EFAP

[@malzo1701]

Watching 2 hours of RoP: ❌❌ Watching 8 hours of EFAP shittin on it: ✅✅

[@Tedscwa]

Basically 9 hours!

[@bigadam]

Same. I was excited for this season to come out just to listen to the breakdowns and criticism. Not to watch it though

[@petriew2018]

@@bigadam i was likewise looking forward to the reviews. Though i must admit even as someone who knew this show would be bad, even i'm shocked at just how nonsensically terrible it actually is. Like, how does a show this poorly written actually see the light of day? it makes absolutely no sense

[@Nicstewert]

This is how it works. 😏

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

Less brain cells lost. More fun to be had. Interest is increased. Sounds like a win win situation to me.

[@19Ledor]

Fun fact: There was originally an after credit scene for Return of the King where Waldreg puts on his Ring and says: "Fine I’ll do it myself, it’s Waldreging-Time.“

[@fantasywind3923]

It's amusing...in the first season Waldreg obviously really REALLY wanted to serve Sauron instead of Adar. Adar was just the next thing....I thought that maybe this will give chance for Sauron to actually make him his mole in Adar's organization so that later Adar is betrayed by Waldreg...nope....THEY WASTED THAT :).

[@heskymarky]

"Fun isn't something one considers when creating Mordor. But this... _chuckles_ ... does put a Wall on my Dreg..."

[@Jim-Tuner]

@2:03:48 - In the books, Sauron helped the elves forge a whole bunch of rings. Those rings were especially corrupted by Sauron because he was directly involved in creating them and they would corrupt whoever used them. The three elf rings were created last without Sauron's knowledge or assistance. So they were less corrupt. The three rings cannot corrupt the person using them, but if Sauron has the one ring, the thoughts of the wearers of the three rings become visible to Sauron. The show reverses the order of how the rings were created. Which creates a number of problems with the story.

[@romainf3780]

- The ring is literal perfection. - It will be...when it fits a woman

[@kregy7509]

I AM A WOMAAAAAN!!

[@RhysCallinan-hf7qx]

​@@kregy7509But is a woman a mammal, or an animal?

[@benalo13]

You have not bled like I bleed!

[@vespenegas261]

​@@RhysCallinan-hf7qx It's ma'am!

[@ZenoDovahkiin]

"What'cha bring me?" -Círdan to Elrond

[@JulianDoe]

Timestamps 0:00 Preamble 2:02 First impressions 17:38 Episode One: The Story Begins 19:23 Sauron & The Orcs 46:10 The Black Goo 1:03:26 Travelling & Meetings 1:38:09 The Chase 1:50:26 Meet The King 2:08:43 Life in Mordor 2:26:26 Notgandalf, Nothobbits & Skeletor 2:39:02 Back To Mordor 2:46:15 A New Wise Character 2:51:52 The Message 3:04:50 Corruption 3:14:10 Destroying The Rings 3:19:10 Get Back The Rings 3:26:32 The Wise Escape 3:30:00 Here’s Poppy! 3:39:00 The Boat of The Rings 3:43:24 The Sneaky Allbran 4:00:15 The Worst Scene 4:08:00 Dark Days 4:19:00 We Got The Rings Of Power 4:34:09 Shaky Hands, Shaky Writing 4:35:55 Episode One: Final Opinions 4:38:45 Episode Two: Khazad-dûm 5:10:15 Visions & Plans 5:46:17 Allbran at the gates of Eregion 6:01:21 Guess Who's Back? 6:19:32 The Notgandalf Trio 6:30:35 Back to Khazad-dûm 7:17:10 Elrond and the RIng 7:42:44 Notgandalf & The Team Rockett 7:50:10 Celembrimbor & The Umbrella 8:01:37 Behind The Scenes 8:05:45 Celebrimbor & AllBran 8:27:48 Elrond The Leader 8:29:50 The Message 8:30:20 Episode Two: Final Opinions 8:33:26 Closing

[@MohammedRyad-gs5rt]

Thanks man

[@lacolem1]

You’re a real one

[@newb2023]

You're a legend!

[@sparkypack]

2:32:33 Shishka... shishka... shishkaaaaabuggg!!!!!

[@poissonsumac7922]

Thanks, I needed to hear what they said about the umbrella again XD

[@beowulfsrevenge4369]

Spoiler alert. Waldreg isn't dead. That scream was the warg not Waldreg. Waldreg wasn't locked in with the warg. The warg was locked in with Waldreg.

[@Nokaret]

WARGS: boil 'em, mash ' em, stick 'em in a stew.

[@carlosplata3899]

@@Nokaret A delicacy in Mordor, might I add

[@GregScholfield]

Slippery slope arguments are real. A month and a half ago I wouldn’t watch an EFAP cut longer than 20 minutes. Now here I am. And somehow I subscribed…

[@throwdown1776]

Beware the EFAP pipeline

[@ParanoidAlaskan]

​@@throwdown1776 the EFAP to long form content pipeline 🤣

[@crimsonpotemkin]

Not to get political, but just take a look at the current newest pride flag and then try and say that slippery slope is a fallacy. And that's not even its final form. The same way the list of disabilities will keep growing, the same way the letters in their long ass abbreviation will keep growing. The slippery slope fallacy is a fallacy.

[@realmofloredor]

@@throwdown1776 that dark abyss…

[@carlbernard7615]

Well I hope you like Rhino milk 😉

[@rotpar757]

One orc jumping the gun and starting the assassination is WHY you bring an orchestra to score your Roman-themed murder of the king! See, Snyder IS a genius after all.

[@jonbaxter2254]

Dew it, kill hrerr!

[@Addahandle-q6t]

Imagine the possibilities they could’ve done with Sauron being a shapeshifter. Instead they put a wig on Charlie Vickers

[@Daniel_C_Griffin]

I started rewatching parts of RWBY, and Neo uses her shape-shifting abilities so well, she's literally the most effective enemy they have.

[@Makowh]

For me he looks like Michael Sheen in Twilight lol

[@LukasJampen]

You couldn't trust any character anymore and everytime even a main character acts slightly odd it could be him. Of course the characters would need to be consistent for that to work but hey one can dream.

