Christian Women vs Birth Control 💊

[@940351579]

The way Defined says "babies" screams delusional teen pregnancy. "We can have babies and dress them up and it will be soooooo cute" It just feels like there is a huge difference between "I want to have kids/children" vs "I want babies."

[@rudra62]

Have a baby.... Okay, do you want a toddler, a preschooler, a school child, a pre-teen, an adolescent, a teenager, an adult child? If the answer isn't a resounding YES to all of those, you don't want a baby.

[@jamesparson]

@@rudra62 You forgot to add, adult child who doesn't want to live anything like you do.

[@rudra62]

@@jamesparson Oh, those children are disowned, ordered to leave (if they are teenagers), and forgotten about. That's why you need spare children - odds are that at least one will like to live as you do if you have enough of them.

[@aripinkberry1810]

That’s the way that those girls are meant to think of babies. I’ve always kind of thought there has to be a reason why my mom always wanted a child, but honestly whenever I ask her, her only answer is that I just always thought they were so cute and I wanted my own to play with and dress up. I’ve always thought that that was just an infantilized version of the story but now I’m convinced that it might actually be the reality of it. she always wanted at least two but according to her, God only gave me one because you know that’s how they comfort themselves.

[@8114梦见]

@@rudra62 THANK YOU! I don't get peoples' obsession with babies. It's not a question of wanting a cute "bundle of joy", its a question of whether you want to be responsible for the life and well-being of another human being for the rest of your life. It is a huge responsibility.

[@bsdetector6644]

"...teaching women how to be girls" was the most accurate description I've ever heard to describe that channel's motivation.

[@FeministCatLadySpinster]

"Their entire thing is teaching women how to be girls." All these years I was baffled by who their target audience was. It makes so much sense now.

[@th-ck9vl]

You missed the point. She meant that literally, not girl being a synonym. Teaching women how to be like children basically. Helpless and obedient.

[@Nx2.1]

Women can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants on her own terms, just like the universe.

[@FeministCatLadySpinster]

@@th-ck9vl Yes. Hence my post. :)

[@roninforge]

@@Nx2.1 and who ever she wants

[@humanperson318]

@@th-ck9vl seems like you’re the one who missed the point of this comment

[@coleford4258]

As a husband and parent it really bothers me that so many people imply that you don't have a "family" until you have a baby. I absolutely loathe the implication that a husband and wife don't constitute a family unit on their own (or any other combination of people regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity in an intentional life partnership situation). It's anecdotal but mine and my wife's experience was very disheartening when we struggled through the early years of our marriage with finances/housing/education/mental health/etc. just to have people ask us on the other side "when are you starting a family?" I don't care what the intentions behind that sort of phrasing is. It's fallacious, and can be very hurtful. Also, you can build a family of peers that is every bit as "strong" or as "bonded" as any blood family can be. We have some friends who are intentionally childless, and aren't related to us by blood, but the way they care for and include my daughter as part of their family is as "real" as any other genetic family relationships could ever be. Sorry for the rant.

[@catsaresocute650]

That's actually an incredebly beutifull rant

[@junomonsoon]

You don't have to apologize for the rant. You're right and you should say it

[@aegisgolem6817]

Best rant I’ve ever read, 10/10, and I think you are totally correct and valid

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

❤

[@Kai-vn3hq]

This is a beautiful rant that I didn’t know I needed to hear from someone else. Thank you, and please don’t apologize, I’m sure many people reading this feel a lot better because of it. Thank you ❤️

[@billbrock8547]

My wife and I have decided that we don't want to have children. We're going to tell them when they get home from school.

[@yoyosworld2773]

That’s gonna be a shock to them 😂😂

[@oldschoolman1444]

😂

[@MinnieTricks]

My wife (f) and I (m) planned the traditional; her at home and me at work. After our first child she realised she wasn't suited to stay at home so we switched it up. I loved being a stay-at-home parent and she loved her career. It worked beautifully for us!

[@qjtvaddict]

Try over employment

[@lizcollinson2692]

@@qjtvaddict what's that? Sounds like a poor work life balance, that can result in child neglect (not legal neglect, just not as much attention as healthy)

[@GaySatanicClowns]

These people don't realize that family is personalized. Everyone is different, and there isn't one right way to have a family.

[@kyoneko87]

Good on you!

[@asteros_]

Good for you!!

[@pliskin101]

"The woman can have some birth control. As a treat" Love this Bible quote.

[@rainbowkrampus]

And on the third day God said, "It's Wednesday my dudes." And it was good

[@tatiana4050]

I don't even understand it. It's not like sex is better with the condom on. Or on the pill.

[@wintergray1221]

Must be in Psalms.

[@cainen6355]

@@rainbowkrampus "On wednesday, my dude shall give her birth control!" but he sounded the warning "yet on all the other days within the week, thy wife shalt not receive it!" *Note from god: I kept the last one quite vague so you can just interpret anything, you don't want to give her into it later.*

[@riseagain845]

Birth control is a sometimes snack.

[@gensanitygames]

I was listening to this with my partner and I realized that they said not to worry about the budget for a child because "babies are eternal"... which we interpreted as "it doesn't matter if you can't keep your baby alive, as long as you have babies, because they'll live forever somewhere!!!"

[@BearlyAwake13]

What an especially horrifying but logical interpretation

[@KreeZafi]

Or a slightly less horrific but still very awful interpretation: it doesn't matter if the child suffers in life due to poverty or parents who aren't capable of properly caring for them, because they'll be rewarded in heaven. It's honestly pretty sickening how religion is used to justify suffering. Same as how it was used centuries ago to keep the peasants in check so they wouldn't revolt against the rich kings and churches - don't worry, it doesn't matter that you're a poor and miserable farmer who will spend your entire life doing hard manual labor with barely anything to show for it, because after you die you'll be rewarded in heaven! Convenient way to make people accept earthly suffering.

[@heyidaroo]

This is VERY telling of them. These women are so privileged that “budgeting” for a child meant making material sacrifices like buying a less fancy car, buying less clothing, getting a cheaper gym membership, or going on one fewer trip. Therefore they think that anyone who isn’t having children for financial reasons is just not wanting to give up material items. They’re so privileged and so in their bubble, they can’t even conceptualize that some people genuinely can’t afford to have children, and some can barely afford the children they currently have.

[@TheMatthooks]

Creepy isn't it.

[@heyidaroo]

@@TheMatthooks the fact that they say “babies” and not “human beings,” “people,” or even “children” shows that to these people, babies are objects to them

[@amandamandamands]

Imagine telling someone with endo or PCOS that they shouldn't go on birth control because they will mess with your hormones. I know someone who was put on continual birth control (no breaks) because they would get ovarian cysts and the way to not have them grow and burst was birth control.

[@Eric_01]

Kinda shoots the whole gift from god idea right in the face. Why would any woman suffer any productive mishaps, ever, if all is to be a protected gift from god.

[@Luubelaar]

And I know someone who had a rare form of infertility and essentially went onto hormonal birth control in order to get pregnant.

[@ookamiblade6318]

I'm asexual, no intention to ever have sex, and I'm on daily birth control for endometriosis and other period related issues. I wonder how they would address me.

[@Maximillion012]

@@ookamiblade6318 Hello fellow ace. I suppose it depends on whether they see an AFAB’s only goal as do have babies. I know some groups do believe there are those who are called to be single. But many believe it is a given that you will be married and have children, and anything else is sinful.

