culture feels like a good fit for me, so I mostly avoid talking about it. I don't even really feel comfortable calling myself straight, but also not lesbian either, as I don't go around calling myself a trans woman. Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk. I don't know if others will relate.

[@robynrox]

I already knew the answer to this in my case as I have transitioned medically and had bottom surgery, and I am one of those cases of a rather masculine trans woman. I do enjoy feminine presentation sometimes but I mostly present in an androgynous way, and I continue to do a lot of the stuff that society considers masculine. I also don't really like people addressing me as male; it's the one thing that still pushes me to learn voice, and it's still possible that I will. I think I always knew somewhere that it was deeper than being a feminine man for me; ever since I learnt about trans women in my 20s it was always in the back of my mind. I'm long past accepting who I am, but it's still affirming to watch videos like these on the odd occasion!

[@ambientjohnny]

So in other words you are incapable of accepting who you actually are. If you are male, then nothing can change that. If you don't like others acknowledging your factual sex, then you aren't accepting yourself.

[@AW-sx8hm]

I don't believe I was ever really a feminine man. Aside from the long hair and relatively daring (well, just colourful) clothes that is. But I *was* a scared man, a stunted man, an unhappy man, a lonely man... And now I'm A wo man. 😂

[@OmnistEdwardbesterjr]

Iam a feminine gay man 😅

[@camb06]

This was quite an insightful exploration. However, I would like to add that there really isn’t a hard line between feminine man and trans woman. Though I myself am rather uncommon or an edge case, I have dissociated from my gender identity to a large degree. I don’t exactly feel uncomfortable in my gender, but have a desire to express more feminine, both physically and in dress, but not really embrace one gender over the other. I’m not uncomfortable being called a man, but I’m also loving the effects that estrogen has been having on my body and mind. Dressing more feminine is also quite euphoric for me, though I’m still experimenting and finding my look. I still consider myself a feminine man, and describe myself as transfem non-binary because that term seems to fit what I am, but I don’t consider myself a trans woman at all. Maybe I’m looking into the presentation too hard when it doesn’t apply to me directly, since the presentation didn’t explore the non-binary space as part of this distinction between femme man and trans woman (and to be clear, I’m not calling that out as a bad thing, either; not every discussion needs to cover every angle all the time).

[@JAMIEB22649]

Thanks I realized that a part of me is o k with being a guy but not completely

[@DRZPHD]

That’s great!!! We are more complex than simple binary stereotypes.

[@apocalypse12345]

@@JAMIEB22649 me too

[@JAMIEB22649]

@@DRZPHD While this may be true and that there was a part of me that was okay with being male at least enough when I was very young to think that I was a Sis boy.I also realized there's a part of me that I have been suppressing that enjoys being treated and seen like a female. Also more recently, as I've been exploring this part of me.The connection I have been filling with being Male has lessened over the last six months but it's still there.

[@DrayseSchneider]

Maybe I should have watched this first before commenting on the last video. 😅 But, mhm, yes. Was I trans or just a feminine guy was my big question to my therapist. I've also never understood culturally masculine and feminine roles as being gendered in any way, a lot of which I picked up from my dad. In some ways I wonder if my dad had a connection, albeit subdued, to his femininity, or if the older generation, my dad was a member of the silent generation and he fulfilled both masculine and feminine coded roles in a lot of areas. But I think that's where I got the idea that gender is irrelevant when there is a an important, even if small, task that needs to be done. Not that my dad wasn't quite sexist, but where he was progressive in his attitudes often surprised me. This post went completely in a direction I didn't originally intend. And now I'm sad that my dad never got to see the real me. I think I'll leave this post up unaltered.

[@TaraPersonal]

Transfemme tomboy-ish vibes girlie here 💜

[@expattyNZ]

10:14 you got me here 💃

[@expattyNZ]

14:50 and again here, i was neutral until I realised I really should be different. I never thought a pair of socks could turn my brain inside out. ♾️

[@jayaki]

Your wording and explanation of things is so incredible, thank you for this resource 🤍🤍🤍

[@DRZPHD]

Glad it was helpful!

[@apocalypse12345]

Im feminine gay man . But i find the label of trans is more in ligne with my experience . But i hope i will be just a feminne gay man not trans .

[@Monica-gj2yx]

I also know Straight men who are feminine.

[@EarsTails]

This video talked a lot about dysphoria, but not much about euphoria. What if I don't feel any particular aversion to my body (it's ok), but I've had moments where I felt my feminine energy was "seen" and accepted by others, and those moments were euphoric in a way unlike any other I've ever experienced? Like... so euphoric as to be physically disorienting. I want to be "seen" that way more often, but I don't mind the body I have.

