Chris Stuckmann's Terrible Book | EFAP Supercut

[@blackdragoncyrus]

This is BOOK written by AUTHOR. There are WORDS in it which forms SENTENCES, making PARAGRAPHS.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Is it good? It is BOOK

[@vrika4280]

SOUND by TURNING PAGES

[@patrioticcat5768]

If you've read *BOOK* by *AUTHOR* in the past then chances are you'll like this one. It was published by *PUBLISHER* and sold in *STORES*. Thanks for reading by book review, get stuckmanized

[@youtubeviolatedme7123]

I get that you're being hyperbolic, but if Chris Stuckmann were to actually review his own book, he would unironically say "I grew up with Chris Stuckmann, so I had high expectations for this book, and it absolutely delivers. It's funny, insightful, and really leaves you thinking by the end."

[@r3dr4te963]

@@youtubeviolatedme7123 my god, I can already hear him saying this with a dull monotone voice. ChatGPT can give more deep comment than him, seriously

[@thebatman4279]

He's cemented his reputation as one of the authors of all time. His book is the best thing since Zod's snapped neck.

[@SA-hz1rs]

He shouldve made that the title😅

[@jonbaxter2254]

@awhellnah__ "I grew up surrounded by necks" Bimbo Boggins.

[@youtubeviolatedme7123]

Each physical copy of Chris Stuckmann's book that is purchased comes with a free snapped neck to use as a bookmark.

[@Optimal4149]

That Stuckmann would be really mad if he allowed himself to criticize!

[@jujuteuxOfficial]

stuckmann more like sucks, man

[@nhagan001]

I like to think there is a Sméagol/gollum dynamic going on with Stuckmann, and he managed to lock away the “good half” of himself. Now all we have left is this empty husk.

[@eastonsaccount]

@@nhagan001underrated comment LOL

[@jackmerrick7419]

@@nhagan001Stuckmann won the argument.

[@boggeddown778]

Fortunately or unfortunately, we cannot control the actions of our past selves.

[@mylastaccountgotdeletedtha6936]

Three whole ass hours of Chris Stuckman is truly the one thing that sucks out all the joy in my life…

[@harbl99]

Embrace the suck.

[@FabledGorgon]

Sexual Harassment @@harbl99

[@dragonknightleader1]

Get ready to be suckman-ized!

[@charmandyorton006]

Get Suckmannized!

[@trequor]

It erases every tv, soundbar, and hooker

[@casbyness]

Chris Stuckman's Top Ten Foods To Try Before You Die: 10. Butter 9. Cheese 8. Milk 7. Crayons 6. Steak 5. Fries 4. Chicken 3. Hot Dog 2. Hamburger 1. Pizza The book we all needed.

[@sebscreensit221]

Dude lmfaooooo

[@auraguard0212]

Crayons 😂

[@SrslyTony]

Poison sandwich

[@the_absurd_hero]

No paint chips?

[@arbiter8246]

@@auraguard0212it’s a Simpsons reference

[@GundamWarrior1]

If I made a book about movies.....I would highlight movies that are A) underrated B) overbashed C) Foreign films D) Films lost to time E) and even guilty pleasures. Examples for me would the likes of Buckaroo Banzai, The Spiral Staircase, If You Meet Sartana Pray for Your Death, He Never Died and I could go on. Not films that made millions/billions at the box office.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

What? No High School High?

[@DaMaster012]

Me watching Buckaroo Banzai as: A kid: "Wow, this is AWESOME!" A teenager: "Wow, this is _stupid."_ An adult: "Wow, this is REALLY stupid....I love it."

[@elvickRULES]

Needs more Forest Gump and Mamma Mia

[@GundamWarrior1]

@@DaMaster012 Opposite 1st watch: "Why the hell did someone suggest this to me?" 2nd watch "This is one of the greatest movies of the 80's! I get the point now!"

[@GundamWarrior1]

@@Lobsterwithinternet Love Jon Lovitz and a huge fan of the The Critic but......nah.

[@lobalee1873]

1:35:05 I seriously believe the reason Return of The King is on this list and not any of the other LOTR movies is solely because it made cinema history with winning every oscar it was nominated for and not because Chris Stuckman particularly liked it or had his own reasons for thinking it the best of the three. Of course he just looked at what the academy liked the best and treated it as indisputable fact.

[@ASpooneyBard]

It seems like most fans will tell you that Fellowship is the best overall. It's the most complete and solid experience if we're looking at individual films (although, at this point, most people talk about it as three parts of a whole). The only reason Return swept the Oscars when the others didn't is because they came out of nowhere, so the mainstream media didn't recognize their importance until the third one. I'm not saying Return didn't deserve Oscars, they all did, but singling that one out of the trilogy could only be for the most shallow of reasons. It definitely makes more sense to put Fellowship on a list like this, and then highly recommend the other two if you enjoyed it.

[@berserkasaurusrex4233]

@@ASpooneyBard RotK's awards were effectively awarding the entire trilogy. It won because it finished the trilogy, and all three films were made simultaneously so they really are just one really long film. And Two Towers is the most popular of the films, from what I've seen of fans ranking and chatting about them.

[@TheRonnieaj]

@@berserkasaurusrex4233 I’m not a hige LoTR fan(I have seen them all and enjoyed them, but they’re no rewarches for me). But I will watch Two Towers any day. That movie is phenomenal. Personally, I thought Return of the King was an hour too long, but this probably due to me watching the trilogy at once, and RoTK starting at 2am 😂

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

He reviewed all of them...he admires all of them...

[@prlaughs]

This book was made for someone who just woke up from a 30 year coma. Most of the movies are popular.

