Why are men refusing to get married?

[@lordhtalk]

As someone that has been in a relationship, i can say the peace of mind now is on the single side. Single men now are living longer no responsibility no worries.

[@wilhelminaarthur7700]

she is so intelligent and well-informed. This is fantastic. she made wonderful points

[@Advic77]

Too much oversabi is killing relationships. When 2 people with less experience marry, they are likely to go far. But when any man and woman is too experienced, there will always be over cautiousness because subconsciously, you believe your partner, is trying to get one over you.

[@igwechi]

I think this is one of those rarely balanced debate on contemporary gender politics. I think it’s worth watching. Well done 👍

[@deborahemmanuel2381]

Marriage is NOT a MUST!....let the man that have peace single, remain single....Let the man that finds peace married, marry. Society and Cultural expectations is causing increased incidences of domestic violence and fatal d3aths.

[@adewaletobi]

Wow, a podcast with Lolo and Ogbolor… the combo I didn’t know I needed. Well done, ma’am and sir 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@michelleg-p4v]

I thoroughly enjoyed the episode! Thank you so much for sharing your views on the topic Ogbolor and Lolo. Really learnt a lot especially from Ogbolor's perspective. Please do a part 2!! Ty.x

[@Yo_Kings]

Great job guys. More contents like this please 👍🏻

[@obrightmanemyotabor9358]

You guys are bomb...Very interesting discussion..

[@intelliquick2639]

Nah this guy broke it down best I. Dey watch from yankee n dis is everywhere the lady was being exactly wat we running from over talkin n not listening

[@Jade-qv3cy]

That’s what we women are running away from. When a man will see giving opinion as being talkative. Women want a man to give them room to express themselves and not shutting us down.

[@kingsleyoyiogu5460]

I hate alot of talking points in this conversation so much... Women want to change and "come into themselves", but wake up every day demanding that men remain the way they've always been

[@The_Cruise_Fam]

💯

[@olujuwonolawoyin3067]

God bless you. Her view point was so selfish and even reiterated the point of men not wanting to marry. They demand so much from men yet offer so little, they are now so condescending. The truth is for every action there is a reaction. They demand way more than women in the past and yet offer so little compared to the women in the past. I learnt as a man to do you and listen less to what women claim they want because it will backfire.

[@daprincehwc]

To Lolo, Some men are not getting married because they are losing out, The society we are in now encourages boss ladies which is nothing bad but the consequences are what is playing out, some women can not manage success and not be rude or listen to their husband, How many times have you heard any man saying what a woman can do a man can do it better? or for any successful man saying now I am making money I don't need any woman, but you can't say the same for some women making money, I will say women need to choose their battle wisely, Nothing is wrong in being a career woman if you can still manage your home, and if you can't stay away from marriage so things don't look bad for those who desire it. We all should first remind ourselves how God made marriage, each gender has its roles, Men are to provide, and women are to nurture, but the moment we reverse the original plan it all goes nosedive, it's a problem we created for ourselves and I am not sure if we have a way back except for few. and Please stop holding back on your thoughts, this is an adult audience and we all need to speak out so others don't fall victim.

[@FantasyAnimated-o5v]

Am guessing that you just want a woman who is below you, someone you control and suppress. So the man and woman can’t both be career oriented. The man’s fragile egos won’t allow them to breathe.😂

[@tosinadeoye9931]

My brother,in blessings the Lord shall bless you, your wisdom shall increase from day to day. Your head shall not lack oil. You just encapsulated everything about the modern world and the realities it brings.

[@TheMercifulDoctor]

Any man living with this woman, your name is "help me oh Lord". Sorry for you and rip

[@info-ma-tics]

when sex is too frequent after sometimes in a mrriages it will become boring. its good for sex to have excitiment in it. the excitment makes it fresh everytime you ppl comes to it. it also thenlack of the excitment that makes the ppl cheat. so sometimes its ok to go some days with out it. so that when you ppl come back to it. it becomes exciting. just my humble opinion.