[@jessiegraham2237]

I just had major surgery for giant endo cysts and am now on birth control to prevent further issues because more surgeries would kill me. All because of endo. I'll keep my birth control thanks.

[@beriukay]

If I had christian mentors who asked if I was worried about being infertile in the future, I'd look them dead in their eye sockets and say, "I find your lack of faith disturbing"

[@savanaashleigh626]

This is gold

[@qjtvaddict]

You think it’s just faith?? Lol

[@TheRealLucifer_Morningstar]

In my best James Earl Jones voice. 👍😳👍

[@KireiC]

Best response lmao

[@j.c.2240]

"no, it was god's plan for me to need birth control to live, so if it makes me infertile, that's his plan too" Turn their arguments against them. Watch them stammer for an answer.

[@OtseisRagnarok]

Emma getting flustered about Candace liking it raw was hilarious.

[@today273]

me

[@DarkFleurofIra]

I mean, it's not something you normally hear from extreme christians; epically since GD and their associates tend to shame anyone for even _thinking_ about physical affection

[@kaykii8834]

I almost spit my food out when I herd that part !

[@txellblanxer9060]

You know, she gets it all…Candice I mean. And that makes her closer to her God and to her Master

[@txellblanxer9060]

@@gluehfunke1547 I think is the fact of getting everything out of her husband inside her. You know what I mean. That's what's turning her on. The extra juice

[@tifftastic87]

I was raised this way, I also had extreme pain and unpredictability but when I complained to my mom she said told me that was normal and I needed to quit being so sensitive. Imagine my face when a nurse at Planned Parenthood told me there were options. I was in severe pain for 10 years of my life before I got any relief. What you're saying about the fear of bc and abortion is real. I had to explain to my mother, who was 52 at the time, how the pill worked and that it wasn't just aborting all fertilized eggs because that is what she was taught by her pastor. Imagine.

[@thewhitefalcon8539]

even if it did do that, who cares?

[@tifftastic87]

@@thewhitefalcon8539 fundamental and fundamental adjacent Christians. particularly evangelicals

[@dalailarose1596]

"Babies are a reward from the lord" Oh cool, so god prefers Bethany over her infertile sister? 🤔

[@jonharris2135]

Honestly, they probably think so…

[@dorkangel1076]

The difference between a "reward" and a "curse" is entirely down to whether you want it or not.

[@irrelevant_noob]

@Dalaila Rose well god clearly plays favourites, i thought genesis made that abundantly clear. ^^

[@ferox965]

To a Christopath, that's exactly it.

[@AlexB-ru2lu]

Hrm just wondering... if they are a reward from the lord, how come so many people GD would clearly condemn for living an "ungodly life" have BABIEEES? What is he rewarding them for ? Volunteering to be pointed out as bad examples?

[@Matuse]

The reason it sounds creepy when you try to describe it is because it's deeply creepy and there's no other way to describe it.

[@bethanythatsme]

One of the first markers of my deconstruction, was how I was treated after it became public knowledge in the congregation that I'd be unable to have children. (I didn't know it was anyone's business, but the women in that church had no autonomy, so I should've guessed.) I was damaged goods and no longer thought of as "wife material." Decades later, I'm a happily never married, pan sexual, atheist who very much appreciates your channel. (Imagine I'd they'd known that I'd been on birth control since age 14 to treat endometriosis 😳)

[@14beans]

Wow . . . glad you escaped that Jesus cult. Congrats honey. and f*ck endo.

[@apricot8301]

It is crazy how disconnected from reality they are. They think everyone is living a perfect life with perfect relationships and laws should be made with that in mind.

[@heyidaroo]

The fact that they’re so passé about budgeting for children shows how deep in their rich girl bubbles they are. For them, budgeting for a child meant buying a less fancy car or fewer trips to the mall. They genuinely can’t conceptualize that many people literally can’t afford kids

[@j.c.2240]

@@heyidaroo I'd bet money that if these two were told to share a story about financial hardships, they'd tell about how one time, they had to use a coupon in whole foods

[@littleghostfilms3012]

Why do the most uninformed, misinformed, naive, stupid people have so much confidence in their own opinions and feel they need to guide others on the right path? That's really just a rhetorical question and obviously unanswerable. Thanks Emma for being a consistent light and voice exposing these foolish folks for what they are!!!

[@rainbowkrampus]

Dunning-Kreuger. The effect may be overblown, but damned if people like this don't prove that it has some relevance.

[@lidbass]

Because (in this case) they genuinely think that they are saving others from the firey fires of hell. Or possibly the frosty fires of hell. But generally, hell.

[@JohnWaaland]

@@lidbass Yea, why not a frosty kinda hell.......that way you could at least sneak some food in and it would be preserved for a much longer period instead of being barbecued to a crisp right off⁉️ Maybe sneak in a sweater too‼️ 😳

[@yoyosworld2773]

@@JohnWaaland why did I immediately think of an “ugly sweater contest” with Satan as a judge 😂😂

[@oldschoolman1444]

Their silly! The Websters dictionary I have defines silly as being obtuse coupled with smug complacency. =)

[@syderosparky2084]

The part about them being mean to their friends. That is exactly how these kind of people are. They grow up watching their parents judge other people, and it makes them judge others just as much. They will grow up believing it is okay to point fingers at anyone who they feel isn't "christian" enough for them. I grew up in places with people like this.

[@today273]

The part about them being mean to their friends was excellently said, like the chemical marker of this specific mean girl was communicated thru verbal description. It was also said very funny and maid me think of a Trevor Noah skit.

[@anothernightonmars]

That's how I was raised, in a state of constantly reinforced superiority. It took me a long time to see it for what it was.

[@anonymoussaga8723]

And the funny thing is that, for all they talk about how wonderful their lives are, that judgement betrays deep insecurity. Generally speaking, people who are fulfilled and satisfied with their lives do not judge others like this. The more unfulfilled and dissatisfied a person is with their life, the stronger the need to find others they can look down on.

[@katrinam6795]

They peobably get fingers pointed at them too so

[@moosepocalypse6500]

I find asking other people about their "fertility" particularly when they've decided to not have children, or to have them later, is extremely creepulent 😱

[@seraphjohanson3402]

It’s honestly hilarious and sad that so many of these women don’t know that they have a kink. It doesn’t feel “right” and “better” because of God, babe. You. Have. A. Kink.

[@PhullyNo1]

I kind of understand what you’re saying, but not completely. So the kink is god watching?

[@irrelevant_noob]

@@PhullyNo1 the kink is a mere breeding fetish. They just like it better when raw. ;-)

[@PhullyNo1]

@@irrelevant_noob haha, ah okay. Thanks for the clarification.

[@MomoKehinde]

@@PhullyNo1 wait can you explain it to me?

[@PhullyNo1]

@@MomoKehinde why did the person’s response not show up? There was nothing in it to be censored.

[@zenithquasar9623]

I love how casual she was about her kids' possibility of going to hell forever ....wow!

[@ND-nr6mx]

but that's so great, because it's eternal!! :-)

[@justinchan8868]

@@ND-nr6mx yea, according to them, anything eternal is good

[@bookshelfhoney]

Seasonal barrier methods? Oh like pumpkin spice condoms

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

With whipped cream and nutmeg

[@johannamorgan9430]

OMG, I just laughed out loud! Top comment IMO. 😂😂😂

[@josephiajanke9850]

Where are these condoms !?!?