[@auto_mata]

This book will be used as key evidence in Chris' upcoming trial for cinephila.

[@Zarvanis]

Okay, Blade Runner. Show me where he Stuckmanized you.

[@stewartoneill8419]

*Chris's 🤓

[@youtubeviolatedme7123]

"Your honor, the film was released in 2006, and therefore it is statutorily old enough to watch."

[@hkaayaakuu]

So can you describe what happened. Yes, he started to unreel my film off my body leaving me bare in his sight and then he started to derive pleasure of my parts. It was horrifying and scarring. Thankyou Ms, thankyou for your bravery. Your honour, that's all.

[@spinny003]

​@@stewartoneill8419oh no...

[@blackwolf4653]

i wish Mike Stoklasa and Rich Evans would sit down and read the book to each other and film it 😂

[@MyNamesZach]

I'd watch that at least once a year

[@deepstatethrombosis]

I'd watch that during every bowel movement. Rich Evans laughing is my heroin.

[@woodwyrm]

We should get a GiveSendGo-collect going and fund it ourselves!

[@orwell9788]

The follow up video of Chris being all defensive and butt hurt about it would be a good laugh as well.

[@michaelmoore2679]

I Don’t Watch movies. I haven’t been inside a theater in over a decade. Never even seen the first Avengers. And I’ve still seen over half of these “must see” movies.

[@DrViperVideos]

You’ve been stuckmanized then, congratulations on reaching enlightenment. Now you too can say phrases like “dynamic camera work” and “compelling action sequences” and not get any points across at all bc you’ll never go in depth.

[@stellviahohenheim]

@@DrViperVideos Also get emotional when anybody act a bit critical towards you

[@APileofSecrets]

I presume you have bills to pay and things to do. 💸💸💸🏠🚘

[@israelp348]

You should have went to go see Oppenheimer

[@Joe45-91]

I'm in the exact same position but would even say I've seen about 40 of them. Who is this book for?

[@biotrekker]

I saw Star Wars (AKA Part 4) w/my friends at age 18 at the Ziegfeld in Midtown NYC. We were absolutely blown away. The Empire Strikes Back did everything a sequel could hope to do. The opening scenes on Hoth, the Imperial walkers, and the introduction of the Executor as a shadow that envelopes the already huge Star destroyers -- Yoda, the fight scene w/Vader, the twist delivered with real emotion and drama. We loved it. The idea that Empire was not well received is complete B.S. and cope. I don't know how this myth arose.

[@verazollinger6862]

Stuckman used to have passionate, interesting reviews until something changed and his reviews became useless

[@magonus195]

He wants to work for Hollywood.

[@thebatman4279]

He feels compelled to kiss Hollywood rectum now.

[@DrViperVideos]

Hes now a film critic that won’t criticize films. You get nothing watching him now, its.. what’s a word worse than pathetic?

[@PowerSkiff12]

Pointless

[@BradleyWynne]

Completely inadequate two words but yeah.

[@CuhShark]

Watching Chris' videos gives off the impression that he's constantly trying to convince the audience and himself that he's a film connoisseur. But not only are his takes on movies extremely shallow but so is his "repertoire" of films that he's truly passionate about - evident by his book that lists the most normy popular films released in the 2000s.

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

Like David Fincher's films, like Blade Runner/Psycho...since when did Ebert go that much into depth??? He's a pop critic; what's wrong with that??

[@CuhShark]

@@neilwiththereeldeel The problem is that he absolutely does not view himself as a pop critic. He's been very vocal about seeing KZbin and his reviews as a means to an end rather than his passion. The end being a very renowned career as a bonafide film maker. Taking him at his word, you'd think that you'd see his passion for film making naturally bleed into his videos. Something similar to an Angry Joe with skits and costumes and story telling to make the reviews more interesting or engaging. But there's nothing. His videos are all identical aside from the film being discussed. Just sitting in a corner, describing who made the film, explaining the plot, giving it a score and getting Stuckmannized. Every single time. So when he wears a t shirt saying "film maker" or reiterates just how much he loves and cares for the art form, while not showing any of that passion through his editing or scripting, then it just comes off as him being insecure about it and needing to reinforce it to himself and to us.

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

@@CuhShark no, you are retarded and see how you can write three paragraphs without saying anything 😂😂😂...that is not at all what he does; he actually reviews the film as much as Ebert would (even better, in many cases) and that's a fact...he doesn't want to burn bridges and wants to be a filmmaker, so his decision to be less critical is...disappointing, but he is still critical of certain movies...point is: there is no way you can objectively say he does not give a "surface depth" review of movies: he goes into movies on the surface, but with a little bit of depth...that is a fact; no other way of looking at it...and that is how he sees himself as well

[@ash8298]

I give him credit for listing a Michael Haneke film, but of course these douchebags didn't like it.

[@cyberplanner2095]

Chris Stuckman is the Patrick Bateman of movie critics he just repeats everything he has heard said about movies without understanding why it was said.

[@RuneSmithYgdra]

He simply isn`t there.

[@52BLUE]

I thinks it time you either put the bong down or got a job, buddy.

[@corriethomson4431]

​@52BLUE, do you actually think that's a good roast or something?

[@cursedreality8615]

That’s weirdly true

[@sparkycjs]

I bet he listens to Huey Louis and The News

[@Steel_Wrath]

"KZbin is a graveyard of attempted TLJ defense." Maybe the best rebuke of a film I've ever heard. 41:26

[@Fluffy6555]

I'm so sick of hearing about the last jedi. Everyone who liked the movie moved on. Why is this community so attached to it?

