Embarrassing Childhood Stories - SimplyPodLogical #66

On this episode of SimplyPodLogical, Cristine and Ben talk about their earliest childhood memories, worst injuries as a kid, grade school, and embarrassing stories.
0:00 - Hey what’s up holo everyone
1:50 - What’s your earliest memory?
3:50 - Home movies
5:44 - Childhood injuries
16:26 - Embarrassing stories
16:53 - Don’t drink and drive...?
20:05 - Bathroom talk (ew)
26:45 - Grade school
29:18 - Prank calls when people used to use phones to call
31:30 - Older siblings
33:16 - Getting in trouble for wearing a tank top
37:21 - Cristine dyed her dad’s hair
38:52 - Dirt from Ben’s brother
41:48 - Monkey X-Files: Ben's screenwriting debut
47:54 - Embarrassing Ben some more
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©Simply Nailogical Inc. All opinions are our own.

[@LU-qr3kh]

Cristine you can't use the left image for this thumbnail. It's copyright Abubu.

[@riotgrrrl8807]

"Abubu©" please.

[@neu_dae]

a.k.a Kabubu

[@kimdenny7978]

Sadly yes

[@nadiapoulin7046]

😂😂😂

[@sarahjorgensen2371]

"Take Jen, we broke the other one." - Best line

[@yams.4308]

10:21 lol

[@mary.w.]

Absolutely 💯 🤣😂

[@catwiley5297]

Made me laugh out loud

[@susanselko-millman4889]

💀😂😂😂😂

[@odeia18]

dying

[@katethemathnerd]

Teacher here - my two cents on dress codes: If seeing a bit of skin on a child’s shoulder or tummy makes you “uncomfortable”, YOU SHOULDN’T BE WORKING WITH CHILDREN!

[@pixlfinch1091]

Exactly

[@Purplepotion]

Agree. In Norway we don't have dress code. Ofc to a degree 😂 don't show up without clothes etc. 😂 But I feel like we can be ourselves with the stiles and identity we have. 😊 I'm an art teacher btw🥰

[@Gamma_Radiation]

@@Purplepotion american "trending" clothes aren't the most conservative. I live in the deep south and the things people wear who actually care about evolving fashion trends wear very revealing things. It's not like this in other countries it seems

[@raffie_exe]

@@Gamma_Radiation that doesn’t matter, no one needs to dress ‘conservatively’. in europe believe me people don’t dress conservatively and it doesn’t matter

[@MrsMrMoney]

My daughter got in trouble at school when she was about 7 for having a tank top on. SHOULDERS. GASP! She also got in trouble in 6th grade bc her bra strap kept falling down. So instead of the female teacher or the female principal OR the female nurse helping her adjust it and keep it from falling… they shamed her in front of the entire grade and made her wear a lab coat the rest of the day. I was SUPER PISSED and had a sit down with the teacher and principal. She never had another dress code issue after that.

[@humanpersonne]

You sound like a badass mom and an awesome person. You did good

[@MrsMrMoney]

@@humanpersonne I was so fed up with the bullshit. These were just the worst incidents too, the dress code at her elementary/middle school was 10x’s as strict as her (now) high school! And with the bra thing? I was so infuriated and told every one of those ladies how I felt about them not helping my daughter out! Have some grace with these kids! Be TEACHERS!

[@settheworldonfire94]

Are you in the southern US? I once got in trouble for wearing a sleeveless top under a cardigan because I would’ve been out of dress code if I took off the cardigan. Gotta love Texas.

[@yelljal2764]

School decides can help prevent sexual assaults. Not only on campus but also off and in later life. A sexual predator is more likely to be attracted to a young girl with the more skin they show. School dress codes help teach safety skills which may come in and save a life, particularly post education.

[@settheworldonfire94]

@@yelljal2764 yikes. If someone assaults a child, it is not because of what the child is wearing. It’s because that person is a disgusting individual. School dress codes have nothing to do with safety. In the Deep South, they usually have everything to do with religiously-influenced misogyny and modesty standards.

[@AffinityClicks]

"Breakfast with the guy who shot Jhon F. Kennedy" IM SCREAMING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🐒

[@alexandramadere7629]

Imagine a taco Tuesday but hosted by Matt and Jen just telling funny stories of cristine and Ben

[@msbandit8700]

Yes!

[@SC-qu7wk]

I would love this even just for one episode!! 😄

[@AmnaJoy]

I NEED DIS

[@ceciliatapioca]

I saw a comment somewhere about doing this for April’s fool next year, although is not a Tuesday, but who cares!!

[@katyb2793]

YES!

