E23: What are 5 Smokescreens the Unfaithful Use to Deflect?

[@ddburrows6419]

With tears in my eyes I watched this video. After 40 years of smokescreens and obfuscations, you are affirming what I am just figuring out. I am deeply appreciative of your work.

[@linaavgi3069]

#4 Negotiation My unfaithful husband still uses this 5 yrs into recovery. "From the Beginning" - you cant see what i said from the beginning - you cant see that i tried from the beginning - you wont except what i wrote from the beginning -you never heard what i said from the beginning - you cant see what i offered from the beginning - you cant see that i wasnt ANGRY from the beginning -empathic, working on it, etc.... 10 seconds or 10 mins of work from the beginning constitutes a 14 day tantrum, of anger or silent treatment! I used to cry, never again. Thank you for this education. We the betrayed are not crazy!

[@loracampbell5205]

This was incredibly insightful. You two bring such clarity to such a painful issues. Thank you.

[@relaystationtoo]

You 😊

[@fruity_mango6539]

We appreciate these podcasts so much! And you guys are always 🎯!! This is my unfaithful husband 💯, 6 months post Dday, and half-a$$ in his recovery efforts. It’s painful, exhausting and soooo crazy-making!😩

[@vincewilliams7572]

OMG I have said these things almost verbatim for almost a year. My husband because of s boundary reached out to Sam in his request for help he stated that I have mental illness issues talk about manipulation. I wish with all my heart he understood that I can no longer be manipulated in this way. Together for 40 years... and he truly believes that I will accept his excuses and not listen to my intuition

[@meaganvincent1316]

Yup it’s sickening

[@thebluebutterfly5177]

I am so sorry😢

[@kevinkennett7474]

My unfaithful wife reached out to Sam for help also. She completely manipulated the situation. She lied about her best friend encouraging her affair. I actually have the message from the AP, where he was asking my wife who this friend was(after receiving a FB friend request from the friend). So, not only did my wife talk to her about her AP, but told her his name and location, so she could send him a friend request. Totally disgusting that she manipulated people. .

[@brightpage1020]

Thank you! What a great idea for a show!

[@tblank0302]

Great video. Filled w some great nuggets!

[@Christopher416]

During an undiscovered limerent affair, what emotions does an unfaithful have with regards to their spouse and kids? Without outright confronting them, which would tear apart the family, what can the betrayed partner do?