Emotional rules for empaths in a world of narcissists

[@SuperKarineka]

Empathy is becoming more and more scarce nowadays. If you have the gift of empathy, you are a treasure. Always remember that.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

Yes it's a beautiful feeling

[@diannecavanaugh]

Empathy is pain when it’s weaponized against you

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

@@diannecavanaugh sure Dianne it definitely can be but let me help you if you are experiencing pain from any narcs. Use it as fuel and stand up to them in every way you can. Use your strength to dominate those demons and show them you are the boss and you have the authority,not them. They will back off, I promise you.

[@diannecavanaugh]

@@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht thank you

[@jennilynmae]

Thank you

[@nicholecornes1915]

We good people are still out here.... dont fret

[@naturemom57]

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

[@ms.kbrown]

Empathy is what kept me in a bad relationship for so long... basically you try to make excuses for their bad behavior when you know they have a real personality disorder. You feel bad and try to work around it. Then you end up compromising yourself ultimately.. NOTHING is worth that. If your in a narcissistic relationship, I know its easier to say then do but you MUST remove yourself from that type of relationship and never look back.

[@jelkel25]

I call the excuses work arounds. With a Narc parent you have to learn them because you still need to function in the rest of the world, a homework assignment where the Narc has decided you'll make too much mess so is sabotaging it for instance. You massage their ego, distract them, anything to get through what needs to be done. In adulthood you do it automatically and it attracts all the ghouls to your party. Look for excuses/work arounds in your behaviour. They do.

[@valerieriggins3184]

There Is GOOD vs BAD That's The Difference! WHEN Not Taught Properly Will Tolerate What Is Your Not Suppose To.

[@janeg81]

ggssgggsgsgggggggssgggggsgsgggsgsgggsgggggsgggggggggggggsggggg%😊😊😊😊

[@janeg81]

ggssgggsgsgggggggssgggggsgsgggsgsgggsgggggsgggggggggggggsggggg%😊😊😊😊

[@tjenkins76]

You are SOOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT!!!!!!!

[@salonsavy6476]

Kevin , being an Empath is a blessing and a curse!,,

[@GodsChildMetal]

You can say that

[@freeandfabulous4310]

I am so very different from most people. My God-given super power is seeing the unseen in people, behaviors, past and present.

[@GodsChildMetal]

Amen to that

[@reverentalexanderchezeley-6367]

It's even tougher if your an Extreme Empath. Blessings.

[@vincentfusca5676]

yea this shit sucks

[@alexadellastella5247]

Often women suffering from narcissistic abuse and cptsd have their nervous system dysregulated and also their hormonal system! Since it is different from the hormones for men, the woman hormonal cycle fluctuates and is more prone to be impacted and dysregulated after abuse, created all sorts of chronic problems.... Therefore, it is important to say that many doctors are not trained to recognise this and classical blood analysis made by a GP can appear normal when in reality there is an issue.... In this context, fasting is NOT recommended at all for women, it will put more pressure and dysregulation on their hormones, nervous sytem and psyche and can be detrimental. It is more important to learn to eat healthy, nourishing and stabilise the glycemy and take care of ourselves in a caring way than pushing our bodies to a fasting period when our body and mind have already been so mistreated chronically..... Be careful people, take care of yourselves!

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

You are so right

[@lindanorris2455]

never met a GP who knew anything about female hormones!

[@user-do5ie4dw8s]

You need to preach this to the world !!! Please please please do this on every possible medium out there ! 🙏💘💘💘💘🙏

[@AA-pz9on]

I think we are all different. Having been 23 years into a marriage with someone with a pretty intense mental disorder.... Fasting was a great thing for me personally, reset me to a base level.

[@wk1810]

"Doorway to Romantic Intimacy" I would even say not to use your empathy as a doorway to friendship for the very same reason: being unequally yoked -- if the friendship starts out from the seat of empathy then you'll be expected to continue giving with no reciprocity.

[@Emily_Paris]

I love people, especially humble people. I’m an empath and codependent but I’m learning to set boundaries and not let people take advantage of me.

[@talkmoneymatters]

Me too

[@bumblebee_ms]

Non empaths are super dangerous people, they WILL destroy YOU!

[@Teremoanabrockbank]

As a pastor. I can confirm this. We want to love others but after experiencing a narc friend smear me for well over a year now it’s horrible. It’s also horrible when those who have had trauma are looking at us to meet their needs and when we don’t we are slammed.