[@alliepalmer5126]

I thought Ben’s scar was just like a wrinkle from furrowing his brows too much 😅

[@victoriasminizoo8201]

samee

[@lizzybee16]

The future is genderless bathrooms, and beynn is walking cluelesly into all of them 😆

[@nataliapiccione9449]

At my school, art liceo in Italy, we had genderless bathrooms, all of us just went to the one closer to the classroom, but no one complained ever, even if the doors had boys/girls signs on them, we said it was just for decoration.

[@kluvsj2]

Ben's script is literally the best part of my day today, holy shit 👏🏻👏🏻

[@DaniCal1forn1a]

I remember when I was in secondary school, we wore a uniform that included a white shirt, and during the summer we would often just wear our shirts and keep our jumpers in our bags. People would wear whatever bra they wanted underneath, and school was trying to enforce a policy of only white bras if you're white, black bras if you're black, or skin tone bras... it did not go down well with us or our parents and there was outrage that grown adults (especially men) would be effectively looking at and policing our underwear, and most people who wore bras protested/rebelled by wearing bras that broke the dress code, I wore a neon pink, a bright green, and a spongebob bra while we were protesting this and most of the other teens who wore bras did the same, and if we were challenged we would just ask why they were looking at our bras and that our parents knew what we were wearing and what we were doing, and even encouraged us to wear what bras we wanted, so if we got detention there'd be hundreds of angry parents challenging the school. I believe several girls got detention and a group of mums came up to school to argue with the senior leadership team about this new uniform policy, and with all the effort and sticking to our guns the silly policy got removed 🥳. It was honestly quite empowering, and even people who didn't get along came together to push against this, it was amazing to see the sheer power of women and girls coming together for a common cause 😊

[@riribeasley4741]

Wow! Good on you all for standing your ground. My school also had this rule and they would send girls to the office to put on an old bra from the communal bra box if you wore a coloured one. I was so scared of wearing a gross old bra I never ever broke this rule!

[@DaniCal1forn1a]

@@riribeasley4741 oh wow that's so awful! I don't blame you, I would rather have got done for truanting than put on an old communal bra 😫. I think because all of us decided together that we weren't having it (and like, this was most year groups too, so up to 1000 people were pushing back against this, even people who always just wore plain bras would stand up for us who didn't in class!) - that it worked. There was no way the school could contend with that many people rebelling, and the parents on top of that 😬. It was like this hivemind between us all realising that we really had the power in this situation. I can totally understand how things wouldn't happen that way though 😞.

[@yazbasarslan]

that is so stupid like what does bras have to do with education at all? and also they CHECKED YOUR BRAS??? that is so fucked up. im glad you all rebelled and it actually worked

[@DaniCal1forn1a]

@@yazbasarslan it's a way to control our individuality as much as possible, down to things that aren't easily visible 🥲. Their argument was that the bright colours were too visible through white shirts and portrayed a "bad image" of the school and were distracting 😂. Thanks! I'm happy it worked too, I think when the school realised how potentially pervy it was they knew they didn't have a leg to stand on. Made even worse when I found out after I left that a maths teacher was arrested and put in prison for dating a sixth former at a previous school during his teacher training! 😳

[@yazbasarslan]

@@DaniCal1forn1a omg that is so scary. im glad youre okay now

[@purrll]

When I was very young I asked my grandmother why she's got dentures, she told me that when she was young it was fashionable to pull all your teeth out and replace them with false teeth. Not until my late 20s did I realize that SHE WAS JOKING! All these years I had been telling people about this bizarre practice that they used to do back in the day and it turned out not to be true!

[@claraberg1214]

I mean, she wasn't wrong about it being a trend though... but it wasn't for fashion per sey. It was because dental health was so bad most people had such bad tooth issues that financially and for asthetics people took to getting dentures at a very young age! Bith of my grandparents got dentures in their 30s. But as a 30 year old now the thought of this makes me CRINGE. I could not imagine having teeth so bad I need dentures in my 30s!!!

[@futurecoffee2226]

@@claraberg1214 Yeah my grandad had all of his teeth pulled at 16, and all of the molars were pulled without anasethesia. He's 90 now and still pissed.

[@claraberg1214]

@@futurecoffee2226 I do not blame him AT ALL. I'd be livid if my teeth got pulled that young!!! They barely gave his teeth a chance.. And without anethstesia is not okay at all!!😓

[@bhaktikataria7561]

"I don't even like bananas" TELL THAT TO ASSISTANT DIRECTOR BANANA

[@happyellf]

When I was in high school a male vice principal was banned from giving dress code violations to female students because parents complained it was creepy a man in authority was being encouraged to scrutinize their teenage girl's bodies. It was surprisingly forward thinking for the area.

