Three Overlooked Clues You are a Trans Woman!

In this compassionate and insightful exploration, I unveil three nuanced, often overlooked pathways to understanding one's transgender identity, moving beyond external expectations and binary narratives to illuminate the subtle, profound inner experiences that whisper the truth of gender.
👉FREE! The Ultimate 4-Page Trans Femme Transition Checklist: drzphd.com/fre...
👉FREE! PDF Copy of My Book: drzphd.com/fre...
👉FREE "AM I TRANS?" Quiz: www.transformu...
----
👇Transform U With Dr. Z equips you with powerful tools to combat gender dysphoria, break the cycle of imposter syndrome, and crash transition fears👇
www.transformu...
⏤
----
🫶Follow Me for Daily Tips & Advice on How to Deal with Gender Dysphoria on Social Channels!
Instagram - / drz.phd
Facebook - / drzphdpractice
⏤
---
✔️Work with me: drzphd.com/gen...
✔️Learn More About Dr Z: drzphd.com
⏤
Subscribe to My Channel for a Weekly Dose of Informative & Supportive Information!
/ drzphd
Hello Friends! I'm Dr Z, and this is a channel where I help you break free from dysphoria!
I am a clinical psychologist specializing in the transgender field, working with adults only. For the past 18 years, my work has focused on Gender Dysphoria and the formation of gender identity. I provide online therapy for residents of California, New York, Texas, and Florida. My pronouns are she/her, and you can visit my website for more info at drzphd.com/abo...
👉NOTE: I work solely with adults, and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based on my experience working with adults only.
DISCLAIMER: Note that as a clinical psychologist, I created this channel to share information. Therefore, I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information and not to provide medical advice, and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information and understanding and to gain awareness.
#gender #genderdysphoria #transgender #nonbinary #genderidentity #gendertransition #gendertherapist #transhealth #transgenderwomen #transmann #enby #hormones #dysphoria #selfhelp #transformation

[@dianelane3396]

I had every single one of those signs. I battled it for decades and researched everything I could find on the subject. People have no comprehension of how it feels to look into a mirror and seeing a stranger staring back at them. It was so bad I never looked in the mirror even while shaving or brushing my teeth. My FFS was the greatest gift I gave myself! I wish I had these videos 20-30 years ago. You've answered so many of the nagging questions I had and helped me reflect on my transition. Thank you for everything you do! ❤

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

You are an inspiration keep being one. I am sending you all the positivity in the world today

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Diane I know that’s you on your profile because you look so stunning I’d wish that was you if not

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Being feminine is the best

[@teresabenz6969]

I second this. I have finally acknowledged these feelings. With the help of a counsellor, I hope 2025 is the year I figure some of this out.

[@honberg193]

I wish I hadn't had Blanchard hidden from me by TV/TS groups in the mid 80s. You come under the AGP umbrella term. Your sexual orientation got cross wires in development. Doesn't mean your choice was wrong, if you made an effort to fit in. Whilst I accept my dysphoria was different. Related to homosexuality, personality and social exclusion from those the condition made me see as my group. Like attracts like. This quacks channel needs shutting down. Its encouraging TVs to beleive they are really women.

[@PanhandleRunner]

This is a wonderful video that I wish I had been able to view 40 years ago! Dr. Z, you have such a wonderful way of destigmatizing the transgender experience. Reading other comments, I see there are so many others like me who literally battled their urges an desires to feminize for years. I hope that many younger people who are struggling with this part of who they are will be able to watch this video and see that they are not abnormal, not a pervert, not an anomaly, not psycho, but see that they were just born different. Thank you for all you do to help those of us have struggled and who are struggling.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

you are a goddess. you deserve lots of love and feminine items as gift. do you like stockings and leggings ? i do. i highly recommend you to try sheer pantyhose. i hear the sensual feeling on the skin. can't wait.

[@simonwhite6704]

Hi, Dr Z . This video is exactly how i felt for so many years i had these kind of thoughts and i would repress them of deny them and feel gulty or hate myself because i was not trying hard enough to be a proper man ..... well after 49 years i finally let myself explore these feelings and thoughts and realised i am a teans woman i aleays was but i did not grow up in a environment that i could be my true gender. This lead to alot of self hate . But now 1 year on from starting to accept my true gender identity i feel so much happier and with the help of a good therapist . This is the true me the me i aleays was and i thankfully have found my self . I only recently found your channel and i am very grateful for your content. Thank you for sharing yor knowledge . Deb 💙

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

I really enjoyed watching the video. It’s a good watch.

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

What girly thing do you want to try ? You sound so much like a woman with your words. I’m glad you are sticking with your true gender which is a woman

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

I really enjoyed watching this video

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

i'm happy ypu picked a feminine name like debby. how feminine do you get when you wear girl clothes deb ? do you want to have your nails painted too?

