FIRST CHINESE TAKEAWAY - CHALLENGING ANOREXIA - YET ANOTHER BREAKDOWN - CHRISTMAS FOOD SHOP

[@jojocanon2803]

Am I the only one that absolutely adores mommy? What a wonderful mother. You're a lucky girl, elzani! There's no way you cannot succeed with a family like that. Big fan of you and your lovely fam! Merry Christmas!

[@samphillips7192]

Your mummy is amazing! So are you all! xx

[@paigee1687]

Your challenging yourself, the cheesecake, the noodles. Your sister seems to really push you and challenge you but also make you feel safe whilst doing it Lovely to see

[@Maisie.Meehan]

I have to say, I'm really glad you have your sister. For me that kind of tough love really blunt talk from my family really helped me to get out of the worst of my ED; a lot better than coddling.

[@simplybored685]

XFabuMazX I’m glad because I’m an only child and finding it so hard to recover but she’s managing cuz she has support❤️

[@jessxox4612]

ღsimply Boredღ I hope your doing good now!💓

[@toandeathrandomer]

Don’t worry about if we will be impressed or not ... you can do this darling , you really can , get some meat down you too , it’s ok to eat and allow yourself to eat and extra hunger is so normal in recovery , you will stop eating , and in time your appetite will return to normal ... keep going keep pushing through , you need to eat more , you need more calories than your mum or your sisters as hard as that is to hear , and you probably need more calories than anyone else in your house . , try watching some other anorexia recovery vlogs , I think you will be shocked with what you eat in comparison with what they eat , you are doing well but I think you need more support in your recovery. Keep it up !

[@impuriia]

Solidsilenceful and anorexia causes death. Right now is not the time to be talking about diseases that could potentially scare her out of recovery.

[@WrathOfAthena]

Solidsilenceful She needs any and all food. Comments like yours feed EDs.

[@ninotaurus9787]

I usually don't comment, (because I'm very shy) but I wanted to tell you that I really enjoy seeing you smile. It genuienly makes me smile too.

[@jettestehr676]

I usually don't comment either but I wanted to tell you that you seem extremely cute and adorable

[@SH-to8sh]

yeah she has a tremendously happy smile lol

[@teainortakoy]

her smile makes me happy too.

[@lauradowling1604]

You don’t make it a big deal your Ed does . Keep challenging yourself ! I’m glad you have lots of love and touch love!

[@rebeccagriffin2515]

I actually cried with you. The struggle is real. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless they've been there. Massive love and hugs. Keep going, keep fighting, keep challenging those voices xxx

[@Lgeezie1995]

I don’t have Anorexia but still find your vlogs really entertaining. I’m 33, married and work in corporate America yet despite not having much in common, I still find your journey really interesting. Keep it up.

[@burnedflowers141]

Lol corporate america how have you retained your soul 😂😂

[@ChaaaaaarOx]

You talking about your ideal self (being heavier, with a bum & filling out a dress) is such a positive thinking process, it’s shows that you’re actually coming round to the possibility of you being healthy. You’re making such great changes & you should be proud. Recovery is always a slow process but you’re really pushing yourself & that alone is commendable. I hope you’re having a good Christmas 💞

[@ekli9]

Your sister is right, you need a strong voice of reason

[@Abs-pe9zo]

Elzani it’s crazy how good you’re doing for a recovering anorexic, you’re so amazing keep up the great work, we all support you!!!!! Xxxxxs

[@awkwarditaliangirl8419]

You should work on stopping your smelling tic. You smell every bite before you put it in your mouth, it’s a technique you must have used to fend off hunger

[@awkwarditaliangirl8419]

I’m aware, I eat food... but I don’t smell everything I put in my mouth, I just eat it!!!

[@awkwarditaliangirl8419]

I used to have anorexia.... but I’ve recovered.... not a brag, just I can’t sit around smelling my food, or I just wouldn’t eat it because most of my comfort from the experience of food (like most people)

[@xox_.bell._xox.singing_8119]

she has over come smelling it now if you look at her new account , she’s so much healthier , i’m recovering and she’s doing amazing

[@jiajcho]

Alisha is so so right.. you’re so lucky to have a sister like her to help you

[@elinebottenberg4396]

"people want to be your friends" TRUEEEE

[@samphillips7192]

Absolutely! Elzani you ARE amazing! i would to know you in real life! You are an inspiration and show people they can come out the other side from an ED!!!

