Emily Gilmore manipulates everyone in season 4 | Part 1

[@tiyabear]

Emily’s one of those parents who thinks because she’s a parent she can say and do whatever she wants towards her child, even when they’re an adult. She disregards the most basic boundaries and then plays the victim when Lorelei keeps her at an arms length. What reasonable person would want to put up with her behavior? It makes sense that poverty seemed like a better alternative to living with Emily and Richard.

[@TheLoonyBird]

💯

[@Iamjustherek]

The worst part is when Lorelei DOES let her walls down and listen to her mother she’s IMMEDIATELY proven right to be suspicious.

[@angelaholmes8888]

Yep

[@not-a-ghost2206]

And when the Walls do come up again Emily wonders and wonders what she could have done but she doesn't reflect truly on that question because then everything would fall tumbling down

[@marlenaeva3813]

It's heartbreaking to see that, right?

[@karenveatrice6478]

I hate that Emily always saw Rory as a do over it's like emily saw Rory as a daughter not granddaughter

[@kierralovestv]

She doesn’t even try to hide it either it’s so clear

[@promisemochi]

and then would try to oust loreli and make it seem like her word was what mattered when it came to raising rory as a teenager and not loreli. one scene i hate is when dean honks and she makes them all wait for him to come to the door. yeah i'm slightly old school when it comes to manners (thanks southern upbringing lol) and i do agree the guy should always come to the door BUT rory even says they agreed he'd honk and she'd come outside. that was the agreed arrangement. but nope, emily decided everyone needed to sit and wait, even in loreli's house, and her word was law.

[@jackiesliterarycorner]

What's worse is that she does get Rory as her little doll in season 6, and when Rory goes crying to them about Yale and the internship failure. Then we get the famous freudian slip of Emily saying "Just wait until we talk to your father!" Paraphrasing. Rory does put Emily in her place.

[@andreelovetrue]

One of the biggest examples of this was in the emily in wonderland ep when she re-decorate Lorelai’s childhood bedroom to make it Rory’s

[@oooh19]

A lot of people are like this sadly

[@katevenhorst1723]

Totally agree Emily’s weird feelings toward Pennolynn are rooted in her own messed up jealously HOWEVER it’s totally unacceptable of Richard to hide the fact that he’s been having secret lunches with his almost wife for decades. But these issues are 100% marital and in no way Lorelai’s fault. As usual, Emily’s default is to place blame elsewhere.

[@Sophie-qg9gw]

I feel like Lorelai really had to deal with Emily when it comes to Rory. It’s almost like Emily wanted to prove to Lorelai that she could be a better Grandmother/ mother figure to Rory. Like Emily got her furniture for Yale, Emily got her clothes for chilton, Emily threw her a birthday party multiple times. On the surface if you hear that you think “ Wow Emily is really supporting Rory.” But really she’s using this to manipulate them. Rory’s bad at setting boundaries when it comes to Emily. That’s why when Rory’s does speak up, Emily just shames Lorelai for being a bad mom. At least that’s what I think.

[@Nyllllle5553i]

Well said

[@MarieTheOstrich]

Emily hates Jason because of Richards "he wants to get back at his father" comment. It reminds her of how Lorelei rebelled and eventually run away -so she automatically rejects him.

[@inkakoutna7155]

It's such a paranoid way of living when you KNOW that behind every word or action of your parents could be a hidden agenda. I am very glad that I don't have to deal with that anymore and it's so nice to see Lorelei be aware of this manipulation but not use it on others like her mother does

[@VSammy456]

I love your analysis. Often times, Rory is seen as spoiled and a horrible person, but I think it is so much more complicated than that. She is the “golden child” of narcissistic abuse from Emily and Richard and has to often deal with the slippery slope of Emily and Lorelei’s relationship.

[@ChrisCat7]

Emily is so threatened by Pennilyn Lott because Emily “took” Richard from Pennilyn. Richard was engaged to Pennilyn, wedding invitations had been mailed out, before Emily came in the picture. This is mentioned in the episode where they go to tour Yale S3E8. She’s always been in competition with Pennilyn. Emily also made Richard propose before he was ready to because she couldnt control when he was going pop the question.