[@ossiprinzessin161]

Thanks a million for that video, Dr Z!!! Im a trans girl/woman who is still questioning her identity a lot. I think I have a problem with what most people will call imposter thoughts and that video helped me a lot to settle down a bit. My wish for femsle upper and lower parts started of as "autogynephilia" (although it really changed really quickly) and my interest for mtf crossdressing (femboy) originally was bc I considered myself a bi lad and wanted a way to appeal to men ig. Guess it really switched to the third sign. So I kinda got all the points :) Thx so much :3

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

you sound incredible. neverr stop being the best woman that you can be willl you like to be called female names like jasmine ?

[@katyasaintdove]

Thought like this everyday since I was an early teenager, when I first realised ‘trans’ was a thing, it’s exhausting not living as your true self fr Thank you for your videos!

[@Jen_Bean42]

I laughed and cried during your video, spent the best part of two years trying to convince myself the dressing was a fetish and not something more, only to then sit down and look at myself and past me in more detail and finally come to the conclusion "Oh ok, I'm actually a woman". I watch a great deal of your content and love it, thank you! :D

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

you are really awesome. thank for for adding to the number of women in the world, because we need more

[@AelaZenith]

I experienced one or all of these, ranging from subtle to painfully not-subtle, consistently, throughout my life. And yet I know for most my life I was able to compartmentalize it all into ignorance and self-doubt. I never met or saw a trans person or was exposed to their reality. I believed the lies I was taught… about transitioning…. about me... They were meant to protect and inform me. But life wasn’t easy without the truth. That’s why it is so important that sharing and communication take place💙

[@MajorSally69]

Everything you described in this video describes me, and what I’ve been going through with my crossdressing/drag adventure. Just two years ago, when I was being tested for autism, one of the questions was, “Do you often wish you were someone else?”, and that’s when everything just poured out of me, going back to my childhood. Back in the 90s, when the thoughts of crossdressing began taking shape, I went with a friend to a wig shop, and I remember telling them, “If I were a woman, I would be a different one every day”. I was in my 20s and scared to express myself then, I’m much more comfortable with it today. Thank you for all your videos.❤️

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

fantastic being feminine. its such an interesting read , i enjoyed reading it. you sound so sweet. glad you're embracing your femininity

[@lawrencemelanson7041]

I wish I had a therapist like you 15 years ago, instead of one who told me I was a narcissist. I've experienced all of those since I was 9. And I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror.

[@clara_cross]

I've been on HRT for more than a year now, and I just wanted to say that your videos helped me a lot in finally finding the confidence that I needed to go through with it. I wish so much that I'd had access to resources like this 20 years ago. So much of my life has been wasted, and I don't know that I'll ever have closure on that, but... you helped me a lot. I'd be lying if I said I was totally happy with what I see in the mirror, but I'm definitely a whole lot more comfortable with it now than I was before I started, and I'm slowly getting better all the time, and I know I still have a long way to go. I just wanted to say thank you. There were certainly other influences too, but you played a large role in it. So thank you.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

so gorgeous. keep being feminine everyday and keep rocking all female itsms you find

[@abigaelbouchard7897]

That's exactly why it takes me 50 years to come out as non-binary transfimine person. I had all the 3 subtle situations in my life starting at puberty age. It took so long to understand what I was experiencing. I'm very happy with my life since I started my transition in 2020. Now I'm the true me. I got SRS a year ago even if it was not my priority. I never regret it. My first act of feminization was hair removal on all my body. And still have to do on my face. 😭 Thanks Dr Z to bring this subject. I always like your videos. ❤

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

its so lovely. i'm impressed. look how beautifulyo sound. ive never seen anything like it. keep being feminine

[@kooshfrisbee3093]

These signs ring true for me, also. I think that I am identifying as non-binary: sometimes I feel male, sometimes female, and sometimes neither. Only recently have I been brave enough to really look inside myself and ask "Is it just about the clothing, the presentation, or is this something deeper?"

[@patrickdalton2424]

How does that work? Is it somedays you feel like you have a penis and other days you feel like you have a vagina and other days you feel like you have no genitals ??

[@bobbylee9727]

the greatest awareness in the past four/five years since discovering Dr. Z's videos is that it's OK to feel neither female nor male at times. All my life I have thought that I was 'undersexed' not thinking about sex as much as "the guys." I have always felt different: a little dab of masc...a little dab of femme...a little dab of 'aesexual' ...and I still don't know what to do...weird, huh?