[@ivyivy9807]

This girl deserves a hell of a lot more subscribers! Shes as real as your get, great personality and her family is lovely 😊

[@marieouertatani5225]

It is awesome how you are documenting your recovery, you will look back at it in the future and you will be proud of how well you did and how strong you have gotten. Keep going and you will be a healthier individual. It is hard going through an eating disorder but remembers that you have control over your body and your thoughts and that it is okay if you don't sometimes, but as time goes you will gain back complete control.

[@ashleysutton7077]

Its amazing how you can literally see the eating disorder take over elzani with fear and anger at dinner time. But it really is even more amazing to see you push through and fight it because you knew what you needed to do. Proud of you

[@meganpayne775]

Broke my heart watching you cry. I can almost physically see the battle you’re having with your ed voice and your true voice. Keep fighting... ❤️

[@MayimHastings]

Elzani, I have extreme juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and I used to beat myself up over a little meltdown from pain. I thought I ruined everybody’s day. I’ve since learned that a little meltdown is nothing. What’s important isn’t the meltdown, it’s what you do AFTERWARD that counts. Dont worry about impressing us or anyone else! You are the one that has to live in your body. I don’t want you to hurt later like I hurt from arthritis, and that is a real possibility unless you nourish yourself. I have such a special place in my heart for you and pray for you to find joy in yourself. You are a superhero in my eyes. Not because you are always successful - no disease is a success only journey - but because of your spirit through it all. You are a fighter, even if you don’t always feel like one because you ARE still here. Big hugs and immense love to you and your loving family and a merry Christmas 🎄

[@Trickshotfame]

The way your sisters support you at 29:20 and how your mum smiles of how proud she is to have three lovely daughters, put tears in my eyes. They encourage you to not feel ashamed to eat how much you want to eat. And often put themselves in a rut before you to save you from a breakdown... that’s love 🌷💖⭐️

[@erinstewart2610]

I literally love you sm, your a real life inspiration and we’re all here to support you. Merry Christmas!

[@jasminehammond1396]

I have watched all your recent videos, and decided to watch an older one. The difference between you now compared to here is outstanding. You have come so far it is evident you have worked so so hard. I know you still have far to go, but I know you can do it x Keep going Elzani, you can beat this! xx

[@cezalexandraw6613]

You’re incredibly strong, I’ve been on and off struggling from eating disorders, anxiety and depression for years. I am now a healthy weight. Although I have days where I feel like giving up it is so much better. I can’t stress it enough that recovering is so so worth it, you are worth it. Keep going gorgeous. You are amazing and have so many people supporting you. Keep at it gal. Wish you and your family a great Christmas with lots of foooood! Xxx

[@misscritter4038]

The fact that you're so aware of where you are speaks to your progress. I can see you're making changes. It's good to be challenged, it's good to be proud of yourself too. Just KNOW that NO ONE thinks about your eating or your food even HALF as much as you do...& that's my solemn promise!❤

[@kellinka]

It breaks my heart to see you cry. You looked so happy and full of joy in the beginning. Don't worry so much about your subscribers being impressed or not. Even tiny baby steps matter. You're doing really good, I am proud of you! I send you much love and strength, you deserve happiness.

[@kaylan9977]

i feel like i’m watching myself when i watch your videos. you’re a constant reminder how rewarding recovery can be.keep doing what you’re doing!

[@markgajic9455]

As soon as you started eating, it seemed like you were so much more present, and getting on with it. Try not to overthink it. Copy your family, your mum, your sisters... don't overanalyze, don't think about what you had before, what you'll have later, how you can please people, just don't think. It doesn't need to be complicated, and the more you do it, the easier it will get, to the point where it will be automatic. It will be a while before you get there, but one day you won't need to ask for reassurance with each bite, but if it's what gets you through now, that's what you need to do. Keep going, I know it's hard, but you have an amazing support system, and we're all behind you too. You can do this.