[@vidyareddy6402]

Lol they referred to multiple fact checks but the one that stuck out to me was about tear ducts! They don’t produce tears Cristine, they drain them! Your eyes produce tears specifically in the lacrimal glands, even when you’re not crying or anything to keep your eyes lubricated. Fun fact, the lacrimal glands are basically situated beneath the outer portion of your eyelids.

[@joanaalvesdasilva5218]

I actually scrolled through comments to see if anyone had corrected Cristine 😊 This is true, they're like gutters that drain to the nose, which is why your nose runs more if you cry. Still wondering how so many adults never noticed them 😅

[@vidyareddy6402]

Exactly! Great point too😁 and her confidence about it! Was quite funny and cute to me

[@samanthacostanza4137]

I teach Psychology 101 and when we talk about memory, we talk about infantile amnesia. This is a thing because the part that transfers your short term memories into long term memory isn’t fully developed until about 3 years old. That’s why it’s hard for us to remember things earlier than that.

[@anthonywyattStylist]

I dont remeber anything till 4 and three quarters so i dont think everyone starts having long term at three thats why i dislike psychology cus it put s everyone in boxs created by the IDEAS taught in books by nuerotypical white men and woman from the view point of there interpritation and not from first hand account. Which is another reason i dont read psychology books about autism not written by people not on the spectrum cus they dont know jack only people who live in those shoes do and even still its not the same cus thats why its a spectrum

[@FukaiKokoro]

I actually remember being in my crib during an earthquake and the paintings moving and my dad grabbing me and running out of the house. I don’t remember being outside. Just the instance of my dad grabbing me and stuff moving. I also remember being in my walker and walking out the door and falling down stairs.

[@amiablehacker]

@@anthonywyattStylist a lot of psychology books are written from studies, not anecdotal evidence.

[@boneymacaroni13]

@@anthonywyattStylist I definitely have memories from 3 years old, one bad and one good, so there must be some truth to it.

[@occult4162]

​@@anthonywyattStylist they just said that it's easier for us to remember things before the age of 3, that's it. not that we all start remembering something that happened to us when we were 3. i find it a little silly how you discredit the importance of psychology, right after misunderstanding a simple comment.

[@glittersoop]

AHAHAHAHA cristine, i thought the same thing when i was a kid. i remember one time fairly distinctly, i was in the car with one of my parents, and they took a sip of whatever non-alcoholic beverage they were drinking and i was FLABBERGASTED, i was like, OMG YOU SHOULD NOT BE DRINKING WHILE DRIVING.

[@8shroomfairy8]

Yeah same here... except what was in my moms cup wasn't always just "water" like she claimed lol. But I'm still here and she has paid her dues for breaking the law so there's that 😅

[@Margar02]

Yes! I did the same thing one time when my dad and I went through a drive through and he took a sip of the soda!

[@toomuchiridium]

I still genuinely get upset at my brother when he’s drinking coffee just because he’s driving with one hand and some of his vision is probably blocked from the cup 🙃

[@karakurie]

I wonder how many kids thought this. I only found out because I told my parents a lady beside us in the car was drinking while driving and my mom was really upset and asked me what she was drinking and I tokd her a water bottle. lololol

[@catherineviolinist]

I thought the same thing, too! My parents went out of town for their anniversary when I was about 5-6, so a family friend was watching us for a few days. There was a “Don’t Drink and Drive” billboard near the fast food restaurant we went to for lunch one day. When we left with our leftover (non-alcoholic) drinks, I reminded the adult that was driving that they shouldn’t drink and drive. That’s when I learned what those billboards were for. 😅

[@kearawerth4073]

As someone who was always been more physically developed than others my age, I was always targeted regarding dress code violations. Middle school was the worst; it seemed like I was targeted because my legs were longer, thus making my bottoms seem shorter. I was forced to leave school multiple times for wearing regular shorts others were allowed to wear

[@skuddleduck]

I had one teacher in seventh grade who would break out a ruler to make sure my shorts were long enough. She would do it front of the whole lunchroom or the whole class. I was 5 foot 7 at 12 years old. It was so embarrassing.

[@tonystarksanxieties]

The only thing that helps me remember the difference between the gender symbols is something my english teacher taught me. The female symbol is meant to represent a mirror that Aphrodite would look into. The male symbol is meant to represent Ares' shield with a spear coming out of it.