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Your feelings aren’t silly. You should try skirts out more than usual. And leggings. You’re lucky to be a woman truly. Not everyone gets a chance to be one in this lifetime.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

there's no right way to be feminine. the only right way is being a woman

[@TheNomaer]

I watch your videos. I'm subscribed. I've cross dressed for over 25 years and have explored my feminine side and persona as well in the hope of being open and transparent about who I am and what I am feeling in my heart of hearts. I have a relationship with both my feminine and masculine side and I love both when they are operative in and of their own perspective. I am also very spiritually aware of myself as the observer of what I am experiencing. When one side is more sentient than the other, I embody it as best I can and allow it to play out as free and as far as it can in my own private space until it has satisfied itself. I think of my masculine and feminine sides as operating similar to my legs. I am not my left leg or my right, but each one is valid and loved when I am placing my weight on it. The side that is most sentient emerges and expresses itself and then subsides when my focus goes somewhere else. Each side is self-reinforcing when it is sentient in that it wants to be in control and build its own environment where it feels affirmed and validated. So, yeah that's when I affirm to myself that I'm trans. I'm also a vocalist and I've trained my voice for over 36 years and when that side is shining it shines as a male. When my feminine side cycles in it's usually a sexually driven need to experience those feminine attributes that I once disowned and projected on to the opposite sex. After a 70-body count in my role as a male, I began to open up to and embody those disowned traits out of curiosity and self-exploration. So, now they have become a part of me that is still integrating with my personhood. I accept that and grow with it as it happens on the daily. I think gender is a sexual narrative that is a part of the whole self, and it fluctuates according to our masculine or feminine signature polarity which can change with time as we take on more of our whole self which is naturally all genders and all orientations. We become more of what we want to experience and explore, based upon who we are now, where we've been and where we feel we want to go. So, will I transition? I don't know. Each time that I think I will and have decided it's right for me at this time in my life, my male side which has aligned and agreed to this idea ends up coming back with a new love for itself as a more centered and balanced male. I'm centered in that way when I don't take sides even as I am when I am standing on both legs. I love for both sides as they naturally ebb and flow each with their own autonomy each in their own timing. Just wanted to share a different perspective as one of your viewers on how things can be seen. Love your videos. I think you are a great service to those in this area of self-awareness and will continue to watch as I learn and grow. Thanks for posting. 😜😜😎😎❤❤

[@ardenruttan7027]

Thank you for putting out the information and perspectives that you do my delima is that there are things about the male side that I find it difficult if not impossible to abandon however I also cannot do without my fem side when I am out in fem mode it feels so right, natural, and just how I should be so I think that in some ways this is the most difficult way possible to go through life I am well into my senior years now but the thoughts and desires to fully transition is with me every single day on one hand I have experienced so much more than than the 98 plus percent who are not transgender however there still is this empty feeling of not feeling complete.

[@SpaceWitch144]

If you can satisfy some feeling and then drop what you do and be fine with it, that's seems like a game. Being trans isn't a game you can turn on or off. Other note is inner struggle should not be ignored, if it isn't fear.

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

You are an amazing person. That’s all I can say. You bring out the beauty of femininity with your words

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

you are very smart. thanks for this. i enjoyed the read.

[@TheNomaer]

@@allisonbaker-t5z Thank you as well for your kind words and for taking the time to reply. 😎😎

[@AngelicaVee]

Thank you Dr. Z! I've had these signs for most of my life, but I've also had a gender dysphoria. The dysphoria is like an elephant in the room, it's rather hard to ignore. But, if you take the dysphoria away, these signs are rather subtle and may be ignored/shooed away for a long time. Good for you for addressing them separately. I hope it helps those who have experienced them alone. And that it also guides those who may experience other subtle signs to start pulling on those threads 😊

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Well put. How are you doing in your femininity journey? Are you becoming yourself more everyday. ?

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Never stop being a woman

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

what do you think of stiletto heels? do you like it ? its the best heels for ladies

[@Frosty7575]

Well, unsurprisingly, I fit two out of three. Not sure why I keep watching videos like these and don't expect them to confirm what I already know.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

youre a princess then. i'm proud of you.

[@joanieDavids-gh3tt]

Hi Dr. Z. One persistent sign that stayed with me forever was wishing and longing to have pretty long nails with polish❤. From age 8 until now it has been a constant wish of mine. I used to buy cheap fake nails in a store and hide them in my room so I could wear them from time to time, usually at night time. When I went to a mall at the age of about 14 I would notice nail salons advertising long nails for $40. I entertained thoughts of going in and having nails applied❤. Fear was very much present, so I never did it. Watching The Price is Right models with their gorgeous nails always felt good, often I wished to be like them, not just nails but having a woman's body as well❤. Once I turned 17 I managed to find the courage to actually go to a nail salon and have a full set of UV gel nails done❤. It felt so wonderful to have beautiful nails, for an hour while the polish dried I just admired my pretty nails, even bought a gorgeous ring that looked so feminine on my hand❤

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

You are so gorgeous. You should not forget that with the right amount Of make up you’ll look so pretty. I’m proud of you. I do my own make up by the way. Nice to meet you

[@crystalvulpine2314]

What does any of that have to do with being a woman?