[@ChristmasLore]

One Word: Manimal

[@TaoScribble]

I think the writers of this show either _genuinely_ don't see Sauron as the Satan-like being that he is, or they don't grasp the sort of power/influence a being like that would have. They're treating him like he's just some dude with magic.

[@lore_shards]

An understandable mistake when you do worship satan

[@jishwah1889]

Which is ironic, considering their boss is the businessman version of Sauron. They just need a fireside chat with daddy Bezos and they'll have all the negative qualities of Sauron locked down

[@Actile1]

This is why I could never believe Halbrand is Sauron. Because there was nothing great or special about him, he was just a normal dude who almost died multiple times. That can't possibly be Sauron, Sauron is a demigod sorceror with supreme powers and an army of evil monstrous minions.

[@zombieranger3410]

Sauron is just a level 13 evil Wizard, not the world-conquering crisis demigod that the books and original films depict him as. His power able to bend minds to his will, able to craft THE ring which can corrupt all who merely gaze at it, and his own will so strong it can manifest as an all-seeing eye of fire after death, is just things any wizard can do.

[@shaecouture7480]

​@@Actile1His powers list includes "Low level matter manipulation." That is insanely powerful lol

[@christophergirardi8145]

Morgoth: the kind of Villian who would bash his problem's head in until it breaks. Sauron: the kind of Villian who'd drip poison into his problem's ear until the problem becomes a solution for himself. Sauron in the show: failed politician who gets stoned....

[@samwallaceart288]

Write what you know be like

[@Gunleaver]

Regarding trashing the Rings and making new ones, there is a strongly stated rule in Tolkien's writing that a great craftsman cannot duplicate his greatest feats of skill. When the Trees were destroyed, the Valar could not remake them, because they were the greatest work of the Vala of plants, Yavanna. So they turned to Feanor, who had captured their light in the Silmarils, asking for his permission to take the Light back from his gems, and when he hesitated, the Valar were pissed, but Aule, the craftsman of the Valar (and husband of Yavanna) counseled them to patience, because as a craftsman, he understood what Feanor was being asked to do. And Feanor refused, because unmaking the Silmarils would destroy his greatest creation and he would never be able to match it again. Further evidence of this principle are the films "King Kong", "The Lovely Bones" and "The Hobbit" trilogy. ANYWAY, the relevance to this video, the Three Elven Rings are unquestionably Celebrimbor's greatest work, and would almost certainly be the thing he could not equal, like Feanor and the Silmarils, Yavanna and the Two Trees, and Peter Jackson & the LotR trilogy. Also, probably, Sauron and the One Ring. So if they destroyed the Three, there would be no making new ones. Of course, the show should establish this datum. I would be very surprised if the writers were at all aware of it.

[@mordirit8727]

"Craft Magic" is such an interesting concept in the lore that could have made the Brimby plot of S1 so much better. Imagine if he talked about this, about the importance of getting it right the first time because he felt this was it for him, this was the day a piece of his soul was going to leave his body and go into his work, hence the fear and hesitation of working with just a little bit of mithril. It's a beautiful bit of lore, that people who are so dedicated to their craft can sacrifice something of themselves in order to create something that will carry their power onwards. My favourite isn't the Silmarills or the Trees, but Luthien, the "perfect creation" of the Maiar Melian, who loved the elf Thingol so much she found a way to give him a child. Melian was shackled to the physical world for this, and she was destroyed by the loss of Thingol when he dies, but almost every single good thing to happen from the end of the First Age onwards in the universe can be traced back to the birth of Luthien. Imagine a show where Celebrimbor and Elrond have a conversation that goes along the lines of "my ancestor, Fëanor, gave his fire to make the Silmarills, and how many untold horrors have come to pass for that? But your ancestor, Melian, gave hers to make Luthien Tinuviel, whose light and beauty I still see in you... Elrond, I need to make sure that when I forge these rings, it is Melian's experience and not Fëanor's pride that guides my hand. My friend, I need you to council me, for one of our ancestors has been wise and one hasn't in this matter, and unfortunately I am the one with the right knowledge for this job, but the wrong ancestry."

[@realmofloredor]

Old Man Waldreg stole my tipples, my Halloween, my ability to visit Mordor.

[@pinkerproductions7420]

And ruined grandma

[@realmofloredor]

@@pinkerproductions7420 And made Rags the fall guy

[@Egurius3]

That can't be true, Waldreg welcomes everybody to Mordor.

[@realmofloredor]

@@Egurius3 He stole my running shoes, and one does not simply walk into Mordor.

[@tylerwhales]

It's the only thing in life that gives me joy

[@TheCucuyo9779]

A supernatural lord of evil is more easily swayed from his quest for revenge and conquest than an elvish princess.

[@Vario69]

Certified woman moment

[@terrasur4168]

Adar should know very well he can’t actually kill Sauron being a Maiar given they can’t actually die. Even when the ring is destroyed in the Third Age Sauron survived but was merely unable to gather enough power to reform and influence the world. They are not just demigods in Tolkien lore, they are gods in the little ‘g’ sense of ancient mythology to Tolkiens Catholic background, eternal beings with absurd powers literally responsible for the shape of creation and Adar being an Elf of the first age should be very, very, very aware of Sauron’s nature. I hate that they are setting up that Sauron needed the one ring to dominate the orcs as well as all the other races. Also too bad Sauron wasn’t in his fancy towering armored form they showed us at the beginning of season one otherwise the whole crown stabby scene could not have happened. Good thing they’ve nerfed the primordial being from before creation who deceived and manipulated countless other beings into some ineffectual weedy dude who can’t even command the respect of his own basic troops.

[@dodojesus4529]

Im also pretty sure the orcs are magically compelled to serve him.

[@MajorSmurf]

@@dodojesus4529 Hmm it's a bit more complicated than that. They are under his will sort of and will obey him mostly of terror of what happens if they don't but they also do hate Sauron, and some wish they were not slaves and would like to not be that. However because of how twisted and wrong they are, they also worship him because he gives them what they want. They want and get to kill, pillage and whatnot because he allows them to do that. Orcs were never suppose to be a real race, they are fundamentally just a mockery of life and only to be used and discarded by whichever Dark lord is in control. While it is true, he doesn't need the one ring to command them. He does sometimes need to get the whip out as it were to keep them in line. Orcs do have some free-will but it seems that due to how they are, they can't break free of their nature to be evil and serve.