[@Completely-Hatstand]

FTA Women like men come in all shapes, sizes and presentations so why limit ourselves to a particular esthetic. I grew up as a feminist and aspired to strong feminine role models that I saw on tv and in media, which is probably why I am a girly girl, hair, make up, nails, Harley riding Biker Lady. I also had a strong sense of who I was at an early age, telling my parents at 17 yo, now in my 50s. I never saw myself as a feminine boy, although that was how others perceived me to be, I have always been girl, now a grown woman. My body has had a few surgeries to align it with who I know myself to be and I live a contented life with my innate grace. Although times are tough for all in our community we owe it to ourselves to live authentic full lives. Strength without meanness. Hugs to all. ❤

[@Rozzia]

Dear Dr. Z, thank you for this topic. I have difficulty to distinguish if I'm really transgender or just too feminine. I still don't like my body hair at all. And I was imagining myself as woman from when I was small like 11. Any suggestions? I love to do make up and trying to do some courses and I mostly wear woman's clothes. Hard to say...

[@southwind73]

This is where I am. I married and my wife would be gone if I was trans, however tolerates me being more effeminate.

[@Giuliana-w1f]

i'd suggest trying a different name and pronouns, online or with people you can trust. if you like the new name and pronouns, you can expand it to more people and online communities, and if you don't, you can just go back

[@TheFlimsyman]

Ooooo I'm going to have to think carefully about this one! I honestly don't know to answer the question of whether I'm "comfortable" as a man. I would say that I am mostly comfortable, except in the company of people who ... care about gender a lot? Traditional, conservative people AND trans people seem bound and determined to read anything feminine about me as clear identification with womanhood. And I don't know if I agree about the "disconnect" between being generally satisfied with my male sex characteristics, and sometimes fantasizing about having female characteristics instead. I don't feel any conflict with indulging a fun fantasy, and also acknowledging reality?

[@LaFemmFatal]

I feel cis men also don’t feel a need to be categorized as a symbolically and legal feminine figure, meaning they don’t feel the need to be categorized and treated as a woman or female beyond perhaps sex role and presentation. But some feminine men like my boyfriend who identifies as mostly male he/they and was assigned male at birth isn’t that feminine he’s just balanced. He likes masculine clothes and roles. He has masculine hobbies. He’s just very creative and open. He doesn’t mind wearing feminine clothes and has tried it out in the past but doesn’t feel a need to feminize nor ever really imagined himself as female. Sexually he enjoys both feminine and masculine roles but is not autogynephilic and while he likes both just about equally he is more frequently dominant than submissive at least with me and has a very very slight feminine lean in partner preference but he really enjoys a whole spectrum. He’s also queer ( bi ). My boyfriend actually enjoys many stereotypically masculine hobbies and is comfortable in male spaces, he’s just not hypermasculine and enjoys feminity in himself as well. But my boyfriend reminds me of how some feminine straight cis men will act as well often switchy, creative, open, and emotionally intelligent, but still enjoy being the protector, and a coach, often times nerdy geeky and into animation xd. And sometimes wear a bit of makeup or polish. Might be alternative enjoy piercings etc. These men are not the same as fem boys, fem boys tend to have a strong feminine presentation, which is sometimes coupled with being submissive but many are not, they tend to love feminine expression, and sometimes sex roles as a preference. Edit: FYI my partner is a Demi man, he’s never stated but from what I gather he’s both comfortable as a man and as androgynous ( gender ). He enjoys being treated and seen as both non binary and as male, he enjoys occupying male spaces but he’s somewhat fluid however I think he can still be said to be a feminine man or Demi boy. I don’t think he’s necessarily uncomfortable as a man but I think he finds more comfort in being free and not restricted in his identity.

[@diogoduarte369]

I don't have gender dysphoria, so I never considered myself trans, but I'm kinda sensitive, I don't relate to several male-associated things like sports or cars. I have also daydreamed about having a women's body and probably wouldn't mind if I had one. Maybe I would make a good androgenous girl, who knows.

[@nikarayne-pk8jp]

Is there somewhere between feminine men and transgender? I am kinda comfortable with my assigned gender but don't want to present as a woman. I have always hated my body and would love curves. Right now I am thinking NB masc leaning but am I just deluding myself and it is just fear?

[@nikarayne-pk8jp]

Also wanted to say that I just love your content and how you explain things ❤😊

[@remidzian4321]

Wait, wait... so if I don't feel like I "AM" a woman, but have the desire to be a woman/ or to have been born as one, I am actually trans?

[@emanueledes7]

I will watch this video carefully, because it has been a very long time I've been wondering whether I am a feminine (bi) man, a nonbinary person or (less likely but who knows) a trans woman.