[@keirfarnum6811]

Wearing 2” long nails myself. I know the feeling. I can’t live without my claws even though I’m not full time.

[@liviatonolli6885]

me, a trans man, watching this: mh, interesting

[@MoonStone2626]

Wonderful stuff as always... One thing might be interesting to share. I came to realize I was trans last year, at the not so tender age of 66 ! I started doing therapy using a guide, a woman experienced in mushroom sessions. I was born a man. My purpose was to feel and discover sg about myself. Actually it was to learn to love myself better. I had no experience with mushrooms, drugs, I dont drink, barely smoked a few joints in my entire life. But a friend had amazing experiences doing a psychedelic session so I was intrigued. As soon as the mushroom took effect, I started to dance, dance with my arms, dance with the nice music my guide was playing. And I started to feel feminine. My dance was feminine to me. The session was like some new sort of ecstasy, very beautiful. I was connecting deeply when she was playing female songs. There were songs about the female lineage. I felt like a woman and it was so incredibly beautiful. It was incredibly touching. I left the sessions disturbed yet enchanted. I did quite a few sessions in other settings. Each time this happened. Between the sessions I remembered small signs from earlier periods where I had been experiencing things.... Like, maybe 6 years ago, playing with the face App which changed my gender to a woman's. And I longed to be one, yet promptly repressed the urge to do more. Or when I was young in my early 20s with long hair and an older woman addressed me as a woman, and I had liked it. At times some friend had said I was sensitive, and I had wanted to be somehow feminine. Several other things like that. Now it had become obvious. And I didn't need mushroom, these feelings stayed. In day to day life, it is, I feel like a woman. And I want that. And the feeling is so beautiful, so overwhelming, like a more beautiful, expressive, subtle me ! And the transition I m slowly beginning, is lovely, but extremely scary, facing ridicule, fears... Dr Z is so helpful ! Thank you !

[@EvaCher3465]

Interesting experience! I used psilocybin session in different context. I'm in my middle transition and developed at one point, social anxiety because I lost my understanding of how I actually look, passing or not, and what I should do with that. The session "restarted" my vision of myself and I could finally see a woman in the mirror. Since then, my anxiety dropped and my understanding of what I still want to do with my look become more specific. I think it also saved me from excessive FFS.

[@mongoharry7765]

I've always liked Carl Jung's writing. He related a story about a Native American chief who one day, suddenly, began wearing female clothing, engaging in feminine activities, and associating with his tribe's women. That story always resonated with me. I think it's appropriate to understand and experience the core of our Selves. That does not, in my mind, mean one is necessarily experiencing negative feelings about ones body. And unless that were to be the case, I would agree with what I've seen in other if Dr. Z's videos, that hormonal treatment and surgery wouldn't necessarily be indicated.

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

You really have a great way with words. I enjoyed reading your comments it’s magnificent not to mention I enjoyed the video. Please, I want you to be more feminine to today. Being feminine a day, keeps the skin glowing

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

The only true feeling is being feminine. I’m so happy you discovered your superpower.

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Keep being who you are because that’s who I am proud of and I know that’s who the world is proud of too

[@vido2744]

Dr Z, thank you for your videos. All of these feelings in me are very new and I still have no idea whether I am trans or not. I would be interested in a video touching on the following struggle in my mind: I feel like I realistically have to decide between staying an attractive man or transitioning into an unattractive woman. Being attractive as a man doesn't give me much happiness at all, but the accompanying romantic success gives comfort. I fear that choosing to embody a female physique and failing to feel the least bit attractive would destroy me emotionally, and it would also strip me of that comfort. Like choosing to either stay in a passionless albeit well-paid desk job or go fruitlessly chase a dream as a starving artist. We all want to be beautiful, and the idea of choosing to pursue a type of beauty that is both far more difficult for me to achieve AND so much more important to me is terrifying.

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

never forget to cherish being a woman. love feminine things more and watch your life change for better would you like to be called female name like yolanda ?

