Exploring Your Gender Identity: 3 Key Mistakes to Avoid | Expert Advice!

[@umalguemai5628]

One thing I'd also say as a non-binary person who is 2 years into transition is: when you start to take the steps to get closer to yourself and self-doubt hits (be prepared for it, it will happen) try not to calm the anxiety by thinking of everything you have suffered to get to that point. It might work but it can trap you in a loophole where you fell like you could only be trans if you're unconfortable, and it's very hard to get out of it. Instead, try thinking about all of the way being trans has brought you joy, it might be harded in the begining but it's much better on the long run.

[@kartyl1wielki]

@JaneChristensen. Keep lying to yourself. No men will ever think you are a woman.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150-b9t]

My biggest obstacle was the ingrained assumption that dysphoria was required to be trans, which is part of the internalized transphobia that being trans is defined by suffering and struggle. I didn't know I even had dysphoria because I'd always been led to think it was just depression, or OCD, or body dysmorphia. It felt like I had to get permission from real trans people to accept myself as trans. Once I did though, I was able to look back on my life and realize the signs were there all along. My dysphoria is actually on the more serious end, but I never would have known if self-acceptance had not come first.

[@MsChristyCox]

I had such bad GD , estrogen saved my life ,took it all away. It was strange at first ,I had never knew what happiness was. I started progesterone on the first of the month. I would of never accomplished that without you Dr Z. Ty your a amazing human .

[@strykerpass600]

Me too!

[@MsChristyCox]

@@strykerpass600 congrats 🎉

[@Shalanaya]

The same, it seems like no amount of waiting and contemplating whether to transition can help to reveal our most optimal state until we take those small steps and see what it does to our body, and for some reason HRT brings clarity. It is like hormones need to exist in the right chemical bath, and our bodies are different, and some hormones can create a better balance for the body and mind. If bodies can spontaneously morph, then there is no reason to think that brain chemistry can't morph as well. In fact, less so, since we already know that brain chemistries do alter and can be improved with medication. ADHD, Bipolar, depression, anxiety, and so on. And, since hormones are chemicals, they too can eleviate cognitive imbalances. More specifically, we can think of brains as organs that function best in the right chemical bath... for them specifically. Meaning each brain requires its own specific chemical signature. Thus, an outward appearing "male" might have a brain chemistry that requires more estrogen to reach its optimum state, and would by contrast be sluggish and even counter productive if given testosterone. Likewise, testosterone for some "female" appearing individuals might induce clarity and focus, that the naturally produced estrogen does not provide. I understand that some transgender people who do not require or support medical transition may find this an inconvenient and hard truth. While there is a social component to gender (particularly in the enforcement of gender roles), it is by no means the only or even the primary element in an individuals lived gender.

[@N0-MAAM24]

I have adhd and depression and anxiety. I can’t take anti depressants, very bad side effects. I want to do hrt but I am scared it will throw me into a chemical depression. Did you feel off or have any adverse side affects from hrt?

[@MsChristyCox]

@@N0-MAAM24 I felt happy for the first time in my life. Side effects from the other stuff but the estrogen was a life saver. Just try it. It helps.☺️

[@ohryan9872]

I feel that My dysphoria comes from masculinity. I feel no connection to my masculinity in fact I find it toxic. I see men out there acting all macho and everything like that and it's just turns me off and then I looked at myself and see my masculine features and it makes me depressed and I think to myself I wish I was a woman

[@Kinosec-10]

I hope you don’t feel the need to shoulder all the blame for your gender. We need men like you to help make a difference in this world and show guys that acting or dressing feminine does not make you less of a man- be proud of yourself that you are not toxic!Transition will not make you female and if you are heterosexual and trying to date, lesbians will not give you a warm welcome.

[@DerrickJolicoeur]

I have a really hard time identifing concrete sources of my desire to transition. It feels like thousands of little things over my life. I even often struggle to identify my dysphoria. Yet everything about transition feels so right to my core. I didn't hate my body before, but I never loved it. And there was never anything I could do to improve it. I had the right body type, but the wrong body shape for my brain.

[@HansLemurson]

Not having a clear plan or goal has been my biggest problem. Some of the hormone changes were coming much faster than expected (bud growth), and I got scared, realizing I hadn't even worked out my clothing plan yet.

[@boomdelted]

Baby steps are the best way to approach most situations.❤

[@KIRYUCO69]

2:21 #1 where YOUR gd is coming from? 8:27 #2 how do you experience YOUR gd? 15:53 #3 what do you want to do with YOUR gd?