[@Steel_Wrath]

@Fluffy6555 did you see that video of the cops chasing someone the other day where things kept going wrong. One cop rearends another cruser, the dog accidentally bites a cop and so on. It's like that. The more you watch it, the worse it gets. Also, shawdenfroida or whatever can't spell.

[@Fluffy6555]

@@Steel_Wrath that describes a lot of movies, it describes ep 9 even better. Why aren't we still talking about those movies eight years later?

[@jeremyusreevu237]

@@Fluffy6555 There are several movies.I like that are hated by a ton of people and you don't see me complaining. This is because I understand people have different opinions than I do.

[@Fluffy6555]

@@jeremyusreevu237 there is no other movie that gets brought up this much in this community. I don't even like it that much. This goes beyond people complaining about a movie I liked. It's basically a cult. I just want people to shut up about it and talk about different movies 😂 Aren't you tired of complaining about the same movie for eight years straight?

[@samuelcourliss8496]

I just love that his movie bucket list is all huge blockbusters lmao

[@asarishepard8171]

Wow amazing!

[@samuelcourliss8496]

@@asarishepard8171 so glad there's a book to tell me to see the force awakens 💀

[@jangofett7421]

I saw Signs around the same age and it left an impression on me: that films can be unintentionally hilarious.

[@blackwolf4653]

Scary Movie 3 made that movie even more hilarious 😂

[@KamikazeChinaman]

Yeah, absolutely no one took that movie seriously.

[@DrVVVinK]

​@@KamikazeChinamanI don't think it was meant to be taken seriously. The opening credits allude to this with their style that is a call back to 50s b creature movies, that one would see at a drive in. It's a funny movie to watch during a sleepover when you get 12 in the 2000s.

[@Ry9022]

Having the end of a trilogy(lotr and toy story) but not the whole collection is an odd choice since those films rely on thier prior installments for character establishment.

[@elvickRULES]

To be fair, it’s a list for the 2000s. And the first two Toy Story movies were in the 90s. But it’s still weird

[@jackmerrick7419]

@@elvickRULESIn that case you'd want to make it clear that it's best for readers to watch the preceeding films first in the text.

[@nour2146]

This is bizarre, watching the third movie in a trilogy without watching it from the beginning is like going TLDR here’s the ending

[@asarishepard8171]

Fail just for that.

[@epicrotfl7017]

It’s not really that crazy to think about. People recommend watching The Last Wish all the time even though it’s a sequel.

[@bad-people6510]

Why would I need Chris Stuckmann when I have a magic 8-ball?

[@bushturkey798]

To remove the random element the ball might bring?

[@SrslyTony]

Chris Stuckman is white I guess

[@eastonsaccount]

War crime that he includes The Force Awakens as the Star Wars film to see before you die

[@jackmerrick7419]

It's a list of post-2000s films and I guess he thought that was the one to go for. In a way, I suppose it is. Recommending the other two would be a terrible idea (plus don't think they were out yet) and recommending any of the prequels would make him look like he was memeing.

[@eastonsaccount]

@@jackmerrick7419he should have picked ROTS or nothing at all

[@boomer.beasley]

​@@jackmerrick7419Would have been better to just not include it at all

[@mariokarter13]

The Force Awakens was really good for about 20 minutes when Finn was the main character.

[@samuelcourliss8496]

Would've chosen revenge of the sith myself, flawed movie for sure but if we're doing post 2000s that's pretty clearly the one to go for.

[@onionhat745]

I miss when critics would suggest ponderous, esoteric films. At least point me in a direction of something I've never seen before. My grandma has probably seen all these movies.

[@wojak-sensei6424]

People like Cody from Pointless Hub or Razorfist do better movie recommendations than Chris Stuckmann for the simple reason that they have something interesting to say about them. I think Chris really did approach this book like he would his reviews, just say whatever good platitudes that comes off the top of your head and move on. But you know what? I don't like the Bay-formers and I don't care much for 80s cheeseball action movies, but damn it, Cody and Razor talk about them like they're the most interesting films in the world. And that's what reviews and essays on films can do. They find good in the bad and bad in the good, all in the purpose of finding something to talk about. Bad, flawed, and even decent critics can say if they don't like the film for x, y, and z. But a good critic in my eyes does all that while still finding something insightful to say.

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

what are ponderous, esoteric films??? It's literally a film introductory list...he suggests all kinds of movies on his channel...how bout you actually know what you're talking about before talking...even Mauler would tell you to get off this planet for existing, let alone speaking

[@KingKayro87]

How ironic that Chris Stuckmann's review of _American Psycho_ has about the same level of depth to it as Patrick Bateman talking about Huey Lewis and the News: empty repetition of things he's heard a million times before, with no passion whatsoever, and without actually delving into the nuances of the piece in question.

[@spiderleenie]

At the absolute least, I can confidently say that the Prequels had great ideas ... It's just that a lot of it fumbled in its execution. The Disney trilogy, however ... It's 100% rotten from top to bottom; absolutely nothing worth salvaging.

[@JasonX909]

Finn could've been a decent character. And Adam Driver's acting was good. That's about it in my book.

[@spiderleenie]

@@JasonX909 If the Disney Trilogy had just let Rey turn to the Dark Side and then turned Finn into the main protagonist, then we may have gotten a half-decent film trilogy. When I saw The Force Awakens for the first time, it was crystal clear to see how Finn should have been the main character ... But they just HAD to make Kathleen Kennedy's self-insert the focus.