[@hanselmora644]

I have all the subtle signs and a lot more not very subtle. Since im 3 years old ive been crossdressing myself, i didnt knew why y wass doing it, but it felt more than fine. My family was against it, so i had to hide my feminitity all my life. I had so much trouble hidden it, that i had ended up developing a Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), where my female self got separeted from my male self. My male self was there to let me survive my circumstances from my family and external persons, while my female self was making her own life when i was alone. i didnt understood why i had a double life, but now i do. Im actually trans, and cause the difficulties of my life i had to made up a male identity to be able to life. Im 23 btw. Im still quite young, but i had to battle with a loooot of signs like this or even worse signs. (Also i had to deal with them alone.) Also i never stopped crossdressing, i even use prosthetics, i can even pass as a Cis woman. But i still would love to have a real womens body. (HRT)

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

You are going to look so beautiful as a woman. I wish I can see you right now and see what you’re wearing. You sound like a goddess

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Wow. Magnificent! Be a woman. Don’t stop being a woman. The more feminine you become the more freedom you feel

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

you're sweet. i can't wait to see the world full of women. i love how you sound. you sound so feminine i love it. would you like to be called female names like diana ?

[@WendyJKatt]

I had all these clues 🙃 it seems to be completely my profile.

[@christophervincent77]

I appreciate the content very much, but I also want to point out that your mic needs adjustment. It's running a bit hot which is causing some clipping and picking up room reverb. Thanks :)

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

right chris. i notice it too. she'll notice it too. its the software she uses. thank you for being feminine. would you like to be called feminine names like annabelle?

[@manny.u1958]

Hi Dr. I'M 66 now. I ben dressing as a woman since I was 13 then at 17 I start dressing 24/7 . I grew up whit my mother since 8 she just to take shopping whit her all ways by he side when she was looking at brass,pantys,stokings, make up so I lorn. I never had a father's imagine, then at 12 she left whit my grandmother who thought me how to cook, wash dishes, all women's chores, at 17 I start buying my on clothes ans makeup and got my own apartament, and from there till now, I'm not femenin but whit makeup I look like a woman all my neighbors call me Mrs and in stores they call me meam. Which I like pretty much since I was 25 I thought in having a sex reassigning operation. But do to the respect to my mother, I decline the idea. Now at 66 I regret, but I did had brest augmentation at 25, 36D and I just love How I look,and I feel more femening. Do you think my mother did make me what I'm now a trans, or I'm a crossdreser. Who love to feel, and act, like a woman.I even like to be call Lorena! inted of my real name. We'll cheers from Tijuana/ San Diego. Ho I'm a subscriber now.

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Never stop embracing your inner femininity. It’s who you truly are. Be blessed to be a woman. I can give you some of my female stuffs if you wanT

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

I hope you dress more now. Have you wore matching outfits with another woman before ?

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

that sounds so exciting to read. i enjoyed reading it. yo deserve the best feminine clothes in the world. never stop being as feminine as you can. would you like feminine name like alicia ?

[@crystalr7602]

OMG OMG OMG....I've been watching your videos for a while now because I have this feeling I like being feminine. Not gay, but when I'm in my fem mode, I feel very good in general and consider myself totally feminine with attraction to men. Listening to your posts, it's like you're picking my life apart with your explanations and I can't stop feeling it. I do wish I had breasts, a more feminine body and I have more women's clothes than I do men's clothes. I am having a hard time dealing with it. I had 2 brothers who were also my sisters. It's really odd. I no longer have a support group - they either passed away or moved away. Sometimes I feel so alone. It worries me.....

[@jwenting]

What I did was cut out that male mode as much as possible in one fell swoop. I took some garbage bags and got rid of all those suits, ties, shirts, and jeans and slacks, after I'd cut off my moustache a few days earlier. But I know I was privileged in a way, I had the funds to replace my entire wardrobe in one go, and not have to buy one or two pieces every few months. The only things I kept was the outfit I wore at my parents' funerals. Couldn't (and still can't) deal with that going into an incinerator or landfill (let alone someone else wearing it) but it's sitting in a bag at the bottom back end of my closet, where it's been since the day of my dad's funeral almost 9 years ago. Doing that was a watershed. I have next to no support group either. Most transgender people here are too scared to be known as such so are afraid to come together even among ourselves. And the rest are the hardline trans activists who I have nothing in common with. It is indeed a lonely life, but I have some very supportive friends (most of whom sadly live far away, too far to ever meet up in person) and that helps.

[@allisonmcwaters-baker]

Thank you for inspiring people Around the world to be a woman today

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

never feel alone you are not alone. you deserve all the feminine items you can get. keep dressing up nice in lingerie and tights. would you like to be called feminine name like angelina ?

[@Slipperylmao]

Strike!