[@KellyDVance]

I think that if Candace had struggled more with getting pregnant she wouldn't have felt so "spiritual" about it. After the first 12 months of trying to get pregnant, the only reason my husband and I felt "connected" during sex was it was a slog we were getting through together. Three years of tracking, timing, having sex on a schedule, going to doctors, crying at every birth announcement my friends had (and the subsequent guilt for feeling jealous) did nothing to make us feel closer or more "spiritual". We did eventually find out what was wrong and how to fix it, but it was through evidence based medical intervention; not some homeopathic b.s.

[@raptorcrasherinc.9823]

I am glad you and your husband were able to figure it out.

[@KellyDVance]

@@raptorcrasherinc.9823 Thank you. Once we finally found someone to run the right tests it was an easy fix. Though I did ask my husband if he felt more "spiritually connected" to me and he laughed and said, "if anything I felt more detached and clinical." And if there is anything that gets a girl going, it is being told that the act of getting pregnant makes their partner detached and clinical. 🤣

[@KireiC]

Omg, no kidding. It's easy to feel "mystic and magic" when something "comes naturally" and far less so when it becomes a troubleshooting, try-try-again slog. So happy you were able to figure out the fertility challenges. :)

[@infinitedragonbellyx.x]

You make it sound like the only reason you get intimate with your husband, is to make a bay. Thats its awful otherwise. Thats fking depressing.

[@KellyDVance]

@@infinitedragonbellyx.x than you misunderstood the situation. Prior to actively trying to have a baby we didn't feel that way. Now that we have had our child we don't feel that way. But when you have actively tried for 18 months with nothing, then start tracking every cycle, testing any time you are a week late, and then go on medication, things aren't exactly happy bouncy fun time. It is a mission.

[@lisacrum7767]

I'm going to write this before I even finish the video because I already know I'm going to get heated. Birth control saved my life 1000%. I have PMDD and every month I would get extremely extremely depressed. Birth control is the only proven method to deal with my condition. I'd love to find an alternative one day but it works great for me now.

[@8114梦见]

Glad that it works so well for you. I used to have terribly irregular cycles, on top of being bed-ridden with pain and vomiting several days out of every month. The pill absolutely solved these problems for me, and I am so grateful for it.

[@lizcollinson2692]

I have been on a certain type of birth control since I was 20 to combat anemia, caused by bloodless greater than my ability to absorb iron. And a different type prior from 17-20, diagnosed ( we suspect )very late at 17. Birth control is used to treat a variety of womens health issues, by managing thier cycles, and its effects on their body.

[@kellharris2491]

I don't understand how some some Christians are so against medicine. I mean God created all things including medicine.

[@lunatechdesignsmedia]

@@kellharris2491 it goes the same as people who trust in science won't take any natural supplements. There is ignorance on both sides.

[@JaiaV]

"Damage from hormonal birth control." - Citation Needed.

[@blueredingreen]

Women are so intentional in other parts of their lives and then they don't know about kids? Yeah, it's almost as if having kids is a rather big life-long decision that's not for everyone and you shouldn't just jump into it without being sure it's actually something you want.

[@sophiathekitty]

I dunno... The way she said "my mentor came to visit and asked when I'm gonna have babies" and the implication that they scrapped their life plans to start having babies..... That's massive cult vibes.

[@mjjoe76]

Maybe it’s based on my experience in the working world, but shouldn’t a mentor be a person who helps you reach *your* goals and plans? This “mentor” wants to define the goals. That’s a toxic recipe for regret and unhappiness.

[@SabertoothedTiger69]

Having thought I had a mentor, this comment made me realize I didn't Thank you

[@mjjoe76]

@@SabertoothedTiger69 Sorry you didn’t have a mentor after all. I’m sure you will find one.

[@SabertoothedTiger69]

@@mjjoe76 Thank you I hope that both sides of your pillow are always cold and good luck always follows you 🖤

[@Eric_01]

@@SabertoothedTiger69 Just curious, why is a mentor necessary at all? Don't people simply have their own wants and desires for their life?

[@SabertoothedTiger69]

@@Eric_01 I currently don't need one, but I do appreciate the well wishes I think mentorship can be beneficial if someone lacks direction or isn't in a position where they can easily achieve their goals. Like an older sibling who has been where you are and WANTS to see you succeed I come from a fundie background in which "mentorship" was a common word thrown around but never defined. It's an easy pit to fall into if you have daddy/mommy issues (and I have both woo) So I once thought someone's mentorship would bring me closer to the god I believed in at the time And twice believed I was having a path lit for me so I could be at my best in order to grow in career and as a person. I was a mere ego boost and trophy to both and I'm aware of that now It would be nice to have someone older than me that is in touch with reality and good advice. But I'm just learning from reddit, KZbin, and therapy these days

[@roeliethegoat]

I haven't watched the full video yet, but I'm 99 percent sure they're going to compare hormonal birthcontrol to abortion.

[@today273]

Yes They did

[@iloveplasticbottles]

Probably, because they don't know the difference.

[@isray89]

Yet $10 says they won't address trying to "save" the zygotes that just don't implant.

[@joachimschoder]

It's probably because if you have a strong opinion on a topic actually learning anything about it isn't really necessary since you already know that you are right. They "know" that abortion is wrong in every single case. So adding new information could weaken that certainty. Why take that risk?

[@8114梦见]

Since my mom does, I wouldn't doubt it.

[@aripinkberry1810]

It always concerns me when people refer to babies as miracles, blessings, or rewards because let’s be honest there’s parents who can’t keep their child. There’s parents who are regretful and they’re valid. And unfortunately many mothers have suffered from severe postpartum depression that has led to postpartum psychosis, which is also totally valid, but these things happen because They just unfortunately happen. And speaking of postpartum depression and psychosis, it’s very alarming to me how many people refuse to acknowledge that these are real conditions and that mom needs help too. In many cases I’ve seen moms who are suffering from postpartum depression will try to deny it because they’re not supposed to feel bad about having a baby. I think that that’s very concerning because when you push those feelings away, when you’re also completely under a bunch of stress thanks to the crying child, you can go insane and that’s when tragic accidents can happen. But of course we won’t talk about that. can we stop demonizing moms who regret having kids, moms with postpartum depression or psychosis, and moms who are traumatized from any part of the process of having a child.

[@14beans]

My brother's mom tried to kill him in her postpartum psychosis.

[@aripinkberry1810]

@@14beans I am deeply sorry to hear this. Unfortunately this is the reality for some people. I hope that both her and her baby had a strong support system and seeing as your friend is still here, that’s most likely the case.

[@UltraVBluerayman]

I'm gonna give "mentoring" a 7/10 on the creepy scale and a 6/10 on the culty scale.

[@richtraube2241]

2 minutes in and saw this comment. Holy crap.

[@disembodied1273]

"Godly mentor" is code for creep who doesn't mind their business so yeah

[@mjako81]

Its straight out of the Mormon/JW handbook, so 6/10 culty doesn't even get close to how bad it is.