[@Teremoanabrockbank]

Even though I tried and would show love and understanding. It gets twisted and manipulated and then I’m hurt. But because of videos like these I am soooo thankful to gain greater understanding of what I’ve been going through so it’s given me the right tools

[@fifilafleur5555]

H.G. Tudor says a lot of people today are claiming to be empaths but that they really aren’t. Many are just “normals.” Being an empath means never fitting in anywhere. It can be a very very difficult existence because you literally will be so “different” you won’t fit in within your own family, in peer groups or at work. You’ll feel like a fish out of water. And in a world that is increasingly becoming more and more narcissistic and psychopathic, a true empath will really struggle with feeling heard, fitting in (anywhere) and profound loneliness. Empaths may quite literally withdraw from the world and prefer a very solitary life in order to protect themselves. Most truly empathic individuals will not be out socializing & hanging out with friend groups. They will prefer their own company and often that of their pets. They may be accused of being aloof, withdrawn or strange because they don’t feel the need to be around people in general. We have to remember a true empath was often born from childhood trauma. Something very traumatic usually happened to them as a young child. Great video, Kevin! As always!

[@jennilynmae]

You are literally describing me.

[@deb2319]

💯💯💯

[@robertbattison4136]

The story of my life, trying to understand it and trying to come to terms with it - not easy. I have no friends, family don't care, going though divorce from a narcissist. I am literally on my own in this life, in a world of 7 billion people yet completely alone? I don't 'feel' that different or think I am different but most people treat me as if I'm from another planet, I just can't see why though, why are we always perceived as being so different? Someone once said we ARE aliens - but friendly aliens! so why do people think we are such a threat? Think you're right about the childhood trauma. Thank you your wisdom.

[@elizabethbryan7601]

Human Design has helped me to understand why I am so disliked. It makes it very clear, but it does not erase the pain.

[@mic396]

Profound !

[@BigRebel0802]

“Work out your own salvation in fear and trembling.” - Paul in the New Testament

[@KH-hs5xv]

Amen

[@Rozalina-yz2xv]

Amen 🌟 🙏🏻 🌟

[@hollybarnes6177]

I wish I knew all this years ago. This stuff needs to be taught in schools early on.

[@angelameyer3709]

I have had to walk out of a store, leaving a full shopping cart behind, WalMart in particular, during holiday seasons, because the energy was so negative. I was trapped in a marriage for 36 years, 6 months and 15 miserable days before I was able to escape. I was beaten, cheated on, poisoned with cyanide, strychnine and arsenic because I confronted him. I was accused of making him look bad, embarrassing him, etc. He died 7 years ago. Thank GOD ALMIGHTY, I am free at last. I am an Empath. I tried to be kind, but it always backfired. I had to distance myself from him and cut all contact. I have no regrets.

[@ladybugsarah6671]

Oh my, I was poisoned too. Antifreeze in my drink. Blamed me for everything that he was doing. Worst part was raising his kids, our kids. They do the same thing to me, he wasn't even around to teach them. 14 miserable years and then the kids. Finally by myself and love it.

[@catherinekatyakapralova5169]

Absolutely do a video on finding a partner who doesnt suck the life out of you by mistreatment so your strength can be poured into the broken world Definitely

[@tmrsfitz1967]

Yes

[@elizabethash4720]

Infinitely😊

[@BecauseYoureBlessed]

My whole life is explained. Been there when people are dying and I play the song of their wedding anniversary, not knowing it ( on my phone at a hospital) didn't know it and put it next to her ear. She told me afterwards it was her and her husbands song , other times come across a car accident where Mom had passed ( it happened right in front of us as teens. ( And the kids couldn't move or speak but had eyes open and I crawled under the van to have them look at me I remember their earings still in their ears. Little kids. Crying and so I was singing and saying God is here. And talked with them. And held hands. Tried to have them look at me. And not around them ( cause their mom was passing ). Young brother had passed as well. Dad was freaking out but God had me in the wreckage. Ppl were crazily walking around disrespectful on the top of the van as they were crushed under. Bleeding out. My sister who was driving the car we were riding in sat way back , in disbelief and shock. Her husband found lil boy passed away, by his shoe. Mom was passing, alot going on. EMT 's got there and crawled under with me and I asked if ok while holding lil girls hand they said yes stay keep them calm. I had taken my coat off ( just bought that day ) and placed under and over over moms neck as she passed. Odd was not the word. Trying to calm others as I see things they don't know. As they asked for each other. Then was silent. ( Fast forward years. Turns out both lil girls had broken necks and were last I knew in wheelchairs. ( Their mom passed on the scene , dad was looking for their son. He had passed , and my brother in law found him. Thinking it was just a shoe but it wasn't. ( Years later he had trouble processing). Sometimes we don't understand what we go through, but a lot of times iv learned. It's for us to be there for others at the time they need. Many many times. This has happened similar in my life. We can't fathom how God uses us. But He does. We at one point stop asking why. And process. I was there. Our hearts are broken but we are here to comfort and console,, that means attracting narcissists ,that means for me going to jail for 4 days for praying over a dying kitten trying to teach teens about Jesus , that means God allowing me to be a Sunday school teacher for a short time long enough to talk to a lil 8 yr old Nivea about Jesus before 2 weeks later her being gunned down in her home while she slept , to ,, praying with the homeless man with such chapped skin from the cold as he called ma'am , My heart is broken 💔 but Jesus was the bread of life broken for us. We feed on His word so we have something to feed others. ( A lot of times ppl like me are alone but it's because it's quite a toll to want to help , but we must be protective and not go looking. Many families won't understand the love we have for Jesus and those suffering , We have to also be careful. And caretaker ourselves and establish self care boundaries and be self aware and when others are willing teach them about self awareness as well. If they aren't willing it's draining and so you withdraw and let them be. No guilt. Though it tries. We can't save the world. That's why there's Jesus. He does. We just gain our strength from Him. I never knew empathy and emotions as a gift. I just recently last few years processed and understood oh. ,it was never about me. It was always about the dying and abused and God used me to hold hands ,encourage ,sing and pray ,and be stupidly silly at times when clearly see signs and I cant do anything to help them out of their situation, but shows me I already really did the best i could do at that moment. You guys too. Can you look at all the sorrow and realize it's never been about us ? We are the blessing as children of God. Whoa 😂what ?!? ! Seriously, you wanted to be used by God and at times hard to see how you are being used ❤