[@grinreaper2774]

I have more masculine hobbies and entrests but feel better dressing feminine. I have the desire to look feminine and a feminine body but I don't have a problem with my male genitals.. what would that be?

[@thomaskearney6385]

Omg! I had no idea this was a thing. I have always said I am a woman in a male body, and I love my male body, but I'm a woman! I code switched and acted masculine in order to stop the bullies, and I suppressed my femme for most of my life. When trans-gender people were banned from bathrooms at the capitol, and then hundreds of companies revoked their diversity hiring, I decided to wear hot, sexy non-binary, outfits when I shopped in anti-woke stores. I bought skin-tight, cobra print pants, a sexy see-through top, zipped all the down, exposing my very male chest, and rocked eye make-up, and massive jewelry, and heels, and went shopping. It was exhilarating! I went home and walked my cute chihuahua around the neighborhood, with my outfit on, and, again, exhilarating! Then ,I put together another sexy outfit, with a black fur collar, and fabulous shoes and make-up,and went to see the movie "Wicked" , in a crowded theater, on my boyfriend's arm. I felt so right. The other day, I needed to run an errand after work, But I didn't feel comfortable going out in public unless i'm unless I went home first and changed it to my fabulous femme clothes. I have never felt so empowered in my life. Thank you so much for helping me on the next step of my journey, Knowing that I am a trans-feminine. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[@johannandelstadh3240]

I love wearing girly cardigans as often as I can ❤

[@ObservantPiratePlus]

This video has helped me realize that I would call myself a feminine man. However, in my past, I have greatly enjoyed erotic cross-dressing as a "t-girl" to explore my bi-side, and so although I've enjoyed simulating a feminine appearance for bedroom fun at times, and I've wondered what it would be like to have a female body IRL, I do not feel that I am transgender, but wish that there was the existence of the ability to change back and forth from being a man to a woman and back again. I enjoy being in a masculine mental space, but also a feminine one at other times. I guess I'm kind of a shape-shifting mutant of sorts. LOL

[@HansLemurson]

I never thought of myself as a feminine man. I shied away from most things girly. But I kept wondering and daydreaming about what it would like to have a woman's body and everything good and bad that went along with that. I think I would have been a tomboy had I been born a girl.

[@TwinFalls88]

Those aren't the only 2 options right ? Many, many do not fall into either category. Maybe categories themselves are actually un-useful ? Think of all the non-binary and pansexual people out there who prefer no label at all. these are the "nones". Individuality > Identity

[@DRZPHD]

Hi, no not at all! This is solely for people who are wondering if they are either a feminine man or a trans woman (especially leaning to ward a binary woman identity). I completly agree with you on all other identieis and yes, indivduality is far greater than labels!

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

Neither was really an option for me. That might be why it took me so long to come out.

[@TwinFalls88]

@@DRZPHD Lol. you're right. it's okay to have things tailored for certain groups sometimes. knee jerk reactions and being overly sensitive needs to be worked on - on my part lmao. But you're right :-)

[@remidzian4321]

But can't it be that I am not fem man nor trans woman, but just a non-binary person that wants to embody more feminine traits (both physically and socially)?

[@jonnaking3054]

I usually explain it has basically fem men still live their lives and navigate through the world as MEN. And not all trans women are socially feminine, butch trans women also exist

[@DRZPHD]

Absolutley, not all trans women lean toward feminine expression or presentation, and in no way it negates their identity.

[@portersmith1876]

Dr, Z my question to you is as follwos. I know that I'm cis-man who know that he's not a neither a trans gendered female however, I think that I may be feminine man as I do like to engage in feminine activities like washing cloths or wearing earthy tones such as reds,browns and deeper yellows. I also desire to either initiate a long-term or romantic relationship with a trans-female of any socioeconomic or racial background. I also desire not to be stereotyped as a trans chaser because i know that I seek either a long-term relationship either romantic or not with a trans women.

[@Jacob-kx8go]

I'm a feminine trans man :)

[@morgan_drui]

I'm awesome ✨

[@squish7073]

Your look 😍

[@p.tibbs0545]

Ive had a complicated relatinship with my gender since i was a young child and introduced socially into the concept in kindergarten. Before that i had somewhat long hair for a guy, and didnt think abt gender at all. It wasnt until i got my hair buzzed off and outcasted away by the girls for "being a boy with cuties" that i started feeling off and sad. Years and years id asked to grow my hair out but eventually stopped, knowing it "wasnt acceptable." I was diagnosed with autism at 11, and for some reason after that diagnoses and knowing "why" i was socially outcasted, i figured that wanting to be a girl was just an autistic trait as well. I also hoped to one day grow out of this. Adults obviouly know who they are so i will too. Im 19 now and still figuring it out. I dont nessassarily want to be trans. Thats a hard life. Id much rather be a feminine man. Im just concerned that might be my temperary cope.