[@JasonX909]

@@spiderleenie Ya they could've even kept her as absurdly powerful as she was, with the message being that she eventually took it for granted, instead of being constantly surprised about her own abilities

[@zak7an2]

the Extended Edition of the LOTR trilogy is not too long it is also not too short it is at the precise length it means to be

[@johnramos8703]

A little to short in my opinion but also im a psycopath so the two could be related

[@leedobson]

Tell that to the books snapped spine

[@GigaTrope]

He forgot to say WHY you need to watch these films.

[@deepstatethrombosis]

You guys gotta do a book version of this podcast..EPAD. Every Page A Disappointment.

[@jamessullivan9048]

Can't wait for the Netflix adaptation

[@CommanderZx2]

Which BME actor do you think they would cast to play as Christ Stuckmann?

[@nont18411]

@@CommanderZx2 Kanye West or Will Smith

[@Hanoua2]

​@@CommanderZx2 the actress who played cleopatra

[@chrismaturino7938]

Ah ya beat me to it

[@leonlezama]

Me neither :D

[@anumuthusamy8065]

Hi guys, 50 year old Indian mom and OT Star Wars fan here, and I love your reviews. To put the records straight about Empire - I was a kid when it came out, and it did NOT have a lukewarm reception, it’s where we found out Darth Vader was Luke’s father !!! and Han and Leia’s love confirmed (I love you❤I know❤). At the worst we can say it shocked us. The proof how well Empire was received was how Return was anticipated just 3 years later. I was an 11 year old kid and I stood in line around the block in the rain for hours and we didn’t have seats, my brother sat on my cousins lap, and we didn’t care, we were so excited, hooting and hollering when each character came out. Chris is a hack. Anyone who likes force awakens is an idiot and does not know what good movies are.

[@Constantinch]

Is Under the Skin literally the only independent movie on that list? It seems like he took IMDB top 50 based on popularity + high rating and just copied the whole list.

[@regonik]

A 3-hour highlight. Longman's classic

[@personmcpersonperson2893]

A thorough Longmannization

[@APileofSecrets]

30:57 "They quite literally leap from the screen." 🎞🎞🎞 LITERALLY? 🎬 Does Stuckmann know what that word means? As in, the characters emerged from the screen and mingled with the audience, like in "The Purple Rose of Cairo"by Woody Allen? 🌹

[@TS-qr3rk]

Hearing Mauler read Chris's words is hilarious, it gives it a false air of gravitas that plays so well against the terrible prose.

[@patrickkelmer6290]

Chris Stuckmann = Brian Griffin

[@JasonX909]

This made me think of Quagmire's scene where he rips into him, and how much of that also applies to Chris. Good analogy

[@patrickkelmer6290]

@@JasonX909 EXACTLY

[@Arassar]

"cacher" is French for "to hide" So "caché" is "hidden"

[@EnsignRedshirtRicky]

Stucker's book is a manual on how to end up on OnlyJoys after your YT career fails.

[@nour2146]

OnlyJoys? 😂

[@hawttub_2265]

@@nour2146 Logging on to OnlyJoys is the Only Fan I have in life.

[@dalecooper2232]

Don't you mean OnlySoys?

[@RoarkeIsBored]

LonelyFans

[@thatguynobodywantstoknow4641]

It’s quite interesting isn’t it? How someone can you from being a normal critic who gives honest takes to this…shell of a critic. Someone who says (or in this case writes) soo much but doesn’t mean anything or is soo generic to be safe, like why? 😂

[@wolfhorn]

I remember there was a sequel to the girl with the dragon tattoo movie and it looked terrible I used to watch his videos back then and he reviewed it and that is when I start to get frustrated with his videos even commented on the video that he was going to soft on the movie so in a way this is sad to see

[@joelsommers]

When do you think Stuckmann made that jump from normal critic to a dishonest shell of a critic? Because this book was published several years ago, way before he had even a prospect of making movies himself.

[@thatguynobodywantstoknow4641]

@@joelsommers oh. Thats true, I never actually thought about that? I mean the reason why he does, what he does now, is because he don’t want to “burn bridges” as a film maker now but perhaps it’s possible that when this book was published, in order to attempt to not receive criticism, he just played it SUPER safe?

[@joelsommers]

@@thatguynobodywantstoknow4641 Like, of course we can't know what's in his heart. I just kind of assumed he's just a really Wonderbread dude. I think it's possible he was never that edgy.

[@1000000man1]

*in reference to his TFA review Ugh, I'm sick of those arguments people make in favour of sequels/reboots; claiming that the only reason people didn't like it was because they're comparing it to the originals. It's utter nonsense. I've not even seen the originals, but I have enough knowledge about them to know how the new films contradict them and I have seen TFA and TLJ.. and I can give all kinds of reasons why they are Not good films without connecting them to the originals at all.. Yet I STILL see people defending them by saying everyone Just compares it to the original. They're essentially saying we are wrong for expecting a worthy sequel. What kind of argument is that??

[@DrViperVideos]

Its sad that there is probably a case of someone buying this book, reading it, seeing oh return of the king? Watches ONLY return of the king and has no clue wtf is going on, thus thinking lord of the rings is bad. Shame on you for potentially confusing that person stuckman.