[@BecauseYoureBlessed]

I realize I say it's never been about us. But it is. He uses the humble. And maybe theres a reason I cannot wrap my head around that .we are different and we don't fit in for a purpose greater than our own. When we don't know what our purpose is , sometimes it may be to simply exist for God to place us where He wants us at that moment.

[@elizabethash4720]

May God Bless you, as you are so kind.

[@CarolS330]

Yes! Kev... please do a video on how to meet a healthy person without my gift being abused or im going to end up by myself 🤷

[@PATH918]

👍😃

[@angelau9382]

Fear is also what will keep us running in circles. Don't ever fear being by yourself. It's a lie. And when we are with the wrong person... we'd want to be alone. Be content with all things and ABIDE in who gave you ur heartbeat.

[@markmessi9020]

You have to learn how to read people. Play attention to red flags you get. Don't second guess yourself ever

[@cosmolosys]

I was about to write a comment going in a little depth about it but I realized I could write an entire essay on this xD and even I don't know everything about it. I'd love to watch a video about this too.

[@cyndigooch1162]

@CarolSue. I want to let you know that I've watched many videos on this subject by other narcissism counsellors etc too! They often mention doing healing work on childhood trauma wounds, which make people more susceptible, as well as listening to intuiton and noticing red flags. 🙂

[@pinktumbleweed123]

You are my lamp out of the dark. Thank you for being here for us! You are so good at what you do! I'm a Super Empath surrounded by a family full of Naccarsists. My ex,my friends aunts,uncles,cousins. I've been beat up. My love for God has kept me going.. now having you to lead me out and not think I'm the crazy one as they like to say..

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

Pink tumbleweed your not alone,slay those demons,stand up to them and I promise you they will back down

[@pinktumbleweed123]

@@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht Thank you!

[@denise0777]

I totally relate to this. I've been an empath all my life. Spouse and family...many narcs (not all of them, though, but the ones that are...are brutal). Some friends in the past, but as of today, I tend to have good decent people as friends, thank God for that. I see that your spouse became your ex. Did you divorce that person because he was a narc?

[@pinktumbleweed123]

@@denise0777 I just went no contact with him about 2 to 3 Months ago. He was boyfriend of 6 years. I tried everything under the sun to fix him. Help him escape his mind. He was diagnosed bi polar. Well I always believed it was more,so started searching g the In ternet and when I found Kevin's channel I was like OMG! He's a Naccarsist! And thanks to this channel I found my way out of the dark!

[@theoriginal7727]

WHY?!?!?!? Why TF do good people have to go through this, especially with family surrounding us. Sending prayers my friend~

[@BeverlyMullen]

I love that you are calling Empathy a 🎁 💝 GIFT! I AM NOT AN EMPATH~~ I am a human being with the Gift of empathy~~ and too many times in my 61 years of life~~ I gave ALL OF ME ~~ to a broken man ~~ when in reality, I should have only extended and deposited the gift of empathy, and kept MY BOUNDARIES in place.

[@ziziscorsese9475]

I think we should quit with the broken man theory. Assholeism is what it is.

[@walkingwithheather]

Not counselling anyone anymore. Too many narcissists have shown themselves and I moved my son and my self away from these vampires. Taking a break and giving myself one year to get grounded again. Too many energies, negative were around me. I've seen them agitated when in their company, agitated towards me. Not angry, just very uncomfortable with their body language. I'm not seeing anyone like me in the family or around me, so I've stepped back.