[@Zzzzzzzz41]

Elzani, you are one of my favourite youtubers! I love watching your family be so real with you. I just want to share some bits of advice with you: You have that feeling like you want to start eating and never stop because thats your bodies NATURAL response. Hold your breathe for 30 seconds. Right after your going to be gasping and breathing heavily to catch all the air that you didnt breathe!! Its the same with calories, your body is going to do everything it can to get you to eat. All you should do is listen. Real recovery is eating through the pain. You will feel full and bloated but guess what, it will pass and you carry on. Just imagine youve been given a ticket to eat whatever you like. Please please please just take your foot off the brake a little. I KNOW how hard it is, iv been there and i still get lingering thoughts. But the way i see it is that each day you make a CHOICE. Just carry on restricting and fearing food or EAT everything your sisters/mum eat. LIVE. The other thing i wanted to say is that recovery and eating more starts to awaken your hormones and emotions. Thats why you might feel extra emotional and have all these heightened feelings. Its totally normal just keep going girl. I dont know if your religious but i pray to god that you stay on the right path and stay strong. Wishing you a lovely christmas! Even if you dont do as well as you want on christmas its just a day. What really matters is being consistent every day AFTER christmas. 2019 is the year that you flourish, i promise. Keep your focus on yourself not what everyone thinks and whether “they” believe that you ate a chocolate or not. By “they” do you mean your viewers? I am one of your viewers and i dont specifically care about the minute details of what you ate, i want you to be eating regularly and consistently and most importantly enjoying it when you can. Sending love xxxx

[@larlutm]

Tren Owen I’m sorry for this ridiculously late reply, but just wanted to say what an absolutely lovely and helpful comment you wrote to the wonderful Elzani! And also to thank you because your kindness and wise words have helped me too 😊 wishing you health and happiness! 🕺🕺🕺xxx

[@zataeriksson3474]

If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you

[@jaclyntina621]

I feel like anxiety is a big part of eating disorders but your anxiety just sends you through the roof when you freak out. I definitely can relate, I can see the constant anxiety symptoms you're dealing with. That's probably a big whiplash in your recovery because your mind believes food is the enemy (even though its delicious) so its a constant battle of panic and overwhelming bodily functions when you're presented with food. My recovery was 80% based on gaining control of my anxiety and OCD and the rest followed. Obviously, we are all different but has anyone out there taken control of their ED with CBT (like Elzani is) but really focused on their anxiety first? Elzani, you're doing amazingly! I wish we all weren't so hard on ourselves. Keep up the good work x

[@ohmeandmybigideas]

You are taking huge strides elzani, from where you have come from. You might not be where you want to be but that doesn’t happen overnight. Like my therapist says to me, if you can improve by 1% everyday then you’ve improved 100% in 100 days. I believe in you!

[@insanebeautyshell]

I was literally so impressed Elzani, I thought you weren't going to add the noodles but I was smiling so wide when you did and you ate it all!

[@eh7303]

I would literally move to England to help you with overcoming this. I love to see you try and eat whatever you feel like but I feel like at the end of the meal and when you’re alone it’s all those extra thoughts that weigh you down. Elzani, you’re going great! If you’d like to have someone to speak to we’re here, and I’m here too! 💕💙

[@christie8822]

You have a great mom and family! Your sister is just worried about you hun❤️ just keep showing to yourself and them you can do it! You can change anything in life beautiful and you can change how you think. Please don’t let the bad thoughts win. You can do this. I have big faith in you. 💕 keep going even if it hurts . Because I promise you, when you get to your goal. You will be so proud of yourself!

[@lolaaumaytez6223]

It’s amazing that you’ve got such a supportive yet straight talking family ! 💗

[@briannawagner1497]

I just want to hug you. I watched my friend struggle for years with an eating disorder, you’re not alone.