[@terrasur4168]

@@MajorSmurfYep, unfortunately the show has failed to make him intimidating or competent or even capable of pulling any of this off. Literally capable of being ganked by his pawns at any time apparently. It’s genuinely pathetic. The just keeping sucking the magic out of the world and seemingly deliberately trying to either dumb it down or make it less mythic feeling.

[@ggrarl]

​@@MajorSmurf"Where There's A Whip, There's A Way"

[@MajorSmurf]

@@ggrarl That song is a gem... can't wait for ROP to rip it off... there is no low they will not stoop to.

[@GuðmundurÞorsteinsson]

He who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind. But he who sticks out in darkness is fluorescent - Gil galad

[@sol-hunter2332]

Lose 50 experience.

[@GuðmundurÞorsteinsson]

@@sol-hunter2332 I am so happy someone got that reference.

[@ZenoDovahkiin]

You're doing me a confusion, fren.

[@ChazCharlie1]

Gil-ga-DADDY!

[@Vario69]

Bill Balad

[@RanOutOfChannelNames]

In the secret canonical ending to The Lord of Ring: Gollum, Filthy Man survives his imprisonment in Mordor and is revealed to be Old Man Waldreg in no real disguise.

[@martonszokola3806]

Morfydd Clark's hand shakes due to the trauma she has suffered when the extras ran at her in orc customs.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

She's suffered through so much, poor woman can't even crack a smile anymore. She's seen the horrors of make believe television.

[@Jodanger37]

How they should’ve have done Sauron (instead of goo) is make him not physical at all, since he’s described as an “essence” in the source material. We know where he goes cuz there’s just a path of decay through a field, as the camera pans over flowers slowly wither, or a flock of birds disperses. It should be much more abstract, communicated in a way only film can But that’s too high concept for rings of power obviously

[@NoPantsBaby]

Glüg: Who is this farmer from the south?! A mere man dares to request an audience with the Lord-father?! Adar: Believe not that in the land of Mordor the blood of Waldreg is spent! By his valour he stuck the McMuffin into the plot device and create narrative contrivance!

[@morganseppy5180]

"mcmuffin" 😂

[@kylefrank638]

I don't think I ever wanted or needed to see the process by which Sauron gets a body back. Some of these faraway shots with the goop is like I'm watching a Planet Earth documentary about the Sauron octopus. I much prefer the mystique of, Sauron being a pervasive corruption, that can always come back, perhaps in unlikely places and forms. You take that and make it clearly like, a biological thing... it's so less threatening. Because now you can imagine a cage around the Sauron octopus. You can imagine him being kept at bay with like a bonfire. It's so unappealing to my mind.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

Sauroctopus?

[@bijibadness]

but how do you show formless corruption? it's impossible. totally impossible for the makers of this show. it'd be so great if they HAD stuck to the idea of a formless corruption. and to illustrate this concept they cut in contemporary footage of Donald's inauguration or something. that's about as subtle and crafty as the makers of this show seem willing to be.

[@kylefrank638]

@@bijibadness Were I forced to "explain" Sauron's immortality, in a show I'm creatively heading... I would've called for the "resurrection" scene to merely be, the camera lingers on where Adar slayed him. We just see some shadows flit unnaturally on the walls, no full-on silhouettes or anything but just enough for you to get that there is some activity at his grave. You could just show a rat or two keeling over as these shadows pass (I do not like MauLer's suggestion of a skeleton hand or whatever the fuck he said). Next, we could exit the caves, into the forest at the base of the mountain, and even though the sun is still out, we pan through some trees and suddenly the light stops bleeding through certain patches, in a trail. Obviously do some fade-outs to show significant time is passing. Lastly, we cut to a traveler like the woman with the wagon we see in the show, and she's stopped by a stranger walking out of the woods, who is seeking directions.

[@庫倫亞利克]

@@bijibadness Maybe only imply someone is Sauron's avatar? Have them act innocuous, helpful, and fair, but all their actions in retrospect serves Sauron's short-term goal perfectly (ironically, this show's Not!Galadriel fits this criteria). And then when the plan comes to fruition and it's too late to stop it, the innocuous stranger-turned-comrade dissolves in a wisp of black smoke and a different figure shows up: Sauron in an altered form ready to meet power with power.

[@Horvath_Gabor]

In the original lore, Galadriel gets to keep one of the rings because she's one of the oldest leaders of Elves in Middle Earth. As in, she's already been something akin to a duchess, with her own land and people and her unique mystical powers and everything in the First Age, so it made sense to give one of the rings to her. Here... ... People call this show a bad fanfiction, and it absolutely is. It simply takes the names of people and places, and tells a harebrained story that only vaguely resembles the original, twists the canon characters, fetishizes the villain, and serves as little more than a vehicle for the author to vent their pet peeves and wild opinions while glorifying their self insert. I can say, without hyperbole, that this series is functionally identical to My Immortal. Let that sink in.

[@庫倫亞利克]

Galadriel in the books and the Jackson movies: a duchess Galadriel in Rings of Power: a douche

[@baldurgunnarsson2578]

Narya, the red ring had the power "to inspire others to resist tyranny, domination, and despair" and yet the show implies that the ring has some sort of evil sway over the elves implying they would embrace everything the ring is supposed to be the antithesis of. This show is so shit.

[@pezdispencer113]

My understanding is that the elven rings were made in secret, so Sauron didn't know of them when he forged the One Ring to control the others.

[@jacksimpson8529]

@@pezdispencer113 They were also the only ones who DIDN'T in some way corrupt their owners, since he wasn't directly overseeing or involved with their forging like he was with the others. However, since Celebrimbor was still using the techniques Sauron taught him, the Three Rings were still 'networked' to the One Ring, so they lost their own powers once it was destroyed.

[@Mythonaut]

Old man Waldreg actually gets a ring of power and becomes the witch king

[@DiZtheJedi]

That would save the show.