[@uglytv3417]

I live in the American South with my heathen mixed race family. Can't tell you how many folks have tried to insert themselves as mentors. Except they're not actually mentors because they want to SET goals and objectives rather than helping us reach OUR goals and objectives. At least it is an easy to spot red flag.

[@EmilyCouturiere]

As someone who was raised in an actual cult. This is very culty. You cant be alone with someone you're dating. EVER. you have to go on a date with a group of "mentors" so that you dont "fall into temptation" theres no cut off age either. Two 40 year olds going on a date would still need a chaperone group with them lol. Like imgaine trying to get to know someone but theres constantly 6 people around you coaching you to not rouch the other person. And when you're married it switches around. You have to be watched by a group if you're ever with someone whos not your spouse for any reason. My mom would go knocking door to door but it couldnt be with another man. It had to be a group of like 6 people. Extremely creepy and odd.

[@didograce3531]

OMG I have *SO* much to say about all this. (1) Their mention of mentors reminded me of Catholic marriage prep, which (from what I've heard from now-married friends) often involves pairing engaged couples with an older married couple within the church for exactly those kinds of reasons. (2) Their point about "even some Christian doctors aren't immune to this" seemed a little weird to me. The first few gynecologists I ever visited were at a practice that *refused* to prescribe ANY birth control or give referrals for abortions, fearmongered about hormonal birth control, and made all their patients (myself included) chart their cycles in much the same way that the naturopath doctor seems to describe. Which, btw, is so ineffective compared to regular birth control that a common joke is "what do you call people who use the rhythm method? Parents" because people's bodies are not robotically regular all the time. (3) As someone with hormonal issues myself (PCOS/endo, they suck), I wanted desperately for the hormonal birth control my current (normal) gynecologist recommended to work for me, just so I could stick it to these fear-mongering kinds of people. It didn't end up agreeing with my body, so we stopped it, which sucks because those hormonal treatments are the standard for my issues. (4) Also fuck their "babies are more important accomplishments than anything professional or academic you achieve" messaging. No wonder I feel like shit about my life even after leaving the church because everyone I knew growing up is married with kids now

[@katrinam6795]

European here (1) The Catholic church here has good couple advice and therapy offers - religious, of course (2) I habe friends who wanted to avoid any hormonal techniques due to variois reasons. They are satisfied and have been safe for up to 10 years with period tracking apps. They track more than just your period days, too

[@Dither87]

I waited a while to get pregnant, and I'm 35. I've been taking birth control since I was in my teens to help regulate my cycles. My husband and I didn't want one until recently. A friend of mine had her first at 37. The whole you're "too old to have kids" is an outdated statistic from the 1600s or so. It might be harder when you're older, but that's not really until you're in your 40s and up. Thankfully my husband and I were lucky that it took us less than a year and had few issues. I'm glad we waited, because we knew it was going to be expensive. Even having two is probably going to be too much for us. We would not have been financially or mentally able to care for a kid in our 20s.

[@Eric_01]

My youngest brother was born when my mom was 43. Went smoothly, there were no health concerns what-so-ever.

[@rudra62]

There is some point where you're "too old to have kids". I couldn't believe it when an in-law said, "Why don't you have kids? It's selfish! You're not too old, you know." Ummm, yeah. I'm in my 60s, have some health problems and mobility problems - and will I live until a now-fertilized-egg graduates high school - and if I do, will I have a teenager forced into being my caregiver. Oh yeah, IVF can still be done. Yeah, right.

[@8114梦见]

You and your husband sound like the kind of people who take being parents seriously. My aunt also didn't have her two children until her late 30s, and things are wonderful for her family unit.

[@LadyGameProfessor]

Same here. I was 35 when I had my son. It's certainly more exhausting having an active young child in my 40s, but I'm glad he never had to deal with us worrying about affording rent, food, or medicine before we were financially stable.

[@tatiana4050]

You see they just skip the part where they "care" for the child. They just have it and raise it.

[@TheJakeL152]

Old culture literally did use birth control. There's record of Romans harvesting a flower that was functional birth control to extinction. There are lots of plants that people have been using as abortifacients for basically forever.

[@theodorekerr5994]

Syrian Rue

[@_Sloppyham]

Even the Bible itself describes a process of aborting a fetus if the husband believes the wife has cheated on him

[@cookkeh]

i used to have incredibly heavy periods that lasted 2+ weeks and it was so bad i was anemic, so my doctor put me on birth control and for the first time in my life i didn't have to worry about non-stop bleeding for half a month. i wasnt sexually active at the time and even if i was, im gay, so there was never a chance i could get pregnant anyway. and it incredibly pisses me off that i have to cite this, as if i have to apologize for taking this medicine that in all honesty saved my life. and not to mention, as a trans nb person, the amount of dysphoria i used to feel during my period that is just gone now...i know they don't think trans ppl are real or deserve rights but i never ever want to go back to that experience ever again.

[@adrianagflores5587]

That was me I would bleed for months if I let it. My hemoglobin was at 5.6 and was going to be hospitalized and was going to need a blood transfusion. I was given birth control at 11 years old. When some people would know this they were like “ the pill is bad for you and will cause you to be infertile” I was like I cant become infertile if I’m dead. I guess for some people the fear of becoming infertile is greater than their desire to live .

[@gh0stpuppi333]

Same here. Been on BC since I was 12 for these exact reasons. But I guess Girl Defined would rather me just be passing out and bleeding all over the place. Because a non-existent, hypothetical fetus is more important than my safety and well-being because *sky daddy said so* 😡😡😡

[@Lauren_P_]

Also, “I don’t know” or whatever is a completely valid response to a super personal question like “when are you having kids” or anything about your body.

[@j.c.2240]

I like making the people who ask such rude questions uncomfortable. Something like this: "When my uterus works", "after the cancer treatment is over", "I'm recovering from a miscarriage", "I can't". Stuff like that. They make you uncomfortable, you should return the favor. Maybe they'll think twice about such invasive questions. And if they look disgusted, it's their own fault. Don't ask the question if you're not prepared for any possible answer.

[@Lauren_P_]

@@j.c.2240 when people asked me when I was having more children, I deadpan told them I was too old to have more kids. Lol

[@yoyosworld2773]

Like why are some people so concerned about when my boyfriend and I will rawdog and cream pie. It’s so weird fr.

[@dc100dc100]

They actually put out a public call for an anti hormonal birth control MD and that’s the best that they got.

[@Doctor.T.46]

That woman isn't an MD.

[@barret8]

she is not a MD, she might have a doctor's degree but she is not MD - huge difference

[@Doctor.T.46]

@@barret8 Thanks, that's exactly what I said. Glad I wasn't the only one to notice it.

[@speters17]

D isn't saying she's an MD, they're saying she's the closest they got.

[@Doctor.T.46]

@@speters17 I never claimed D said she was an MD, I was just saying the woman isn't an MD.

[@heyidaroo]

“I don’t know about having kids” while you’re married isn’t lazy planning like Kristen implies it is. Example, my husband and I would like to be parents, but also understand that due to our financial situation and our own respective mental health journeys, it might just not be in the cards for us. As much as we would like to, we understand that we could be ineffective parents that could pass down generational traumas and set our kids up for failure, so we’re doing the responsible thing of figuring out if we are secure and stable enough for children, or just focus on investing in each other. That is NOT selfish or lazy Kristen!