[@DigitalMoney-v2w]

Nice one from both of you...Another wahalla for Sexual appetite dey come from individuals wey don watch porn tire not knowing say na just movies and most things dey see isnt real..and they need the man or woman do exactly what they see...Weldone guys

[@seunvictoria2580]

Winners Chapel was in Ipaja before relocating to Sango Otta and today even those from the Island want to associate with Bishop and his ministry. If you dont want a mainland man then you dont deserve a man with a growing vision that'll explode into something great in future. While I understand the points made in this video, I feel the mistake the host is making is not addressing the key issue: a man's character and content. Anyone can decide to reside on the mainland or the island or anywhere. Situations change and life is never static...nothing remains the same forever - a man's life can transform in a second. What a woman should be looking for is a responsible man that would do whatever it takes to fight for his future and for his family. I've met great men that were unbelievably living in a village before rising into prominence. Only a narrow mind focuses solely on the immediate state of things.

[@obongpsalm5935]

One of the major reasons why men are not getting married is financial stability. In Nigeria today you are constantly afraid of losing the little money you have. Financial security is far from guaranteed. And also women this days are just looking out for the next big boy, there are exceptions though, but plenty people will get married if they are financially secured.

[@memehdavid5514]

Who tell you that one what is the benefit of a man getting married simple questions has a man you will be traumatised being in a marriage, if you think is financial problems why are the rich dude just want a baby mama answer me

[@FantasyAnimated-o5v]

@@memehdavid5514well said, that’s because they can’t find a door mat wife 😂

[@memehdavid5514]

@@FantasyAnimated-o5v you think so we are not in an erra of do or die we can survive and enjoy our life's even without you people is high time you get that into your head men no long value woman is not like in the old if you be wife material you will still pray to see a man that whats to marry you if you like don't be nobody cares

[@emmaabumere2870]

The best way I believe one can have a successful marriage in this era is to "create a family but still be able to foster individualism" as it partains to duties and responsibilities of children, house maintenance, finances, s€×ual!ty, religion etc... You need to talk about each detail and find what is fair and acceptable by both parties. (Communication is key)

[@blankcanvas4609]

Great topic. Enjoyed it thoroughly

[@ayojacobs8284]

Great conversation! You bless us, thank you 🙏🏽

[@josephomole6404]

I'm a 30 year old engineer based in the US who makes a very good income even by US standards. I enjoy my life right now. My life is very sweet. I can travel anywhere, I can talk to any woman, anytime. I eat whatever I want. Now, the reason I'm not married is because I really don't see what a wife wants to do for me right now that I don't already have or do for myself

[@Jade-qv3cy]

That means your idea of marriage is different from what marriage is all about.

[@josephomole6404]

@Jade-qv3cy well, if someone could educate me, I'm open to changing my mindset.

[@May-xr1jl]

If you were not able to get sex without marriage, you would most likely plan on getting married. But to answer your question a good wife would help multiple the goodness in your life. If you have joy, she adds more joy, if it’s companionship, support, honest feedback she provides it. Basically a helpmate.

[@Jade-qv3cy]

@@May-xr1jl Yes, a prudent wife will support her husband to success but, not necessarily that the husband’s success is tagged on her. That is unnecessary pressure on women. If the man does not have the zeal, tools, or the will to be successful, there’s no help she will render that will be fruitful. Marriage is partnership; requires hard-work, understanding, accountability, patience, compromise, and most of all fear of God. If you treat a woman like a queen, she will treat you like a king…goes both ways. You also need to know if he or she has a quality of a king(leader) or a queen (virtuous /a nurturer). You can’t follow a blind man. He needs to have a vision. Not every man can lead. We also want to follow someone that has direction.

[@OUTOFNAIJA_009JA]

@@josephomole6404you are not like others who want to create family and have family of their own

[@michaeljegede-o8l]

You guys really make sense on your point of views.

[@godwinvalentine4510]

How many sense, the woman is particular about money. There are multi millionaire living in iyana paja and there are broke ass fake life living in lekki. People rise every day and people fall every day. Nothing the woman said make sense.