[@annamay1629]

When I see you cry it absolutely breaks my heart, people do care, you’re doing amazing and I hope things get easier for you

[@PringlesOriginal445]

I really feel like I can understand this, your family just want you to get better because they love you so much, that is why they use harsh love at times. We're all proud of you, deffo can understand your mindset when it came to the noodles. Hope you have a lovely christmas. Xxx

[@julie7652]

In my opinion christmas is about so much more than food and shopping.I have anorexia, too, but you seem very focussed on food. Even in recovery it is important to not give the eating disorder so much room.

[@julie7652]

Don't get me wrong. You made a big step with seeing your illness and your thoughts and findings are also helpful to me. But our lifes are about more than that and I'm also trying to not concentrate on food.

[@annamay1629]

Julie HotHill I think that’s what she’s really trying to do

[@Snickerdoods.x]

It’s about food a lot especially in the weight restoration phase. We only see a small part of her day. We don’t know what else she and her family are doing. This is a recovery channel, of course what she shows us is a lot about food lol

[@kellycannon9796]

Julie HotHill - in early recovery, a lot of the time it IS actually about food. It’s about getting the foods in, keeping it in, getting variety, having enough, challenging the fears, dealing with extreme hunger, extreme fullness, extreme fullness when its time to eat, being unsure if you are hungry or not.......and on and on!! That is the realty of early recovery and as we become weight restored and nutrition restored, the focus hugely shifts off the food/eating. Elzani- keep up your amazingness!!💕

[@XCaliBearsX]

I just wanted to say how extremely brave you are. You’re pushing yourself and fighting to get healthy and honestly, it’s really inspiring and I know a lot of girls will see your videos and you’ll push them to get better too. Your family aren’t mad or wanting you to impress them, they care so much and love you so much that they just want you to be happy again. Don’t worry about what people will think, just eat and if you just eat a little more each day then that’s progress. You’re a strong girl, keep fighting. Love always. X

[@Hazel_White]

Wow I’ve become so invested in your journey and I love seeing you genuinely happy so don’t let the food take your happiness away. Ignore the voices eating away at you. Your doing well and you will enjoy your Christmas and eat some amazing food!

[@gtamazing0068]

You are allowed to feel your emotions. You’re human like everyone. Give yourself a break bcz what you’re doing is hard. Merry Christmas, I’m glad you’re alive.

[@susanjarrell1573]

I just happened upon your channel and the mother in me comes out watching your journey. You are so brave. I’m praying for your continued recovery. Know there are people praying for you. You have done so well and I just love your mom. She is so supportive.

[@oriaaspenalexander]

You did really well. Your sister is giving tough love, but at the wrong time. You succeeded when you ate the chinese food, don't listen to her, you did great.

[@SomewhereOnTheFarm]

that beginning part where you are singing with your sisters is priceless--smiling, laughing, bonding and having fun again! I cried with you at the dinner table and you rocked it making the best come back ever. Merry Christmas Elzani. Love you lots

[@jacquelinebodkins8161]

Elzani makes me cry when she gets so upset and is so sensitive to what ever her family says or doesn't say. Glad she is better now it must of been tormenting for her to struggle and argue with in herself. She touchs my heart.

[@laylam9948]

This documentation of your recovery is so heart-warming and real. I wish you nothing but the best, Happy Holidays!

[@coleylifts]

queen you are doing so amazing and killing it this christmas!!! we believe in you and love you. you can get better and beat this

[@Lucie-hx8iy]

Do you know Rebecca Leung? She also does videos on recovery abd she is veryvery nice and inspiring...Not that you wouldn’t be of course, don’t get me wrong!

[@emilyjayne0112]

You did so good with the Chinese!!!!! Don’t worry about making a big deal with your food, it’s part of recovery❤️❤️

[@marcellaella5298]

I'm so proud of you :) your eyes are looking brighter with every video

[@For3v3rY0urAng3ll]

binge watch Elzani then take a shot every time Elzani or her mum says Divine

[@enjoyyourlifex3]

hey i just wanted to say that i’m so so so proud of you. even just the thought of trying is HUGE and you’re such a freaking warrior. don’t focus on what will impress people, or what they’re eating, focus on yourself and how you feel and feeling satisfied at the end of the day. DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOT DOING ENOUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE. your happiness is all that matters. stay safe, love. ((also, i don’t know if you have one already but maybe getting a nutritionist to tell you what you should eat will help your fear of eating enough go away))

[@harrynelson4522]

You're incredible! Amazing effort! It might seem small but it was a big challenge for you and your achievements will only get bigger from here. Be proud of yourself. You deserve to be!