[@zak7an2]

this book feels like the complete opposite of YMS and his "media diet" its such a normie list with a very few exceptions that its not hard to believe it was written by Stuckmann

[@deafgwipps]

God film bros like you are as bad as Chris stuckman fans lmao Normies 🤓

[@Galvatronover]

@@deafgwipps what do you mean ? he's not looking down on normal people for having low taste just because ehe used the word "normie" and it would be forgiven if stockmen wasn't so boring despite his apparent love for film

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

@@deafgwipps WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM A FILM BRO??? HE'S FUCKING RETARDED, SO MUCH SO HE CITES YMS THE WOKE TARD AS SOME KIND OF FILM BUFF, AND HAS THE HYPOCRITICAL RETARDED BALLS TO BASH CHRIS...EVEN MAULER WOULD BE LIKE "WTF" 😂😂😂...oh wait, that's what you mean by a "film bro"...I see 😂😂

[@vladdebrancovan7011]

ok... does he actually understands any of the words that he strung together?

[@Nefiir]

Is there any book in existence that doesn't have 'Best Seller' on it these days?

[@Zepher0987]

You only need to sell like 2,000 or 20,000 to get the title. I forget which but either way it's incredibly small.

[@APileofSecrets]

I think if the author prints a FIRST run of 500 copies and sells them in NYC🗽 in a short time, they can make the NYT best-seller list. Then they print a SECOND run of their book, which is technically a best seller, with a new cover. 📚

[@katanabluejay]

>"EFAP Highlights" >3 hours long Seems about right

[@robertbeisert3315]

Unless MauLer's skipping them, Stuckman skipped the bit where he lists age ratings. Wouldn't wanna take my small child to see an R-rated horror film or something. Probably would have added 15 pages, too.

[@AnimeAftermath]

I knew Stuckmann was a shill when he interviewed Colin Trevorrow and then went easy on The Book of Henry.

[@rileyjfosbre6383]

1:48:40 Actually, the full rule is “i before e, except after c, and when sounding like eh in a neighboring way, and on weekends and holidays, and you’ll always be wrong no matter what you say!” It’s a rough rule.

[@techMan_25]

Now how do youvmake a word a plural?

[@rileyjfosbre6383]

@@techMan_25 you add an “s” on the end, unless- [REDACTED] - and I’m not sure why it’s “geese”, since “moose” is spelled the same way, singular or plural, kind of like “sheep”. Wait, what?

[@NikoJr.]

Nice Brian Regan reference

[@redlink8734]

When Marnie was there is a Studio Ghibli movie. It's a suprise it got brought up its generally viewed on the lower half of the Ghibli list compared to stuff like Castle of Cagliostro or My neighbor Totoro

[@TheAutistWhisperer]

It's a shame because Chris did a video on Angel's Egg, a film I never heard of, suffice to say I watched and it became one of my favourite Anime films.

[@MysteriousStranger42]

That happened to me also and I’ve only seen a few videos by him. Angels Egg was great!

[@FlorisDVijfde]

His video on Angel's Egg is terrible. He is in absolute awe of all the symbolism thrown in without having a clue. He truly almost never explains what actually IS good about a film.

[@TheAutistWhisperer]

@@FlorisDVijfde It's why I was never fan of Chris, I give him credit for making me aware of Angel's Egg, but after watching the film myself I realise he had a very shallow understanding of it.

[@FlorisDVijfde]

@@TheAutistWhisperer Ditto regarding Perfect Blue. But he can't really convince. He doesn't explain why Cowboy Bebop is good for example.So I'm left wondering if I should watch that because why...

[@asarishepard8171]

I learned about that one from bennett the sage, stuckman probably copied his review.

[@NIMPAK1]

I love how they act like Studio Ghibli films of all things are like some super obscure choice. I can't wait until the EFAP crew discover other obscure films such as Akira and Ghost in the Shell.

[@kaykutcher2103]

I will say that out of all of these hardly obscure films those may be the ones people are more likely to ignore because, A) subtitles, and B) animated. Lots of folks don't like reading and think you need to outgrow animation. I have a cousin who refuses to watch B/W movies and explained why just about as well as Stuckman explains himself.

[@52BLUE]

@@kaykutcher2103 if you ignore films because they are subtitled, animated and / or black & white, then you’re an idiot 🤷‍♂️

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

​@kaykutcher2103 Studio Ghibli got dubs and distribution by Disney. Now, sure, there's all sorts of arguments about dub vs sub, but at least the dub existing means subtitles aren't the barrier to entry they'd otherwise be.

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

I love how you think "obscurity" means quality...do you really think "real film criticism" means obscurity, because that is the most subhuman, pseudo intellectual, deficient thing someone can possibly say...the fact that you are allowed to speak: you should feel lucky you're not forced off the planet

[@SamDavies94]

One of the things that I find common across a lot of KZbin 'critics' is that many of them have a very limited appreciation of cinema other than the Hollywood mainstream. I remember years ago I watched several 'my blu ray collection' videos from a number of people on the platform. Many of them had less than 10 international releases... I unsubbed years ago...

[@eddiehjalmarsson5966]

No wonder he adores Roger Ebert. His reviews were also very basic and superficial.

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

So what isn't basic and superficial??? One of the best reviewers in film history??? I think you are just subhuman in your retardation 😂😂😂

[@BioTheRebel]

Two things that drove me off his reviews back then: 1: he also reviewed Jurassic World the same year as TFA and complained that it was ‘’supposedly’’ identical to the first Jurassic Park, while NEVER admitting that TFA was a carbon copy of New Hope…… 2: later on he absolutely shat all over Rogue One saying it was one of the worse SW movies….. I can’t with that man…

[@adam.e.nowakowski]

Ha! Same thing happened to me. Stuckmann fell for memberberries and named TFA his favorite movie of 2015, but then he tried to be ahead of the curve with Rogue One and accused the movie of being just another Phantom Menace that people will turn against as soon as they see beyond the nostalgia. This guy has the worst takes.