[@iainmcdonalds4018]

Fuck. Listening to Mauler talking about "isn't that what a Magical ring that corrupts would do?" reminded me of a goddamn fanfic. A Harry Potter/D&D crossover where when someone mentions cursed objects, Harry gets super suspicious of the Mirror or Erised because he saw it and had the desire to show his friends (perfectly understandable human reaction) and when after showing it to Ron, Ron says they should show it to Hermoine. Harry borderline freaks out and then immediately marches both himself and Ron (who he's holding at wand point) to the most powerful, wise wizard he knows, Dumbledore, to find out whether or not they are *actually* cursed. I'm so sad that fanfic died, it legit had some really good writing in it as well as was hilarious.

[@weswolever7477]

On second thought, let’s not go to Mordor. It is a silly place

[@lordvarrax5060]

4:42:45 Mechanical clocks were literally invented during the Medieval period- it’s not that hard to imagine the Dwarves could have a similar invention to turn the mirrors each day, and then have some Dwarves who adjust them on, say, a weekly basis to ensure they stay with the sun. People weren’t stupid back then, they could definitely build something like this in real life if they had the inclination to.

[@lordvarrax5060]

He does have a fair point about the crossbows and such- I never understood why nobody in LOTR had crossbows (aside from Isengard in the movies).

[@morganseppy5180]

And Rags is absolutely right. The further back you go, the more humans have to be aware of the sun and the seasons. Those who didn't, didn't survive the winter (or the rains if you lived near the equator).

[@tangueraLady]

In fact by the current time of the show Arda should still be flat, everything is in one plane so adjusting the mirrors would be even easier.

[@Schinak]

Celebrimbor from fucking shadow of mordor would slaughter this rendition of him

[@Gunleaver]

Cirdan does not have the Ring of Water, he has the Ring of Fire and gives it to Gandalf, when the wizard arrives in Middle-Earth (because he arrived at the Gray Havens, coming by sea, not a meteor in Rhovannion or wherever the Harfoot Hobos were), saying Gandalf would need it more, given his mission to stoke fires in the hearts of Men & Elves to resist Sauron. Because of his proximity to the Sea, which is the domain of Ulmo, one of the greatest of the Valar, who has always been the most compassionate & protective toward the people of Middle Earth, Cirdan needed the preservative powers of a Ring less than did Imladris or Lothlorien, which were much further inland and closer to the works of the Enemy, so he gave it to Gandalf, whose mission would take him into darker places.

[@MajorSmurf]

ROP has utterly screwed the timeline that you can't salvage this into anywhere close to be inline with Tolkien or work as a story. FFS the simple truth is that NO-ONE, I MEAN NO-ONE knew what Sauron was up to or that he was Annatar. That completely and utterly fcks the entire premise of the story, because if the elves even suspected none of this would have happened. Armies would be sallying forth to Eregion and reinforcing it or getting Celebrimbor out of there immediately or stopping him from making them. Also btw Annatar appearing and when he finally forges the one ring is like 600 years (I think, someone might correct me). That's how god dam borked this timeline is, making the rings wasn't a simple process. It took so many years to research, making prototypes and than eventually lesser rings of power. Also reminder but Cirdan was against the rings and advised Celebrimbor against making them. He and Elrond would be the two to tell Isildur to throw the one ring and undo it. HERE? Oh, dear a bubble made me stop. Galadriel, Gil-galad and Cirdan were not deceived EVER! They all did not trust Annatar, Galadriel and Gil-galad both told him to piss off when he turned up to them. Only Celebrimbor allowed him in, going against Galadriel who he was companion too. Every single one of these characters are not anywhere close to Tolkien. Galadriel is an angsty teenager despite being the oldest outside of Cirdan. She's seen horrors the likes of which none of the other elves would understand. Celebrimbor is a frumpy grandpa who can't even build an umbrella, despite him being way younger than Galadriel. Gil-galad isn't a king, he can't even disciple his own people even when they become outright traitors to his will nd judgement. That's a death sentence in most medieval societies. How the hell does he rule a kingdom?

[@reek4062]

*Yes*. A lot of people don't mention the lesser rings Celebrimbor and Sauron made. I believe Gandalf initially thought Bilbo's ring was one of them.

[@visitingforgefather5997]

As a fan of Tolkiens Dwarves I'm still baffled how they handled Durin. The biggest thing with Durin is the fact the Dwarves believe each Durin is a reincarnation of Durin the First and that there will only be Seven. Disregarding the messed timeline, how the f*** do you justify there being two reincarnations of the same dwarf, one of who is the son of the Third reincarnation? For Godsake they had a potentially interesting story there, they could have had a storyline of the dwarf who would become Durin III having their entire life turned upside down by this revelation. Imagine a story of a dwarf dealing with the pressure of living up to such a legacy, questioning everything about himself and the awkwardness of friends and family suddenly treating him with reverence, creating this sudden distance between them.

[@lmahu6627]

I will never forgive the showrunners for having the audacity of saying that the Second Age was a "blank slate". It wasn't, it never was, Tolkien literally gave them a blueprint from the grave. Even without the rights to the other works of the Professor, one can make a five-season show with the timeline that is in the Appendices with enough talent. But talent is something that Payne and McKay lack.

[@lacolem1]

I always thought Sauron could shift his appearance with magic. Imagine my surprise to learn he’s just a disgusting Doctor Who!

[@Vario69]

*Regenerates into a female*

[@supersolomob422]

I still stand by how the Balrog is an excellent source of milk for the dwarves. And then the elves can use the Balrog milk for the moon runes like Rags proposed

[@morscoronam3779]

There's no reason not to milk Balrogs. - Jay, Probably

[@user-zq6sz2cr6g]

I would first make sure that I could tell the milk-producing half of the species from the other half. Milking is a very specific procedure. You don't want to make mistakes 😂

[@slaapt]

If all Halbrand had to do to become king was show up with a little pouch, why was the old nice man dressed in rags walking around as a little shitfarmer? Surely he could reclaim at least some wealth by saying "look, I have the pouch. I am king!" I do not believe he thinks farming all day and living in poverty is somehow better than living as a ruler just because his ancestors somehow messed something up.

[@iivin4233]

3:17:00 A cool way to take the ocean trench option off of the table would be for Círdan to explain that demigods like Sauron and Morgoth can work on geologic timescales. Just as Beleriand sank, the trenches of Middle Earth can be raised up into mountains. As old as Círdan is, he would remember stories of Cuívienen. He would know how the world has been "bent" and changed by time.