[@jacklyntree7752]

Ooh that makes sense, TIL

[@adrianaescobar9712]

I also remember it cause the teacher said women carry the cross. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@coffeegirl18]

I love that memory thing 💜. I had to memorize them way back for a class. I'm not in the most liberal area so people just stopped gendering washrooms and they're just single stalls.

[@settheworldonfire94]

Fun fact: they are also the same symbols for the planets Venus and Mars, since Aphrodite and Aries are the Greek versions of those Roman gods.

[@yelljal2764]

I always remember that the male symbol looks like a sperm cell traveling outward and the female symbol looking like an egg, representing the addition of a new life.

[@carolin2544]

I tried to listen to this while jogging but I laughed so much that I had to stop multiple times 😂 Now I’m just walking around in my sports clothes looking like I’m lazy 😅

[@coltjames9159]

Lmfao Think you chose the wrong episode of the podcast to jog with? XD

[@carolin2544]

@@coltjames9159 Yeah, the title should've been a hint 😅

[@coltjames9159]

@@carolin2544 Good thing laughter is great medicine. I think this was the funniest one to date. I ended up cackling at quite a few parts. XD

[@carolin2544]

@@coltjames9159 Yup! Usually it’s super interesting and/or educational, but this episode is just pure entertainment 😄

[@GarliccDread]

When I was little I remember being in the car with my aunt who's pretty religious. I asked her what a virgin is 💀. She hesitated for a second but then said "a very, very good girl." 😶💀

[@EVEspinosa79]

As a toddler I was obsessed with the concept of baldness. Once someone explained me that those grown up men without hair were bald, I would cry out excited at the sight of one " Mamá, Mira ese señor pelón!!" ("Mom! look at that bold guy!") because I was super proud I understood what was going on with those odd looking guys.

[@IswearmynameisLaura]

Cute Ben with the hoodie Cristine was wearing in the livestream

[@cydneys2262]

The monkey story and the tear duct story I’m dying

[@lia_art5021]

I just remember stuff but I can't actually put them in chronological order, I have no idea what my oldest memory is

[@sophiemehu5605]

Same but I remember my earliest memory was when I was 3 but I can't remember anything from when I was 1 or 2.

[@alessazoe]

@@sophiemehu5605 As Cristine or Ben said: The human ability to remember experiences only develops around the age of 2, so your brain simply can’t remember stuff before.

[@lia_art5021]

@Alicia P Yes, I also remember a lot of nightmares and dreams

[@colorbar.s]

god me too lol. I have the thing christine and ben have where they can't remember if their first memory is a genuine memory or something they just heard about or saw a picture of, but for ALL my memories.

[@amyjordan6342]

Do do, do do do do do, do 🎶. Happy Taco Tuesday everyone! Can’t wait to listen to this weeks episode😝🍌💅🏻

[@mmalove98]

This comment has very much dinkfam vibes from the jenna julien podcast and it warms my heart

[@coffeegirl18]

@@mmalove98 Aww I'm DinkFam too 💜

[@dorsa78762]

When you can actually hear a comment

[@bladepanthera]

That script is actually pretty creative! To actually have the impetus to sit down and write it out is more than lots of kids do. I always think it's a good sign when kids come up with things like this. Lots of imagination 😂😁🐒

[@ajtopant]

Fun fact: There are actually two tear ducts per eye (one on the upper eyelid, one on the lower) and they don´t produce tears - they actually lead the tears away down to the nose (and that is why we get a runny nose when we cry). The tears are produced in the tear gland that is located by the upper-outer corner of the eye, and the tears reach the cornea through several tiny ducts and then are spread by the eyelids. So Ben´s theory was not that faulty about how tears come about :) Also yes, I´m fun at parties - must be because of my earliest memory that I will share here as an appeasement: I was about four and there was a little boy in preschool who really liked to play with me. Unfortunately he didn´t like when I wanted to play with other kids. So my first memory is a vivid recollection of him standing in the doorway of the preschool and saying to me that if I don´t play with him then he will get his dog to bite me, or he will get his dad and he will drown me in water. I do wish that first memory was something a bit more uplifting...

[@Margar02]

Something tells me he became a terrible boyfriend/husband later... He probably witnessed some stuff.

[@latinaloca1981]

Thank you I was hoping someone would mention the eyelid holes they were talking about and what their actual purpose is. 👍🏽

[@Demeste]

To add to Cristine’s “don’t drink and drive” story, in the UK we have road signs that say “picking up your litter puts road workers lives at risks”, but I thought it meant that getting out of your own car to pick up your own litter means people have to swerve around you and road workers who visit after you’ve crashed are in danger... so the moral was DON’T pick up your own litter. Which I thought was weird but just accepted. I would get annoyed saying it just encouraged people to litter?? I know now the truth.