[@jentzi23]

My dysphoria is really mostly social (I suspect that is due to a disconnect with the body), so exercise for me has to happen somewhere isolated during a time when no one else is around. My coping mechanism right now is writing. I tend to analyze and pay attention to what my brain tries to tell me, and writing helps bc it externalises what is going on mentally.

[@josephbelisle5792]

Every time i think about transitioning, its like Im in the dark and the dawn is transitioning. My mind keeps saying happiness is transitioning. Just the few minor steps ive done, has been great and promises better in the future. I never knew how distressed and dark I have been by my being male. I known8ts a long hard process, but my mind wants it now. It wants to be happy now. Which causes stress.

[@belentom1]

I’m dealing with this in my 50s now. I know I’ve been questioning most of my life. I started low dose IM HRT 6 months ago and I feel so much better since. Coming out at work is proving to be the biggest challenge. My goal is not to pass 100% but for people to just know I’m trans. I did come out to some of my staff when I left my last place of employment, and they were so supportive. I figured that I had nothing to lose. Finding the root cause is something I’m working to figure out. I appreciate your insight and content, it’s been such a blessing for me. ❤️ thank you DR Z

[@marti7343]

My root cause is I always wanted to be a girl. Once I started to explore my gender because of that desire, the identity emerged. I keep coming back to Dr. Z's video about the question to ask yourself to help you determine if you are MtoF trans. Do you want to be a woman or do you want to feel like a woman? I believe if you want to be a woman and start transitioning in whatever way, you will feel like a woman if you do not already do. Can someone identify as a woman and not want to be one? I will let Dr. Z answer that question. In my opinion, if you identify as a woman and do not want to be one, it is something to work on. We all need to be ourselves and come to terms with how we identify to be happy. Dr. Z, in your latest videos you focus a lot on identity. What about desire? What about the question, do you want to be a woman or feel like one? Is it really just about identity? Is identity something that can develop from desire? I would love for you to elaborate on these ideas. It would help me. Where does my desire come from? I have looked at my past back to my childhood and there are so many ways to explain why I am trans. The truth is I never really can know for sure. I had the desire for as long as I can remember. I did not have the identity until I started to explore. Then, the dysphoria emerged. I would like to think I was not permitted to have the identity. All I know for sure is transitioning has helped me become a happy person. Mistake 1: Not understanding the root cause of your dysphoria Mistake 2: Not understanding the scope or your particular dysphoria. Mistake 3: Not having a plan (Personally, I think you can explore without a plan. Your exploration will help you settle on a plan. The plan may not even be solidified. For example, orchiectomy is part of my plan, but I have yet to find the courage to take that step. Also, FFS is a consideration, but I feel I must wait to see the basic impact of other steps. And, even then, there are so many issues associated with FFS. I would like GRS to be part of my plan, but given my age I struggle with how practical that is. My plan started as opaque images of possible steps. As time passes, these images crystallize into clear goals.)

[@dochics1053]

I been a transgender male to female all my life my mom gave me female hormones in my brain by taking medication for morning sickness, I am happy 😊 being a female..😊 ❤

[@AB_RetroSynth]

I kind of fall somewhere in the middle of both of the SEX and GENDER spectrums. I think of my gender expression as tuning into my sex and gender on a radio dial finding that sweet spot where the station comes in clearly. I hate my facial and body hair, but I don't mind my genitals for some reason. Might have to do with estrogen dominance my entire life. I hate wearing men's clothing, so I wear masculine women's clothing and I feel just right. Took me a lifetime to find that sweet spot because I thought there was only a sex and gender binary. You have to find where you fit on both spectrums and fine tune your state of being. That's what worked for me.

[@commelesfemmes]

THANK YOU FOR CLARITY

[@arturopalomares6958]

This video gave me a lot of understanding, and clarity. You explain the concepts with precisión. Thank you!!

[@Josie-fi5up]

Thank you for your video. I started cross dressing 4 years ago and it has become more frequent as time goes by. I suffered trauma as a child and I've always punished myself, except when I dress. I'm now at a stage where I am thinking of hormones. I recently had to go for 4 weeks without dressing and I started experiencing sudden swells of emotion, and I would spontaneously start crying. I've never experienced that before. I'm looking for a therapist.