[@stijnvandenheuvel8117]

Regarding Sauron's fast travel at roughly 2:09:00 If Sauron can shapeshift, he can presumably turn into something that can fly, which would both be faster and more stealthy. It should have been shown if that’s what he did, but that could be an explanation.

[@Zephyr503]

Galadriel climbed a wall of ice, swam across the ocean, and survived a volcanic eruption. We have no reason to think she can't retrieve the rings from an abyssal trench. At $715 million and 16 episodes, this cost about $45 million an episode, or 3 Godzilla Minus Ones an episode. 5:54:22 Those helmets. It doesn't look like verdigris or weathering or artistry. It looks like they lost at paintball. 8:28:00 Elrond gets promoted over Galadriel. She immediately starts tweeting about the wage gap.

[@Sousabird]

I love at one point chat was basically getting ready to start an anti-elf pogrom. Serves the damn knife-ears right if ya ask me.

[@silverscorpio24]

Based.

[@fantasywind3923]

'Knife ears' this is the greatest jest in all of history of (Gondor or Middle-earth as a whole - hint this is paraphrasing the words of prince Imrahil from books) that a racial slur from Dragon Age is used for supposedly Tolkien world yUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I f.....g hate it!!!!!!!! Urghhh this is derivative of derivative works Tolkien knock-offs......how. Dragon Age, and Witcher both have these Tolkien-esque settings with races of elves, but in those elves are lowly and persecuted and genocided by humans :)....Tolkien Elves would have whooped the asses of those who would try, they were so powerful....but still they wouldn't for Elves of Tolkien were far wiser, far kinder, far more knowledgeable and pleasant than the other elves :)....of course there were some arrogant elves even in Tolkien world...most died out :).

[@morscoronam3779]

THEY TERK ER JERRRRRRBS!

[@Vario69]

​@@fantasywind3923the elf guy from hobbit who rode the huge fookin stag, that one seemed arrogant

[@fantasywind3923]

@@Vario69 the movie interpretation of Elvenking Thranduil was always off for me when it comes to comparison to the book, in any case the 'arrogant' Elves did exist but they had more complexity and nuance still. Elves of Tolkien are complicated bunch, they also have centuries of wisdom in most cases, but in general the Elves have far more compassion and understanding.

[@pat_back]

"The only thing worse than a living elf is a dead dwarf!" - Rags Barkhammer

[@Sue20022010]

A Rags can bark at the moon - but he cannot bring it down

[@fantasywind3923]

Oh come on the Dwarves in this garbage show are not even that impressive....the diversity hire yapping wife and some pathetic Durin who is cloned...there are two Durins at the same time which is contradictory to books...there was always one Durin at a time :)...there is also whole angle of the dwarven beliefs that each one named Durin is reincarnation of the first one Durin the Deathless :)...much more interesting element of dwarvish culture than invented 'rite of Sigin-tarag' which was just glorified rock smashing contest...(rite of Sigin-tarag is nosense for hte name Sigin-tarag is khuzdul, dwarvish language name of the clan...the Longbeards...so it means 'rite of the Longbeards' hahah so means nothing really...it's nonsense :)).

[@EverythingInMiddleEarth]

Waldreg created Mordor and beat up Sauron. What a chad !!!

[@Vario69]

And then he ate a warg offscreen

[@matthewcollins4773]

Making the Orcs true people instead of evil monsters undermines the triumph of Lord of the Rings. Instead of a desperate defence against an inhuman tide of darkness, it just becomes a tragic, pointless national-racial conflict between two armies of conscripts and peasants. When we see Aragorn crowned at Minas Tirrith, it's no longer "civilization was saved", its just "to the victor go the spoils". It ruins the heroes, really undermines them, because now the question is "why didn't they do more to negotiate?" etc. The orcs *need* to be monsters, a twisted mockery of life; they're not conscripts, they're not dutiful patriots, they're inherently warlike and awful because they're not a real race. You can't make peace with them or have them sign a treaty. In humanising the Orcs, the writers have damaged all of the heroes, because the heroes are still obviously treating them like unsympathetic monsters.

[@reek4062]

The Orcs are dominated by Sauron's will, mainly because they had been twisted and bred by Melkor. However there is nothing wrong with humanizing Orcs.

[@petriew2018]

@@reek4062 except all the things the OP mentioned about how it needlessly complicates the narrative for no added benefit. Orcs are supposed to represent what ultimately happens when you give yourself over over to evil. You won't be Sauron, ruling from your throne atop the impregnable tower, you will be the cannon fodder in his armies expended on a whim simply to spread evil for evil's sake. Tolkiens ideals of good an evil is that surrendering to evil is short term gain that will lead to nothing but long term misery, for you and those around you. THAT is why you should choose the harder and ultimately more fulfilling path. If Orcs, having given themselves over to evil, are also just not really different from humans.... yeah, the entire narrative suddenly loses all value. It's just one faction vs. another faction with no deeper meaning behind the choices the heroes have to make. So there is, in fact, everything wrong with 'humanizing' the orcs.

[@petriew2018]

@@reek4062 except, as the OP pointed out, that it reduces the whole thing from a morality tale to just a story about faction A vs. Faction B. If orcs are just funny lookin' people, the heroes are no better than they are for making the choices that they do humanizing the orcs robs the entire narrative of any real point. Which is why only terrible writers indulge in this kind of ham-fisted moral relativism.

[@matthewcollins4773]

@@reek4062 You know who doesn't humanise the orcs? Every heroic character in Lord of the Rings. I was always of the understanding that this was because orcs are an inherently malevolent and twisted pseudo-race. But if that's not true, and orcs can be something else or freed from Sauron's will, then all the heroes are casual genociders chopping down mind-controlled conscripts to cleanse the world of a rival tribe. Which rather ruins things in my opinion, and clearly wasn't the intent.