[@kierralovestv]

Richard is so spineless

[@lesbiangoddess290]

@@kierralovestv he's basically elastagirl

[@kierralovestv]

😂😂😂😂

[@kierralovestv]

With her fine ass 💀

[@Iamjustherek]

@@kierralovestvborn and bred by the OG Lorelei lmao

[@marlenaeva3813]

I have narcissistic parents and recognize their behaviors in Emily. I know exactly why Emily is doing what she's doing. Buying furniture for her grand daughter is like Emily doing Rory a 'favor' so that she can, later on tell her 'We've always been there for you, helping you out, buying you things, paying for your school..and for that you should treat us with respect.' But, oops, Emily later on she says these exact words to Rory (if I'm not wrong). It's a tactic to keep the victim in a state of (co) dependency and guilt. That way, Rory cannot back away from the relationship. Of course, the furniture is also there as a reminder of Rory's superiority over her room mates. Which is wrong but, hey, tell that to a narcissist and they'll think it's the most normal thing in the world.

[@M.A.Y.Y]

There is a whole community of people who think that Lorelai likes to pretend to have mommy issues and that emily was such a great mom They should look at this video Absolute perfection Kierra coming through with immaculate videos again🤧

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

Its hard to change when your parent refuses to change or to even acknowledge that they did anything wrong. It is hard when they are passive agressive, petty, and gaslight you. I appreciate the compassion message 🙏 😊

[@Eph_Wilson]

Lol, Emily was so PATHOLOGICALLY protective of her status as a wife and every aspect of it that she of course had to dive down Pennilyn's throat. It's the same routine as with Lorelai. Whenever she feels a family member even SLIGHTLY undermines her role in the family, she squares up and comes at them with everything she's got until they give in. Like a lot of complicated people, being convinced that she's the victim lets her justify all sorts of asshole behavior. Love the video, always great to hear your thoughts on these!

[@lesbiangoddess290]

thank you for validating my deep concerns about Mrs Emily Gilmore

[@angelaholmes8888]

I had to cut ties with my father because of his drug addiction and also because he was at times emotionally and verbally abusive Still to this day he has never taken accountability for his behavior

[@kierralovestv]

That f*cking sucks I’m sorry that’s your experience cutting ties with a parent is hard

[@angelaholmes8888]

@@kierralovestv yes it's hard but so necessary for me my mental health was awful when he was around

[@kierralovestv]

I can understand that. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better 💞

[@megamapple01]

I do feel like Richard was so in the wrong for not telling Emily that they were having lunch all these years, like why would you lie??

[@chrystianaw8256]

Fr

[@OfficialSTJones]

Yes!! This is my favorite season so can’t wait to hear this one! 🎉I agree. I felt bad for Emily too when her party got cancelled but it’s one of the very few times I sympathize with her.

[@kierralovestv]

!!!! Heavy on the “few times I sympathize with her”

[@kristy_Henry]

my Favorite season, too, so very curious😊

[@OfficialSTJones]

@@kierralovestvright? 😂 maybe the only time other than possibly in A Year in Life when she’s dealing with Richard’s passing and then the two times he’s in the hospital in the original.

[@ariavenger]

it seems to me that the issue with penalene might be because of the way emily and richard got together. It seems richard was with penalene before emily. perhaps there was some overlap there. i'm sure emily probably wouldn't like to be reminded of how she got richard, since this kinda paints her in a negative light, and we all know how much emily values her image

[@lilyclay7489]

As usual an amazing video, but what you say in the end about being disappointed when get triggers by toxic behaviors is so real. Tbh I’ve never heard someone put it into words like that. Ty for sharing ur wisdom 💕

[@ashleyargueta4003]

BABE WAKE UP KIERRA POSTED !!!

