Dumper Feelings When Dumpee Walks Away (Podcast 645)

If you're a dumpee and want to try to get your ex back after a breakup, then you will likely wonder about your dumper's feelings, if you were to walk away. Today's podcast will help if you're a dumpee.
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[@vincentbos]

'GET YOUR EX BACK' Advice & Support www.dateme.tips/

[@giloises]

Also, think of it like this, even if you don't get your ex back, but you walked away after the breakup, didn't cause a lot of drama and went into no contact, at the very least they will remember you as a person who had dignity and a backbone and they will not lose their respect for you. That at least increases the chances that in their mind the beautiful memories of the relationship you had prevail over the negative ones of the breakup. Wouldn't you at least want that then? That they remember you in a very good light. So leave the door open, but by all means move on with your life, and if they ever contact you, you can see if you would still want them back or not, but from a position of strength and not desperation. Now that's attractive. Keep your heads up and stay strong. Only time and your self-discipline can heal you.

[@coolpisces7346]

This describes exactly what I just went through. I got monkey-branched and just walked away without causing any issues whatsoever. I was close to her family and I didn't want my behavior to cause any division whatsoever. 8 months out, it was the right decision. Walking away with dignity speaks volumes about a person's character. It did, however, take me 52 years to learn this though.....;)

[@giloises]

@@coolpisces7346 I can imagine your pain, but I admire your inner strength. And if you are a pisces, that makes you a water sign and a highly sensitive person. Scorpio salutes you. It's this sensitivity that is our strength, but it's also a weakness when we go through rough times. It takes a lot of discipline to carry the intense pain with dignity and self-control. It's in those times that I wish I was a person with shallow feelings who could just run from disappointment A to disappointment B like a happy labrador pup. But I'll never be like that, so people like us have to develop character and inner strength to cope with these strong emotions. Keep on healing and may you find someone with stable hands to give your heart to. I feel you. Much love...

[@whyjustwhy2168]

Ty

[@baggergurl16]

I love what you just said and you bring up a very valid point. The last thing you want your ex to remember you is how you wouldn’t leave them alone after the break up and possibly turned all psycho after the break up. And what’s worse is if you act like this they will probably go back to their friends and say how glad they were they broke up with you. I’ve learned that we (as the dumpees) after a beak up the only thing that’s left for us to walk away with is our dignity.

[@Guitarmfig]

If she has lost attraction for you, goodbye, move on and have the mindset that there are a lot of awesome girls out there who are dying to be swept of their feet and have awesome times.

[@dontworry2113]

I miss my ex gf so bad 😢 It’s been more than 2 years but she contacts me every few months but I’m sticking to no contact. It hurts but I must move on

[@leratoseretsi5603]

This is absolutely true

[@tarabonner341]

Great content !

[@brendadean9291]

In my case I had kids so my ex was not able to wonder. They acted like little messengers going back and forth between his place and mine.

[@NabilxIqbal]

Don’t take them back

[@melena618]

Dumper here. I'd say it depends. I left him because of his unwillingness to spent time with me (we saw each other once a week at best, he was always traveling to see his friends or spending week-ends by himself without asking me to do things together) and his lack of communication (he would see my texts and ignore them for days or weeks for whatever reasons). He was keeping me at arm-length, and gave me all of this sh*tty behaviours despite me communicating my needs regularly. At first I suggested we remained friends because I secretly wanted him to change by himself but then he ghosted me, keeping my stuff at his place. It hurt at the beginning because he agreed to be friends at least. Now I just moved on, because I realized that I didn't want someone who is unable to respect other people.

[@johnathangreay987]

Id rather ghosted them. And leave them nothing but quotes. " ". That means whatever they want it to mean.

[@its_riyo93]

last sunday i went with some friends of mine to an event where I knew my ex would be there. My friends really wanted to go and I felt like that I shouldn’t hide myself just because she’ll be there aswell. Well it was stupid of me. I was 4 Full weeks into No Contact and I feel like I’m back to day 1. we didn’t talk, but she did see me and I could not stop myself looking at her across the room. Eventually she came up to me and greeted me, but it was not nice. She did not seem happy seeing me. We only exchanged a few words. I tried to keep it casual and let it be. I don’t know what to do. I accepted the breakup, I didn’t beg and pleaded and went full no contact for 4 weeks but I was impatient. I just hope that I didn’t ruin my chances entirely but I do feel like that I keep sending needy&clingy energy towards her. I wish that I could just let her go. I truly want to. No contact starts again and I’m back to day 1. I feel so defeated…

[@wishinkansai]

I feel for you. I am almost 2 months into No Contact and haven't heard anything from my ex (we were together for more than 5 years). Of course, my mental/emotional condition is way better than it was after those initial 1-2 weeks after she broke things off, but I still think about her every day. My advice is to stick to No Contact, and try and keep yourself busy with other people and doing other things. It does help somewhat. I have mixed feelings about whether I want her back or not, but from previous experience, as time passes by, I will lose more feelings for her and be able to fully move on with my life after another 6 months or so. If you want your ex back, this will probably be difficult, as she holds all the cards and all you can do is wait patiently to see if she later changes her mind/feelings about you. In the meantime, all you can do is focus on yourself and try to improve your "weak/unattractive" points. If you decide that you are ok with losing her as it may be for the better, you should also be open to meeting other women and who knows, you might end up finding someone better suited for you than your ex. Hang in there!!😄

[@themanman165]

In my particular situation, we broke up after an argument when we were in France and I said something to her I shouldn’t of said! So at first I told her I didn’t want to break up and I walked away for a couple weeks and then my insecurities got to me and I reached out to her, she wasn’t extremely cold matter fact she’s not even telling me she wants to break up she said she’s not sure if she wants to break up she’s thinking about it! So I apologize to her I told her I’m sorry I’m doing this I’m doing that to change myself anger management classes reading books blah blah blah and she’s like I miss you but right now it’s not enough I am not saying it’s over I am still considering the relationship but I wanna make sure that you can control your anger before I get back into it! So now I am going full no contact, last time we spoke was Sunday and she said she missed me but she’s not reaching out and she’s not really holding a conversation so I have to move on and I told her that

[@Mari-lv1rd]

Well you apologized . Get flowers a day go over there. Get anger management class and ask her to go for Couples counseling. She sounds like she has brains...good luck.

[@ApostleThe344]

How do they know if you walked away? 😆 🤣

[@sylviab.791]

I don't think I would take any ex back.

[@nicsuppo2874]

I got ghosted and blocked as my breakup after a healthy 2 year relationship which we lived together. I didn't go into NC I went around the block and reached out almost weekly wanting closure. I finally got ut and she said she still lives me but can't be with me. Do I still have a chance if I go NC and takin into concideration she moved back home to cali

[@ianmcnally8501]

Nic, she moved away? Hmnnn, she probably is moving on, maybe she has some avoidance issues and had difficulty with the relationship but is unable to communicate. Sounds like you should move on Nic, sorry to say that. I feel for you, you sound broken-hearted. You deserve better Nic!

[@m4a1JAY]

Yeah…it’s most likely over at that point.