[@haykasatryan8331]

I partially disagree It's not that orcs are 100% cartoonish evil. It's just that their society sucks hella dick. It's a violent tribal rat-race where the most vile, cruel, wicked and murderous psychopaths rise to the top, and everyone else falls in line or gets bashed on the head with something heavy. You can see this in several chapters of the book, most prominently in "The Uruk-hai" and "The tower of Cirith Ungol". Orcs are pretty violent mfs who wouldn't bat an eye at murdering their own over a piece of jewelry or even just for fun. At the same time they have some notions of morality (barely), like for example when a party of moria goblins sets out in pursuit of the fellowship to take revenge for their fallen clansmen. Later these same orcs are contrasted with the Uruk-hai of Isengard, which unlike regular orcs, actually gave some vestiges of virtue to them. For example where the average orc is cowardly and wretched and quick to rout, the Uruk-hai show genuine bravery in the face of mortal danger, they show pride in their martial prowess, and are generally much more "warrior-like" than your usual uruk (while it's not directly stated it is heavily implied that the Uruk-hai are a product of mixing of orcs and humans). So the whole - "must we go to war :((((" thing is obviously ridiculous and if anything a normal orc would be like "yay :D war" and not because they are pure evil, but just because that's how their society works, it is based on violence and conflict. And by the way, this is not exclusive to fantasy orcs. There is a reason the middle-ages in europe were the way they were, and a substantial reason was the structure of feudalism. Since the upper-class was almost entirely composed of some variety of military professional (that is pretty much the reason for having feudalism in the first place), young noblemen were acclimated to violence since the age they could hold a weapon. At 6 years old you kill your first animal (during a hunt for example) at 12 it's off to your first war, even if you're just there to observe, at 16 you actively, participate, hopefully killing someone in the process, and then you don't stop until either A. You now have killed enough people and climbed the social ladder as high as your birth and abilities allow. Or B. You get your head bashed in by some other bloke climbing the same ladder.

[@jonburley1261]

i hate the fact they keep using the dark queen line to justify this bs love interest. Her line is "In place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth!" its like really no one making this shit heard the "in place" part they just hear Queen and go ooooo she wants to be his Queen, if Galadriel took the ring going evil she would have killed Sauron not fuck him.

[@samwallaceart288]

I legitimately never even imagined the line meaning anything else; unlike some fantasy ladies, Galadriel could 100% dominate a continent and cutthroat every one of her competitors and their families; she just chooses not to

[@Zzzlol94]

I couldn’t manage more than 20 minutes of episode 1 of S2, but I’ll gladly watch 8 hours to not watch the other 1.5 hours of the first two episodes.

[@veameal9725]

It's honestly wild how we spend our time. And what we spend it on. Imagine spending a Billion and losing out to Mauler on YT for watch time.

[@Dave_L913]

This panel is much more entertaining than anything RoP could produce.

[@crimsonpotemkin]

I've thought about this since season 1 and I've understood where my disdain for this show is coming from. Half of it is that they've made elves into just really stupid humans. There's nothing elf-like about them, they're not special, etherial, magic or divine like they're supposed to be. They're dumb, crude, petty, incompetent, useless and pretentious. Their stupid platitudes are like Dunning-Kruger personified. The other half is how it's written. Galadriel is a lot like a main character from an anime, the entire world revolves around her even though she's not special, quite the opposite. She's dim-witted, short-sighted and short-tempered. The worst combination, an actual neanderthal caveman. But the show is written like there's only like 10 elves in existence, so she HAS to be special, she HAS to be the general, the leader, etc etc. In reality, for her unbelievable degrees of foolishness she'd be exiled or imprisoned at best, stripped of rank and told to F off. In reality an idiot like her would be replaced 10 times by now by some much better elf, but the show bends the entire world to keep her as the main character. Sauron is also kind of like Galadriel. They both get attributed things that they don't have and haven't earned, like charisma, leadership, plans. It's presented like they have those things, but it's all fake and vacuous crap.

[@Orkillester1]

Hilarious message from chat no one reacted to: Mithril in Urine

[@ParanoidAlaskan]

"She twitted my tipples!" - Boogierog

[@samwallaceart288]

I always assumed dwarven kingdoms had pigfarms tucked away in the valleys of their mountains. For humans such farming would be impractical because of transportation, but for dwarves who already dominate with underground networks, they have miles of well-defended alcoves, brooks, and glens above their heads that they alone have ready access to. Sure, dwarves stay close to ground when they're out and about, but once you're past the foothills I assumed the whole upper mountain surface is theirs to use. Maybe the writers haven't climbed a mountain before; them bitches are PACKED with easily-missed divets impractical for surface-climbing but could easily fit a farmstead at the bottom, WITH full sunlight above but total privacy from outside peepers; they don't need a road, just a door with a stairwell. That's free real estate. Why THE FUCK would a dwarf kingdom "Nah fuck that" all that pre-sunned earth to instead make a sun-hole that will generate half the yield at 2000x the cost? That's just bad business.

[@julieours4135]

The elves sure have a lot of polyester

[@Hirome_Satou]

I'm honestly really confused as to what the writers and producers think they are saying when they made it girl boss Galadriel who is responsible for the creation of the rings, the use of the rings, and by hiding her knowledge of who Sauron is and what his goals are, that it is her fault that the world almost fell to complete ruin in the LoTR trilogy.

[@mrsamaritan6881]

To be fair, the show doesn't show us that Sauron "becomes" what he "eats" (for lack of a better term). It shows us that he "rebuilds" himself as he absorbs life.

[@יאירימין-ע2ו]

Yes, but he looks completely different, which makes you wonder what are the limits of his rebuilding, maybe he could turn into a child when he was still small, maybe to an animal, but we have to assume that he can only do what we see him do because nothing is explored or explained.

[@fantasywind3923]

Either way complete nonsense....for they suddenly are making him into Venom symbiot :)...instead of ACTUAL SPIRIT that can form up new physical body controlling matter. "Sauron was always de-bodied when vanquished. He needed time for his own bodily rehabilitation, and for gaining control over his former subjects. He was attacked by Gil-galad and Elendil before his new domination was fully established. After the battle with Gil-galad and Elendil, Sauron took a long while to re-build, longer than he had done after the Downfall of Númenor (I suppose because each building-up used up some of the inherent energy of the spirit, which might be called the 'will' or the effective link between the indestructible mind and being and the realization of its imagination). The impossibility of re-building after the destruction of the Ring, is sufficiently clear 'mythologically' in the present book."