[@ericconard7718]

I think the discussions surrounding these issues (biblical gender roles, complete lack of modern medicine for family planning needs, etc) are vital. Please continue with the vid and the second vid. Appreciate your work.

[@louistournas120]

It is even funnier in the case of complete lack of any medicine, any pain killers, any dentists. Some of these europeans want to return to the stone age.

[@sjoerdbalfoort7170]

@@louistournas120 europeans? This problem with religion is planet-wide I'm afraid....

[@alexmaria9969]

@@louistournas120 In europe we do have our crazies as well...but both girl defined and Dr. Candace are from US. ^^;

[@ericconard7718]

@@louistournas120 that’s a strange way to put it. There are folks all over the world that believe in naturopathy over modern medicine. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@louistournas120]

@@alexmaria9969 Oh sorry. Sometimes I say european when I mean to say the western world. I think it was in a Richard Dawkins video where he says it is funny that the western world has produced modern medicine. Most of the research (whitepapers) and the patents come from the USA. But for X reasons, some people go for the eastern medicines, which are ancient traditional ideas, while in the eastern world, they look at western medicine as the future.

[@notheothersarah]

I get hormonal migraines. Birth control has been the single most life-changing thing for me. I took it even when I was not sexually active and it has helped me dynamically. I resent the people from my Fundy background that said it was wrong because it is not and I am healthier because of it and can participate in my healthy children's lives

[@TheKjschooler]

I love how you can disconnect yourself from your bias to understand another person's logic.

[@crumbtember]

I think the nature of bias is such that you can't separate from it entirely, but acknowledging that, and trying to separate as much as possible is definitely a good thing. Hope that makes sense lol

[@rolfs2165]

"If babies are a gift from God and his way of showing us love, doesn't by extension that mean that miscarriage is what, a punishment from God?" In the eyes of people like Girl Defined and Candice Watters, yes, it absolutely is.

[@neiloflongbeck5705]

Their reaction: No, you've taken that out of context. Everyone else: sad, but true.

[@miscalotastuff733]

They consider miscarriage to be murder. Our church really went after the women in our church who "dared" to have ectopic prenancies, miscarriages, still births, or premature water breaks. Some even got the boot. They would ream the women in front of their husbands in private meetings. This of course helped further membership loss. Alot of these people want women to be prosecuted for murder. While many just want life sentences quite a few want the death penalty. Please note not all churches are like this and actually understand stuff happens. Most of them that think this way are fundamentalist and cult christians.

[@neiloflongbeck5705]

@@miscalotastuff733 I think you spelt the 2nd to last word wrongly with an "l" instead of the correct letter. But seriously how can anyone call themselves a Christian and behave like that? Didn't the Christ teach them to be better than that?

[@miscalotastuff733]

@@neiloflongbeck5705 Please dont be grammer hazi. My tablet already does that. That is why it is turned off. Most christians obey the apostles not Jesus. It is their teachings over his. Sexiem and all.

[@neiloflongbeck5705]

@@miscalotastuff733 lol

[@lianejaeger8708]

On paper mentoring can sound wonderful and very helpful to me couples, but in actual practice, it's creepy as heck. It's invasive and controlling without giving actual help. So it's a big ol' nope from me. I needed a low dose pill because I am so sensitive to so much. I have raging endometriosis, and the scarring is down in my intestines. I'm leaving it alone for now until I see a specialist, because they may have to remove parts of my intestine. I am hoping it won't lead to a colostomy bag. I am also very prone to headaches and migraines, so any strong pills would likely give me a stroke. I worked with my doctor to find something that would ease the Niagara Falls period flow I would have. I also needed something for the debilitating pain it would put me through, starting at ovulation, and running through my period and then some. I have been hospitalized for the pain, and I needed a blood transfusion. I did have surgery to remove cysts and scarring, and went on a different pill, but I had a complete hysterectomy earlier this year. I saw the pics from surgery, and the one ovary was a twisted glob of flesh dotted with cysts. The other had a literal conga line along the top. Needless to say, this was the smart move. I will never understand how people think they have the right to tell others what is best for them, or try to deny actual medical care they need. The pill does so much more than just help prevent unwanted pregnancies, and people really need to get over themselves. I still take a very low dose pill because part of my ovary cemented itself to my bladder. In rare cases it can regrow, but the blood supply was cut off, so we'll see. I also take a low dose estrogen patch to help regulate hormones. All they have to do is spend not even five minutes online and they will learn about all these complications. But they don't care because it doesn't fit their narrative. Thank you for reading this insanely long response ☺️

[@14beans]

*hugs* it's choking off my intestines too. total hysto last year, still continuous bcp because one ovary left. F*ck endo.

[@pinkrubix]

I love how people like this often talk out of both sides of their mouth. One minute they're saying you should have babies and not worry about being in the right financial place for it, but then when people do that and can't support their family those same people cry about how people shouldn't have kids they can't afford.

[@yoyosworld2773]

And more often than not vote against programs to help these families or complain about “handouts.”

[@_Sloppyham]

@@yoyosworld2773to be fair, there is a major issue with the system that gives money to poor mothers. If the mother ever attempts find a job that pays better than around minimum wage, she will no longer be eligible for government money and will actually LOSE income by taking that job. This is a huge problem with this system (that and not having a limit on how many kids get government money, since it incentivizes having as many kids as possible and then keeping some of the money for yourself).

[@FilthyMudblood]

My husband and I met in our early 20’s. We got married at 29 and 30. I had our first kid at 31. Second at 34. Both pregnancies totally planned. Both are teenagers now and we’ve been married 18 years. Birth control and then a tubal ligation after our second child kept us on track for what we wanted. These ladies know nothing. Also, in my teens, I had my cycle too frequently (twice a month) and I had an iron deficiency because of it. I was put on BC pills to help regulate my cycle. Was on it for 15 years. Had no issues getting pregnant when the time came. I’d love for you to continue the video in a part two.

[@direktive4]

'being a mom in a christ-centric way' - well unless her kids were immaculately conceived, ie: w/o intercourse or artificial insemination involved, she's false advertising

[@felixgarnet]

Immaculate Conception is NOT the virgin conception of Christ but is a title of his mother. She is the Immaculate Conception as she was conceived without original sin, but in the usual way by her parents, to make her a suitable vessel for Christ. Christ was conceived by the Holy Spirit but immaculate does not refer to his conception. He is wholly God and wholly man in one incarnation.

[@JohnWaaland]

@@felixgarnet Well, y'know, if God were really into the family thing (man, woman, child) you'd think he would have constructed the trinity like....... God the Father God the Mother(Mary) God the Son(Jesus)‼️ Maybe the Holy Spritz, uh, Spirit is female ‼️ Guess not ⁉️

[@14beans]

YES!!! hahahaha

[@flowergranny3218]

My very elderly mother said "pulling out" was the only birth control most people knew. Teenagers should be directed to "Mama Doctor Jones". The best sex education KZbin channel ever.

[@yoyosworld2773]

I love Mama Doctor Jones!

[@nataliechazvemba4929]

Pull out method got me 2 children. Don't trust it anymore.

[@TerriMRoberts]

Great video, Emma! I'm one of those people who absolutely needs hormonal birth control. Been on it for PCOS since I was 15-ish and now I'm.... well, a LOT older than 15, lol, and still on it until I reach menopause some time in the next several years. These pro-natalist-at-all-costs women irritate me to no end!