[@olalekanibrahim1264]

on the sex issue.... i think every problem has a solution... its not a big deal

[@adedayobankole3889]

Interesting to watch...Enjoyed

[@norrynehsuh324]

I love this podcast, love dt u guys are mature n listening to understand each other. I agree with all u hv said . So wat is deh way forward 😂.

[@SamuelArowosegbe-ns5bg]

I love this ❤❤❤more of this conversation, It add to my knowledge honestly.

[@Calistus-lx2ed]

Omo, self love is true love 💕

[@jenniferd.7646]

James and Adaku😂😂😂

[@theresesuirumarie2428]

You know it well ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@The_Cruise_Fam]

Please can one of you hosts respond to my question: is there a crime if a man doesn’t want to be married? Why are we hell bent on marriage marriage in our culture? And when you’ve refused to marry, then the society wants to think something else about your choice……. Such as: gay, lesbian etc they’ll label them that. Is it that in our culture one cannot genuinely not want to be married? We force it so much😊. Abeg, leave men alone. I’m a female just in case. These types of topics are overly discussed in our society & it’s becoming monotonous 🫤 We just really have a very aggressive toxic culture.

[@temiladealamudun5063]

Great conversation and much needed discussion in Nigeria 🇳🇬

[@nicolesingz4u]

Hello 👋 can you speak about interracial marriages or panafricain marriages, my question is to lolo, there’s a lot Nigerian used women from those I have mentioned for they gain.😮 just information not other African countries have the same culture like in Nigeria but when it come to money there is a lot of damages with of African cultures.

[@awaomoyoobatv]

Bring me on this show as far as this topic is concerned. I'm a single man but, I know better

[@Tchi-kaHenri-ev1hp]

How do I contact you to enlighten me on this, I will pay for the education. Thanks

[@info-ma-tics]

What of men who have helped women and they changed too.

[@mosesobute2481]

A great example is those who were sponsored through school, only to finish and suddenly realise the man is not their type. 😂💔

[@The_Cruise_Fam]

@@mosesobute2481While this idea goes both ways. My only problem is this……Why are men/women still doing this in this present time?! Let the man/woman’s dad worry about their child educations. We practice a lot of “I’m the savior mentality” in our community and it turns out to burn us. There’s nothing wrong in helping people, but that needs to be VERY clarified. Not that you’re helping to get something in return such as “marriage.” Another thing in our culture is that we cannot honestly handle it when a person is brutally blunt. As in he/she says things as it. Especially when it’s coming from a female. We never want to see a female very assertive. I just laugh when we constantly nag about “our culture this or that.” Truth is we’re very confused race.

[@info-ma-tics]

@@mosesobute2481 but the mans money was her spec

[@mosesobute2481]

@@The_Cruise_Fam Yea, I totally agree that there should be clear terms for these things and other things like business (especially when it involves relations). Don't assume that the other person understands anything. If possible, get married to the lady before she starts the school, lol. Then you know you're sponsoring your wife, because even if she knows the terms, her feelings can change afterwards 🤧. But then I don't think it's always a "saviour's mentality" thingy. It can also simply be, "I love you, you want to do your undergraduate studies before getting married, because I love you, let me sponsor you." Especially because he's the man and because y'all claim that the "man is the provider", so he's taken up that duty even before marriage. Finally I agree with your statement regarding the "our culture" thingy. Nigerians (or Africans) use the, "it's not our culture" card when it's something they don't agree with. And most times in a bid to support that point, they fall back to their religious values, forgetting that the major religions in Africa today are not actually African, lol. We are not ready actually. Have a good day!

[@realkvng]

​@@mosesobute2481happened to me legit! After 6 years striving so hard to make ends meet overseas, with All the sacrifices, She got married to another guy in July earlier this year. Her so-called "besttie' I always quarelled with her severally about. Life is just a mystery. Tell me who I wan believe or trust for that country? E hard ohhh

[@skjimoh2653]

Talk talk talk how many men can give a wife. Any woman or man looks for fault to choose a partner na your papa or mama you go marry. Even if u find a fault, look if it's something you can deal with or not. Then make up yr mind.

