Effective Communication Skills Training: The Five Love Languages... "Quality time"

[@eyasworld13]

I'm so excited you're going over the Love Languages! I read Chapman's book back in 2009, and quality time is also my love language. You're absolutely right about how it makes us feel when we think we're getting ignored. I can't wait to watch your other videos!

[@poonyaTara]

I helped a very little bit with material and editing of one of the books in the love languages series, and one of the things we weren't supposed to talk about is that (1) everyone needs to receive love in every language, (2) the language we crave to receive love in as an adult is the language we received love in the least as a child, and (3) people who are defined in the book as bilingual will feel like you're being insincere if you say you love them in only one of their love languages. This information is so key that I hate, hate, hate that none of it was included in the entire book series.

[@ladyamba1]

OMG! Thank you so much! Very valuable info - I too have the love language of giving. Now I understand that you must speak to people in THEIR love language, also!

[@mindyvaughn8217]

You are Brilliant! These lesions really help me in every area of my life. My career was Gerontology Case Management and I wish I had been able to access this info then. I spent over 20 yrs in the field after getting my Masters. Many times I was "Getting By" just on my intuition. I was diagnosed 7 years ago with 2 Auto Immune Diseases and kept fighting to work because that was fulfilling to me and felt more like a mission than a job. Unfortunately I had to go on disability which has made me feel worthless. This feeling was exacerbated by My Husband leaving me after 21 years of Marriage after I got sick. I am 51 and have seen a job opening for a part time position with a Christian Non Profit. I feel I must send my resume. But everyone in my life says "Your not able", "You might loose your disability", etc. I don't want to feel like I failed if I happen to get it and then am unable to do the Job. I know I could be in denial about how bad my conditions are but I still have this burning desire in my heart and gut to do this work. I have said all this to ask you about my cover letter. I'm not sure how much to say, how to explain my 7 year absence from my career. I want to be upfront but am uncertain how to proceed. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for the work you do and for making the world a better place with it. Mindy Vaughn [e-mail]

[@MissWhitneyCouture]

Excited for this series! 👍

[@reconditeband]

You are great! Thank you for all of the new information to help me on a day to day basis. I'll recommend you to my friends.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Steven Perret Thanks much Steven; I appreciate it. Dan

[@MelissaJMJ]

Never thought of this. Going to work on all my relationships with family and friends. Thank you.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

NO, thank YOU LivinginJMJ.

[@rosettascott1803]

Thanks Dan! Loved that! its so vital to all our relationships.

[@2creationstories485]

That picture in the background crooked or just a a camera angle . Great video very educational. and that's Skelton voodoo doll looking thing freaks me out.

[@valerieramirez8736]

wow great video! This is the best explanation of quality time that I've heard and I love the example with you and your brother that is so beautiful! I can't wait to start applying this in my life thank you

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad it was helpful, Val. Please continue watching and searching my channel for videos such as this one.

[@valerieramirez8736]

@@TheWizardOfWords absolutely!

[@MartinOConnorDavies]

I think I know this brother you speak of and I would concur with your sentiments

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Martin O'Connor Yes, you resemble that remark.

[@AnalystAyi]

Awww

[@lisasays6174]

Thank you for making this video! Its a great addition to the online resource your videos provide for others :) Im looking forwArd to the rest of this series and your thoughts on the other 4 love languages :)

[@adrianj3903]

Thanks so much!

[@TheWaterParrot]

Hey Dan, I am a big fan of you I've listened some of your videos like thousand times while I am working. It's a big surprise hearing that you are living in Ajijic as I am mexican and I live in GDL so I wonder if you are planing to give any sort of seminar or course about communication skills, if so, could you point me out where I can find more info about it? Thank you

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Mary Varillas Hi Mary: Yes, I am based in Guadalalajara, Ajijic, and Fargo ND throughout the year. I don't give public seminars anymore, but I give a great many training sessions onsite at businesses or government offices in the United States, and would be happy to do the same thing in Mexico. So just talk to your boss and I'll shoot a proposal to you! (Communication, customer service, dealing with difficult people--and of course much more, as you know from the KZbin clips.) Shoot a forms message from danoconnortraining.com sometime. Dan

[@howardkoor2796]

Insightful!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

+Howard Koor Thank you Howard, and please continue commenting-- and be sure to like and share. Dan

[@howardkoor2796]

+Online Communication Skills Training Videos with Dan O'Connor Yes, I sure will...

[@avaava8976]

Great for parenting!

[@lisag3359]

How can I find out the love language of the mean people in my office?

[@QueenMary79]

I love your lessons, thank you for them. Yet, how might I get my spouse to learn my language? He is not receptive to advice. He becomes defensive when I explain the languages and how I speak (love, respect etc). I feel as though I'm struggling to be heard, respected and loved. He states that he is happy, in love and has no issues with me or our relationship, and that it's all in my head. I feel lonely, disrespected often, ignored often and unloved. Ex: my Father passed away this Monday. I asked him to please be here for me, help me, hold me and go to the service with me. I was completely alone to see my fathers body and arrange for the cremation. He chose to work. Now I've arranged the service with family, transportation and lodging. I asked him to drive us and be there with me. He seen it as a way he can still work, drop in for the service and leave. I'm hurting in so many ways! Then I thought maybe he thinks that by him working he can help by bringing in money. I told him it's him I need right now, not the money. Now he's being passive aggressive and ignoring me. What do I do?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Mary Brown Mary, I wish I could help you, but this is not my field. Please, please seek a marriage counselor, even if your husband will not go with you. Clearly your issues are causing you pain and you feel you're not being heard. Please seek help right now. Your example was gut-wrenching. You ended your message with "What do I do?" You seek counsel from a professional, and you seek it NOW. (Yes, the repetition was deliberate.) My best wishes go with you Mary. Dan

[@ADevotionalHeart]

Dan I have a question, unrelated to this video but wondering if you can help. I've watched the following interaction and wonder if you have any experience with this. What do you do when you are talking to someone who has a tendency to become insecure if you don't agree with them, who then questions you in an aggressive manner to try to put you into a self-doubting state of mind so that they can feel like they have control over the situation. Does that make sense? This person has a history in sales and learned that if you can just keep asking the other person questions it makes them sound like they don't really know what they are talking about it, makes them feel like they have to justify their position, and just keeps breaking down their confidence. :( Like for instance: "Well isn't your child's safety important to you? Well then why wouldn't you want to buy xyz? But you said that your child's safety is important to you, so now you are not making any sense!"... this person uses this tactic in their relationship. So what would the other person do (besides yelling - STOP ASKING ME THESE QUESTIONS!) thanks Dan!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Starlit Nest, I would use "Why would you ask me that?" And whatever he/she answers, say "That's interesting, tell me more." When the person tells you more, either keep repeating "That's interesting, tell me more" or just nod knowingly when you've exhausted "That's interesting, tell me more." (You're just letting them talk; that's all you're doing.) If the person persists ad nauseum, start using the broken record "I see it differently" no matter what he/she is saying. You'll notice that at no time do you answer the person's questions, because your answer is the reward sought, and you don't want to reward the questioner. You want that person to cease, and when it's clear you're not playing this sales game--you're not answering a barrage of questions, the person will stop because--what gets rewarded gets repeated, and what does NOT get rewarded won't (eventually) be repeated. Hope this helps. Dan

[@ADevotionalHeart]

Thank you so much

[@norxcontacts]

Five languages in five minutes, next video.