[@庫倫亞利克]

Sauron doesn't need to absorb anything to assume a new form. Maiar are spirits whose bodies are as dispensable to them as clothes, and Sauron's power to shapeshift is exceptional even among the Maiar.

[@Jim-Tuner]

@2:14:00 - In the books, the north of Mordor is a desolate volcanic plain. But the south of Mordor around the sea of Nurn is supposed to be a region where crops can be grown by slaves.

[@The_shady_puffer]

Somehow Waldreg will return...

[@carlbernard7615]

And cover the land in a second darkness. It comes right after second breakfast.

[@sparkypack]

Somehow Poppy returned

[@user-zq6sz2cr6g]

​@@carlbernard7615 But we can still have elevensies, right? Right??

[@carlosplata3899]

@@sparkypack I would sacrifice the halflings and their entire plotline to the shadow just for a Waldreg cameo. Would do it for free too

[@sparkypack]

@@carlosplata3899 but then we wouldn't know the story about the Hobbit's ancestors. haha..

[@rouge9082]

This show is desperately screaming "I'm good".

[@Tundra.]

"I'm not fanfiction. I'm actually extremely lore-accurate right now..."

[@zappruder7379]

I'm going to watch all of these, thanks for having my two favorites Little Platoon and Random, and of course the long man

[@Mr.Silver78]

Pippin sees a glimpse of Sauron and they interpret his vision AND ACT ON IT

[@Don9872]

That works because the characters know what the palantir is and how it functions. The ring’s in this show have so far done whatever the writers want them to do, and will likely continue to, in order to advance their shitty plot.

[@canaldecasta]

...Does this make Aragorn & Co monsters for killing that many fathers? Think of all the families they destroyed. Extra Credits is NOT happy with this. #Orcslivesmatter?

[@sparkypack]

Poppy knows best.. 😆

[@silverfox8209]

Why does the place where someone evil die automatically becomes evil? Shouldn't it be the reverse? It the place where evil was defeated. Can you imagine if Minas Thirith became all icy because the Witch King died there. You did good, you defeated evil as a reward your whole kingdom gets super extra evil cold. You're welcome!

[@slaapt]

Just because the reactor at Fukushima was destroyed, doesn't make the area cleaner. Stuff leaks out.

[@lostalone9320]

Eh, it depends on the author. Its pretty common that dark lord types corrupt the land under their feets, and also common that when they die all their excess magic spills out. Even when neither of those is true, its an historic truth that the places associated with fallen rulers are sought out by those who follow the same agenda. Back in Ancient Rome there's a bunch of people who weren't allowed to be buried because they didn't want the tombs to become rallying points. It's a big reason why the Soviets never admitted to having Hitler's body at the time, even though they were convinced they'd found it.

[@Siggmasta]

Finally an EFAP on this abomination! I was so waiting for it, thank you!

[@carlbernard7615]

You would all understand this show better if you considered one thing. Do you know why a ring spins, but, a necklace, swings?

[@T1S_Mixes]

The ring has a secret....

[@Vario69]

The necklace looks down, for it is heavy like the- I can't do this 😂

[@vulpinedeity3379]

I wish Rags could pronounce... anything. How many times does he need to hear the name Cirdan before he stops calling him Sirden?

[@vulpinedeity3379]

Okay, he got there eventually. Good dog.

[@samwallaceart288]

It's like Drinker trying to pronounce "Lackadaisy" or Gary trying to pronounce in general

[@danidelight]

Sometimes when your brain has already decided to pronounce something one way, it's hard to rewire it

[@MrRitsart]

the Age of Long is over...The Age of Short has begun!!!

[@anaccountforcommenting6651]

5:35:49 he tried to exile Galladriel into another continent. It admittedly failed but it is undoubtedly a wise decision and meant he didnt have to deal with her bullshit for presumably half a year

[@morganseppy5180]

Also explains why she doesnt get punished for failing for 1000 years. Probably a vacation for him.

[@silverscorpio24]

EFAP laughing at Rings of Power is the only thing that brings me joy in life.

[@ThomasStevensontutor]

Why is Elrond building a ship in episode 2, instead of trying to save the day? It could be that he's already given up and is treating Middle-Earth as a lost cause, so now he's preparing for the trip to Valinor.

[@alexhayden219]

Sauron : I have a plan. Adar : You've got a plan? Okay, first of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan. Sauron : I'm not copying you, I have a plan, that's not that unique of a thing to say. Adar : And secondly, I don't think you even have a plan. Sauron : I have part of a plan.

[@S4ns]

As Gooron was flopping down that mountain all I heard was Boogie's voice: "I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN, I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN, HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME!"

[@ElecManEXE]

Protein in urine incarnate

[@tobygoodman9134]

This is hands down the most premium content, and I'm so happy to be watching this, truly this has brought me so much happiness already and I'm only 1.5hrs in.

[@morscoronam3779]

Waldreg will be revived/life extended by Sauron and his excellent Greeting Skills used in his new job... The Mouth of Sauron.

[@Atheismo9760]

The Balance of 1 The Balance of 2 The Balance of 3 The Balance of MAAAANYYYYYYYYYYY!

[@jaredbeacher]

So happy as soon as I saw guest roster, gonna be lovely 8+ hours for sure

[@DrAlberts]

This was finally uploaded to Spotify so since I was going to listen to it I came on here to check on the cast and I'm happy RFT is here. Good job and congratulations my man

[@sol-hunter2332]

3:24:00 why are they writing Galadriel to be a fool, and responsible for Sauron's rise to power?

[@suziechapstick8236]

because fake drama and dumb character arcs are pretty much standard for every low effort streaming show out there, and this is no exception.

[@alexhayden219]

6:31:00 Elves are like vampires. They can't come into your mountain unless they're invited.

[@StMongo_the_Whaleish]

How did you manage to do 9 hours of amazing insights in 4 minutes??

[@venomsnake4042]

Don't play the wrong melody of a persons heart like the stone that looks down but instead spread the salt on the table like the ship that looks up. Stop barking at the moon to bring it down but give me the meat and give it to me raw. I am good

[@karlheber23]

To be fair, if I was married to someone named Teleporno, I wouldn't bring it up much either.