[@samramajeed5315]

You are not alone ❤🫂

[@TheCommentsSectionATL]

Thank you for sharing this. I am in the process of moving my son and I away from certain people as well. They are super draining 😢

[@LS38389]

This is exactly the situation with my son and I. What really helped me was no longer accepting that I had to have a loving family to celebrate holidays traditionally. I don’t let it send myself into a weeping ball of sorrow. I simply ignore society and do what works for my son and I. Hope you have a peaceful holiday with your son.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Right! They are possessed

[@AngiO-f1s]

I took my 6 yr old son and left for a domestic violence shelter and gave myself a "sabbatical" period to heal. It's been 8 months and I finally am feeling good 😊 it wasn't easy bc I was so confused and feeling guilty for leaving him totally alone in the world. Dr. Ramani got me through those periods and I understand he made it that way for himself, he did nothing but sabotage and betray me out of jealousy. It's terrible and he just doesn't feel the way I do.

[@haitiqueen0119]

You can be an empath without having to accept mistreatments from others- Don't allow your character to turn you into a fool out here, especially narcissists will take your kind empathetic nature for granted☝️

[@Farhat-afza]

Don't use the word fool for empaths. It's derogatory.

[@Farhat-afza]

No body allows abuse. No one.

[@dark7angel456]

That is the worst feeling ever possible in this world, is feeling the energy of toxic narcissistic people. And not having anybody to kind of soothe my mind afterwards, always alone I just numb myself out so I don't have to feel torment

[@TheRueann4]

I know the feeling 😢

[@elvisclarks2487]

Same I just want to dive into God's arms physically after being around negativity DAILY I love being around home 🏡 ❤️ 💕

[@laurielivingston4606]

It's both a blessing and a curse to feel things so deeply.

[@dark7angel456]

I now know why i feel so much hatred in a crappy world. KZbin helped me alot. Noone shows much empathy.

[@user-hr1ql2fu3f]

I would like to meet an equally yoked partner. Narcissistic people seem to seek me out.

[@BethanyJuel]

Same

[@LR-yu3mx]

Me too

[@user-do5ie4dw8s]

Same here. It's been almost 18 years since my divorce. Yet it's hard to find an equally yoked partner like me

[@Mountainhippiedude]

Until recently I thought we were all capable of empathy. Discovering that it was not true has been an eye opener.

[@nhopkins1979]

People call me a negative person for the things that I can foresee. And it's not like I'm having a vision of the future, it's just like I know what's going to upset someone else and suggest we take a different approach, and people get resentful.

[@jackskelington7377]

Being an empath can suck. Sucking in everyone else's emotions is overwhelming.

[@patricianeville1941]

Thank you Kevin, wow, this narcissism gets so complicated and there seems to be a lot of awareness the older I get. I think the answers will be there if I keep searching and you just helped me understand more about empathy. I wish the narcissism problem would have been talked about decades ago because this information is vital for sanity! I’m in my late 70’s and wish information was available when I needed it most. My life has been most confusing trying to figure out how to live understanding how to bring up my children showing more love. Guilt has been overwhelming , I was brought up by a narcissist mother who kept me at arms length! God Bless You and Thanks Again! Please, keep making these wonderful videos helping people! ❤🙏🏻👍

[@heatherlynn3438]

I don’t have to try to feel other peoples feelings. I absorb the room like a sponge. It’s from years and years of having my nervous system pounded on. Now it’s like I am allergic to them.

[@deb2319]

👌Kevin ..Wonderful Talk.💯👁⛵️🤗🌻🥳

[@jenniferhendricks9567]

...i cant even shop in the grocery store without absorbing different energies from shoppers...i cant even ride the city bus feeling the same way...come home tired as heck!...so now i just ignore the negativities....i still have to "recharge" to go out again....mostly i sit in my room and watch you tube videos to help me feel better. your videos are on point.thankyou! :)

[@sylviacaldwell2139]

EXACTLY... KEVIN!! THIS IS A BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL!! TRUTH!!!!

[@dark7angel456]

I feel like a burnt out empath. But i am wanting to come back and use it for the good and NOT WASTE IT ON THE WRONG PEOPLE

[@abutterfly7975]

Me too😢

[@cyndigooch1162]

Me three! ❤

[@dark7angel456]

@@cyndigooch1162 it's worth it.

[@dark7angel456]

@@abutterfly7975 its worth it

[@elvisclarks2487]

Not broken but verrrryyyy fragile I have noooo tolerance for the trickery of this world even from my kids their Dad is a narcassist so I really give it all to God self care ❤️ and pray over myself and them I want my heart to stay pure but don't even play!!!

[@earthrooster1969]

Was really so helpful... Two points that hit hard specially Not using the gift in romantic situations and great analogy about the masseuse Knowing that empathy cannot fix someone else's problem

[@Charmainecharmainecharmaine]

Exactly no amount of love can help

[@pam8056]

Great information - you always give a new perspective. I so appreciate this message because I've always seen my empathy as a weakness ruining my life, now I see the strength and responsibility of applying it correctly. Very empowering. Thank you!