[@bubbercakes528]

Just a note from an old man; when Loretta Lynn (a huge country singer in my youth) sang a song called “The Pill” it caused a huge controversy. Many radio stations refused to play it and those that did would often issue disclaimers first. My parents loved the song and we all knew the words by heart. Neither of my siblings or I were planned and my mom was truly grateful when the pill became available! The “Christian” take on the pill is that it takes away from women’s subservience to their husbands. Also, their god said to produce and multiply, which is insane when you know that we now have twice the population on the earth we should have. My mom and my older sisters’ big dreams were to get married and have lots of babies. Crazy!

[@joannecunliffe8067]

Oh Emma, Ouch! As a trans-woman, I've 'missed out' on the suffering which many people go through in terms of premenstrual cramps (or just agony). I remember keeping my eye on my sister's expression (and sometimes tears) as a teen and just knowing when I had to make up a hot water bottle for her so she could suffer less. This isn't a 'Biblical Necessity'. It's a treatable medical issue. Just because they don't want to put external hormones into their bodies doesn't make it a sin or even a bad thing! It's a personal decision.. Same with contraception. We're big and grown up and can decide for ourselves.

[@qjtvaddict]

You can still be a father tho especially if your partner is a very sexy trans-man.

[@joannecunliffe8067]

@@qjtvaddict Nice thought. Been there - married with children before transition - now estranged. Was put through 15 years of psychological domestic violence (PDV) by ex-partner. Never want another partner - just friends. Now at last I'm looking after myself. Transitioning is for me. I have decent friends who treat me like a human being. My story isn't that unusual. Many transgender people have similar back stories. It was a kind and interesting thought though 🙂

[@lizcollinson2692]

Good luck, with your best judgement of whats good for you. I hope you find the happiness you seem (atleast in part) to have been missing.

[@joannecunliffe8067]

@@lizcollinson2692 I'm one of the lucky ones. At least I could get out of an abusive relationship. It was partly my fault. I could have walked away before but wanted to stay to save a marriage that wasn't worth saving. So many others have been hurt far more than I have. I count myself as lucky. I survived and now I'm at least reasonably happy. I knew I was gender dysphoric at 7yo but that was in the mid 70's. I just wish I could have had bottom surgery as a child. Many people would find that shocking but I would have changed from a boy to a girl in a heartbeat. I've always felt that. Better late than never.

[@lizcollinson2692]

@@joannecunliffe8067 don't blame yourself for trying, that isn't a failure, at least now. Times are changing its always slow and painful. I'm sorry it took so long to get this far for you. Be as happy as you can and remember there's love out there, what type, you will find out.

[@maddyrevenge]

I found Kristen’s posing of the initial question about “the history of the pill” quite enlightening. Typically when you plan to feature and interview a person, you’d provide them a list of your talking points and questions you want them to address. This allows them to consider how they might want to respond ahead of time or clear up any points that they may not be qualified to answer, ensuring that the interview is productive and engaging for the audience. By Kristen asking a question that her guest is wholly incapable of answering or addressing in any meaningful way, it’s clear that she has truly done the bare minimum of preparation in the lead up to their chat. It shows that for all the years they have been producing girl defined videos, they have put very little effort into improving their output.

[@ND-nr6mx]

Honestly. I was like, "You're really just going to prove your guest is wholly unqualified right off the bat?"

[@jacobcluff6382]

The idea of "babies are a reward from the lord" has caused so much pain and suffering to many of the women in my life with fertility issues. Seriously. Untold damage. Another win for team jeebus.

[@midnightnyx261]

Firstly, the talking about how kids are eternal and they'll either go to heaven or hell really struck a cord with me. Back in the earlier years of being openly atheist, my mom literally tried to guilt me into believing again was to tell me that she wants me in heaven with her and I won't be if I don't believe and that she worries about me not getting into heaven. I literally always just ignored her but every time I just wanted to clapback with "If God would damn me to hell for simply not believing in him, that's a dictator and why would I even want to be in heaven?" Thankfully she's completely let up on that but it was like super bothersome. And then there's my grandmother who has not once said anything to me about it and she's well aware I'm into witchcraft (not in the like supernatural magic kind of way but the the "town's herb woman" kind of way) cause I don't in any way hide that, AND she's bought me supplies for that very thing. And look, I totally get you Candice on that not using physical barriers is a MUCH more enjoyable experience. But that's WHY we have hormonal barriers that we can use to avoid those physical ones. I use one of those that has a very high protection percentage and I have been on it for 13 years. I wasn't even sexually active for the first 2 years I was on it. I can't take the pill. ADHD would make that a VERY unreliable method. I find it a lot easier to remember a 2 week period every 3 months. So husband and I don't have to worry about it and we can have that closer connection. (no, I don't care about any of your concerns with the depo shot. It's been very effective for me with no side effects and I don't give a shit about my fertility. I'm sorry you had a bad experience on it, that's an unfortunate risk of birth control and I wish it wasn't. Our experiences are different and that's okay)

[@JohnWaaland]

Yep, a definite eye brow raiser about the going to hell part 😳😳😳 ‼️ Lemme see here........ it'd be more loving to not have any babies and avoid taking that chance..... ya think⁉️ OR, you could just put aside that ridiculous literal interpretation of a fiery hell 🚒🔥‼️

[@kevinkingston6330]

Hearing Emma say "So Candice likes it raw " made me laugh out loud and rewind the video. You have to cover the other video please!!

[@DarrenMalin]

I have been married for 24 years , we have three now grown children. Child care was a nightmare and a constant worry. We both needed to work to keep the lights on but child care cost so much it was almost not worth both of us doing so. If it was not for the help of my mother and mother in Law , friends and family and the fact that here in Spain children start school at 5 to help with just this problem I am not sure we could have muddled though it. It really does take a village to raise a child.

[@GlitterF-CK]

My answer to "do you want kids" has always been "yes, but not now". A lot of people accept that answer. Some people don't. More often than not the people who don't are Christian but that's not terrible on its own. The most unpleasant experience I've had is my boyfriend's buddy literally breaking out into tears over how I didn't want to being a baby into the world knowing that my household isn't safe for one. "I just know you'll take good care of the baby and you should have the baby if you have the baby" he was very upset at the idea I would actively avoid bringing a child into a potentially traumayic or abusive space solely because I was preventing myself from having a child

[@davidvogel1756]

31:48 Love that expression! That broadening smile of realization that something deliciously salacious has just been inadvertently disclosed! "CANDACE LIKES IT RAW!!!"

[@Rachaelshaw7]

We need a better system in place to help people afford caring for a family ✔️

[@savanaashleigh626]

I think outright asking couples when they plan to have kids is rude. The advice these people give is terrible. I also love it when people who had no real medical background act like they are an expert on these things. These also more than one kind of birth control pill.

[@Desertphile]

I would like to understand the "reason" why many Stable Geniuses insist that not reproducing is "selfish."

[@isray89]

But what if you're no longer fertile!? Um, aren't these the people promoting adoption as an alternative to abortion?...

[@savanaashleigh626]

@@isray89 yes they say that, but very few Christian’s actually adopt, and when they do it’s usually international.

[@savanaashleigh626]

@@Desertphile because they consider having kids to be one of the most selfless things you can do. Personally I think it’s just another way to try and manipulate couples who don’t want kids into having kids.