[@neilwiththereeldeel]

he didn't shit all over Rogue One at all...he actually said it was good but he didn't care about the characters...it's the shit like you that bash Stuckmann and shows how little you know about anything and how he is the one who is at least a good general purpose reviewer...why don't you get off this planet for existing, let alone speaking

[@VaporeonEnjoyer1]

Well, at least he got one right with "Spirited Away".

[@The90sDoggo]

Now everyone can get Stuckmanized with his terrible book! even your children! XD

[@dermotbresnehan6836]

"Hello, Child Protection Services..."

[@lordofthepizzapie9319]

Hello I'm Chris Hansen, why don't you take a seat...

[@DoYouFearTheBeanMan]

Even your dog!

[@DoYouFearTheBeanMan]

Even your dog!

[@robertbeisert3315]

"Hiddel Subbledies" about Signs? I haven't seen it, and I still knew all that!

[@Nightstalker314]

Out of the late 2000s/early 2010s YT movie reviewer crowd Jeremy Jahns has aged the best. He has a much better understanding of good movie making than most of his "competition" that constantly toot their horn about it. I would not throw RLM into this because these guys matured before using YT as a platform for reviews and avoided all that parasocial cult of celebrity culture of presenting yourself as a product with a catch-phrase and such.

[@mrcliff3709]

Yeah I liked Jeremy over Chris. And while I haven't regularly watch his videos I still watch his dogshit reviews for a good laugh

[@Fraulein_Sausageball]

“What is myrrh, anyway?” “It is a valuable balm.” “A bomb?! Why would you give a baby a bomb?!"

[@SoloBruh1]

As a 28 year old who's held 2 jobs a majority of my working life, I e seen all of the movies listed and more. And honestly there are several lesser known movies that would fit a bucket list much better.

[@ShaneAddinall]

My first movie theater experience was watching ET. Six year old me was awestruck.

[@Ravenscroft82]

How does this guy get away with NEVER SAYING ANYTHING? Who's the audience for this? Meanwhile, tons of insightful YTers struggle to get subscribers; this is the world we live in now.

[@johnconstantine1130]

His life was changed by a bad cable movie 😂😂😂😂😂

[@LOKITYZ]

Chris Stuckmann just comes across to me as someone who's, well, simple. He doesn't seem very bright and lacks self-awareness. His reviews, even his old ones, lack any meaningful depth or insight. He isn't particularly witty nor does he have any real charm. The algorithm just favored him, probably because he was one of the earliest movie reviewers on KZbin. He's just some basic dude. What's baffling is that he sees himself as more than that. Jeremy Jahns presents himself obviously as some average dude who watches movies and he actually has some charm. Chris on the other hand, seems like he takes himself more seriously and sees himself a kind of film expert. His attempt at rewriting BvS is a strong example to shows this, and was the point I decided to finally stop following him. He shared it initially as an attempt to improve on the movie, but when he got roasted for how bad it was, he played it off as some kind of fun little thing he barely spent any time on; just as some kind of joke. Then there's the whole RLM drama where he acted like a baby. Like, the words he was saying in the video about not being offended were completely contradicting the fact that he made the video and even the statements he actually made in the video. How he wasn't able to notice this shows how simple his mind is and how he lacks self-awareness. And I recall a video review he made of a movie focused on black issues which I don't remember; could be either 12 Years a Slave or Get Out, but he had to point out that he's down with black culture and has black friends, while showing a photo of him being the sole white person in a group of black people. It wasn't even done in a comedic way, he just talked about it and showed the picture in a matter of fact way. And the list goes on up until current day with the whole Madame Web fiasco. It just reeks of someone who is simple and lacks nuance and tact. A rude way of concluding what I'm trying to say is that he doesn't seem really smart. Sometime, it even seems like he's kind of slow. But he believes that he's smarter than he actually is. That his opinions hold more value than they actually do.

[@viddykhaos2896]

Tell that to Zod’s snapped neck.

[@FlorisDVijfde]

All spot on. He is not special in any conceivable way. He happens to have (had?) a superhot girlfriend (she read Twilight for him)...she must have seen something in Chris and I can't imagine she is satisfied with what he's become if they're still together. He's never bothered to step up his game because he never had to. Someone with more passion would have added more value regardless of success. Narcicissm is today's most common disorder. Dunning Krueger effect means the mediocre consider themselves very smart while the true smarties don't. These are the people that are tumbling over each other to shout how brilliant they think Nolan's latest high concept film was ("look at how smart I am I understood it all" i.e. "I didn't see the gaping plotholes"). Clearly he is a virtue signaler regarding showing black friends. There are people with high intelligence but low consciousness. In case of Chris, both are low. Which is fine. Just don't be a pretentious movie critic. The market can solve Chris Stuckmann..mostly.. He'll still have his YT views and pay the rent with his dispassionate content but most people will prefer Jeremy Jahns, Drinker or Oliver Harper. All of those have more value to offer.

[@viddykhaos2896]

@@FlorisDVijfde I will admit that I am a Nolan fan. I just enjoy his films - but will never pretend they are near to flawless. I simply derive enjoyment from them, mostly due to them being the prominent western films I watch with my mother that she actually wants to watch, so there is a personal connection. But anyhow, you are absolutely correct. Stuckmann has little to no self awareness of that fact that he is not as intelligent as he believes himself to be. A good critic is honest about his own limitations and biases, and Chris rarely does that.

[@FlorisDVijfde]

@awhellnah__ Was he rich when he reviewed Twilight? Remotely famous? I doubt it but don't know how much these tubers make. I have always used YT adblockers and assumed most people would as wel...