[@Rita_Arya]

Sorry, I'm not a native speaker I didn't quite get the "picking up your own litter puts road workers lives at risks". Can you explain 😅

[@icetea5649]

All these stories are so relatable to any 90s kid, I think. I was cry laughing at all these memories :D "Men pee in sinks"

[@sisno2619]

Labas :D

[@joanaalvesdasilva5218]

Great thing about being born in the 80's: lots of embarassing moments, but NO PROOF hahah! 😅 No YT, no social networks, no hand held cameras. I don't envy kids these days...

[@sophiesiering6382]

Ben's silence of the lambs story really reminds me of my childhood. Generally my parents were kinda overprotective but when it came to what I watched on TV or did online, they didn't really care

[@XSemperIdem5]

I grew up watching The X Files and Cops in elementary school yet I started sneak watching Buffy in middle school because somehow that was more graphic? 🤷

[@ellebelle86]

Omg, Ben writing out the scene where Scully meets The Lone Gunmen is absolutely priceless... thank you so very much for that story, it made my day lol

[@arynphillips5888]

Architect here: you bring up so many excellent points about why gender neutral locker rooms and bathrooms are becoming more and more common. Not only are they more inclusive for the transgender community, but also for families with young kids. Additionally, they provide better privacy for all persons. And on the design and developer side, gender neutral restrooms and locker rooms can save space by consolidating services to one location. We do of course increase privacy measures such as using full walls instead of stalls, making rooms single occupancy instead of gang style, and not having situations like the wall of urinals.

[@1995TheCaroline]

Excuse my Scandinavian, but what the hell is a gang style restroom

[@arynphillips5888]

@@1995TheCaroline hahaha sorry for the architecture slang. It's actually better used to describe an older type of shower configuration that is really common in locker rooms, where there are multiple showers in one room, often multiple shower heads off a single column in the center, that everyone has to use in front of one another. But I would argue that a wall of urinals with no dividers or a multi-occupancy restroom with toilets only separated by floating partitions could fit that description of restroom fixtures "ganged together". They are not great for privacy or comfort for most people and there is a push to do away with those.

[@1995TheCaroline]

@@arynphillips5888 ahhh okay, for the locker room it makes sense! Well, after your explanation, so does the rest

[@lumisteph]

Ben’s laugh at 46:00 really got me lol

[@alyssam3020]

I always thought I remembered Mt St Helen's erupting, until I realized it happened while my mom was still pregnant with me 😂 She said we watched a movie about it at a museum when I was little, so I guess that's what I remember 😜🤷‍♀️

[@Margar02]

Yes same with me for baby jessica in the well and princess Diana's wedding! Happened while she was pregnant

[@MrsMrMoney]

Omg. This happened to me as an adult… husband wanted to dye his beard with just for men. I put it on him and was so proud! Then 20 mins later he’s DYING laughing in the shower. It turned PURPLE!!! He was a great sport about it and thought it was hilarious and just shaved his beard off but man. That was so funny.

[@spaghettibebop]

I'M LOOSING MY MIND AT BEN'S MONKEY SCRIPT HAHAHA

[@racheli204]

the dress codes still happen,young females are still shamed for wearing “provocative” tank top straps. girls should not be shamed for showing their shoulders simply because of the male gaze and their inability to handle their feelings

[@_bebeboudeur_]

I remember in high school, a teacher making a girl leave the classroom because her skirt was "too short" when it was just above her knees

[@kristenfader2088]

The same thing happened to me in school with a skirt that another girl was also wearing but was not called into the hallway and I remember just holding back sobs because I was so upset and embarrassed. Now at the same school that my sister (6 years younger) attends, they fought back and are now allowed to wear whatever they want (within reason - like basically not being naked - but crop tops, straps, shorts, etc are now allowed) - the times really have changed

[@coffeegirl18]

My public high school, when I left to do my Victory Lap (formerly OAC) at a Catholic school, actually narrowed the dress code to be girl's wore tshirts with a high neck and pants all year and guys can wear whatever as long as there's no swearing. My Catholic school was basically the guys dress code at my old school and no pockets showing short shorts. We only had it enforced on church days which were once a month and it was an hour service but with a bus back and forth it was basically a half day.

[@yelljal2764]

School decides can help prevent sexual assaults. Not only on campus but also off and in later life. A sexual predator is more likely to be attracted to a young girl with the more skin they show. School dress codes help teach safety skills which may come in and save a life, particularly post education.

[@recoil53]

@@yelljal2764 Then why are there dress codes for boys? Why aren't they enforced? Dress codes also place the responsibility on girls while never teaching boys self regulation and control. And even women who are covered up get raped. This is more just victim blaming.