[@isray89]

@@savanaashleigh626 gotta feed the white savior complex somehow!

[@sarahallegra6239]

I actually just had an appointment this week with an infectious disease specialist, who not only is a real medical doctor, but has been studying this field for his entire professional career (he’s almost 70, so many decades). I was seeing him for an autoimmune disease that I have (which he was EXTREMELY helpful about, the first doctor I can say that about in 14 years of dealing with this) but he brought up why women are more prone to autoimmune issues than men are. I’m not going to be able to explain it nearly as well as he did, but it has to do with our menstrual cycle; basically certain parts of it (ovulation, if I remember correctly) tip our hormones out of whack and it leaves us much more vulnerable to getting sick. It’s not that we’re whiny or weaker, it’s just how our bodies are built. I’ve always considered my birth control *medicine* for me - not just for the regular reason of preventing pregnancy, although that’s extremely important too. And not just for the good it does my mental health to not plummet dramatically every month. But now I know that, especially for me, as I’m already sick and susceptible to more illnesses, keeping myself stable and out of the menstrual cycle as much as possible is helping to keep me alive. (My birth control restricts my periods to once every three months.) There are so many reasons why a person might want to go on birth control, and 0 of those reasons are anyone else’s business. And some of them are actually life-saving. I’m going to trust my actual medical doctor who’s studied this for his entire career over the Christian girl with an agenda and the naturopath she found to agree with her.

[@wadewatts6606]

Thumbs up for Emma as the next doctor 👍🏻 listen BBC

[@alanfike]

Older couple could have any number of motivations to guide a younger couple. I'd definitely be on guard in any case, especially if they're affiliated with the same social group, like a religion. Boundaries ought to be maintained.

[@IzzysTravelDiaries]

I'm 40 and pregnant. It happened totally naturally and on the 3rd month of trying. Sure, it can be difficult, but often age doesn't necessarily indicate fertility. Also the fertility statistics on age are very skewed. I know plenty of people who tried to have kids in their 20s and it never happened. So having a look at your fertility status occasionally isn't a bad idea, even if you're not married but want to have kids some day. I actually did that a few years ago and just before we started trying. However, most people have nothing to worry about. And once you have a partner, send him to check his fertility too. He was all startled by it too, but I told him we're not going to keep trying only to find out he's shooting blanks or something.

[@ArmouryTerrain]

Personally I think that you are insane, but that aside Congratulations and I hope that parenthood is a fantastic experience for you.

[@IzzysTravelDiaries]

@@ArmouryTerrain I'm worse. I broke up with the father after he proved to be less reliable than I thought. So I'm doing this with my elderly mother.

[@ArmouryTerrain]

@@IzzysTravelDiaries I am sad that this is the case and wish you all the joy that you can find.

[@neiloflongbeck5705]

I hope everything goes well for you and your doon to be child.

[@shegocrazy]

I'm glad you had success but unfortunately the stats don't lie. You are born with X number of eggs and the older you get the odds get worse. I have a friend who went through menopause in her 20s.....but that's an unlucky anomaly. Fortunately, she had a child before that happened, but she would have been devastated if she'd waited till her 30s. I've also got 2 friends who had to go through IVF in their late 30s. They both eventually succeeded after a lot of heartache and money.

[@RedPandaSquadron]

I really appreciate your videos. I grew up fundementalist, and went to a Christian university in the states, but began deconstruction while I was in my second year. A lot of this is not new to me and my friends, but it takes time to explain what these things are and how harmful and absolute bonkers they are to people. I'm out now, comfortably just existing without religion at all, but with family still in it. But watching your takes and insights into things that are so "normal" to how I grew up, is refreshing. It reminds me that there is a normal world outside of that bubble I left. So, thanks! Eyebrows are fantastic!

[@Seal0626]

I had an endocrinologist listen to me describe my migraines, agree that they were definitely migraines, and then prescribe me the combined pill. All he said was that it probably wouldn't make the migraines much worse. My GP hit the roof when she found out. Frighteningly, though, the endocrinologist is still employed.

[@alicine-sims8988]

Oof that's irritating. You might want to look into an IUD though! I had one and my neurologist had no qualms with it, I think because the hormones are more centralized to the uterus instead of pumping everywhere. I'm not sure if it would help with all or any of the medical reasons to take the pill, but you could take a look regardless.

[@willowthewendigo]

Expressing solidarity and that I like your content but don't think I can subject myself to the psychological horror that is Girl Defined.

[@irrelevant_noob]

I don't think this particular video was as bad as your description makes it seem. ;-)

[@lavendersky1696]

i get really bad cramps with my periods. i had to start on birth control to stop those cramps. it got to the point where i was constantly on ibuprofen, and constantly in mental and physical agony. since starting on depo shots, i haven’t had to take ibuprofen every single day. the only point to uncomfort now, is the bleeding as it makes my dysphoric (i’m ftm)

[@Gunstonization]

How actually close is a 'mentoring couple' for another married pair, if the mentors don't even know how old their (mentees? Subjects? Wards?) are, by the time they're 'having a walk' and talking about life plans? A detail I found odd.

[@Gunstonization]

Ah jeez, just got to the 'human capital' statement. Yuuuuuuck. 'Human capital' is, to me, a *horrid* objectification and conceptualization of people, and valuating offspring.

[@xjesusxchristx]

Emma as the Doctor?! Where's the petition to have the BBC make this happen?!

[@Doctor.T.46]

Endocrinologist need a proper medical qualification. It's a specialty within the medical profession, just like cardiologists, neurologists etc.

[@ceres090]

When I was a kid I was in the Catholic Health Systems. My periods were also so painful I needed medication, but they refused to give me birth control because they said it would increase my promiscuity. So instead, they prescribed some new unheard of drug I had to take every few hours on the hour. It barely helped. And one day, I had an exam and couldn't take the pill at the prescribed time. I was in so much pain I couldn't hold a pen. It was far worse than my usual period pain. When I got home my mom called the doctor's office but no one could figure out what the doctor had given me. It wasn't in my chart and she was out because her baby's due date was close (ironically). I thought I was going to die. I just had to ride out the excruciating pain and hope for the best. That experience instilled in me a fear of doctors that I still have a hard time over coming.

[@daniellamcgee4251]

Entirely against birth control, except seasonally, makes as much sense as Numberwang. ('Mitchell and Webb' reference).

[@Shane2020xxx]

“We must follow what we think the Bible says precisely, except when we make up our own exceptions about what we want to do and do those instead!”

[@Hanmerhack]

When She said seasonal birth control, my first thought was "Pumpkin Spice Birth control?"

[@marcbman5821]

Exactly! My wife is a registered dietician and shakes her head every time someone says they are a "nutritionist". They are usually a joke and give terrible advice/give only slightly good advice.

[@kellydalstok8900]

I bet “nutritionists” advice mostly what’s fashionable at any time.

[@faunaprince4466]

So creepy,but only because of its huge room for abuse

[@doublehelix3558]

Birth control isn't even used just to prevent pregnancy. I take it because I was cursed with severe hormonal imbalance during my cycle that causes extreme stress that impacts my daily life. I'm autistic, and all my worst episodes happened on my period. Since taking birth control I feel more in control of my life and able to function like a human being.