[@mojomeme3116]

I’m a new follower of your Kevin, for a couple of weeks now. It’s good to follow someone with a Christian view point !! For me being an Empath has been a curse I’d love to learn how to connect to healthy people I have been on my healing journey for quite sometime now.

[@marilynmoore8353]

I am a empathtic person . I married not equally yoked which i found out later . My narc of 31 yrs.is what they call the bibical gradious narc. I have ALLOWED my life to be taken from me ! Slowly working to get it back one way or the other . I'm labled by local churches because he has them believing i'm the narc ! No surprise . He great at making that little snide remark . I've been for help at local churches who offer counseling and once they learn who my spouse is they turn me away . I've learned alot the past 4 years about who and what i'm dealing with but it still isn't easy . I no longer go to a local church but am on the road to doing local community services as well as keeping grandchildren . God is my best friend along with a couple of friends who i can say are real friends 🙂

[@kirjoy991]

Amen, you keep going God is with you!

[@INFJ2]

Emoaths attract Narcs like a dog to a bone. Im surrounded by them. Came from them, married one, and now my young adult Son has traits. Ive internalized so much hatred. Its been a rough and lovely road but this channel helps. AND everyone calls everyone Narcissists these days- until youve known, really known, the rest is a joke.

[@suzannebrown945]

Hurting 💕🌸💕 Gave a party this Friday for family Narc totally trashed everything the day after Feel so much better now listening to you and understanding better 💕🌸💕

[@JoyCoy65]

Since I was young, I've always been able to feel or sense other peoples emotions. For me, it's been more of a curse than a blessing. Until recently, I thought I was just weird and wasn't normal. I always wanted to help people, but I usually got taken advantage of. It came to the point where I avoided people. At least I now know some of the reasons why I'm in a destructive relationship with a narcissist.

[@stevepoythress4678]

Personal feedback on the link between development of empathy and family of origin: for me, empathy developed at a very early age (toddlerhood) as an adaptation to being in a violently narcissistic family - as a literal survival skill it was crucial to be able to successfully read the emotions of rageaholic parents and preemptively act, not just merely feeling what others were feeling but additionally staying bonded and tuned into others' emotional state(s) because they unpredictably flipped from caring to abusive multiple times a day with little or no warning or rationality. Becoming empathetic, being able to read the room and co-experience the emotional state of others came as an adaptation, not as any natural talent nor predisposition. Love your work, and cannot thank you enough for sharing what you have with us, it is very empowering seeing His grace in the content you bring. - Steve.

[@deemaysie6568]

I relate to everything you said.

[@NN-re7cy]

Yes, I agree that what we are calling empathy is often learned hypervigilance from having grown up in an abusive, unpredictably explosive environment. As young children you learn to study people and be aware of any potential "triggers" of the emotionally unstable adults around you. As a child, you are also taught to empathize with your abuser and see how "they are suffering" instead of being attuned to your own feelings from the abuse. As adults, we can use this to our advantage by seeing what others can't see and preemptively avoiding situations escalating. Empathy is a beautiful thing, however how many of us acquired it is a whole other story.

[@Linda-s6z2z]

To give and not to count the cost- I say " give with your heart not your hand"

[@mizsohard]

Oh my goodness you have helped me to understand myself. I thought I was rather strange even since childhood. I am so very thankful to God for giving me this gift. It fits me. 💕

[@orangecat1672]

Love & truth go together . The apostle Paul even said “ Have I become your enemy because I tell you the truth ? “ the problem lies with the narc that cannot receive the truth about themselves .

[@StacieHaneline]

YES! Our empathy enables us to feel what narcissists are feeling. We must learn to discern between the demonic spirits that influence their feelings and our own feelings. Only then can we become separate from the demons that influence narcissists. When we do not respond to their provocation, when we are completely unaffected by their attempts to trigger our wickedness, we know that the holy spirit that lives in us is far greater than the demons that live in them. Only then do we know that we, as Children of God, are winning. ✝️ When they have no power to invoke evil in us they KNOW that they lost and their rage intensifies. We can hate the demons inside of them, but still love them and pray for Jesus to heal them.

[@nowiknowanarcor2197]

When Kevin does his voice of the abusers , I laugh so hard. That’s exactly how they sound in our minds too!😹😹

[@cyndigooch1162]

They do sound similar to that, or much worse, in real life though! 🙉

[@lilliankoenig6873]

Thank you so much for the very deep conversation and explanation about an Empath. Every word resonated in my soul. Totally with you in regards of love and lover. I believe that narcs are want to steal that from you because the devil comes to lie, kill and destroy that what is good...if they manage to turn us into them...into a dark energy...they wan!!!