[@Giuliana-w1f]

if you could just be a girl by pressing a button, with everyone remembering you as always having been a girl, would you press it?

[@p.tibbs0545]

@Giuliana-w1f most of me wants to say yes. Periods would suck tho

[@DanMorgan-bh5fv]

I've learned I'm more just on the feminine side and prefer more masculine women. Growing up through puberty was a nightmare and other factors. I've come to accept that I'm a submissive male and I know I have a 0.001% in dating a Dominant woman for a long term relationship. I've at least come to terms with my own reality and it's incredibly difficult coming into Christianity and connecting with fellow brothers in that arena. I'm at peace with myself finally and just live a chaste/celibate life and enjoying this new journey also sober and healed from many past wounds. Life is good, just if Jesus wants to add more spice in my life He knows whom I'm attracted too lol.

[@ryancraig8258]

I would think about being a mother and the whole process of that motherhood wanting kids and having a family and partner coming home from work. Stereotypical american dream. Also, I have been struggling with self-hatred and feeling shame, dressing up, and feeling good dressed as a woman. Ive come out as trans now still have dysphoria and doubt sometimes but i am happier and know now who i am.

[@remidzian4321]

This video just started to crumble my semi-stable state of identifying as non-binary and accepting that I will have some disphoria and that I am sad I haven't been born as woman but that's what it is... And now I don't know who I am and what to do and I see that I might be transfemminine non-binary person?

[@valantinaluv]

Thank you @Dr. Z for the video I am a Non Binary and i like and love to be feminine and I even try to crossdress sometimes and I totally comfortable with it. I just want to know whether is it ok being a Non binary and feminine crossdressing?? And I also sometimes I also think of transitioning to trans woman with which I am totally comfortable with. Please help me I am curious and very much interested with the replies and please mind me if my comment is not related to the video.

[@user-xy4ff5yp7b]

Being a gay man is hard. It’s difficult for me to find guys I am sexually compatible with. I enjoy crossdressing and the straight and bisexual men it attracts and at times feel jealous of transgender women when I see them in relationships with straight men. But I’m not dysphoric regarding my body and I don’t have any desire to take on that role outside of sex and relationships.

[@PyramidTom]

I think I am a feminine men. I am cis but I have a disconfort about my body because I look too soft, narrow and almost feminine (or androgynous), I never imagined myself as women, but I wished I look more manly so the feminine fashion can act as contrast. I would feel uncofortable if people thought I was a women. If I lived in a open mind city I think I would dress more GNC, because I dont feel conected to tradional masculinity neither.

[@jamiek8123]

well then, this lady just said --paraphrasing-- "a feminine man will be more likely to wear: pinks, reds, yellows, and greens" and other then the reds, cause like red is very common in masc things, those are all my favorite colors, and yeah I'm a fem guy, like I get my favorite colors are a bit predictable for a fem guy, just didn't think it was that predictable lol

[@hw6271]

Is regressive

[@crystalr7602]

Dr. Z, I came up with a word to describe myself a few years back and what you're talking about here has some similarity to my thoughts. I consider myself as fem-male or femmale. I have those daydreams and thoughts of being totally female - i.e. I've always wanted to feel life inside of me - be pregnant and to be a Mother and to have the physiology of a female - breasts especially, vagina, etc. So, I guess I'm more transgender woman according to what you are saying on this video. I have days where I want to be totally feminine, but I know I never will be. Not fully anyway. I'm fairly happy with how passable I make myself, but I'm always wishing it was more permanent. I am comfortable as my male self - what choice is there really? I am keeping my fem side very suppressed though and it get a bit harder every day. Thanx for explaining some things here. Kinda helped. Thank you so much.

[@themarychulive]

those are the same thing

[@britneyallison6850]

Oh no that means I am still in the trans category. I keep looking for ways to beat it and end up losing yet again.

[@Reinaohi]

Is there a difference here between binary trans woman and non binary transfem? If you say both have desires to have the female physique or body. I do have desires of having a female body and I generally neutral about being a man or my body. There are pros and cons of being a man or woman so I mean it's hard to differentiate whether I'm just a man with a fetish, feminine man, trans (binary/non binary)

[@BlahajGoesNom]

It's not a fetish, stating transgender as a fetish is inappropriate and spreads more stigma

[@Giuliana-w1f]

the "fetish" thing is transphobic pseudoscience. being your gender is not a sexual thing.

[@Loxhaz]

Could you talk about masc women vs trans masc?