[@kierralovestv]

This was very sweet thank you 💗

[@mintkit1064]

Thank you so much for the words at the end. I feel like I try so hard with how far I've come and always end up mad at myself when I get back in the negative headspace.

[@Diana-0312]

in my opinion I feel like Rory and Emily are very similar both made many horrible mistake and I hate how Rory only gets hate for it but the reason that I hate Emily more is that she is a grown woman making mistake

[@kierralovestv]

This is exactly my point.

[@Diana-0312]

@@kierralovestvyea definitely, both of them are very privileged but Rory acts she’s all humble and didn’t get the things she has because of her grandparents which is pathetic and the opposite of her mother who has worked hard for the things she has

[@promisemochi]

yesss!!! everyone says rory is a mini loreli but no, rory is a mini EMILY! all her faults are emily's too in some capacity. her vulnerabilities and anxieties as well. same words, different font. and i think that's why she and loreli clashed so much later on in her life. loreli's values were very different from rory's. you can see that when rory sleeps with dean and says "he's my dean" and loreli tells her no, he's not her dean anymore. that posession, that entitlement. if she wants it, it's hers and she's entitled to it. so many pieces are clicking together right now for me lol

[@angelaholmes8888]

Yes rory is similar to Emily

[@sanjanahari2669]

I was waiting for this video!!!! I love it. Your observations is so nuanced, and vocalized my feelings on each scene perfectly. I felt that maybe I was reading too much into them but this proves otherwise. Sometimes manipulation really is subtle.

[@roguecodes]

Sitting down to dinner and putting this video on as my treat! Amazing work as usual ❤

[@maggiedk]

Omg Kierra, have you seen Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? I think you'll love it 💖 it deals a lot with healing from trauma and extremely toxic parents, while also being hilarious. And it's a musical (which I love, but I know that's not everyone's cup of tea 😅). It's one of my favorite shows of all time and I highly recommend it.

[@Keylime9554]

Been loving listening to these vids while I do housework, thank you so much for the consistent uploads!! 👏 you’re amazing

[@kierralovestv]

Tysm for coming back ♥️

[@elmirasmiscellaneous1129]

You know, when I was watching the show for the first time (a few years ago), I couldn't point out all the manipulation of Emily Gilmore. I could see some of her flaws but not to the extensive detail you do. You do a fantastic job in pointing out all the manipulation. I need to rewatch the show and watch your videos again. You have a very sharp eye to discern subtle manipulation. It would be perfect if you talk about manipulation in general or in other shows as well. 👌🏼

[@kierralovestv]

Thank you love the way Emily operates is a level of manipulation I’m so familiar with I’ve got so much experience with people like Emily so I think that makes it easier to see where the manipulation starts. Thank you again for watching them ♥️

[@elmirasmiscellaneous1129]

@@kierralovestv yes, I can tell and you're welcome. 😊

[@lovealexxxx3491]

Wow, I’m rewatching this show for the first time and I liked Emily and saw where she was coming from and also Lorelai. But season 4-5 came and I felt so triggered. Everything you said was spot on, I just can’t believe I was this blindsided in my second watching of this show when the manipulation tactics are just like my moms. I actually can relate to Lorelai a lot more than I realize, I forgot that I too had to stop contact with my mom for a while and even that gets used against you like a weapon instead of a talking point to heal the relationship 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Animefreak242]

No. The way Emily treats Rory in the first episode of season 4 makes absolute sense. Emily is so used to acting as she sees best and moving her loved ones in advantageous positions. She knows that it's rude and presumptuous to redecorate the dorm, but she also knows that Rory is a doormat of a person who will let others steamroll her and take advantage of her so she redecorated to assert Rory as the boss. She did this a lot with her own daughter until Lorelei got old enough and acted out and in opposition. We see Rory doing the same thing her mother ended up doing as a child much later on in season 4 and then in season 5.