[@chloeducasse]

i love your videos, wish i saw them 30 years ago. like a few people below, all 3. i tend to walk around as a male thinking i am fake now. the real me is the girl. its funny because understanding the female part is fairly easy, understanding guy things is difficult. as a guy (i hate being that term) i dress 'ok', as a girl, i have very good styling, go figure. luckily i am slim, i can depending on pose, have decent hips, so an hour glass figure. boobs, well, in my teens for a few years i started growing them, so now, even being slim, with a simple push up bra or halter bikini top, i have B's (lucky me !) so yes, can i get away with wearing a little 2 piece swim bikini, yup. but, it is terrifying thinking of the thought of being out there ! i have already hinted at a girl friend about my inner me, i think she gets it. i have known her for decades and she even told me she knew something was different about me years ago, just how easy going a "guy" i was. so THANK YOU THANK YOU for being our guiding light !! 2025 i am going to a therapist, just to let out decades of HELP. maybe tell my friend of many years, i think i can trust her.

[@jessicam.1267]

OK I'm just trying to understand this and just for reference here -I was born a woman. I've never questioned my gender or anything like that. So, if you are a transgender woman, it seems like there is an awful lot of emphasis on the clothing and a lot of emphasis on sexual stuff. Like the example that was given about wearing a silk robe and feeling the fabric, etc. So I can't speak for all women but I can't remember a time where really put much thought into how soft my clothes are or I hear a lot about the feeling of lace or panty hose and how this is arousing for some people. As someone who was born a woman I can't relate at all to wearing lingerie or something sexy, on my own, without my partner, and feeling super aroused by that. Sure, I guess it's fun to wear something cute or getting dressed up to go out somewhere and maybe I'm just speaking for myself or something. What's confusing to me is all these things I'm frequently hearing trans women say they do. Then I hear trans women say that they sincerely feel like they were supposed to be born a woman and they feel just like a woman does. Yet... I don't think a lot of naturally born women are so into the outfits and Again I am really sorry if I've said anything offensive I'm not trying to put anyone down at all. I'm just trying to understand the feelings that trans women have and where all that comes from. I do think that everyone should be who they are and I feel like I have a lot to learn about all this but it's hard for me because I see a lot of mtf trans people who seem just so over the top and I have no guesses as to what the sex stuff is about but the clothing of course they're trying to be gender affirming but it just seems so much like this is a males idea of what a woman is... Does that make sense? It's just my observation I hope that didn't come out wrong...

[@Mik3l24]

My guess is that it's from being under the influence of testosterone before HRT, as I've heard that the sex hormones do have a bit of a different influence on one's sexuality.

[@Nienna_Asyare]

That makes sense to me - or at least I think it does. And I don’t have all the answers or knowledge on the topic, but I think it’s due to society and how people were raised/socialized. Some (but not all) trans women grew up being raised as masculine and may have went many more years into their life still pretending to be masculine - maybe even subconsciously - and that is their frame of reference in all that. Meanwhile some (but not all) cis women were most likely raised femininely so they’ve had their entire lives to adjust and learn things whereas it’s all brand new to our hypothetical trans woman. It’s kinda like cis women have had a drop of watermelon smoothie a day & trans women have the whole cup presented to them after only having water. At least I think that’s a good analogy for what I’m saying lol As for the arousal part, I’m pretty sure that’s from when most trans women’s brains get a burst of euphoria and the body doesn’t know how to react, so it goes to what it thinks it should be doing. These events go down over time and are not constant from what I’ve learned. Hopefully this makes sense & helps!

[@zen_tewmbs]

I understand where you’re coming from, and I want to offer some support in helping you to get understanding, using the puzzle pieces you already have in your hands. You talk about you’re confused about how trans women put an "awful lot of emphasis on the clothing and a lot of emphasis on sexual stuff" compared with your experience as a cis woman. That you "don't think a lot of [cis] women are so into the outfits". That makes sense! Seeing what seems to be a difference in what they feel is quite confusing when you are told those feelings are supposed to be basically the same. And you have the answer right in what you said: "I guess it's fun to wear something cute or getting dressed up to go out somewhere". That feeling is exactly what trans women are experiencing. The positive feelings we both describe relating to wearing or figuring out a cute outfit are normal for us and other women like us. Maybe we make a post online about the fit we put together or how we feel cute/hot. But no big deal for us. But for many trans women, especially those early in their transition, they feel those things for the first time! Now imagine you were told by others, by your parents, by society, even by yourself that those cute outfits are not for you. For years and decades, you believed that. And now, in front of your eyes, you see proof that it IS for you. That it IS okay. Wouldn't you be feeling good about that too, in addition to feeling good about finding a cute outfit? Eventually it won't be a big deal, but there's a time in your life where it is. Whether they're trans or cis, women generally feel the same sorts of things. With flavorings based on different circumstances. Is what I’m saying sounding crazy to you? If so, let me know what I’m missing.