[@ibbetsonjulie]

I have to learn not to let people see it, just keep it for myself, thankyou

[@tarshaledwards7468]

This entire message speaks to me

[@Ay-B]

Parents may not make you, but they can break you.

[@RedRubyStones]

Only if you let them! God will always fix what they broke. :)

[@maryannbaretta1989]

I'm not allowing the break cause I don't care anymore been abused for yrs and taken advantaged of

[@froggie680]

@@RedRubyStones Are you seriously putting the responsibility for not "letting" parents break you on the child? Quite possibly a very small child?

[@elvisclarks2487]

When you awake to it stay away from them and let God heal you 🙏🏼 ❤

[@sage_forensics_2261]

🙏Great video! Empathy is a quality we should value, especially as Christians. A note of caution, however: too many get caught up in the idea of calling themselves an "Empath" to the point that it becomes a source of victimhood. It is an easy thing to do, and I even fell into this trap. Please, take care with this as it can/may lead to a form of narcissism if one allows it. Also, I have personally seen narcissists in my own family claim to be "Empaths" in order to play the victim role when they were actually Covert Narcs. Please, use your discernment, empathy, intuition, or whatever else you may choose to call it WISELY! Please, please be careful and do not always take someone else's word that they are an Empath. At the same time, do not always assume you are an Empath because you had a Narcissist in your life--a lot of people get sucked into that, too. I pray you hear what I'm saying with love as it is intended. I have seen too many people hurt by this Narc/Empath Dynamic...including myself. God bless you all in your healing! Healing does come with time and by doing the work; No Contact helps a great deal, too. Move toward Peace and away from Chaos, my friends... 🙏

[@Farhat-afza]

I know who I am.

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

I don't know what I am but I know I don't ever want to hurt, bully, criticize or gossip about anyone.

[@TheSeekeroftruth1]

You are so spot on! 💯 I agree, the 'doorway to romantic intimacy' appears to be a major problem with us Empaths. I certainly have a Saviour complex, whereby I apparently seem to try and save people who have fallen on bad times. I do not recall many of my ex boyfriends having been all that successful. I think it all began when as a child of around 5, I found a lost and forgotten teddy bear buried in the sand, since then I have taken in all sorts of lost waifes and strays. My ex narc husband saw me coming a mile off, as easy pray. I love your teachings, you speak to my heart, as if Christ himself. This really touched me today. Thank you. ❤

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

Empathy is only for the deserving

[@jonellmays-conyers7911]

I reserve my empathy for children and pets, but for everyone else, they get logic and reason.

[@vickymulder411]

As an empathy, I had to learn to control my emotions. Walking in a room or being surrounded by people made me feel overwhelmed. I use my gift to help people. I thank God for this gift as it builds relationships with people.🙏🔥

[@martinc6987]

thanks kevin,helped a lot to understand my place in society

[@Jennifer-ch3zq]

23:30 I would love to meet an equally yoked partner.. I feel like all I meet are narcissists they seem drawn to me

[@m998hmmwv7]

Most empath shy away from pretty women because of the perception of being hurt. Narcissist usually don't care enough to worry

[@Jennifer-ch3zq]

@@m998hmmwv7I agree with that

[@ZenZone-li4fr]

I absolutely love how you break it down to good and evil! We benefit greatly when we clear away the jargon and we call a spade a spade ❤💫🙏🏻♤

[@Beanp2025]

Sometimes, it's so clear, Empathy drives you to do good and avoid doing evil, the Lack thereof drives you the other way.

[@sunsetkindoflife]

I would be interested in seeing a video on how to find a partner that is equally yoked. Great point of not using empathy as a way to fix or be intimately involved with another person.

[@LS38389]

To do this effectively, you need to seek friendships rather than see people as potential romantic interest. You need to see people objectively without placing your personal interest onto them. This requires detachment and can be hard for women to do. You must be ready to be only friends, with multiple men. Then after about 100 hours of FaceTime (face to face interaction) then you decide which one is most compatible.

[@veronicafadel8693]

Perfectly said, Kevin! I try to help people see that everything boils down to good and evil. Everything is a representation of either one of those two things, there is no third option. Most people are uncomfortable with this truth, but that's their choice, their journey to trod. I'm on a path to enlightenment and growth, praise the Lord!!! Thanks for the good work you do, Kevin. You've been a source of support for me in my struggle to leave my narc husband of 14 years. This will be my 7th time leaving and, God willing, will NEVER let this man near me again in ANY way. The devil is powerless at a hand's distance.

[@monicamiles4544]

Yes we are a blessing in this world to show compassion and heal.

[@andrewcollins2060]

Thank you for making this video. It has helped a lot. More than you can imagine. God bless. Shalom.