[@NatalieGarciaMayor]

Emily really wants to have Lorelai around. They are doing the whole show dont say thing. And for Emily to say out loud that she does want Lorelai around would be very out of character. E can't be seen as vulnerable

[@melsincas]

I TOTALLY understand Rory's anxiety. Rory's an avid people pleaser, moreover she aims for the aproval of people she admires. she is knowingly confronting Emily, who she greatly admires and aims to please. Of course she's anxious (although that's crazy and no one should be this nervous to say their true, nonetheless when talking to their grandmother). Sorry for the broken english

[@Isatheoneandonly]

Ahhhh I love your videos so muchhh

[@kierralovestv]

Thank you!

[@iyanalovejoy6786]

The beginning of this video was very much needed and I needed to hear it. A lot you said is too accurate

[@paulinaschmitz4738]

The Bunny macDougal reference killed me hahahahaha

[@angelaholmes8888]

Emily was wrong to say that lorelai shouldn't be at the game god I can't stand Emily she's truly a toxic person

[@smcaaz1966]

Imagine a Emily and Bunny crossover?

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

I felt, at first, Emily being nosy was just trying to make up for all the years she missed in their lives and got carried away. However, it became more than that when kept pushing and pushing. Maybe she wanted Lorelai’s community because she did not feel that at home, but she is not obligated to know Sooki’s due date. They don’t know each other. They are not friends.

[@Gingergeenie]

I’ve just got to say! I love these gg videos and your explanation and ideas are just so lovely. ❤❤

[@AMomWithRocksAndBooks]

As always, I LOVE your GG content. As someone with a manipulative family member, I GET it when Lorelai seems to take things too far in keeping things from Emily.

[@yeetyeetskrt5627]

In regarts to Penalyn, Lorelai was also immature she knew that talking to her would make her mother mad. She just wasnt aware how serious it would get. Lorelai is the mirror to her mother, the other sign of the coin. She also fails as a mother in the opposed way, she is also toxic but we love her because we see more of her point of view. Emily sufferd from her husbands family, Lorelai suffered from her own family, but in her 40s she wasnt healed, she didnt even try to heal she just kept running away. After 18 (or 16 for Lorelai) your problems is YOURS only. Rory is a brat because of Lorelai, Emily and Richart. Yes Lorelai played a role in her daughters persomnality and ethics. She is just as but as her mother, thats why the story ends in a circle. Emily in the end heal and reclaim her life, because the cause of her trauma, Richart died. I believe Lorelai will do the same when Emily dies. Its time to stop making excuses why Lorelai in her 30s and 40s wasnt even trying to overcome her emotional immaturity. Thsts my opinion, and sorry for my bad grammar.

[@user-ru8ew6qs8s]

i would actually love if you made a video talking about emily, laila, and shekeb from i love a mama’s boy because they were all throwing me off 😂 your opinion would be so interesting to me

[@Vampjier420]

The day my husband said my mother was just like Emily was one of the most validating days! He thinks she may have been taking notes all those years we watched together 😂

[@a.d.rmarie7895]

Love your videos ❤

[@Foxy13Loxy]

omg i think Emily would try to find a redeeming quality in Bunny McD. those 2 would 100% butt heads if they met in a shared universe. lol

[@melsincas]

The beef with pamelyn lott is due to Emily being an outsider when compared to her in the eyes of the great matriarc of Richards family. Pamilyn lott is not only richard's old bo, she represents who Emily will never be: effordlessly correct to the eyes of Gran. Ok, now i'm done commenting this video (or am I?)

[@ebonyjohnson5048]

Big up to Shiels!!!!!!!!!

[@MountainsoftheHeart]

Emily Gilmore would compare Bunny McDougal to Trix

[@zoelopez1426]

I have agoraphobia!!!

[@poorpluto94]

I kind of get why she doesn’t like pennalyn lot though

[@melsincas]

Kiera, would you be my mommy?!

[@transrightsbaybee]

💖

[@emilygallagher6200]

This show made me hate my name lmao 😅

[@greekgay8822]

I hate Lorelai and Rory but Rory is better their both just such hypocrites and think that Rory is the best when she’s not she couldn’t even get a job