[@DivineDianne]

I am not anorexic but I've suffered depression and there is that same feeling of not knowing why you cry and not knowing why you feel so annoyed at yourself. The struggle is real. You are doing SO well. :)

[@ss7382]

I understand it's hard to eat what you haven't eaten long time.The further it will be easier to eat and everything gonna be ok❤. Merry Christmas!!!!🎁🎀🎉😍

[@nupee1999]

Don’t worry about what we think! Eating should be a big deal for you because it’s furthering your progress and it’s getting you where you need to be. I am extremely proud of you for pushing yourself and eating the chinese! You did wonderful Elzani. Much love from the United States ❤️

[@sarahclemo5924]

Your family is great. I can't believe they don't get horribly annoyed at you talking about food constantly, and needing permission to eat every bite. You're lucky to have such great support.

[@elzani6744]

they really are! And I can't believe it either, I would get so so frustrated if it was the other way around. I don't know how they do it, I am so so so lucky!

[@sarahclemo5924]

@@elzani6744 I do understand. I have to really try hard not to talk about fiid as much as it's on my mind. I've been in remission from bulumia for 9 years. It's still a struggle, and I overeat often. Best of luck to you.💞

[@Ahdekia]

I honestly cried when you did, i dont suffer with anorexia but i felt your struggle so much. Everyone is so proud of you. Keep up the great work

[@ladyoflove1551]

Merry Christmas to you and your family. No one is annoyed with you. They are all just trying to make sure you get better. That is the best gift of having amazing loved ones around you. So much good support and so much to be proud of. When you catch yourself thinking too much about what you are going to eat, before you even get there, occupy your mind on something else. Don't think about it or allow it to consume you! Your channel is growing so fast and now you have many friends and support. Love you! Keep up the goals and achievements. ❤

[@isobelhague694]

Elzani (firstly, what a beautiful name), secondly, you are doing *so* well! You should be incredibly proud of yourself. Recovery isn't a bump free journey; there are highs, lows, breakdowns, joyous moments and that is just how it will be. You are doing amazingly Elzani, I promise you. 💗

[@chantellepaighton9698]

i’m so truly proud of you. watched every single video. remember, your beating at yourself for eating, we all love food and some more than others but food is to enjoy, not to make you worry!💓

[@thingsthatneverwere]

It's not easy to recover but little by little you are becoming the best version of yourself. I am so proud of you. it's ok to get upset and cry, you are human, and humans have emotions. seasons greetings xoxo

[@torijh9173]

11:09 one direction fully own my heart ❤️😂 but can I just say that you’re one of the realist channels one KZbin and I love how raw and open you are about things

[@everchik28]

Proud of you, Elzani! You're doing so great! Keep it up. Every bite and every positive thought is one step closer. You and your family are wonderful! ❤

[@KateWiium]

I really love how you document everything, it's gonna be so great for you to be able to look back on =)

[@ailismeade3923]

i don't know what it is like to have an eating disorder but i still feel like im feeling your feelings every step of the way and im so so proud of you and thrilled that your making the progress that you are making. keep trying more and more things and keep listening to your family they will be your saving grace

[@ailismeade3923]

even if your family may seem like theyre being harsh at the time they mean the best

[@oliviaa7973]

I’m so proud of you, your doing so well xxxx

[@Andyyoureastar]

omg I have hair similar to your mom and I never see moms with long wild hair like that she's gorgeous and hair goals

[@deniedejo8596]

Your family is worth GOLD! You must be so lucky to have such an amazing loving familiy

[@frogtits1352]

Love your constant uploads! I hope you feel better, love xx

[@8pawsandus176]

I know it’s tough but you will and need to eat loads in recovery because your body is recovering from the damage so you most likely will be eating more then your family because your body needs extra to heal it’s self. ♥️

[@sofiamanolakis8214]

Keep going girl! You're doing amazing!! Keep up the hard work! One step at a time!