[@politefan8141]

@@FlorisDVijfde When seeking out content creators on film, I'm not necessarily looking for an "expert" on filmmaking, just someone with similar tastes to mine who is authentic and can express themselves with confidence and humor.

[@katyavinogradova7688]

I saw the video cover and was genuinely terrified that Stuckman has written a children's book! Kids have enough crap to deal with- they don't need to get Stuckmanised on top of that.

[@malboroman5120]

Dude put force awakens on a film bucket list.

[@johnramos8703]

That’s fine on a 1000 deep list but force awakens as one of your 50 must watch to have a good life is wiiiild

[@DoktorSammich]

Good lord, Chris' writing here wouldn't pass my 9th grade L.A. class.

[@Vario69]

Ah, yes, Arwen, the third most important character in LotR, closely followed by a Rohirrim rider # 1304

[@zGamerGodz]

i think what he was going for with the ''start the popcorn'' line was that you start it now as you read the book so you have popcorn ready to grab for the must watch film you will start watching immediately after reading his recommendation and review.

[@APileofSecrets]

9:35 "My love of movies turned into the art of film"? 🤔🤨😑 I presume he means, "My love of movies turned me on to the love of filmmaking."📽🎬🎞 This is what happens when you turn over your copywriting work to an intern whose first language is not English.🤦‍♂️

[@The_Laughing_Cavalier]

The Chronicles of Stuckmann: The Factor_, The Filmmaker and the Christmas Cracker Crown

[@mccor002]

They gave us half an hour of drunk Hit and Run for listening to 3 hours of Stuckmann. As a treat

[@theredmachete5877]

What people should understand is that...Stuckman deserves this. He is the one who wanted to elevate himself above others to be a film critic instead of just a film guy. Stuckman was the one with the pompous attitude and wanted to make money off this while others who offer way more get less. These people are doing an excellent job of showing why stuckmann is bad . He's getting actual critique...and anybody not on board is defending someone who is actually hurting film . Keep rocking guys. Watch the video from fury of the film fan, you'll see stuckmann has a history of bad moves with people . He deserves the hate

[@jeremyusreevu237]

And his rabid fanbase will defend his every move, because Chris validates their toxic positivity.

[@CarlSlime]

Imagine Anthony Fantano releasing "THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO THE BEST MUSIC TO LISTEN TO BEFORE YOU CROAK" and it's a list full of Taylor Swift, Drake, The Weeknd, Olivia Rodrigo.

[@eros5420]

The only thing that reminds me of time passing while I listen to EFAP is the tearing of my sore ass. Which is one of the only things that brings me joy in life.

[@SigmaBenLinus]

The ending of Lost is incredible and Jar Jar Abrams wasn't involved in the show past the early part of season 1, which is why the ending is so great

[@wojak-sensei6424]

Imagine having to write a book about movies you'd want to watch in your lifetime and you made the equivalent of a WatchMojo video in print form. See, when you'd say to me what's my "film buff's bucket list", I'd think of movies that have some sort of interesting ideas behind them that I wouldn't see anywhere else. It won't be a list of perfect 10/10 critically and commercially approved movies, but somewhere along the lines of abstract experimental pieces in foreign times and countries, mix it with some obscure indie films by plucky directors, and put it alongside the pop culture behemoths I simply love from the bottom of my heart. My point here is that this list doesn't feel personalized or speaks something about the author itself. It's as bland of a list as a Google search result. And this is something I can never truly get with Chris Stuckmann. He's insistent on telling everyone he's passionate about the art of filmmaking, but rarely shows that passion in a meaningful way. He blows hot air with the enthusiasm of a ChatGPT session, without contributing anything informative about the movie or about his opinion of it.

[@_Dovar_]

A full 3 hour (and 1 minute) long highlight. That never gets boring.

[@marine1988marine]

2:40:48 While Mauler is reciting Memento bit in Stuckmanns voice, the character in game says 'This is not good for my insurance'. Perfect.

[@greatgoatsby3068]

He truly cares about the bookmaker experience.

[@zardox78]

The thing is "solider" is actually a word (that doesn't sound like it should be), so spellcheck wouldn't have helped him on that one. Grammar check might've. Or, ya know, a proofreader like _real_ books get. I'm guessing this was a self-published affair and he just did his own "proofreading" on the fly.

[@DrachonaTheWolf]

Genuinely, I'd be more interested to see a movie about pod racing than a movie about anything established in the sequel trilogy.

[@callmeviper7723]

Let’s not forget this fruit came out as “Pansexual” a few years ago.

[@coltonwilkie241]

Well I hope the wife washes the pans extra well now

[@stijnvandenheuvel8117]

Hi Wolf, hope you're doing well. I was wondering whether you would be willing to put the original EFAP episode number jn the title of the highlights. It would make it both easier to find a highlight, and to know whether you've seen the original episode.

[@awcxy]

its in the video description

[@stijnvandenheuvel8117]

@awcxy I know, but I have to click on the video to see descriptions, and seeing as I mostly watch KZbin on my phone, that would mean having to click off whatever I might have been watching to see what the upload is from.

[@jamesstranack2233]

his one Studio Ghibli movie is When Marnie Was There. one of their worst movies.

[@DoYouFearTheBeanMan]

And since this book was released in 2016, he could have said any from Spirited Away to Marnie. My pick would be The Wind Rises for many reasons, not least of which being its semi-autobiographical nature for Miyazaki, and even Hideaki Anno (who voiced Horikoshi).

[@erikbartlam7377]

I know this is old but the idea that Empire Strikes Back was poorly received Is ludicrous. I was there for it. Cant believe anybody’s gotten away with this for longer than it took to come out of their mouth.