[@AspenSenaSenaAspen]

I don’t know how disforic I am I’ve been living my life this way since I was 14, I never grew up as a “man” i always felt like a woman but more importantly I saw myself as one. I never wanted to be a man and when I started going through puberty I hated every minute of it! I’m going to take my estrogen, I was so scared I was going to hell. I think a lot of people who detransition thought thed “become a man or woman” when it’s about living your truth. It’s not a costume and I will never be a cis woman, and I’m ok with that I want to just embody my mind with my body.

[@MsChristyCox]

Morning Dr Z ❤

[@bookworm5433]

Recently as in the last few years, I've been allowing myself much more freedom to express myself. Prior to that I was just kind of numb as a person. Now I have started to experience some dysphoria. I don't hide who or what I am if it comes up, but I don't openly offer that information. And, at work I prefer to protect my station by dressing more hemogenously, trying to just blend in. Be a fly on the wall so to speak. I'm scared of drawing attention and that they may find an excuse to fire me. But I love being girly. I hate dressing down for a job. But I only work a few days a week and it feels like a necessary evil. But, I really don't like how it feels. It's boring for one. I just don't think they would understand. Also I work in a very sort of corporate industrial kind of environment so, I don't think anyone really get's to be themselves on the clock. So I guess for now, I understand dysphoria 12 hours at a time😑

[@SonjaLovesSonja]

This video was really cool; it opened up many new things for me to think about!

[@SimonIris1364]

My biggest dysphoria has always come from my chest. I felt so guilty about it too because i know i have a nice chest, but my boobs have always made me uncomfortable. Even the word boobs makes me feel weird, like I have boobs, I have them, why do I have them? I'm not supposed to have them. I have yearbook pictures of me hunching my shoulders trying to minimize them. I finally have an appointment for surgery but j still question myself all the time about whether it's right or not. I want them gone so badly and I worry all the time about doing the wrong thing.

[@stasacab]

I seriously entertained the idea that it might be something else and I could not self-diagnose myself. I thought, perhaps I was schizophrenic. I was the quiet type, I was rather mathematical and not very social. I needed tests. This and transphobia destroyed my plans.

[@joannamills8693]

I saw two clinical psychiatrists discussing trauma as THE source for all gender confusion and sexuality. They gave no real data to support their position on the podcast. So I appreciate you going further in exploring this. I would like to add that so me of us represent the other side of the coin. We have experienced early onset gender identity dissonance and dysphoria consistently and intensely for decades but fight it or live in serious denial. Saying our minds could be making this up in mature transgender cases may feed that denial and be somewhat of a disservice. Each case is unique while many experience and align with many common experiences. I feel like moving in baby steps with a trained therapist can help discern where we fall under the tent. A question tho. I thought perhaps you did a video where you were more dismissive of the idea we could make this up in our mind. That video was very early in your video history.

[@LuciaC-gt8qh]

I have a question, I don't have any stress about my body, or at least not a lot. But Ive have health issues since birth and at an early age. I had to accept my body was different from other kids and I couldn't do what they do. I wonder if this acceptance could have an affect on me as to perhaps hide or mask any body distress? For me I have a deep deep desire to be female. If I let it all out I'll end up in tears, Especially as my health could potentially prevent me having a female body at some point. So I try to keep those thoughts deep inside. I do dysphoria, but it's stress because Im Not Like the women I see when I go out. Or even some character on TV or on a game can trigger it.

[@davina-mf4ep]

4:54 Hi there ive just come across your channel and i really need help with something im a mtf transwoman ive been on hormones for 2yrs now and everything was going well i was on tablets for 12months then went onto patches for another 12 and 2 weeks ago i switched to estrogen implants a few days ago i noticed i started to get an acne outbreak on my left side just above my jaw line i dont know if im having a reaction to the implant or not ive heard from other tgirls thats its normal while your body is adjusting to the new estrogen implant i just wondering if you could please give me some advice i feel like im at a loose end and im really struggling

[@stevedavenport2975]

I've been on TV seen for over 25 years an still feel confused an my will powers messed up

[@ChaggiLagi]

Why im this is on my page 😅 i don't have issue with my gender. STOP THIS YTB. Sorry for all ppl who struggle with shit this kind, much love for ya.

[@alexiswilletts2584]

Im really shocked to hear this. I havent seen one of your videos in a couple years. Are you now advocating for more gatekeeping on trans care? It certainly sounds like it.

[@PhilipHood-du1wk]

Try not doing it in the first place maybe.