[@recoil53]

There are still a lot of schools with strict dress codes.

[@yelljal2764]

@@recoil53 Boys are still sexually assaulted but it is a lot more rare. It is much more likely for a sexual assault to happen to someone who is uncovered. Boys should definitely be taught self regulation as that would help immensely. A combination of teaching both safety and protection to women and control and self regulation to men would likely drastically improve sexual assault cases in both women and men. School dress codes are just the first steps in the right direction, but more is necessary to make a true difference. Without meaningful discussion stress codes don't have much of a contribution but there effect can be multiplied once those discussions happen.

[@jayl2406]

“The M Files” has be in TEARS 😂😂😂

[@manicpixiecremegirl]

My favorite days of the week are Taco Tuesday and Welsh Twins Sunday. Watching both of these is the closest semblance I have to a routine. My life may be messy but at least I know what I'm doing Tuesdays and Sundays. 😂😂 thank you for providing my life structure lol

[@novarage1923]

The Welsh Twins, pretty much without fail, get me in tears from laughing so hard

[@kayenjee]

Yes! 🙌🏼

[@jacklyntree7752]

This is the second time I've watched the pod when it's uploaded, but mark my words THIS WILL BE MY NEW ROUTINE FOR Taco Tuesdays!!

[@ishabiswas8224]

I wish Falcon and Winter Soldier was still ongoing, so it would've been Taco Tues, Loki Wednes, TFATWS Fri, and Welsh Sundays

[@tina_smt]

The Welsh Twins, have a podcast every second Wednesday too. They are pretty funny as well 😂

[@Taemaria]

So I’m two years younger than Cristine and I remember prank calling during sleepovers. Now I wanna die from embarrassment thinking about how many we prank called during that time. I was really a dumb child💀

[@paulinexong]

Cristine's tank top story reminded me of what it was like at my school in 5th grade. We had a new principal who was super strict about that stuff for absolutely no reason (and other ridiculous rules, like no red because it's "a gang color"). It got to the point where our literal teacher would warn us when she was approaching the room so we could put our sweaters on if we needed to before she came in

[@Luna-yf7tq]

I STARTED CRYING LAUGHING WHEN YOU TALKED ABT BEN FINDIG OUT HE HAS TEARDUCTS

[@ALL.1.DO.IS.RE4D]

We have HOLES in our eyes. How did I never know that.........

[@caitlindewinnaar5133]

I only just noticed thanks to the podcast I-

[@Harri_Jay_Kay]

The pupils are also holes.

[@Guadalupe4324]

My oldest confirmed memory is when I was 3 years old and I was laying on my aunt's stomach and heard noises. She gave me this whole story about how an alien entered the room and went in her body. The next week I asked her how her alien removal surgery went. I reminded her more recently and she was surprised I remembered that.

[@mdx7460]

Actually tears don’t come out of those little holes, they are there to help drain the tears.. it’s the reason you get a runny nose while crying

[@dovilekizomba]

I was looking for this comment :D

[@StargazerApril]

Holy Mary mother of god someone needs to animate Ben’s mother-loving script. I will throw money at whoever does this, PLEASE.

[@TheSaskatoonBerry]

As a kid I assumed SIN cards counted your sins, I thought really long and hard about how that would even work and wound up concluding that the government must be tracking your sins for you and sends you a new card every year with the updated number. When I saw my dads SIN card I was shocked and said "WOW dad you've sinned A LOT!".

[@ndtcssh]

I ALWAYS lock the door behind me in a public bathroom (sometimes at home too when my nephew was little) and I’ve had so many male coworkers get walked in on by customers when they’re peeing because they didn’t lock the door 😂😂😂

[@_bebeboudeur_]

I remember opening a bathroom stall and seeing my teacher peeing, as we were stopping by a gas station on a bus field trip, I wanna unsee it so badly!

[@ndtcssh]

@@_bebeboudeur_ That’s horrifying! I’m so sorry you have to live with that memory 😭🥺

[@k4ch0w]

45:57 I HAVE REPEATED THIS OVER 20 TIMES, I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN A LONG TIME

[@hannahlcherb]

SJDHJ IT SENT ME

[@madisongirolamo6064]

This is the funniest podcast I've ever watched, I would love to hear more of the M Files

[@bladepanthera]

Oh god I've got so many embarrassing stories until now, as children and as an adult, some unrepeatable. Urgh. 😬😳🙉🤦 Gimme a sec while I go and hide from my memories.