[@GamerHammer]

the "mentor" thing, creepy for sure

[@Plutoburns]

"sex with birth control is less spiritual" thats called a breading kink

[@hermunkulus]

Girl Declined

[@brendanroo4797]

Dear Emma, I have loved your videos for a long long time (long time viewer, first time commenter "owo"?) and love your work. When it comes to birth control, I am a very gay man, but as I wanted to be the "good son" and give my parents grandchildren as my sibling would never reproduce if Darwin was right, I tried for the longest time to make it work. Though, I did use contraceptives since I was not married and not ready to raise a family. Once my Christian, career military parents found out and cussed me out to do what I wanted instead of what I thought they wanted did it dawn on me that we can all make this choice. It is not up to our parents, or the church, or society to tell us what is good for you and your family, but what is good for you and your family to tell society. And good on them for that. Thank you :)

[@Mads_L_M]

“G-d gave us fertility we can predict, and minds to track it.” I have PCOS, my periods were completely random, the only consistency was they lasted 2 weeks, and would skip a few months at a time, at random. Not to mention my cramps and blood loss were so bad that I would pass out, or become physically ill regularly. The cramps were so bad that getting my IUD, with no painkillers of any kind, not even a ibuprofen, didn’t even come close to my cramps. I’m so glad I got it, I haven’t had a period in over 500 days, and it’s made my life actually livable.

[@cheetobuzz]

Same here! My cousin,who also has PCOS, went a whole year with no period,while I've had the opposite, periods that lasted a whole month,only to start again 2 weeks later before I was diagnosed later in life. Now I'm on a very high dose of pill and it's worked without raising my blood pressure like patches have for me

[@DavidSmith-qf4zj]

You had me laughing when they mentioned “seasonal” birth control.

[@akizeta]

Mentors sound like something out of _The Handmaid's Tale._

[@claratalbot7613]

I'm a bi ace woman who is going to be 28 in 3 weeks & I have zero interest in having kids unless me & my future wife want to adopt. I have a feeling that girl defined & Candace would have a thing or two to say about that

[@thomasvanstraelen5848]

Or not. I'm not sure they are equipped to proceed the fact that people like you even exist.

[@claratalbot7613]

@@thomasvanstraelen5848 True. They'd be like: oh you don't actually like woman more then men. U just need to find the right man to have babies with and that I just need to have sex with the right man to experience the pleasure of it

[@polydactylblackcat2218]

Nothing like the confidence of an "expert" who doesn't know anything about what they are talking about except for what they "feel is right because God told me so in a dream". Gotta love it 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@kellydalstok8900]

My mother started taking “the pill” in the early sixties. It had a far higher dose of hormones than later versions did, probably because it wasn’t known that a lowed dose would do the job as well. I think that the fact that her mother, who used an old fashioned way of birth control, got pregnant twice anyway; once eight years after the first three, and again seven years after number four. My gran contemplated killing herself when she was pregnant that last time. Her eldest son found her still on the quayside, because she was afraid to jump in.

[@kafka6666]

As someone married to a dietician I'm glad you brought that up

[@cursedcat6467]

4:58 As someone that has provided nutrients to my body before, I can definitely say that I should qualify for nutritionist

[@cayreet5992]

I took the pill for about twenty years, but never for birth control, as I'm asexual. I took it to tone down my period which is horridly strong without it. Now, after a thrombosis, I'm no longer allowed to take it, which sucks.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Can you try Mirena IUD? It helped my periods

[@glenhughes8013]

I'd love to see Emma team up with Jimmy Snow and tackle Girl Defined together!

[@yehooyahoo6861]

DRAG EM, EMMA

[@heyidaroo]

“Unlike anything you can buy, babies are eternal” as an answer to financial issues with having kids is *incredibly telling* These women are so privileged that if they had to “budget” for anything as parents, it was probably getting a cheaper car (but likely still new), or buying less clothing, or going on one fewer trip. And I think because of that, they think that anyone who is choosing to not have a baby for financial reasons is just not wanting to give up fancy purchases. You know, some parents have sacrifice their meals or their own much needed medication so their children can eat. Proof that babies are *objects* to these women, not people

[@feliciam1091]

I got married two years ago. At the time, I was Christian (but not anymore!) and my now husband and I went to premarital counseling with a pastor from my church. It was a positive experience- the pastor and his wife didn't force their own views on us, they just wanted to make sure we had the same goals and ideals before getting married. That said, I do think our case may have been rare.

[@DariusRoland]

Thank you Emma, for highlighting these terrible people and pointing out the flaws in their ideology and approach to everyone. Great work.

[@barret8]

good that you called out that "doctor" woman, who was presented as someone who is medical doctor but in fact is a different kind of doctor, huge difference when discussing this subject, hugely misleading by that other lady

[@Grim_Beard]

Not _any_ kind of doctor. Neither naturopathy nor 'functional medicine' are legitimate fields of medicine, and she doesn't seem to have a research degree either.

[@alicine-sims8988]

@@Grim_Beard I think they just mean the fact she has a doctorate, at least I believe that is what was said in the video. Medically equivalent to having like a doctorate in English, but still technically aloud to use the word doctor.

[@Grim_Beard]

@@alicine-sims8988 A 'doctorate' in naturopathy (ND) is not a legitimate doctorate. Not in the sense of a medical degree (e.g. MD) or in the sense of a research degree (e.g. PhD).

[@alicine-sims8988]

@@Grim_Beard That is exactly the point I was making. She is by no stretch of the word a medical doctor, or really a doctor for that matter. However she still has the doctorate and the ability to call herself a doctor. I was just saying that barret's statement of "a different kind of doctor" isn't wrong.

[@Grim_Beard]

@@alicine-sims8988 It's _not_ a doctorate, is my point. Just because someone has a piece of paper with 'doctorate' printed on it, does not mean they have a doctorate. An 'ND' is _not_ a real doctorate. Edit to add: it's not a "different kind of doctorate" to a medical degree. My PhD is that. An ND is not.

[@JaiaV]

Gotta love the casual shaming of women without or with inconsistent menstrual cycles.

[@hypatian9093]

If "Human capital is the best capital there is" - why not invest in better healthcare (like not having to pay lots of $ for birthing a child) or education (like not making college + university stupidly expensive)? Or try to prevent ppl get killed by guns? But the probably mean the "correct" human capital (=their sort of people). I know there are Christians everywhere (had some on my door step this morning), but as a German the whole US-system is antisocial and misanthropic.

[@elinope4745]

At our core we are a people that hate each other so much that the middle ground is freedom to believe what you want, speak your mind and own guns. We just hate the English more, and that's patriotism here.

[@Wouter_K]

Thank you again for a great video Emma. You do not even have to go thousands of years back to debunk their bizarre point of view having baby's was more of a given before birth control and did not have anything to do with any moral views. My grandmother actually told me that she herself at some point did not necessarily want any more children, but there simply was no birth control available. (yes she was a Christian, but she would've definitely ignored their view point on the issue if it had been available).

[@Timothy-remembers]

Love you Emma ,! In a non creepy way)… keep up the good work- we need your voice now more than ever-

[@Jaybo1213]

OMG you brought back "goddamnit connla" i don't know why, but the line alone makes the video more enjoyable. Just something that clicked in my little lizard brain back when you used to name out the patrons individually, and then got to connla