[@sophiatrocentraisin]

That's actually a pretty good question. In my eyes, there are two things: - When you've spent your whole life longing for womanhood, even when you didn't know about it, when you unkowingly feel trapped in the performance of maleness (and clothes have a way to go trap you in a very physical way, since you can always see them in the corner of your eyes, and slightly feel them with your skin), the moment you get to perform womanhood, it feels extremely good. It's like if you love hugging but couldn't hug during all covid, and suddenly you can finally hug someone after so long. It feels really good. But, from experience, once you live full time with the right clothes for at least a full month, it's just clothes, they're fine, you just don't feel trapped anymore. - Hyper performativity of gender comes from several things. First of all, you're overcompensating to overcome dysphoria AND because you can finally experiment with the things you want. Then, you kind of have to overperform, because your passing is not yet on point, so you have to be over the top to signal very loudly your gender. And that's without taking into account the fact some therapists will heavilly question your gender if you don't try fit into traditionnal expressions of feminity (yes, that's a problem). Finally, when transitionning you're an adult learning how to perform your gender and experimenting with what feels right for you, so you will have to go through the same akward phase teenage girl go through, without the somewhat safe space (somewhat, because teenage girls are ruthless) of people expecting you to be embarassing for a few years

[@MoonStone2626]

@@zen_tewmbs yes, you put it so well ! As a trans woman I just wish I could express myself as a woman. Be feminine, Not especially super into clothes or makeup. Just be one!

[@tammyshields2361]

Being 6'3 doesn't help

[@activemanishere]

Just an fyi, people aren't allowed to give a different opinion on here. I made a comment with zero hate. I just didn't pander to what i believe is inappropriate behavior. Whether it was ai moderators or someone reported my comment and a moderator with an axe to grind restricted me, i lost all privileges to comment on any KZbin videos for 24 hours. How are we supposed to have real conversations if, without insults in it, my opinion is supressed. That's the problem with platforms like KZbin. If you make a video with controversial, left leaning topics, you will only get a soundboard in the comments. Any differing opinions will just get suppressed. How do we learn new things and find better ways to do stuff if we aren't allowed to have a conversation about it? We don't have to agree, that's OK. As long as we are respectful and don't insult, why can't we have a discussion? What do you think the chances are that i get censored again? There is no more insult in this comment then in my original comment. Just less of my opinion about behavior.

[@SpartanNinjaViking]

Don’t feel bad, I’m a literal communist and get categorized as a nazi, transphobe etc for extremely simple things. The left likes fighting everyone, especially the left. Im convinced it’s our favorite thing to do. And all these kids are fake socialist/communists who could not live without Starbucks and all the private business they indulge in in a regular basis, they like being loud and feeling as though they’re making a difference but are sometimes making it worse. So if my questions are super ignorant and “silly” I want to be told why. If someone has a super ignorant question about race and it’s a “racist question” then aren’t we doing an injustice to the world by not explaining to a person how they’re being racist without realizing?

[@allisonbaker-t5z]

never change.never stop being a woman. the people that mind, don't matter, the people that matter don't mind

[@MrFifty]

Censorship is not applicable here. Censorship is something that the government does, it does not apply to rule enforcement in private spaces. Freedom of speech does not give you the license to ignore the terms of service you agreed to when creating an account. KZbin allows creators to moderate their communities, and individual creators can choose to enforce whatever rules they want within their community. You are not entitled to say whatever you want in these comment sections. Some creators prefer to maintain a safe space for their trans and genderqueer audience to be themselves, because so much of the rest of the world is not a safe space for them. My guess is that your comment was less civil than you thought. As an aside, this is not a "controversial left wing topic". The best research we have, and all major medical organizations in the world recognize that the best way to care for the issues these people are suffering from is to allow them the chance to transition. You either don't understand that, or think you know better, but either way you need to educate yourself. Questioning trans people on a video like this is not an appropriate way to do that.

[@activemanishere]

@MrFifty first off, I never said anything about free speech. I said censorship. I also never claimed they weren't allowed to do it, just that it is bs that they don't allow healthy discussion. I never used any hate or disrespect. My argument is actually that i didn't break the terms of service i simply have an opinion that the platform doesn't agree with. Just so that you are aware, the research you claim says letting people transition is the only way to help them, a lot of the rest of the world is now disputing that research. The Cass report is the main one turning entire countries in the other direction. When you have multiple mental health condition, they are actually finding that treating them with therapy is far more affective then allowing them to transition. It's akin to affirming the multiple personalities of a schizophrenic person. It may appease them temporarily but it doesn't actually solve the underlying mental health conditions. They have found that often, people aren't trans at all, but looking for a way to be OK with their sexuality. That's just one example of many things that are important to treat before transition. Hopefully I was vague enough to avoid the censors but not too much to still be understood. If this does get through, it's no different then the comment that got censored. Again, I don't insult nor do I bring any hate. I just have a differing opinion that is actually backed by science and fact.