[@wakeupstylellc]

“Was your dad a blogger? Was he David Dobrik” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@californiadreamin3801]

best podcast so far! so fun to see you guys crack up. also i love the pastel collection. mint mojito being my absolute fave! i have never liked a green polish on my hands til now, despite green being my fave color. THANK YOU CRISTINE!! please, i need a black cherry polish in my life....or at least burgundy-ish holo polish....please.

[@unruidodefondo]

Omg imagine a burgundy with mate taco 👌🏽😍

[@MsYibz]

As a teacher I can guarantee that the most painful conversations I have are when I have to enforce or try to explain uniform standards.... ours are really basic as well, I do not have the energy but we get spoken to if we don't try to enforce it

[@emma2884]

You can definitely form memories when you're 2. That time frame seems accurate to when a lot of people form memories. My first memory was when I was 2 also. I got stung by a bee and I most remember my grandma drawing a circle around the sting. Years later I learned she was checking to see if it swelled up so we would know if I was allergic.

[@toomuchiridium]

I vaguely remember me jumping out of my kitchen window (it was lower than a metre off the ground and there was a wooden table just below, so nothing too dangerous) so there’s that

[@VultureSkins]

A psych teacher made a comment abt this that should be near the top if you want to check it out, abt infantile amnesia

[@RandiPoitras]

Call simply dad logical, he’s got all the embarrassing stories on Cristine! 😎🇨🇦

[@annasullivan2564]

When I was a kid I wrote a story about my dogs being secret agents, they had a trap door in their kennel to a secret base and saved the president's dog. My mom entered it in some kind of contest and I won. I had actually just copied a spy dogs cartoon that I watched sometimes and inserted my dogs as the main characters. I was too embarrassed to admit I copied it. I think about that sometimes. Maybe it's time to see if she has it saved away somewhere.

[@ivyk5796]

Not knowing the gender symbols is just Aries vibes

[@tinastanbaugh]

I did the calling a friend and leaving swearing messages too. I also called the new kids on the block 900 number and racked up like a $600 phone bill! Needless to say I was grounded 😂

[@fancypapercutz]

My mom was admitted to the hospital this morning, and I have been really worried with not being able to go visit her. The monkey script part made me laugh and forget for a little bit, so thank you guys for always sharing and making us smile.

[@Michelle-hw4wj]

hope your mom is doing okay!

[@fancypapercutz]

@@Michelle-hw4wj thank you!

[@sslimeman]

im sobbing from the xfile monkey fanfiction just "like my bugs?" 💀

[@misspiece22]

Just wanted to leave a comment to let Ben know that we love when he calls us "Super Simps"! ❤ I feel like sometimes he is not sure if he should say it or not, and I want him to know, it's okay! Keep it up!

[@unboxedana9964]

My brother had the same thought when he was a kid too: don't drunk and drive. He yelled at my dad for having some water when he was driving! haha easily done

[@Ghoe208]

When Ben and Cristine are busting at the seams laughing together, it warms my heart. ☺❤

[@Journey2FindKay]

I’ve only found her and Ben recently and I am sad it took so long cuz they are awesome

[@vanessa3120]

Welcome ✨

[@MichelleZB1]

The tear duct part had me cry laughing so hard 🤣😂🤣😂

[@jacklyntree7752]

Same!! For a sec I thought Ben was drunk but NO 🤣

[@vanessahernandez5596]

I’m 21 from LA and from elementary to high school we weren’t allowed to wear tank tops AT ALL at any of the schools I went to. We would have to put on a sweater or shirt or we would get sent home -.-

[@mingle27]

I feel down the stairs when I was 4, tripped on a dog leash that was on the landing. I'm 40 and I still have mild vertigo from that (diagnosed)and I cannot walk down stairs without a railing or without someone next to me! Stupid stairs.

[@gabrielacisterna8264]

I tought I was the only one with that problem. Is really nice to know I'm not alone

[@mingle27]

@@gabrielacisterna8264 ha nope! Team elevator!

[@XSemperIdem5]

I fell, or more accurately described, bounced down concrete stairs in high school and after that I always hold the railing.

[@Cuddleshock]

About the forming memories as young as 2 years - my earliest memory is being in the pushchair with the rain cover on.

[@yazbasarslan]

in turkey (where im from) periods are referred as "special days" on tv for ads for pads and i just thought they were talking about weddings and stuff. i was so confused as to why women would have to wear pads on their special days to be comfortable. took me a couple years to realize they were talking about periods.