[@akandeeric1534]

The problem is that we have lots of less matured boys thinking they are man enough to get married... and the parents are not also helping because many parents want to do less in terms of taking up their responsibility so when the chid want to get married they will not tell them if they are matured enough to get married same as the ladies. from my own opinion

[@collinsakele756]

Men please don't be vulnerable to a woman. She'll use it against you

[@SocialHandles-bf4uv]

I am ready for a vulnerable man, tbh, but they are hard to find. Most men are really not ready for this marriage thing(physically, and mentally/psychologically) cos you one can tell when you engage them in conversations that they are genuinely not aware of the commitment and intentionality side of what marriage entails

[@HENRYJAYFILMS]

To me, selecting a partner can be illustrated by a scenario where an individual is going to the market to purchase a particular item, most times people already have their budget which signifies the capability of the individual then we then proceed to bargaining and that’s the talking stage. Sometimes the item might be overpriced or underpriced so it’s best to go with what you can afford. So basically we should learn to discuss the important things during talking stage so as to be sure of what we are going into because Everyone is entitled to have whatever they feel they deserve or need, it’s left to us to work with our budget and trust me you will definitely find ur own 💯

[@suncity1702]

To me I will say, too much of civilisation in negative areas, like too much of money, education, information, wise in negative areas, above all, we disowned our forefathers culture laws or rules and we embraced another people culture in which we don't know the beginning or sources of those cultures and behind scenes we don't know the bad side effects of the culture but right now we are facing two different problems, leaving our culture and trying to balance another people culture which is not our own. Unless we dropt the foreign culture and go back to our own and balance them, then peace could rain. ❤

[@Jade-qv3cy]

What is our forefathers culture? Please, explain what you mean. Funny how people want to drop androids and flow with the technology and use iPhones. Because things change and will not be like 40s. That wife slavery existed in the past and no woman wants to be treated like that all in the name of marrying African men.

[@Jade-qv3cy]

Please can you explain more about the culture you are talking about? What angle?

[@mctreasure]

​@@Jade-qv3cy I believe this is about ethnic marriage expectations(traditionally our culture) versus western world (romanticised version of it) marriage expectations. He has a point, many grew up in homes that the parents lived more of the traditional style marriages, the men tend to view this favourably, while women nowadays tend to view this terribly, so there's not much alignment, in terms of the western marriage view, women tend to want an idealistic marriage where the man is masculine but at the same time very compromising and caters to her, this is in itself a contradiction for example. So we are basically at an impasse of some sort, there needs to be some kind of common ground otherwise things will continue this way unfortunately

[@Jade-qv3cy]

@@mctreasure I get it….but, It’s too bad, we can’t and don’t want to go back to our forefather’s ways which wasn’t a representation of the bible. It was a control and oppressive system. They are the cause of the problem we have today not women. What woman will wants a husband with 10 wives n concubines? What woman wants a hitler as a husband? What woman this days wants a man that can’t show his emotions and be romantic? Those are our forefathers. What men should demand and be expecting from women now is to give them their due regard and respect as a husband n head of the house. To be a virtuous and modest woman. Women require accountability, loyalty, respect and, leadership from their partner. If you want to lead, you sure need to be a damn good leader in all ways. Whom your son will see and respect, your daughter will see and wish a man like her dad.

[@Jade-qv3cy]

@@mctreasure Regarding westerners tradition, unfortunately, the moment we started going to their country as residents, things will change including behaviour. How can we change this? Men should learn how to assist their wives. It’s not a big deal. Our forefathers were lazy. They want their wives to do everything. They will sit down on their asses and control. That’s not a leader, that’s a dictator. That’s what the Europeans did to us during slavery time and our men are oppressing the vulnerable/ wife/their children just to show they are a leader. A leader leads by example. If you want your daughter to see the good in men when she grows, you show her by loving your wife. If you want your son to respect a woman, you treat your wife with respect and he will emulate that. If all the boy see is hitting their mother, what do you think will happen in his future?