[@rimaruttempest6109]

youre doing so well and its not your fault that its so scary. you say you make a big deal out of everything but in your head it is a big deal, your fear is valid and you gotta give yourself some compassion for being afraid🖤 just please know that you need probably 2-3x as much food as everyone in your family needs because your wonderful organs need to heal themselves after that period of starvation, please know that your body needs so much nutrients at this stage in your recovery and when this stage of your recovery is over, your body won’t crave the food as intensely and you won’t overeat and you will be able to stop, I promise. Just remember that every bite is nourishing your mind and your body and your soul, and every bite symbolizes self love 💙💙💙 we’re all so proud of you

[@meagnelhug9976]

I hope you and your family have the best Christmas! Look at you conquering the world

[@candyflosskitten23]

Elzani I’m so proud of you, I’ve watched how far you have come and you’re doing amazing! It’s ok if you have a few wobbles here and there but you are doing so well! Keep it up 💜

[@KateWiium]

it's hard to not make a big deal out of it, IT IS a big deal, in your mind, and it's hard to change your mindset and it takes time, just keep trying :) don't feel bad about it ok =)

[@shelbygrace7757]

I love you sm! I hope you and your family has a Merry Christmas!!!

[@NuclearKat]

I loved hearing your goals of what next year will be like and how good its going to be!! ❤

[@prestondavis3342]

Keep it up babygirl! Just discovered your channel! So glad your taking this head on! You look fantastic! Your on your way to become a foodie and discovering all new types of fantastic and healthy food that taste so good you cant even imagine! I wish you the best on your journey! God Bless you and your family! Keep up the good work!

[@ImGreat5414]

Would love to see more videos of you with your sisters!!!! Also, keep making progress Elzani. You have so many supporters.

[@hannahkisley9118]

Well done! This is such a great achievement, when you look back on this further back on this further on in recovery I bet you will be so shocked at your reaction to the extra noodles. Looking back at some of my reactions to when I had to increase my food intake I realised how stupid I was being and how it really DOES NOT matter how big a portion is

[@zedhem]

Hi Elzani, i'm loving these videos! I can't believe how alike we are. It such a joy to watch your recovery, so glad to see that you are doing well and it's interesting to learn a bit more about your internal thoughts around your disorder. It is once again difficult to watch some of the ways in which your family react. I'm the sort of person who loves talking about and analysing things that happened to me, or my thought processes. I wish we could talk because I think you are a really interesting person. Your dad also reminds me a lot of my Dad. I think that he would have said something similar to me if I had lied to him, even if the lie made perfect sense considering the circumstances. I think my dad struggles with theory of mind, because he takes a lot of things personally that I wouldn't even consider an insult. For example, I have a lot of work due at the moment so i'm considering missing a family gathering and every time it comes up he gets annoyed and says: but you can't miss it, you have to come?! And i'm just like, what? No I don't! Haha! Why do you not respect my deadlines or me prioritising my work over a party? He only sees the situation from his point of view, which is that i'm missing a family gathering that he wants me to go to. I hope that if you feel a bit of disconnect from your family at times, that you know its ok and normal even. While I was at home, I think that this disconnect made me feel a bit out of place in the family dynamic. I definitely didn't know the extent to which my personality or values were different from those in my family until I left home. But now, I realise that we are just different people and its ok if our personalities don't gell 100% of the time, or we don't always see eye to eye on things. There are people that i've met in the last 2-3 years that I have more in common with than my own sister or my dad and it's so bazaar because I never would have imagined that could happen when I was living at home. I'm thinking of you and wishing you further success in the new year! xx

[@lltas2625]

You are doing so well Elzani keep challenging yourself and eating more, I know how hard it is especially at Christmas, even having the 5 heroes is a great achievement 🎉

[@stephaniew9016]

i love that you are sharing this journey with us!! You are doing amazing!!! Merry Christmas to you and the family! :)

[@Iheartstarkid4sure]