[@joe_mama1120]

Thank you so much for this message. Gave me some real clarity on what I have been trying to do for my daughter. I just reached a breaking point. The fine line of being helpful, to being taken for granted. Her traits are much like my x, a angry narcissistic person. I went skydiving this summer for the first time to face a bunch of my fears, and her behavior was one of them. I can't save people that don't think they are the problem. My heart is very heavy, but I just can't hurting myself by giving her one set of rules and everyone else. You are doing what I call God's work. I'm almost 63. And have a long life story of crap and abuse and being in the 4 quarter of life I can be me with people that deserve me. God bless you sir. Thank you for your time and your food for life.

[@samramajeed5315]

Glad for you sending you love and lotsss of hugsssss ❤❤

[@KrisPaape]

I'm in the same situation - facing Christmas now and dreading it with half my family being narcs and the other empaths. It hurts, truly.

[@joe_mama1120]

@@KrisPaape let me send you my prayers and love. I don't have to meet you to know you. And I get it. It's so hard to choose yourself when we are busy giving to others. Xmas and alike, they made these decisions for us, because we would never choose to be in this boat. God bless you

[@priyanesan3299]

Kevin, Thank you so much for this information. This message gives a breakthrough for many survivors. I was raised by Narc and married Narc through arranged marriage which is common in my culture. Lived with Narc MIL, and SIL. All of my close relationships were Narcs. I came to understand Narcissistic abuse in 2019 and it was an eye opening. I was treading the shallow end for past 6 months. I saved this video to my Watch Later and going to the deepest end possible. Thanks again for sharing this message.👍💯👍🙏👍

[@philyd48]

The right way to find a equally yoked partner is definitely needed.

[@awakened9906]

Kevin, this has hit home on so many levels! Through your message, I have also come to understand that narcissistic people "program" empathic people to exercise this empathy on only them and/or chosen people. My MIL is narcissistic and my husband, her son, is empathetic however, is unable to exercise it when it is proper to do so. I have come to realize that he heavily exercises it towards his mother's high needs and people of HER choosing only (and when it profits her of course). The programming is so deep, he is unable to discern when to stop. And his empathy all too often ends him/in some trouble.

[@Eleanor-hn4vg]

I always thought of this as intuition. It has served me well in potentially dangerous situations.

[@kdycruz]

God bless you for your light words "the gift of empathy is not a door for romantic relations" thank you so much. 🙏

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Thank you 🙏 for a brilliant message Kevin. A gift of empathy is what people need and it must be used very wisely. Your advice for empathetic people is spot on😊God bless you❤

[@sallyjordan7278]

Best advice EVER

[@tmking7483]

Only Jesus can change/save a narcississt. As an empath I hoped for 60 years for my parents to learn to love me_ they never did. I loved the enemy because my instincts made it so, my religious family abused me from birth for being gay_threw me away and abused me for being differnent. Literally every time they abused me _ Jesus showed up _held me in love.

[@maryannbaretta1989]

How precious that Jesus held you upon 💕

[@SusanWillans-b9q]

“ 26:49 My empathy cannot fix” a very important concept. Like your straightforward manner.

[@donnamorgan5641]

And I appreciate his straightforward manner as opposed to being coddled and gaslit.

[@irenechinoda6050]

thank you so much….you talked exactly about me. i always get involved with men that a broken…as i try to empathise and help i end up falling for them….and it has never worked. Thank you….I can see clearly now….

[@mukosolu2008]

Thank you! For this, unfortunately/Fortunately I am an empath. I did not know why I was always in these good, but bad situations, but now I understand. I have been asking God for more clarity because I’m finally alone, but I know that everything you said here is me. And it’s very sad to know this, but it is necessary.

[@nowalijka]

3:57 - So true! In other words, procreation is not the same as creation. This distinction is crucial in understanding: 1- that no parent is the owner of his/her child and 2- the inherent value of every person's life - its source is not parents themselves, but a higher power - the Creator. Thank you for caring for the truth and sharing it with both grace and humour. Greetings from Poland!

[@belight6280]

Incredible teaching. Thank you for real.

[@Occams_Razor489]

Yessss please. Please do a video on the right way to find a romantic partner.

[@Hooray7874]

I give you kudos for this video! It is a wonderful work of art. The rhetoric around mental and emotional health for people with high amounts of dark triad characteristics is relentlessly unforgiving. As Christians, we should understand that "oppression can drive the wise one into madness” (Ecc 7:7). Yes, the maltreatment of mothers, fathers, step parents, governments, etc has harsh effects on people. These people are imperfect just like us and are driven into these dark behaviors. They should still receive consoling. It does require patience and I can admit that’s difficult. However, we must remember Gods admonition at Mathew 10:16 "Look! I am sending you out as sheep among wolves; so prove yourselves cautious as serpents and yet innocent as doves”!!!! Try to focus on their good qualities. Love hopes all things (1 Cor 13:7).

[@Stellbell191]

This was a great video! Very needed. Thank you.