[@spyMan-m1b]

Once you tell women about your real state them go japa

[@victorm4689]

It seems like everyone these days has good mothers and bad fathers. I might be the only one left still in a healthy family.

[@casmirifeanyi7788]

I enjoyed this conversation. Its about time both sexes brought this subject to the table

[@Nahugodia]

Excuse me. It’s not by force now! Each to his own time fa. It’s not about issues.

[@olalekanibrahim1264]

is she saying mainland guys dont have money? habba

[@kaforsabinus3910]

That's disrespecting us pal We on the mainland are original we don't live make believe/fake life

[@Arcchino]

I’m very sure that story is incomplete.

[@olalekanibrahim1264]

i guesss its good for a male rich tailor to marry a poor tailor.. but a rich female tailor cant marry a poor male tailor... how do women even reason ?

[@awmy3109]

Peace of mind. As simple as that.

[@echooscar1914]

Marriage is not a MUST. Marriage should not be seen as an Avenue to attain relevance in society and among family members. If I had a second chance in life, I will not get married. Marriage emasculates men all in the name of being a loving husband.

[@olalekanibrahim1264]

not all women ooo.... some just no ready do anything all relying on the said man to make things happen..

[@iwelabibookson2894]

As a hardworking young man who minds his business and career, a lady still turned me down cos I don't have a Benz.. I won't say anything about the other rejections but most of them after realizing how bad their statements were, always come back to apologize. If you were me, would you date ladies like that?

[@TheresiaNchendia]

You went for women that other men has manufactured. Go to your level. Life has level and all good.i always tell my sons. Look for a girl who will see you as the best man not better.

[@Jay-de7pn]

Funny thing is after they finish manufacturing them, they throw them away and the women think those high men they want will always choose them...

[@iwelabibookson2894]

@@TheresiaNchendia people are always quick to say this comment. I wish I could show you the ladies. Matter of fact, none of them were an Instagram baddie. I'm talking of average working class ladies and not entitled ones that have been with yahoo boys

[@kz-xv1ou]

FYI Buying roses and chocolates does not mean men showing romance. It means more men are adopting western culture and western way of showing romance. It is important to make that distinction. Our fathers and forefathers have their own way of showing romance, it was individually specific and cultural. It is not one size fits all. This tendency to believe that western way of doing things is the only right way is sickening and ricks of minds that are not truly educated. An educated mind must be able to distinguish between what is true knowledge and what is the culture of the people from whom you learn or associate with.

[@auchvett6372]

This two think they're wiser than our grandparents, listen and take they advise at your own risk.

[@prinso4lurv]

Hypergamy is real ooooo

[@studiration4708]

Men are not getting married because women no longer want to get women, especially those between 18 to 25 years old. Marriage is what makes women happy, but society says women should go and get a career. Now it takes 5 to 10 to build a career, after they achieve it, marriage and children now become a burden, because the career is their baby and the job is their husband.

[@toyin2376]

You lost me at sidechicks

[@norrynehsuh324]

Some of that sex toy nah addiction

[@abdulsegs]

Marriage is pointless at this age

[@nathanj3665]

Never heard so much NONSENSE from two hosts. Men dont get married because they dont want to. And when they weigh their options coupled with whats involved they decide its not worth it

[@Luver4lyfe]

Just say you are overly simplistic and hate analysis! The discussion is meant for expounding on the REASONS WHY!!

[@MOSKONDO]

You need healing, all they said were their opinions. Nothing bad in this podcast episode

[@VivSees]

Because they’re usually secretly sleeping with other males. That’s the real reason and it’s a big secret.

[@nathanj3665]

@@Luver4lyfe WTF...your comment is DUMB..you think youre writing a thesis you clown....you clearly are insecure and suffer huge inferiority.