[@3choblast3r4]

I used to like that dude's "hilarocity" reviews. It was just some goofy mormon dude talking about bad movies. Something to put on, on the background. But he found some youtube success and believes it can help him realize his dream of making a hollywood movie. So he stopped all his criticism, the only thing anyone watched him for. Also 170 pages is barely a novella. Let alone a book.

[@blackdragoncyrus]

This was a Solider highlight.

[@TaoScribble]

I'm confused as to why this is a book and not a blog/video.

[@FourOf92000]

"Evans's" is allowed, preferred even, in highly formal contexts, since "Evans" isn't a plural that said a Chris Stuckmann non-review of _The Winter Solider_ [sic] is not the right context, so yeah it's a style error

[@lyndog]

The mini-discussion on this was annoying me, having read a writing style guide not that long ago. It's acceptable style for a possessive from what I recall. E.g. I crashed into Chris Evans's car. But not for talking about the Evans family in the plural. It can feel a bit irksome to read though, and other style guides like the Penguin Guide to Punctuation, also suggest omitting the s after the ' when you'd not pronounce it. Which is probably the most sensible way to write. I know that between, Evans's performance vs Evans' performance, I find the latter easier to read.

[@FourOf92000]

@@lyndog I distinctly remember reading a style guide written by a newspaper editor, and he said that it depended on the writing's formality-in (say) academic writing, it helps to be too correct by half, but in a news article, it comes across as clunky that said, a thing that more than one Evans owns is Evanses' in print

[@hermannlagrange803]

Chris cannot evolve as a writer. That is why they call him Stuckmann.

[@Elfenlied8675309]

RAIN ASSAULTS THE GROUND

[@TCook-d3s]

Empire Strikes Back was anticipated and loved back in the day. I was there and can confirm that the rumors are BS.

[@Whackalope]

I would genuinely love for yall to write the book Rags’s’s’s described. I feel like it would not only make for entertaining AND informative reading, but would definitely help fund future EFAPS. Please consider “Every Page A Pause”!

[@mariokarter13]

"When Marnie Was There" Of all the Ghibli movies, why that one? And it came out in 2014. Spirited Away is already on the list, so either swap it for Howl's Moving Castle or break the date range even further with Your Name.

[@DVFHAFYT]

So he put the last samurai over dances with wolves, says everything about him.

[@sparkycjs]

2000s onwards movies (otherwise it'd be an even more normified list)

[@HCSR2]

Stuckmanize me, Longman!

[@sankharaYT]

I actually bought a used copy of the book off ebay after that EFAP. As expected, it is gloriously vapid! 😂 Thought about doing a 'readings from the book' video with different chapters but honestly, that would still just be ripping off EFAP. In any case, I highly 'recommend' the book. 🤓

[@lumskull1084]

I’d actually watch the shit outta that video tbh. It would be hilarious, do some silly voices like yoda or zoidberg and I’d gladly watch that in a heartbeat because that would be more entertaining and add more value then the book can do😂

[@Pink.andahalf]

Do it, read the whole thing.

[@NoahSprague]

I love that the rest of the vid is just Mauler and metal black out drunk😅

[@hopegalaxy]

Why does he still have 2 million subs?

[@sadeknight9112]

I’ve always understood it as if a singular noun ends in “s” and is possessive it’s “‘s” and if it’s plural possessive that ends in “s” you just add the apostrophe. For example; the foxes’ beds are beneath Chris Evans’s house. You don’t pronounce foxes and foxes’ differently. You wouldn’t say the foxes’s fur nor Chris Evans car. The one exception is Rags’s’s’s’s’s’s Edit: I absolutely pronounce it Marvel Studios’s The Avengers. Marvel Studios Avengers doesn’t convey possession.

[@marcwilliams9824]

Nope. Should be Chris Evans' House or Marvel Studios'...

[@Horvath_Gabor]

@@marcwilliams9824 Nope, OP is correct. It's not even a really obscure rule or anything, you regularly see it everywhere. The only tricky one is the Marvel Studios one, because "Studios" is technically plural, but "Marvel Studios" is a singular entity. Because it's ambiguous, I'd say that one can go either way, but if it's a singular noun ending with "s", you can absolutely tag on the apostrophe-s possessive.

[@marcwilliams9824]

@@Horvath_Gabor Are you suggesting that if, for example, a single bus has red paint then writing "the bus' paint is red" is incorrect? Or are you saying both bus' and bus's are acceptable?

[@Horvath_Gabor]

@@marcwilliams9824 "Bus" is a singular noun. Therefore, bus's is the grammatically correct one. If we were talking about the paint of multiple such vehicles, then it would be "the buses' paint is red" instead. Let me give you a counter-example, that shows why this is meaningful. You know what a "bus" is, and so you know it refers to a single thing that ends with the letter s, but what if it's something you have no idea about? Let's say, I write a message on the door of your room to tell you there is something dangerous inside saying, "Look out for the flubberboos's bite!" You, naturally, have no idea what that is, and so you have no idea if it's a singular or a plural noun. Maybe it's plural, and its singular is "flubberboo", or maybe I'm talking about multiple flubberboos and their gaping maws, but you can't know for sure. However, you can take a closer look, and see the apostrophe-s at end, which tells you that this is a singular thing, and therefore you know that you are only threatened by a single fluffy yet deadly predator. Simple, isn't it?

[@Horvath_Gabor]

@@marcwilliams9824 I see your posts keep getting shadowbanned, but I can see a bit of them, and based on that, I'd say this might a be a british vs. american english disagreement.