[@activemanishere]

@MrFifty censorship is just limiting the speech of someone. Any platform can censor. You don't have to be the government to censor. The government is just the only entity restricted by law from certain forms of censorship. That doesn't make it ethical for platforms like KZbin to censor. Just makes it legal. It's understood why things like insults and excessive foul language would be censored. But hate speech is used to censor simply differing opinions. This platform will remove comments in the name of hate speech, that weren't hate speech. Because the term hate speech is ambiguous and subjective. Sure they are within their rights to censor. It just isn't ethical to use a nuke when a sniper rifle would be better.

[@jessicam.1267]

OK I'm just trying to understand this and just for reference here -I was born a woman. I've never questioned my gender or anything like that. So, if you are a transgender woman, it seems like there is an awful lot of emphasis on the clothing and a lot of emphasis on sexual stuff. Like the example that was given about wearing a silk robe and feeling the fabric, etc. So I can't speak for all women but I can't remember a time where really put much thought into how soft my clothes are or I hear a lot about the feeling of lace or panty hose and how this is arousing for some people. As someone who was born a woman I can't relate at all to wearing lingerie or something sexy, on my own, without my partner, and feeling super aroused by that. Sure, I guess it's fun to wear something cute or getting dressed up to go out somewhere and maybe I'm just speaking for myself or something. What's confusing to me is all these things I'm frequently hearing trans women say they do. Then I hear trans women say that they sincerely feel like they were supposed to be born a woman and they feel just like a woman does. Yet... I don't think a lot of naturally born women are so into the outfits and Again I am really sorry if I've said anything offensive I'm not trying to put anyone down at all. I'm just trying to understand the feelings that trans women have and where all that comes from. I do think that everyone should be who they are and I feel like I have a lot to learn about all this but it's hard for me because I see a lot of mtf trans people who seem just so over the top and I have no guesses as to what the sex stuff is about but the clothing of course they're trying to be gender affirming but it just seems so much like this is a males idea of what a woman is... Does that make sense? It's just my observation I hope that didn't come out wrong...

[@Twigggggy]

not all trans woman experience this arousal. those that do might of had a ling period of their life where they were barred from wearing certain articles of clothing, so the new experience is so liberating and right that is can be sexually exciting for them, imagine your whole life living in a costume which effects how people see you and your gender, how people interact with you how they are attracted to you. when majority of your life is something that censors your whole identity you are numb and then you finally feel like yourself a lot of positive feelings arise, sometimes including arousal.

[@leandrahonegger3914]

I think a lot of trans women that come out later in life have an urge to "relive" their "stolen" past, or at least I think it's that way when I see a 50 year old trans woman in absolutely not complimentery clothes that hardly fits a 15 year old girl. You are not the only one wondering about some people. I do it sometimes whether they are trans or cis😉 However, I think everybody is different that way. I am a trans woman in my fifties and I don't care at all about sexy lingerie and stuff. I wear pants in the winter, skirts in the summertime because I think it fits me and sure I want to look female. And for the "I feel like a woman" thing, it's completely wrong. I never felt like a woman. I wanted to be female for the time I remember (so about 4 or 5 years old). So I had the desire to be a woman. And that's what I did, I transitioned and my life is much better than it had before. But honestly, some stuff that you describe and I sometimes witness myself belongs rather to a fetish club than on the street. Hey, live and let live, but I understand perfectly what you mean.

[@acash93]

In my opinion, trans women will never experience the hardship of biological women in terms of pregnancies, menstrual cycles, severe bullying among females in childhood. However, it is extremely ridiculed by the general public, by both genders, when a male wears female clothing, even if the male has been wearing female clothing since childhood. Even since childhood, I have been wearing nylon stockings. This was pre- puberty. It is like to sexual feelings but it is a sensual feeling that comes with wearing well fitting and well textured clothing. Most women take this feeling for granted. Most male garments are absolutely uncomfortable and boring.

[@acash93]

Personally, I explored homosexuality and crossdressed.then I looked at myself and thought how unattractive I looked. Only smooth hairless legs would be appropriate with the stockings. Only a beardless face, and hairless arm pits would complement hairless legs. I display the clues that are mentioned in this video. I don't know why I like feeling this way but I rather be a transgender than an ugly male.

[@HansLemurson]

You're not the first person to have noticed this. That's the sort of thing that's being referred to when the term "autogynephilia" (love of oneself as a woman) is used.