[@saganhuxley]

Whoa! I am so glad I found your channel! This is like a psychological sermon hybrid. Holy moly. Next level!

[@moniquegrillet5134]

Super insightful content, and so very helpful! Thank you

[@cartomancymesquite]

I am an empath, born into a family of jackals.

[@marlaesinger]

I love that he’s making the videos longer 🎉

[@TheRoyalWe]

Thank you! I was actually very timid to upload longer videos. But you’ve encouraged me today

[@rinishan]

Every empath needs to hear this!! Word

[@elliewegman1846]

I respect you, so I set aside time to really quest this podcast. I seem to have had a lifetime of abuse by narcs, so have gone no contact for a long time. But they are everywhere, these narcs. So I have firm boundaries now with no second chances. I know empathy made me a superb teacher of broken children. Now, as an old person living alone I now save my empathy for total strangers I meet. I'm also a good listener, and people open up to strangers. This is my joy in the life of people. I feel this is needed, somehow. I have soaked up your pods, you have given me so many keys, your views on Cain and Abel have been shared many times. I'd really like for myself to experience being loved and cared for, but this is only a dream and has lost the power to hurt. God bless you, Kevin.

[@fifilafleur5555]

🙏🏻♥️🙏🏻

[@samramajeed5315]

You are loved my dear ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@khadidjaalya2627]

u can still love a person and choose not to be with them and its okay ! For my case I will still love my narsicistic ex cuz he was the personification of my parents wound, he literaly ressemble them and he helped me see what was going on in my subconsious mind so I thank him for that but I will never go back to him

[@Emefur1]

It’s true, our parents didn’t “make” us … I ❤and appreciated where your (‘rant’) train of thought was going. Hoping that understanding our gift of empathy helps us find our place in this life, in this world.

[@shoopy3109]

Thank you Kevin! I now understand what a true empath is. Points well taken.

[@vern0123-t5j]

Ok, I can't fix another person's problems 🙏 Thank you.

[@lucyadams2790]

EMPATHS...BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLIES 🦋 💓 GOD LOVES AND HAS NEED OF...AND GOD SHALL REAP 🙏 ✨️ THAT WONDERFUL 🙏 HARVEST.

[@biarlahhaih]

i feel SOOOOO uplifted with all these compliments! THANK YOU!!!!!

[@sharonvass8700]

Brilliant so true they say you think you are better than me I hate it when narcs say I know what you are thinking and they totally don’t

[@jennyhewitt3472]

This was a great one. Thank you! Misuse of empathy gets everyone in trouble.

[@annetteschilder1235]

Thank you very much for this message. This one is so important (at least for me). It also means we empaths don't have to change our nature to survive in this dominant narcissistic world. You provided me with information I wasn't able to figure out. It also makes it easier not to (try to) fall into the trap of wanting to use the empathy for romance. That is also an eye-opener. So a video on finding a partner which you suggested would be really helpful 😊.

[@TheAarikja]

I used to doubt that I could be an empath being an INTJ female...looks like we just process empathy in a slightly different way. One of my greatest joys in life is creating the 'mood', ambience, creating wonderful exotic dishes to serve, beautiful music, living things like plants, fish tanks, birds, deep conversations and having people come and go in my home happy to arrive, happy while there, enriched, then leave feeling wonderful. It's like a warm hug and it is very sincere to my home, while there and when leaving with a welcome mat at the door (but call me first to let me know you are coming so I can prepare for you).

[@ursulaericsson9813]

Wow! So much wisdom in this message ❤. The whole message!! "The gift of empathy is for the world".

[@lucyadams2790]

Indeed, i value my emotional integrity and moral compass...my empathy...above all else.😊

[@susangeyer8060]

Yes please do a video on finding a partner.

[@TinaWard13_113]

This channel has helped me SO much to better understand the screwed up dynamics of my present romantic relationship. Especially in the area of being equally/unequally yoked with a damaged/highly narcissistic person. And in my situation it truly is unequally. No matter how hard I try to say the right thing to them or do the right thing for them, it's ALWAYS going to be the wrong thing. PERIOD. But it still doesn't change the fact that I still love this person. In my heart, I know that this isn't really love either. I am trauma bonded to them. Although I am aware of this, it doesn't change the hurt/pain that I feel from it. It's sheer torture when you know that this person neither can nor ever will love you back as much as you do them. I am forever stuck in a perpetual loop with this broken person. And now they're breaking me as well. 😢

[@DJ-yw3gf]

I enjoyed this video. Many itn KZbin talk about the narc and why they are doing what they are doing and why we fell for it. Saying how WE are supposed to respond to THEIR actions or falsehoods. I have not heard anyone say empaths are valuable to this world (not just the suckers who fell for a trick) Maybe I wasn't ready to hear that until now. Ya know? BTW, You know you need to do the video on how to recognize the right person. That's why you thought of it😊 PEACE❤