[@spectral_force5097]

Somehow, Tipples of Power has returned.

[@David_the_Psalmist]

As Bilbo Baggins said, it's distasteful to me, but also the only thing that brings me joy.

[@spectral_force5097]

To paraphrase his brother Bibbus Baggleton, the show feels thin, like protein spread over too much urine.

[@alexhayden219]

1:17:00 The Old Man rolled a nat 20 on Sauron's DC 2 persuasion check.

[@HectorLopez0217]

Just the mention of Galron reminds me of Reylo and it made me realize it only worked with Bulma and Vegeta

[@cjmk5923]

Bulma and Vegeta are hardly a couple

[@TeutonicKnight92]

So from a book lore point of view, Maia should leave behind a body when they “die.” Now as a creature of spirit he doesnt need a body to act and can eventually re-incarnate, but “death” is still painful and traumatic. Sauron’s loses his body three times IIRC over the course of the Legendarium; at Numenor, the War of the Last Alliance, and after the Ring is destroyed. Amusingly Luthien in the First Age after defeating Sauron on the Isle of Werewolves, with help from Huan, threatened to send Sauron spirit back to his master sans body “Then Sauron shifted shape, from wolf to serpent, and from monster to his own accustomed form; but he could not elude the grip of Huan without forsaking his body utterly. Ere his foul spirit left its dark house, Lúthien came to him, and said that he should be stripped of his raiment of flesh, and his ghost be sent quaking back to Morgoth; and she said: ‘There everlastingly thy naked self shall endure the torment of his scorn, pierced by his eyes, unless thou yield to me the mastery of thy tower.’

[@madboytech]

platoon is essential in criticizing the rings of power, having read the silmarillion. not that the show follows the lore very much but knowing what they did and didn't do

[@carlbernard7615]

Watching reactions and reviews to this show is genuinely more entertaining than the show itself.

[@Vario69]

They hit the one hour mark and they're still going over Sauron goop 😅😅😂

[@SugarFreeGaming]

I just wanna say thank you to all you efap guys for making these long form videos, i work long enough to sometimes watch 1 whole video 😂 but atleast now im entertained for the whole day

[@PolishGoblinn]

08:38:30 the foreshadowing

[@Astroman10]

3:32:57 - Why is Nori wearing makeup?? 3:36:55 - wait they are both wearing makeup!!!??

[@anarchy....]

Apart from his shit jokes, agreeing with mauler on everything or just repeating what someone else has already said, why is metal here?

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

I am pretty sure the Lord of the Rings appendices and the Silmarillion and the Search for the Ring never names the Blue Wizards. We only knew they went East and were lost - maybe died, maybe corrupted, we never heard of them again.

[@lmahu6627]

The Maiar cannot die, though.

[@kingragnarok7302]

I like RFT, he should talk more

[@deadflag3426]

He talks loads on his channel 👍

[@alexhayden219]

5:40:45 Lukepaltine sounds like room temperature chocolate milk.

[@shadyminkins5704]

The Little Platoon is more eloquent speaking off the cuff than I am in writing... Also no hate but I kind of prefer the smaller casts on these videos. To me Mauler, Fringy, Rags, and Platoon is the dream lineup for these, possibly also Disparu. Too many people and it becomes too much talking over each other (and less opportunities for TLP to talk).

[@DaughterofAslan16]

I’ve been waiting 2 years for this! 🙌🏻 I’ve listened through the season 1 EFAPs so many times by now, their takedown of this show is too good.

[@KingKamor2]

In season 3, during the Waldreg funeral arc, the writers could draw parallels between Sauron/Waldreg and Theoden/Theodred. They could have the Mordor Greeter Mounds instead of the hill of buried kings from The Two Towers. Sauron: (turns to Not Gandalf with a mournful look) "No dark lord should have to bury their greeter..."

[@Vario69]

Waldreg will return for flashback scenes

[@TheMaleRei]

The Compilation video by Ladenstarfish is going to be twenty hours long at this point. *And I'm here for it!!!*

[@Natusian]

Sauron: he was in Lothlorien with my mom when she was researching rings of power right before she died.

[@gutzimmumdo4910]

1:57:33 why does his hair looks like that over the ear, it looks like he is bald and using a wig, wait... HE IS SAURON! (galadriel shouts then stabs and gut gilgalad)

[@ericbrown8974]

Mild hell is where it's too cold to go without a jacket, but if you put on a jacket and try to do anything, you get too hot. This you are always too cold or too hot in an endless cycle.

[@leonbrinck1504]

Don't know if this is a hot take, but I'd be happy to see narrator rags return

[@morganseppy5180]

​@@bigwinzI prefer this to him coming in cold so all he has is jokes. At least he watched the material.

[@TheREALSimagination]

Amazon's like, "Well, Trollywood has JJ Ambrams, so we'd like to counter that with someone who DOES pay off his set-ups, but IMMEDIATELY".

[@bijibadness]

be honest -- if they DID do a sudden Love Story between Sauron and Old Man ... just an awkward smile between the two / hard cut to Sauron The God of Evil being RAMMED on that boat ... it might be the funniest thing ever devised and enacted by mankind. the piercing laughter of Rich Evans first seeing the scene being _so_ loud, high and girlish that we unfortunately get a second hole in the ozone layer - the ultimate desperate, tone-deaf display of social politics pandering of all time. _Batwomen_ creators taking to Twitter sobbing about all the feels [they say] it brought to them. meanwhile they're doing their taxes or whatever.

[@morganseppy5180]

Lol. Now that you've said it, there's a fanfic somewhere....

[@MasterofInterspace]

6:05:27 Actually, funny enough, a kid's show did this concept better. In the show My Little Pony, the protagonists use a spell to teleport a chaos god they know over. He makes a show of having been in the shower and cheerfully berates them for not using the spell that they're supposed to use that gives him a heads up before being summoned. God, I just realized that My Little Pony has more authentic dialogue than the most expensive television show ever made. Sad.

[@tobygoodman9134]

I respect your sanity for talking about this for 9 hours. Looking for to ep 3/4 breakdown

[@QuatrinaVR]

Here in December 2024 after Random Film Talk disrespected Waldreg the Great