So so proud of you!! Keep pushing yourself, you will get there!! x

[@mj425masa]

I know it is hard to commit yourself to eat like other people. I used to do exactly the same thing, like telling myself "I do eat more since now." everyday and didn't have that much, because too scared and getting tired of being annoying. But then right after I had pastries or cookies or things like that for my snack, I freak out and ask myself "Does other people eat like this?! Did I just had extra calories?! Is this normal??? Omg, what I've done..." so I am glad you did try your sister's favorite cheesecake! I am sure your sister was very happy shearing her favorite with you! ♥And it's okay, Christmas is inly ince a year! Enjoy your Christmas with yiur family! You are so brave! Noodle is still scary food for me, so realky proud of you!!! Also, I like the way you edit your video. Not hiding the fact and shear your real anorexia story with us!!!

[@tatteredquilt]

I think part of the reason people don't seem to want to be friends when we're still "in it" is that they don't know how to respond to the disorder- not that you, the person, isn't worth being friends with, but the disorder dictates too much of life to include "outsiders".... that you want friends is a huge plus. I'm seeing this many years after it was posted.... it's incredible how you were still so "in" the middle of the eating disorder nearly a year after the hospital and ED unit. I get it. I've been restricting more for over 3 years (lifelong restricting with periods of less restriction), and I look at how little I've done for the 2 1/2 years I've been getting help again.

[@Zenithxblack]

The way you feel is normal. Having emotions is human. You've been struggling with an illness which many do not understand. You are working hard and doing well. Please don't give up! Also, I've never seen inside of a Tesco =) we don't have them here in the states. I really enjoyed that (and the whole video, as always). Don't worry about your cc. It just doesn't understand proper English.

[@Annsunshine30]

Merry Christmas to you sweet girl! Hope you and your family will have a lovely time!

[@paleperson3662]

Elzani you're doing so well we are all so proud of you you've literally made so much progress with this journey you can beat the illness 😊❤️

[@paularavinale5507]

I’ve been watching ur videos for a while and I’m really proud of u. You r looking healthier and I’m really happy to see that ❤️ all the love from Argentina and merry Christmas Eve :)

[@Shani249]

Sometimes when you feel the need to cry you should just let it out, it always makes it feel better and the eating will become easier. I don't know what it is about crying but it somehow makes the thing you were upset about seem really stupid afterwards haha

[@MyLifeAsMiranda]

I agree. I always go against my ED rules when I'm with my boyfriend and he knows how difficult it is for me. But he always let's me have my little breakdowns by allowing me to cry and vent about how I'm feeling which in the end relieves a lot of my anxiety and gives me courage and strength to eat more with him. So I definitely agree that allowing yourself to just release pent up emotion can and most likely will help you to at least move on a little so you don't keep over thinking☀️🌞

[@Shani249]

@@MyLifeAsMiranda your boyfriend is awesome then 😊

[@jasminerussell2721]

We’re so proud of you!! You can do this xx

[@maggiemoon666]

I wish my mom supported me this much. I'm so happy for you I love you loads xx

[@alexandra1147]

Merry Christmas to you Elzani and the rest of your family!! xx

[@dj-sz9ot]

it makes me so happy watching you come to life!! so proud 💖💖

[@troy7328]

Have a wonderful Christmas!!! Best wishes are being sent your way!

[@poppygis9413]

We all are supporting you through this! Merry Christmas elzani!🍁💙💙

[@andiepalmer6727]

you are absolutely inspiring. bless you and your family. i have watched all your videos thus far and will continue to follow you during this journey!!! WOW

[@Hollieford89]

Feel her dad isn't as understanding and says rude comments and makes faces when she talks about how she feels

[@thalia6731]

I felt sorry for the dog trying to get his attention.

[@ohwellwhateverr]

Hollie Ford I think he’s very supportive. The faces he makes are probably bc he’s pained by her illness

[@burnedflowers141]

@@ohwellwhateverr nah you can tell it pees him off the way she is. BUT obviously hes not pissed at her, just cant see why elzani does the things she does. A common thing is to get angry about things you dont understand. I dont think he likes the vlogging either lol.