[@emmablunt8394]

Thank GOD YOU'RE BACK I've lost all track of time and space without Taco Tuesday

[@chemextin74]

Lmao Ben i can relate. When I was probably around 4 yo my mom had mentioned to herself that she needed to shave her upper lip and i guess i paid extra attention lmao cause later that evening my uncle was talking to my mom and i interrupted them and asked him "hey do you have a razor? My mom needs it to shave her mustache" hahahahh

[@felisa957]

Cristine talking about her Grandpa drinking coffee and driving is so wholesome 😌☕️

[@fatimak7825]

Cristine!!! Idea: react to your home videos on simplynotlogical so that the audio only listeners can witness the glory

[@ceciliatapioca]

YES!! I’m just dying over baby Cristine. 🥰

[@sophie709]

Not me laughing out loud while listening to this at work

[@LoveCrumb]

I took a sip of water right when Cristine said "The M-Files" and I snorted water out of my nose for the first time in about 15 years. Thank you for the laughs!

[@Anom_Ali]

I was called to the front of math class in 10th grade for wearing a tank top with a sweater tank top over it and jeans (I know, weird fashion choice). I also was not developed or exposing myself in any way. The teacher said that she "could not let me" be in math class dressed like I was. I felt so unnecessarily sexualized and targeted as well. Of course other girls got away with showing more skin. She told me to go to the office and call my mom to take me home to change. I told her that if I called my mom to take me home I would not be returning to school that day. My mom took me to work instead. I worked as a receptionist at a law office. I wore what I wore to school that day. Oh, and I graduated as the valedictorian.

[@carissa7902]

Kanata Wave Pool was one of my favourite places to go as a kid! I can't believe it also happens to be the location of Ben's most embarrassing moment!

[@mutantmonkey2301]

All of that embarrassment could’ve been prevented with Ethan’s 5% 🖖🏻

[@beeuhtwix]

😂😂😂

[@katie18976]

What is that? #clueless 😄😅

[@mutantmonkey2301]

@@katie18976 It’s what Trisha Paytas wanted so bad she divided a family and quit frenemies 🙊

[@honeyr5847]

The super simp squad is back again!

[@India.R120]

Interestingly enough, while listening to this I realized that all the scars on my face are the result of other people. When I was younger (maybe 10 or so) and some other kid had pushed me over while I was ice skating, for example, I have a small scar on the bottom of my chin from that.

[@robinwalia5361]

What a great episode! Absolutely one of my most favorites. Want a part 2 soon! ❤️😂

[@JennRighter]

Aww, that Tati shout out was sweet.

[@spoonmerlin]

When they were discussing the m files script I kept thinking of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp from 1970s. So not the craziest idea someone might have produced that.

[@joaninhasousa6965]

This is the best video ever, I laughed so hard I cried. I really needed that today. Thank you so much 🥰💖

[@randomharts]

I want a stop animation of Ben’s M Files…can’t wait to see it🥰

[@JoJo-fm4ub]

thanks for these podcasts guys!!! they really make my Tuesdays so much better

[@Bonbon-yv8tx]

I love these podcasts so much XD something to revise to

[@auzangelful]

This was by far THE best one of the series! And you literally saved the best for last - Ben's brilliant discovery of the tear duct 😅😅

[@nailartbyreka]

This was a really good one. Thank you guys!

[@Lilyibanez]

Best prak ever: photoshop your baby to have a broken leg and show them when they turn 16.... I'll go home now.

[@jayess4]

What I want to know is the tea behind Cristine’s former club/party/drinking days. I need answers!

[@tragicallysarah7623]

Quite possibly the funniest, most entertaining episode yet. 😄 Granted, I'm still working through them but OMG I hope there is more M Files to be read! Pure gold! 👏👏👏

[@sillymunchkins4life]

I can relate to some of your childhood memories specifically the ones with injuries. Thank you Cristine and Ben for sharing your moments with us because it took me back to memory lane. 😊💿💿💿💿💿💿

[@misspiece22]

I had the EXACT thoughts about drinking and driving when i was younger and also confronted my Mom for "drinking" while driving. (A fountain soda). Glad i'm not alone!!

[@unruidodefondo]

LOOOOOL i just laughed crying to the M Files pilot episode 🤣🤣🤣

[@JessBarnhart44]

Cristine dancing and twirling around with Jen in the back baby twerking with the fireplace made my heart and soul SO HAPPY 💛

[@settheworldonfire94]

I’m a teacher, and I choose to ignore the school dress code. I teach elementary, but they do wear uniforms at my school - khaki or navy pants, shorts, skirts, or jumpers, and any color polo top. I don’t care what they wear as long as they’re at school. If their top isn’t dress code, I ask the kids to wear a jacket or sweater in the halls so they don’t get in trouble, but I otherwise don’t bother.